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Thread: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
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2013-11-20, 10:26 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
Same here. I have a bunch of things that I really want to write at the moment but I'm utterly swamped. I am already entered in the Iron Poet contest though
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2013-12-04, 01:17 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
So...how would folks feel about posting links to PbP games and asking for critique on the writing style, flow, and characterization of their posts therein? ESPECIALLY characterization?
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2013-12-05, 09:57 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
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2013-12-05, 04:04 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
Yay!
Here's the setting information if you want it.
And here's Nail. The events of this thread take place sometime after the Moontown Massacre snippet.
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2013-12-10, 05:48 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
Hey guys, it's late, and I can't sleep. This scene has been in my head for ages while I was working on the Crossroads setting (There's a link in my sig, /shamelessplug). I wrote it in one sitting and I only went over it once. This is my first actual snippet posted to this thread, and the actually the first time I've sat down and actually written prose in a long time. Let me know if it's any good. Maybe I'll come back with more some other night I can't sleep.
SpoilerThe cold wind gusted through the snow-covered pines, the sound of it haunting and sad. Two massive, shaggy mammoths lay huddled against one another for warmth in the moonlight, their calf between them, the blowing snow binding to their dark fur. Inside the caribou-skin hut beside them, the fire was warm and bright, but the mood was not. A woman clutched her weeping son, sobs wracking his small frame as his father tried not to look at him while he prepared. His war-bow was strung, stone-headed arrows piled nearby. He focused his attention on the wooden shaft that was rapidly becoming a spear as he fit the antler’s point to its tip. He wound a thin leather strap around the head and the shaft, tightly. The spear had to be strong. He had to be strong.
The son still wept, face twisted in sorrow and anger as he buried it in his mother’s furred clothing, tears disappearing into the fur. Her hand gently cradled the boy’s head as she softly sang a soothing song, wordless but somehow reassuring. Her deep brown eyes were aimed to the packed earth floor of the hut, the emotion of her song not reaching them. Silently, the father gathered up his weapons and rose to his feet, turning to the door. He took a deep breath, steeling himself, but couldn’t help but look one last time upon the wife and son he was leaving behind. His eyes stung, but he told himself it was the smoke from the fire. He turned back to the door and ducked his head, pushing through the leather flap that kept the cold out.
Outside, the man headed over to the huddled mammoths, and whistled sharply. They stirred with a rumbling snort from their uneasy sleep. Another whistle, and the male snorted again, shifting as he rose to his massive feet. The calf huddled closer to its mother against the cold instinctively, but as the bulk of it’s father moved away, it raised its head, squeaking in confusion, calling out. The male approached the father, the father’s hand reaching up to pet the mammoth’s furred trunk once or twice, a moment of affection before moving to the beast’s side and taking ahold of it’s shaggy fur. He clambered up the side of the wooly beast until he settled in to sit atop the creature, half-laying on the beast’s back as he urged it to move with a thump of his boots. Ponderously the male moved forward, lumbering through the trees. Its calf trumpeted after it, first softly, then louder as the parent ignored it’s cries. It tromped off deeper into the forest, the dense shadows swallowing its bulk. The mother curled her trunk around the baby, pulling it close as its cries grew quieter once more, the baby whimpering softly in the pale light.
The boy cried for many hours, but eventually, mother and child fell asleep, and the fire went out, leaving only softly-glowing embers in the fire pit. There was movement in the darkness, though. The boy shifted in his sleeping bag, and slowly, quietly, slipped free of it. He pulls on his warm leathers in the darkness, freezing in place each time he made a sound, checking if his carelessness woke his mother. Silently as possible, he filled a small bag with jerky, and grabbed his hunting bow, much smaller than his father’s war bow. He slipped out the flap into the dark, snowy landscape. The footprints left by his father are the easiest path to walk, and he hops awkwardly from one to the next, unable to match his father’s long strides. Silently he made his way to the mammoth youngster, and lay a mitten-covered hand on its side, gently shaking it awake. It grumbled softly, and he urged it to be silent as he took it by the trunk and gently, but insistently, led it out from its resting place against its mother’s side, the female mammoth still sleeping. He awkwardly climbed up the side of the smaller beast and urged it forward, much the same way his father did. The pair followed the deep footprints left by their fathers into the dark woods. Light glittered off the young boy’s cheeks. He told himself it’s just the cold wind stinging his eyes as he looked forward down the moon-shadowed path leading deeper into the woods.Last edited by Admiral Squish; 2014-01-20 at 09:09 PM.
My Homebrew
Five-time champion of the GITP monster competition!
Current Projects:
Crossroads: the New World: A pathfinder campaign setting about an alternate history of North America, where five empire collide in a magical land full of potential. On the road to publication!
Epic Avatar and Sigitar by AlterForm
Spoiler
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2013-12-10, 07:29 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
Squish! Welcome back to the Snippet!
Scientific Name: Wombous apocolypticus | Diet: Apocolypse Pie | Cuddly: Yes
World Building Projects:
Magic: The Stuff of Sentience | Fate: The Fabric of Physics | Luck: The Basis of Biology
Order of the Stick Projects:
Annotation of the Comic | Magic Compendium of the Comic | Transcription of the Comic
Dad-a-chum? Dum-a-chum? Ded-a-chek? Did-a-chick?
Extended Signature | My DeviantArt | Majora's Mask Point Race
(you can't take the sky from me)
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2013-12-10, 10:50 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Dec 2007
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- On my back, in my heart
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Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
My Homebrew
Five-time champion of the GITP monster competition!
Current Projects:
Crossroads: the New World: A pathfinder campaign setting about an alternate history of North America, where five empire collide in a magical land full of potential. On the road to publication!
Epic Avatar and Sigitar by AlterForm
Spoiler
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2013-12-20, 09:37 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2007
Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
'Kay, so I keep meaning to write but never quite managing to get around to it. Maybe if I take a request it'll work out better! So, would you prefer to read (Presented in the format of "Title [Character]":
- The Cafeteria Incident [Codename: GARM]
- Origins [The Kinslayer]
- Legend [Commander Kyllan "The Mongoose" Hammerson]
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2013-12-20, 10:04 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2012
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- Aldain
- Gender
Scientific Name: Wombous apocolypticus | Diet: Apocolypse Pie | Cuddly: Yes
World Building Projects:
Magic: The Stuff of Sentience | Fate: The Fabric of Physics | Luck: The Basis of Biology
Order of the Stick Projects:
Annotation of the Comic | Magic Compendium of the Comic | Transcription of the Comic
Dad-a-chum? Dum-a-chum? Ded-a-chek? Did-a-chick?
Extended Signature | My DeviantArt | Majora's Mask Point Race
(you can't take the sky from me)
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2014-01-04, 01:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
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- Boulder, CO
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Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
Sorry it's taken me so long to get back in here, everyone. Holidays were crazy (good crazy, but still crazy).
Admiral Squish
Glad to see you finally posting something in here!
Spoiler: CommentsHis war-bow was strung, stone-headed arrows piled nearby as he focused his attention on the wooden shaft that was rapidly becoming a spear as he fit the antler’s point to it‘s tip.
The calf huddled closer to it’s mother
Ponderously the male moved forward, walking through the trees.
the fire went out, leaving over softly-glowing embers in the fire pit.
There is movement in the darkness, though.
He tells himself it’s just the cold wind stinging his eyes
Lord_Gareth
I, too, would like to see more of The Kinslayer. My vote is for Origins!
Spoiler: Characterization Comments (Nail)I've read through Nail's PbP; it was very enjoyable. In general, her characterization is solid and consistent. The single thing I found a bit strange was the current plan, in light of Nail's reaction to hearing that some of Natasha's people had joined the other side--if she values oaths so strongly, I found it odd that her first idea would be to try to get mob members to betray each other. Obviously it seems likely to work, but it also makes it seem that she values some oaths more than others, which is counter to what I'd thought up until that point. If I had more to go on, I'd probably be able to come up with more, but rather than try to come up with more specific comments about Nail, I'm going to give you the impression of her that I get, just from reading that PbP.
Nail is mostly soft-spoken and polite, and her voice has a musical lilt to it. She prefers to do her dirty work by-the-book, to keep her official legal record spotless, but her work is vicious and she enjoys it. However, she's deeply unhappy about the person she is.
She is proud, and careful, and she responds well to brazen, honest bravado. She takes oaths extremely seriously, even implied promises or those between mortals. She's extremely passionate, quick to anger, and resorts to violence easily.
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2014-01-04, 08:56 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
Alright, I need to stretch out my writing muscles. So, here is a little short that I been messing around with in my head. It might be a bit messy, but I hope you like it.
Spoiler: The Modern Bard: Advent Villain
I have been investigating every lead for months and have run into nothing but dead ends. I haven't heard anything back from Thazar or his friend. The colder the trail gets, the less likely I will ever find my target, and this trail is freezing.
"Meow." Lucky gets up from her bed and follows me as I walk into the living room. My place is practically empty. I just have a desk, a television, a folding chair, a mattress, and a pillow that functions as Lucky's cat bed. No decorations like posters or photos. No plates and glasses for company. I don't even keep my tools for my trade here. I keep that in "The Office".
My home serves as a place where I can unwind, and I can't unwind in clutter.
"Meow."
"What" I ask in a low voice. I haven't been taking good care of myself lately. Every waking hour has been spent chasing down every thread I can pick up. No matter how thin.
"MEOW!"
"Fine, fine. What do you want."
"Meow."
"I know we are running out of money."
"Meow."
"I know I need to take a job."
"Meow."
"I know I need to sleep. I got an idea. How about you stop telling me things I already know!" I throw the folding chair across the room to add literal impact with my words.
"... Meow." Lucky takes a seat on top of the TV starts batting her paw at the screen. The room is so quiet I can hear the static buildup releasing from her touch.
"You're right. I need to rest." I lean against the wall and slump down. "I'm not angry at you. I'm just frustrated."
"Meow."
"I'm sorry." I pause for a moment to gather my thoughts. "I'll get some rest and tomorrow I will pick up some work. I'll leave this whole mess behind me."
Lucky jumps down from the TV and accidentally hits the power button when she lands on the floor. The screen flickers to life revealing an anchorman sitting behind a desk reading an urgent report.
"Well this should put me to sleep," I say with a laugh as Lucky curls up in my lap.
*****
"... armed gunmen invaded the House of Representatives and opened fire while The House was in session. It is unknown how many are injured or dead. We reached out to the Speaker of ..."
The screen flickers and the audio cuts out. Slowly the image of the news report fades to reveal the image of someone in a mask. The mask is divided black and white. The left half is completely black and the right half is white with a black crescent smile and a black almond shaped eye. A hood hides the rest of the person's features.
"Hello, friends." The voice is deep, masculine. He says the words slowly, as if he wants there meaning to have incredible weight. The camera sways slightly as he speaks, but stays close on his face, as if he is recording himself. "We are friends, right? I think we are, because I'm trying to help you."
"I'm sure you are wondering about what happened, and the why's and how's. Well, that is what I'm here helping you understand. You see, I sent some of my friends ... with guns ... to D.C. and told them to attack The House. You see, they thought they were all safe and sound with all their security and guards and everything. The problem there is that, the threat of death is only an effective deterrent when dying is not already part of the plan."
"Do you understand?"
"It really isn't that hard to understand. My friends went in ready to die. The plan was to kill as many as they can first."
"See. I'm helping you already." He laughs softly for a moment. "Now you know how it happened." The camera moves away from the mask and shows nothing but darkness. Feedback in the audio suggests that something is hitting the receiver.
The camera pans back to the mask a moment later and he says, "How did I get so many people willing to die in this mission?" The camera is now steady and the man in the mask is further away from it, revealing that he is dressed in a dark hooded robe. "It was really simple. I told them the truth."
"The truth is that no one in government does anything about anything until it impacts them. I'm sure you all know how gun control is so hot button lately. They use it for elections, and I used it to gather an army. I told them THE TRUTH!" He holds both hands in the air and spins around once while laughing loudly.
"I gathered people who had loved ones ... friends, family, neighbors ... that died because of guns, and told them ..." He pauses and looks over to his right.
"I want to introduce you to my new friend. Won't you come with and give him a warm welcome." He walks over to his right and the camera follows him close behind. After walking down some stairs the camera reveals a man tied up and gagged in a chair that is turned over on its side. He is struggling hard against his bindings and trying to scream through the gag. His eyes follow the masked man. They are open wide and his pupils are so dilated that you can't see the color.
"I picked up my new friend in the confusion of the attack. He is one of the lobbyists for the N.R.A. and has done a fine job at it, too." The masked man rubs his gloved hands through the hair of man tied up in the chair. He then grabs hold of the mans head and lifts him and the chair back to an upright position. The bound man screams through his gag in pain as he is lifted.
"They have a little slogan." The mask man walks off camera. While he is away the camera pans in close to the gagged man's face. "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." The man's eyes open wider. "I have to agree with them on that." His muffled screams become more panicked. "Guns are just tools, used by people." His struggling becomes more violent. "Without a person to hold it a gun can't kill anyone." The man closes his eyes tight and tears trickle down his cheeks. Everything becomes silent except for the sobs of the bound man. The silence is shattered by gunshot and muzzle flash. A burst of red emits from the side of the man's head and he slumps forward silent and still.
"Guns don't kill people, but they do make it easier." The camera pans to the masked man holding a revolver, smoke streams from the tip of the barrel. The masked man faces the camera. "Now everyone in Congress is a victim of gun violence. This means they are now properly motivated to do something about it."
He lowers his gun and moves in close to the camera. "There is no need to thank me. I am your friend, and I have done this to help you. Because I care."
"You're welcome."
The camera then cuts out and the news report replaces it.
"We are sorry for this ..."
*****
"Meow." Lucky stands up in my lap and places her front paws on my chest.
"What do you want me to do about it?" A public execution on TV is rare in the U.S. but sadly all too common in other parts of the world where I have conducted business. What happened is surely surprising, but didn't draw my attention any more than a mild curiosity.
"Meow."
"I'm not getting paid to chase him down, and last I checked, we are out of cat food and ramen."
"Meow." This time she adds emphasis by digging her claws into my chest.
"Hng. Alright, I will look into it." I submitted more easily than normal. "After I get some sleep. Is that okay with you, Princess Lucky?"
"Purr." She curls back up in my lap and goes to sleep. Sometimes I wonder who is really in charge here.
I just have to share this with you guys. I just saw a funny picture of a restaurant menu which shows "Stupid Questions - $0.38" and immediately two scenarios popped into my mind. So what follows is two different exchanges between a customer and a waiter. I shared it with the people on the forum I found it in, but anyway without further ado.
Spoiler
“Why is it thirty-eight cents?”
“That will be thirty-eight cents.”
“Wait! Are you charging me already?”
“That will be seventy-six cents.”
“How is that a stupid question?”
“That will be one dollar and fourteen cents.”
“But, I …”
“…”
(Sigh)“Is the sales tax included?”
“That will be one dollar and …”
“Nevermind. Here’s five dollars. Keep the change.”
(Another route)
“How do you charge people for stupid questions?”
“That will be thirty-eight cents.”
“Wait a second. I’m being charged for asking stupid questions. That doesn’t make sense. It is a menu item. When I ask for the coleslaw, you give me the coleslaw and I give you money. So, why are you charging me when I’m giving you the stupid question?”
“Alright, sir. Would you like to order the stupid question?”
“Sure. I’m curious to find out what I get for thirty-eight cents.”
“Why would you pay someone thirty-eight cents to hear them ask a question?”
“…”
“That will be thirty-eight cents.”
@DrBwaa
Critiques
Spoiler
He's young; no older than I am, but his face bears prominent traces of the sun and the sword.
If the man Clearly, there are elements at work here that I know nothing about,
Is the man named Clearly? Did you forget the period after "man"? I don't think it is the latter, because "If the man" is not a sentence.
I'm just confused here.
the only way to get answers is to ask questions.
That's as good a confirmation of my own thoughts as I'm likely to find anywhere.
I wonder for only a moment longer who this scarred man is,
He rises with surprising speed for someone with such a languorous approach to conversation.
It occurs to me briefly that this could be a trap.
All at once, he stops short.
Did that make sense? It's the best I can do to explain it. I know it isn't much, but it does bother me when I read it.
lit only by stray fire- and starlight.
In an instant, he raises a loaded crossbow, points it at my head, and fires.
It's very good. I enjoyed it. I do apologize for taking so long to critique it. You know how the holidays get, and it can take a while to recover from it.
Last edited by mebecronck; 2014-01-13 at 07:59 PM. Reason: Decided it was unnecessary to add a disclaimer to my writing
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2014-01-16, 09:22 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
Hi guys!
I might begin writing again soon.
For those wondering about my hiatus, I'm afraid I was ensnared by the FFRP Zone.Last edited by Arkhosia; 2014-01-17 at 01:29 AM.
"Are we living a life that is safe from harm? Of course not, we never are. But that's not the right question. The question is: are we living a life that is worth the harm?"
~Welcome to Night Vale
Spoiler: Quotes from Friends <3Originally Posted by SliiArhemOriginally Posted by Billtodamax
Interested in the Nexus FFRP setting? Try joining our Discord server!
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2014-01-16, 11:02 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
Welcome back Arkhosia!
Okay, I got a new contribution of snippetty goodness. Before we get to that, I just want to say to DrBwaa, "Don't let this new snippet impede your critiques for the newest Modern Bard installment. Don't make me write a sequel to 'My Impatience'! I got kittens. Who knows what I will do?"
Alright, without further ado:
Spoiler
The Adventurers Odd
Diabolically Despicable Dice … of DOOM!
When we last left our heroes, they had just fallen into a dark hole. With no apparent way out, they decided to …
“Are we really doing the whole ‘Last Time on’ blah, blah, blah thing?” Bob the Rogue taps his foot impatiently as he stares at the ceiling. “Let’s just get on with it.”
Fine, if you insist. Bob the Rogue inches the door open further, ready for anything that might …
“Uh, I would like a recap,” Jorge the Monk interrupts, confused as to where he is or what’s going on. The whole point for the recap being he just joined the group.
“What was that last part? I couldn’t hear it over this annoying whining sound that is coming from the ceiling.” Bob the Rogue cups a hand over his ear to mock the pretentious voice in the sky.
Varonis the Wizard walks up to Jorge with his arms out wide. “We fell through the desert floor. Bob fondled a locked door for half an hour. Then we saw two people camping in the hall out that door.” Varonis shrugs. “Now you’re caught up.”
“Alright guys. Sorry I’m late.” Jorun the Paladin wakes up from his slumber and notices the new guy in the room. He draws his sword and says in as commanding a voice as he can muster, “Who are you and how did you get here?”
“Relax dude, he’s a player character,” Bob says without any note of concern. “Why should I be concerned? It’s not like we are about to have a player versus player fight here.”
“You could at least try to RP it a little” Jorun holds out his arms, pleading with Bob.
Bob walks nonchalantly up to Jorge. “Fine, whatever.” Bob then raises his arms high above his head and says in a loud voice. “You. Look. Trustworthy.” He then gestures both arms towards the northern door. “Let us go and kill things. Together.”
“Sure thing, mate.” Jorge gives Bob a thumbs up.
“Are you happy now?” Bob glares at Jorun.
“Ecstatic.” Jorun raises his hand to his face. He feels he’s doing that far too often lately.
*****
Bob once again returns to the door. Peeking outside, he can see three humanoid figures sitting around a campfire.
“Whoa.” Bob steps away from the door and looks up. “Hold on here. ‘Three humanoid figures’ you say? I thought there was just two.”
You got a new member in the group. I had to up the challenge somehow. Besides, you still outnumber them.
“Look, fighting our way out of the dungeon is not a good idea anyhow. We have nowhere to retreat to.” Varonis speaks some words and the light on his staff fades. “I say we sneak past them.”
Bob looks at Varonis sideways, then gestures at the heavily armored paladin with both hands. He waves his arms up and down as if he was trying to fan Jorun. “Unless you can manifest some full plate roller skates I don’t think sneaking is going to work out so well.”
“So what do you think we should do?” Varonis crosses his arms and taps his boot.
“Um, guys?” Jorge raises a hand and says, “How about we try to sneak past them and if they spot us we fight them?”
Everyone looks at each other for a moment. Jorun sheathes his sword and breaks the silence. “That sounds good to me. Three to one; sneaking is the plan.”
Bob the Rogue, oddly enough being the only one opposed to sneaking lets out a dejected sigh and says, “Well, let’s roll the dice.”
Jorun restrains himself from covering his face with his hand.
*****
Bob and Varonis lead the way into the hallway. Jorun takes extra precaution in each step to prevent the layered metal plates in his armor from striking against each other. Once everyone is in the hall, Jorge follows behind, stomping his feet and shouts, “Why is everyone walking funny?”
Bob stops dead in his tracks and whispers as loud as he can to the ceiling. “Nope! No way! That did not happen!”
Well, how else do we explain the stealth checks? Jorun rolled a twenty, Jorge rolled a one, and after all the modifiers are applied Jorun’s result is still twice as good as Jorge’s.
“Yes, but that still doesn’t make Jorge a complete idiot.”
So, how would you explain a barefooted man in light clothes being louder than a knight in plate armor?
“Perhaps my spell to manifest full plate roller skates worked after all?” Varonis answers meekly.
“Actually, I was okay with ceiling man’s explanation.” Jorge interrupts the exchange. Everyone in the group turns their head slowly to face Jorge and stares at him, mouth agape and eyes wide. “What? I thought it was funny.” Jorge pauses for a moment, then shrugs, “What’s wrong with playing along?”
“It’s not like it matters.” Orc A turns around from the campfire and draws his ax.
“We could hear you in the other room,” Orc B adds as he stands up to face the adventurers and Orc C joins him.
“Ummm …” Bob the Rogue tries to quickly come up with a plan. “No, you didn’t.” The sound of rolling dice echoes down the hall.
“We did hear you.” Orc A answers with certainty.
“No, you didn’t.” The sound of dice echoes down the hall, again.
“Yes, we did!” Orc B answers with more certainty.
“No, you didn’t.” The sound of the dice rolls echoes louder than before.
“You do know that the difficulty of selling a bluff increases each time you fail to sell it,” Orc C states in a matter-of-fact manner.
Bob pauses, and then says, “No, it doesn’t.”
Orc B turns to Orc C and says, “You know what, I don’t think the difficulty does increase.”
“I was certain it did just a second, ago.” Orc C scratches his head and turns to Orc B. “Now, I’m not so sure.”
“Of course, the difficulty increases. It only makes sense for it to increase.” Orc A jumps in.
“And you didn’t hear us in the other room.” Bob tries to add.
“Don’t interrupt!” All the Orcs shout together, and then they carry on with their discussion.
Jorun motions to the rest of the team to continue down the hallway. They stop at the first door they see. Bob goes through his routine of trap-checking and prays that the door will open. Fortunately, it opens without any trouble. The whole team piles into the room. The ramblings of difficulty classes fade as the door closes behind them.
“Alright, I just have one thing to say,” Bob says as he points at the ceiling. “You really named them Orc A, B, and C? Really?!”
It was a trash mob, I’m not about to name every enemy you’ll encounter.
The team rests for a moment as they gather their composure. Jorge breaks the silence by asking, “How much XP for bypassing the trash mob?”
Last edited by mebecronck; 2014-01-24 at 10:01 PM. Reason: Grammar mistakes
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2014-01-19, 04:37 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
A small snippet!
Dragonfire
SpoilerThere once was a town of Harrowfell
Down by a mountain that those feared well
For deep within the rocky spire
Rested the source of dragonfire
Heroes claimed they could defeat it no doubt
Underestimating their predicament dire
Many had entered and few had come out
All bearing warnings of the dragonfire
Then one day rode into town
A woman with a blade armor-bound
"Many have perished in that earthen spire
But with my wits I will end the dragonfire"
The woman entered, ready for combat
And came across the beast, on heroes fat
"What makes you think you can best my flame
And win yourself honor and fame?""Are we living a life that is safe from harm? Of course not, we never are. But that's not the right question. The question is: are we living a life that is worth the harm?"
~Welcome to Night Vale
Spoiler: Quotes from Friends <3Originally Posted by SliiArhemOriginally Posted by Billtodamax
Interested in the Nexus FFRP setting? Try joining our Discord server!
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2014-01-20, 05:37 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
@mebecronck
Spoiler: CommentsSpoiler: Advent VillainI don't even keep my tools for my trade here.
I keep that in "The Office".
as if he wants there meaning to have incredible weight.
You see, they thought they were all safe
The problem there is that, the threat of death is only an effective deterrent when dying is not already part of the plan.
He lowers his gun and moves in close to the camera. "There is no need to thank me. I am your friend, and I have done this to help you. Because I care."
Spoiler: DDD...DFine, if you insist.
It’s not like we are about to have a player versus player fight here.”
He waves his arms up and down as if he was trying to fan Jorun.
full plate roller skates
"Well, let's roll the dice."
"It's not like it matters." Orc A turns around from the campfire and draws his ax.
"We could hear you in the other room," Orc B adds
Also, I love that their canon names are Orc A, Orc B, and Orc C.
The sound of rolling dice echoes down the hall.
Bob pauses, and then says, "No, it doesn't."
Orc B turns to Orc C and says, "You know what, I don't think the difficulty does increase."
"Don't interrupt!" All the Orcs shout together, and then they carry on with their discussion.
Jorge breaks the silence by asking, "How much XP for bypassing the trash mob?"
Spoiler: Critique ResponseI can't decide if you are saying that he has a tattoo on his face or if his face is sunburned and scarred.
If the man Clearly, there are elements at work here that I know nothing about,
Is the man named Clearly? Did you forget the period after "man"? I don't think it is the latter, because "If the man" is not a sentence.
I'm just confused here.
Well, you could ask, "What makes him despicable?"
Has not Admiral Ackbar taught you anything! You bring shame to the Rebel Alliance!
"All at once" just has a feeling of energy to it, but "he stops short" gives it a sense of anti-climax and it all happens in such rapid succession.
lit only by stray fire- and starlight.
You know how the holidays get, and it can take a while to recover from it.
@Arkhosia
Spoiler: Dragonfire...doubt
...dire
...out
...dragonfire
a blade armor-bound
["...]And win yourself honor and fame?"
Overall, I enjoyed this--it's rather songlike. Though I think there needs to be more to the story to count it as a song!!
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2014-01-20, 08:47 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2007
- Location
- On my back, in my heart
- Gender
Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
You know, I should favorite this thread. I didn't see your commentary on my snippet 'till just now. I'll make the suggested changes.
My Homebrew
Five-time champion of the GITP monster competition!
Current Projects:
Crossroads: the New World: A pathfinder campaign setting about an alternate history of North America, where five empire collide in a magical land full of potential. On the road to publication!
Epic Avatar and Sigitar by AlterForm
Spoiler
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2014-01-26, 09:30 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
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- Eastern U.S.A.
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Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
Gentlemen, behold! A snippet!
Spoiler: The Adventurers Odd
The Adventurers Odd
Suddenly… Nothing Happens!
The adventurers find themselves in a large empty room. The worked stone walls are wet from the humidity and reflect the light from Varonis’s staff. The floor pools water in the crevices between the giant stone tiles. The ceiling is smooth but cracked from the erosion of water.
On the far side of the room are two wooden doors. Steam leaks from the borders of one door and a single dove made a nest above the other.
If I go crazy, then will you still call me…
Hello.
“You left your cell phone on?” Bob stares at the ceiling in disbelief. Wait, just hold on a second guys.
“Was that ‘Kryptonite’ by 3 Doors Down?” Varonis holds back laughter while looking at … Just hold on. I can’t take the call and narrate at the same time.
Yes.
Really?
So, I can’t …
Uh, huh.
You can’t expect me to believe that.
Okay, then.
I will.
Bye.
Sorry, guys. I got to change up the room a little.
“What? Why?” Bob holds his arms out and stares at the ceiling with a downcast expression.
I was told I can’t use the dove. Apparently John Woo has copyrighted using them for symbolic purposes.
“Could you at least tell us which door is which?” Varonis asks plainly.
I thought I did.
“No, you just told us a description of the doors. You didn’t say which door had which features.”
Oh, well. It doesn’t matter now. Just give me a moment to rework this room and I we will move on.
*****
Varonis leans up against the wall and crosses his arms. He sees Jorun with his eyes closed. He is breathing in deeply through his nose and then exhales slowly through his mouth. “So, what you doing over there, Jorun?”
“I’m trying to imagine what it would be like if I was in a party with players that actually RP.” Jorun answers without opening his eyes.
“If you want to RP so badly then I will join in.” Varonis moves away from the wall and stands in front of Jorun. “You start.”
Jorun takes in one last deep breath and opens his eyes. Jorun forces a smile that seems natural enough and speaks with Varonis in a voice that he believes mimics the tone used in the middle ages. He animates each sentence gesturing with his arms and hands.
“Friend Varonis, I have been traveling with you for so long, yet it only now dawns upon me that I know nothing about you. If you would be so kind to indulge me for but a moment, I would like to hear your story. Mayhap we could begin with your past. Tell me, where did you train in the arcane arts?”
“Oh, I was trained in a wizard academy.” Varonis tries to imitate the mannerisms of Jorun, but he was so taken aback by the energy Jorun put into his performance that he lost track of himself. “It is located on the west coast.”
“From the coast you say?”
“Yes. I am from the coast.”
“You’re a wizard.”
“Obviously.”
“Then, you’re a wizard of the…”
Whoa, whoa! Stop right there. Room’s done. Let’s get back to it.
Jorun looks over at Bob and opens his mouth, but before he can get any words out Bob stands up and shouts, “Finally, let’s move out.”
*****
Bob looks up at the ceiling and says as if he is cursing, “How many doors this time? Five? Twenty?”
Well, actually…
If I go crazy…
“AGAIN!” All three adventurers shout in unison.
Hello…
Yeah, it’s okay.
Hope you feel better, soon.
“So, is 3 Doors Down sick of your ring tone, too?” Varonis mocks the ceiling.
Actually, that was Jorge saying he can’t make it today. He’s caught some nasty bug and is bedridden.
“Oh, well.” Varonis stammers, feeling ashamed of his joke.
Bob rolls his eyes. “Could we get on with it? We haven’t done anything in the past hour.”
Across the room is one wooden door. The…
“OH, THANK ALL THAT IS GOOD! JUST ONE DOOR!” Bob falls to his knees and clasps his hands above his head. He almost feels like crying. Also, may I finish the description now?
“Yeah, sure. Sorry.”
The door is scored in arcane markings. The patterns spiral outward from the center and cover every surface. There is no handle or any visible latch of any sort.
“Well, now what?” Bob asks looking back and forth between Jorun, Varonis, and the door.
“It’s got to be a trap of some sort.” Varonis says glaring at Bob.
“The markings look like they would be in your wheelhouse.” Jorun says looking at Varonis.
“I don’t want go near that thing until we know what we are dealing with.” Bob holds up his hands defensively.
Perhaps you should roll your dice and see if your characters know something about this.
“Good idea Occasionally-Helpful-But-Mostly-Annoying-Voice-In-The-Sky!” Bob points at the ceiling with a forced smile on his face.
The sound of rolling dice echoes throughout the room as the adventurers strain through everything they know about doors. The details of hinges and knobs, the shaping of timber into planks, whether they swing in or out, and they even contemplate the mysterious nature of doors that slide open.
Bob, who has studied many coded messages in his profession, feels enlightenment strike him. He turns his head sideways as he ciphers the meaning of some of the twisting symbols. He can tell that some of them speak of fire.
Varonis, who has studied many fields of magic, notices a pattern intermittent between the various symbols. He can tell that there is a spell that reads something about people that move through the door.
Jorun, who has just recently learned which end of the sword to hold, noticed, and is able to say with some certainty, that the door is made of wood.
“I can’t believe you got a negative result.” Bob chuckles looking at Jorun.
“Instead of making fun of my roll, why don’t you do something with what you learned?”
“It’s obvious that the door is trapped with a spell that does fire damage to people with a certain alignment.” Bob walks straight up to the door and pushes it open.
“Wow! Bold move, Bob.” Varonis claps his hands in applause. “How did you know it wouldn’t set you on fire?”
“True neutral, baby!” Bob starts dancing and moonwalks through the door.
Varonis approaches the door cautiously. He holds his breath as he moves through the threshold, and nothing happens. Breathing easy he turns around and looks at Jorun.
Jorun stands a safe distance from the door. Sweat dripping from his brow, “What alignment are you Varonis?”
“I thought you wanted to RP?” Varonis gives a soft laugh as he asks the question.
“I’m picking my battles. Right now RPing is the least of my worries.”
“I’m Lawful Neutral.”
Jorun starts walking slowly towards the door. The whole time he repeats the same prayer in his head. Please, don’t be detect good. Please, don’t be detect good. Jorun makes it to the threshold. He takes a deep breath and steps forward.
Intense heat wraps around his body. His armor contains the flames and turns his full plate into a Dutch oven. He lets a high pitch scream of pain as he stumbles the rest of the way into the room. Once he is through the door, the flames dissipate, but the damage is done.
Varonis kneels down next to the motionless body of Jorun. He looks up at Bob with worry in his eyes and says, “He is still breathing, but it is shallow. I think he is unconscious.”
“Oh, great.” Bob says with a blank face. He folds his arms and says, “Anyone remember to buy healing potions.”
Now for replies.
Dr Bwaa - Advent Villain
Spoiler
I keep that in "The Office".
Dr Bwaa - DDD ... D
Spoiler
It’s not like we are about to have a player versus player fight here.”
"Don't interrupt!" All the Orcs shout together, and then they carry on with their discussion.
Last edited by mebecronck; 2014-01-26 at 10:38 PM. Reason: Fixing grammar errors.
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2014-01-26, 10:32 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2007
Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
It shall be done.
I've read through Nail's PbP; it was very enjoyable. In general, her characterization is solid and consistent. The single thing I found a bit strange was the current plan, in light of Nail's reaction to hearing that some of Natasha's people had joined the other side--if she values oaths so strongly, I found it odd that her first idea would be to try to get mob members to betray each other. Obviously it seems likely to work, but it also makes it seem that she values some oaths more than others, which is counter to what I'd thought up until that point. If I had more to go on, I'd probably be able to come up with more, but rather than try to come up with more specific comments about Nail, I'm going to give you the impression of her that I get, just from reading that PbP.
Nail is mostly soft-spoken and polite, and her voice has a musical lilt to it. She prefers to do her dirty work by-the-book, to keep her official legal record spotless, but her work is vicious and she enjoys it. However, she's deeply unhappy about the person she is.
She is proud, and careful, and she responds well to brazen, honest bravado. She takes oaths extremely seriously, even implied promises or those between mortals. She's extremely passionate, quick to anger, and resorts to violence easily.Last edited by Lord_Gareth; 2014-01-26 at 10:33 PM.
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2014-03-03, 11:29 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
- Location
- Boulder, CO
- Gender
Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
@mebecronck
Spoiler: Suddenly... Nothing Happens!The floor pools water in the crevices between the giant stone tiles.
The ceiling is smooth but cracked from the erosion of water.
Steam leaks from the borders of one door and a single dove made a nest above the other.
If I go crazy, then will you still call me…
Hello.
I was told I can’t use the dove. Apparently John Woo has copyrighted using them for symbolic purposes.
Just give me a moment to rework this room and I we will move on.
“I’m trying to imagine what it would be like if I was in a party with players that actually RP.” Jorun answers without opening his eyes.
“If you want to RP so badly then I will join in.” Varonis moves away from the wall and stands in front of Jorun. “You start.”
“Yes. I am from the coast.”
“You’re a wizard.”
“Obviously.”
“Then, you’re a wizard of the…”
Whoa, whoa! Stop right there. Room’s done. Let’s get back to it.
Bob rolls his eyes. “Could we get on with it? We haven’t done anything in the past hour.”
Bob points at the ceiling with a forced smile on his face.
Jorun, who has just recently learned which end of the sword to hold, noticed, and is able to say with some certainty, that the door is made of wood.
“True neutral, baby!” Bob starts dancing and moonwalks through the door.
“Oh, great.” Bob says with a blank face. He folds his arms and says, “Anyone remember to buy healing potions.”
Spoiler: DDD...DI was referring to the trolls from the Hobbit. I just thought the orcs were acting similarly ;-)
@Lord_Gareth
Spoiler...she's deeply unhappy about the person she is.
She's extremely passionate
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2014-03-03, 09:49 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
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- Eastern U.S.A.
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Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
@Dr Bwaa
Thanks for the comments. I will be getting on the fixes soon. I also have a couple of new snippets to post once I (finished them up/started typing them). I been transferred to a new position at work and haven't had much time for anything lately.
Spoiler
“True neutral, baby!” Bob starts dancing and moonwalks through the door.
Last edited by mebecronck; 2014-03-03 at 09:51 PM.
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2014-03-03, 10:14 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
- Gender
Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
In fairness...it's not usually things exactly "like this" that get abused. It annoys the hell out of me when a player thinks that writing "N" on their character sheet exempts them from any effort to play a consistent character. But if they have the unmitigated gall to think it means they can walk right through my cleverly placed door-that-punishes-certain-unspecified-alignments...I would be thinking "Serves me right for including that silly door."
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2014-03-05, 12:29 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
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- Eastern U.S.A.
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Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
@Mucat
SpoilerActually, this type of trap isn't that silly. Whoever created the dungeon (evil necromancer or whatever) placed this trap as a method to make sure that no one with a good alignment could enter freely. It basically acts as the club bouncer making sure that only "the right type" gets in. I got the idea from a DnD guidebook. Dungeonscape, if I remember the name right, or maybe the Stronghold builders guide. It came from a section explaining how to make the dungeon make sense to the players. Giving the rooms a purpose in the sense of the dungeon as a whole instead of designing the room around the encounter. Things along the lines.
Oh, and as for the whole "unspecified-alignment" thing, there is a specified alignment. Detect good. The players just didn't figure it out. A trap isn't going to announce what sets it off. The person who sets a trap doesn't place a sign next to it that says, "Please stand here to fall in concealed pit."
Last edited by mebecronck; 2014-03-05 at 12:32 AM. Reason: Further details.
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2014-03-05, 08:27 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2012
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- Aldain
- Gender
Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
Oh that gives me an idea for a trap....
A sign marked please stand here to fall in concealed pit. If they step around it, they fall in a bad concealed pit. If they stand on it, they fall into a concealed pit that leads them to the next room. The door on the other side of the trap? A fake.Scientific Name: Wombous apocolypticus | Diet: Apocolypse Pie | Cuddly: Yes
World Building Projects:
Magic: The Stuff of Sentience | Fate: The Fabric of Physics | Luck: The Basis of Biology
Order of the Stick Projects:
Annotation of the Comic | Magic Compendium of the Comic | Transcription of the Comic
Dad-a-chum? Dum-a-chum? Ded-a-chek? Did-a-chick?
Extended Signature | My DeviantArt | Majora's Mask Point Race
(you can't take the sky from me)
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2014-03-17, 06:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
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- Boulder, CO
- Gender
Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
In the spirit of the original thread, and because I haven't had enough time to do all the writing I would like recently, and to keep this one moving along, I'm going to try to start posting some shorter stuff without worrying so much about style and polish. So keep a look out for that in the next couple of days!
If anyone has any preferences as to the topic, here are your choices (your votes may even influence what I write, who knows!):
- Something brief/comedic with the Wanderers
- An avoidable PvE encounter with Brygar
- Something brief/comedic with Laelah
- An encounter for which Isra's party is unprepared
- Something completely different
Last edited by Dr Bwaa; 2014-03-17 at 06:25 PM.
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2014-03-17, 06:59 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
- Gender
Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
Suffering from writers block. :(
"Are we living a life that is safe from harm? Of course not, we never are. But that's not the right question. The question is: are we living a life that is worth the harm?"
~Welcome to Night Vale
Spoiler: Quotes from Friends <3Originally Posted by SliiArhemOriginally Posted by Billtodamax
Interested in the Nexus FFRP setting? Try joining our Discord server!
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2014-03-21, 09:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
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- Eastern U.S.A.
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Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
Okay, I'm sitting at the keyboard. Let us see what comes from it.
@Dr Bwaa
Spoiler
Now for something for everyone.
Spoiler
My Difficulties with Writing
There are two particular things that I always have trouble with when it comes to writing. The first one is simply starting. The "sitting down and putting my fingers on the keyboard part" and the horrific sight of a blank page.
Getting my butt in the chair is difficult enough. I have a lot of interests and as such I have a lot of things that will get in the way of writing. It's not that I don't enjoy writing. It's actually one of my favorite hobbies. I enjoy things that allow me to express my creativity and give me a sense of freedom. Nothing gives me a greater sense of freedom than painting an entire world with words.
That being said, I still enjoy my other hobbies, too. I don't want to neglect them. I want to play that new game I just bought, and watch that new movie that just came out, and follow my favorite TV shows, and this, and that, and... You get the picture.
I'm don't prioritize hobbies. I have thought of scheduling each day of the week to a different hobby, but then it would feel more like work. I don't want to write because its Tuesday, and Tuesday is writing day. I want to write because I want to write.
Not to say that I don't take my hobbies seriously. When I discovered that I enjoy writing I picked up several books on the writing process. When I discovered my grammar skills have gotten rusty I picked up a grammar book. I always learn something new when someone critics my writing. I'm surprised by what parts people like and I pay attention when someone points out my mistakes (even if I don't always go back and correct them).
I have digressed long enough, though. I did say there was two parts I have trouble with in writing.
The second part is proofreading. Actually, going through and re-reading what I just wrote to see if I messed up anywhere. It feels like watching a movie then re-watching it immediately when it ends. I know, I could just wait a while and then go back to proofread it, but I hate to leave things unfinished. For me, the first half is writing, the second half is proofreading. So, why stop now that I'm half way done.
Every hobby has certain aspects that you don't like. With games, it's grinding for XP. With movies, it's the price of the tickets and the snacks. With TV, it's the commercials. With writing, it's the proofreading. It makes me feel like a teacher grading a student's essay, and I'm the student! I become over-critical of every little thing and I'm surprisingly blind to even the most obvious of spelling errors.
But you know what? I wouldn't give it up for the world.
Some things in the works.
Spoiler
1. A new Adventurers Odd
2. A new character profile
3. A funny short story not connected to any other writing
Some things on hold.
Spoiler
1. The Modern Bard (I need time think of where the story is going.)
2. Jessica (I don't like how the story stands now. I might re-write it.)
3. Horror Stories (Still trying to figure out how to scare the reader.Maybe if I type "boo" in all caps?)
*Edit*
Spoiler
If you want to know why I decided to write about how why I sometimes have a hard time writing; it's simple. I sat down in front of my computer. I told myself "I'm writing something, dammit!" I couldn't think of what to write. So, I decided to write about that.
A car doesn't move until the gears start turning.
(If that is not a phrase, then I just made it one! )
Last edited by mebecronck; 2014-03-21 at 10:08 PM.
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2014-04-03, 03:22 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
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- Bunbury, Australia
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Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
Wow. I think you just summed up my entire difficulty with writing too.
I had some good advice from a friend the other day though, to write at least something (even if it's only 250 words) every day. But that also, whatever you write has to be something you're really invested in, and you need to have a pretty clear idea of where it's going. I think I might give it a try... starting tomorrow.
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2014-04-25, 03:57 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
- Location
- Eastern U.S.A.
- Gender
Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
It has been more difficult than normal to sit down and write. I've had this idea for a short in my head for a long time and I finally got it down. Hope you enjoy it.
Spoiler: The inspiration behind it.Edit* - Perhaps a little explanation would be prudent. I am trying for a deadpan style comedy writing here. The inspiration came when I was talking with someone at the grocery store on whether he should get bacon or sausage for breakfast. Instantly, my mind was filled by the tale of the battle for breakfast. Bacon and Sausage cannot share the same plate. They would kill each other before that would happen. I imagined the tale being told from Bacon's side like a soldier retelling the horrific events of war. It was kind of funny. So here we have the first draft of that. Tell me what you think, and who's side you are on.
Spoiler: The Battle for Breakfast
The Battle for Breakfast
From the Journal of
Captain Bacon
March 16 – For as long as I can remember, Bacon has been the dominate force on the Platter, but everything changed when the Sausages arrived. They hold to the belief that Bacon has no business sharing the Platter with them. Well, I feel the same way. They leveled the First Course and I will never forgive them for it. Kill them all and let The Great Skillet sort them.
March 27 – Private Bit uncovered some spies in our ranks. I had my suspicions. Their gristle didn’t smell right, and they are too lean to have passed inspection. They call themselves Turkey Bacon. I’m certain that I can repurpose them. Send them through the grinder and shape them up and I will have some double agents of my own. The Turkey Sausage will be invaluable in the future.
April 1 – Through nerve racking negotiations we have secured a new ally, but I’m not sure we can trust them. It is important for us to bolster our forces with whoever might join our cause. The Sausages have joined the French Toast and we find ourselves sorely outnumbered. This alliance with the Canadian Bacon seems too timely. Private Bit will not stop talking about how they are practically cousins with our new enemies. I can’t tell the difference between them and a washed out Bologna. Command thinks they pass the smell test, so I have no choice but to integrate them into our troops.
April 14 – The Turkey Sausage just sent disturbing information from the inside of Sausage HQ. They are developing a condiment of mass destruction, codenamed CHEESE. The power of this weapon is terrifying to behold. The few photos accompanying the file leave me worried. Surely the Sausages would not use something so devastating. There would be no Platter left for anyone to live on.
April 20 – The information we received about CHEESE has been realized today. The Belgian Waffles, who wanted to remain neutral in this battle, was wiped from the face of the Platter today. There was nothing left.
May 5 – The Canadian Bacon rep. just handed to me the first good news I have read in a long time. They just finished a condiment of mass destruction to counter that of CHEESE. I am fearful to use it, but the Sausages give us little choice. They will taste MAPLE SYRUP today!
May 6 – Whenever I look over a battlefield I feel emotions of anger, sadness, disgust, or be overwhelmed by some unpleasant feeling. Yet, I have never looked over a battlefield and felt these emotions and direct them at myself. I made the call to use the MAPLE SYRUP, and now the field of battle is barren. The force of the weapon spread outside our predicted impact zone. It is impossible to ascertain all the casualties. Good Bacon and Canadian Bacon soldiers alike will forever be listed as MIA. I believe Private Bit was in the fallout zone, but I will never know for certain. All that is left is the smear across the Platter.
May 7 – Despite our best efforts and the fallout of SYRUP Day, Sausage has won the Battle for Breakfast. Though the battle is lost, the war is far from over. We have gained new allies in Ground Beef Patty and Hamburger Bun. The Battle for Breakfast is over, but The War for Lunch has just begun. There is no room on the Platter for Sausage!
Last edited by mebecronck; 2014-04-25 at 09:38 PM.
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2014-04-26, 11:50 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2007
Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
Frustrations
Just a day
SpoilerThe clock on the wall ticked.
It was about this close to driving Natty insane. Who in their right mind built wall clocks that ticked? And who bought the damn things? She'd spent a month at a ranger station with nothing but the stores there and her own hunting skills to feed herself, no cell reception, no internet, and even then there'd been a damn digital clock.
"I realize there's just half an hour before your shift is over," a patronizing voice said from the entrance to her cubicle, "but you're still expected to work, Ms. Sokolov."
Natty sighed and rubbed her temples. "Yessir," she said quietly. "Sorry sir, just lost in thought."
"You work in a clerical position," her manager said with a too-friendly smile. "Thought shouldn't be involved."
Natty restrained her urge to hit him while he walked away, as she did every day. The computer beckoned to her, demanding attention as it did every day between 9 and 5.
Clocking out failed to bring any satisfaction.
Detroit in autumn wasn't the best place to be - the cold coming in made already desperate people downright savage, at times. Natty walked to her car with a cautious eye, and was rewarded for her trouble when she saw that a man approaching her was fingering something inside his coat. When he pulled his knife to try mugging her, Natty's blade - a military-issue survival knife, purchased from a surplus store and lovingly maintained - was already hovering in front of his throat.
"That didn't go according to plan, huh?" Natty said sweetly, tucking a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. The would-be criminal stared silently at the blade, weighing his options.
"Look, here's the deal buddy," Natty continued with a sigh. She reached into her purse and fished in it for a moment without taking her eyes off of the man she was threatening, then withdrew a $100 bill. "You can take this and go, or you can put on your big boy undies and try to fight me. I've got plenty of money, it's not a trouble to share some. Take it and get something warm to eat, huh?"
The man nodded silently, his eyes still on the blade. Natty pressed the bill into his hand and stepped back, then watched as the mugger ran away as fast as his feet could carry him. The blonde put her knife back into its sheath inside her coat and kept walking to her car. One of the mirrors had been smashed in by something. Natty noted it and unlocked the vehicle so she could drive home.
A car accident forced her to detour, and Natty got lost for nearly half an hour before finally figuring out another route to the apartment she shared with her brother. She parked the car and climbed the stairs to their third-floor apartment. The door was locked - not a big deal, given the whole 'keys' concept.
Her brother was right where she'd left him - laying down on the couch, staring blankly at whatever was - oh hell, was he so out of it that he was watching The 700 Club? Natty scowled in disgust and picked up the remote. There was no reaction from her brother when she turned off the show, no acknowledgment that she'd walked in. The blonde sat down on the couch next to his feet and looked over.
"You can't keep doing this, Dimitri," she said softly. "You've gotta get back to having a life."
"Make me," Dimitri muttered sullenly.
Natty sighed and rubbed her temples, "Way to be five years old, Dimitri. You haven't done anything all day, have you?"
Silence.
"I'll order pizza," Natty said with a sigh. "You're cooking tomorrow, you lazy ass. Get up off the couch."
"What happened to familial love?"
"If you don't get up I'm gonna love breaking my foot off in your ass," Natty answered as she stood up from the couch and began searching for the phone with an irritated sigh.
"Something happen today?" Dimitri asked, concerned.
"Nothing that doesn't happen most days."
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2014-05-11, 07:35 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
- Location
- Eastern U.S.A.
- Gender
Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting
@Lord_Gareth
SpoilerWho in their right mind built wall clocks that ticked?
"Yessir," she said quietly.
"You work in a clerical position," her manager said with a too-friendly smile. "Thought shouldn't be involved."
Quick! Hide this from Tumblr! Don’t let them see it. We can’t survive the storm!
Clocking out failed to bring any satisfaction.
Detroit in autumn wasn't the best place to be
The would-be criminal stared silently at the blade, weighing his options.
I've got plenty of money, it's not a trouble to share some.
The door was locked - not a big deal, given the whole 'keys' concept.
oh hell, was he so out of it that he was watching The 700 Club?
The blonde sat down on the couch next to his feet and looked over.
Conclusion: Not bad. It was entertaining, and I would like to see what happens next if you plan on turning this into a series.Last edited by mebecronck; 2014-05-11 at 07:36 PM. Reason: Spoilers!