[Nexus] AMEN XLI: eXtra Large Injury

[happyturtle]

"Why yes, they are sexy,aren't they?" Moff says in response to Stu's mention of sexy-pants. They're the stars and stripes pants from the .gif! A henchie told him they made his ass look hot, and the other Moffs haven't been able to convince him otherwise. >.<

Moff updates his list! Again!

1. Host race Raid to get weapons
2. Pretend to be Not-AMEN (new hats? See if we can get new hats!)
3. Use Gordon's magic to make lava gun giant barrier something that hurts machines (Magtok too? note to selves: find out if Prometheus is planning to destroy all Magtoks)
4. Watch Clash of the Titans! =D
5. ???
6. Conquer Remnant
7. Rule Inside
8. Naked Weekends Male only Naked Weekends Government sponsored Nude Beaches
9. Get blamed if things go wrong
10. Offer Remnant a race in exchange for pardons (???)

"Wait wait wait, so we're only raiding weapons right now? We aren't going to take over the city?" Moff asks, after staring at his list a bit more.

[The Bushranger]

"...oh, gods, please tell me why nobody has dumped a bottle of Roundup in this idiot's pot, will you?"

Becky uses COLD SHOULDER on Stu.
It's probably not super effective.
The glare he gets might be more so!

"Well, then, we'll need a name for that. I propose the Reformed Association of the Malicious, Evil and Nefarious."

[Reinholdt]

"Right debriefing. You're totally interested in sex, right? I mean, the way you're dressed and all... well, let's just say I'd like to see you without." Nudge nudge, wink wink.

"Are you wearing your pajamas?"
Stu asks Moff.

[Slii Arhem]

Meeting Room

Rocid is a bit miffed that his latest attempt to stir up trouble has gone ignored, for the most part. Rather than try again or bring anything meaningful to the discussion he'll just grumble under his breath.

"Fine, I'll just go along with whatever you guys decide on then..."

[ThirdEmperor]

Meeting Room

Prometheus facepalms, exasperated by Moff's continued and, he suspects, intentional incomprehension. "We are stealing weapons in order to arm a proper fighting force, in order to improve AMEN's defenses, so that we can eventually conquer Inside. It is not that complex."

[happyturtle]

Prometheus's suspicions would be wrong. Moff really doesn't understand. Also, Moff's player didn't either.

"No, I'm not interested in going to bed with you, Stu," Moff says. He looks at Prometheus. "I thought we were taking over the city now, and you say we're taking over it someday. Someday is boring and never happens. The Brain is right. We suck."

He adds Becky's suggestion to the list. "So, can we get RAMEN hats?"

[The Bushranger]

"Exactly," Becky declares with a grin, before glaring at everyone else for ignoring her suggestion.

Glaaaaaaaaare!

[ThePhantom]

Meeting Room

"Moff, I never said that we were going to take over the city today, so calm down. And yes, you can have hats."

Meanwhile, picking up on the anger hidden in Gordon, the little catwalk in his tenchcoat pocket tries to psyically make Rocid start spinning around.

[The Alexandrian]

[Meeting Room]

The Hatteress deliberately tumbles backwards off of the table, likely landing in her extra-cushiony chair with a barely audible,

"Oof!"

She then proceeds to kick her feet up and set them atop the table with a thud, stretching in her chair and relaxing.

And then she goes about trying to poke holes in Prometheus's logic! That's not very nice, Hatty.

"You seem to have forgotten that the city Remnant defends is full of super-powered meatbags. Furthermore, if you steal tons of ordinance before offering to host a race for people and they know you're the one who stole it, who the heck in their right mind would attend said race?"

"Oh! I have at least one more thing to add! If word of this scheming reaches Remnant's multiplicity of misshapen ears, I will find the filthy traitor who is responsible for said action and force feed them their own intestines."

"Carry on!"

[Neon Knight]

[Red Bluff]

The fire roars on Red Bluff, the cooking fire turned into a tall, blazing bonfire spewing smoke and sparks into the sky. The maddened horses tear at their post, adding screams and cries to the roar of the flames. Long shadows are cast across the red-lit plateau, and the figures upon it, similarly tinted, look like shapes pent in hell.

Swede is there, a cigarette hanging from his lips. "We've been dealt a new hand." He looks around at the gathered faces of his gang. "It's time to show our first hand. The pot isn't very big, but that doesn't mean we can screw around or blow this one off. Do your jobs, and do them right. Now, the bank job has to wait a little. I've got to take a detour to Riverside."

The suited man points to the two Native Americans sitting apart. "Turtlejacket, Kaw-Liga, you'll come with me. I might need your expertise." The two nod once, a simple acknowledgment that Swede returns.

"Black, you'll stay here. Watch Doctor Arlington, and save your strength for the Hollowtinns job." The gaunt gunslinger gnashed his teeth but remained quiet. The carpetbagging snake-oil salesman, however, had a problem with this. "Mr. Swede, I have a complaint about these conditions."

The gang's ringleader just stares at the Doctor hard. Unbowed, he continues. "You promised me that if I served your gang with my medical and technological prowess, you would allow me to pursue my work freely. I have fulfilled my part of the bargain, but you have not. Stuck up here on this rock, with no supplies, no materials, no facilities, no apparatus, no equipment, and no subjects, I can hardly work at all. I-"

Swede cuts him off with a hand gesture. "You got a point, doc. We finish this Hollowtinns job, we'll get you all set up. And you'll get first pick of the captives when we go raiding again. That good enough for you?"

The doctor huffs. "For now." Swede dismisses the subject by looking at the other five members of the gang. Vire and Modarmaskin, the two desperados, fully recovered from their GLoG indiscretions. Black Betty, Duke, and Kith the Red, three monstrous warriors and gunslingers, the last members of the Yellow Dog Butchers. "You lot are to raise Cain. Petty crimes. Robbery, murder, destruction. Shake things up. Don't get too banged up, and don't get killed. You'll be needed for the Hollowtinns job. But I want to make sure people understand who we are, and what we're about. Don't leave any doubt in their minds. We're the devil's sons, and we're here to do the devil's work."

The flames kicked higher, even as the wind blew harder, and the whole bluff resounded with the thunder of hooves and the howls of the tortured horses.

[Slii Arhem]

Meeting Room

Rocid counters with an almost identical amount of force, but misjudges slightly and begins to list to one side slightly, floating away from his corner towards the Moffs.

"Ooh, looks like I ticked someone off, hey, watch this!"

When he gets close to one of the Moff's faces, he increases the pressure slightly, building up tension against the catwalk's force for a second before letting go and spinning wildly in place.

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Covered by the spinning and perhaps entirely unnoticed because of the giant distraction Rocid has become, another crystal may just find its way into the Moff's pocket.

((Ghar's Moff or Happy's, you decide.))

[Lord Magtok]

Meeting Room

Magtok takes a moment to wipe the drool from his lip, and make sure he knows what's going on before speaking up again.

"Boobs in a Silly Hat and Talking Brain From That One Episode of Futurama both have a point, guys. Remnant is equipped for stomping the hell out of us. Nobody is dumb enough to go along with a race proposed by us, especially if it's shortly after us getting stomped by Remnant. Lastly, people sell weapons. In like, stores. And we have money. Why do we need to risk our lives trying to take someone's secret stash of used guns, when we can go get nice, clean, shiny, new ones?"

He clears his throat.

"Personally? I think we need to forget all your stupid war general simulations and political games, and use some more traditional supervillainy tactics. Vasquez has a boyfriend. A pretty damn steady boyfriend too, from what I can tell, and he's a total wuss, too. We should totally abduct him and then hypnotize him into shoving a knife between Vas's bra clasps when she's least expecting it. Nobody will ever be able to implicate us, and while their leadership is all dead and respawning and stuff, we strike for real."

[The Bushranger]

Meeting Room

Becky shakes her head sadly.
"Really, Tin Man? Really? I don't see a thing wrong with her hat..."

[happyturtle]

Meeting Room

"Vas has a boyfriend? Is he hot?" Moff asks. "I bet he's hot."

[Reinholdt]

"Oooooh. Vas is a girl? Is she hot?" Stu asks. "I bet she's hot."

[Lord Magtok]

Meeting Room

Magtok slams his face against his palm. Oh gods, we're really going to do this, aren't we? We're really going to show them what Gus/Jake and Vasquez look like, just to curry favor for the only plan that won't end with your head on a pike. He even digs through his memories of the time he was nearly seduced by a lady with an adam's apple, just to get holographic images of those two looking their best on the AMEN meeting table. Gods, being a Magtok is terrible.

[The Alexandrian]

[Meeting Room]

The Hatteress glares at Maggy coldly from behind her soulless, black sunglasses.

"You can look all you want, but the moment you so much as entertain the thought of doing anything more, an angry flurry of slappings shall descend upon you and your household."

"Single men. Sheesh!"

She remarks, clearly offended by the bit about her hat being silly. It is not silly! It's eccentric!

The Hatteress does appreciate Becky defending her hat against Magtok's cybernetically-enhanced, sharp tongue. She turns her head toward Becky and smirks warmly,

"I don't believe I've had the pleasure of making your acquaintance. I'm sure I would remember meeting someone as well-bred as yourself."

Then, awesome holographic pictures (and cyborg-ninjas).

"He doesn't look like he'll be too hard to nab..."

[happyturtle]

Meeting Room

Moff ogles the half dressed hologram. "Nice. Can I get to hypnotise him?"

No. You can't. Self rp sucks. *smacks Moff*

Oh, and since I forgot to respond to Slii before, either Moff or Moff has acquired a crystal unknowingly. I'll wait till I speak to Ghar, because I think it would be better for Moff to have it, but want to see what he thinks.

[ThirdEmperor]

Meeting Room

"You want to hypnotize Vas's boyfriend? What a nice little scheme, why, it would almost work. Except that Vas won't stay dead, and she almost certainly has designated a second in command to lead Remnant in her absence. The only thing that would achieve is making Remnant very, very angry, and I can assure you it will be blamed on us, whether or not they find evidence.

So far, all plans proposed in opposition to mine are such that they would result in a net profit of zero. I do like the Hatter's suggestion that we disguise ourselves as a new organization, however, I don't believe it would be effective. For a start, we'd actually have to create such an organization and recent some fools to staff it, otherwise it will be seen through in an instant. And we simply don't have time for that. This is an opportunity. We have a chance to steal weaponry of the kind that is definitely not sold in stores. We cannot simply sit here, twiddling our thumbs, living in fear of the day Remnant will tire of our existence. We must fight, and I believe that, in the end, we shall win. We have spent months cooped up in this base, unable to go out and pursue our nefarious agendas. By doing so, we have stagnated while Remnant grows stronger. We cannot allow this to continue, or one day they shall be powerful enough to simply storm AMEN and send each and every one of us to hell."

[The Bushranger]

Meeting Room

The heavily-dressed (all in black), black-haired (died), orange-eyed (contacts) Goth (who just wants sensation, dangit!) grins at the Hatteress. "I've been kinda here and there lately. Name's Becky." (And anybody who calls her Rebecca has their soul shredded.)

Then suddenly: Leggy Vas.

Becky oogles!
With oogley eyes.

[BladeofObliviom]

[Meeting Room]

Cyrus gives Prometheus a knowing smile.

We don't? I happen to have a staffed fortress or two lying around. Complete with its' own army. Just saying.

He totally does, too. The Ebon Citadel's been boring lately anyway.

[Reinholdt]

Meeting Room

"Nexus dude. Have you ever even BEEN to Erin's? There's no weapon they won't sell, EVEN to me." There's nothing you can't just up and buy there, for the right price. "Stealing money to buy the guns is a better idea." Stu nods knowingly, having worked on stealing money in the past.

"So yeah. I'm totally in favor of kidnapping her boyfriend. I'll seduce her to keep her distracted with my manliness. And then we can have a race after buying weapons and have some false organization join in the race as its introduction into the world."

[happyturtle]

Meeting Room

"Why can't we combine Plan Hypnohottie with Operation Die Remnant Die?" Moff asks.

I think he's given up on making sense of all the scheming.

[The Bushranger]

Meeting Room

As Becky continues her oogley eyes...

...sudden sharp cracks come from outside the base.

Sounds like...fireworks?

Very LOUD fireworks.

[Lord Magtok]

Meeting Room

Magtok rolls his eyes. "I wouldn't dream of it, Boobs. I still remember what Other-You was like, after all." Oh gods, that nickname is going to stick now, isn't it? She's going to be Boobs and Silly Hat every time Magtok opens his stupid mouth. He doesn't even dislike the hat, so I have no idea why he'd say anything like that!

"That said, we do have someone capable of hypnotizing, right? Someone other than me, because I reeeeally don't want to have to dig through all my old junk trying desperately to figure out where I put my old rusty and forgotten hypno-ray."

[happyturtle]

Meeting Room

"What's that noise?" Moff asks.

[The Bushranger]

"Sounds like...fireworks?"
Becky frowns, annoyed at the distractions.

The snap-crackle-pop continues. Getting louder.

[ApeofLight]

[Fireworks]

Al Rato, hearing something from outside his lab goes to investigate. And he was close to breaking the genetic code of the ice dragon too. This had better be important.

[ThePhantom]

Meeting Room

And this is why Gordon at times hates his job. Members who can't focus enough to come up with a working scheme. At least Prometheus had a plan, maybe not a wise plan, but he had a plan.

"Messing with people's personal life has tended to go very wrong, people. Going over a raid under a different name can work through, so that's fine. And what's going on out there?"

[The Bushranger]

Meeting Room

One of the henchmen hurries up with a video screen tuned to the outside security cameras.

Just in time for a final blast of fireworks, as they fly up in the air and explode...forming a giant sparkley Guy Fawlkes' face.