Paladin Academy II: Crystal's got an Upgrade

[super dark33]

Ill remind you, the golem was about to burst out of the ruins.

[The Succubus]

I vaguely recalling making a comment in the Roleplaying section that Paladins taste like chocolate. I humbly request an opportunity to test this theory.

[Lix Lorn]

I vaguely recalling making a comment in the Roleplaying section that Paladins taste like chocolate. I humbly request an opportunity to test this theory.

Okay. :3
...
Although my character is far too single minded. Bother.

[super dark33]

Okay. :3
...
Although my character is far too single minded. Bother.

Hmmm....
not sure if Strawberry changed her name to Lix Lorn, or Lix Lorn uses Strawberry's avatar.

[The Succubus]

Hmmm....
not sure if Strawberry changed her name to Lix Lorn, or Lix Lorn uses Strawberry's avatar.

Yes.


>:)

[Silverraptor]

If you guys do want to set up a FFRP game about this, I would be happy to watch it as an impartial judge. I'll just step in and clarify anything that might get confused or explain things you may have questions about. You don't even have to use your character from the story and can change them any way you want.

Just let me know (By pm) the premise and any long storylines anyone wants to start. I can review over all your plans and tell you what will work and what can't. And it would certainly be:
A) A good read for me.
B) Probably get me back into the swing of the story and possibly (Almost positively sure, depends on extreme degrees of lazyness) start updating this with much more regularity and frequency.
C) May reveal some upcoming things in the story*

*Some restrictions may apply. Really important plot points will not be divulged. Batteries not included.

[Lateral]

Not dead! Yes!

[Nergalus]

I would like to write a short story abut my paladin design, the first paladin with a shield, I hope you aprove silver

[Nergalus]

Ok first of all I apologize in advance for any gramatical horror you may find, im not an amateur writer nor claim to be anything close to it :p

plz be gentle this is my first time

Spoiler

Show

It was a hot day in the great desert, the wind carried only dry air and sand. the sun, up and high was blazing brighter than ever.


4 cloaked figures awaited, hiding behind a big sand dune.

As they waited one of them spoke:

This heat is unbereable, do you really think hes coming this way? there are other ways to get to the west, easier ways?


He´ll come, this is the shortest way, and from what the master said, this guy doesnt fool around.

So you really think it need to be us four to take him? I mean reallY?

Well, we are here following orders from the master and so we will follow them.

In any case (spoke he 4th)whoever this is, he´s toast, specially with us four on this enviroment

I sense him, here he comes!

Another figure came from the desert, walkin heavily in armor, as carrying a heavy burden, the man face was covered by a scarf and on his waist a sword was sheated

They waited, barely making a sound, readiying a stance from behind the dunes, waiting for the right moment and then, they attacked

It all happened too fast, one of the slashed his sword upward, making a stream of sand to shoot out from the ground, the other thrusted forward with his blade and a jet of fire blazed towards he man, a smaller figure, the female ripped through her cloak as she turn into a blue dragon and from above launched a spray of acid from her maw. there where a huge explosion from the coliding forces of the 3 attacks, suddenly everything became silent.

Amonst the dust cloud nothing could be seen

Well, that was easy, said a young girl as she turn to her human form

Wait, something wrong!

Before any more could be said, from the cloud a sword flew and stabbed the girl in the throat, with surprise in their eyes the rest of them saw, as the man, came from the dust cloud as if flying with great speed pulling himslef toward his blade with a arc of lightning. As he took his weapon again he swong it against onother target striking deep into the chest, this time the remainig two reacted and stroke with everything the got at the man´s exposed back, something was terribly wrong, the blades were stoped by an invisible force, inches away from even touching the man´s armor, he swung again, this time, as they where ready to dodge the mans sword took a strange turn in the air, as if following his target body with a mind of its own, the blade stuck true and then there was only one.

Who are you? how did you do that? why can we hit you?!

The last warrior slashed forward releasing another stream of sand, the man extended one hand and a barrier of electricity deflected the attack.

With his hand still extended he close his fist and with a terrible scream the armor of the remaing warrior was crushed and he within it.

Then Nergalus spoke:

Damn you Mordokai for making me do this, but you will soon pay for your crimes, I´ll make sure you do

[super dark33]

Ok first of all I apologize in advance for any gramatical horror you may find, im not an amateur writer nor claim to be anything close to it :p

plz be gentle this is my first time

Spoiler

Show

It was a hot day in the great desert, the wind carried only dry air and sand. the sun, up and high was blazing brighter than ever.


4 cloaked figures awaited, hiding behind a big sand dune.

As they waited one of them spoke:

This heat is unbereable, do you really think hes coming this way? there are other ways to get to the west, easier ways?


He´ll come, this is the shortest way, and from what the master said, this guy doesnt fool around.

So you really think it need to be us four to take him? I mean reallY?

Well, we are here following orders from the master and so we will follow them.

In any case (spoke he 4th)whoever this is, he´s toast, specially with us four on this enviroment

I sense him, here he comes!

Another figure came from the desert, walkin heavily in armor, as carrying a heavy burden, the man face was covered by a scarf and on his waist a sword was sheated

They waited, barely making a sound, readiying a stance from behind the dunes, waiting for the right moment and then, they attacked

It all happened too fast, one of the slashed his sword upward, making a stream of sand to shoot out from the ground, the other thrusted forward with his blade and a jet of fire blazed towards he man, a smaller figure, the female ripped through her cloak as she turn into a blue dragon and from above launched a spray of acid from her maw. there where a huge explosion from the coliding forces of the 3 attacks, suddenly everything became silent.

Amonst the dust cloud nothing could be seen

Well, that was easy, said a young girl as she turn to her human form

Wait, something wrong!

Before any more could be said, from the cloud a sword flew and stabbed the girl in the throat, with surprise in their eyes the rest of them saw, as the man, came from the dust cloud as if flying with great speed pulling himslef toward his blade with a arc of lightning. As he took his weapon again he swong it against onother target striking deep into the chest, this time the remainig two reacted and stroke with everything the got at the man´s exposed back, something was terribly wrong, the blades were stoped by an invisible force, inches away from even touching the man´s armor, he swung again, this time, as they where ready to dodge the mans sword took a strange turn in the air, as if following his target body with a mind of its own, the blade stuck true and then there was only one.

Who are you? how did you do that? why can we hit you?!

The last warrior slashed forward releasing another stream of sand, the man extended one hand and a barrier of electricity deflected the attack.

With his hand still extended he close his fist and with a terrible scream the armor of the remaing warrior was crushed and he within it.

Then Nergalus spoke:

Damn you Mordokai for making me do this, but you will soon pay for your crimes, I´ll make sure you do

Not fully understanding the plot, but still nicely written.

I think i might probably write my own fanfic about the feud between the blue and the black mages, whose names can only be pronounced by mages, and if a normal humen tries, the only words coming out of his mouth are the color of the mage: Blue, Black and so forth.
there are 16 mages. each haveing his own paladin order, that relies on its own source of power.

[Nergalus]

Not fully understanding the plot, but still nicely written.

Thanks, well basicly, they are paladins sent to ambush and take down another warrior who turns out to be another paladin, one who thinks is on the side of good, and is in fact hunting down Mordokai for "crimes" he aparently commited

[super dark33]

oh okay.
i see you picked bold black as your colour.
you can have it.
ill have Bold Black in Palatino Linotype

[Grim ranger]

If there is FFRP about Paladin Academy, I sure as heck would want to join in on it... I wonder how easy it would be for me, however, given that Grim is Deader Than Dead at this point

[Viera Champion]

If there is FFRP about Paladin Academy, I sure as heck would want to join in on it... I wonder how easy it would be for me, however, given that Grim is Deader Than Dead at this point

Ohmigod same.

[Silverraptor]

Well, get to it guys, or do you want me to start it. And you guys don't have to have it related to the plot at all if you don't want to.

[Silverraptor]

Paladin Academy: Chapter 2: Part 19
-Cast-
Rabbit
Recaiden

Spoiler

Show

Rabbit and Recaiden both stood facing each other ready to fight. Each of them were analyzing the other's stance for any flaws. Recaiden couldn't see any with the paladin before him making him increase his guard. Rabbit also saw no flaws with her opponents stance either. She wished the other paladins she taught were this skilled.

Suddenly, a loud roar cause them both to look with their eyes, but not moving from their stance at all. Recaiden saw that the golem was falling back after being hit from a section of the fortress itself. It then got up clumsily, showing a large crack along its face. It seemed that Sarudark's construct was starting to be picked apart, meaning Recaiden was running out of time. He knew he had to make the first move. He gripped both his short sword and dagger, knowing that only the dagger had poison on it still.

He looked back at the paladin at the same time she looked back at him. He then charged at her to test her skill and swordplay. The paladin parried the blow and swung around to return her own. Recaiden quickly bought both his short sword and dagger to block the blow. Had he been a second slower, the fight would've been over right there and then. His unease heightened as he realized that everything the paladin had done was perfect. Balance, weight, speed, everything was without flaw.

However, instead of paying attention to him, the paladin was looking down at his dagger that was crimson with blood.
"That blood... who is...?"

The edge of Recaiden's mouth twitched.
"The girl down there with the fire. She's not long for this world."

The paladin looked back at him with fury in her eyes. This however was the same cold fury that he had used just a moment ago, the fury that the person controlled.
"You're definitely not getting out of this fortress alive."

"We'll see about that."
He then tried to break out of his hold and dance around the paladin's defenses. However, Rabbit managed to keep him back with a few swings, never revealing any weakness for him to exploit. Again, Recaiden could find no flaw in her form.

He then decided to try a risky move. Lunging forward, he swung his sword at her's, trying to knock it aside. Once he did that, he then swung the dagger at her. As he expected, she started to dodge the swing by bending backwards with incredible flexibility. Still using the momentum of the swing, he twisted around and swept his leg around to trip her, knowing that she was in no position to dodge. However, before his eyes, she not only recovered from the trip attempt, she managed to gracefully right herself as if she was never tripped at all.

He jumped back a few feet, calculating his opponent again. Another loud roar was heard in the distance.
"How are you able to do this?"

The paladin smiled a triumphant smile.
"Perfection, my dear. My moves are without flaws."
Recaiden's eyes then rested on the light brown crystal set in her sword.

"So, your power is perfection, is it?"
He reached into a pocket and grabbed hold of something. He wanted this fight to be over.
"Then that must mean you have the perfect cough then."
He suddenly threw a vial at her feet. The moment it shattered, a cloud of smoke instantly shot up and engulfed her. Recaiden took this chance to run for the wall.

Rabbit coughed a couple times before lunging out of the smoke. After a few more coughs, she cleared he throat enough to look around. She saw the glimpse of movement go over the wall with a grappling hook held fast to the wall's edge. She hurried over and peered over just in time to see Recaiden drop the last 6 feet to the ground and disappear into the treeline. She hit the side of the wall hard with her fist.
"Dammit!"

[Silverraptor]

I'm sure many of you who still have this thread subscribed to saw this appear and thought, "Huh? Haven't seen this thread pop up in a while." And you'd be right. You see this post above me, yes, it is the new part. It is done; finished.

How did this happen? How did he get past his writers block? Well, let me tell you arbitrary person in my room, it all started a while back, about 2 weeks ago. In one of my other random posts, I glanced at my own signature and saw the link to this playground inspired story. I decided I wanted to think about it again and clicked on the link, almost instantly, I was worried because for some reason every time I started thinking about this story again, one of you would post something.

For some strange reason that I can't explain, this would frighten me and put the story out of mind. However, well I logged in the next day, I saw no new post and breathed a huge sigh of relief. I then decided to enjoy reading about the past around the fight scene with Grim. I was grinning with pleasure at everyone sitting around wondering and guessing at what was to happen and the shock at realizing Grim's secret from all the hints I left behind before I revealed it in the next part. I kept reading through the pasts and the part until I came to the death scene. I nearly vomited all over my keyboard (Figuratively. I would never actually allow myself to vomit onto my laptop (I love you so much! Yes I do!) *Ahem*).

Why? Because I had taken an English class between the last time I was writing parts, and I realized I had made a number of errors within that part and I regarded it as one of my best, most thought out part. So I decided, I wanted to go through each part and review and edit each one, omitting unnecessary words, fixing grammar, and changing a few things to make the story flow more smoothly. When I started off, I had a huge eraser in one hand, for many errors were found in those early parts. However, as I got towards the middle section of the first chapter, there were fewer and fewer errors. This surprised me as it seemed my writing style improved as I was writing each part. In addition, while reading through every post of both threads, I realized why you guys actually read this story to begin with.

I'll admit, it had crossed my mind that people were only reading this because they would "Appear" in the story and that's all they cared about and I was not a good writer at all. But as I read through the parts, since it had been so long, it seemed as if someone else had written it and I was sucked into reading it myself. As I read, more and more of forgotten planning and events started coming back to me as I enjoyed reading my own work all the way through for the first time. I then fell into a routine every evening, about an hour before bed start working my way through the thread between every one of your posts and editing every part along the way. It was a enjoyable experience.

Tonight, I had finished editing the last few parts and realized that my attempts at writing this part was all wrong. I re-evaluated where I left off and decided on where I wanted to focus on the action next. After that, I just began to write, to actually finish another part finally after a year of letting you all down.

I want to apologize to all of you for letting myself get away from this story I started for all of you. If you would place forgiveness in me, and if I can put faith in myself, I would be happy and honored to try to begin working on Paladin Academy again.

(Also note, I have some friends who have not read paladin academy at all who are *Suppose* to be reading through all the parts to make sure all my edits fit chronologically and free of errors. I say "Suppose" because they all said they'd be happy to do that for me, and yet every time I asked them they'd say they haven't gotten to it yet.)

[BladeofObliviom]

No, Blade. It's just 2 in the morning and you're hallucinating or dreaming. This probably isn't real...


...If it is, though, yay!

[Partysan]

If you were anywhere near me, I swear to the god of being sworn to, I'd throw you a party. With my best cooking and all.


... Now on to break my own writer's blocks...

[Lix Lorn]

A post? Prolly a pixie begging to be in or someone whining for new OMGWTFBBQ

[ThePhantom]

Excellent. Thanks for the new part.

[super dark33]

Oh how i missed this amazing detailed battle writing of yours!
I hope you will make another part.

[Silverraptor]

Paladin Academy: Chapter 2: Part 20
-Cast-
Sarudark
Blue

Spoiler

Show

Sarudark had picked himself off the floor and rushed towards the crystal orb. He quickly put the piece of chalk to the crack and was running down it as if to seal it with the chalk.
"No no no no no!"
The orb suddenly refocused the image contained in it to show what the golem was seeing, while still having the deep crack over the view. Sarudark trace a rune along the glass surface of the orb. The rune disappeared, but nothing happened.
"Come on! Get up!"
The golem slowly and clumsily got to its feet. Sarudark's face flared with anger as the golem looked around. However, Blue was no where to be seen.
"Where'd you go Blue! You've thrown your punch, so this fight is on now!"
Some movement out of the corner of the golem's eye caused it to turn around. Blue was floating about 40 feet away at the golem's eye level. Blue light was twisting itself around him for a moment before it shot out at the golem. It slashed across the golem, yet there was no effect. Sarudark twirled the chalk and the golem began to lunge at Blue. Just before the arm was about to hit Blue, he disappeared in mid-air, only to reappear instantly 10 feet above the golem's head. He twirled his staff and an orb of blue light appeared. He then pointed his staff forward, causing the orb to shoot forward and explode with electricity. Some electricity shot out of the orb, cause Sarudark to shield himself with his arms. Without his direction, the golem began to fall like a dropped puppet. Quickly, Sarudark placed his chalk back onto the orb's surface and the golem began to react again.

Unknown to anyone, Blue's mind was running extremely fast. If anyone were to hear his thoughts out loud, they would be going too fast to comprehend all that was going through his mind.
Contact with construct's skin can't be overwhelmed by force; Designed to take a lot of head on magic; Appears to be controlled remotely rather than set to auto-pilot; Can't reprogram purpose of spell; Could try to give it conflicting commands; Remote access seems to be infused allowing spells to travel through; Based on that observation and elemental purpose, spell must start with 'E-' and have '-rian-' somewhere in the middle of the incantation;
He flicked his staff and shot another strand of blue light at the golem, causing it to sink into the rock skin of the golem. Just as the golem began to swing its arm again at blue, a sudden blue light exploded, causing a large fissure to shoot up along the golem's chest. It issued a roar as large chunks of rock began to fall off of it.
As expected no defense from within the core; The rock is not mending suggesting it is a throw-away construct; Remote connection is being used through an external object minus 15 natural material; Spell foundation 'Esaurian'; Construct still stands so there must be more to the spell;

Far away off, Sarudark stared in horror as the crack along the orb intensify and expand until several cracks spread out from it to nearly all the corners of the orb.
"Im-Impossible! He couldn't have deconstructed my spell so quickly!"
His grip increased over the chalk as he stared at it in desperation.
"Think! There has to be something I can use to stop him!"
He then quickly inscribed a rune along the surface of the orb. The golem roared and opened its mouth. It exhaled a large red light that shot straight towards Blue.

Blue teleported again only to hover somewhere else. His eye's were slanted into that of disgust. His thoughts were no longer moving at light speed, but slowed down as if he reached his conclusion.
Of course. Well that would explain the final piece for the spell. You have always put '-us' at the end of your spells for personal taste.
He then held out the end of his staff towards to golem as it turned around, it stopped inches from the tip of his staff. Blue finally spoke aloud for the first time, directing his words toward the golem.
"To think that you have come to meddle in others' affairs to cause pain and chaos. I am sickened to have once called you friend, Sarudark!"
A flash of blue light exploded from the end of his staff. The golem then shattered and crumbled to the ground as nothing but a mound of earth.

Far away, a flash of blue light caused the orb to shatter, causing Sarudark to fly back once again. He stared with his mouth open as the remains of his crystal ball lay littered across the room. Something dripped onto his hand and he looked down to see his own blood. It was then he realized he had been cut by the shrapnel from the orb exploding. He sat there for a moment before rage welled up inside him. His hand clenched and broke the piece of chalk he was holding in half before he issued an angry bellow that reverberated off the walls of his hideout.

[Silverraptor]

Interesting fact, the idea of him to think super fast came to me from when Kira would reprogram his mobile suit in Gundam seed.

[BladeofObliviom]

Blue is apparently a member of the Izzet League. I strongly approve.

[super dark33]

Note: Paladins or any other mortal cant pronounce Sarudark, instead they say Black.
This also takes effect with Green, Red, Blue and other wizards.

Only Sarudark knows the real name of Blue, but this wont really do anything but piss blue off.


How is this little useless piece of lore?

[Silverraptor]

Note: Paladins or any other mortal cant pronounce Sarudark, instead they say Black.
This also takes effect with Green, Red, Blue and other wizards.

Only Sarudark knows the real name of Blue, but this wont really do anything but piss blue off.


How is this little useless piece of lore?

Just that, useless since Recaiden already said his name aloud.

[Hiro Protagonest]

In the first section, it said the golem "began lunge" at Blue.

Also, I thought Blue didn't use direct damage spells.

[Silverraptor]

In the first section, it said the golem "began lunge" at Blue.

Also, I thought Blue didn't use direct damage spells.

He doesn't. He also didn't. I'll explain more later.

[5a Violista]

It's a great story. I've read them up so far, and I love it!

Here's a couple of ideas for titles of these two:

Chapter 19: Impeccable Flaw

Chapter 20: Power to Make a Difference

What do y'all think of these titles?