"Wait, that didn't work right" - the Dysfunctional Rules Collection

[noparlpf]

Diplomacy optimization is not worth it. After doing this schtick once or twice, rest assured all your encounters are going to be with Golems and undead. Or mechanical traps. Or thousands of archers attacking in volley from large range before you get a chance to talk.

That's what happened when I optimized for negative levels.

[Randomguy]

That's actually why all one trick ponies are bad. Diversify, man.

[noparlpf]

I usually don't even play casters anyway, I just wanted to see how negative levels would work out.

[big teej]

Speak up sonny!

The Listen DC to hear that people are talking is DC 0, however you have to beat the DC by 10 to understand what was being said.

That means that if an average person with no ranks and Wis 10 is addressed in a clear, strong voice by someone 10 feet away there is only a 50% chance they will understand what is being said and will have extreme difficulty carrying on a conversation with them. As the DC is 11, taking 10 is impossible, meaning that the typical conversation between two ordinary people sounds more like that of the elderly, who are LESS likely to have trouble being hard of hearing.

I dunno man, I've had plenty of conversations where I'd go "what?"
"I'm sorry?" "could you repeat that?" over the course of a conversation.

so maybe it's more spot on than you think....

[Ksheep]

I dunno man, I've had plenty of conversations where I'd go "what?"
"I'm sorry?" "could you repeat that?" over the course of a conversation.

so maybe it's more spot on than you think....

I wouldn't say HALF of the conversation. Maybe a quarter… so beat the DC by 5 to understand?

[Tsuzurao]

At greater than 10 feet, you're going to be speaking up a bit. That would pull the base DC a little into the negatives (I KNOW I've seen at least one item that involved a negative Listen DC because it was so freaking loud, so it can happen).

[CactusAir]

There's the old "Heal by Drowning" trick, that needs no further explanation.

It should be noted that there are absolutely no rules for fixing drowing in official 3.5e materiel. By RAW, once you start drowning, you die in 3 rounds, no save.

What about Travel Devotion? You can move all your movement in a Immediate Action. It means you can avoid a fall jumping midair! Or do a double jump!

Listen closely kids:

Double Jumping is perfectly legit in D&D. breaking the rules of physics by sheer awesome/skill is something every 6th level or higher D&D character can do by default.

Here's one: the Invisible Blade requires Point Blank Shot and Far Shot. The Invisible Blade is based on feinting, which can only be used in melee.

The original Invisible Blade was 10 levels and had throwing abilities. The writer erata'd the 5 level version to have Weapon Focus as a prereq instead, and put the original 10 level up on his own website.

So basically Executive meddling at work.

To be fair, earlier iterations of D&D did make Evasion into the Incredible Bouncing Thief (Rogue). Allied Magic-Users would target the Thief in order to get him closer to or further from the enemy, as needed.

1) Kobold rogues of level 8 or higher can still do this in 3.5e. Yay for racial sub levels.

2) This is awesome, and D&D breaks physics all the time anyway. There's no reason it shouldn't be allowed. I bounce off 3 fireballs and land on the giant to stab him in the eye = Awesome.

[Ksheep]

It should be noted that there are absolutely no rules for fixing drowing in official 3.5e materiel. By RAW, once you start drowning, you die in 3 rounds, no save.

No, according to RAW, after three rounds, you drown. It does not specify what effects the status of "drowned" are.

One interpretation is that, as it says you start drowning on round 1, once round 3 comes around the process is over… and you can start over again. Of course, this now introduces an infinite loop of "I start drowning, fall to 0 and unconscious. Next round, I'm at -1 and I lose one health a round. 3rd round, I get kicked out of the loop. Following round, I start drowning and "fall" to 0 and unconscious…", which in my opinion is more absurd than a simple "heal by drowning".

[CactusAir]

No, according to RAW, after three rounds, you drown. It does not specify what effects the status of "drowned" are.

One interpretation is that, as it says you start drowning on round 1, once round 3 comes around the process is over… and you can start over again. Of course, this now introduces an infinite loop of "I start drowning, fall to 0 and unconscious. Next round, I'm at -1 and I lose one health a round. 3rd round, I get kicked out of the loop. Following round, I start drowning and "fall" to 0 and unconscious…", which in my opinion is more absurd than a simple "heal by drowning".

... That's even better!

You don't even get to die and roll up a new character. You're just stuck in drowning limbo until someone convinces a DM to allow a wish or miracle to fix the loop.

[Randomguy]

... Or until someone rescues you.

[Qwertystop]

... Or until someone rescues you.

By RAW, there's no way to stop drowning. Rescuing doesn't work (in core, anyway).

[Gotterdammerung]

By RAW, there's no way to stop drowning. Rescuing doesn't work (in core, anyway).

see first aid: under heal skill.

RAW is quite a large thing to try and fit in such a tiny box.

[Qwertystop]

see first aid: under heal skill.

RAW is quite a large thing to try and fit in such a tiny box.

Actually, that only allows stabilization of dying characters. If you read the rules on drowning, you'll see that while the second round does qualify someone as "dying", the effect on the third round does not depend on whether or not someone is dying. Drowning starts a set of effects that proceed over three rounds, with no way to stop the progression.

[Ksheep]

By RAW, there's no way to stop drowning. Rescuing doesn't work (in core, anyway).

Except that the way interpreted above, the third round, you have "drowned", which I would take to mean that the 3-round process is complete. You'd still be at negatives and dying, but unless you are still submerged, you are not drowning. Staying submerged is what will get you into this infinite loop (in this interpretation, at least).

EDIT: Fixed spelling error (stupid autocorrect)

[Qwertystop]

Except that the way interpreted above, the third round, you have "drowned", which I would take to mean that the 3-round process is complete. You'd still be at negatives and dying, but unless you are still submerged, you are not growing. Staying submerged is what will get you into this infinite loop (in this interpretation, at least).

Ah, that's what you meant.

[Tyger]

Not sure if it is covered here, but Pixies' natural state ("this ability is constant, but the pixie can suppress or resume it as a free action") is invisible. Pixies can not naturally see invisible.

[Qwertystop]

Not sure if it is covered here, but Pixies' natural state ("this ability is constant, but the pixie can suppress or resume it as a free action") is invisible. Pixies can not naturally see invisible.

Wow, raising baby pixies must be tricky. Can't see where they are until they hit the level of intelligence where they know how to suppress it.

[Venger]

Psions can manifest a power called "Ear Hand" that lets you presumably scoop up objects that are ≤5lbs with an invisible ear.

the Magnificent Captain's Coat requires that you become a pirate and terrorise the countryside while impersonating someone's dirty laundry

"Threat the coast as a shirt or vestment" stormwrack p 133

[PairO'Dice Lost]

Anything killed by negative levels becomes a Wight. Wight is a creature, not a template.

Therefore, if you kill a Great Wyrm Red Dragon with Negative Levels, it will rise as a Medium, distorted-human-shaped undead with very few attacks compared to the Dragon.

Actually, there is a Wight template in Savage Species that can be added to any humanoid, and another Wight template from Dragon #300 that can be applied to any corporeal creature except constructs, oozes, and undead. So you can in fact have a wight dragon that isn't terribly weaker than living dragons (as opposed to white dragons, which always suck relative to other dragons ).

[TravelLog]

Psions can manifest a power called "Ear Hand" that lets you presumably scoop up objects that are ≤5lbs with an invisible ear.

the Magnificent Captain's Coat requires that you become a pirate and terrorise the countryside while impersonating someone's dirty laundry

"Threat the coast as a shirt or vestment" stormwrack p 133

If I remember correctly, they released errata correcting it to "Far Hand".

[Venger]

If I remember correctly, they released errata correcting it to "Far Hand".

I know, I'm being silly. I don't think they really meant that any more than they thought that dread pirates should spend their time impersonating shirts. this was clearly not their intent with the rules, but it's what is written and it's still pretty funny

page 152 of the player's handbook, the last sentence in the paragraph about concealment miss chance must be read to be believed since telling people about it will just make you look like a pervert

[Dragonsoul]

I know, I'm being silly. I don't think they really meant that any more than they thought that dread pirates should spend their time impersonating shirts. this was clearly not their intent with the rules, but it's what is written and it's still pretty funny

page 152 of the player's handbook, the last sentence in the paragraph about concealment miss chance must be read to be believed since telling people about it will just make you look like a pervert

"The DM may impose other penalties or restrictions to attack depending on the details of the cover. For example, to strike effectively through a narrow opening, you need to use a long piercing weapon,"

I'm pretty sure this isn't what you were referring to, but I still got a chuckle out of it.(It's on the same page)

[KicktheCAN]

page 152 of the player's handbook, the last sentence in the paragraph about concealment miss chance must be read to be believed since telling people about it will just make you look like a pervert

It made me think of something else.

[Qwertystop]

Actually, there is a Wight template in Savage Species that can be added to any humanoid, and another Wight template from Dragon #300 that can be applied to any corporeal creature except constructs, oozes, and undead. So you can in fact have a wight dragon that isn't terribly weaker than living dragons (as opposed to white dragons, which always suck relative to other dragons ).

Well, when Wights were released, there wasn't a template.

[Venger]

"The DM may impose other penalties or restrictions to attack depending on the details of the cover. For example, to strike effectively through a narrow opening, you need to use a long piercing weapon,"

I'm pretty sure this isn't what you were referring to, but I still got a chuckle out of it.(It's on the same page)

That's funny too, but I was referring to "concealment miss chance", not "varying degrees of cover"

in any event, here's the quote:

Multiple concealment conditions (such
as a defender in a dog and under the effect of a blur spell) do not
stack.

It made me think of something else.

yep, thats the one

[Karoht]

If I remember correctly, they released errata correcting it to "Far Hand".

So it's known across the land Ear and Far?

[Venger]

So it's known across the land Ear and Far?

you win an internet

[Karoht]

you win an internet

Yaaay! I just work with what I'm given.

[nedz]

Multiple concealment conditions (such
as a defender in a dog and under the effect of a blur spell) do not
stack.

There are different editions of the PH - unfortunately in mine they fixed this one. I have come across other differences between editions, even in actual rules.

[Venger]

There are different editions of the PH - unfortunately in mine they fixed this one. I have come across other differences between editions, even in actual rules.

Unfortunately, this is true, which is why I quoted the relevant passage for the enjoyment of those who have a later version that fixed the typo.