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  1. - Top - End - #1471
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 21: Time To Go Bar-Hopping

    Quote Originally Posted by DeadManSleeping View Post
    Having known members of the female subset of the human population, I can say with complete certainty that there are plenty of women who would be more attracted to someone for playing RPGs. And, honestly, I don't think I'd have much in common with someone who was actually turned away by them.
    Good good .

  2. - Top - End - #1472
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Eadin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 21: Time To Go Bar-Hopping

    *sneaks in* Hi
    I need some advice...
    if anyone has time, could they PM me?
    If it's not too much trouble?
    Thanks
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    Eadin by Akrim.elf

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  3. - Top - End - #1473
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dvil's Avatar

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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 21: Time To Go Bar-Hopping

    PM sent
    Add me on Steam!

    Amazing albatross avatar by the lovely and very talented Ceika

  4. - Top - End - #1474
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Eadin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 21: Time To Go Bar-Hopping

    thanks
    Peter by Derjuin
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    Eadin by Akrim.elf

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  5. - Top - End - #1475
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Lord Loss's Avatar

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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 21: Time To Go Bar-Hopping

    I have this problem when it comes to approaching people I'm interested in. At parties, or when I'm out with friends I don't have this problem at all, or eve if I'm anywhere with people I'm comfortable with, I have an easy time flirting, making moves, asking people for numbers, whatever.

    The one time I really have a huge problem making moves is at school. For whatever reason, if there's someone who I don't know very well, or well at all, I'll have trouble just talking to her, nevermind actually asking her out. No clue why I do it, but it means that I miss a lot of chances from waiting too long.

    Thoughts?
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    Also, if anyone has any sort of problem at all that they feel like talking about, my PM box is open.

  6. - Top - End - #1476
    Miniature Giant Space Hamster in the Playground Administrator
     
    Rawhide's Avatar

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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 21: Time To Go Bar-Hopping

    So, some of you may have noticed that there was a certain someone who... exploded recently. I wasn't sure where to put it, but it had the greatest impact on this thread so I will put it here.

    As all of his posts contained such a severe case of swearing, threats, violence, and stalking/harassment, they have all been removed. As have all posts that quoted him. There really was no redeeming feature about any of his posts and they were better off removed. Many of his posts prior to the explosion were deleted by himself.

    Some of you have expressed concern that his password may have been compromised, but I can assure you that every bit of behind the scenes evidence shows this not to be the case. In fact, evidence indicates that it was actually a sockpuppet account designed specifically for this. Both accounts have been banned.

    He also mentioned that he asked me to be banned. I can confirm that this was true. However, he failed to take timezones into consideration and I did not even read the PM until well after the explosion.

    I've been informed that there is still some chatter about this, so I'm posting this to explain both where the posts went and why, and to ask you to respect the privacy of those he lashed out at.

    "My Hobby: Replacing your soap with gravy" by rtg0922, Doll and Clint "Rawhide" Eastwood by Sneak

  7. - Top - End - #1477
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    DeadManSleeping's Avatar

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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 21: Time To Go Bar-Hopping

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Loss View Post
    I have this problem when it comes to approaching people I'm interested in. At parties, or when I'm out with friends I don't have this problem at all, or eve if I'm anywhere with people I'm comfortable with, I have an easy time flirting, making moves, asking people for numbers, whatever.

    The one time I really have a huge problem making moves is at school. For whatever reason, if there's someone who I don't know very well, or well at all, I'll have trouble just talking to her, nevermind actually asking her out. No clue why I do it, but it means that I miss a lot of chances from waiting too long.

    Thoughts?
    This really isn't odd. In the environments in which you're comfortable, you feel less judged. More safe. It's easier to put yourself out there. At school? Forget about it. School environments are full of people judging you. It's scary!

    I don't know how you can solve it. Maybe enlist friends as backup to make school more like your comfort zones when you need it? Even the greatest pilots need wingmen!

  8. - Top - End - #1478
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 21: Time To Go Bar-Hopping

    Quote Originally Posted by Rawhide View Post
    So, some of you may have noticed that there was a certain someone who... exploded recently. I wasn't sure where to put it, but it had the greatest impact on this thread so I will put it here.

    As all of his posts contained such a severe case of swearing, threats, violence, and stalking/harassment, they have all been removed. As have all posts that quoted him. There really was no redeeming feature about any of his posts and they were better off removed. Many of his posts prior to the explosion were deleted by himself.

    Some of you have expressed concern that his password may have been compromised, but I can assure you that every bit of behind the scenes evidence shows this not to be the case. In fact, evidence indicates that it was actually a sockpuppet account designed specifically for this. Both accounts have been banned.

    He also mentioned that he asked me to be banned. I can confirm that this was true. However, he failed to take timezones into consideration and I did not even read the PM until well after the explosion.

    I've been informed that there is still some chatter about this, so I'm posting this to explain both where the posts went and why, and to ask you to respect the privacy of those he lashed out at.
    :-(. Disappointed to learn that it was actually him. even moreso that it was just a sockpuppet account in the first place. Ahh well, such is life I guess. Thanks for the update though!

  9. - Top - End - #1479
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Lord Loss's Avatar

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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 21: Time To Go Bar-Hopping

    Thanks

    It's usually not much of annoyance to me cause I fall for people a lot less in school than out and none of my relationships have sprung up from in school, but there's this really cute girl who's locker is right next to mine and she's randomly interjected herself into my conversations from time to time, and my friends have caught her checking me out and I think we've both caught each other checking each other out. Not necessarily conclusive or anything, but worth checking out. Except I'm having trouble summing up the courage to even say hi or start a conversation.

    Also while I'm on the topic, I've learned a lot about relationships in the past few months, going from having no one interested in me to being acutely aware of multiple people being interested in me. I've changed a lot in that time - success with women meant that I was more confident, confidence is sexy, means more success with women I suppose is a way of putting it but the point is relationships really is something you leanr - sex appeal is a lot more than looks and you really can change it. Also recognizing body language. I've been rambling for a while now and I don't exactly remember where I was going with that. XD
    Bienvenue Au Kébec !!!
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    Also, if anyone has any sort of problem at all that they feel like talking about, my PM box is open.

  10. - Top - End - #1480

    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 21: Time To Go Bar-Hopping

    Maeglin_Dubh:
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    Holy crap. Something to actually work with.

    Saying "I don't get too much chance to go out and be social", by itself, sounds like you're either unwilling or unable to socialize normally. Give a practical reason why it's difficult. Having a hard time meeting new people due to odd work hours paints a very different picture from having a hard time meeting people because you're painfully shy.

    Your Message Me could stand to be a touch more challenging. Something like starting with "You could keep up with me on an extended hike..." Cut the "If you'd like to chat or I messaged you." (That's so obvious it's pointless, and you should give a reason besides "if you have nothing better to do with your time". That's a good reason to message someone in general, but you want to give them a reason to message you in particular.) Still rather solid, though. You give concrete ideas. That's good.

    You might get more results changing the thumbnail of your firebird picture to the actual head/egg. You have to be in the picture, but nothing says you have to be in the thumbnail. That, and a unique thumb can generate more click-through traffic. (See myth #4.) Still, the best thing you can do is change the order of your pics from time to time. That, answering questions, and minor profile edits all show you on the home screen. Again, more clicks means more potential dates seeing you.




    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Loss View Post
    ...I suppose is a way of putting it but the point is relationships really is something you leanr - sex appeal is a lot more than looks and you really can change it. Also recognizing body language. I've been rambling for a while now and I don't exactly remember where I was going with that. XD
    That's important. Also important is remembering what works, whether or not it feels storybook enough. The number of people who shoot themselves in the foot is staggering.

  11. - Top - End - #1481
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Lizardfolk

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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 21: Time To Go Bar-Hopping

    Being neurotic doesn't get guys babes? And here I thought it was because I was doing it all wrong!

    Actually, while I was somewhat joking, why does that seem to be portrayed in the media? (I think that's relevant to this whole ... topic.)
    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonprime View Post
    AT, I esteem you above all other men now.

  12. - Top - End - #1482

    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 21: Time To Go Bar-Hopping

    Wish fulfillment.

    For guys, it's simple. If nerdy guys got the girl with any regularity, this thread wouldn't exist. You sell a lot more tickets to them with a fantasy than you do with the reality they're already used to.

    For girls, it's a bit more subtle. There's a vast gulf between what you think you'd like out of a relationship and what you actually go for. Notice guys complaining that they only meet crazy chicks, and girls complaining that they only meet jerks. When they sit down and think about it, the idea of a nice, normal, stable guy appeals to them. It's just that practice diverges pretty far from theory.

  13. - Top - End - #1483
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    Lizardfolk

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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 21: Time To Go Bar-Hopping

    Yes, but ... You don't see nerds being portrayed as attractive (not commonly, though that is irrelevant. As a friend of the feminine persuasion said earlier today, plenty of gals find geekiness to be attractive.) I mean really neurotic people. Dr. House, for example.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonprime View Post
    AT, I esteem you above all other men now.

  14. - Top - End - #1484

    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 21: Time To Go Bar-Hopping

    #1: TV/movie stars are generally attractive to begin with, and then have hair/makeup/wardrobe people go over them. People will give you a lot more leeway if you happen to look good.

    #2: They're protagonists. Protagonists get all sorts of perks that we mere mortals don't. Such as scriptwriters working in their favor, and the ability to see everything that happens to them in a very controlled manner. Someone who gets to snark around without consequence is attractive. It's just difficult to be that in control without the world itself bending around you.

  15. - Top - End - #1485
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    DeadManSleeping's Avatar

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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 21: Time To Go Bar-Hopping

    Quote Originally Posted by Reluctance View Post
    For guys, it's simple. If nerdy guys got the girl with any regularity, this thread wouldn't exist. You sell a lot more tickets to them with a fantasy than you do with the reality they're already used to.
    And yet, this thread is chock full of nerdy guys who get girls. It seems to happen with quite a bit of regularity.

    Chronic singleness is hardly relegated to nerds, despite what society tells us. It's simply something that coincides with a few personality traits, many of which often coincide with enjoying a nice night of video games or D&D or comics or what have you.

    Oh, and new thread

  16. - Top - End - #1486
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    dehro's Avatar

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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 21: Time To Go Bar-Hopping

    it seems to me that this thread is choc full of nerds who are not defined solely by their nerdiness.
    yes, being nerd isn't, by far, as much of a stigma as it used to be..but I suspect that not many girls get hot under the collar when you talk to them in binary or klingon.
    so, there's no harm in mentioning nerd-ish interests..as long as you realize that talking about your computer/manga collection for the entire date is almost as bad as expounding about your ex or your mother.
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