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  1. Top - End - #271
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    "If I am the only character who took profession (cooking) as a class skill, I am not allowed to slip potions of gender bending into the party's food."

    "I am going to turn them back to men, even if I think they look better as women."

    "If another PC is going to get romantically involved with my female PC at anytime I am to warn them in advance if she has been "experimenting" on her own body."

    "I am not allowed to play D&D for at least 1 week after downloading a new X-change game."
    *If I genderchange the barbarian using magic, I will not be surprised if the new shim gender-changes me by force.

    *Slowly.

    * With a rusty, damp knife.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

  2. Top - End - #272
    Halfling in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I am not allowed to carry a box of bastard swords (katanas) on my back and then throw them in battle at the ground to walk on.
    *I may not throw 8 katanas per round at an enemy, even if I am a bloodstorm blade with 8 attacks for a full round action.
    *Even if my character is named Mifune
    *Especially if my character is named Mifune
    *I may not make characters based on anime period

  3. Top - End - #273
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Sith_Happens's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Drathmar View Post
    *I am not allowed to carry a box of bastard swords (katanas) on my back and then throw them in battle at the ground to walk on.
    *I may not throw 8 katanas per round at an enemy, even if I am a bloodstorm blade with 8 attacks for a full round action.
    *Even if my character is named Mifune
    *Especially if my character is named Mifune
    *I may not make characters based on anime period
    * My character's legend does not begin in the 12th century.
    * I may not demand that the party follow a series of 1000 increasingly insane rules just so they can adventure with me.
    * If my character could one-shot the entire campaign, I may not say that I'm "just here to observe" the final battle.
    * I'm not from the United Kingdom.
    * I'm not looking for him/her.
    * I'm not going to California.
    * FOOL!
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  4. Top - End - #274
    Troll in the Playground
     
    jindra34's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Sith_Happens View Post
    * If my character could one-shot the entire campaign, I may not say that I'm "just here to observe" the final battle.
    *Nor may I one-shot the entire campaign and then sit out the final part claiming to have already done my part.
    avatar by Three Shades
    Official Founder of the Defenders of the Kitsune, Nekomata, Tengu, Tanookie and Mujina. Please leave the Real World at the door.

  5. Top - End - #275
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Vixsor Lumin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I am not allowed to combine cloth and sovreign glue and create duct tape.

    *I'm not allowed to use duct tape and animate object to create an army

    *animate rope does not affect rolled up duct tape

    *I am not allowed to make duct tape armor

    *yes IRL duct tape fixes everything, but your not allowed to use it in place of any tool

    *especially not to be used in Heal checks.

    *no. Ruling the world through power of tape is not allowed.

    *if I try that, a rebellion of solvent users will over throw me
    Amazing Jack avatar by Tiffanie Lirle
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    Quote Originally Posted by PallElendro View Post
    I see you're dressed in black with a bow.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iy4iQvJo24U

  6. Top - End - #276
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Antonok's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Ignore this post, might have double posted due to server error
    Last edited by Antonok; 2012-02-21 at 10:26 PM.
    Chrono Crusade avi by Ceika.

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  7. Top - End - #277
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Antonok's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    *If I genderchange the barbarian using magic, I will not be surprised if the new shim gender-changes me by force.
    *Having my CE Halfling Sorcerer bluff the LG Paladin into wearing a Belt of Gender Change will allow said paladin a Smite Evil against me.

    *Even if it is metagaming due to me wearing an item that prevents alignment detection.

    *My CE Halfling is not allowed to take the Winged templete ever again.

    *Nor is he allowed any of the following:
    Rod of Wonder,
    Staff of Charming,
    Staff of Power,
    the party's only healing wand,
    conjuration spells,
    evocation spells,
    spells at all,
    a Baslisk's severed head,
    the Head's Up feat,
    Chaotic Evil alignment,
    the right to be a halfling.
    the right to even exist at all.

    (He wasn't mass murderer evil, but he was definitely an evil little prick)
    Chrono Crusade avi by Ceika.

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  8. Top - End - #278
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Just because a Gaze attack isn't a natural weapon, dosen't mean I can weaponries the medusa's head.
    * Flesh to stone is not flesh to diamond, no matter if the princess planet disagrees
    *Cannot carry around donkey jawbones so I can 'get biblical on someone’s ass.'
    *Cannot use handle animal to train an elephant to pickpocket.
    *Particularly if the best part of that plan is if the elephant is caught, I still have an elephant.
    *Cannot wish to roll natural twenties forever.
    *cannot use an epic spell to achieve the same result.
    *Cannot train a permanent animated object to use magic device.
    *Especially if the magic device in question is a wand of fly, and the object in question is a boat.
    *Making retributive strikes is not to be a repeated thing.
    *potions of light healing are not suppositories, and it is wrong to tell any players this.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

  9. Top - End - #279
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Mystify's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    *Cannot wish to roll natural twenties forever.
    *cannot use an epic spell to achieve the same result.
    *Cannot be a greater deity either.

  10. Top - End - #280
    Troll in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * I don't have to see the other PCs' identification.
    * The warforged are not the droids I'm looking for.
    * They can go about their business.

  11. Top - End - #281
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Sith_Happens's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay R View Post
    * I don't have to see the other PCs' identification.
    * The warforged are not the droids I'm looking for.
    * They can go about their business.
    * I do not want to sell them deathsticks.
    * I want to go home and rethink my life.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  12. Top - End - #282
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Beowulf DW's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    *Cannot carry around donkey jawbones so I can 'get biblical on someone’s ass.'
    *If I am given a fetch quest involving 100...things, I may not decide bring back 200...things, to impress my future father-in-law and win the hand of the princess.

    *My cleric may not carve ten laws into two tablets, break them, and then put them in a box just so that he can melt his enemies' faces.
    Avatar by the incomparable Herpestidae.

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickerdart View Post
    Fortunately, a Monk 1/Warblade 19 uses Iron Heart Surge to end the Monk character class, and the day is saved.

  13. Top - End - #283
    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf DW View Post
    *My cleric may not carve ten laws into two tablets, break them, and then put them in a box just so that he can melt his enemies' faces.
    *Creating three tablets, but pretending there were only two because he accidentally dropped one, is right out.*

  14. Top - End - #284
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    HalflingPirate

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *if the player in question happens to be deaf, that does not mean that character automatically knows Drow Sign Language for free.

    *"When in doubt, throw the halfling" is not a viable tactic.
    *Especially if said halfling is also a sorceress.
    *Substituting this with catapults is considered bad form.
    The spirit within me burns with an awesome power!
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  15. Top - End - #285
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *If my character ever becomes the leader of a town or village, my evacuation plan for the women and children in case it ever gets attacked can under no circumstances involve catapults.

  16. Top - End - #286
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Lonely Tylenol's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by TheJudicator View Post
    *"When in doubt, throw the halfling" is not a viable tactic.
    Nor, I must add, is "punt the gnome".
    Homebrewiness!
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  17. Top - End - #287
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    blackjack217's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *fighting with your off hand just so you can say "I am not left handed" is considered bad form
    *If you do so you're opponent will reveal that he is not left handed either.


    Countdown to the zombie Apocalypse: braaaaaaains.

  18. Top - End - #288
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Elemental's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *No plan can on any occasion involve a checklist more than one metre in length.
    **Cheating by putting it in book form will not be tolerated.
    Merry Happy New Year!

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  19. Top - End - #289
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Beowulf DW's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Making Plan A be "Think of a plan," may not be the wisest course of action.
    *Making Plan B be "Kill it with fire," will come back to bite you in the ass.
    *Making Plan C be "Run away and think of a new plan," might actually work, but it will earn your character a reputation as a wimp.
    Avatar by the incomparable Herpestidae.

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickerdart View Post
    Fortunately, a Monk 1/Warblade 19 uses Iron Heart Surge to end the Monk character class, and the day is saved.

  20. Top - End - #290
    Halfling in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Lonely Tylenol View Post
    Nor, I must add, is "punt the gnome".
    Wait... I thought "punt the gnome" was ALWAYS a valid tactic, regardless of the situation.

  21. Top - End - #291
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Sgt. Cookie's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Drathmar View Post
    Wait... I thought "punt the gnome" was ALWAYS a valid tactic, regardless of the situation.
    Not when you are trying to convince Gnomes that you do not punt them...
    Open the lid and snatch a homebrewed treat from Cookie's Jar

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  22. Top - End - #292
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Sith_Happens's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Sgt. Cookie View Post
    Not when you are trying to convince Gnomes that you do not punt them...
    * I may not make a character capable of convincing gnomes that I won't punt them by doing exactly that.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  23. Top - End - #293
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Cannot control more than tywice my bodyweight in minions at any one time.
    *Cannot use iron body to increase my bodyweight for this purpose.
    *My cohorts cannot also have cohorts.
    *If we are using the "Plushyfication" houserule, cannot sell the plushy.
    *My sandwich doesn't tell me to kill people.
    *My sword MIGHT tell me to kill people. not allowed to listen.
    *My cohorts cannot have cohorts, giving me an army a million strong.
    *If I try this, I have to pay for them and feed them.
    *Not to great-cleave the huge pile of minions to prove a point.
    *No, I cannot put ranks into Profession: Corspecrafter, even if a necromancser.
    * We are not playing nethack, and so yes, your charcter can in fact equip pants.
    Have a deviantart!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

  24. Top - End - #294
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Necroticplague's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    * We are not playing nethack, and so yes, your charcter can in fact equip pants.
    Oddly enough, their isn't a "pants" magic item slot, so actually you have to stat up pants as custom slotless magic items.
    Avatar by TinyMushroom.

  25. Top - End - #295
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Sith_Happens's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Necroticplague View Post
    Oddly enough, their isn't a "pants" magic item slot, so actually you have to stat up pants as custom slotless magic items.
    Or, you know, just not bother wearing pants.

    ...Which is a perfect segway into these:

    * I may not use Iron Heart Surge as a "performance"-enhancer.
    * After the scene fades to black, I may not make a bunch of random skill checks and "let everyone imagine what the heck that means."
    ** Especially not Handle Animal.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  26. Top - End - #296
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Arbane's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Sith_Happens View Post
    * After the scene fades to black, I may not make a bunch of random skill checks and "let everyone imagine what the heck that means."
    ** Especially not Handle Animal.
    *** Or Ride.
    Imagine if all real-world conversations were like internet D&D conversations...
    Protip: DnD is an incredibly social game played by some of the most socially inept people on the planet - Lev

  27. Top - End - #297
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Arbane View Post
    *** Or Ride.
    **** Disguise is out of the question.

  28. Top - End - #298
    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Randomguy View Post
    **** Disguise is out of the question.
    **** If you make a Use Rope check, you have to make sure a safety word is specified.

  29. Top - End - #299
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Beowulf DW's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by ClothedInVelvet View Post
    **** If you make a Use Rope check, you have to make sure a safety word is specified.
    *****A UMD check in reference to a Rod of Wonder is crossing the line.
    Avatar by the incomparable Herpestidae.

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickerdart View Post
    Fortunately, a Monk 1/Warblade 19 uses Iron Heart Surge to end the Monk character class, and the day is saved.

  30. Top - End - #300
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    **in a medeval setting I may not under any circumstance craft a .50 cal

    **Nor may I build a Mini-gun
    *it is not named sasha
    *it may not be more intelegent than I am
    *It may not cost $2.6 million to fire for 8 and a half seconds.

    **if I become a sniper it does not make me australian
    *I may not be a deranged gunman, paid assassin is acceptable though
    *Professional have standards though
    *parents will not approve

    **Sun Tzu did not take two of every animal on a boat a beat them all up
    *nor is this event the origin of the word Zoo
    Warning!! This poster makes frequent use of Sarcasm, Jokes, and Exaggeration. He intends no offense.

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