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  1. - Top - End - #301
    Troll in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * My backstory does not include destroying an entire pantheon.
    * My backstory does not include causing Atlantis to sink.
    * My backstory does not include burning down eighteen villages.
    * My backstory does not include permanently backing up the sewers of a major city.
    *The DM will write my backstory.

  2. - Top - End - #302
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crafty Cultist's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * The lightning rail conductor is not Claire Stanfield
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ms.Malbolge View Post
    Listen to the Crafy one. He speaks the truth, except when he doesn't which may still be the truth hidden behind a veil of crafty craftiness.

    Or something.


  3. - Top - End - #303
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by ClothedInVelvet View Post
    **** If you make a Use Rope check, you have to make sure a safety word is specified.
    ***** 'What is love' will not be accepted.

    * The verbal component for Telekinesis is not 'The power.... to move you'

    * you do not need to burn every corpse just in case they're a Polymorphed Troll
    ** Nor is there any need to burn them 'in case there's any wandering Necromancers around'
    *** Raising the corpses as undead yourself before said hypothetical Necromancer can do it, therefor keeping them under your (and indirectly, your party) control instead of some random NPC is still an Evil act.

  4. - Top - End - #304
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Sith_Happens's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Crafty Cultist View Post
    * The lightning rail conductor is not Claire Stanfield
    ** Unless I make too much trouble on the train.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  5. - Top - End - #305
    Orc in the Playground
     
    DwarfBarbarianGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *My character cannot be the Lone Wanderer and The Courier.
    **Fine, he can. But he can't focus on any weapon skills.

  6. - Top - End - #306
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Socratov's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *no I may not have a rod of lordly might
    *If I have one I'm not a lord of rodly might
    *no, the rod is not, I reapeat, not a metaphor...

    Debater of the Tyrion Lannister fanclub

    “The gods help those who help themselves, and my word, didn't I help myself.” - Avatar by the awesome Grinner

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  7. - Top - End - #307
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Elemental's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Jumping at the paladin will not convince him to let you accompany him on his travels.
    **If he has to repeatedly hit you in the head with his shield so you stop scaring him, he will not fall, because that counts as self-defense.
    Merry Happy New Year!

    Mauve Shirt, Savannah, Gnomish Wanderer, Cuthalion and Smuchmuch get cookies for making me avatars. (::)
    Nightmare by Smuchmuch. (::)

    Co Founder of LUTAS - For all your less than useful heroes out there.

    My Deviant Art. Careful, it's full of ponies.

    Dragons!

  8. - Top - End - #308
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Sith_Happens's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * My fighter does not move at the speed of sword.
    ** My warblade using Time Stands Still does, but I may not actually say so.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  9. - Top - End - #309
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    OldWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Because he was getting uppity with me is not a valid excuse for my actions.
    **No one is getting uppity with me.
    ***Lack of respect is no reason to unleash the fairy super beast on the fairies.
    ****Not allowed to enslave the fairy super beast and order it to go grocery shopping.
    *****Fine I'm allowed to make it fight the tarrasque but only because it would be awesome.
    ******I am allowed to use my leadership feat and bard spells to enlist the homeless I can not use my vast wealth to arm them to the teeth.
    *******I do not merely have to wink three times to unleash my homeless man army.
    ********I can not say the cleric was forced to close the door of a small hole on the grounds that I made it into my new home. (message me if you want a background on that bad boy and if you aren't let me add a subsection to the rule.)
    I must accept the fact that I am now shrapnel.
    ********* Not allowed to use the threat that I will turn back into shrapnel but I probably will anyways.
    This is horrifying beyond anything Lovecraft ever wrote or Giger ever drew.

    MCulpa http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVopG...el_video_title
    http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=192558





    (Screw the point)-Doomboy911

  10. - Top - End - #310
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    BlueKnightGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * When encountering the BBEG, I may not chalange him to a Ham-off to decide who is the real villain here
    ** If I do make the BEG submit, I may not take his place and dump said BBEG on the party
    ** My PC's motivation for joining the party cannot be that the BBEG isn't villainy enough and needs to be replaced

    * The party paladin does not apreciate my plan to stop the bandits if it involves a citysworth of casualties
    ** Or opening a gate to hell beneath them does not work either
    ** inding solars to commit said mass murder/opening the gate to hell does not make it any less "evil"
    ** The party paladin is not secretly begging me for a quick Morality Unbound, nor is he secretly supportive of my evil
    ** I cannot use the paladin as ammunition in a seige.
    ** This cannot be because his average damage and survivability are far to low to make it worth it
    ** If I point that out I will get smoten. multiple times.
    love of mine, someday you will die,
    and I'll be close behind
    to follow you into the dark


    death cab for cutie - I will follow you into the dark

    Bleach D20 classes project - come, we wants all your brians!
    BleachD20 source book

  11. - Top - End - #311
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Rockphed's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackestOfMages View Post
    ** I cannot use the paladin as ammunition in a seige.
    ** This cannot be because his average damage and survivability are far to low to make it worth it
    ** If I point that out I will get smoten. multiple times.
    *The party Barbarian is also forbidden ammunition.
    **Okay, if he asks for it, fire away.
    ***Complaining of boredom is not asking for it.
    Dragontar by Serpentine.

    Now offering unsolicited advice.

  12. - Top - End - #312
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *As a Hulking Hurler, may not use other party members as weapons without their permission
    **Just because the rogue gave me permission does not mean that I can throw the wizard

    *May not have a siege crossbow as my main weapon
    **Especially if it's used to remove doors from their frames, their houses and the world of objects larger than a matchstick.
    ***Especially if the only safe place to be when it is used is a hundred feet or more behind the user
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 Internet(s) and 2 Win(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  13. - Top - End - #313
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Ksheep View Post
    *As a Hulking Hurler, may not use other party members as weapons without their permission
    **Just because the rogue gave me permission does not mean that I can throw the wizard

    *May not have a siege crossbow as my main weapon
    **Especially if it's used to remove doors from their frames, their houses and the world of objects larger than a matchstick.
    ***Especially if the only safe place to be when it is used is a hundred feet or more behind the user
    So in other words, can't play Detritus from Discworld

  14. - Top - End - #314
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    TechnoScrabble's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Cannot play a Discworld troll.
    *No more starting the space age before the industrial or even the renaissance ages begin.
    *I am not the God Emperor of the Imperium of Dwarf/Hadozee/Gnome/Man/Half-Elf/Awakened Baboon.
    *STOP. ROLLING. MONKEY CHARACTERS.
    *Apes, hadozee, chimps, and other monkeyish primates count.
    *My rat catcher's dog did NOT just rip off a greater daemon's head, no matter what the rolls say.
    GLORIOUS SOVIET SNAIL SUPERTECHNOLOGY

    Comrade L.E.S.S. by The Mad Hatter!

    Quote Originally Posted by Viper9090 View Post
    My weirdest nightmare has just been replaced.
    Declared terminal 24 December, 2013. Come and get me.

  15. - Top - End - #315
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Tesla_pasta's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * my warforged bard does not have "hextech sub-woofer" as a body feature, nor can he take ranks in Perform (Dubstep)
    * No, not even if "Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites" fits the campaign theme

    * My kobold paladin does not worship Pun Pun

    * My mount can not "crazy ivan"

    * nor can it "sonic rainboom", even if it is a pegasus.

    * Sadly, I cannot iron heart surge Murphy's Law

    *when an enemy fumbles on an itenerative attack, I may not yell "C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER"
    Epic avatar by the Epic Ceika
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    78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature.

    I started mine with the only player waking up in prison

  16. - Top - End - #316
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    {{scrubbed}}
    *If my alchemist makes an extract of greater invisibility, this does not entitle him to go bat**** crazy as soon as he quaffs it.
    *Strength mutagens will not atrophy my genitals.
    * Potions of flight will *get* you high up, they will not *make* you high.
    *It has been made abundantly clear that no, your alchemist cannot quit any time he wants.
    *Even if there are rules for it, cannot make a hwacha.
    *Especially cannot fill it entirely with wands.
    * Am not to use animate object on siege weaponry.
    * or on the traps in my secret volcano lair.
    {{scrubbed}}
    *Our mouseguards are not to have the goal ‘Raft all our enemies”
    *Particularly if I actually go through with it and make a raft out of the shrike we just killed.
    * While using the action cards given, cannot play the attack card in face-up position.
    * Or the defend card, in face down position.
    {{scrubbed}}
    *Cannot play a mouse with 5 ranks in pathfinder and zero in scout.
    *Especially if it’s a sailor.
    *Not to have both a monocle AND an eyepatch, even it would sorta make sense.
    *Using a fishing hook as a grappling hook is okay in mouseguard, and ONLY mouseguard, size categories be dammed.
    * If one player gets a bonus skillpoint for quacking while using duckwise, that does not mean I get a bonus skillpoint for clacking every time I use crabwise.
    *Even if it is an injoke/meme, screaming out “CRAAAAAAAB” will likewise not give me this bonus.
    * Heroically posing, with arms folded and my cape flapping in the non-existent wind it to be kept at a maximum of once/session.
    *Just because journeys are resolved through the conflict mechanics does not mean I can claim I have slain the weather with a cunning feint.
    *…Cannot heroically pose atop the weather.
    Last edited by Mark Hall; 2012-03-04 at 01:31 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

  17. - Top - End - #317
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Any organic characters must be male or female, and do not have the gender option of “neither”
    ** May not play a mind flayer, beholder or nematode just to get around this rule.
    ***My mind flayer character can not force will saves against insanity or blindness by flashing people.

    *No using control winds and control weather just to create good conditions to pose in.
    *The half orc barbarian with 6 int cannot invent a camera of any kind to take pictures of said poses.
    *Even if my half orc barbarian has high cha to boost his intimidate checks, I cannot be a beauty queen.
    Thog too pretty for jail!

    *The party rogue did not once dream of being a masseuse.
    *No matter how friendly my character is, I cannot point out that the mugger's form is all wrong and proceed to give him tips.

  18. - Top - End - #318
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * I may not begin each encounter with the words "R-E-A-D-Y FIGHT!"
    ** Administering a Coup De Graz to a fallen opponent is not to be preluded by the words "FINISH HIM"
    ***nor may my charecter claim this as his catchphrase if he is Finnish


    *My charecter's first name is not Leroy
    *His last name is not Jenkins
    *Nor is it Gibbs

    *Summon instrument does not permit my bard to drop pianos on his enemies
    **tubas and drumsets are also right out.
    ***NO! even if it is a part of the 1812 Overature as written, a cannon is not a musical instrument.

    *Due to my engineering experiance and the resulting methodology of problemsolving that I appy, I may no longer play any of the folowing classes
    Wizard
    Sourceror
    Bard
    Druid
    Cleric
    Psionic
    Paladin
    Commoner
    Warlock
    Anything else with magic or psyonics

    *Physics (applied or theoretical), calculus, chemistry, Engineering (all disciplines), and Biology textbooks are no longer permitted at a gaming session.

    *if my plan involves more than two greek letters, No.
    Warning!! This poster makes frequent use of Sarcasm, Jokes, and Exaggeration. He intends no offense.

  19. - Top - End - #319
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Socratov's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by eulmanis12 View Post
    * I may not begin each encounter with the words "R-E-A-D-Y FIGHT!"
    ** Administering a Coup De Graz to a fallen opponent is not to be preluded by the words "FINISH HIM"
    ***nor may my charecter claim this as his catchphrase if he is Finnish


    *My charecter's first name is not Leroy
    *His last name is not Jenkins
    *Nor is it Gibbs

    *Summon instrument does not permit my bard to drop pianos on his enemies
    **tubas and drumsets are also right out.
    ***NO! even if it is a part of the 1812 Overature as written, a cannon is not a musical instrument.

    *Due to my engineering experiance and the resulting methodology of problemsolving that I appy, I may no longer play any of the folowing classes
    Wizard
    Sourceror
    Bard
    Druid
    Cleric
    Psionic
    Paladin
    Commoner
    Warlock
    Anything else with magic or psyonics

    *Physics (applied or theoretical), calculus, chemistry, Engineering (all disciplines), and Biology textbooks are no longer permitted at a gaming session.

    *if my plan involves more than two greek letters, No.
    play something form TOB and/or incarnum

    anyway,

    *I may not use the social skills in such a way that i end the campaign without a single combat taking place, even if that's what my character would do...
    * That's it, i am hereby officially forbidden to utilise diplomacy if i have a total modifier of +10
    *Yes, this is my last chance of every using diplomacy again...

    Debater of the Tyrion Lannister fanclub

    “The gods help those who help themselves, and my word, didn't I help myself.” - Avatar by the awesome Grinner

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  20. - Top - End - #320
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Mystify's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Randomguy View Post
    ** May not play a mind flayer, beholder or nematode just to get around this rule.
    ***My mind flayer character can not force will saves against insanity or blindness by flashing people.
    ****May not get a symbol of insanity as a tattoo to get around this rule.

  21. - Top - End - #321
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    boomwolf's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I am not to play a lightning mage called cole mcrath.
    *A shapeshifter ranger named alex mercer is worse.
    *Blitzcrank the warforged is right out.
    *NO MORE VIEDO GAME CHARACTERS!


    Quote Originally Posted by Cormag81 View Post
    2117: No matter how good a debater I am out of character there is no way to logically get out of falling after your paladin kills his patron god.

  22. - Top - End - #322
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Sgt. Cookie's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *My Knight has never been to an Electric Castle.
    **Nor has my Barbarian.

    If you got that without looking it up, you're awesome.
    Open the lid and snatch a homebrewed treat from Cookie's Jar

    Ponytar by Dirtytabs

    Like the look of the Prestige Bard/Paladin/Ranger, but don't know how best to use them? There's a guide for that.

  23. - Top - End - #323
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Alabenson's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *For the last time, the paladin's special mount is not Pinkie Pie
    **Nor is it Applejack
    ***Even if you can make the case that she would be LG
    If brute force isn't working, that just means you're not using enough of it.

    When in doubt, set something on fire. If not in doubt, set something on fire anyway.

    My Homebrew


  24. - Top - End - #324
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Siosilvar's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    *Just because journeys are resolved through the conflict mechanics does not mean I can claim I have slain the weather with a cunning feint.
    Of course not. Feints don't do any damage.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alabenson View Post
    Applejack
    *May not use "y'all" as a singular pronoun if the DM grew up in the South.
    Avatar some unholy combination of Winthur and Gato Muerto's ideas.

    +++ Divide By Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot +++

  25. - Top - End - #325
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Esprit15's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    If the DM says that this is just set-up story for everything else so we don't need to roll anything yet, that does not mean kill the BBEG as soon as you see him.

    If I try this, I have to allow him to get away somehow.
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  26. - Top - End - #326
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Marillion's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Sgt. Cookie View Post
    *My Knight has never been to an Electric Castle.
    **Nor has my Barbarian.

    If you got that without looking it up, you're awesome.

    **Nor have they needed to choose between two gates
    **The first one was not plain and old, and the second was not forged of gold
    Quote Originally Posted by Xefas View Post
    I like my women like I like my coffee; 10 feet tall, incomprehensible to the human psyche, and capable of ending life as a triviality.

  27. - Top - End - #327
    Orc in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * My characters can never (again) have the ability to perform ventriloquism by any means.

    * My half-orc barbarian is not allowed to rename the paladin's horse "Breakfast" (or any other meal or food reference).

    * Just because dismembering the big-bad-evil-guy, burning each part in a separate fire, mixing the ashes from each part into a separate block of cement, and dropping each block of cement into different oceans is "the only way to be sure", doesn't mean it's necessary.
    Frolic and dance for joy often.
    Be determined in your ventures.
    -KAB

  28. - Top - End - #328
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Elemental's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Kerrin View Post
    * Just because dismembering the big-bad-evil-guy, burning each part in a separate fire, mixing the ashes from each part into a separate block of cement, and dropping each block of cement into different oceans is "the only way to be sure", doesn't mean it's necessary.
    **If it is actually neccessary, I will not defer doing so for budget reasons.
    Merry Happy New Year!

    Mauve Shirt, Savannah, Gnomish Wanderer, Cuthalion and Smuchmuch get cookies for making me avatars. (::)
    Nightmare by Smuchmuch. (::)

    Co Founder of LUTAS - For all your less than useful heroes out there.

    My Deviant Art. Careful, it's full of ponies.

    Dragons!

  29. - Top - End - #329
    Troll in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * My ranger's animal companion is not a dinozord.
    * My ranger's animal companion is not a thunderzord.
    * My ranger's animal companion is not a ninjazord.
    * My ranger's animal companion is not a shogunzord.
    * I may no longer play a ranger.

  30. - Top - End - #330
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * May not role-play myself out of the party during the first session… and the second session… and the third session… and twice during the fourth session.
    ** May not have more than 2 replacement characters already rolled up, ready to play at a moment's notice.
    *** Especially when I know that there won't be any encounters this session.
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 Internet(s) and 2 Win(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

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