Most absurd possible idea that might be true

[Nevereatcars]

Tarquin is Girard, he's doing the whole continent take-over to protect the gate. Naturally, the Gate is hidden inside the Empress' throne, which is why, when the EoB "took over" from Tyrannaria, they had to keep the capital in 'Insert Capital Name Here.

[martianmister]

Empress of Blood or/and Tarquin will be killed by...

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Assassins.

[Ron Miel]

Very minor Start Of Darkness spoiler

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They say that the demon waitress that Xykon kills has a sister. This much we know.

Speculation - the sister is Sabine, she will take her revenge, and at the climax of the story she will be the one who destroys Xykon.

[CloakedDancer]

Very minor Start Of Darkness spoiler

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They say that the demon waitress that Xykon kills has a sister. This much we know.

Speculation - the sister is Sabine, she will take her revenge, and at the climax of the story she will be the one who destroys Xykon.

For some reason that just doesn't strike me as absurd enough for this thread. Either that or the other ideas are really throwing off my frame of reference...

[dps]

It is disqualified, it definitely isn't true...
Unless

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Kraagor is really the snarl, who has learned to create a mortal form!

It's a silly theory, but given that

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we never see Kraagor's body--we don't even know if the Order of the Scribble actually saw him die, or if he just got sealed in the rift with the snarl--and also given what Blackwing saw when he looked into the rift, how do we know that Kraagor isn't somehow alive on the world within the rift? I don't even think it's a silly theory in that regard, tough it's hard to see how he wouldn't have been killed by the snarl.

The part of the theory where he's hanging out with his buddy, the snarl--that's kind of silly, though it's not 100% impossible. If the snarl is sentient--which isn't completely clear to me--and learned that it's existance and imprisonment is the result of the making of the world--then it's not out of the question that it could channel it's energies into making its own world within the rifts. In fact, in thinking about it, that might be the best explanation of what Blackwing saw. If that's the case, then maybe Kraagor was/is an advisor to the snarl on how the world should be made.

[CloakedDancer]

It's a silly theory, but given that

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we never see Kraagor's body--we don't even know if the Order of the Scribble actually saw him die, or if he just got sealed in the rift with the snarl--and also given what Blackwing saw when he looked into the rift, how do we know that Kraagor isn't somehow alive on the world within the rift? I don't even think it's a silly theory in that regard, tough it's hard to see how he wouldn't have been killed by the snarl.

The part of the theory where he's hanging out with his buddy, the snarl--that's kind of silly, though it's not 100% impossible. If the snarl is sentient--which isn't completely clear to me--and learned that it's existance and imprisonment is the result of the making of the world--then it's not out of the question that it could channel it's energies into making its own world within the rifts. In fact, in thinking about it, that might be the best explanation of what Blackwing saw. If that's the case, then maybe Kraagor was/is an advisor to the snarl on how the world should be made.

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And here I thought it was assumed that Kraagor was spending all his free time using his Dwarven instincts to assist in the construction of the best world possible in Snarl-verse.

[Snails]

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Kraagor being alive would be extremely surprising, but clearly is not impossible if the Scribble merely saw the Gate snap shut.

Based on what Blackwing saw, many of us are making the reasonable guess that the Snarl has changed. The biggest change presumably happened sometime between when that last Gate snapped shut and before Miko blew out the Azure City Gate.

It is a weird linkage to make, but perhaps Kraagor himself aided the change in the Snarl?

The obvious downside is one might reasonably wonder how many milliseconds Kraagor could really survive once the last Gate was shut. But IF some how some way Kraagor survived for days, then the rest of my hypothesis is suddenly not bizarre at all.

[Snails]

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The most obvious (and probably only possible) answer as to how Kraagor survives is that the Snarl lets him live.

Why? Well, nobody knows for sure why the Snarl does or does not do much of anything. Even the insight of the gods is probably pretty limited here, so our guesses are probably not much better or worse than the rest of the well-informed within the OotSverse.

[martianmister]

For some reason that just doesn't strike me as absurd enough for this thread. Either that or the other ideas are really throwing off my frame of reference...

I think what you thought is "Most absurd impossible idea that can't be true".

[Atcote]

The Snarl is...

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... A story made up by the Order of the Scribble.
Soon's wife one day tripped over a rock, onto a sharper rock, thus explaining why her body was not unmade when she was killed. Soon then assembled The Order of the Scribble to take revenge on his wife's killer - the planet itself.
The Order made many gates, at specific points where there were already tears of reality caused by shoddy reality tailors, trying to look into where his wife's killer was. Each time Soon was the only one to look through, and each time he said that it hadn't worked - the gate was not facing the right continent.
Eventually the rest of the Order cottoned on, and, out of embarrassment, made up a story to cover their gigantic waste of time, and each assigned themselves to hiding a gate so the truth could never get out - even Soon was convinced of this eventually, due to realising how silly it was, and it was important that a Paladin never look silly.
So that's what we're seeing through the gate - The planet they are currently on, from a different vantage point. And as for where is Kraagor?
He's floating out in space somewhere.

[CloakedDancer]

I think what you thought is "Most absurd impossible idea that can't be true".

All the other posts are throwing off my frame of reference! There's no quality control! No one is reviewing these submissions, it's a mad free for all...

[martianmister]

No one is reviewing these submissions, it's a mad free for all...

Apparently, for you, Ron Miel's post is not absurd enough for this thread...

[CloakedDancer]

Apparently, for you, Ron Miel's post is not absurd enough for this thread...

I guess that's my absurd possible idea that might be true, that impossible absurd ideas that will never be true are indeed quite sound and feasible, rendering them perfectly harmless in a crazy thread such as this. Hmm...

[137beth]

All the other posts are throwing off my frame of reference! There's no quality control! No one is reviewing these submissions, it's a mad free for all...

Why the heck would anyone need to review submissions? It's a silly thread on a forum, just put up your silly ideas

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Eugene's ghost is actually the snarl, who takes a human form to spy on Roy. Why else would Eugene be so crazy?

[martianmister]

I guess that's my absurd possible idea that might be true.

Then my post your "absurd possible idea" was my own absurd possible idea that might be true.

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The Lawyers are actually immortal beings of pure law. Because they never get any old...

[137beth]

Then my post your "absurd possible idea" was my own absurd possible idea that might be true.

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The Lawyers are actually immortal beings of pure law. Because they never get any old...

This is the best one so far...
But that means the flumphs

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must be immortal beings of pure chaos, since they were switched with the lawyers in #805, they have to be opposites. Oh, and they never die even after having heavy characters fall on them.

[CloakedDancer]

Then my post your "absurd possible idea" was my own absurd possible idea that might be true.

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The Lawyers are actually immortal beings of pure law. Because they never get any old...

That's absurd.

This is the best one so far...
But that means the flumphs

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must be immortal beings of pure chaos, since they were switched with the lawyers in #805, they have to be opposites. Oh, and they never die even after having heavy characters fall on them.

And yes clearly...

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both the flumphs and lawyers are immortal. I mean what else could possibly explain their recurring awesomeness?

[thereaper]

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Belkar is a Doppelganger who happens to prefer the Halfling form due to it's ability to intimidate commoners with nothing but a pebble. He used to be evil, but after being nearly killed by Miko, he turned over a new leaf and has since become CG. Everyone he has killed since then has been someone who was actively planning to kill the Order (which he figured out using his Detect Thoughts ability).

[Ron Miel]

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The Lawyers are actually immortal beings of pure law. Because they never get any old...

I love that idea, it might even be true. The only other lawyer (student) we know is certainly an outsider, so why not Jones & Rodriguez.

BTW, I'm not sure why you thought it necessary to put your idea in a spoiler box. That's only needed for the prequel books.

[Sith_Happens]

Empress of Blood or/and Tarquin will be killed by...

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Assassins.

Too obvious. Instead:

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After fighting off the Linear Guild, the Order will get the information they need about Girard and hightail it out of the Empire of Blood faster than you can say "Wind Walk."

Then, while the Order is out dealing with Team Evil again, Tarquin and his associates will be confronted by a wandering epic-level Monk who claims that they are already dead.