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  1. - Top - End - #361
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Arbane's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * No matter how high-level the druid is, they cannot wild shape into a canidru.
    Imagine if all real-world conversations were like internet D&D conversations...
    Protip: DnD is an incredibly social game played by some of the most socially inept people on the planet - Lev

  2. - Top - End - #362
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * Ghouls are not projectile weapons.
    * 'Fabulousness' is not a cleric domain.
    * Do not feed the Tarrasque.
    * Especially don't feed the Tarrasque the halfling.
    * Don't feed the halfling the Tarrasque, either.

  3. - Top - End - #363
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * Good-aligned rivers and evil bugs don't mix. Especially if said bugs are on me and I jump in said river. xD
    ** Same with good-aligned rivers and our chaotic evil duskblade.

    * I may not jump at our paladin's face. It ends up in our DM fudging the rolls so that he brings his shield up in time so that I get knocked out by it, and lose all memory. And then get manipulated by our rogue. >.>
    Aetherys, Nature's Wrath. AP: 0/20. Pantheon AP: 0/2.
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  4. - Top - End - #364
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Mynxae View Post
    * Good-aligned rivers and evil bugs don't mix. Especially if said bugs are on me and I jump in said river. xD
    ** Same with good-aligned rivers and our chaotic evil duskblade.

    * I may not jump at our paladin's face. It ends up in our DM fudging the rolls so that he brings his shield up in time so that I get knocked out by it, and lose all memory. And then get manipulated by our rogue. >.>
    **If I deserve my fate, I am not to complain.
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  5. - Top - End - #365
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Jade Dragon View Post
    Well, this is assuming I'm playing an Anathema and that it's before we start restoring the government and getting everything cleared about the Anathema. Including the facts that we're supposed to lord over the dragon-blooded and eventually go insane (which is why my characters want to restore the government as a republic, and then leave to wander so they can't become blinded to the mortal's lives).

    Maybe I should've said "I may not rescue the Scarlet Empress solely so I can lay her".
    * My Solar/Lunar not lay the Scarlett Empress, then reveal this occurence to the public so as to discredit her rule and throw the Empire into chaos.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  6. - Top - End - #366
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Mynxae View Post
    * Good-aligned rivers and evil bugs don't mix. Especially if said bugs are on me and I jump in said river. xD
    ** Same with good-aligned rivers and our chaotic evil duskblade.

    * I may not jump at our paladin's face. It ends up in our DM fudging the rolls so that he brings his shield up in time so that I get knocked out by it, and lose all memory. And then get manipulated by our rogue. >.>
    That's not fair. I didn't fudge any rolls, and everyone agreed with the idea of your amnesia, which wasn't even my idea... It was the other players. I simply agreed that it was getting very out of hand.

    FTR, that was also the first roll he succeeded against your jumping at him. Please don't take your irl problems to the forums it's offensive. Thankyou in advance.

    *I may not trust my players to figure that a massive magical explosion might have messed with the surrounding landscapes by themselves.

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  7. - Top - End - #367
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * The party will not base their decision to pick a party leader on whose background leaves the biggest possibility for high XP plot hooks.

    * The party leader is not allowed to invoke "naming rights". Of anything or anyone.

    * The city guards are not racially profiling the halfling.

    * If my wizard's spell list was chosen simply to create a funny acrostic, the other PCs are allowed to beat him for 20 seconds each.

    * I will not spend half a hour quoting Hamlet every time my PC must make a saving throw versus poison.
    Anachronism will never high-light the folly of my convictions!

  8. - Top - End - #368
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Shoot Da Moon View Post
    * The party will not base their decision to pick a party leader on whose background leaves the biggest possibility for high XP plot hooks.

    * The party leader is not allowed to invoke "naming rights". Of anything or anyone.

    * The city guards are not racially profiling the halfling.

    * If my wizard's spell list was chosen simply to create a funny acrostic, the other PCs are allowed to beat him for 20 seconds each.

    * I will not spend half a hour quoting Hamlet every time my PC must make a saving throw versus poison.
    Teh internetz! You haz won it!

  9. - Top - End - #369
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * No character I play may be familiar with the term or concept of mutually assured destruction.
    * If the DM tells us he's planning a game of political intrigue, I am not to make my character an animated teddy bear.
    ** Or an awakened animal.
    *** I am especially forbidden from playing an awakened pony bard.
    If brute force isn't working, that just means you're not using enough of it.

    When in doubt, set something on fire. If not in doubt, set something on fire anyway.

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  10. - Top - End - #370
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    HalflingPirate

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Any and all female characters I make are henceforth forbidden to take ranks in the following skills: Bluff, Diplomacy, Sleight of Hand, Stealth, Perform, and Profession.

    **In addition, any and all female casters as described above are forbidden to utilize the following spells: Prestidigitation, Mage Hand, Ventriloquism, Dancing Lights, Disguise Self, Alter Self, and Acid Splash. This list may or may not expand.

    ***Having a starting Charisma exceeding the teens at level 1 does not work around the above rules, but rather results in stricter enforcement.
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  11. - Top - End - #371
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by TheJudicator View Post
    *Any and all female characters I make are henceforth forbidden to take ranks in the following skills: Bluff, Diplomacy, Sleight of Hand, Stealth, Perform, and Profession.

    **In addition, any and all female casters as described above are forbidden to utilize the following spells: Prestidigitation, Mage Hand, Ventriloquism, Dancing Lights, Disguise Self, Alter Self, and Acid Splash. This list may or may not expand.

    ***Having a starting Charisma exceeding the teens at level 1 does not work around the above rules, but rather results in stricter enforcement.
    ** Mage Armor is not a substitute for clothing.
    *** Neither is Web.
    ** No, that is not what the "Dominate" in Dominate Person refers to.
    *** Not even if I also cast Animate Rope.
    **** Animate Rope is now on the list.
    ** No Polymorph. Just no.
    ** Evard's Black Tentacles is not for recreational use.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  12. - Top - End - #372
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Dumbledore lives's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * Craft (DNA) is not a skill, even if we're playing a sci-fi campaign.
    * A spider farm does not work the way you think, and no you can't have one.
    * When your first plan is seduction and you have -2, it's not going to work.
    * The first plan should not be setting things on fire, even if it worked in the past.
    * That optimization trick you just found? No.
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    If you're ever in a situation where you can't survive, go for the broke and fill all of creation with chickens. Just imagine the reaction of people halfway around the world when every square inch of space in their world is suddenly and completely full of chickens.
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  13. - Top - End - #373
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * If we are playing a first age Exalted game, not to find two of every animal, herd them onto a boat, and then beat the **** out of them and call it a zoo.
    *Cannot repeat the same trick in the second age, as a Sidereal, using Lunars.
    *I will be lauded for doing the same to every Wyld creature, but I can only do it once, thanks.
    *My Sidereal is not G-man.
    *My Infernal who THINKS he's a sidereal is not Slenderman.
    *...There are no longer suits in creation.
    *Just because both of them prominently involve green suns, doesnít mean Homestuck is canon in Exalted.
    *My Infernal was never a troll, and he's never heard of a hemospectum...
    *...He may be already here but Malfeas isn't Lord English either...
    *...And you do NOT work for "He who Lives in His Cue-Ball!'
    > I am to be referred to as Doc Scratch, thank you very much.


    Shows what tvtropes can do for you. I don't even have any of the rules for the game!
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  14. - Top - End - #374
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    Sgt. Cookie's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Alabenson View Post
    * If the DM tells us he's planning a game of political intrigue, I am not to make my character an animated teddy bear.
    What? That's the kind of character you WOULD want in a political intruge game. Give it to a child that is often near an enemy ruler, political opponent, etc. And there, sitting right with the child, and by extension, the ruler, you have the perfect spy.

    Or, you know, a portable bodyguard for an allied ruler that the child wants to take with them.
    Open the lid and snatch a homebrewed treat from Cookie's Jar

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  15. - Top - End - #375
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    * If we are playing a first age Exalted game, not to find two of every animal, herd them onto a boat, and then beat the **** out of them and call it a zoo.
    *Cannot repeat the same trick in the second age, as a Sidereal, using Lunars.
    *I will be lauded for doing the same to every Wyld creature, but I can only do it once, thanks.
    *My Sidereal is not G-man.
    *My Infernal who THINKS he's a sidereal is not Slenderman.
    *...There are no longer suits in creation.
    *Just because both of them prominently involve green suns, doesnít mean Homestuck is canon in Exalted.
    *My Infernal was never a troll, and he's never heard of a hemospectum...
    *...He may be already here but Malfeas isn't Lord English either...
    *...And you do NOT work for "He who Lives in His Cue-Ball!'
    > I am to be referred to as Doc Scratch, thank you very much.


    Shows what tvtropes can do for you. I don't even have any of the rules for the game!
    Exalted sounds fun. How do I get it, and are there many PbPs on The Playground?
    Quote Originally Posted by jamieth View Post
    ...though Talla does her best to sound objective and impartial, it doesn't cover stuff like "ask a 9-year-old to tank for the party."
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  16. - Top - End - #376
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    DwarfBarbarianGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Can not have local psionics guy mindrape trolls into being me.

  17. - Top - End - #377
    Eldritch Horror in the Playground Moderator
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Cannot have local psionics guy mindrape me into being a troll.
    Quote Originally Posted by GungHo, on Battletech
    The Atlas is also goofy but it has that whole "Stay Puft Marshmallow Man" menacing smile thing going for it. The guy who drew that one up was obviously taken to the Nutcracker when he was a child... and he was screaming in terror the entire time.
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    Glyphstone, you are an evil person :D

  18. - Top - End - #378
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    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Okay you know what? No more mindrape!
    Most people see a half orc and and think barbarian warrior. Me on the other hand? I think secondary trap handler and magic item tester. Also I'm not allowed to trick the next level one wizard into starting a fist fight with a house cat no matter how annoying he is.
    Yes I know it's sarcasm. It's a joke. Pale green is for snarking
    Thread wins: 2

  19. - Top - End - #379
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Qwertystop View Post
    Exalted sounds fun. How do I get it, and are there many PbPs on The Playground?
    *points at thread in Other Systems*

    A few things. You know the sun? Yeah, it's actually a giant glowing battle station. Isidoros is a pretty cool guy if you can get him to take a form that won't destroy everything just by standing there. Adorjan is bat**** insane. Malfeas is REALLY ANGRY, but if you can calm him down, he's not such a bad guy. The Unconquered Sun is a prick who ordered some guys to kill his creators so that they would stop making his job harder and he could play games in the Jade Pleasure Dome. Solars can be anything from superpowered Hitler to Beowulf to Asakura Yoh (I know because Shaman King is influencing my latest character). Infernals can be anything from superpowered Hitler to Beowulf to Asakura Yoh, and even more since they have powers beyond "jump really high, punch super hard, speak really inspiring words". Abyssals are goths with superpowers, and almost all their powers are directed at killing things. Lunars are shapeshifters, who have a totem animal they can turn into and can take more forms by eating the hearts of creatures. Unlike other exalts, Lunars start castelessm and if they don't get the silver tattoos, they might eventually turn into a chimera. Lunars are also bondmates to the Solars, paired when the exaltations were created, so one Lunar shares eternal brohood/love (depending on whether they're the same or different genders) with one Solar. Alchemicals are communist cyborgs from another world. Dragon-Blooded are like the elemental benders in Avatar: The Last Airbender, except there's currently about ten thousand of them and they run the world, with this jaw-dropping beauty of a Dragon-Blooded nobody knows the name of running the world (she disappeared five years ago). In Exalted, there is no "good" and "evil", there is only "better" and "worse", and it's pretty really almost entirely subjective. Except for the Dragon's Shadow/Ebon Dragon, he's definitely "worse".
    Last edited by Hiro Protagonest; 2012-03-13 at 07:30 PM.

  20. - Top - End - #380
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *If the DM tells me he's planning a pirate-themed game, I may safely assume he would like my character to be more Pirates of the Carribean and less One Piece.
    *Just because my unarmed swordsage does not need any gear at level 1 is not an excuse to spend all of my starting gold on booze.
    **Even if my character is a dwarf.
    *Under no circumstances am I to base any part of my character on any aspect of Old Man Henderson.
    Last edited by Alabenson; 2012-03-13 at 10:19 PM.
    If brute force isn't working, that just means you're not using enough of it.

    When in doubt, set something on fire. If not in doubt, set something on fire anyway.

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  21. - Top - End - #381
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Alabenson View Post
    *Just because my unarmed swordsage does not need any gear at level 1 is not an excuse to spend all of my starting gold on booze.
    **Even if my character is a dwarf.
    I beg to disagree.

  22. - Top - End - #382
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    Morithias's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    "When asked to give the DM a character who has a 'goal', the goal 'have sex with 300 women' does not count."
    "Aasimar paladins, do have to use birth control, regardless of what the book of erotic fantasy says."
    "I am not to refer to my 'equipment' as 'hyper weapon'."
    "I am not allowed to make a character based off of Rance anymore."

    ~Next week~

    "I am not allowed to make characters based off of characters from eroge."

  23. - Top - End - #383
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    Beowulf DW's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Morithias View Post
    "When asked to give the DM a character who has a 'goal', the goal 'have sex with 300 women' does not count."
    "Aasimar paladins, do have to use birth control, regardless of what the book of erotic fantasy says."
    "I am not to refer to my 'equipment' as 'hyper weapon'."
    "I am not allowed to make a character based off of Rance anymore."

    ~Next week~

    "I am not allowed to make characters based off of characters from eroge."
    I don't know whether to be proud that I know what you're talking about, or ashamed.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flickerdart View Post
    Fortunately, a Monk 1/Warblade 19 uses Iron Heart Surge to end the Monk character class, and the day is saved.

  24. - Top - End - #384
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Morithias View Post
    "When asked to give the DM a character who has a 'goal', the goal 'have sex with 300 women' does not count."
    It does, but you have to tread the world, searching for the 300 most attractive women in it.

    Wait, does that make it better or worse? Well, it makes it better and harder, so you won't complete the goal within 150 days of wandering through a metropolis and seducing girls.

  25. - Top - End - #385
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf DW View Post
    I don't know whether to be proud that I know what you're talking about, or ashamed.
    I'd go with proud. Sengoku Rance is an awesome game. Although I would like the main hero to be a bit more likable.

    - "Making a character with the nickname 'goddess of war' will result in a talk with the real goddess of war."
    - "I am not allowed to sell myself into slavery, then kill everyone with fireballs until I meet an owner who treats me right."
    - "I am not allowed to play a knight who is a ten year old girl."
    - "If I play the tactician, I am expected to have ranks in knowledge skills, rather then using my own intelligence and tactics (please don't turn this into a metagaming debate)"
    - "I am not allowed to save scum the campaign."

    ~Next week~

    - "I am not allowed to save scum, even if my build allows for time travel."

    - "When we are asked to do a mission for the king, I am not allowed to reject the offer and counter with 'I want to bang the princess'.
    - "Even if she is a Chaotic Evil drow valsharess, forcing myself on the drow queen gets my alignment switched to evil."

  26. - Top - End - #386
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *My hadozee is able to say more than ook, and I am to remember this.
    **Nor is he required to go on a rampage whenever someone calls him a monkey.
    *Regardless of how appropriate the lyrics are, my bard is not to sing "Giggle at the Ghostly" whenever he inspires courage.
    **My bard is hereby banned from singing any song from My Little Pony for any reason.
    ***This goes double for any non-bard characters.
    If brute force isn't working, that just means you're not using enough of it.

    When in doubt, set something on fire. If not in doubt, set something on fire anyway.

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  27. - Top - End - #387
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    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Not to make a factotum with a kleptomaniac monkey familiar, ranks in preform (vocal), a sentient carpet of flying and a genie, bound through Planar Binding.

    **Making a Disney Princess as a character is out of the question.

  28. - Top - End - #388
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Randomguy View Post
    *Not to make a factotum with a kleptomaniac monkey familiar, ranks in preform (vocal), a sentient carpet of flying and a genie, bound through Planar Binding.

    **Making a Disney Princess as a character is out of the question.
    **Even Mulan.

    ***Especially Mulan.

    As DM.


    * I make not make the party encounter any form of spider themed monster if they include one player who is Arachnophobia out of character.

    * Especially if it's a none combat encounter.

    *Having the spider drop down from it's Web, start singing "I like to move it move it, I like to move it move it." in a bad Jamaican accent while moon-walking a circle around the party is absolutely out.

    **So is having the party leave the Arachnophobia players high Cha bard a note as there leaving saying "Come back any time." If he offered no violence to the party and clearly wasn't doing in any manner that can be construed as an actual danger to the character.






    All of the above actually happened this week at an IRL gaming session I was DMing. In my defense, I didn't know we had an Arachnophobic player in the group till after she freaked out from the note. (She was freaking out before hand but she does that from time to time for reasons as yet not explained so I didn't think it important. )
    "I Burn!"

  29. - Top - End - #389
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Metahuman1 View Post
    As DM.


    * I make not make the party encounter any form of spider themed monster if they include one player who is Arachnophobia out of character.
    **Under no circumstances will I DM a campaign that will negatively impact the players' psychological health in anyway.
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  30. - Top - End - #390
    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Aug 2010

    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Elemental View Post
    **Under no circumstances will I DM a campaign that will negatively impact the players' psychological health in anyway.
    ***Seriously, put the Book of Erotic Fantasy down and back away slowly.

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