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  1. - Top - End - #511
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Kat View Post
    The particular wording here or the connotations behind it?
    just the situation that resulted in that rule

  2. - Top - End - #512
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * May not use Darwin Award winners as character concepts.
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 0.99 Internet(s), 2 Win(s), and 3000 Brownie Point(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  3. - Top - End - #513
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    RogueGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I am no longer allowed to have astronomical spot checks, so that I may see the enemies coming from over a mile away.
    **Upon seeing the enemies coming from over a mile away, I am not thereafter allowed to start firing on them and consistently dropping them in one hit.
    ***I am to wait until they are at least within one range increment before attacking them.
    ****If the DM places this restriction on me, I am to remind him that my range increments are eight hundred feet long.
    *****No longer allowed to kill everything in the enemy party before the chargadin can ride out to meet them.
    ******Must wait until the baddies are within thirty feet before I engage them.
    *I am no longer allowed access to firearms.
    **I may no longer play a Sniper character.
    ***Forget it, I'm banned from using ranged weapons.

  4. - Top - End - #514
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Spacewolf View Post
    just the situation that resulted in that rule
    We had an artifact that we'd stolen from a dragon and had been running for a while, eventually we got far enough ahead of it to strategize a little at which point we decided to set a trap to give us a little better chance of beating the dragon. I was playing a NE Drow Cleric, (yes I know it's rather generic) and she already didnt like the halfling. So i suggested that everyone but myself and the halfling go on ahead and we'd catch up when the trap was set. I really was just going to take the halfling along, but then he said something rude and deragatory about women. So I gave him a chance to apologize warned him that he wouldn't like the consequences. Instead of apologizing he mocked me so I knocked him out tied him up, seasoned him and left him hanging on a tree as dragon bait. However when I went back to the party alone they wanted to know what had happened to the halfling, I failed my bluff, and ended up telling them what had happened, which meant they just had to go back and rescue him but the dragon was getting back there at about the same tie we got there battled insued and almost got everybody killed. so because I single handedly almost caused TPK I am not allowed to do that or anything like it really ever again. (Which is perfectly fine by me any way. I don't like being the evil character, but when I do I play it right)
    Druids: What do you mean I have to come out of wildshape sometime?

  5. - Top - End - #515
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    Man on Fire's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * Saying that my ranger as a kid had seen an ogre eating goblin child is enough of explanation why ogres are his favored enemy. Describing it in great detail is forbidden.
    Last edited by Man on Fire; 2012-04-22 at 07:26 PM.

  6. - Top - End - #516
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Man on Fire View Post
    * Saying that my ranger as a kid had seen an ogre eating goblin child is enough of explanation why ogres are his favored enemy. Describing it in great detail is forbidden.
    An ogre eating a goblin or an ogre-eating goblin?

    *I am limited to making 10 puns a session.
    **This limit is reduced to 5 in any session including pirates.

  7. - Top - End - #517
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Lonely Tylenol's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I am neither obligated nor encouraged to roleplay using the Faerie Mysteries Initiate feat.
    Homebrewiness!
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  8. - Top - End - #518
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Randomguy View Post
    *I am limited to making 10 puns a session.
    **This limit is reduced to 5 in any session including pirates.
    This makes me want to run a game in a bakery beset by vermin. What? I told you we were playing a game about pie-rats.

  9. - Top - End - #519
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Gravitron5000 View Post
    This makes me want to run a game in a bakery beset by vermin. What? I told you we were playing a game about pie-rats.

    It would be better than running a game in which the BBEG is a neck-romancer.

    *If I must remove the party from reality, I'm not aloud to do it before level 7.
    **I need to have an in character reason to do so.
    ***Boredom doesn't count.

    *No removing the BBEG from reality.
    Last edited by Randomguy; 2012-04-23 at 07:30 PM. Reason: Edited to avoid double post

  10. - Top - End - #520
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    Alabenson's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Under no circumstances will my character be permitted to buy a satellite-based weapon.
    **Nor will my character be permitted to make one.
    ***Even if the rules say he could.
    ****This all goes double for the Orbital Friendship Cannon.
    If brute force isn't working, that just means you're not using enough of it.

    When in doubt, set something on fire. If not in doubt, set something on fire anyway.

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  11. - Top - End - #521
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    Morithias's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * I am not to stop the game for 30 minutes in order to debate with the DM how big my changeling can make his "hyper weapon" in order to taunt the ogre king.

    * I am not to take the form of a "female" then rake in bar bets claiming I have a bigger "hyper weapon" then the commoner males.

    * Doing so will get me killed.

  12. - Top - End - #522
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * If the creature has to roll a 1 to miss the Tank, it may be too high of a CR
    ** Especially if it's power attacking for full
    *** With 6 attacks and a rend
    **** If said creature can one-shot the tank with one full attack, something is horribly wrong and it needs to be nerfed.
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 0.99 Internet(s), 2 Win(s), and 3000 Brownie Point(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  13. - Top - End - #523
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Sith_Happens's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Morithias View Post
    * I am not to stop the game for 30 minutes in order to debate with the DM how big my changeling can make his "hyper weapon" in order to taunt the ogre king.

    * I am not to take the form of a "female" then rake in bar bets claiming I have a bigger "hyper weapon" then the commoner males.

    * Doing so will get me killed.
    ** If I ever again use the phrase "hyper weapon" as a euphemism, then all my future characters will be killed by actual hyper-weapons.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  14. - Top - End - #524
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    Elemental's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Sith_Happens View Post
    ** If I ever again use the phrase "hyper weapon" as a euphemism, then all my future characters will be killed by actual hyper-weapons.

    *** All euphemisms must be cleared prior to use. Failure to do so will result in an unavoidable death through unpleasantly creative means.
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  15. - Top - End - #525
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Randomguy View Post
    It would be better than running a game in which the BBEG is a neck-romancer.
    This has given me a case of the giggles. Kudos!

    Quote Originally Posted by Randomguy View Post
    *If I must remove the party from reality, I'm not aloud to do it before level 7.
    ** I am not even allowed to remove them from reality silently. Sorry, but I couldn't for some reason overlook that.

  16. - Top - End - #526
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Devil

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * My barbarian is properly addressed as Guurnderk, or possibly "moron". He is not "King Guurnderk", despite his claims to the contrary, and despite any backstory incident of being made king of a tribe of pixies for lolz. He is no longer allowed to introduce himself as a king, or to attempt to use such putative royal status as a key element of any plan, haggling, or negotiations with NPCs.
    ** During periods of time in which the party is engaged in research, item construction, or planning in a polity of any size, Not-King Guurnderk is not allowed to help.
    *** Not-King Guurnderk is also not allowed to wander the town to alleviate boredom. This includes:
    **** May not talk to the natives
    **** May not look for local children. (He just wanted to find someone who would actually LISTEN to him about being a king!)
    **** May not skinny-dip in the canals. (He didn't! He kept his kilt on!)
    **** Never allowed to go anywhere unsupervised.
    **** Under no circumstances, voluntary or involuntary, is Not-King Guurnderk to have any contact with the constabulary.
    ***** ... actually, to be safe, for all extended lengths of research, item construction, or planning, Not-King Guurnderk will be induced into a magical sleep, restrained with a straightjacket, sealed in a barrel, and locked in a broom closet with a pony keg rigged up like a hamster's water bottle.
    ****** .... or whatever approach the party finds that actually CONTAINS him, since that one failed so ignobly.

    (Nevermind that the only trouble King Guurnderk's ever gotten into was "natives keep a suspicious eye on the funny looking outsider" or "the entire party gets arrested for A DIFFERENT PC's commission of Grand Theft Spelljammer.")
    Last edited by Reltzik; 2012-04-24 at 08:42 AM.
    Alstroemeria in Thrair's War of the Final Whisper.
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    Me: How crazy it gets depends on how much expertise, adroitness, and finesse you navigate the current craziness. Stick the landing and the whole thing could be wrapped up in a bow tomorrow.
    Player: In other words... we're pretty much doomed, right?
    Me: You're not entirely doomed yet. Now I'll just be sitting back in the corner here, cackling at your next few decisions.

    I'm not an evil GM! Honest!

  17. - Top - End - #527
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    @Reltzik: Hail to the king baby!
    Reposting from this thread's buddy in silly message board games.

    Originally Posted by GuesssWho
    2775: Our campaign is not set in New Crobuzon.
    2776: Even if it was, I would not be allowed to play a Weaver.
    *Uther Doul is not a good rolemodel.
    *May not create the possible sword.
    *There are no Avanics, and I cannot cause the ritual to summon one.
    * There is not enough L.A in the world to let me play a Grindlylow.
    * Cacticae and Scabmettlers are right out.

    Quote:
    I can't level up by killing lots and lots of flies.
    *Depends on the flies in question...
    * Canít send the same enemy with different templates to attack the P.Cs over and over again just to take the effort out of making stat-blocks.

    *Cannot use an amulet of mighty fists to give my punches the vorpal enchantment.
    *Even if I can to slashing damage with them!
    * Cannot enchant a spiked glove with the throwing enchantment.
    * Even if I do it still isnít a ROKETTO PUNCH.
    * Cannot enchant this glove with Ki-focus and seeking so I can delver a stunning fist from across the continent.
    *Not matter my skill ranks, I cannot steal the eyes out of the watchesí heads without them knowing.
    *Likewise with their hearts.
    *Likewise with the barmaidís virginity.
    *if you steal a national landmark pre-epic, people WILL notice, thank you very much.
    * Even if dragons do have a breath-weapon gland, making a called shot to it will not make them explode like a pinto.
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    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

  18. - Top - End - #528
    Eldritch Horror in the Playground Moderator
     
    The Glyphstone's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Ksheep View Post
    * If the creature has to roll a 1 to miss the Tank, it may be too high of a CR
    ** Especially if it's power attacking for full
    *** With 6 attacks and a rend
    **** If said creature can one-shot the tank with one full attack, something is horribly wrong and it needs to be nerfed.
    AKA the Don't Use Dragons rule.
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  19. - Top - End - #529
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by The Glyphstone View Post
    AKA the Don't Use Dragons rule.
    More like "don't use mutant four-armed gargoyles", but close enough.
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 0.99 Internet(s), 2 Win(s), and 3000 Brownie Point(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  20. - Top - End - #530
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    BlackDragon

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Well hello ToH, I didn't expect to see you here.

    While that reminds me

    *The DM must remember to do more than skim a character sheet to check for balance issues.
    **The DM must remember that CR's are at best a guideline.
    ***The dm must also remember that an Iron Kingdoms Quickplate when applied to a character with full access to all d&d books may have 'interesting' interactions.

    I was the DM in question. DAMN YOU immortal paladin robot cat!

  21. - Top - End - #531
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    TechnoScrabble's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Nobody with Friction-less Boots and a Ring of Jumping has Gotta go fast.
    **Not even if he has a Flaming Burst crossbow.

    *If my PC replaces the BBEG, he's not allowed to have a motive so sympathetic that the other characters join him, derailing the campaign even further.
    Last edited by TechnoScrabble; 2012-04-27 at 04:32 PM.
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  22. - Top - End - #532
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DrowGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    I'm not allowed to kill the quest giver before giving them a chance to talk just because I know that they'll turn on us.

  23. - Top - End - #533
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    *if you steal a national landmark pre-epic, people WILL notice, thank you very much.
    Don't supposed you've seen the Carmen San Diego entry in Iron Chef: Shadowdancer?
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  24. - Top - End - #534
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Urpriest View Post
    Don't supposed you've seen the Carmen San Diego entry in Iron Chef: Shadowdancer?
    No.

    And as far as I know, they did notice in the games and knew who did it, it's just they just didn't know where she took them to.
    Last edited by Doorhandle; 2012-04-27 at 06:44 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

  25. - Top - End - #535
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    Man on Fire's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * There are more ways to Intimidate somebody than just telling him I will take something, shine it really nice, turn it sideways and stick upon his candy a*s.
    * My bard cannot spontaneously starts singing "The Game" whenever Barbarian walks into the room.
    ** Or "King of Kings"
    *** Same goes for Dragon Disciple and "Slow Chemical"
    **** And Dread Necromancer and Graveyard Symphony
    ***** And even if that could be climatic, "Rolling" is just silly.
    ****** All of it goes double if they're sneaking into that room.
    * Cannot break through the wall just to give somebody a wiener.
    * Character who is Staight Edge is okay. Character who thinks it makes him better than everybody else is acceptable. Character who won't shut the f*** up about it is vetoed.
    * When we come to save sacrifical virgin from evil cultists, I cannot kill her for them and attack other players because I decided to turn Heel.
    ** After killing all my friends I cannot then stab cult's leader in the back and murder remaining cultists because I realized being a Face is better for my carrer.
    * Cannot ask question just to yell the answer doesn't matter.
    * Cannot base character on Santino Marella.
    * There must be 48 hours time gap between the game and the last time I watched wrestling.
    Last edited by Man on Fire; 2012-04-27 at 07:45 PM.

  26. - Top - End - #536
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Esprit15's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    My character may not pretend to be all innocent when she has killed more things than the three guys combined.
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  27. - Top - End - #537
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * I can not upstage the party bard with the use Time Stop, Delayed Blast Fireball, and Ghost Sound / Prestidigitation to play Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture...
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  28. - Top - End - #538
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Socratov's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Antonok View Post
    * I can not upstage the party bard with the use Time Stop, Delayed Blast Fireball, and Ghost Sound / Prestidigitation to play Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture...
    *start a slow clap*

    well done, i tip my hat to you
    *takes off hat and bows*

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  29. - Top - End - #539
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Adapted from this thread page, stemming from this post on the previous page:

    * I may not devise and execute a devious plot with the intent of setting up a foursome between myself, the changeling my character has a crush on, and her two adult changeling children.
    ** Not even if the idea is for all three of them to be the same person during the deed.
    *** Especially not if that's the idea.
    *** The two children already sharing the identity in question with their mother on occasion and thereby making my love life difficult is not an excuse for this.
    ** Executing the "wacky romantic comedy" version of the plan, in which failed Sense Motive checks are used in place of successful Bluff checks such that the whole thing is (in-character) an accident, does not make it any better.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  30. - Top - End - #540
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Man on Fire's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * Cannot enchant a spiked glove with the throwing enchantment.
    * Even if I do it still isnít a ROKETTO PUNCH.
    ** Neither is cutting my own hand and throwing it at the opponent, even if my name is Zeus

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