Pin Quin, core creature

[Dalek Zek]

Can someone tell me of I have the level adjustment right?

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The Pin Quin

These odd and silent creatures came from the Elemental Plane of Water. They are generally lawful to the point of being anal. They always follow the ways of the group and do not allow any change in their group. Any enforced change causes the pin quin to leave its group.

Personality: They are extremely social as well as intelligent. However, they seem odd to those who are not of their kind. Because of this, pin quin do not tolerate anyone who behaves in contrast to their norms and values. Pin quin can become aggressive towards anyone who violates their rules.

Some pin quin leave their herds to wander around. If they do, they always link up with other travelers at the earliest possibility, adjusting to the new group's customs, even taking on a new group's alignment, if different.

Physical Description: Pin quin stand 3 to 4 feet tall and weigh 30 to 40 pounds. They are typically black with a white front and have a orange, pointy beak. Their three-fingered hands seem to be pointy flaps on which the fingers cannot be told apart when in rest. Some may have a colored spot on their chest, some may have a white beak, and some may have a black beak.
Although they have fur, they have no hair growth like beards.

Base speed: 20 feet, Swim 60 feet.

Relations: Pin quin get along with anyone of their own alignment and customs. Their sense of humor is fundamentally different then that of other races. Often people will never know they were subject to a prank. It is sometimes a contest between pin quins and gnomes in a group to count the number of pranks done on a day and to see who has done the most.

Pin Quin Lands: Pin quin live in southern regions, enjoying both warm as cold climates. They can live nearly anywhere where there is easy excess to a large stretch of water. They usually live in huge herds where every family has a own small cave. Their lives take place in the wide open places and the water.

Religions: Pin quin who live in a herd rarely follow a deity. Wandering pin quin can learn to adopt any dogma.

Languages: Aquan, Common

Bonus languages: Any

Names: The names of the pin quin are a combination of squeaks, but wandering pin quin can adopt any name given to them or choose one that is easy to pronounce: Squicker, Kaa, Ska, Soo, Wagler, Suit, Beak.

Adventurers: Pin quin are curious and uplifted. They like being around people and go wandering to find them. Adventuring is often a game to them and they go at it with spirit and a desire for self-development.

Pin Quin Traits:

•Pin quin are from the Elemental Plane of Water and have the Water Subtype but they breath only air.

•-2 Str, +2 Dex, +2 Con, +2 Cha.

•Small size. Pin quin have +1 size bonus to AC and Attack, +4 size bonus to Hide, use Small weapons, and have a carrying capacity 1/3 of a Medium creature.

•Cold resistance 10. Individual Pin Quin can withstand the cold quite well. However, in a group, this resistance goes up by +1 for every 2 pin quin in the group, up to a maximum of 20.

•+8 racial bonus to Swim and they may always Take Ten on a Swim check.

•+4 racial bonus to Survival related to things under water.

•Natural attack: Beak (1d4/19-20*/x2). In the wild, pin quin fight with their formidable beaks that pierce their foes' skin and then tear their flesh apart. *Pin quin usually take Improved Critical feat.

•Weapon Finesse: Pin quin are adapted to fight with their beaks and gain the Weapon Finesse feat as a bonus feat.

•Hold Breath: A pin quin can hold its breath for a number of rounds equal to 10 × its Constitution score before it risks drowning.

•Favored Class: Ranger

•Level adjustment: +1

[Welknair]

Uh.. Isn't this a Race, not a Class? And unless it's in the DMG, PHB, or MM, it's not Core.

[Zale]

They're penguins?

I mean, birdlike that are mostly black with a white stomach, cold resistance and they love swimming..

EDIT:

And I just noticed this is probably intentional..

[Wyntonian]

I'd up the LA. They have a natural attack that rocks (1d6, 18-20 X3) along with what I believe is supposed to be two free feats, weapon finesse and weapon focus, while using them.

Add in a net +4 to ability scores, including CON, which is important to everyone, and only dumping str, which is somewhat useful to some classes, and critical to a couple. They get a ridiculously high 90 "feat" (feet?) swim speed, but oddly none of the normal bonuses that tend to accompany a swim speed, namely a racial ability to take ten on swim checks, which is normally accompanied by a +8 bonus, not a +10, even in creatures like sharks, octopi, etc, that live in the water permanently.

They also have a strangely worded bonus to survival, which could be interpreted as the ability to dunk underwater and suddenly become better at following those tracks just outside of your bathtub.

They appear to have a bonus to holding their breath, but that isn't really something you roll on, aside from constitution checks to keep from drowning. Some creatures have an ability called "Hold Breath", which is what I think you're going for. It multiplies the time you can stay underwater by 10X, and it make some more mechanical sense then what you currently have.

Cold resistance is fairly high, but doesn't scale at all. For ideas on how to do a scaling form of resistance, see the Drow and spells. As it is they have a high bonus at low levels, but before too long things will be totally able to ignore it. It would be better for their bonus to always be at least noticeable, but not too high or too low.

Aside from cleaning up some little spelling issues, mostly stuff like There versus Their, etc., you're looking pretty good. Consider my advice and that which the other people here give you and you should be good. Good Luck!

[jiriku]

This is a weak +2 or a strong +1. As Wyntonian mentioned, the break point is the excellent natural attack combined with two bonus feats intended to make it work even better. If you had either a less amazing crit rating on the bite, or no bonus feats, I'd call it solidly +1.

Incidentally, the 18-20/x3 crit rating on the bite actually has a special ability named for it "Augmented Critical". Reference that ability name to help people understand how this fits into existing rules.

I'd recommend a +8 racial bonus to Swim, with the ability to take 10 etc etc. Look at any creature with a Swim speed and copy the text accordingly.

The Survival bonus is rather larger than common on a low-LA race, even if it is limited to an unusual environment. +2 or +4 would be more common. +5 isn't wrong, though, just unusual.

You need to establish what creature type the Pin Quin is. Monstrous humanoid is common for animal-human hybrid races.

[Dalek Zek]

I'd up the LA. They have a natural attack that rocks (1d6, 18-20 X3) along with what I believe is supposed to be two free feats, weapon finesse and weapon focus, while using them.

I have altert the natural atack so that is not as formibal.

Add in a net +4 to ability scores, including CON, which is important to everyone, and only dumping str, which is somewhat useful to some classes, and critical to a couple. They get a ridiculously high 90 "feat" (feet?) swim speed, but oddly none of the normal bonuses that tend to accompany a swim speed, namely a racial ability to take ten on swim checks, which is normally accompanied by a +8 bonus, not a +10, even in creatures like sharks, octopi, etc, that live in the water permanently.

I lowred there swim speed and alterd the bonus.

They also have a strangely worded bonus to survival, which could be interpreted as the ability to dunk underwater and suddenly become better at following those tracks just outside of your bathtub.

They appear to have a bonus to holding their breath, but that isn't really something you roll on, aside from constitution checks to keep from drowning. Some creatures have an ability called "Hold Breath", which is what I think you're going for. It multiplies the time you can stay underwater by 10X, and it make some more mechanical sense then what you currently have.

You are right, the bunos should aply to things that are onder water, not to them being there.

Thank you fore your help.

[Hanuman]

Massive spellcheck required? =]

I'm almost leaning to +2 because of the cold res, but I think +1 is fine.

I'd post a picture up next time, I skimmed and thought it was a water elemental.

[Dalek Zek]

This is a weak +2 or a strong +1. As Wyntonian mentioned, the break point is the excellent natural attack combined with two bonus feats intended to make it work even better. If you had either a less amazing crit rating on the bite, or no bonus feats, I'd call it solidly +1.

I alterd both, so that it becomes more a extra abilety than somthing you can build a charecter on. It was indeed to strong.

I'd recommend a +8 racial bonus to Swim, with the ability to take 10 etc etc. Look at any creature with a Swim speed and copy the text accordingly.

So alterd.

The Survival bonus is rather larger than common on a low-LA race, even if it is limited to an unusual environment. +2 or +4 would be more common. +5 isn't wrong, though, just unusual.

I can't hurt to keep thing similar here, so I changed it to +4.

You need to establish what creature type the Pin Quin is. Monstrous humanoid is common for animal-human hybrid races.

To be honest, I am not sure yet.

[Dalek Zek]

Uh.. Isn't this a Race, not a Class? And unless it's in the DMG, PHB, or MM, it's not Core.

Your right, it's a race. It was late when I posted it and gut the two confused.

[Dalek Zek]

Massive spellcheck required? =]

I'm almost leaning to +2 because of the cold res, but I think +1 is fine.

I'd post a picture up next time, I skimmed and thought it was a water elemental.

They really look like penguins.

[Hanuman]

They really look like penguins.

Then post a picture of that =P

[jiriku]

[Howler Dagger]

-snip-

those are so hilarious!

[Pyromancer999]

And unless it's in the DMG, PHB, or MM, it's not Core.

What he said.

[Yitzi]

If they're so Lawful, don't you think they'd be annoyed to be introduced in a post with so many spelling mistakes?

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

If they're so Lawful, don't you think they'd be annoyed to be introduced in a post with so many spelling mistakes?

Spelling aside (I'm guess English isn't his first language, as he's from the Netherlands and, being mono-lingual myself, I'm not about to harp on his spelling ), it seems like you've hit a pretty good balance point this time around, now that you've toned down the natural weapon (although you could up the damage to 1d6 without much of an issue).

I'd suggest Cold Resistance of 5 + character level though, just to keep it effective throughout all levels. I don't think that would overpower the race at all.

[Dalek Zek]

If they're so Lawful, don't you think they'd be annoyed to be introduced in a post with so many spelling mistakes?

They probably would be, yes.

[Debihuman]

Technically, these are a race and not just a creature.

If they gain a better cold resistance for being in a group, there should be a mechanic for that. I created one that allows +2 for every 4 members up to a maximum cold resistance 20 but you could easily change that.

You probably shouldn't give them improved critical damage (19-20) without the proper feat (Improved Critical). You should give them Weapon Finesse as a bonus feat.

Creatures that come from the Elemental Plane of Water usually have the Water Subtype. Due to the fact these have the Hold Breath special ability, it can be inferred that these breath only air.

Here are my edits for spelling, punctuation, grammar, etc.

The Pin Quin

These odd and silent creatures came from the Elemental Plane of Water. They are generally lawful to the point of being anal. They always follow the ways of the group and do not allow any change in their group. Any enforced change causes the pin quin to leave its group.

Personality: They are extremely social as well as intelligent. However, they seem odd to those who are not of their kind. Because of this, pin quin do not tolerate anyone who behaves in contrast to their norms and values. Pin quin can become aggressive towards anyone who violates their rules.

Some pin quin leave their herds to wander around. If they do, they always link up with other travelers at the earliest possibility, adjusting to the new group's customs, even taking on a new group's alignment, if different.

Physical Description: Pin quin stand 3 to 4 feet tall and weigh 30 to 40 pounds. They are typically black with a white front and have a orange, pointy beak. Their three-fingered hands seem to be pointy flaps on which the fingers cannot be told apart when in rest. Some may have a colored spot on their chest, some may have a white beak, and some may have a black beak.
Although they have fur, they have no hair growth like beards.

Base speed: 20 feet, Swim 60 feet.

Relations: Pin quin get along with anyone of their own alignment and customs. Their sense of humor is fundamentally different then that of other races. Often people will never know they were subject to a prank. It is sometimes a contest between pin quins and gnomes in a group to count the number of pranks done on a day and to see who has done the most.

Pin Quin Lands: Pin quin live in southern regions, enjoying both warm as cold climates. They can live nearly anywhere where there is easy excess to a large stretch of water. They usually live in huge herds where every family has a own small cave. Their lives take place in the wide open places and the water.

Religions: Pin quin who live in a herd rarely follow a deity. Wandering pin quin can learn to adopt any dogma.

Languages: Aquan, Common

Bonus languages: Any

Names: The names of the pin quin are a combination of squeaks, but wandering pin quin can adopt any name given to them or choose one that is easy to pronounce: Squicker, Kaa, Ska, Soo, Wagler, Suit, Beak.

Adventurers: Pin quin are curious and uplifted. They like being around people and go wandering to find them. Adventuring is often a game to them and they go at it with spirit and a desire for self-development.

Pin Quin Traits:

• Pin quin are Small Monstrous Humanoids from the Elemental Plane of Water and have the Water Subtype but they breathe only air.
  
• -2 Str, +2 Dex, +2 Con, +2 Cha.
  
• Small size. Pin quin have +1 size bonus to AC and Attack, +4 size bonus to Hide, use Small weapons, and have a carrying capacity 1/3 of a Medium creature.
  
• Cold resistance 10. Individual Pin Quin can withstand the cold quite well. However, in a group, this resistance goes up by +1 for every 2 pin quin in the group, up to a maximum of 20.
  
• +8 racial bonus to Swim and they may always Take Ten on a Swim check.
  
• +4 racial bonus to Survival related to things under water.
  
• Augmented Critical (Ex): In the wild, pin quin fight with their formidable beaks that pierce their foes' skin and then tear their flesh apart. The pin quin’s bite threatens a critical hit on a natural attack roll of 19-20, dealing triple damage on a successful critical hit. Their bite attack does 1 and 1/2 Str bonus damage since it is the only natural weapon the pin quin has. Adventuring pin quin cannot use their bite when fighting with manufactured weapons.
  
• Weapon Finesse: Pin quin are adapted to fight with their beaks and gain the Weapon Finesse feat as a bonus feat.
  
• Hold Breath: A pin quin can hold its breath for a number of rounds equal to 10 × its Constitution score before it risks drowning.
  
• Favored Class: Ranger
  
• Level adjustment: +2

I hope this makes it easier to read. I also added more stuff since the Augment Critical special ability was suggested.

I've added more stuff (added Size and Type in the list and added even more to Augmented Critical). LA is squarely +2.

Also, are these Monstrous Humanoids? It would appear so since they can advance as Rangers.

Debby

[Dalek Zek]

Here are my edits for spell, punctuation, grammar, etc.

Debby

Thank you, this is verry helpfull.

[Togath]

Augmented critical(as has been mentioned above) allows you to decide what the crit range and multiplier of the creature that possesses it is for the selected attacks, you can add improved critical when advancing a creature, but most creatures use the augmented critical ability for the base.

[Debihuman]

Ninja'd...

Natural weapons normally critical on a 20 and only do double damage. It would take the Improved Critical feat to increase the threat range to 19-20 and it would take the Augmented Critical special ability to increase the multiplier from x2 to x3. Unfortunately, I think the Augmented Critical is too powerful for the pin quin.

Debby

[Togath]

Augmented critical is not a feat, it's an ability.
An example of a creature that possesses it in a mm is the vivisector, with a crit range of 18/x3 for it's claw attacks.
While a fairly powerful ability, it does exist.

[Dalek Zek]

Natural weapons normally critical on a 20. It would take the Improved Critical to increase the threat range to 19-20. The feat does not stack.

Also, there is no Augment Critical feat that I know of. If you can find one please let me know where it is.

Debby

I made 1d4 19-20 to match a knife. Since it is really a sharp, pricing blade like object, it would closely resemble these. The original natural weapon was so strong because I went from this and added the tearing option to it. This one however I believe would work better in game play, because now it is not something you can build a hole class on.

[Debihuman]

Earlier post was ninja'd while editing. The monsters that have the Augmented Critical special ability are the Tarrasque (it has 20 hit dice) and Vivisector in MM5.

I really hate the way the Augmented Critical special ability is worded. It basically allows you to increase the threat range AND increase the multiplier without Improved Critical feat. However, the RAW allows for it so in it goes. I'll update the stat block.

BTW, LA is definitely +2 now.

Debby

[Hanuman]

Gratis of the Flowdancer project

[Debihuman]

It looks AWESOME.

Just a couple of corrections:

It should have the Water Subtype not Aquatic. The Water subtype is what gives them the tie to the Elemental Plane of Water rather than the Aquatic subtype¹.

Aquatic Subtype

These creatures always have swim speeds and thus can move in water without making Swim checks. An aquatic creature can breathe underwater. It cannot also breathe air unless it has the amphibious special quality.

Water Subtype

This subtype usually is used for elementals and outsiders with a connection to the Elemental Plane of Water. Creatures with the water subtype always have swim speeds and can move in water without making Swim checks. A water creature can breathe underwater and usually can breathe air as well.

Sharp Beak (Ex) is exactly the same as Augmented Critical (Ex). Since Augmented Critical (Ex) is a standard ability, that is really what should be used ².

Debby

¹ It is somewhat silly to have two nearly identical subtypes but that's WotC for ya.
² I don't really care if it gets changed, but there seems to be a proliferation of names for special abilities that all do the same darn thing.

[Hanuman]

It looks AWESOME.

Just a couple of corrections:

It should have the Water Subtype not Aquatic. The Water subtype is what gives them the tie to the Elemental Plane of Water rather than the Aquatic subtype¹.



Sharp Beak (Ex) is exactly the same as Augmented Critical (Ex). Since Augmented Critical (Ex) is a standard ability, that is really what should be used ².

Debby

¹ It is somewhat silly to have two nearly identical subtypes but that's WotC for ya.
² I don't really care if it gets changed, but there seems to be a proliferation of names for special abilities that all do the same darn thing.

Hm, I remember some humanoid races having aquatic subtype being exceptions, but because I can't recall them specifically I'll have to go with Whale/Crocodile as an example-- removed!

Augmented critical seems to work nicely as well, as long as I change bite to beak to retain context.

K, done!