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  1. - Top - End - #31
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Zmflavius's Avatar

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    Quote Originally Posted by Cybertoy00 View Post
    Here's a few.
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    the Empress of Blood is just faking her stupidity.
    Too plausible.
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  2. - Top - End - #32
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Whiffet's Avatar

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    Tarquin is from the future. Specifically, he is Elan/Nale from the future; they were the same person instead of twins in that timeline. You see, he realized his father was just a version of himself from yet another timeline, so he went back in time to find his mother and create a stable time loop. However, time travel doesn't work in ways that make sense in the OOTS-verse, so instead of a stable time loop he split his new-timeline self into two people.
    Quote Originally Posted by Brother Oni View Post
    Well you've got two options - you can either wait for life to throw you a bone, or you can make your own by tearing it out of Life's quivering body, with your bare teeth and nails in a frenzied bloodied act of cannibalism.

  3. - Top - End - #33
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    All of the Tarquin and Girard theories seem to involve something really disturbing.

  4. - Top - End - #34
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PirateCaptain

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    I love threads like this :)
    Here is my little contribution:
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    Girard isn't Elan and Haley's son or father, he is them both, joined together by some mysterious Snarl's trick, and combined into one person. They/he didn't exactly travelled through time, but since in OotSverse timeline is circular they/he lived so long, that they/he met the Scribbles when the history was repeating itself. They/he secretly married that nice widower Soon, but after the adventure they argued about colour of curtains in their new kitchen, and that's when the whole grudge between them started, and that's why Girard swore to never believe Soon's promises ever again.
    Kraagor wasn't exactly killed by the Snarl, his soul was simply extracted from his body and was sucked to Snarl's realm, where he taught Snarl how to drink beer, so now Snarl is just a nice puppy, which created a whole new planet for his new buddy, and that planet is the happiest place in the multiverse.
    Also Mr. Scruffy and Blackwing are twins.

  5. - Top - End - #35
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Daemon

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    Here's mine!
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    The Goblin Teenagers, The Flumphs, The Two Displacer Beasts, The Dirt Farmers, The two Lizardfolk who rezzed the Oracle and The Shadow Dancer and his Dwarf buddy are being led by the Teleporting Azurite Wizard in an attempt to take over the world by manipulating the plot. When the Oracle said "say hi to your boss for me" he meant the Wizard. The Goblin teenagers are spying on every "side" taking advantage of the fact that they are dead and ghosts. The Wizard, The Shadow Dancer and one of The Displacer Beasts are secretly the IFCC. They were able to perform the splice using the love which Rich has for the dirt farmers to channel their powers. The two Lizardfolk are secretly the lizardfolk ambassador in the EoB. They intend to talk to the Empress and tell her that Belkar is a gold dragon so that she can meet with the other displacer beast to kill him. The Dwarf has been designated with making the explosions the gates make extra big. The Dirt Farmers are secretly members of the Azurite resistance trying to recruit team Peregrine (who also do not have names) to the cause. And the Flumphs. Fall manipulation. They "won't be there" when Belkar escapes the Empresses jaws.
    We're all in the Monster Manual somewhere. My entry is between Howler and Hydra.

    Unresolved Plot Point Collection Thread- For OOTS
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    Quote Originally Posted by MoonCat View Post
    It's nice to see someone saying it isn't for once, the forum IQ did just go up. Please have a cookie Sunken Valley.
    Quote Originally Posted by Terry576 View Post
    I thought Sunken Valley eloquently covered the points I wanted to make.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Giant View Post
    Yes, exactly.

  6. - Top - End - #36
    Troll in the Playground
     
    BlueKnightGuy

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    Quote Originally Posted by Darth Hunterix View Post
    I love threads like this :)
    Here is my little contribution:
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    Girard isn't Elan and Haley's son or father, he is them both, joined together by some mysterious Snarl's trick, and combined into one person. They/he didn't exactly travelled through time, but since in OotSverse timeline is circular they/he lived so long, that they/he met the Scribbles when the history was repeating itself. They/he secretly married that nice widower Soon, but after the adventure they argued about colour of curtains in their new kitchen, and that's when the whole grudge between them started, and that's why Girard swore to never believe Soon's promises ever again.
    Kraagor wasn't exactly killed by the Snarl, his soul was simply extracted from his body and was sucked to Snarl's realm, where he taught Snarl how to drink beer, so now Snarl is just a nice puppy, which created a whole new planet for his new buddy, and that planet is the happiest place in the multiverse.
    Also Mr. Scruffy and Blackwing are twins.
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    Or even better, Girard--being Haley and Elan--hates Soon because they know that Miko is really just his reincarnation!

  7. - Top - End - #37
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PirateCaptain

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    Quote Originally Posted by VanBuren View Post
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    Or even better, Girard--being Haley and Elan--hates Soon because they know that Miko is really just his reincarnation!
    Oh no, my good sir!
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    Thanks to the Belt of Changing Gender Miko is their daughter!

  8. - Top - End - #38
    Troll in the Playground
     
    BlueKnightGuy

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    Quote Originally Posted by Darth Hunterix View Post
    Oh no, my good sir!
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    Thanks to the Belt of Changing Gender Miko is their daughter!
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    And when you dispel that, who do you get?

    Roy. Who was actually adopted by Eugene afterwards. It was all very hush-hush.

  9. - Top - End - #39
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    Ron Miel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    Quote Originally Posted by ORione View Post
    This is my favorite crazy OotS theory. I didn't make it up, nor do I believe it:
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    Girard is Haley and Elan's time-traveling son..
    That's my favorite too. And, tying in with that ...

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    Baron Pineapple is a time travelling Belkar who finally figured out a way to make pineapples explode on impact.

    He lives to a ripe old age, eventually dying of natural causes at the end of the current year, as prophesied by the Oracle.
    .
    -.____________________
    ./___________________()-------Ron Miel
    |...___________________--------sits down
    |..| |_________________()-------and starts
    |..|/__________________--------singing
    | ___________________()-------about gold

    .

  10. - Top - End - #40
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    Tre of the Wood's Avatar

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    Quote Originally Posted by ORione View Post
    Is that a challenge?
    Challenge Accepted.
    New theory:
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    The Snarl is the mother.

    In all seriousness, though, I think that
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    Barney's sister is going to be the mother.
    Fanclubs: Woooooooo! I'm invisible! ; )
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    Lepreachaun suit provider of the Thog fan club.

    Cheif Tuna Maker of the Mr. Scruffy fan club

    Go Salvatore!
    1st edition = good edition.
    Thanks to thecrimsonmage for the great avatar of my D&D character, Tre of the Wood, and to Sneak for my old Avvie!
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  11. - Top - End - #41
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    Quote Originally Posted by VanBuren View Post
    They were from the first world, which means they obviously didn't count for some arbitrary reason I haven't thought of yet.
    How about Soon's wife?

  12. - Top - End - #42
    Troll in the Playground
     
    BlueKnightGuy

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    Quote Originally Posted by Tebryn View Post
    How about Soon's wife?
    Already been covered, once by me and once by another poster. Pick your favorite excuse asspull reason.

  13. - Top - End - #43
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PirateCaptain

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    Soon's wife had an affair with The Snarl, and all that rift thing is just a cover story, so they could live together.

  14. - Top - End - #44
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    Soon's wife had an affair with The Snarl, and all that rift thing is just a cover story, so they could live together.
    What possible could the Snarl offer to a pseudojapanese wom....? Oh, yeah, tentacles .
    ""Jeez, this dress! i look like a dominatrix""
    (self-loathing): ""Actually , you look like a sorceress or something""
    ""Hey, no need to get cruel""

  15. - Top - End - #45
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    Cornelius Grim's Avatar

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    Isn't it obvious?! When somebody is killed by the Snarl, they absorb a bit of the Snarl, and acquire the "half-Snarl" template. Kraagor, Soon's Wife, and all the people from the first world are half-Snarl citizens living in their own world, where the Order of the Stick will go and all become BABY SNARLS! Because of some obscure rule causing PC's to be ultra-sensitive to Snarl death because it makes for an awesome theory. And by that I really mean that my theory just bubbled into nonsense.

    And Spoilered is what I surmise the average human half-snarl to look like.

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    And yes, the spiky hair is strictly necessary.
    Last edited by Cornelius Grim; 2011-09-06 at 08:18 PM.
    Cornelius loves Illithids. Illithids love Cornelius. Therefore, all Illithids love toast and ice cubes. Yup.

    Quote Originally Posted by SheepInDisguise View Post
    Haley will release the snarl, and it will bring candy upon the world!
    Username, and avatar, inspired by my favorite D&D character, an insane illithid-loving cultist sorcerer! He is cool. He has a dead illithid larvae in his brain! But that's okay. It's alive in his soul.

  16. - Top - End - #46
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    SamuraiGuy

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    I still have my crazy theory that Julia Greenhilt is Right-Eye's daughter. My basis for this is that Right-Eye sent his daughter away to be raised by humans, and who is probably the only human he knows and kind of trusts? Eugene Greenhilt. Eugene, in his twisted way trying to fix things after what happened to Eric, decided to give Sara and Roy another child to care about. He would certainly have had to use some magic to make her appear human, and perhaps also alter everyone's memories, but being a master illusionist, such things are probably not impossible to him. It's also a possible way that in the future, Redcloak and Roy could form a kinship.

    Of course, I realize that there are a lot of logical problems with this, and it probably isn't true, but I secretly kinda hope there's something to it.

  17. - Top - End - #47
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    The Snarl is not actually a creature of chaos, but a creature of order. You see, it was created by the gods 'author discontinuity'. What it seeks is a to reach an internally consistent continuity. At some point it decided to create its own parallel universe where everything is right, and now it creates holes in the Gods world so it can gather materials for its own perfect world.

  18. - Top - End - #48
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    The Succubus's Avatar

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    This thread makes my brain squeak.

  19. - Top - End - #49
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    BardGirl

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    I have a new theory.

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    Look at panel 5 here. The goblin cleric (Redcloak, I assume) said he was leaving "soon". Hinjo actually used quote marks around "soon", indicating that it didn't mean what it seemed to. Clearly, Redcloak meant he was leaving Soon. So that means that Soon and Redcloak were dating, but now Recloak is breaking up with him.

    Now, that means either Redcloak is not evil or Soon fell. We know that Redcloak is evil, because O-Chul used Smite Evil on him. Therefore, Soon has fallen.
    Last edited by ORione; 2011-09-09 at 12:21 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by BladeofOblivion View Post
    A NE Character with Perform (Sing and Dance).

    That alone pretty much narrows it down to an Evil Bard or a Disney Character.
    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    Clearly the solution to everything is to binge on Girlscout cookies.
    Quote Originally Posted by nogall View Post
    The Snarl could be a hacker code that became self-conscious, and would start posting gibberish and chaotic lines. But if you click its spoiler tags enough times, it would reveal a meta-fanfiction.

  20. - Top - End - #50
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    This thread makes my brain squeak.
    This thread could make Cthulhu lose sanity.
    ""Jeez, this dress! i look like a dominatrix""
    (self-loathing): ""Actually , you look like a sorceress or something""
    ""Hey, no need to get cruel""

  21. - Top - End - #51
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    CloakedDancer's Avatar

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    Quote Originally Posted by faustin View Post
    This thread could make Cthulhu lose sanity.
    I didn't know we were playing with sanity rules!
    Awesome avatar courtesy Cealocanth.

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    69
    it's a crab and a cancer... just ask the zodiac...

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    Signature Update: at the end of the KICKSTARTER pledge drive the number of unclaimed signed packages was 69 ! It's like my signature knew all along...

  22. - Top - End - #52
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Howler Dagger's Avatar

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    No what really is happening is:
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    Haley is actually a celestial sent by arborea to free the Snarl, who is the incarnation of chaotic good, from the tyrranical hands of the Nine Hells, who impersonated Celestia to convince the Order of the Scribble to seal the snarl. ELan will have a kid with Haley, and since they would be a half-celestial, marry redcloak, causing redcloak to lose his cleric powers. Roy (who is secretly a psion) will defeat xykon with his psionic powers, banishing him to the world in the rifts, which is actually the Nine Hells. Haley will release the snarl, and it will bring candy upon the world!
    Last edited by Howler Dagger; 2011-09-10 at 11:21 AM.
    Illud quod aeternitatem iacere potest non mortuus est, ac dis peregrinis etiam mors moriatur.

    D&D 3.5≠Pathfinder

    Typhon by Kaptainkrutch. Thanks to TylerB7 for the latin

  23. - Top - End - #53
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    Quote Originally Posted by faustin View Post
    This thread could make Cthulhu lose sanity.
    Say that name and you risk being dragged off by unspeakable horrors, just like Z.

  24. - Top - End - #54
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Ron Miel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    Ian Starshine is descended from Loki, making Haley part-goddess. This is the secret that even V doesn't know about.
    .
    -.____________________
    ./___________________()-------Ron Miel
    |...___________________--------sits down
    |..| |_________________()-------and starts
    |..|/__________________--------singing
    | ___________________()-------about gold

    .

  25. - Top - End - #55
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Cornelius Grim's Avatar

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    Quote Originally Posted by SheepInDisguise View Post
    Haley will release the snarl, and it will bring candy upon the world!
    Do you mind if I quote this in my signature?
    Cornelius loves Illithids. Illithids love Cornelius. Therefore, all Illithids love toast and ice cubes. Yup.

    Quote Originally Posted by SheepInDisguise View Post
    Haley will release the snarl, and it will bring candy upon the world!
    Username, and avatar, inspired by my favorite D&D character, an insane illithid-loving cultist sorcerer! He is cool. He has a dead illithid larvae in his brain! But that's okay. It's alive in his soul.

  26. - Top - End - #56
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Howler Dagger's Avatar

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    no, i wouldnt mind
    Illud quod aeternitatem iacere potest non mortuus est, ac dis peregrinis etiam mors moriatur.

    D&D 3.5≠Pathfinder

    Typhon by Kaptainkrutch. Thanks to TylerB7 for the latin

  27. - Top - End - #57
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Sith_Happens's Avatar

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

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    The world inside the rifts is 4th Edition. Upon entering a world where the rest of the Order are all balanced with him/her, V will either complete his/her character development or go completely mad and become the series' new villain.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  28. - Top - End - #58
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PirateCaptain

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    The Linear Guild still is in need of new healer.
    So my guess who is it gonna be is...
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  29. - Top - End - #59
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    BardGirl

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    Quote Originally Posted by Darth Hunterix View Post
    The Linear Guild still is in need of new healer.
    So my guess who is it gonna be is...
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    But his doctorate is in Art History.
    Notable and Quotable
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    Quote Originally Posted by BladeofOblivion View Post
    A NE Character with Perform (Sing and Dance).

    That alone pretty much narrows it down to an Evil Bard or a Disney Character.
    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    Clearly the solution to everything is to binge on Girlscout cookies.
    Quote Originally Posted by nogall View Post
    The Snarl could be a hacker code that became self-conscious, and would start posting gibberish and chaotic lines. But if you click its spoiler tags enough times, it would reveal a meta-fanfiction.

  30. - Top - End - #60
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PirateCaptain

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    Default Re: Most absurd possible idea that might be true

    Quote Originally Posted by ORione View Post
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    But his doctorate is in Art History.
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    You speak like it is a matter of any importance.

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