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Thread: The Favored

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    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Derjuin's Avatar

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    Default The Favored


    The Favored is a comic I'm doing in my free time between my work schedule and hectic things at home. It is planned to be a mix of sci-fi and fantasy to a degree, with things leaning further toward modern sci-fi (optimistically, 30-50 years in the future). I'm planning on updating at LEAST once per week, if not more often.

    Without further ado, here it is!

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    Last edited by Derjuin; 2011-10-12 at 01:54 AM.

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    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The Favored

    Awesome first comic!

    The art is decent, and the references abound. *cookie to those who get them.*
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    Default Re: The Favored

    Aaargh my eyes
    That red lettering on the grey wall is murder. Otherwise great comic.
    I get no cookie.

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    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: The Favored

    Yeah, nice start! Interested to see where it goes.

    I'm a bit concerned about your text order. In the 7th panel, it looks like she's all "forget this" because she's not getting a reply. But she gets a reply before she's all "forget this", it looks like she actually interrupts them after they've been talking for a little while.
    The same problem is in the next panel. It seems like she should be saying "Wait, what..." after she's told to watch her step, not before.

    It might be that it's back to front because you're actually laying clues to future plot (why she might be disappointed to be welcomed, for example). If not, you should be more careful with your bubble placement!
    Last edited by Oppolo; 2011-09-15 at 03:40 AM.

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    Default Re: The Favored

    Quote Originally Posted by fizzybobnewt View Post
    Aaargh my eyes
    That red lettering on the grey wall is murder. Otherwise great comic.
    I get no cookie.
    i think tooo same.. nice comic
    link to my comic look at spoiler -Update 30.4.13

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    http://s111.photobucket.com/albums/n159/Akrim13/PonyAvatars/#!cpZZ2QQtppZZ24

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    Quote Originally Posted by Akrim.elf View Post
    i think tooo same.. nice comic
    Quote Originally Posted by fizzybobnewt View Post
    Aaargh my eyes
    That red lettering on the grey wall is murder. Otherwise great comic.
    I get no cookie.
    Thanks

    SEELEY cares not for your ophthalmological concerns! On a serious note, would a brighter red be better?

    Quote Originally Posted by Oppolo View Post
    Yeah, nice start! Interested to see where it goes.

    I'm a bit concerned about your text order. In the 7th panel, it looks like she's all "forget this" because she's not getting a reply. But she gets a reply before she's all "forget this", it looks like she actually interrupts them after they've been talking for a little while.
    The same problem is in the next panel. It seems like she should be saying "Wait, what..." after she's told to watch her step, not before.

    It might be that it's back to front because you're actually laying clues to future plot (why she might be disappointed to be welcomed, for example). If not, you should be more careful with your bubble placement!
    Thanks!

    Bubble placement specifically for the 7th and 8th panels was an issue I tried to resolve before posting it - in the 7th, they're supposed to be speaking at about the same time, the voice from behind the door starting slightly before the character. It then passes to the 8th panel, where she says "...wait, what?" because she wasn't actually listening, having already been disappointed (thus the overlap in panel 7). It was really hard for me to actually illustrate this, and I bounced ideas back and forth between me and a friend for a while (an hour or three) on how better to do so.

    However, further installments should have better bubble placement (unless it's meant to inspire confusion ).
    Last edited by Derjuin; 2011-09-15 at 11:52 AM.

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    Default Re: The Favored

    Looks good.
    when i first saw the thread title i thought: thats a nice title. probably a nice Fan comic too.

    and then i saw little under it: Derjuin made it? oh this must be realy good!

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    Quote Originally Posted by super dark33 View Post
    Looks good.
    when i first saw the thread title i thought: thats a nice title. probably a nice Fan comic too.

    and then i saw little under it: Derjuin made it? oh this must be realy good!
    Thanks

    Update! Page TWOOOOOOOO

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    SEELEY CARES for your ophthalmological concerns!

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    The letters could've been adjusting to anyone entering's surname, though.
    The Pen is mightier than the Sword - when the message is written in Blood.

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    New page is up!

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    Default Re: The Favored

    Great/neat comic. Of course.

    This nepotism is really killing our society. Trained and educated super-soldiers can't get no job, but fifteen years old with important moms get enlisted for special projects. ;)
    The Pen is mightier than the Sword - when the message is written in Blood.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Andre View Post
    Great/neat comic. Of course.

    This nepotism is really killing our society. Trained and educated super-soldiers can't get no job, but fifteen years old with important moms get enlisted for special projects. ;)
    I agree, my cousin is a cyber/chemically enhanced super soldier. He stands eight feet tall, he can outrun a motorcycle at a dead sprint, punch through concrete, and stand up to concentrated small arms fire without the assistance of special armor, but all he does is sit around at home controlling the TV with his mind because his spot on Raptor Team Seven was filled by a General's nephew.

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    Apologies, there might be a bit of a delay on the next one, sickness resembling the flu is killing me right now...

    Quote Originally Posted by Andre View Post
    Great/neat comic. Of course.

    This nepotism is really killing our society. Trained and educated super-soldiers can't get no job, but fifteen years old with important moms get enlisted for special projects. ;)
    Well, she technically qualifies for the mysterious standards of the project's enlistment requirements...

    Quote Originally Posted by BRC View Post
    I agree, my cousin is a cyber/chemically enhanced super soldier. He stands eight feet tall, he can outrun a motorcycle at a dead sprint, punch through concrete, and stand up to concentrated small arms fire without the assistance of special armor, but all he does is sit around at home controlling the TV with his mind because his spot on Raptor Team Seven was filled by a General's nephew.
    Clearly he's the secret pawn of RT7 in Operation: Change the Channel without Grandpa Noticing.
    Last edited by Derjuin; 2011-09-22 at 07:34 PM.

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    Default Re: The Favored

    Waiting ain't a problem. By the way, obligatory poor quality "get better soon" panel.

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    ...not to be delivered until you recover.
    The Pen is mightier than the Sword - when the message is written in Blood.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Andre View Post
    Waiting ain't a problem. By the way, obligatory poor quality "get better soon" panel.

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    ...not to be delivered until you recover.
    D'aw, thanks! I'm feeling better now (for the most part), but I've just been informed that I will be moving by Friday, so I am not sure if I will have time until the weekend to post an update.

    Terribly sorry everyone I will try to get this back on track as soon as I can.

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    Bluh!

    I am incredibly sorry everyone. I just moved a few days ago, and I still have no internet for my main computer (and no way to transfer files). However, tomorrow I will (hopefully) have either a way to connect my main computer to the internet, or will have a way to transfer files. Hopefully then an update will happen.

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    Orc in the Playground
     
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    Hmmm... so far I like what I'm seeing. Some exposition will be necessary, but I suppose that will happen soon; the comic is still in its infancy. I think I'll keep an eye on this one. Good job!
    私のホバークラフトは鰻でいっぱいです
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    Quote Originally Posted by dragongirl13 View Post
    Hmmm... so far I like what I'm seeing. Some exposition will be necessary, but I suppose that will happen soon; the comic is still in its infancy. I think I'll keep an eye on this one. Good job!
    Thanks! Yeah, I'm still trying to get everything figured out as far as my schedule goes, so time to work on the comic is kinda...not-established and rather fluid.

    Also! NEW PAGE WOO

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    Default Re: The Favored

    The newest page reminds me of Neon Genesis Evangelion with Shinji and Rei in the opening.

    I love this comic.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terry576 View Post
    The newest page reminds me of Neon Genesis Evangelion with Shinji and Rei in the opening.

    I love this comic.
    Haha, that's exactly what I thought. I assume the reference is intentional, what with the ******** parent forcing their child into war too.

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    This comic is the best of the lot so far, there are several graphic tricks that are really noteworthy.
    The Pen is mightier than the Sword - when the message is written in Blood.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Terry576 View Post
    The newest page reminds me of Neon Genesis Evangelion with Shinji and Rei in the opening.

    I love this comic.
    Quote Originally Posted by Oppolo View Post
    Haha, that's exactly what I thought. I assume the reference is intentional, what with the ******** parent forcing their child into war too.
    Thanks! But I shall remain mysteriously silent on any and all references that may appear to ...appear, in the comic (at least for now, unless there's some huge outcry or something.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Andre View Post
    This comic is the best of the lot so far, there are several graphic tricks that are really noteworthy.
    This one also took the longest to make, discounting moving/being sick time. However, on the plus side, things are starting to not look down, so updates might be more common in the future!

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    Well, SOMEONE'S mother is a distinct manipulative prick...

    Then again, we wouldn't have a story if she didn't play along...
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    I am happy that my mother ainīt like that. Nice comic.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    Well, SOMEONE'S mother is a distinct manipulative prick...

    Then again, we wouldn't have a story if she didn't play along...
    Quote Originally Posted by Ninjaman View Post
    I am happy that my mother ainīt like that. Nice comic.
    Thanks!

    She (the Commander) does not seem to be displaying the most positive traits at the moment, no.

    It also just occurred to me that I forgot to give the first 4 comics titles, and though part of me wants to leave them without titles, it would add an additional place to make references/tell a story/etc...

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    Just letting anyone know who might still be waiting for an update:

    I seem to have, unfortunately, shuffled this project further back on my list of things to do, so I'm putting it in temporary hiatus. When I actually have the drive to do more, I'll update it, but I don't know when that will be. Sorry everyone.

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