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  1. - Top - End - #721
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Man on Fire's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * I cannot be Bard with 1 level of Paladin of Freedom just so I can seduce every BBEG of opposite gender and then use Smite Evil on my Secret Hyper Weapon.
    ** BBEG of the same gender isn't allowed either.

    * Cannot be Chaotic Good and spend entire game trying to break and corrupt every single Lawful character I stumble upon and claiming I just want them to be themselves.

  2. - Top - End - #722
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * Not allowed to use Ghost Sound to convince the fighter that his new sword is talking to him.
    ** Not allowed to use Ghost Sound to convince the cleric that his god is speaking to him.
    *** May not convince said cleric that he must make an ark and collect 2 of each animal.
    **** Not allowed to use Ghost Sound.

    * Not allowed to combine a Decanter of Endless Water and a guitar to make a guitar that gently weeps.
    Last edited by Ksheep; 2012-06-18 at 11:56 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  3. - Top - End - #723
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    • My INT 40+ epic wizard may not Genesis a demiplane with flowing time, discover all of modern physics, and return to the Prime Material with a working hydrogen bomb one round later.
    • I may not name my wizard Mark and demand to be addressed as Arcane Mark.
    • Similarly, I cannot play a dwarf raised by humans and named Rodney, all for the sake of one day taking levels in dwarven defender and earning the nickname Immovable Rod.
    • I may not polymorph myself into a copy of my familiar while polymorphing my familiar into myself, on the off chance that someone gets close enough to try to assassinate me.
    • In the same vein, my familiar will get a veto on all suicidal familiar-abuse plans.
    • I may not try to invent spells like Contact Other Game (focus: a rectangle of white marble with an apple carved into it) to consult with my munchkin buddies.
    • I may not use other posts in this topic for inspiration.
    Last edited by Dire Panda; 2012-06-18 at 12:43 PM.

  4. - Top - End - #724
    Orc in the Playground
     
    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *The internet is not a plain of existence

    **That doesn't mean I can create it.

    ***Facebook is not the most powerful of all the warring social networks

    ****Apparently myspace can be a completely deserted nation.
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

  5. - Top - End - #725
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Kira_the_5th's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * Just because my character spent all his skill points on Sing, Craft (Women's Clothing), and Profession (Lumberjack) does not mean he'll be OK.
    Last edited by Kira_the_5th; 2012-06-18 at 09:00 PM.
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  6. - Top - End - #726
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    • Knowledge (plot spoilers) is never a class skill.
    • It also cannot be used untrained.
    • I may not Awaken a cannabis plant.
    • I may not play an Awakened cannabis plant.
    • If I violate the previous rules, the character does not do INT damage to everything nearby when struck with a fire attack.
    • I may not use metamagic cheese to Intensify the Awaken spell and produce a 36 INT kitten.
    • I may not crush civilization beneath the mechanized paws of a thousand genius cats.
    • I may no longer even consider casting Awaken.

  7. - Top - End - #727
    Orc in the Playground
     
    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I may not name my characters by sticking two random words together

    **I am to burn the character sheet of Trash Boat the monk

    ***And Bottle Gum the bard

    ****The Urge can only be a villains name

    *****I can only take names given off the example list in the players manual.
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

  8. - Top - End - #728
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PirateGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Dire Panda View Post
    • I may not use metamagic cheese to Intensify the Awaken spell and produce a 36 INT kitten.
    • I may not crush civilization beneath the mechanized paws of a thousand genius cats.
    • I may no longer even consider casting Awaken.
    • The above rules also apply in regards to Awakened squirrels.
    • If the previous rule may only be broken by a halfling Druid, and then only if said halfling carries a THICK Scottish accent.
    • I may not abuse the Awaken spell and liberal use of the leadership feat to produce 8 cohorts and over 300 followers of Awakened squirrels, flying squirrels, giant squirrels, and giant dire squirrels.
    • making every single squirrel in the above army Druids, and then having them all cast Summon Nature's Ally and/or Summon Swarm at once will cause your DM's brain to hemmorhage.

  9. - Top - End - #729
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    DruidGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *The verbal component of eldricht blast is not "Hadouken!"
    **Nor is it "Sonic Boom"

  10. - Top - End - #730
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Balmas's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *My monk's battle cry is not "Round One: Fight!"
    The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. ~ Terry Pratchett

    People don't *live* on the Disc anymore than, in less hand-crafted parts of the multiverse, they live on balls. Oh, planets may be the place where their body eats its tea, but they *live* elsewhere, in worlds of their own which orbit very handily around the center of their heads. ~Terry Pratchett again

  11. - Top - End - #731
    Orc in the Playground
     
    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *My half orc may not have a melee bonus of +7 at level two.

    I totally did this first time I even used the forum dice roller.
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

  12. - Top - End - #732
    Titan in the Playground
     
    planswalker's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by newBlazingAngel View Post
    *My half orc may not have a melee bonus of +7 at level two.
    ** If my orc fighter 2 character doesn't have at least a +10 attack with his weapon, he's doing it wrong.
    Last edited by planswalker; 2012-06-19 at 01:55 AM.
    Best. Thread. Ever!

    Much thanks to Ceika for the Collin Brady Poketar!

  13. - Top - End - #733
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Elemental's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *It is assumed that a wizard actually knows how magic works.
    **If for some reason your wizard has absolutely no clue, I'm going to give your spells ransom effects until you invest at least one skill point in spellcraft and/or knowledge arcana.
    Mauve Shirt, Savannah, Gnomish Wanderer, Cuthalion and Smuchmuch get cookies for making me avatars. (::)
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    Co Founder of LUTAS - For all your less than useful heroes out there.

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  14. - Top - End - #734
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Man on Fire's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Balmas View Post
    *My monk's battle cry is not "Round One: Fight!"
    *Neither is it "Heaven Or Hell?! Lets Go!"

  15. - Top - End - #735
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    • The "Rod of Wonder" is a magic item, not a nickname for my character's anatomy.
    • Should I violate the previous rule, pointing it at a foe and speaking the 'command word' gives them an immediate sunder attempt.
    • Make Whole doesn't work that way.
    • I may not be a Eunuch Warlock with the worst backstory ever.

  16. - Top - End - #736
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Socratov's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Dire Panda View Post
    • The "Rod of Wonder" is a magic item, not a nickname for my character's anatomy.
    • Should I violate the previous rule, pointing it at a foe and speaking the 'command word' gives them an immediate sunder attempt.
    • Make Whole doesn't work that way.
    • I may not be a Eunuch Warlock with the worst backstory ever.
    *nor am I a Lord of Rodly Might
    **No, a Rod of Lordly Might does not work like viagra
    ***I am to warn my next DM that I can't play male characters
    ****A Rod of Wonder/Rod of Lordly Might are not to be used as strap-ons (acutally tested this)
    *****I am to inform the DM that I am to play genderless characters...

    Baubles for Blackwing!

    “The game, Viktor, is on!” - Avatar by the Outstanding Oneris

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  17. - Top - End - #737
    Orc in the Playground
     
    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I am allowed to play NPC classes, but I may not play a mob of them as a level adjustment.

    **A mob of level 12 aristocrats cannot crush a gelatinous cube to death.

    *My bard is to never perform standup.
    Last edited by newBlazingAngel; 2012-06-19 at 10:59 AM.
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

  18. - Top - End - #738
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    • I may not attempt to unionize another PC's followers.
    • The same goes for the BBEG's orc legions.
    • Skeletons are right out.
    • Looting the king's castle is not redistributing wealth.
    • I must be prepared for the party cleric to hit me if I go around telling NPCs that religion is the opiate of the masses.
    • My character may no longer be a communist.

  19. - Top - End - #739
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *No the fact that we all have a set wealth level based on how many wombats we've killed doesn't count.
    *No the fact that we can't sell anything at market price and making it ourselves is simply more useful doesn't count either.
    *No the fact that most monsters no matter how powerful also have set parameters for wealth doesn't count either.
    *I must stop drawing parallels between dnd and communism.
    Most people see a half orc and and think barbarian warrior. Me on the other hand? I think secondary trap handler and magic item tester. Also I'm not allowed to trick the next level one wizard into starting a fist fight with a house cat no matter how annoying he is.
    Yes I know it's sarcasm. It's a joke. Pale green is for snarking
    Thread wins: 2

  20. - Top - End - #740
    Orc in the Playground
     
    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *We are allowed to play awakened animals, but I may not be an awakened rabbit

    **Or Panda

    ***Or crab

    ****Now I HAVE to play as an awakened fish.
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

  21. - Top - End - #741
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Man on Fire's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Dire Panda View Post
    • I must be prepared for the party cleric to hit me if I go around telling NPCs that religion is the opiate of the masses.
    *Cannot answer any quote from anyone's holy book with anything involving words "3:16".

  22. - Top - End - #742
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Socratov's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by newBlazingAngel View Post
    *We are allowed to play awakened animals, but I may not be an awakened rabbit

    **Or Panda

    ***Or crab

    ****Now I HAVE to play as an awakened fish.
    Claus?

    * I may not play as an awakened fish with profession(psychotherapist)

    Baubles for Blackwing!

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  23. - Top - End - #743
    Titan in the Playground
     
    planswalker's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Socratov View Post
    Claus?

    * I may not play as an awakened fish with profession(psychotherapist)
    * awakened frog bards may not choose perform (dance) as their performance art. Neither perform (sing).
    Best. Thread. Ever!

    Much thanks to Ceika for the Collin Brady Poketar!

  24. - Top - End - #744
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Elemental's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    **That's it. From now on, all living things that are targets of an awaken spell are now extinct due to a ecological catastrophe caused by an awakened mouse.
    Congratulations. You've brought untold suffering down upon worlds that don't even exist yet! *edits nature out of the next four campaigns*
    Mauve Shirt, Savannah, Gnomish Wanderer, Cuthalion and Smuchmuch get cookies for making me avatars. (::)
    Current avatar by Smuchmuch. (::)

    Co Founder of LUTAS - For all your less than useful heroes out there.

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    Dragons!

  25. - Top - End - #745
    Orc in the Playground
     
    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Just because we have a staff of raise dead doesn't mean we need to use it.

    **I am not to hold the staff of raise dead until the DM forgets about it.

    ***If I use said staff to raise a plot important death, it is turned into a staff of fireball.
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

  26. - Top - End - #746
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Arutema's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Man on Fire View Post
    *Neither is it "Heaven Or Hell?! Lets Go!"
    ** Yelling "Rebel One, Action!" is not an appropriate Join Battle stunt.

  27. - Top - End - #747
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Lord_Gareth's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by newBlazingAngel View Post
    *My half orc may not have a melee bonus of +7 at level two.

    I totally did this first time I even used the forum dice roller.

    Your DM is under the impression that this is something to be afraid of?


    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
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  28. - Top - End - #748
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Rockphed's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by planswalker View Post
    * awakened frog bards may not choose perform (dance) as their performance art. Neither perform (sing).
    ** Perform (kiss) is likewise prohibited.
    All women enjoy the kiss of prince Navine.
    Dragontar by Serpentine.

    Now offering unsolicited advice.

  29. - Top - End - #749
    Titan in the Playground
     
    planswalker's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *pointing out the absurdity of ranger's favored enemy bonuses applying to dracotaurs, satyrs, and gargoyles as the same category yet somehow a kobold, elf, and dwarf are too different to be same category will not get all humanoids approved as a single category.
    Best. Thread. Ever!

    Much thanks to Ceika for the Collin Brady Poketar!

  30. - Top - End - #750
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    Esprit15's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    In PTTA
    * I may not create a SAD character that gains damage, health and DR from one stat, and pump only this stat.
    ** Especially if it is not a Psychic.
    ** Gaining more HP per level than a SAD CON class will get me far tougher encounters than everyone else.
    *** If I do this, I may not complain about always having to tank everything for all the other squishy party members.
    ** I may not create a build like this and then say that I am a pacifist.
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