Doctor Who thread II: "I should have a hat like that." [SPOILERS]

[comicshorse]

(from Androgeus' first link)

I'm sad that the chances of having Eccleston back are so slim, the reason for the falling out being such a stupid misunderstanding...

OH ? I always thought Eccleston's refusal to return was down to wishing to draw a line under Dr Who and move on with his career

[Sunfall]

OH ? I always thought Eccleston's refusal to return was down to wishing to draw a line under Dr Who and move on with his career

Yes, these very probably were his reasons. But they wouldn't bar the occasional guest appearance per se, would they?

However, as the end of Series 1 drew close, a PR guy at the BBC made a mistake: They answered to a press inquiry that Eccleston was leaving the role (which they shouldn't have made public yet) because he was fearing to be typecast (which he himself apparently either never said or at least never wanted to say in public). Eccleston wasn't pleased.

So whatever chance he might have had of coming back, it's dwindled to minuscule now.

(You can read the BBC's apology here.)

BTW, I don't think there's anyone to blame here. We all make mistakes. It was just a misunderstanding. But it's a pity nonetheless.

[CurlyKitGirl]

I'm back snitches.

Koorly's Archive of Her Doctor Who Reviews:
Classic Who

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Second Doctor

Spoiler

Show

Series 6
'The Invasion' Part 1/8

Fourth Doctor

Spoiler

Show

Series 12
'Genesis of the Daleks' Part 1/6, Part 2/6

Nu Who

Spoiler

Show

Season 1 - retrospective

Spoiler

Show

Brief Whole Series Retrospective

Season 2 - retrospective

Spoiler

Show

Brief Whole Series Retrospective

Season 3 - blind bar Moffat

Spoiler

Show

Ep. 1: 'Smith and Jones' -missing.
Ep. 2: 'The Shakespeare Code'
Ep. 3: 'Gridlock'
Ep. 4: 'Daleks in Manhattan' (part 1/2)
Ep. 5: 'Evolution of the Daleks' (part 2/2)
Ep. 6: 'The Lazarus Experiment'
Ep. 7: '42'
Ep. 8: 'Human Nature' (part 1/2)
Ep. 9: 'The Family of Blood' (part 2/2)
Ep. 10: 'Blink'
Ep. 11: 'Utopia' (part 1/3)
Ep. 12: 'The Sound of the Drums' (part 2/3)
Ep. 13: 'The Last of the Time Lords' (part 3/3)

Children in Need 2007 episode: 'Time Crash'
2007 Christmas Episode: 'Voyage of the Damned'

Bits and Bobs About Season 3
Retrospective - to be written later
Why I Do Not Like Martha/Ten (This was written between my write ups of ep. 8 and ep 9)

Season Four blind bar Moffat

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Show

Ep. 1: 'Partners in Crime'
Ep. 2: 'The Fires of Pompeii'
Ep. 3: 'Planet of the Ood'
Ep. 4: 'The Sontaran Stratagem' Part 1/2
Ep. 5: ‘The Poison Sky‘ Part 2/2
Ep. 6: ‘The Doctor‘s Daughter‘ Posted in two parts.
Ep. 7: 'The Unicorn and the Wasp'

Season 5 - blind bar Moffat's Angels

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Show

Ep. 11: 'The Lodger'

Season 6

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Show

To to things this series was split in two, as such eps. 8 - Christmas episode will be liveblogged, and the first seven will be written with me having seen them before.

Ep. 8: 'Let's Kill Hitler'
Ep. 9: 'Night Terrors'
Ep. 10: 'The Girl Who Waited'
Ep. 11: 'The God Complex'
Ep. 12: 'Closing Time'
Ep. 13: Missing

2011 Christmas Special: 'The Doctor, The Widow and the Wardrobe'

And now, to boldly go where many have gone before. [*cue TOS theme (Such a classic introduction)*]

'The Invasion' part 1/8

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Show

So yeah, apparently I can't focus on one thing at a time and insist on watching what, three episodes or serials at once now.
Anyway, the story behind this is that it was a twenty-first birthday present, so I kind of wanted to watch it (and therefore had to review it) as soon as possible. I also got 'Remembrance of the Daleks'.
And Firefly which I also haven't seen. Ever.
And STar Trek: TOS season one. Which I have seen, but not recently.
And Sherlock. DEM CHEEKBONES.
And Omkara.
Point is, so much to review and watch on top of my others. So soon I'm going to be hosting everything offsite somewhere too.

But now stuff let's actually watch the episode.

PATRICK TROUGHTON!! JAMIE!! ZOE!! (Okay, I have no idea who she is at all, is she at all memorable) CYBERMEN!! THE INTRODUCTION OF UNIT AND BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE-STEWART!!!!!

I may be a leetle excited.

And I adore Two’s theme. But I say that about every theme don’t I? But Jesus Christ O'Reilly, that face over the Time Vortex effect! I will not be seeing it in my nightmare, but I completely understand why the music alone sent children running away to hide behind the sofa.

Because if they didn't the Doctor would eat them! To death. Still, you got to smile, so nostalgic in the way all true children's television is when you watch it as an 'adult'.

And the way it melts into the title in such a way that the last of him you see are his eyes. Staring at you. Those dead, dead eyes.

The writer is Derrick Sherwin, he was the script editor from 'The Mind Robber' to 'The Web of Fear' and was the one responsible for casting Jon Pertwee as the Third Doctor. He was also basically the assistant producer for all of series six. Cool dude.

This serial is based on a story by Kit Pedler. This dude was the science advisor to Doctor Who, wrote the serials 'The Tenth Planet', 'The Moonbase' and - oh my giggy aunt - 'The Tomb of the Cybermen'. As well as submitting outlines for stories that eventually became 'The Invasion', 'The War Machines' and 'The Wheel in Space'.

'The Tenth Planet' introduced regeneration and the Cybermen. 'The Invasion' introduced UNIT. 'THe Tomb of the Cybermen' is considered one of the best episodes of Classic Who ever.

This dude you guys. This dude made Classic Who.

Oh no. It's Nicholas Courtney. A moment of silence please.

So!

We open with . . . . a rather creepy animated thing. Ah, my first lost episode. So many firsts today aren't there?

Why did the TARDIS suddenly piece itself together from nothing?! This kind of implies that the TARDIS doesn't . . . materialise . . . in one piece and that is oh so very freaky. It's like in ST: TMP where Random Vulcan's materialisation goes horrendously wrong! The TARDIS has broken down in space and no wonder given it's materialisation!

Oh but look at Two's console room! And then - argh! Creepy close up of CG'd Troughton! He. Looks. Insanely. Disturbing. Those bags under his eyes. The shadows. The hair with its utter lack of texture or movement. The eyebrows!

But obviously the freaky materialisation was Very Not Good because the Doctor's panting like he's just run a marathon and Jamie just said "Doctor, it's all right! It worked!"

Jamie’s really cute. And Scottish He’s like Amy Mark One. I can’t wait to see Jamie IRL. I think I'm going to like Jamie.

Zoe on the other hand. A '60s bob and freakishy obvious eyelashes. She's quite cute, but the fringe truly doesn't suit her. Ehehehe. And she's wearing one of those tank top vesty things.

Dudes. They're stuck on the dark side of the moon! Better watch out for autobots and decepticons mate. They'll ruin your show. Wait whut. Zoe's seen this before? Is this another backwards girl going forwards? Are we River Songing someone?!

So then there’s a flashy light - a missile - on the moon. It's a bit obvious from the CG so I'll assume that in IRL it wasn't so easy to make out. God Zoë’s a bit annoying. And has a squeaky voice.

Z: "Somebody's fired a missile at us Jamie! Oh Doctor, come on, let's get out of here!"

But there's some stuff about jammed landing circuits. What I want to know is why they can't just . . . vworp vworp to five minutes later.

“We’ll never make it. Oh we’re too late!” Oh Zoe. Oh Zoe. If you’re the archetypal Screaming Damsel of Doctor Who I will lose my temper all over your whiny - but pretty - face. It has to be the voice I’m objecting to more than anything, I’m sure it’ll get better.

Or I could just be determined to like everything about Classic Who I don’t know. I don’t even know if the previous sentence was an actual fact, but I can’t think of much Classic Who I’ve not liked. On the other hand, I’ve only seen two episodes of ‘Genesis of the Daleks’, so the quality is probably non-indicative.

This is genius. The Doctor is smashing the TARDIS console with what appears to be a stapler. Percussive maintenance truly does fix anything doesn't it? I'm surprised people didn't try it more often on Star Trek.

Oh my god the TARDIS was just asploded!

Maybe the stapler didn't fix it after all.

And then there was a cow.

And then there was a TARDIS. Staplers: they really do fix everything.

What is Jamie wearing? It looks like a waistcoat with furry lapels. OH WAIT THIS IS PAST ASSISTANT YES! YES! This is an Assistant that is not from Present Day Earth. (As far as the viewers are concerned) And when I say Assistant I mean 'more than one episode long'. Aside from Captain Jack Harkness this is my first one of these! Well, him and the Master obviously.

My days: they are happy.

J: "I think we've landed." No faecal matter Sherlock. But with that accent I'll forgive you anything.

D: "Yes, I'm . . . I'm sorry about that Jamie."

Okay. Um. Things.

One: look at my screencap.

I think I'm going to ship these two based entirely on this scene. Also because it's fun.

Seriously. In a reconstructed episode the Doctor and Jamie share a deep, meaningful gaze as Jamie rests his hand on the Doctor and the Doctor HUMBLY APOLOGISES! This is a humble Doctor. For no Serious Reason. Just because.

Granted, I am a fangirl who revels in homoerotic (sub)text, so I could just be completely wrong. F'rinstance, the hand-on-shoulder could be written into the script, and even if it wasn't, well, the actors and/or director may have chosen to do it. And it was the sixties when there were different social protocols and casual touch between men was very common. Or at least couldn't be automatically read as subtext.

Or. Because film was expensive this may very well have been a one or two-shot take and therefore this may very well have been completely spontaneous. I choose to take this option!

Either way the hand-on-shoulder pat could be platonic or romantic. On its own.

But this eye contact is sustained for five seconds.

Could still be platonic. Sheer concern and all that jazz. Although this could easily fall under the romantic section.

Even the tone and attitude could be platonic.

But all three at once? I, personally, call shenanigans. I have evidence and it amuses me. Even if I'm unsure as to how how the Doctor looks right now.

Oh, and the pair totes dismiss Zoe, enquiring after her health very casually. Literally 'are you okay Zoe', 'oh absolutely'!

Zoe's a moron. "Why would anyone want to fire a missile at us? Surely they'd figure out who we were first?" Um. No. Perhaps you intruded upon enemy space? During a war? Maybe you were in the wrong place at the wrong time?! And I can totally say this because at this point in time I don't think they know they're above most-likely-Present-Day-Earth at all.

And she sounds oh so very much like Alice from Disney's version of Alice in Wonderland. Now, while I want to call her Alice, chances are there'll eventually be an Alice eventually. Zolice? Aloe? She's even wearing an Alice band for Heaven's sake! Meh. Zoe 'tis.

Z: "The question is was the object we saw on the other side of the moon in this time zone or not?" Whu. Right. By time zone does she mean like GMT timezones? Or time zone as 'does this object belong to the part of history'? Because I don't think the Moon has time zones and - granted, she has a point if she means the latter. But why doesn't she assume it's from the period and place in time and history? The logical thing to do.

I mean granted, it's probably Cybermen, but Zoe hasn't read the script yet! And her eyelashes are so disturbingly big.

How could the missile still be "out there" Jamie if it asploded! Or did they not sense the asplosion? Because it did go boom.

There’s a cow on the TARDIS viewscreen. I don't know why, but this amuses me greatly. Cow. TARDIS viewscreen. These two things should not meet, which is why they work so amazingly. And really, this is Doctor Who. The main character has two hearts, eleven regenerations (or possibly more thanks to River Song), sonic everythings, has a magical box that's bigger inside than the universe with . . . whom (or which) he has an unusual possibly romantic relationship and he travels throughout all of time and space for various purposes, but mostly because he wants to.

Oh, and he randomly picks up assistants/companions (mostly humans from Present Day Earth) for said adventures. And possibly for other things. If you think the Doctor (in any incarnation) is into that sort of thing.

Which I may do.

Depending on the Doctor and the assistant/companion.

Point is I love this show because nothing about it should work and this makes it work perfectly.

And that is why having a cow staring with bovine curiosity at a blue sentient police box is so fantastic.

I need to learn to shut up.

Jamie then makes the Understatement of the Century: "What's wrong with the TARDIS? It keeps going wrong all the time."

D: "It merely needs an overhaul Jamie, just like any piece of machinery." In bed. And that's a pretty harsh way to talk about your only constant companion for the last several hundred years. Bet she does this on purpose to get back at your insulting her like this. And apparently you can get custom-made TARDIS pieces on Present Day Earth. By which I mean the 1960s. Out of what, bakerlite tubes?

D: "England in summertime I should say. See the rain clouds." XD So they're off to see the wizardProfessor Travers in the Emerald CityLondon then. The TARDIS is Dorothy, Zoe is Toto, and Jamie and the Doctor are the Lion, the Scarecrow and the Tin Man. Is Prof. Travers a person or a person for this serial and no other.

Then things go boom and -invisiTARDIS! I haven't - or won't - see you until 'Let's Kill Hitler' in over forty years!

And then the Doctor hitch hikes. Oh,more innocent times. Except, of course the lorry driver is a mean evil person because his eyes had a squinty close up of Evil. And his lorry is followed by two dudes on motorcycles. And motorcycles are evil. Also the driver is poorly shaven.

So the driver pulls over to some ominous music and our trio are told to get out. Huh. Two and Eleven are dressed fairly alike, they both have a Scottish companion and are prone to being awesome (or so I'm told). But Zoe is no Rory. Zoe, I am disappoint.

Ao into the woods we go, and we're hiding because the "only" company around here is stalking Lorry Driver. LD: "You're not from the community then?" Is this a local lorry from a local company only intended for local people? Or just your standard cult? Oh. There's a compound. Cult is looking more and more likely.

Zoe thinks so too asking if there are "prisoners" inside the compound. To which we get the chilling answer "Those who haven't gone over to the company are, yes".

Cuuuuullllllt.

And some very familiar links to Ten's AU!Cyberman two-parter. A company controlling what people think, Cybermen, Prof. Travers is probably going to be the bad guy. (No I haven't read the blurb on the DVD)

Dirty mind time: LD: "I got in all right. But getting out again might be a bit more difficult." . . . oh yeah.

So this company is International Electromatics. Controlled by Cybermen. Has to be. Electronics. Cyber. Electromat. Cybermat. I'm a genius. And it helps the DVD cover has a bit picture of a Cyberman on it, as well as a dude who looks very Professorish.

So expositions says that International Electromatics is like Microsoft but for everything electric. And it functions out of one community. Huh. One community that works only for the Company and nothing else.

And LD is from an infiltration unit or something. Bet he's from UNIT. By the by. Just so you know this is an entire reference to this thing called communism! el gasp!

So LD pulls over and - repeats some footage - tells the trio to get lost. Also, its foggy now and they're in the same forest as before, but backwards. And then the motorcycle dudes catch LD and well - I look at them and I can't help but think it's an unholy marriage of the SS and the KGB. Particularly as LD is ordered to come back for questioning.

This is surprisingly tense. It's a combination of the (admittedly melodramatic) music and the suspiciously robotic nature of the private police. LD rightly points out they've no authority off-site and then the motorcops pull guns.

Er. Just so you know, I'm relatively certain that guns were illegal without a special license (and mainly to farmers). I mean the police aren't allowed guns for God's sake! Eh. Drama. Also Not!Microsoft probably owns the country as this is heavily implied to be the only compound in the world.

Wow. LD is surprisingly knowledgeable about his rights. "You want to hold me, get onto the police. See you". I like LD. Does he ever get a name you think?

AND DEN HE GET SHOT! And we got a close up of his face as he was shot! Dude! 1960s! Children! Grown ups! Trauma! Particularly as, remember, this was aired twenty-three years after the end of WWII and the . . . Vietnam? war was going on at the time.

Fancy standing up against a warm wall with a last ciggie 'fore you go?

And hello. Murder. LD has family and things. I'm assuming. He was cool.

OH MY GOD! tHEY SHOT HIM AGAIN! IN THE TUMMY! AND AGAIN! Complete with close ups of agonised eyes! I mean wow. This is some high stakes stuff going on here. A dude with valid (read: extremely well forged or actual valid papers) was shot three times in the chest and tummy for no reason. Okay, maybe some suspicious behaviour and major attitude. But dude.

I am so invested in the story. Sure, 10:30 in and all that jazz. But I watch amazingly bad films all the time. I have no standards. Okay. I actually do. I review things after all. But this is really interesting (if corny and a little predictable) because of the story and our complete lack of knowledge about anything.

All I know is that we actually are in 20^th England, relatively close to London. So maybe Kent or East Anglia perhaps. I got a very Kent feel from the opening.

Oh. And there's an evil communistic-but-not-really Company going around brainwashing and blackmailing people into being their slaves because Cybermen! And if you sass back you get shot. I would be so dead if I lived in the Not!Microsoft commune of Doom.

Aside from the communist angle and the Cybermen and the shooting I know as much about what's going on as our protagonists.

This is awesome.

And I just know that if this were Ten he'd be rattling off all this history and Sherlock scanning everything in sight, and while that's cool, I like being in the dark along with our protagonists.

Granted I don't especially like Ten - I mean he's not consistent in his behaviour - I mean. Look, when it comes to Ten I'm hot and cold! I just can't get a grip on him, but he really does come across as overbearing and obnoxious a lot. So do Nine and Eleven, but they're cool. They're consistent (mostly) and have attitude and a so wonderful and -

Look. Haters gonna hate, so I'm gonna be awesome my way. But back to the story!

IS THAT A MINI?! That's a classic mini that is. Those're tiny. And I think our Trio are going to hitch-hike again. They did. Can't believe they all got in the mini. That's insane. Oh, and I just found out from Mum that Jamie's from some five hundred years ago or something. So he's just chilling with the cars. No panic at all. Jamie is awesome. I don't care what canon says, he's a redhead to me.

So London. Very noisy for such empty streets. And Prof. Travers' house is now Watkins' house. And she's a photographer? Taking photos of herself. Dirty girl. Why's she hiding her face?

And dose hands!

So the DOctor tries to unjam the camera. Camera Chick natters and is Watkins' niece. Travers and his female-relative-who-is-possibly-his-daughter are currently in Americaland. And

whoa. I FORGOT THIS WAS THE SIXTIES!

Hello Nurse. Mmmm! She is nice. Obviously she thinks so too as she has a photo of herself on the living room well. Wannabe model. Or worse.

Ah. My mistake. Uppity student mooching off her uncle's generosity whilst he mooches off of Travers via his daughter's (Travers') lab. What kind of girl has her own personal lab that is good enough for an actual professor of science?!

Specifically "applied physics or something". Oh! Another reference to someone being a "complete nut"! LB thought the Trio were complete nuts, now Travers - Watkins even - is a complete nut. LB and Watkins work for the same person. Calling it now.

Sadly Miss Legs is your typical teenager, so when the Doctor asks when they can find the Other Professor she says "how should I know? I'm not his keeper". You are, however, his niece and are living with him so you should have some grasp of his daily routine.

Okay. Rethink. Miss Legs (who completely ignored the Doctor to do this) asks Zoe (I think) to pose for her. But the thing is. Well. Look at them. I really did think she was talking to Jamie at first.

Ah. Other Professor has been missing for a week. AND MISS LEGS IS HORRIBLE SHE JUST TOLD JAMIE HE WASN'T NEEDED IN THE IMPROMPTU PHOTOSHOOT. This is all lies and horrible horrible things! Jamie looked adorable when he was posing!

Eh. Screw it. Miss Legs is a closet lesbian who's going to be using these pictures of Zoe as light entertainment once they're developed.

Bee Tea Dubs. Other Professor also works for Not!Microsoft. He's a brainwashed cultist now. Shame that. I do have to love how casually Miss Legs mentions that if they want to try to call the Prof (shorthanding down my shorthand) the number's "scribbled on the wall". I'd get belted round the head for writing on the walls even if I was her age. For that matter I think I am her age. She's starting to look and sound older with every passing minute.

So while Jamie and the Doctor go off to call the Prof Miss Legs says to Zoe "Let's get you fixed up with some gear". My mind goes to dirty places. And yes, while I understand that this is, you know, the 1960s and courtesy is incredibly automatic (it still is to be honest), there wasn't even a joke about Jamie staying to watch. Again. I know. 1960s telly regs are not modern day regs, but you got to admit, this builds up my Jamie/Doctor pairing. And my Miss Legs/Zoe pairing.

You just know off screen they're flouncing around in skimpy underwear.

And out in the Hall. It made me laugh. I wonder if any of the information on the wall is foreshadowing and if so, how much was added by the CG people as opposed to what was in the original episode.

Hey! I'm on the same track as Jamie and the Doctor. Oh I'm awesome. And then I have to smile, Jamie asks in an earnest tone whether or not the Prof could have been kidnapped to which the Doctor responds fondly, "Ah Jamie, you mustn't let your imagination run away with you." This is balancing on the very edge between flirting and chatting.

Then a woman answers the phone, and she's basically your standard robo-lady on the phone. Press one to speak to X. Press 2 to run your phone bill up by £10. Press 3 to die of boredom waiting for a human being to answer the phone. Press 4 to hang up.

D: "This is an automatic answering device! [That's what it's called] Ah, shut up you stupid machine!" And how many of us have said the same thing to one of them? Answer: all of us. Also irony because Cybermen.

So the Trio (probably plus Miss Legs) are off to break into Not!Microsoft.

Whoa. Just whoa. And ironically, Zoe is wearing something vaguely similar to what Jamie's wearing. Oh, and Miss Legs has yet another photo of herself in the living room.

Ugh. Zoe'd rather have a girly night in than hang out with the Doctor and Jamie and break into communisitic murdering cultist Microsoft compounds. Zoe's such a girl you guys. Then again, could be for some kinky fun times with Miss Legs lying down on the floor. Bet she's trying to get an upskirt shot from Zoe.

When Miss Legs informs the Doctor that the address for this cultist commune is also written down on the wall Jamie ripostes "Do you not write anything down on paper at all?" And while this doesn't read awesome, it does in a Scottish accent. And it's Jamie. Jamie for whom I have developed a fond love.

ML: "Well I'd only lose it if I did. Writing on a wall is much safer. You can't lose a wall, can you?" Eh. You can in Ankh-Morpork. And in the Dominiverse (of Dominic Deegan repute) has a meme about a randomly appearing/disappearing wall. And the TARDIS does appear and disappear and get lost and stolen. And actually, given enough mates and a dark night I could probably nick a wall too.

Transition to . . . something that looks exactly like a London office block in the City. You know, I think some of the backgrounds are stills and telesnaps which explains a lot.

GUYS guys guys guys! GUYS! Jamie's in a kilt! Awesome. And he has some massive cuffs on his shirt too.

The music is overly dramatic and cheesy and thus fantastic as we get the Big Reveal. Aside from cropping the shot as I split screen when I do these things this screencap is completely unedited.

I repeat: I did not edit this shot in any way.

Guess my theory about Microsoft being the true villains was true. At least we now know where Bill Gates got his ideas from. Turn out Bill Gates is the CyberController.

So after more melodrama we get two dudes watching our two dudes walk into the building. Inside the building there seems to be one computer. A 1960s computer. So old-fashioned.

First proper shot of Jamie in a kilt! I am pleased.

The Doctor, being from the Incredibly Far Away Future calls the computer "stupid". Mostly because that computer is the receptionist! That's right. A multi-global super-hyper-corporation has . . . one receptionist.

No. Literally. She is literally the receptionist. And I'm calling a computer a girl. But she's the receptionist and is a computer, and sure, she's running on pre-set programmes or something stupid technoTreknobabble like that, but she's acting like the receptionist.

She doesn't even have . . . whatever the opposite of speakers are called!

Nonetheless, I love the poking of fun at corporations and bureaucracy.

The Doctor fights with the computer using the word "emergency", but when asked to state the nature of the emergency "It's a private matter!"

Computer: "Private matters have no emergency status." Okay, secretly I like this computer. Plus a computer from the 1960s with an automated response thingy managed to confuse and frustrate the Doctor.

I call foreshadowing on this line! "THere must be something else in this building than these stupid machines." Cue a walk down a darkened brick corridor to eerie music. Our Duo are being stalked by CCTV cameras. Somehow I doubt Mycroft is behind it this time.

Back with the dudes in the car. They're communicating with HQ. And our Duo have gone down a dead end so they're going to wait to presumably abduct them. This sounds really, really like Mycroft's usual shtick if I'm honest. It's all ominous because the driver dude says "If they come out."

Back with our protagonists. Well. Not really. They're on a telly screen being watched by our villain of the piece! We know he's evil because we had an Extreme Close Up of his eyes before zooming out. And he has Vulcan-like eyebrows. And slicked back blond hair. (I think it's slicked back, this CG isn't all that good.) And he has a really high collar coming almost up to his neck. Also: the music is This. Person. Is. Evil.

Actually, now I think about it, literally looks like a Disney villain. Look. On your left: Judge Claude Frollo. On your right: our unnamed villain.

So one of the stormtroopers is told to deal with the pair. Our duo are then gassed. Uncomfortable parallels~

And it turns out the two outside in the car also want our two, so they're not working for Microsoft. The stormtroopers are about to punch the Doctor in the face, but Frollo interrupts and orders them brought to his office. Oh. His name's Mr. Vaughn. And it seems Puncy McPunchesalot gets off on 'interrogating' people. He's so eager to pound people to a bloody pulp, but ultimately does as Frollo says. Good idea too, you don't want to get burned alive.

Our Villain Vibes increase as Frollo is introduced to our heroes standing bolt upright and suave in the Bond Vllain way as he apologises for their near brutalisation, but gently chides them for breaking and entering.

J: "Well, there's no need for all that gas and stuff."
D: [Overlaps with Jamie's line after "all] "Jamie, please." Look at this! Gentle chiding, being protective because Jamie is acting a wee bit silly. These two are such a couple. "I think perhaps it is we who should be apologising to you Mr.
F(rollo):"Vaughn. TObias Vaughn." Okay. Tobias is an Evil Name. Natch. Frollo knows all about the Prof because that computer also acts as an intercom system! And controls the entire building!

Jamie fumbles and accidentally lets slip that their problem is some electronic circuits. Time Lord circuits I might add. And now Frollo of 1960s Earth and probably works for and/or is cybercontrolled somehow wants to see them.

Granted he don't know it's Time Lord tech, but still.

THE DOCTOR THEN HANDS HIS TIME LORD TECHNOLOGY OVER! YOU KNOW, THE TIME LORD TECH THAT NEARLY DESTROYED THE UNIVERSE! THE TIME LORD TECH THAT CAN MAKE THE TARDIS DO TARDIS THINGS! Stupid Doctor is Stupid.

And now Frollo is sending them to his workshops (of evil) for examination. Bee Tea Dubs. He has a gun in his desk drawer. And then he offers Jamie a "disposable transistor radio". They're roughly the size of cassette walkmans. Remember those? Gods, I can't believe I do. In my life span we've gone from those to dinky little iPoddy things.

Also, this is like 'Rise of the Cybermen'/'The Age of Steel' two-parter. At least this doesn't have Rose in it. So obviously these radio actually are mind-control devices. Called it. So Jamie gladly accepts the radio and we're quickly shown how it works. Basically it has an on/off switch. Nothing else.

Frollo doesn't blink very often. He must know about the Angels.

So the Doctor hurries Jamie out, rather rudely I must say, and - in what I think is foreshadowing, Frollo simply says "Goodbye Doctor" as opposed to enquiring to his surname. Jamie on the other hand is quite effusive about his gift. Honestly, I think we can forgive the Doctor his brusqueness as he's just had part of his TARDIS nicked.

Punchy McPunchyfist is rather rude as he kicks our two out and Jamie (seriously, I love him) says "Oh don't tell me you can read as well. What else do you do?" Get soundly beaten in a game of wits by a Scotsman who's five hundred years displaced in time that's what! This probably does mean Jamie can't read though.

I adore how the Doctor has to keep scolding Jamie.

Called it. THe Doctor also think Frollo's lack of blinking is suspicious. I do like the irony brought up about the average rate of human blinking when in the CG episode the rate of blinking is perhaps two or three times a minute.

Wait what. What "charm" are you going on about? He's creepy weird. In fact, he's "[s]inister. Almost inhuman." Okay. Calling it now. Frollo is actually a Cyberman.

dramatic cut to Frollo

He is posing provocatively by the window, gazing out over the city skyline. Evilly. Down at our duo presumably. He then reputs the circuits in his gun drawer and reveals a . . . well.

You know those cartoons about The Red Button? Well, that's what Frollo has on his wall. It opens a secret passage in his wall. Inside that alcove is what I assume to be Cyberman tech. It is a little annoying that I know that the villains are cybermen I admit because it removes some of the mystery.

Okay. I think that egg-shaped thingy has roughly Cyberman shaped edges to it. Ominous.

Cue the scream and credits!

Preview thoughts: None today. And Lorry Driver has no name sadly.

Best Moment: Jamie is so sassy! But I also liked the badass nature of the Lorry Driver.

Worst Moment: Zoe's marvellous 'were they firing the rocket at us' moment.

Best Special Effect: First, a cheat: the entire episode because without it we’d be missing an episode, even if it’s not the best CG I’ve seen. Also, because of this I can't really pick a best effect either. What I am baffled by is that this was made in 2005!

Worst Special Effect: First, a cheat: the entire episode because it removed some of the charms (or kitsch value) of Classic Doctor Who. And really, despite the fact that this was animated in 2005 the quality isn't all that good.
Don't get me wrong, it's still better than no Who, but I'm eternally creeped out by those misshapen fish hands and the inflexibility of the hair.

Best Actor: Eh. It was a radio play really. But Jamie. Um. What's his name? Frazer Hines! And Patrick Troughton!

Worst Actor: That one dude in the car in the plaza who wasn't the driver. What? There were a lot of really good, or just plain hammy performances and I felt they really fit the story.

Most Punchable Character: Give me a Zee!

Death Count: One! A very violent one!

Kink of the Episode: Jamie. I’m sorry, but he’s Scottish and has a lovely accent and has a kilt and I’m fairly sure that if this was an IRL episode rather than CG he’d be so much nicer. Do you think Jamie’s a redhead?! That would be amazing.

And Miss Legs. I don't even know what her real name is.

Thoughts overall?

The CG is really weird. It certainly takes some time getting used to, and I can’t help but imagine how tricky it must have been for the artists to reconstruct this episode based on recordings, scripts, telesnaps and the like.

Kudos to them.

But overall? I'm really looking forward to this serial. It's tightly written and without my exterior knowledge that there are Cybermen in this serial I'd probably have no idea who was behind everything. Most likely because I'd have missed the Cyberegg looking cybery.

I love Jamie, Zoe is a girl and annoying, and Two is . . . different. Good different. He's rather . . . nervous and perhaps a bit timid (I think) and definitely introspective which is a good thing I think. He's definitely interesting and I think will grow on me quickly.

And his relationship with Jamie (in whatever capacity) is truly wonderful! I don't know how long they been together at this point but their interactions are really lovely. Adorable even.

Can't really say much else because I've seen maybe an eighth of the serial entirely. But this is a very good and intriguing introduction to the serial. And the accidental jokes amuse me.

[Das Platyvark]

There's one thing I was surprised to realize about my expectations for series 7: I really don't care in the least where Moffat goes with this, as long as he gets rid of River as soon as possible.

[Friv]

I'm back snitches.

'The Invasion' part 1/8

Woo!

I'm just watching that serial right now! What a weird coincidence!

(Although I don't have the official copy; I have a much older smashed-together one that includes no animation whatsoever for the two missing episodes, and has little narrated clips by Nicholas Courtney at their starts).

PATRICK TROUGHTON!! JAMIE!! ZOE!! (Okay, I have no idea who she is at all, is she at all memorable) CYBERMEN!! THE INTRODUCTION OF UNIT AND BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE-STEWART!!!!!

As a quibble, this is actually the second serial with Lethbridge-Stewart, since he was introduced in The Web of Fear. Sadly, the Web of Fear is mostly nonexistent. And yeah, Jamie is awesome. Zoe... is less awesome. Not my favorite 2 companion.

And it's sort of a shame that the Cybermen are totally spoiled, since it takes so long for them to be revealed.

Wait whut. Zoe's seen this before? Is this another backwards girl going forwards? Are we River Songing someone?!

For reasons that I'm not sure of but quite support, every companion the Second Doctor recruited wasn't from modern day Earth. Jamie was a highlander, Victoria was from the 1800s, and Zoe was from some poorly-defined time in the future. (I believe this is also meant to explain her strange fashion choices). So that's why she's seen the moon before. When they recruited her, she was a scientist on a space station.

Not that she ever uses her supposedly incredible astrophysics or whatever it was.

Granted he don't know it's Time Lord tech, but still.

THE DOCTOR THEN HANDS HIS TIME LORD TECHNOLOGY OVER! YOU KNOW, THE TIME LORD TECH THAT NEARLY DESTROYED THE UNIVERSE! THE TIME LORD TECH THAT CAN MAKE THE TARDIS DO TARDIS THINGS! Stupid Doctor is Stupid.

A more innocent time. Back then, other people had time machines, and Time Lord tech wasn't nearly as impressive-seeming. Remember, the reason the Doctor came looking for Professor Watkins was under the belief that an ordinary human scientist could help him fix those Time Lord circuits. Heck, the words "Time Lord" haven't even been spoken yet.

[CurlyKitGirl]

I know! Perhaps this time, because I'm on holiday and 'revising very hard for my final university exams' I'll be able to stick around for longer.

Woo!

I'm just watching that serial right now! What a weird coincidence!

(Although I don't have the official copy; I have a much older smashed-together one that includes no animation whatsoever for the two missing episodes, and has little narrated clips by Nicholas Courtney at their starts).

Good thing then that I'm doing part two right now then isn't it?
That unanimated version of yours does sound interesting though. 's'it good?

As a quibble, this is actually the second serial with Lethbridge-Stewart, since he was introduced in The Web of Fear. Sadly, the Web of Fear is mostly nonexistent. And yeah, Jamie is awesome. Zoe... is less awesome. Not my favorite 2 companion.

Eh. The DVD blurb said 'newly formed UNIT' and I wasn't aware he had ever been anything but the head of UNIT. That's the joy of blindness - blind runs that is - for you.
Jamie is indeed such a lovely boy.
As for Zoe. She whined, was forgotten about, played dress up and then disappeared. Hardly a sterling first impression (for me).

And it's sort of a shame that the Cybermen are totally spoiled, since it takes so long for them to be revealed.

I blame the DVD case. And the blurb.

For reasons that I'm not sure of but quite support, every companion the Second Doctor recruited wasn't from modern day Earth. Jamie was a highlander, Victoria was from the 1800s, and Zoe was from some poorly-defined time in the future. (I believe this is also meant to explain her strange fashion choices). So that's why she's seen the moon before. When they recruited her, she was a scientist on a space station.

Not that she ever uses her supposedly incredible astrophysics or whatever it was.

I wholly endorse Two's run then simply because there are no Present Day Earthers among them! This can only ever be a good thing and I demand more of it!

. . .

Wait. Wut.
You're saying that Zoe's from the future which is why she's seen the moon. The Moon that is in the sky right now? The Moon that has always been in the night sky as far as humankind has been concerned?
Or do you simply mean the dark side of the moon? Because I can only buy the latter.
And really? Zoe's meant to be another scientific genius! Zoe must have some hidden depths then because from what I've seen of her she's only barely more developed than Rose.

A more innocent time. Back then, other people had time machines, and Time Lord tech wasn't nearly as impressive-seeming. Remember, the reason the Doctor came looking for Professor Watkins was under the belief that an ordinary human scientist could help him fix those Time Lord circuits. Heck, the words "Time Lord" haven't even been spoken yet.

People still have Time Machines in Nu Who. The Daleks, River Song, that organisation what Jack pretended to be part of in season one, the Fat Blue Dude.
Wow. Really this story is that early in the run that Time Lords aren't even a thing yet? I'm in the early depths of canon here.
This is so awesome!

[Friv]

Good thing then that I'm doing part two right now then isn't it?
That unanimated version of yours does sound interesting though. 's'it good?

It is...

...

No. No it is not very good at all I'm afraid. Quite a lot of these reconstructions are floating around, and they are a complete, if slightly scratchy, audio of the episode, along with as many production stills as are available and as much closed-captioning for actions as the fans working on those ones were willing to work on.

This results in wildly varying quality of work, based on a combination of how much effort people were putting into it, along with how fast-paced the episodes were. If an episode included the Doctor banging on the TARDIS for ten or fifteen seconds, f'rex, that is a rather boring ten or fifteen seconds.

I rather quickly reached the point where if two-thirds of the serial aren't complete, I disregard the whole thing and move along. Of the ones I've seen, the Ice Warriors was particularly good, because the fans actually edited two lost episodes down into one to keep things moving briskly, whereas the Power of the Daleks was absurdly unwatchable.

I wholly endorse Two's run then simply because there are no Present Day Earthers among them! This can only ever be a good thing and I demand more of it!

Technically he started with a couple of present-day Earthers, but they were boring and recruited by the First Doctor and inserted by the network because they thought the show needed a couple of hip modern teens so I don't care about them.

. . .

Wait. Wut.
You're saying that Zoe's from the future which is why she's seen the moon. The Moon that is in the sky right now? The Moon that has always been in the night sky as far as humankind has been concerned?
Or do you simply mean the dark side of the moon? Because I can only buy the latter.
And really? Zoe's meant to be another scientific genius! Zoe must have some hidden depths then because from what I've seen of her she's only barely more developed than Rose.

While I have admittedly not seen a heck of a lot of her, due to all the lost episodes, I think she's more just a failure of a writing job.

People still have Time Machines in Nu Who. The Daleks, River Song, that organisation what Jack pretended to be part of in season one, the Fat Blue Dude.

True. I more meant that the Doctor being a time-traveling alien was a thing, but his time-traveling-alienness wasn't really any more special than the few other time travelers that he and his companions occasionally met.

Wow. Really this story is that early in the run that Time Lords aren't even a thing yet? I'm in the early depths of canon here.
This is so awesome!

I know, right? A single other Time Lord has been met, and the Doctor rather hilariously got super-angry at him for interfering with the societies he was interacting with, but no official word on their race or natures.

[CurlyKitGirl]

It is...

...

No. No it is not very good at all I'm afraid. Quite a lot of these reconstructions are floating around, and they are a complete, if slightly scratchy, audio of the episode, along with as many production stills as are available and as much closed-captioning for actions as the fans working on those ones were willing to work on.

This results in wildly varying quality of work, based on a combination of how much effort people were putting into it, along with how fast-paced the episodes were. If an episode included the Doctor banging on the TARDIS for ten or fifteen seconds, f'rex, that is a rather boring ten or fifteen seconds.

I rather quickly reached the point where if two-thirds of the serial aren't complete, I disregard the whole thing and move along. Of the ones I've seen, the Ice Warriors was particularly good, because the fans actually edited two lost episodes down into one to keep things moving briskly, whereas the Power of the Daleks was absurdly unwatchable.

So they're basically fanvids then, and the same rules that apply to them apply to reconstructions?
'kay.

Technically he started with a couple of present-day Earthers, but they were boring and recruited by the First Doctor and inserted by the network because they thought the show needed a couple of hip modern teens so I don't care about them.

I've already aired my beef about the Nu series regarding this topic. Repeatedly.
Probably so much that people are sick of hearing it.
So yeah, new things are awesome. I'm identifying so much with Jamie who's from five hundred odd years in the past rather than say . . . Rose. Or MtM. Or Mickey. Or Zoe.

While I have admittedly not seen a heck of a lot of her, due to all the lost episodes, I think she's more just a failure of a writing job.

Ugh. Writer failures are the worst.
Sometimes.
It all depends. Some writer failures accidentally become awesome.
Sadly, most are just . . .
I don't even need to finish it off.

True. I more meant that the Doctor being a time-traveling alien was a thing, but his time-traveling-alienness wasn't really any more special than the few other time travelers that he and his companions occasionally met.

So he's just one amongst the crowd rather than being the LORD OF ALL TIME AND DESCENDED FROM THOSE WHO INVENTED TIME!!11! yes?
I can dig that.

I know, right? A single other Time Lord has been met, and the Doctor rather hilariously got super-angry at him for interfering with the societies he was interacting with, but no official word on their race or natures.

Classic Who is going to be so awesome you guys.
Also, I buy the irony of that situation compared with the Nu Doctors, (Hi Tennant!) can't say much about Classic Doctors, but I'm guessing the Temporal/Prime Directive gets sunk fairly quickly.
Case in point: 'Genesis of the Daleks'.

[Timeras]

I know, right? A single other Time Lord has been met, and the Doctor rather hilariously got super-angry at him for interfering with the societies he was interacting with, but no official word on their race or natures.

He was angry at him for trying to change history (the serial is called "The Time Meddler"). That is something the Doctor usually avoids.

[Sunken Valley]

Okay the new companion. Can't comment on her acting talents cause I ain't seen them. But if I don't like her, it's probably gonna be Moffat's women writing skills (based on Amy (although Karen's stupid too) and what River's become).

What I can give is a back story prediction. Newspaper says she is A: going to be introduced in a special way and B: able to talk faster than Matt Smith.

Predictions! If any are correct on Dec 25, I win! Something...

Favourite Theory

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Whenever the Doctor picks up a companion, he's always the more experienced one. He tells the companion all about time travel and they worship him. Cept for this girl (call her Cami P Noon). She's heard all about the Doctor and tries to track him down and recruit him to help her stop something. Then the next 8 eps are a quest with the two of them.

A stretch but could work

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All those cracks in time could call up some new timelords.

Umm...Maybe?

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A spy sent by the Big Bad. Or a converted minion

Dear God, Moffat don't do this. Please Don't

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It's River. Don't ask me how, it just is. The cracks in time could retcon it.

All of these theories may fail because I don't know much about Romana or Turlough and their relationship with the Doctor.

[Androgeus]

Dear God, Moffat don't do this. Please Don't

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It's River. Don't ask me how, it just is. The cracks in time could retcon it.

Don't be silly she is obviously going to be

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The Rani. I'll tire of using this as my only theory one of these days

[Dr. Simon]

'The Invasion' part 1/8

Why did the TARDIS suddenly piece itself together from nothing?!

Pretty sure that it was something to do with being pulled into the "Land of Fiction" in the preceding story "The Mind Robber", to be honest.

Zoe is okay, but she doesn't get a lot to do in this serial (She's better in The War Games). I blame Kit Pedler, who never serves the female companions well. In Tenth Planet and The Moonbase all Polly gets to do is make coffee. In Tomb of the Cybermen, all Victoria gets to do is scream at a cybermat.

This is the only reconstructed story to use the cartoon-style effects, and they're largely successful, I think. But don't worry, more of the episodes are real so you'll get a better idea of Troughton's Doctor.

I quote a wise man who once said: "The Invasion – cybermen again, and again the excellent Kevin Stoney giving a role similar to Mavic Chen (see The Daleks Master Plan, Season Two) of a man playing his own dangerous game. This was probably also the last time that the cybermen felt like a real threat – after this their schemes become so ludicrously convoluted that they become a bit of a joke."

[Androgeus]

As always I have links to stuff, mainly a preview of series 7

[Dr. Simon]

Continuing my plan to post what I think to be the highlights of every season of Doctor Who, old and new.

For each series I choose 2 or 3 of what I consider to be the best stories, and a selection of also-rans. "Stories" may comprise any number of actual episodes (somewhere between 1-14, typically 4 or 6). Older Who is nearly always episodic, with NuWho most episodes are self-contained. Feel free to expand on my brief comments, agree, disagree etc. This is, after all, purely subjective.

First Doctor

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Season One (1963-1964)
Season Two (1964-1965)
Season Three (1965-1966)
Season Four (1966-1967)

Second Doctor

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Season Four (1966-1967)
Season Five (1967-1968)
Season Six (1968-1969)

Third Doctor

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Season Seven (1970)
Season Eight (1971)
Season Nine (1972)
Season Ten (1972-1973)
Season Eleven (1973-1974)

Fourth Doctor

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Season Twelve (1974-1975)
Season Thirteen (1975-1976)
Season Fourteen (1976-1977)
Season Fifteen (1977-1978)
Season Sixteen (1978-1979)
Season Seventeen (1979-1980)
Season Eighteen (1980-1981)

Fifth Doctor

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Season Nineteen (1981-1982)
Season Twenty (1983)
Season Twenty One (1984)
Season Twenty Two (1985)

Season Twenty Three (1986)
Sixth Doctor/Peri/Mel

This season is unusual in that it is technically all one story - Trial of a Time Lord parts 1-14, although broken up into four subsections. It borrows a concept from A Christmas Carol, with a story from the Sixth Doctor's past, present and future, plus a climactic story.

Partly because of its unusual nature I'm going to give comments on all four sub-stories rather than pick out recommendations. The other reason is that it is probably one of the weakest seasons and thus picking stand-out stories is hard. It's not the fault of Colin Baker or Nicola Bryant who, in their stories together, have formed a more mellow relationship. Some of the behind-the-scenes talent, too, have turned in excellent work elsewhere in Who. Possibly the show's uncertain future at this point in its history was causing morale problems, but it just feels like everyone is just phoning it in and all aspects - script, guest stars, sets, effects, direction - are weak at the same time. At its best, Who manages to transcend its effects budget with great scripts, or with artistic direction, or memorable guest stars, or interesting ideas and in all of these stories we don't get enough of these to outweigh the bad.

The Mysterious Planet – The series starts quite well, with a good opening panning effects shot. The characters of Sabolom Glitz and his sidekick Dibber are pure Robert Holmes, but the man who gave us The Ribos Operation and The Talons of Weng Chiang somehow manages to give us a tired plot full of extraneous and dull supporting characters. At this point the trial sections provide an interesting device.

Mindwarp – forget Brian Blessed essentially playing Prince Vultan, at least this one has the return of Sil, even if he doesn’t do much. Again, a bit too much pointless running back and forth, but there is a level of mystery about the Doctor’s actions which is never fully resolved – how much was him and how much was edited in the Matrix?

Terror of the Vervoids - aka Terror of the Vulvoids. Introduces the terrible Mel and spends most of its time bogged down in pointless subplots, with the vervoids only becoming remotely near terrifying in the last episode. As with much of this era, a potentially good idea (implacable plant aliens) ruined in execution.

The Ultimate Foe - much Matrix-based surrealism, and better than in The Deadly Assassin. Kind of one of the better segments, shame it has Mel.

[CoffeeIncluded]

I don't think this counts as spoilers because it's in the news and a press release.

So Amy and Rory's final episode is going to be shot in New York City. The weeping angels are involved.

What large, famous statue is in New York City?

[Das Platyvark]

I don't think this counts as spoilers because it's in the news and a press release.

So Amy and Rory's final episode is going to be shot in New York City. The weeping angels are involved.

What large, famous statue is in New York City?

I'm somewhere between near shock at how COMPLETELY FREAKING AWESOME that would be, and annoyance at how incredibly campy it could turn out–that is, crossing the line into obnoxiously bad territory.

[BRC]

I don't think this counts as spoilers because it's in the news and a press release.

So Amy and Rory's final episode is going to be shot in New York City. The weeping angels are involved.

What large, famous statue is in New York City?

Eh, I really, really doubt it. So Far the Angels have been pretty consistent in their appearance. Despite the montage of statues at the end of Blink, Angels have always been, well Angels. They've got a distinct size and appearance.

I'd be more worried about an Angel finding their way in front of a television camera broadcasting some big event, thus transmitting the image of the Angel to TV's all over the world, which causes them to turn into Angels.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Yeah, but it's still a fun guess. Hey, does anyone know when they'll be filming it?

[LokeyITP]

Nao actually.

So there's this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5iwoRA2Cas (first new season preview reel). Really like how the western themed parts are filmed.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Nao actually.

I mean, what specific date?

[Reverent-One]

As always I have links to stuff, mainly a preview of series 7

Ha! I heard Ben Browder (of Farscape and Stargate SG-1 fame) was going to be in it, and didn't recognize him at first in there.

[LokeyITP]

I mean, what specific date?

Ah, didn't note the location, but not much chance of being filmed on location in NYC (extreme $$ needed for that). But, never know :)

Also missed the bbc link made earlier to the same clip :( But, forgot to mention that hey, I've seen that cliff face a few times before, so there's that :)

[Sunfall]

So Amy and Rory's final episode is going to be shot in New York City. The weeping angels are involved.

What large, famous statue is in New York City?

Oooh, and they'd have to get the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man to fight her. Probably to the soundtrack of Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla.

Problem solved

[CoffeeIncluded]

Ah, didn't note the location, but not much chance of being filmed on location in NYC (extreme $$ needed for that). But, never know :)

They said they were shooting in the city. And if the Statue if Liberty is involved, then they'll be shooting downtown on the weekend.

[CurlyKitGirl]

I'm back snitches.

Koorly's Archive of Her Doctor Who Reviews:
Classic Who

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Second Doctor

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Series 6
'The Invasion' Part 1/8Part 2/8

Fourth Doctor

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Series 12
'Genesis of the Daleks' Part 1/6, Part 2/6

Nu Who

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Season 1 - retrospective

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Brief Whole Series Retrospective

Season 2 - retrospective

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Brief Whole Series Retrospective

Season 3 - blind bar Moffat

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Ep. 1: 'Smith and Jones' -missing.
Ep. 2: 'The Shakespeare Code'
Ep. 3: 'Gridlock'
Ep. 4: 'Daleks in Manhattan' (part 1/2)
Ep. 5: 'Evolution of the Daleks' (part 2/2)
Ep. 6: 'The Lazarus Experiment'
Ep. 7: '42'
Ep. 8: 'Human Nature' (part 1/2)
Ep. 9: 'The Family of Blood' (part 2/2)
Ep. 10: 'Blink'
Ep. 11: 'Utopia' (part 1/3)
Ep. 12: 'The Sound of the Drums' (part 2/3)
Ep. 13: 'The Last of the Time Lords' (part 3/3)

Children in Need 2007 episode: 'Time Crash'
2007 Christmas Episode: 'Voyage of the Damned'

Bits and Bobs About Season 3
Retrospective - to be written later
Why I Do Not Like Martha/Ten (This was written between my write ups of ep. 8 and ep 9)

Season Four blind bar Moffat

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Ep. 1: 'Partners in Crime'
Ep. 2: 'The Fires of Pompeii'
Ep. 3: 'Planet of the Ood'
Ep. 4: 'The Sontaran Stratagem' Part 1/2
Ep. 5: ‘The Poison Sky‘ Part 2/2
Ep. 6: ‘The Doctor‘s Daughter‘ Posted in two parts.
Ep. 7: 'The Unicorn and the Wasp'

Season 5 - blind bar Moffat's Angels

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Ep. 11: 'The Lodger'

Season 6

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To to things this series was split in two, as such eps. 8 - Christmas episode will be liveblogged, and the first seven will be written with me having seen them before.

Ep. 8: 'Let's Kill Hitler'
Ep. 9: 'Night Terrors'
Ep. 10: 'The Girl Who Waited'
Ep. 11: 'The God Complex'
Ep. 12: 'Closing Time'
Ep. 13: Missing

2011 Christmas Special: 'The Doctor, The Widow and the Wardrobe'

And now, to boldly go where many have gone before. [*cue TOS theme (Such a classic introduction)*]

'The Invasion' part 2/8

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Previously on 'The Invasion': Jamie was sassy, awesome and touchy-feely with the Doctor, the Doctor was a little bumbling, humble and very concerned over Jamie's safety, Zoe tried on some clothes, but was otherwise generally ignored, and I mourned the death of the Unknown Lorry Driver.
Coincidentally, there's a continuing chronicle concerning a clumsily concealed (Cyberman controlled) communistic cultist communications-focussed commune.

The bit about the real villains was spoiled for me by the pictures on the DVD case. C'est pas juste. That's actually a serious problem with Doctor Who episode titles and the Classic DVD cases/box sets if I'm honest. F'r'instance, I have a box set called The Sontaran Collection. No surprises there about who the villains of those four serials are. And then we have the 'X of the Daleks' serials . . . Come on BBC do some intentional misdirection and lie! Or be ambiguous!

And now, the thrilling second episode!

I’m really digging Two’s theme. Even with the Eyes of Devouring staring out at me from the opening credits. It’s trippy as Hell. Especially how the face melts in and out.

Oh my giggy aunts dudes and dudettes! Live action ‘The Invasion’! No more toonstructions. We have a quick recap of the very last scene - the one of the door opening and all. And. . . . I have to say that the Mysterious Doohickey is really impressive.

JAMIE! Look at you in your live action self. I admit I tried to get a screencap of Jamie looking like Jamie and the Doctor looking a little like Spock, but let’s just say that the BBC’s 1960s sci-fi budget didn’t extend to steady-cam. That, and forty-year-old tape is probably fairly degraded. I’ve seen student productions that have better cameraman-walking-backwards-to-film-a-scene shots. So our Two are a-walking down the street (singing doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy do) snapping their fingers and - well, no, but they’re still being stalked by the Car Dudes. You know, the ones who will inevitably turn out to work for UNIT.

Walking, walking, walking, the Doctor drags Jamie behind a tree and suddenly we get a dramatic zoom to show the audience that our Duo have noticed the car.

It's a Jaaaaag. A Jaguar mk 2 saloon to be precise. I can't believe I recognised the make by the grille shape.

The Doctor really does look a fair bit like Spock. Either Spock is a Time Lord, or Time Lords are Vulcans.

Anyway, our Duo notice they're being followed and scurry off - and Jamie has really nice legs too! I'm so happy he's in a kilt - being followed directly by the Jag.

But let's not worry about our soon-to-be-abducted Duo! We've got to see Zoe model first! ROSE! Why is flippin' Rose there?! It's Rose. It's ROSE! What is Rose doing in my Classic Who?! I think she's naked under that trenchcoat. Hussy.

Oooh. Now there's some legs. Miss Legs, you do not disappoint. And the way that skirt drapes is very nice. I foresee upskirt shots up ahead! Girlish chatter, girlish chatter, Zoe asks where the Duo are, Legs couldn't care less. But she does care about these circuit things Zoe's been nattering about.

Girl can't keep her stupid mouth shut can she? And now Miss Legs is thinking they travel in "a sort of electric car", and instead of nodding and shutting up Zoe says "[I]t's a bit more sophisticated than that". Tch. Why doesn't she just go ahead and say that she's from the future. And why does Zoe look like she's about thirteen?

Ha! Was right. Miss Legs does use herself as a model because she can't always afford one. Sweetie, go out on the streets and ask someone this simple question: "Hi, I'm an aspiring photographer and would like you to be my model. I'll pay you a few shillings for your time," Either way. When Miss Legs bends over her skirt rides up. A shot of her kickers isn't too far away I'm sure.

Or the romantic two girl relationship. They keep invading one another's space. It's probably a scandalous relationship too as Zoe certainly doesn't look over sixteen, and Miss Legs is what, twenty-four? About that.

So Zoe admits to being concerned for her Duo. "If there's trouble to be found the Doctor and Jamie [or any Companion really] can't miss it." Yeah. And you stay at home like a good little girl and play dress up. So following that line we must cut to an ironic situation! The Doctor and Jamie are running down a deserted alleyway in a deserted part of an industrial estate! Go irony!

Especially seeing as another duo in a car have cut off their only escape! How many duos are there going to be in this serial? And be tea dubs, Jamie again feels the need to touch or cling onto the Doctor in times of stress or surprise. Jamie also looks about nineteen or so to the Doctor's . . . late forties. Oh! And the Jag Duo is right behind them too!

The Doctor and Jamie resign themselves to the situation and promptly sit on the pavement (well, Jamie gets on his hands and knees for the Doctor) and begin doling out a pack of cards. I am more amused by this than I should be. It's the way the Doctor looks up at his . . . captors? . . . with an endearing grin as he offers to deal them in, then has his grin drop swiftly into a sulk upon seeing their (I'm assuming) disapproving faces.

One extremely swift cut later we're in a lab. You can tell because there's a dude with glasses and a white coat holding something electronic. Huh. Frollo's pulling an Alastair Darling here with his Suspiciously Dark Eyebrows. His eyes are also weird because one lid droops much more than the other. Anyway, Frollo's chastising the dude with the glasses because he has no idea whatsoever what the circuits are for.

(This episode hops around more than a frog on a hot tin roof. I'm roughly two minutes proper into the episode and we've had three or four scenes in that time frame. It's jarring going from the longer establishing scenes of Nu Who to Classic Who's serial format in this fashion.)

So Frollo with his oddly melted face (robot I swear) tells the Scientist to take his time identifying this piece of tech. "Take one hour". Wow. Frollo's satisfyingly bitchy. He looks and acts like a clichéd and cheesy Bond villain. It's awesome because he's not even hiding his dastardly villainy!

I bet he'll threaten Scientist/his family with Doom if he fails. I just bet. Aaawwww. We jsut had Scientist flee the room in fear instead. Curses. So Frollo summons Punchy McPuncher to the office. In the most deliciously RP'd hammy villain voice. It's like he's savouring every word.

Hehe. The little mirrors in a Piece of Art are actually telly screens. Nifty. Also: fake scenery outside the window is fake. It's a matte painting. A bad one. Frollo demands that images of our Duo are sent up to him. And I know this is really mean sounding, but Frollo's face looks a bit like he's had a stroke. I'm sorry, he just does.

Back with the Girly Duo. They're listening to Teddy Bear's Picnic on the gramophone. A piece of tech which, I might remind you, had been around for over sixty years by the broadcast date, although I'm not sure when it became cheap enough to be readily available in most homes.

Ah. Miss Legs bought it "off a barrow in Portobello Road". Street where the riches of ages are stowed, anything and everything a chap can unload is sold off the barrow in Portobello Road.

Crikey O'Reilly. Zoe's skirt rides up a lot when she's sitting. I mean, you can tell she's in tights, but she's lucky if the skirt's covering two inches of her thighs! Lucky for her she's got her legs clamped together otherwise she'd be flashing the crew who are probably hovering right in front of her off-camera.

Oh Gods. This is another "[y]ou're still worried about your two friends, aren't you?" scenes. I. Get. It. Zoe's a good little girl (then again she really might be a little girl) and is waiting worriedly for the men to come back. Obviously Miss Legs, being the elder of the pair is going to suggest they go and find them. Beats listening to nursery rhymes on the gramophone at any rate.

I think Zoe's a spykick. She has a feeling something's happened to them. That or it's just "intuition". Really?! A woman? With intuition? Could it be . . . women's intuition?! By God, summon the cavalry, call the police and launch an immediate attack on Not-Microsoft!

I shouldn't really be mocking this so much. The show's only been going five years, so they can't really be too into the lampshading yet, and it is the 1960s (real life and in-universe), and maybe Zoe'll get to kick some butt later on, but in the first half hour of this serial (this three hour long serial) all she's done is: play dress up, gossip, have tea, and have a feeling. Zoe, grow some testicles and do something soon. You're boring.

Even baby!Amy did things. Like cook to help the Dorktor get over his regeneration trauma. And be sassy. And adorable. And cute. And helped save the Doctor and older!Amy (okay, that was AU!baby!Amy, but it still counts).

It's MISS LEGS who has to say "We'll go right out after them"! Miss Legs who, I remind you, has only known our Duo for maybe ten minutes. I honestly believe Miss Legs thinks she's babysitting. She's even leaving a note in case Zoe's daddies come back and find them gone.

So now we're on an Army base somewhere, although the music thinks it's a Naval base. We're at UNIT headquarters doods! At least, we'd better be! Maybe not, because now the Jag is getting on a plane. Ah, the plane is a Secret Base of some sort. Also, I think Jamie shaves his legs.

J: "Would you mind telling us what all this is about?"
Car Dude: "You'll find out, sir."
J: "Sir?"

It's the Brigadier! Hi Nicholas Courtney!

. . .

Aaaawwwwwww. A moment of silence.

LOOK AT THAT PORNSTACHE! (He also looks a little like that God of Music, Freddie Mercury) And it turns out that Car Dude is Benton. You know, my mum mentioned a Benton as an Assistant at one point. This Benton that Benton, or is it a case of Names the Same?

Who cares? It's the Brig! Hi!

The fudge is a NAAFI break? To the internet! I really should have guessed, it's a tea break. Oh! The Brig has met this version of the Doctor before, I am intrigued. Turns out the Brig had a career pre-UNIT. I don't know why the Doctor has a Mad Hatter face on though. We're also informed that the Brig was recently promoted to being the Brig. Coolios.

Ha! I'm getting clues as to where the Brig appeared pre-Brig status. In a serial with yetis in the Underground?! Do want. And Jamie's last name is McCrimmon. Lovely infodump this. Really is. And that was four years ago according to the Brig, but probably less time for the Doctor and Jamie. I like this, that the Brig gets to hang out with nearly all the Doctors, and it also means that any DOctor could show up and the Brig would recognise him as the Doctor because this isn't the first time the Brig met the Doctor in this incarnation.

Heh. J: "That long. It only seems like a couple of weeks ago doesn't it?" Probably was Jamie. Probably was.

HERESY! My subtitles call the TARDIS the Tardis. I must write immediately to the Beeb and complain. Also, the Brig has the Doctor right when he calls the Doctor's antics "nonsense". They are.

Seriously. Who is Mr. Travers. Is he a reoccurring character? Because I'm not looking any of this up you know. Huh. The Brig, despite having met Yetis doesn't really seem to get the TARDIS. How . . . bizarre. But at least the Brig admits that he's "not quite so much of a sceptic as I was since that little escapade".

Hee! Lampshading the melodramatic nature of their kidnapping. Awesome. And even more casual and adorable touching between Jamie and the Doctor. I am supporting this ship just as hard as I ship Amy/Rory and Ten/Simm!Master. And Sherlock/John.

B: "Oh, and Sgt. Walters [. . . ] Lay on some tea would you?" [Which is more iconic: tea or Doctor Who?] "You'd like some tea would you Doctor?" Oh would he ever! It'll save him from regeneration trauma in eight regenerations you know.

Cue some exposition. Exposition in which we find out that UNIT stands for United Nations Intelligence Taskforce. At least until Nu Who when it's changed to something else because (apparently) the UN protested. UNIT investigates people but "we don't actually arrest [them]".

The Brig explains they've been keeping Microsoft HQ under surveillance and when our Duo's photos popped up he recognised them and hauled them in for a nice cup of tea and a chat about old times. Oh, and probably to enlist their help in something.

THe something being people who go into the building, but never coming out.

Cut to the Girly Duo walking into the building. Why is Zoe still wearing her boa? And Miss Legs looks a little like Patsy. They do like showing some leg doing they?

So cue another humorous computer scene. Z: "Looks like a robot reception." Foreshadowing! And I bet you a pound that the people who don't come out of this building are assimilated into Cybermen.

Zoe's RP accent become even more plummy and she pulls out some officious sounding commands. Me, I'm distracted by the impossibly long lashes again. I thought it was just a quirk of the animation style, but Zoe's lashes really are that long! Naturally, Zoe being some kind of computer genius she gets the computer to work for her.

Well, I'm assuming so as we just cut to Frollo in his office looking at a still shot from last episodephoto of our Duo. There's some nice contemplative piano music playing as Frollo swivels his villain chair around and goes to push the villain button to show us his villain doohickey.

Hum. It's some sort of communication device. Got to admit it, Star Trek's communicators were smaller than this. Is this voice juust the computer voice or a Cyberman voice? Because it doesn't sound like the Cybermen from Nu Who. It's kind of warbly and high pitched.

And I have yet to see Frollo blink. He's got to be an alien. Humans need to blink. So Frollo wonders how these our Duo are "hostile" and drops the fact that the Cybermen are actually on Earth.

The Cyberman (because let's face it, we all know who they are) says that they haven't, but the humans have been on Planet Fourteen. And I am coloured intrigued. I'm assuming that Planet Fourteen is where the Cybermen come from. Even though they're meant to come from Mondas. Maybe the name hadn't been settled at this point in canon.

Frollo inquiries about why the Duo must be destroyed are ignored and Frollo says he'll "deal with them". The Cyberman informs Frollo that the invasion will begin soon. C: "Nothing must be allowed to interrupt them."

F: "Don't worry. Nothing will." Oh, that matte painting is so amusing in its badness. Look at it. Frollo closes his secret compartment (s-l-o-w-l-y) to the agonising wailing of an alert.

It's a camera showing our Girl Duo commanding the roboceptionist! Oh noes! They're going to get captured and tied up aren't they?

Oh. Zoe's not logicking the computer into working. She's insulting it. Z: "Now listen to me you stupid, primitive machine. I asked a perfectly simple question and I expect an answer!"
R: "No information available."
Zoe, being the vindictive . . .teenager? . . . decides to be mean and give the computer "a little problem in ALGOL" whatever that means. Ah, "[i]t's a sort of language you talk to computers in". She's going to pull a Kirk and talk the computer to death isn't she?

Ask it computer pi to the last digit? Divide by zero? Something like that right?

Huh. ALGOL is a real thing.

You can use it to talk computers to death all right. And by 'talk it to death' I mean 'set its internal circuitry on fire'. And then explode.

They do realise this is vandalism and destruction of private company don't they? And that this computer probably cost hundreds of thousands of pounds.

Frollo is amused. I think. His face is hard to read. And he contacts Punchy McPuncherton. Oooh, that face is quite creepy actually.

It's all pervy when he says "Two young girls. Reception. bring them to me." I half expected him to say something genuinely skeevy afterwards. Aaaah! Perv face!

And now reception suddenly has a small chesterfield in it. Miss Legs, having brains and actually being an adult (I think) suggests that loitering around gloating about their vandalism at the scene of the crime is a little stupid and that they should run. They are subsequently caught by 'policemen' in fake police gear.

Cut to UNIT. The Brig is talking about a Gordon Jones, a Lecturer in Physics from That Other Place: Cambridge. Specifically, Churchill College, which was only eight years old at the time this was aired.Naturally, the dude, being a Physics Professor has glasses.

And then a picture of a dude from Sandhurst. One of my cousin's training there to be a Captain. Billy Rutildge (worked at the MoD doncherknow) and Gordon Jones were among those who entered Microsoft HQ and never came out.

I WONDER WHY!

Oh right. Physics = science! MoD = knows where all the weapons are kept! Duh.

Oh my mistake. B: "Most of them came out again, but there was something definitely odd about them when they did." Legilimency? Klingon Mindsifter? Normal clones? Auton-clones? Slime-clones? Cylons? Replicants? Dalek controlled? Cybercontrolled? Robot clones?

When asked to expand upon what he meant by 'odd' the Brig says Billy "was quite co-operative about my investigations of Vaughn initially, but after he'd been to the IE building, he'd started to get a bit sticky about it [must. resist. making. crude. joke.]."

Hey. Called it! LD from last episode was a UNIT operative. Poor LD. Jamie tells the Brig that LD was worried about the motorbike cops following him, but the Doctor says dismissively that he's probably all right. He's far more interested in the Brig's story than LD's fate.

Time for an infodump about Microsoft! Head: Tobias Vaughn. (Jamie shows off his teeny radio, D: "Put it away") Microsoft controls "practically all of the major computer lines." Micromonolithic circuit design? Don't think that's real. Turns out it kind of is. And they've been undercutting other companies.

The Brig's interest in this is that some things are off about him. Mostly that people keep disappearing around him. The Doctor wants to search the building, but UNITs' powers aren't strong enough to do that because Frollo's got too many top people allied with him. It's a case of not being able to do anything without reasonable proof.

So the Brig, being a sneaky devil, basically enlisted Jamie and the Doctor to do the dirty work to find out Frollo's genocidal lusting-after-gypsy-dancer ways in order to provide them enough evidence to warrant a full search of the building. The Brig is awesome.

He even gives the Doctor a TM-45 "should [they] get into any trouble". Ah. A TM-45 is a dinky radio transceiver. Fifty mile range.

Looks a bit like the sonic screwdriver too.

B: "Call me any time. I'm usually available." Oh I bet you are. I bet you are.

And now they're back in Londinium at the Watkins' place. And the door magically opens! I mean, how else are they going to find the note telling them they've gone off to be gagged and bound - I mean, gone off to find them. N'aaawwww, Jamie and the Doctor are eating sandwiches together. It's sweet.

Then Jamie gets out the Dinky Radio to listen to music, the Doctor then complains about the music. Cue a lover's quarrel and more gratuitous touching. These two cannot keep their hands off each other.

The Doctor wins this little tiff and declares the Dinky Radio to be "an interesting little piece" and has a close look at its insides. I . . . I will transcribe the audio during the time the Doctor takes the radio to then.

J: "Hey!"
D: "All right, all right."
J: "Don't break it."
D: "All right! I just want to have a look at it, that's all. Oh yes. It's an interesting little piece . . . "

Pardon me, but even the dialogue is a little camp. I wonder if the Doctor ever really got to have a look at Jamie's piece.

So it turns out there's a micromonolithic circuit in the radio. Yeah, the Brig did mention they do that. And a micromonolithic circuit is "a very complex circuit in miniature". The Doctor finds its existence in the radio odd because it has nothing to do with the radio itself, it's just affixed to the back plate.

Mind control. I knew it.

Jamie really is loving his Dinky Radio. J: "Oh Doctor, just put it back together again". So while the Doctor does that Jamie goes off note hunting. Sadly right next to the poster of ROSE in her trenchcoat. You just know she's wearing this underneath.

Hang on a mo'. Whenever Miss Legs has to write something important down she uses the wall. Come on Jamie. To the wall wit' ye! Well, I tried telling him, but Jamie only listens to the Doctor. So, it's off to the wall with all of us. They find out what we already know, and I admire Jamie's profile shot. He has a very nice nose.

Back in Frollo's office, he's telling the Girls off for what their friends did. I'm a little distracted though by the fake police. The man in the middle looks like he's been gagged by his chinstrap! Oh, and the Girls are told off for what they did too.

Frollo keeps looking inexplicably more and more like a malevolent vicar. He's leering at Miss Legs while saying "You're concerned about your uncle aren't you?" I'm expecting for his next line to be 'And if you ever want to see him again Miss Watkins, you will accompany me to the bedroom where you will give yourself entirely to me'. He looks like he'd do it too.

He assures Miss legs that her uncle is alive, if "uncooperative", and I'm still awaiting the pervy blackmail. Ah, here it comes. "Your visit is most opportune", for I am feeling horny and you are wearing a short skirt.

F: "I think you can be very useful to me." Okay. I was joking about there actually being blackmail rape in Doctor Who you know.

ML: "Me, but how?"

F: "Your uncle needs to be 'persuaded' to continue his work for me." See?! I so told you guys he'd go the blackmail kidnap/rape angle.

ML: "But I can't do anything about that." Miss Legs! You are a female! Young, nubile, blonde. Related to a scientist who does not want to do dastardly science stuff for an obvious villain. You are in said dastardly villain's office. You have been kidnapped by said dastardly villain. Follow the dots you dumb bimbo. If whatever his name is doesn't do as he's told you will suffer the consequences.

Idiot.

And here come some more uncomfortable things. Specifically, "Packer [that's Punchy McPuncyface], I'd like you to take care of these two young ladies, please." Punchy then makes an uncomfortable leery face. Also, how come, when the fake police are 'dragging' the Girls off it looks like Zoe's dragging the fake police with her.

I have yet to see Frollo blink.

Jamie is still in his kilt and our Boys are once again breaking into the Microsoft building again. This time they're going in the back! Well, actually they're loitering off to the side and are being smart. If the Brig's men are spying on this place they'd know if our Girls went in.

D: "What a splendid little toy this [their little radio transceiver] is, Jamie"

J: "Aye, but it doesn't play tunes like mine."

Now. I have a dirty mind. I think everyone's gathered this by now. But the Doctor is fondling a long, cylindrical object in his hands, admiring it while Jamie boasts about his one. (I'm assuming by 'little toy' he means the radio) One or the other is innocent enough, but the dialogue and the scene together . . . someone involved in the production must ship Jamie/Two. Look at all the homoerotic subtext I've mentioned in two episodes alone. It's not Master/Doctor levels yet. But we're getting there. Slowly and adorably.

UNIT confirms that they've seen our Girls enter the building, and they're "[a]bout nineteen or so." Well, I'd peg Miss Legs at twenty-three or four myself and Zoe a lot younger than nineteen. Then again, I'm an 'adult' and can pass for thirteen or so if I plait my hair so. There's a mildly awkward (for now times) description with one of them being called 'dark' and another 'fair'.

Me, I'm more interested in the bickering going on between the Doctor and Jamie. It's adorable. It even makes Sgt. Probably-Walters look taken aback, although that's probably because they're arguing over a secure channel about what to do next.

Well, when I say argue, it's more a case of the impetuous Jamie urging the Doctor onwards into the building and the Doctor essentially saying 'in a moment Jamie, let me finish getting ready first'. Anyway, they're "going to try and get into the building and try and find them". This Doctor is very hesitant isn't he? Lots of voiced pauses (that's umming and ahing), lots of 'try's and the like.

Possibly Sgt Benton asks the Brig if they should be allowed to go into the building alone, "I mean, they don't exactly sound like professionals to me".

B: "Don't underestimate them Jimmy. They may look like amateurs, but that man has an incredible knack of being one jump ahead of everyone." Or ten if you're Seven. "If there is a safe way into that place, he'll be the one to find it." Well. The Doctor's found that the Microsoft building backs onto a poorly secured railway line. The Brig was right.

With the Science Guy - possibly Miss. Legs' uncle - he tells Frollo that the circuits don't make sense. They're plastic of some sort, not metal and the connections are completely illogical.

Frollo is standing in front of the Obviously Incredibly Fake London backdrop (I think it's meant to be somewhere near Waterloo Bridge, possibly on the Victoria Embankment, perhaps near the Temple tube station. I'm not really sure as I've been to London a grand total of three times. And once was just to change trains. Any ideas?) Basically, Frollo admits that "[t]his strange Doctor intrigues me more and more". Sorry, but you're going to have to get through Jamie first.

Science Dude offers to do more tests,but Frollo's certain he know the answer. After all, he knows the Doctor has been on alien planets. After the Incredibly. Slow. Opening. Of the. Secret. Door he asks for more data on the Doctor. The Cybermen refuse to answer, and Frollo says he needs to know. Cybervoice: "You will obey."

F: "YOU FORGET I CONTROL THE OPERATION FROM EARTH!" Complete with zoom in (he still hasn't blinked by the way) "Unless that's clearly understood, our partnership will cease. Tell that to your leader." I like this guy. As creepy as he is, he's damn cool. Sure, he's going to die because you don't cross the Cybermen, but he's still awesome for even thinking to try it.

I mean, he's communicating with super-advanced alien cyborgs from outside space who wish to conquer Earth, and they probably gave him all the tech that made Microsoft what it is today, but he still has the balls to try and dictate their actions to them.

Cybervoice: "It has been agreed." He won too. I like this guy. He won. Yeah, small battle, probably wasn't worth the Cyberfleet having to find a new partner, but he called their bluff and won.

And then the Cybervoice trolls him.

C: "He has a machine."

F: "What sort of machine?"

C: "We have no more information. But he must be destroyed. The invasion must succeed."

F: "It will."

I giggled. That is the worst expository scene ever in the best way imaginable. The only thing less expository than that would be "The Doctor is male" or "The Doctor is now on Earth". This is genius trolling.

Cut to a corridor somewhere. Some dude is carrying something bigger than he is, yet is inexplicably light. Because it's a Doctor Who prop from the 1960s and is probably made of polystyrene and cardboard. Sounds like polystyrene too.

And it's a plot point! The Doctor pointed it how freaky it was one dude was able to lift it. Jamie suggests quite logically that it could be empty, but our Boys can't lift it at all. Again, the Doctor calls something associated with Microsoft "distinctly odd", and the Boys have to go hide around a corner then because Superman (hey, Jamie called him it, not me) is coming back with another crate.

You know. Those crates are suspciously human-sized.

Yet another alarm goes off in Frollo's office where Puncy McPuncherton informs Frollo that the security eye picked our Boys up at the warehouse. Which is "rather unfortunate for them" for some reason. Frollo declines to elucidate. He only says not to "frighten" them off, but that they'll be "flush[ed] out" by tightening security a wee bit.

And fortunately for our Girls, Punchy McPuncherton hasn't "dealt" with them yet, although he "was about to when this new alert happened." Thank Heaven for small mercies eh Girls?

Even more fortunately for them they're being taken to the warehouse area, so they're not going to be left alone with Punchy McPuncherton any more.

Frollo still hasn't blinked.

Back at the warehouse our Boys are sneaking around a "maze" of corridors. They hear the girls screaming and I was right, they#re going to be coffinised and stored. Leaving the VErY OBVIOUS FEATHER BOA HANGING OUTSIDE THE COFFIN SHAPED CRATE.

Jamie, being awesome and more than a little impetuous jumps Punchy, leading for him to scream for the guards. Our Boys leg it. And it's getting very close to the end of the episode so I'm wondering exactly when I'll be getting the end credit scream. Still hasn't happened yet you know.

They run around a corner, run back toward the camera and are cornered by the fake police. P: "Like rats in a trap!"

And cue the scream!

Preview thoughts: No preview this time around.

Best Moment: This is quite tricky. For historical value: meeting the Brig for the first time ever. For personal enjoyment it's any time Jamie and the Doctor are alone together and get comfortable with one another or bicker or do both.

But I have to say that Frollo standing up to the entire Cyberfleet (via 'telephone' is pretty badass and just won the episode. He risked it all just to get more information from the Cybermen and to prove to them that he's on an equal footing with them and will be treated as such as much as possible.

Worst Moment: Girls have picnics while the menfolk spy.

Best Special Effect: It's that communications device again.

Worst Special Effect: the Obviousl Fake London Backdrop.

Best Actor: Patrick Troughton, Franz Hines (Jamie) and Nicholas Courtney and whoever plays Tobias Vaughn. I like all of them equally and their characters and personalities are so real to me already.

Worst Actor: Miss Legs. She has legs, likes tea and modelling and has a bit more initiative than Zoe. And she writes on walls because walss stick around. End of. Zoe's almost as bad.

Most Punchable Character: Zoe and Miss Legs! Also Punchy McPuncherton and Frollo for being really pervy.

Death Count: None.

Kink of the Episode: Short skirts and miles of legs on Jamie, Miss Legs and Zoe.

Thoughts overall?
It's a nice steady pace, a little choppy at times when it cuts rapidly from one group to another. The exposition is nicely handled by way of a mission debrief, and that in itself introduces us not only to a new concept (UNIT) but also brings back the Brig as the Brig (I'm assuming that in whatever serial he was first in he was a fan favourite and a real stand out cast member) to serve as possible back up/cannon fodder/exposition and so on.

The actual deal with the aliens is very well handled and is still really interesting despite the fact we all know they're Cybermen because all we know right now (in-story) is that there's going to be an invasion (but we guessed that from the title of the serial, so it's no surprise), Frollo's in on it in a big way, people are being brainwashed by said aliens and . . .that's about it.

It's pretty suspenseful.

And even the effects are pretty good all things considered. Well, aside from the Obviously Fake London Backdrop. But that's so laughably hilarious I can't help but think that they started showing more and more obvious shots (and longer ones) in front of it in a tongue-in-cheek joke.

You know, 'yeah, our budget is less than what you give your children to go buy sweeties with, but you love this show for the drama, plot and characters, you're not even going to care about our crappy scenery'. Frankly, they're right too.

Yes, it most likely wasn't deliberate and they were making the best of what they got (which was crap) but frankly I think their sets and location shots were pretty damn good all things considering.

Now I want to talk about the voices. Jamie's accent is Scottish and adorable. And nearly all the others have that marvellous plummy RP. It's fantastic. I could listen to them talk all day - well not Zoe, her voice is a bit too nasally for me - but I think the RP adds to the charm. Yes, it probably dates the piece a little as very few people use such a distinct RP (and no, it's not technically an accent, it has to be taught (thank you compulsory Spoken Lang A Level paper and optional uni paper)), but it also makes it timeless.

Again, I can't really say much as I'm only a quarter of the way through the episode, but it's been a very good quarter so far.

By the way.
To the person or people who guessed correctly as to which episode I was reviewing: hurry up and pick which episode I'm doing next.
Just. Don't make it a Rose one. Please?
That's not going to work is it?

[Mercenary Pen]

And to the person or people who correctly guessed which episode I was reviewing next: when you’ve chosen which episode/serial you wish me to review post it here.
Just. Please don’t pick a Rose one. Please?
That’s not going to work is it?

Actually, it will. I believe I get the choice, so your next mission will be Remembrance of the Daleks (because Ace has to be better than Rose).

[CurlyKitGirl]

Actually, it will. I believe I get the choice, so your next mission will be Remembrance of the Daleks (because Ace has to be better than Rose).

Anyone is better than Rose! I'd rather watch Zoe and Miss Legs play dress up for an hour than a Rose episode. Okay, that's very hyperbolic, but the sentiment stands!
And at least watching Zoe and Miss Legs play dress up could lead to some form of lesyay.

[Androgeus]

Anyone is better than Rose!

Mel? I've watched one episode with her in, and she didn't seem very good.
I could say Peri is also on this list but her attitude amuses me, about 15 minutes in to any story she wants to return to the TARDIS.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Mel? I've watched one episode with her in, and she didn't seem very good.
I could say Peri is also on this list but her attitude amuses me, about 15 minutes in to any story she wants to return to the TARDIS.

Long-term Assistants/Companions Curly Has Met So Far (No particular order):
Rose
Mickey/Rickey
Martha
Cpt. Jack Harkness
Donna
Amy
Rory
River Song (ish. Does she even count as a Companion?)
K9
Sarah Jane Smith
Harry Something
Jamie
Zoe
The Brig
The Master
The TARDIS

And technically Ace. Because I saw . . . I think it was 'Remembrance of the Daleks' at the Oxford UKitP mini-meetup. It was the serial where Ace beats up a Dalek with a baseball bat.

[Dr. Simon]

Harry Something

Says it all really, poor old Harry! (Ian Marter who played him did go on to write a substantial number of the novelisations, though).

Definitely Mel as Worst Companion Ever. Even if you're not fond of Billie Piper, Rose comes nowhere near in terms of badness. It doesn't help that the stories she appears in are pretty weak as well, but it's really Bonnie Langford's "eyes, teeth and jazz-hands" stage school "acting" that does it for me. She might have been acceptable as Violet-Elizabeth Bott when she was a kid, but ... no. Just no.

Dorothea "Dodo" Caplet (from the Hartnell period) is a bit of a dud too, mainly because the series producers couldn't decide if she was supposed to have a regional accent or not, so she veers from Cheery Cockerney to Manc to RP within a single episode. Bit like watching Frasier.