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  1. - Top - End - #601
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    ***Just because I can make a great wyrm prismatic dragon at seventh level, doesn't mean that I should, unless we're in a very high optimization environment.
    Last edited by NM020110; 2012-05-27 at 04:33 PM.
    Status: Recovering. ETA: 3 days

  2. - Top - End - #602
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Not allowed to cast Silent Still Blasphemy and blame it on the Druid's animal companion.
    *There is no such thing as a Dire Skunk, and even if there were, it would be in bad taste to polymorph the cleric into one.
    **I'm not allowed to argue that the cleric's been walking around in full-plate for a week and thus actually smells better as a result of this.
    *Casting Fell Drain Fireball at a flock of pidgeons will incinerate them, not animate them as pidgeonwights.
    **Even if I apply the Subdual Substitution metamagic to it.
    ***There is no conceivable way for me to get pidgeonwights, so stop asking.
    *If playing a necromancer, not allowed to start giggling maniacally when asked if anyone can raise the dead.
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  3. - Top - End - #603
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    Beowulf DW's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Sgt. Cookie View Post
    *No matter how high my perform modifer is, my Bard cannot summon a burning zepplin of lead.
    *I am no longer allowed to make Bards based on the characters and cast of Brutal Legend.
    Avatar by The_Architect.

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickerdart View Post
    Fortunately, a Monk 1/Warblade 19 uses Iron Heart Surge to end the Monk character class, and the day is saved.

  4. - Top - End - #604
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf DW View Post
    *I am no longer allowed to make Bards based on the characters and cast of Brutal Legend.
    **Nor is my bard allowed to take Leadership solely to receive a cohort capable of helping him play "The Greatest Song in the World"
    ***Nor any tribute thereof.
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  5. - Top - End - #605
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    On an unrelated note, the Age of Metal would be a fantastic D&D setting. There is also the fact that Brutal Legend was way too short...

    OK, it's decided. Brutal Legend will be converted to D&D. *Runs to homebrew thread*

    PS, Eddie Riggs would probably be a Bardsader or Bardbarian.
    Open the lid and snatch a homebrewed treat from Cookie's Jar

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  6. - Top - End - #606
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * If my wizard is wearing blue robes covered in runes, mystical, exotic amulets and rings, large, pointy hat and pair of glasses ahd has a large beard and carries a huge spellbook and magic staff, I'm no longer allowed to complain that every single enemy with more that two points in Int tries to kill me first.
    ** No longer allowed to complain everybody can tell in great detail how they guy throwi fireballs around looks like either.
    *** Both extend to any kind of caster who looks distinguish.
    * If I step foward and throw a spell I'm going to assume every single enemy will try to stop me from doing that again.
    * If the GM uses enemy wizards dressed like normal guys and throwing spells from behind a cover, he is trying to give me a hint, not screw the party over.
    Last edited by Man on Fire; 2012-05-28 at 03:27 PM.

  7. - Top - End - #607
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Yes. The joke where you cast Glitterdust on the vampire was funny once. It does not bear repeating.
    *Casting Bounce on the Dragoon's armor, while hilarious, only works once.
    **Said Dragoon would like me to know that, if it happens again, I will be stabbed.
    ***Using said spell to turn the Throne Room into a bounce house is not going to earn me any brownie points with the king.
    *Contrary to what my wizard insists, there is, in fact, a situation in which casting Bounce is frowned upon. In fact, there are a great many.
    **Combining Bounce with Grease is right out.
    ***I am henceforth forbidden from researching the custom spell Bounce, or any spell with similar effects.
    ****No longer allowed to research my own spells. Ever.
    Last edited by Loxagn; 2012-05-30 at 08:06 PM.
    This episode of Wasting Time with Lox has been brought to you by the letter 'ـك'.

    I'm currently working on a Homebrew Campaign Setting for D&D 3.5. Why don't you give it a look?
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  8. - Top - End - #608
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Kira_the_5th View Post
    **Nor is my bard allowed to take Leadership solely to receive a cohort capable of helping him play "The Greatest Song in the World"
    ***Nor any tribute thereof.
    **** Trying to summon shiny demons while hitchhiking is similarly forbidden.
    ***** Shiny demons do not manifest by "shining".
    Dragontar by Serpentine.

    Now offering unsolicited advice.

  9. - Top - End - #609
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Rockphed View Post
    **** Trying to summon shiny demons while hitchhiking is similarly forbidden.
    ***** Shiny demons do not manifest by "shining".
    ******There is no artifact called "the pick of destiny"
    *******Wielding an axe and a guitar does not constitute "dual-wielding axes" and any attempt to argue such will result in rocks and death.
    Avatar by The_Architect.

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickerdart View Post
    Fortunately, a Monk 1/Warblade 19 uses Iron Heart Surge to end the Monk character class, and the day is saved.

  10. - Top - End - #610
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Tattooing the magic missile spell to every slot in your body enough times to fill your body with the spell does not constitute clothes. Especially as a gnome. Especially in the Elf Queen's court.
    Best. Thread. Ever!

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  11. - Top - End - #611
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * Having Power Attack and Cleave is good. Having a full party with Power Attack and Cleave is notů
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    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  12. - Top - End - #612
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    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I may not activate my moment of persience on a craft (pancakes) check.
    My pancakes turned out flawlessly this morning and I think I may have done this subconsciously.

  13. - Top - End - #613
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I am never allowed to possess a Rod of Lordly Might.

  14. - Top - End - #614
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    DrowGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I may never play an Ozodrin again.
    ** Said Ozodrin is not allowed to have a split personality, where one refuses to fight and the other murders everything
    *** I am not allowed to have 32 eyes on my head in the shape of a crown
    ****I may not try to grapple eat the party spellcaster thus resulting in his hands falling off
    *****I may not throw my limbs coverd in barbed teeth at the town tailor
    ******I may not look hansom while coverd in tentacles and eyes even if my Cha is 22

  15. - Top - End - #615
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I may not point out flaws in homebrew classes to their creator. Even if they're glaring. Especially if they make it overpowered.
    Best. Thread. Ever!

    Much thanks to Ceika for the Collin Brady Poketar!

  16. - Top - End - #616
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * Do not threaten the shop keeper who is offering to enchant your weapon.
    ** Especially if that threat involves bodily harm to the shopkeeper.
    *** This goes double after you've already handed the weapon over so they could inspect it.
    **** Even if the shopkeeper decides to enchant it at a discount after said intimidation, I shouldn't be surprised when the weapon comes back cursed instead of enchanted.
    Last edited by Ksheep; 2012-06-03 at 05:45 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  17. - Top - End - #617
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    Man on Fire's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by planswalker View Post
    *I may not point out flaws in homebrew classes to their creator. Even if they're glaring. Especially if they make it overpowered.
    You can always point flaws in mine.

  18. - Top - End - #618
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Qwertystop's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by planswalker View Post
    *I may not point out flaws in homebrew classes to their creator. Even if they're glaring. Especially if they make it overpowered.
    Umm...

    At least on this forum, pointing out flaws is exactly what you're supposed to do.
    Quote Originally Posted by jamieth View Post
    ...though Talla does her best to sound objective and impartial, it doesn't cover stuff like "ask a 9-year-old to tank for the party."
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  19. - Top - End - #619
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    that's what's said, yes. My experience has been that the creators are very sensitive and take it personally when you do. Not always, no, but quite often.
    Best. Thread. Ever!

    Much thanks to Ceika for the Collin Brady Poketar!

  20. - Top - End - #620
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    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    I can confirm that statement but I make it a point to accept their advice reguardless.

    *May not compensate for a character with an intelligence and wisdom lower than 10 by giving them enough defensive prowess to survive any Darwin Awards they might invoke.
    Last edited by Doorhandle; 2012-06-04 at 01:42 AM.
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  21. - Top - End - #621
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    Omeganaut's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *May not make a character that's sole purpose is achieving Darwin awards in attempted TPK
    **I'm not allowed to have my character volunteer as the party face if he has a CHA of 3 and no ranks in any social skill, especially if it would be IC.
    I have returned, and plan on focusing on world-building. Issues are being dealt with.

    Quote Originally Posted by MesiDoomstalker View Post
    Thread won! I don't think I have the authority to do that but whatever

  22. - Top - End - #622
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I may not look through this thread for ideas.
    Credit for my awesome avatar goes to the amazing Ceika.

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  23. - Top - End - #623
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by VGLordR2 View Post
    *I may not look through this thread for ideas.
    ** I may not even casually GLANCE at this thread for ideas.
    *** Looking anywhere in the vicinity of this thread within 48 hours of character creation is strictly prohibited.
    **** The same goes for TVTropes.
    Last edited by Ksheep; 2012-06-04 at 01:46 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  24. - Top - End - #624
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * 6 CHA is not going to allow me to seduce anything.
    ** Not anything that I want to seduce, anyways.

    * I do not get a bonus to seducing simply for being female.
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  25. - Top - End - #625
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I will remember, in the future, that Grafts are a privelige, not a right.
    *No, the verbal components for Animate Objects do not involve a musical number.
    *Taking a fallen opponent's skull is, while frowned upon, not terribly odd. There are worse trophies to take. Immediately casting Animate Dead and Permanencied Levitate on it and naming the resultant creature my familiar, however, is very frowned upon.
    **Awakening my newfound 'familiar' is extremely so.
    ***Giving the skull a wisecracking personality and naming him Murray is right out.
    ****Fine, I can name him Murray. The DM will not allow me to run around his campaign with a familiar named 'Skull****y'.
    *I am not to be offended when an enemy Paladin doesn't laugh at Murray's jokes.
    **No, casting Hideous Laughter on him as a response to this is not funny either.

    *Not allowed to poke fun at my fellow Runner's abysmal accent.
    **Even if it's impossible to tell whether his character is supposed to be German, Russian, or Middle Eastern.
    *There is literally no conceivable reason for my character to start the campaign with 100 Gallons of Nano-paste in his wardrobe.

    *No matter what the dice say or how many Righteous Furies I just rolled, I can't decapitate Galgaliel with a thrown Progressive Knife.
    *An A.T. Tactician's purpose is to Neutralize the A.T. Field while the rest of the party mops up. Not to solo the world-killing abominations.
    *No, there is no such thing as Positron Cannon Tag, and even if there were, I would be court-martialed for playing it.
    *Just because two of the other Eva Pilots have the Manufactured background and the Replaceable trait, I'm not allowed to argue that using them for cannon fodder is acceptable.

    *Yes. A god of music riding a hot pink chocobo at Mach 1 across the plains does, in fact, draw attention. In fact, it draws a great deal of attention.
    This episode of Wasting Time with Lox has been brought to you by the letter 'ـك'.

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  26. - Top - End - #626
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *In Pathfinder, my Int-based Fighter may not use Craft (Arms and Armor) to combine a crossbow with any magic item that continually produces water to create a hydraulically powered automatic crossbow.
    **I may not then use Knowledge(engineering) to make large scale siege weapon versions of said weapon.
    ***I may not continue to abuse these skills such that my fighter is out-performing the sorcerer with his latest semi-mundane gadgets.
    ****I may no longer play Int-based Fighters.
    *****I may no longer play Fighters.
    ******Gunslingers are right out.
    *******Your character is not Edgar Figaro.
    ********Wouldn't you rather roll up a cleric?
    Avatar by The_Architect.

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickerdart View Post
    Fortunately, a Monk 1/Warblade 19 uses Iron Heart Surge to end the Monk character class, and the day is saved.

  27. - Top - End - #627
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    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    wouldn't a rogue or bard do that easier?
    Most people see a half orc and and think barbarian warrior. Me on the other hand? I think secondary trap handler and magic item tester. Also I'm not allowed to trick the next level one wizard into starting a fist fight with a house cat no matter how annoying he is.
    Yes I know it's sarcasm. It's a joke. Pale green is for snarking
    Thread wins: 2

  28. - Top - End - #628
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Isn't 'int-based fighter' a method of suicide to begin with?

    * My multiple-personality wizard is not allowed to be the campaign villain (even when they are).
    * Clerics that I play are not allowed to claim that they are more dangerous than their deity (even and especially when they are).
    * If I somehow find myself in the position of being the party's ethical compass, I cannot roleplay a slow descent into PTSD and madness (this goes double if I am also the IC leader of the party).
    * My position as the party face is not an excuse to persuade succubi to sleep with characters I don't like.
    - Especially not if the whole idea is to tell him/her/it, "Take just a little, I want him to remember not to mess with my stuff."
    * "Don't break the loot!" is not acceptable as an in-character statement (even when it is).


    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
    My extended homebrew sig

  29. - Top - End - #629
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf DW View Post
    .
    *******Your character is not Edgar Figaro.
    ******** On that note, when playing in Eberron, I am not allowed to make a monk capable of suplexing a Lightning Rail.
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  30. - Top - End - #630
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    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Kira_the_5th View Post
    ******** On that note, when playing in Eberron, I am not allowed to make a monk capable of suplexing a Lightning Rail.
    ********* or a Ghost Locomotive.

    ********** Epecially a Ghost Locomotive.

    *********** All playing of Fantasy Six before a session is banned.
    Most people see a half orc and and think barbarian warrior. Me on the other hand? I think secondary trap handler and magic item tester. Also I'm not allowed to trick the next level one wizard into starting a fist fight with a house cat no matter how annoying he is.
    Yes I know it's sarcasm. It's a joke. Pale green is for snarking
    Thread wins: 2

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