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  1. - Top - End - #871
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    We are The Borg. Resistance is unnecessary. You will be assimilated if you want to be. Your biological and technological distinctiveness may be added to our own, if it is cool with you.

  2. - Top - End - #872
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Quote Originally Posted by H Birchgrove View Post
    I see what you're getting at, but from what I understand, it's not just about emmasculation, though I bet lots of cismen would feel castrated if they suddenly got transformed into women. (I know I would miss my Willie Garvin, and I'd probably hate the period and PMS even if I would enjoy getting penetrated while having sex and would try to do the best of the situation.)
    Maybe there's more to the actual story, but the premise as described here depends on the concept that the difference between men and women is that men have a penis and women don't - that women are merely emasculated men. During sex the penis is taken from one participant to the other, turning the former into a female by virtue of having the penis taken away, and turning the latter into a male by virtue of obtaining a penis. The idea that women are just dickless men is an old one, which, was addressed recently(ish) in that "Transexual FAQ" someone linked to, and this story buys into it - according to the summary here - whole-heartedly.
    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    Why does everyone go on about this? I have man parts. I like my man parts very much. We spend hours of fun together every week, and I've never had disphoria or what have you. And yet, if they vanished tomorrow to be replaced by an "ingress" I'd be annoyed only by 2 things. 1) They disappeared too late to save my last relationship, and 2) I'd have to buy new toys.

    Why is everyone so attached to their body parts? I just don't get it.
    I quite like being female, but I think I'd be okay with being male as well. I'd be able to wee standing up! :D and also get off easier <.<
    Last edited by Serpentine; 2012-01-16 at 07:42 AM.

  3. - Top - End - #873
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    I may have missed it when I was flicking through the last few pages but does this male<->female novel have a name? I'd be interested in reading it.

  4. - Top - End - #874
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Quote Originally Posted by Coidzor View Post
    Edit button will clear that right up.
    The irony, it amuses me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalirren View Post
    The only person in the past two pages who has known what (s)he has been talking about is Heliomance.
    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    I just don't want to have long romantic conversations or any sort of drama with my computer, okay? It knows what kind of porn I watch. I don't want to mess that up by allowing it to judge any of my choices in romance.

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  5. - Top - End - #875
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    KenderWizard, we leave you out because you have cooties. Sad, but true. (your boyfriend is probably infested too)
    I knew it!

    Quote Originally Posted by noparlpf View Post
    I need to tell my advisor (Gender Studies prof.) that I want to write my thesis on how girls really do have cooties, just to see how she reacts.
    (KenderWizard, I won't leave you out just because you have cooties. So many of my friends are girl-dudes that I had to go out and get inoculated. So I'm immune anyway.)
    Uh... Thanks?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Coidzor View Post

    Nah, you can totally be a dude, dude. Just like you can totally be a bro. You don't have external, male genitalia or anything, but that's hardly something we can hold against you.

    Or should.
    And, y'know what, I'd probably be totally fine with that if it wasn't always the male word that was the default. At a certain point, you just end up feeling a bit left out. But I get what you're saying.



    Body parts:
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    Quote Originally Posted by Musashi View Post
    Don't know, I like my body parts. I'm used to them, they're used to me, and they do their job reasonably well. I'd be upset if they were replaced in any way by sole virtue of having to get used to them all over again.
    Excepted the digestive system. I've seen college students work harder than it, and do it more constantly.
    I would definitely go for a new immune system. Mine's so panicky!

    Quote Originally Posted by Coidzor View Post

    Well the bit there is that it's kind of hard to not frame it like that when that's exactly what is happening.
    No! Just, please, look at what I'm actually saying:
    There is nothing wrong with being upset if your man parts are REPLACED by woman parts. But they have been REPLACED by woman parts. If you just LOST your man parts, you would not be a woman. You would have no parts at all, so you would be in a male body without man parts. If you have had your man parts REPLACED by woman parts, you have not lost net body parts, they are different now. That would still be upsetting if you didn't want it to happen, but what me and Serps are saying is that lots of people say "If a man loses his man parts, he becomes a woman." This is wrong and insulting. That's all.




    Quote Originally Posted by Heliomance View Post
    So I got the haircut done. It's quite subtle - an inch or two off to neaten the ends, little bit of layering, and the parting moved to the side. Looks good. Reactions on walking into GameSoc were amusing, ranging from "What the ****?!" to "Looks like GameSoc has a new woman now " to my personal favourite, "You're confusing my male-or-female-dar! "

    Pics will follow at some point.
    Awesome!
    Last edited by KenderWizard; 2012-01-16 at 01:34 PM.

    Cheerfairy, Kenderwoman and Geologist by Succubus, Feminist Geomancer by Astrella, Kender Wizard by me

  6. - Top - End - #876
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Oooo, I missed that.
    Thanks, Coidzor, for being an example of the "women are just emasculated men" concept

  7. - Top - End - #877
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    Sounds like a healthy coping strategy to me. You should show me sometime, I could give a helping hand!
    Oh my.

    On which note:

    *sweeps lix from her feet and plants a big, sloppy, three minute kiss*
    Eek!

    I am 0kay with this.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Succubus View Post
    We are The Borg. Resistance is unnecessary. You will be assimilated if you want to be. Your biological and technological distinctiveness may be added to our own, if it is cool with you.
    You're pretty awesome. xD
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    It's like the feng shui version of an orbital death laser.

  8. - Top - End - #878
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    smile Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Quote Originally Posted by Coidzor View Post
    Which doesn't matter because the crux of the matter is that these things are being done against one's will, so even if it's just fine and hunky dory it is a huge violation of one's body and rights by another party.
    Unwillingness was only mentioned when discussing the story of Genitalia Swappage, not when discussing reactions to having body parts changed. I think...

    From what I could tell, it could just as well be a situation where you had the choices of whether to cut off a limb and what you wished done afterwards. Or a situation where you lost a hand to an earthquake, if we need it to be unwilling.

    On another note; since people seem to be talking about gross grown-up stuff, I will be stealing all the cookies in the secret Cookie Thread. :3
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    Quote Originally Posted by SiuiS View Post

    At first, it was the smiley faces and the mannerisms. Then, it was the infernal magpie. It struck a chord. A cutely fiendish, macabre chord.

    An then I saw Keveak in the sorting hat and you are just the cutest thing when you want to be. My gosh look at that. It's squee-inducing.

  9. - Top - End - #879
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Quote Originally Posted by Coidzor View Post
    Which doesn't matter because the crux of the matter is that these things are being done against one's will, so even if it's just fine and hunky dory it is a huge violation of one's body and rights by another party.
    And where is golentan saying that anybody is getting changed against their will? I'm not seeing anywhere where that's actually being said or implied.
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    Fantasy literature is ONLY worthwhile for what it can tell us about the real world; everything else is petty escapism.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Giant View Post
    No author should have to take the time to say, "This little girl ISN'T evil, folks!" in order for the reader to understand that. It should be assumed that no first graders are irredeemably Evil unless the text tells you they are.

  10. - Top - End - #880
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    Sounds like a healthy coping strategy to me. You should show me sometime, I could give a helping hand!
    Several, actually.

  11. - Top - End - #881
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    So, on less contentious things, what's news everybody?

    I'm applying to PhD programs right now. I had forgotten how much I hate applying to schools.
    Linguist and Invoker of Orcus of the Rudisplorker's Guild
    Quote Originally Posted by The Giant View Post
    Fantasy literature is ONLY worthwhile for what it can tell us about the real world; everything else is petty escapism.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Giant View Post
    No author should have to take the time to say, "This little girl ISN'T evil, folks!" in order for the reader to understand that. It should be assumed that no first graders are irredeemably Evil unless the text tells you they are.

  12. - Top - End - #882
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Quote Originally Posted by SaintRidley View Post
    So, on less contentious things, what's news everybody?

    I'm applying to PhD programs right now. I had forgotten how much I hate applying to schools.
    What are you applying for?


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    Blech, I've been feeling really dysphoric again these last few days... which made me notice something; I feel sorta detached / foreign to reality. It's like, even when I'm really upset, or angry, or happy, it's still like I'm just watching from the sideline. I've been trying to get back into spriting this last week as a distraction, but it keeps feeling fake.
    I make avatars. Sometimes.
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  13. - Top - End - #883
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Owowow the bits of my face that were previously covered by beard are objecting to their new beardless status. Shaving skin that's not used to being shaved hurts.

    I shall keep at it though! Beauty is pain and all that junk!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalirren View Post
    The only person in the past two pages who has known what (s)he has been talking about is Heliomance.
    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    I just don't want to have long romantic conversations or any sort of drama with my computer, okay? It knows what kind of porn I watch. I don't want to mess that up by allowing it to judge any of my choices in romance.

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  14. - Top - End - #884
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Quote Originally Posted by SaintRidley View Post
    So, on less contentious things, what's news everybody?

    I'm applying to PhD programs right now. I had forgotten how much I hate applying to schools.
    Ooh. What subject?
    I'm working on filling out transfer apps to Stony Brook University because their Chem program is better than my school's Chem program. (Also tuition is like one fourth the tuition at my school, and at this rate, I'm not keeping my scholarship past this next semester.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Astrella View Post
    Whiny stuff
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    Blech, I've been feeling really dysphoric again these last few days... which made me notice something; I feel sorta detached / foreign to reality. It's like, even when I'm really upset, or angry, or happy, it's still like I'm just watching from the sideline. I've been trying to get back into spriting this last week as a distraction, but it keeps feeling fake.
    :<
    Hope things get better soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Heliomance View Post
    Owowow the bits of my face that were previously covered by beard are objecting to their new beardless status. Shaving skin that's not used to being shaved hurts.

    I shall keep at it though! Beauty is pain and all that junk!
    Ouch. I remember last time my mother made me shave with a normal razor instead of my trimmer. It was terrible.


    Hey KenderWizard, what do you think of beards on men?
    Jude P.

  15. - Top - End - #885
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Quote Originally Posted by Astrella View Post
    What are you applying for?

    PhD in Literary Studies, particularly any program where I can specialize in Medieval Literature.
    Whiny stuff
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    Blech, I've been feeling really dysphoric again these last few days... which made me notice something; I feel sorta detached / foreign to reality. It's like, even when I'm really upset, or angry, or happy, it's still like I'm just watching from the sideline. I've been trying to get back into spriting this last week as a distraction, but it keeps feeling fake.
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    Was going to suggest taking up a hobby you might not be doing anymore, but I see you're already trying that. Not sure what more I can do then than tell you I hope you feel better/more attached to reality.



    on beards - that's how I prefer to wear my face. Nice and warm, and also requiring less work than twice daily shaving, which I would need if I wanted to keep my face smooth.
    Last edited by SaintRidley; 2012-01-16 at 11:15 AM.
    Linguist and Invoker of Orcus of the Rudisplorker's Guild
    Quote Originally Posted by The Giant View Post
    Fantasy literature is ONLY worthwhile for what it can tell us about the real world; everything else is petty escapism.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Giant View Post
    No author should have to take the time to say, "This little girl ISN'T evil, folks!" in order for the reader to understand that. It should be assumed that no first graders are irredeemably Evil unless the text tells you they are.

  16. - Top - End - #886
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    I just got back from a three day trip to new York with the part of our choral(musical theatre) department. It was too short. But it was the best three days of my life. I really want to go back, but alas I'm stuck in a suburbia of Indiana.

    On subject of a cookie thread... Can I has cookie?

    On subject of losing man parts:
    Well I'm predominately a bottom, so it wouldn't make much difference but I do believe that a Tireseas experience would be interesting.
    And so doth the winds of destiny change my course for better or worse for the whole of time.
    LGBTitP

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    You're fun to talk to. ^_^
    Quote Originally Posted by goletan
    Maturity is a word boring people use to describe themselves. And crazy is the word they use for fun people.

    Besides, the dirty old guy is a staple of fiction everywhere.

  17. - Top - End - #887
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    I need to air this really stupid blunder I committed on Friday.

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    So I am out to almost all of my family by now: my brother and his wife, however, not yet. I was at a family poker night on Friday, where everybody at the table except my brother and his friend know. My family (myself included) gets really vulgar when we're together, so a lot of improprieties get thrown around but my brother is the only one who will pull out the F-bomb. I do, at one point, tell him "brother, that is our word," but everybody just laughed. In spite of the dirty joking spirit of the game (where everything was fair game for mockery) it was bugging me, but I felt uncomfortable saying anything.

    Anyways. When my brother's wife and her friend come to pick up my brother at the end of the night, and I had soaked up a humourous volume of gin, I went out to say hi. One thing led to another and I blurt out, "Yeah, I know! When I came out to my sister..." -- and, as both their faces freeze in an awkward smile, my brother gets in the car and we all say goodbye. I haven't talked to any of them since.

    I do need to come out to them, but I really wish it hadn't been broached in that awkward unintentional way, and now I'm not sure how to approach damage control. In another way I'm glad I made the blunder because now I pretty much have to do it -- I have been too scared of his reaction to come out to my brother for too long now.



    ...on the other hand, an extra $15 for a bottle goes a long way, ginly speaking. Darnley's View went down like smooth mediciny glacier water no mixing necessary.

    It came up like a black dragon's breath, but that was my own fault
    Last edited by Kneenibble; 2012-01-16 at 11:44 AM.

  18. - Top - End - #888
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Quote Originally Posted by SaintRidley View Post
    PhD in Literary Studies, particularly any program where I can specialize in Medieval Literature.
    Nifty.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kneenibble View Post
    I need to air this really stupid blunder I committed on Friday.

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    So I am out to almost all of my family by now: my brother and his wife, however, not yet. I was at a family poker night on Friday, where everybody at the table except my brother and his friend know. My family (myself included) gets really vulgar when we're together, so a lot of improprieties get thrown around but my brother is the only one who will pull out the F-bomb. I do, at one point, tell him "brother, that is our word," but everybody just laughed. In spite of the dirty joking spirit of the game (where everything was fair game for mockery) it was bugging me, but I felt uncomfortable saying anything.

    Anyways. When my brother's wife and her friend come to pick up my brother at the end of the night, and I had soaked up a humourous volume of gin, I went out to say hi. One thing led to another and I blurt out, "Yeah, I know! When I came out to my sister..." -- and, as both their faces freeze in an awkward smile, my brother gets in the car and we all say goodbye. I haven't talked to any of them since.

    I do need to come out to them, but I really wish it hadn't been broached in that awkward unintentional way, and now I'm not sure how to approach damage control. In another way I'm glad I made the blunder because now I pretty much have to do it -- I have been too scared of his reaction to come out to my brother for too long now.



    ...on the other hand, an extra $15 for a bottle goes a long way, ginly speaking. Darnley's View went down like smooth mediciny glacier water no mixing necessary.

    It came up like a black dragon's breath, but that was my own fault
    Welp. Hope that isn't too awkward. Is your brother kind of homophobic or something? Anyway, I hope things turn out alright for you. Good luck.
    Jude P.

  19. - Top - End - #889
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Quote Originally Posted by Kneenibble View Post
    I need to air this really stupid blunder I committed on Friday.

    Spoiler
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    So I am out to almost all of my family by now: my brother and his wife, however, not yet. I was at a family poker night on Friday, where everybody at the table except my brother and his friend know. My family (myself included) gets really vulgar when we're together, so a lot of improprieties get thrown around but my brother is the only one who will pull out the F-bomb. I do, at one point, tell him "brother, that is our word," but everybody just laughed. In spite of the dirty joking spirit of the game (where everything was fair game for mockery) it was bugging me, but I felt uncomfortable saying anything.

    Anyways. When my brother's wife and her friend come to pick up my brother at the end of the night, and I had soaked up a humourous volume of gin, I went out to say hi. One thing led to another and I blurt out, "Yeah, I know! When I came out to my sister..." -- and, as both their faces freeze in an awkward smile, my brother gets in the car and we all say goodbye. I haven't talked to any of them since.

    I do need to come out to them, but I really wish it hadn't been broached in that awkward unintentional way, and now I'm not sure how to approach damage control. In another way I'm glad I made the blunder because now I pretty much have to do it -- I have been too scared of his reaction to come out to my brother for too long now.



    ...on the other hand, an extra $15 for a bottle goes a long way, ginly speaking. Darnley's View went down like smooth mediciny glacier water no mixing necessary.
    Well that sucks...

    On a different note, my mother (who was on the trip to New York with us) said that Priscilla Queen of the Desert was the grossest thing she's seen in her life, I don't know whether it was the drag queens or the fact that gay people were gay people and a transexual. I personally thought the show was great, the energy was amazing, and what story they had was pretty good, not to mention it was funny as hell! But she knows I'm gay, but I'm not gonna dress up in drag except for like a costume party or like a one time thing if I can actually pull it off, and she says it to my face. I was very glad that the next place we were going to was the airport to go home. But there were so many abs in that show...
    And so doth the winds of destiny change my course for better or worse for the whole of time.
    LGBTitP

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    Quote Originally Posted by Arachu View Post
    You're fun to talk to. ^_^
    Quote Originally Posted by goletan
    Maturity is a word boring people use to describe themselves. And crazy is the word they use for fun people.

    Besides, the dirty old guy is a staple of fiction everywhere.

  20. - Top - End - #890
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Quote Originally Posted by The Succubus View Post
    We are The Borg. Resistance is unnecessary. You will be assimilated if you want to be. Your biological and technological distinctiveness may be added to our own, if it is cool with you.
    Ooh... I volunteer for assimilation. It's been ages since I've been part of a good hive mind.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kneenibble View Post
    I need to air this really stupid blunder I committed on Friday.

    Spoiler
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    So I am out to almost all of my family by now: my brother and his wife, however, not yet. I was at a family poker night on Friday, where everybody at the table except my brother and his friend know. My family (myself included) gets really vulgar when we're together, so a lot of improprieties get thrown around but my brother is the only one who will pull out the F-bomb. I do, at one point, tell him "brother, that is our word," but everybody just laughed. In spite of the dirty joking spirit of the game (where everything was fair game for mockery) it was bugging me, but I felt uncomfortable saying anything.

    Anyways. When my brother's wife and her friend come to pick up my brother at the end of the night, and I had soaked up a humourous volume of gin, I went out to say hi. One thing led to another and I blurt out, "Yeah, I know! When I came out to my sister..." -- and, as both their faces freeze in an awkward smile, my brother gets in the car and we all say goodbye. I haven't talked to any of them since.

    I do need to come out to them, but I really wish it hadn't been broached in that awkward unintentional way, and now I'm not sure how to approach damage control. In another way I'm glad I made the blunder because now I pretty much have to do it -- I have been too scared of his reaction to come out to my brother for too long now.



    ...on the other hand, an extra $15 for a bottle goes a long way, ginly speaking. Darnley's View went down like smooth mediciny glacier water no mixing necessary.

    It came up like a black dragon's breath, but that was my own fault
    Well, at least it has positive (if accidental) effects. If you need advice, just ask. And if you need to lay off the gin, I can spend hours hugging you so you can't actually get the bottle to your face.
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    My motto: Repensum Est Canicula.

    Quote Originally Posted by turkishproverb View Post
    I am not getting into a shootout with Golentan. Too many gun-arms.
    Leiningen will win, even if he must lose in the attempt.

    Credit to Astrella for the new party avatar.

  21. - Top - End - #891

    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Quote Originally Posted by Serpentine View Post
    I quite like being female, but I think I'd be okay with being male as well. I'd be able to wee standing up! :D and also get off easier <.<
    You can already do both of those, it just takes more practice. All part of the Evil Matriarchial Plot to make us men redundant.

    Kneenibble: You have one huge advantage a lot of other people don't. You have the rest of your family to run interference and find out what's on their minds. It might take your brother/SIL some time to wrap their heads around this, but an anti-homophobic family environment and having people who aren't you to process things with should make the process much faster and smoother than it usually is.

  22. - Top - End - #892
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    Well, at least it has positive (if accidental) effects. If you need advice, just ask. And if you need to lay off the gin, I can spend hours hugging you so you can't actually get the bottle to your face.
    Oooooh can I help? Kneenibble and golentan is like basically a form of heaven.
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  23. - Top - End - #893
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Thank you for replies, mes amis.

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    Quote Originally Posted by noparlpf View Post
    Welp. Hope that isn't too awkward. Is your brother kind of homophobic or something? Anyway, I hope things turn out alright for you. Good luck.
    Thanks.

    He's not maliciously homophobic -- just casually so, in the way that straight men often are.

    Quote Originally Posted by supernerd View Post
    Well that sucks...

    On a different note, my mother (who was on the trip to New York with us) said that Priscilla Queen of the Desert was the grossest thing she's seen in her life, I don't know whether it was the drag queens or the fact that gay people were gay people and a transexual. I personally thought the show was great, the energy was amazing, and what story they had was pretty good, not to mention it was funny as hell! But she knows I'm gay, but I'm not gonna dress up in drag except for like a costume party or like a one time thing if I can actually pull it off, and she says it to my face. I was very glad that the next place we were going to was the airport to go home. But there were so many abs in that show...
    Priscilla Queen of the Desert is an immortal golden work of art. Your mother has only demonstrated a lack of taste, which thankfully can be educated.

    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    Well, at least it has positive (if accidental) effects. If you need advice, just ask. And if you need to lay off the gin, I can spend hours hugging you so you can't actually get the bottle to your face.
    I could use some advice on the damage control part.
    I was going to call my sister-in-law today to try and catch her before she leaves work. I don't know what the conversation in the car was like after I left, it could have been anything from "dude your brother just basically said he's gay," to awkward silence to completely nothing to do with me.

    Either way I feel like I should bring it up to her first, and possibly ask her advice about broaching it with my brother. She used to manage a hair salon, and is kind of a bio-queen herself, so she knows gay guys galore.

    Do you think that's an appropriate way to handle it?

    As for the other part, I need to lay off a lot of things that come in bottles. So yes. Hug hours please.

    Quote Originally Posted by Reluctance View Post
    Kneenibble: You have one huge advantage a lot of other people don't. You have the rest of your family to run interference and find out what's on their minds. It might take your brother/SIL some time to wrap their heads around this, but an anti-homophobic family environment and having people who aren't you to process things with should make the process much faster and smoother than it usually is.
    You're right. This is not a case where other family members are inhospitable or hard-hearted about it. I've been really lucky with my immediate family being so accepting thus far.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lix Lorn View Post
    Oooooh can I help? Kneenibble and golentan is like basically a form of heaven.
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    Last edited by Kneenibble; 2012-01-16 at 01:37 PM.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Quote Originally Posted by Astrella View Post
    Whiny stuff
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    Blech, I've been feeling really dysphoric again these last few days... which made me notice something; I feel sorta detached / foreign to reality. It's like, even when I'm really upset, or angry, or happy, it's still like I'm just watching from the sideline. I've been trying to get back into spriting this last week as a distraction, but it keeps feeling fake.
    I don't know how to help with that, but it sounds like a form/symptom of depression. Do you talk to someone about this stuff?

    Quote Originally Posted by noparlpf View Post

    Hey KenderWizard, what do you think of beards on men?
    Uh, genderally -- That was a Freudian typo! I mean, generally speaking? Or do I personally find them attractive? Or do I have gender/feminism issues with them? Or do I know of gender/feminism issues? Or what?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kneenibble View Post
    I need to air this really stupid blunder I committed on Friday.

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    So I am out to almost all of my family by now: my brother and his wife, however, not yet. I was at a family poker night on Friday, where everybody at the table except my brother and his friend know. My family (myself included) gets really vulgar when we're together, so a lot of improprieties get thrown around but my brother is the only one who will pull out the F-bomb. I do, at one point, tell him "brother, that is our word," but everybody just laughed. In spite of the dirty joking spirit of the game (where everything was fair game for mockery) it was bugging me, but I felt uncomfortable saying anything.

    Anyways. When my brother's wife and her friend come to pick up my brother at the end of the night, and I had soaked up a humourous volume of gin, I went out to say hi. One thing led to another and I blurt out, "Yeah, I know! When I came out to my sister..." -- and, as both their faces freeze in an awkward smile, my brother gets in the car and we all say goodbye. I haven't talked to any of them since.

    I do need to come out to them, but I really wish it hadn't been broached in that awkward unintentional way, and now I'm not sure how to approach damage control. In another way I'm glad I made the blunder because now I pretty much have to do it -- I have been too scared of his reaction to come out to my brother for too long now.



    ...on the other hand, an extra $15 for a bottle goes a long way, ginly speaking. Darnley's View went down like smooth mediciny glacier water no mixing necessary.

    It came up like a black dragon's breath, but that was my own fault
    Maybe this will turn out to be a good thing! Maybe you end up out to them without having to do the awkward "So, I have to tell you guys something..." conversation. You should proceed however seems best and most comfortable for you and them. Whether that's talking to them individually, talking to them together, or leaving it for the moment to see if they bring it up, mostly depends on how ye like to deal with things and what would work best. If you think talking to your sister-in-law would be best, I'd go with your instinct.

    Cheerfairy, Kenderwoman and Geologist by Succubus, Feminist Geomancer by Astrella, Kender Wizard by me

  25. - Top - End - #895
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Quote Originally Posted by KenderWizard View Post
    Uh, genderally -- That was a Freudian typo! I mean, generally speaking? Or do I personally find them attractive? Or do I have gender/feminism issues with them? Or do I know of gender/feminism issues? Or what?
    Well, I don't think anyone would especially mind you going with "yes" in regards to all of these questions.
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Quote Originally Posted by Kneenibble View Post
    Thank you for replies, mes amis.

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    Thanks.

    He's not maliciously homophobic -- just casually so, in the way that straight men often are.

    I could use some advice on the damage control part.
    I was going to call my sister-in-law today to try and catch her before she leaves work. I don't know what the conversation in the car was like after I left, it could have been anything from "dude your brother just basically said he's gay," to awkward silence to completely nothing to do with me.

    Either way I feel like I should bring it up to her first, and possibly ask her advice about broaching it with my brother. She used to manage a hair salon, and is kind of a bio-queen herself, so she knows gay guys galore.

    Do you think that's an appropriate way to handle it?
    I think talking to his wife first might be a good plan, seeing as she's acquainted with other gay guys. Try to test the waters a bit to gauge his reaction without talking to him about it directly at first.

    Quote Originally Posted by KenderWizard View Post
    Uh, genderally -- That was a Freudian typo! I mean, generally speaking? Or do I personally find them attractive? Or do I have gender/feminism issues with them? Or do I know of gender/feminism issues? Or what?
    Hehe. Freudian typos. Anyway, any or all of those questions are applicable.
    Jude P.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Quote Originally Posted by Astrella View Post
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    Blech, I've been feeling really dysphoric again these last few days... which made me notice something; I feel sorta detached / foreign to reality. It's like, even when I'm really upset, or angry, or happy, it's still like I'm just watching from the sideline. I've been trying to get back into spriting this last week as a distraction, but it keeps feeling fake.
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    Sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better soon. *hugs*

    I've been more dysphoric than usual lately... The inconsistency isn't helping (I keep feeling conflicted about every detail of it, like I'm arguing with myself). It's only been this strong for the last couple of days, but it caught me off guard. I was already stressing over class (I just started a Pre-Calculus class Wednesday, only to learn that I seem to have a phobia of classrooms)...

    (Sorry if I seemed unusually weird yesterday - I had a headache from staying up late and it was hard to concentrate on what all I was writing.)
    Thanks for existing.

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  28. - Top - End - #898
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Hell, I love it when ye let me talk about stuff!

    Alright, so, generally, I think some beards are pretty amazing, y'know, from a practical point of view. Like crazy Viking ones and stuff. Or really impressive muttonchops.

    Speaking personally, I don't find beards attractive. I think they're kinda ... I dunno, gruff. I'm into elves, not dwarves. I can understand the attraction, but beards don't do it for me. (I would support my partner if he really wanted a beard, or if he wanted a beard and was unreasonably pressured by society not to have one. But since he's clean-shaven by choice, and there's no loss of respect that comes with choosing to shave facial hair in our society, it's all good!)

    On feminism; I have noticed, in some groups, typically male-dominated ones, there is a beard worship thing going on. It's generally not too much in-your-face, but it can be a bit wearing, and I'd say even more so for naturally non-beardy men. Cracked.com is a good example. Men with beards are automatically assumed to be more manly and probably fight bears. Men with impressive facial hair are lauded, held as an example to all. It's often done in a very funny way and I suppose it's harmless enough, but it's a bit of a drag, especially paired with the constant "He achieved that feat doubtless due to owning massively large testicles". After a while, you're like "Sooooo, the more beard and the larger the testicles I have, the better a person I am? Fan-friggin-tastic." I know they don't mean it in a hurtful way, but it's part of the Big Strong Manly Men Are Great And Mighty And Powerful thing that does so much damage to women, men, transwomen, transmen, and probably every- and anyone else as well. No one ever says "I would never have had the sheer f***ing ovaries to stand up to the boss and then punch out that tiger like you just did!" ... Can we start that, as a thing?

    Utopian Feminist Solution? Well, hopefully people will finally get the ovaries to say "You know what? Facial hair doesn't define being hardcore."

    Cheerfairy, Kenderwoman and Geologist by Succubus, Feminist Geomancer by Astrella, Kender Wizard by me

  29. - Top - End - #899
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Sorry for not responding to everyone who would warrant a reply from me.

    So many interesting posts...

    BTW, I'm going to make a "deviation" or two for The Purple Avenger, his Team Purple etc over at deviantART, partially because it will enable me to write about themes that would break the rules of these boards, partially... well I would do that sooner or later anyway. I won't use characters made by other members (The Goddess Legabitp, KenderWoman, etc) unless you really, really want me to.*

    *Perhaps we could make our own page there for Giantitp Superheroes?
    Last edited by H Birchgrove; 2012-01-16 at 06:08 PM.
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    Default Re: LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

    Quote Originally Posted by H Birchgrove View Post
    Sorry for not responding to everyone who would warrant a reply from me.

    So many interesting posts...

    BTW, I'm going to make a "deviation" or two for The Purple Avenger, his Team Purple etc over at deviantART, partially because it will enable me to write about themes that would break the rules of these boards, partially... well I would do that sooner or later anyway. I won't use characters made by other members (The Goddess Legabit, KenderWoman, etc) unless you really, really want me to.*

    *Perhaps we could make our own page there for Giantitp Superheroes?
    In the name of Legabitp, I demand this be done.

    Unfortunately my own artistic skills don't extend much beyond OoTS-style work but I'm pretty sure I could come up with a few scenes and what not as needed.

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