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  1. - Top - End - #871
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Randomguy View Post
    ** That's what wiping out populated cities is for.
    *** The Locate City Bomb, Wightocolypse edition, is NOT a proper intimidate technique.
    **** If I try this, I must remember that I don't actually control the wights, and they will eventually come after me…
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    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  2. - Top - End - #872
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    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I am to stop inventing my own weapons just so that I can become proficient with them.
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

  3. - Top - End - #873
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *My Fatespinner's battlecry is not, "Do you feel lucky, punk?"


    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
    My extended homebrew sig

  4. - Top - End - #874
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    Esprit15's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * TVTropes is not there to take ideas from for characters.

    ** Or settings.

    ** If I actually name a character Awesome McCoolname I will be smacked with a computer.

    ** If I get bored and look to find how many tropes I accidentally made a character fall into, I am to share this knowledge with no one.
    Avatar by Ceika

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  5. - Top - End - #875
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Ksheep View Post
    * May not make an awakened dog artificer with an inept commoner "master" who takes one rank in a different profession each level…
    Quote Originally Posted by Ksheep View Post
    Wallace and Gromit, much? Probably could have added "Mustn't make complex Rube-Goldberg-esk machines to do everyday tasks" and "Can't have a penguin who disguises as a chicken as an arch rival"…
    This may be thinking about things too much but...

    I never thought that there was much to suggest that Wallace didn't build his own inventions; it was just that he lacked basic common sense or competence in absolutely anything else (which may explain the Rube-Goldberg nature of the inventions). So I would stat Wallace as the artificer of the pair.
    Since Gromit ends up taking responsibility for everything apart from building crazy contraptions, he needs to to very broadly competent: Factotum.
    If a tree falls in the forest and the PCs aren't around to hear it... what do I roll to see how loud it is?

    Is 3.5 a fried-egg, chili-chutney sandwich?

  6. - Top - End - #876
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    Man on Fire's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * Craving "Dovahkiin deserves better game" in Norvegian on my sword doesn't make it automatically kill every enemy it strikes.


    (My buddy was quite dissapointed with Skyrim)

  7. - Top - End - #877
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    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I may not called shot (knee) with my bow
    **if successful the target does not immediatly recieve a job as a town guard

    *If I create a setting where titles of nobility are in a different language from english that required a good bit of research on my part and a friend complains about "all the made up words for titles" this is not an excuse to hit him over the head with a history textbook

    *Yes, saltpeter, sulfer, an charcoal all exist in D&D. No I may not manufacture gunpowder.

    *Yes cows poop in D&D, no I may non make Nitroglyceren from their waste products

    *It is possible to utilize magic to run an electrical charge through water thus providing a source of hydrogen. I am not permitted to use this hydrogen to create a Fusion Bomb

    *if I break any of the above rules, I may not forcefeed the explosives to a cow, drench said bovine in barbecue sauce, tie it to a post in the middle of a field, wait for the dragon to show up, and watch the fireworks.

    *If I become king, I may not make Explosive Runes the official written language of the my kingdom

    *IF I become a king I am encouraged to create a constitution. Its bill of rights may not be
    The right to pie
    the right to pi
    the right to cheese
    the right to beer
    the obligation to bacon

    *The names Han, Luke, Indiana, Henry, Short, Jones, Round, Junior, Lando, Sanders, Ben, Hogan, Laboe, Carter, Newkirk, Shultz, Klink, Maxwell, any number, Chief (police, indian, tribal or otherwise), Abbot, and Costello, are all off limits

    *Robin Hood has been done, many times, he is no longer an acceptable charecter concept.

    *If my D&D character is a smuggler ship captain with weapon proficency (hand crossbow), and gorrilla for a sidekick, impossibly good ship handling skills, a bounty on his head, and an amaizingly skeptical attitude towards the party wizard(s), I am not allowed to play him

    * If the same character, gets himself frozen in a block of Ice and send to the NPC who put a price on his head I must accept this as poetic justice.

    * I reserve the right to view a semi-botched rescue attempt as poetic justice against the DM

    * If my character ever goes whaling, he may not shout, "Use harpoons and tow cables"

    *
    Warning!! This poster makes frequent use of Sarcasm, Jokes, and Exaggeration. He intends no offense.

  8. - Top - End - #878
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    planswalker's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by eulmanis12 View Post
    *It is possible to utilize magic to run an electrical charge through water thus providing a source of hydrogen. I am not permitted to use this hydrogen to create a Fusion Bomb
    If you think this could make a fusion bomb in our world, you clearly don't understand the science behind one.
    Best. Thread. Ever!

    Much thanks to Ceika for the Collin Brady Poketar!

  9. - Top - End - #879
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    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by hewhosaysfish View Post
    This may be thinking about things too much but...

    I never thought that there was much to suggest that Wallace didn't build his own inventions; it was just that he lacked basic common sense or competence in absolutely anything else (which may explain the Rube-Goldberg nature of the inventions). So I would stat Wallace as the artificer of the pair.
    Since Gromit ends up taking responsibility for everything apart from building crazy contraptions, he needs to to very broadly competent: Factotum.
    It seems to me that, while Wallace does make the inventions, or at least design them, Gromit is usually the one who has to get it in working order and fix it whenever it invariably goes wrong. Besides, whenever they're reading, Wallace is reading some book about cheese, while Gromit has "Electronics for Dogs" or some similar book open.
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 0.99 Internet(s), 2 Win(s), and 3000 Brownie Point(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  10. - Top - End - #880
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by newBlazingAngel View Post
    *If my characters first action is to attempt to find a brothel, I am to expect it to be below my characters standards and above his price range.
    * My characters second action should not be to start and run a more affordable brothel.

  11. - Top - End - #881
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    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Gravitron5000 View Post
    * My characters second action should not be to start and run a more affordable brothel.
    **My wizard may not make a chain of brothels using planar bound Succubi as the employees.

    * I'm not to ignore the plot to set up a small business.
    ** I'm not to ignore the plot to set up a monopoly of huge businesses.
    ***Not to wait until the last second and then suddenly wipe out the BBEG in one round using a super enchanted weapon that I could afford only thanks to my entrepeneurship.

  12. - Top - End - #882
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    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Randomguy View Post
    **My wizard may not make a chain of brothels using planar bound Succubi as the employees.

    * I'm not to ignore the plot to set up a small business.
    ** I'm not to ignore the plot to set up a monopoly of huge businesses.
    ***Not to wait until the last second and then suddenly wipe out the BBEG in one round using a super enchanted weapon that I could afford only thanks to my entrepeneurship.
    **** May not turn the world into the Tippyverse and have a monopoly on the world's food supply.
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 0.99 Internet(s), 2 Win(s), and 3000 Brownie Point(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  13. - Top - End - #883
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    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Not to trample the BBEG to death under my army of hookers.
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

  14. - Top - End - #884
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    Man on Fire's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Ksheep View Post
    **** May not turn the world into the Tippyverse and have a monopoly on the world's food supply.
    *****Anything even remotely inspired by Tippyverse wil get me kicked out.

    *If I create a setting where titles of nobility are in a different language from english that required a good bit of research on my part and a friend complains about "all the made up words for titles" this is not an excuse to hit him over the head with a history textbook
    **Stopping the game to read him out loud excerpts from said textbook is acceptable only once.
    Last edited by Man on Fire; 2012-07-09 at 11:35 AM.

  15. - Top - End - #885
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    planswalker's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * If my players spend all session to come up with a credible plan on how to kill the tarrasque, when they tell me this plan I am not allowed to say, "Nope, wrong, doesn't work. Instead, you must force-feed him the druid's animal companion" as a corny reference to an old campaign of mine that ended like this.
    Best. Thread. Ever!

    Much thanks to Ceika for the Collin Brady Poketar!

  16. - Top - End - #886
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    Flame of Anor's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by newBlazingAngel View Post
    *My plan for world domination is not to buy and handpick all the crops in the world only to sell them back to the farmers.

    **I already have ten thousand cabbages, I need something to do with them.

    ***Dropping them off the highest mountain on the continent and screaming "CABALANCHE" Is not cool.
    ****Nor may I give a cabbage to each member of my secret council and call it the Cabbal.
    R.I.P.

    Quote Originally Posted by WampaX View Post
    It ain't not over 'til the Rich Baker bellows.
    avatar by me. Extended sig here.

  17. - Top - End - #887
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    DrowGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    I am not allowed to take advantage of the planar trait timeless.

    I am not allowed to stuff a healer into a portable hole with a bottle of air. Even if it would keep him safe.

  18. - Top - End - #888
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    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    A flask of endless whiskey that can only be used on geyser is awesome, but should not be weaponized.
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

  19. - Top - End - #889
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    Techwarrior's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    But.. . flamethrower...

  20. - Top - End - #890
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    Morithias's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * It is okay if I play a cleric of estanna, but I shouldn't act like everyone's mother.
    ** I cannot max/min my cleric's diplomacy mod to make her the face of the party when everyone else is CN
    *** If we travel to amazon lands I am not automatically in charge cause I'm the girl
    **** I am not allowed to try to teach the amazons "the joy of the domestic life".
    ***** I am not allowed to SUCCEED at teaching the amazons "the joy of the domestic life".

  21. - Top - End - #891
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    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I am not to teach amazons how to 'polish the long spear.'

    **Sheathing the longsword is not appropriate either.

    ***Replacing longsword with shortsword solves nothing.
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

  22. - Top - End - #892
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    Flumph

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    A few recent Legend games.

    *It is not recommended to destroy the costume given to you as "a part of the act" when performing for the circus.
    **It is especially not recommended when the costume was a disguise to keep you from being recognized by mobsters.
    ***Considering that you are also undead, and a skeleton at that under said costume is not helping out your chances of keeping the crowd from recognizing you past your perception defense.

    *Just because they didn't want to pay you doesn't mean they're not going to.
    **Just because they didn't end up paying you doesn't mean you can't make your money back anyway.
    ***Not all of your employers deserve to have their organs sold to the mafia.

    And Legend with Paranoia setting and modifications.

    *Just because there are reports of Anti-mutants in the area does not mean that you need to kill anyone who gives your party's registered mutants dirty looks.
    **New items handed to you by R&D for purposes of testing should not be tested by yourself. Always get an infrared you suspect of treason to test it first.

    *I will not sign my party leader's name on every form that requires a signature for liability purposes. At least not while he's looking.
    **Nothing should go undocumented, except what would make you look bad.
    Last edited by Geigan; 2012-07-11 at 12:07 AM.

  23. - Top - End - #893
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    byaku rai's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *The party is no longer allowed to get a Decanter of Endless Whiskey.

    **If the party does, the DM may not be surprised when the more engineering-minded among the party immediately create Whiskeypunk.

    ***Drinking whiskey in a town while the town is on fire is counterindicated, and will lead to both fire breath and damage to the firebreather.

    *No longer allowed to play an awakened housecat, especially with LA +0.

    **/Especially/ not allowed to play an Awakened Housecat Unarmed Swordsage.

    ***If I roll max Int on Awaken, I will not be allowed to keep it, even if I do so in full view of the rest of the party.

    ****I am /definitely/ not allowed to be simultaneously the most intelligent and the wisest member of the party as a housecat, and I should not be surprised if the rest of the party refuses to take me seriously as a result.

    *Strength should not be a dump stat for a melee damage-dealing character, even if technically I don't /need/ it.
    "You lost the moment you pointed your sword at my pride." -Byakuya Kuchiki

    I started the Warhammer vs. Star Wars vs. Star Trek thread. If you must blame someone, blame me.

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    YOU WERE WARNED.

  24. - Top - End - #894
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    Man on Fire's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * Not matter how how I punch DM with my copy or "origin of the Species", I still cannot take human as my animal companion.

  25. - Top - End - #895
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    Sgt. Cookie's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I may not abuse Eschew materials to deal damage with a cantrip.
    Open the lid and snatch a homebrewed treat from Cookie's Jar

    Ponytar by Dirtytabs

    Like the look of the Prestige Bard/Paladin/Ranger, but don't know how best to use them? There's a guide for that.

  26. - Top - End - #896
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    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Writing my own source book will never ever do me good.
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

  27. - Top - End - #897
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    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Man on Fire View Post
    * Not matter how how I punch DM with my copy or "origin of the Species", I still cannot take human as my animal companion.
    ** Not allowed to make an epic level spell called Rapid Evolution so I can cast in on my chimp animal companion in order to get around this ban.
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 0.99 Internet(s), 2 Win(s), and 3000 Brownie Point(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  28. - Top - End - #898
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    Man on Fire's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Ksheep View Post
    ** Not allowed to make an epic level spell called Rapid Evolution so I can cast in on my chimp animal companion in order to get around this ban.
    *** If I'm about to complain what inhuman monstrority I got from this, I'll be forced to write paper thesis about how human evolution really worked.

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    Humans haven't evolved from chimps, humans and chimps evolved from the same species but are seperated evolutionary routes.

  29. - Top - End - #899
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    Sith_Happens's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Ksheep View Post
    ** Not allowed to make an epic level spell called Rapid Evolution so I can cast in on my chimp animal companion in order to get around this ban.
    Quote Originally Posted by Man on Fire View Post
    *** If I'm about to complain what inhuman monstrority I got from this, I'll be forced to write paper thesis about how human evolution really worked.

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    Humans haven't evolved from chimps, humans and chimps evolved from the same species but are seperated evolutionary routes.
    *** After realizing my mistake, I am not to run around spamming said Rapid Evolution spell on every animal, magical beast, vermin, humanoid, monstrous humanoid, and ooze species I can think of just to see what happens.
    **** Casting Rapid Evolution on an aberration is just asking for trouble.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  30. - Top - End - #900
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    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *before researching a reverse-evolution spell, I am to consider that birds, crocodiles and dinosaurs are all distantly related and it might be unwise to poke them, chonologically speaking.
    Have a deviantart!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

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