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  1. - Top - End - #901
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Man on Fire View Post
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    Humans haven't evolved from chimps, humans and chimps evolved from the same species but are seperated evolutionary routes.
    Yes, I am quite aware of this. However, my spell caster might not
    Now, would that be high-INT/low-WIS that would cause this mixup, or high-WIS/low-INT?

    *May not make a high-INT, low-WIS wizard…
    Last edited by Ksheep; 2012-07-12 at 11:39 AM.
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 0.99 2.00 Internet(s), 2 Win(s), and 3000 Brownie Point(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  2. - Top - End - #902
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * When confronted by a mere 20 of the BBEG's mooks (each with a CR of 1/2), the 13th-level Wilder/Cleric and 15th-level Cleric/Bard are not to surrender to them.

    Member of the Phyrnglsnyx Pronunciation Pact

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    Current avatar by Cuthalion. Thanks a lot!

  3. - Top - End - #903
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    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I am not to live my character by the Chicago Way.
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

  4. - Top - End - #904
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    Goblin

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by newBlazingAngel View Post
    *I am not to live my character by the Chicago Way.
    ** Cannot watch Spoony's Counter Monkeys series in search for ideas.

    Yes, I am quite aware of this. However, my spell caster might not
    Now, would that be high-INT/low-WIS that would cause this mixup, or high-WIS/low-INT?
    High Int, low Wis, I say - guy' smart, but not exactly educated...or wise for that matter.

    * Party's wizard cannot use rapid evolution to prove world's religions wrong.
    ** If Party's wizard does this, party's cleric cannot summon his god to prove him wrong
    *** Cannot drive rest of the party and DM insane by asking them to explain how the two are possible at the same time.

    *before researching a reverse-evolution spell, I am to consider that birds, crocodiles and dinosaurs are all distantly related and it might be unwise to poke them, chonologically speaking.
    ** Cannot use reverse-evolution to see where the hell does owlbears come from.

  5. - Top - End - #905
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    Flame of Anor's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by newBlazingAngel View Post
    *I am not to teach amazons how to 'polish the long spear.'

    **Sheathing the longsword is not appropriate either.

    ***Replacing longsword with shortsword solves nothing.
    ****Teaching "put the longsword in the alternate sheath" is right out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ksheep View Post
    *May not make a high-INT, low-WIS wizard…
    Wait...there are wizards that aren't high-INT, low-WIS?
    Quote Originally Posted by Honest Tiefling View Post
    Attempting to use Iron Heart Surge can often lead to the player removing the 'not being beaten upside the head' condition.
    avatar by me. Extended sig here.

  6. - Top - End - #906
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Flame of Anor View Post
    Wait...there are wizards that aren't high-INT, low-WIS?
    ** Harkle Harpell is NOT what all wizards should aspire to be…

    EDIT:
    *** Neither is Rincewind…
    Last edited by Ksheep; 2012-07-12 at 02:02 PM.
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 0.99 2.00 Internet(s), 2 Win(s), and 3000 Brownie Point(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  7. - Top - End - #907
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Man on Fire View Post
    * Party's wizard cannot use rapid evolution to prove world's religions wrong.
    ** If Party's wizard does this, party's cleric cannot summon his god to prove him wrong
    *** Wizard can NOT use Rapid Evolution on the god.
    Imagine if all real-world conversations were like internet D&D conversations...
    Protip: DnD is an incredibly social game played by some of the most socially inept people on the planet - Lev
    I read this somewhere and I stick to it: "I would rather play a bad system with my friends than a great system with nobody". - Trevlac
    Quote Originally Posted by Kelb_Panthera View Post
    That said, trolling is entirely counterproductive (yes, even when it's hilarious).

  8. - Top - End - #908
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Man on Fire View Post
    High Int, low Wis, I say - guy' smart, but not exactly educated...or wise for that matter.
    To paraphrase SMBC...

    "How dare you! With who were you cheating on me!? You ****ing bastard!!"

    High-WIS answer: "Baby, I love you! I'd never cheat on you!"

    High-INT answer: "You mean 'with whom'."

  9. - Top - End - #909
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    Kira_the_5th's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * I am no longer allowed to throw guards off of their towers, solely to bodyslam them once they hit the ground.
    * I am no longer allowed to be worshiped as a god at level 1.
    * If my plan is to convince everyone that I'm a knight of noble birth, and not just some brigand who stole his stuff, I had better have a pretty good plan.
    Avatar by Doran Liadon

  10. - Top - End - #910
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I will not try to take Weapon Focus and Weapon Specialization: Caltrops
    * I will not give my gnome giant slayer climbing pitons so he can make climb checks on giants.
    * I will no longer ambush my players with sociopathic halfling barbarians from inside their own Heward's Handy Haversack
    *I will no longer call for random perception checks just to make them jumpy.
    Campaign Logs:

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  11. - Top - End - #911
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    Lord_Gareth's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *"Attempting to create a god of atheism" is not an appropriate goal for my Ur-Priest.


    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
    My extended homebrew sig

  12. - Top - End - #912
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    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *My character may not be named "Dr. Spaceman."

    **Pronouncing it Spa-che-man does not help

    ***He does hand out prescriptions of animal blood to "straighten the spine."
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

  13. - Top - End - #913
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    nyarlathotep's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Man on Fire View Post
    * Party's wizard cannot use rapid evolution to prove world's religions wrong.
    ** If Party's wizard does this, party's cleric cannot summon his god to prove him wrong
    *** Cannot drive rest of the party and DM insane by asking them to explain how the two are possible at the same time.
    ****I am also not allowed to use rapid evolution to prove the theory of evolution wrong.
    *****The existence of monsters that turn people into more monsters does not support my theory of evolution through mass spawn creation.
    Level 3 feat: improved monster class pimping

    RIP North_Ranger you will be missed

  14. - Top - End - #914
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * "Captain Proton" is not a valid character concept
    ** The BBEG is not Chaotica
    *** Nor is it Queen Arachnia
    **** Holonovels written by Tom Paris are not to be used in character/world creation
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 0.99 2.00 Internet(s), 2 Win(s), and 3000 Brownie Point(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  15. - Top - End - #915
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    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Man on Fire View Post
    * Party's wizard cannot use rapid evolution to prove world's religions wrong.
    ** If Party's wizard does this, party's cleric cannot summon his god to prove him wrong
    *** Cannot drive rest of the party and DM insane by asking them to explain how the two are possible at the same time.
    The gods created the first organism, and set it into a suitable environment, which over billions of years and with the aid of divine presence, eventually emerged in their image. What's so hard about that?

    * I am no longer allowed to throw guards off of their towers, solely to bodyslam them once they hit the ground.
    Again, once you have the hit due to survive it, when is this ever a bad idea?
    Can't write. Can't plan. Can draw a little.
    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

  16. - Top - End - #916
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    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I am to stop writing entire game systems, only to hide them inside my house only to be discovered after my suicide
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

  17. - Top - End - #917
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Kira_the_5th's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post

    Again, once you have the hit due to survive it, when is this ever a bad idea?
    Yes, but it's doing it at level 1, when you have single digit hit points, that makes it inadvisable. Granted, the fact that that character hasn't miraculously died yet is a good part of the aforementioned worship, given the stupid things he's done.

    That said,
    *Grappling two ogres in order to throw them into a river of lava is something best done at high levels, not Level 1. (To be fair, those ogres couldn't roll above a 5 to save their lives...)

    Also, newBlazingAngel, is everything alright? That one's oddly specific, and a bit worrying.
    Last edited by Kira_the_5th; 2012-07-12 at 11:23 PM.
    Avatar by Doran Liadon

  18. - Top - End - #918
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    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    It's based off this writer who did something similar. I frankly have no idea who, could have even been a false memory on my part. I in no way plan to commit suicide and don't have the attention span to leave behind many home written game modules.
    Last edited by newBlazingAngel; 2012-07-12 at 11:51 PM.
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

    Spoiler
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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

  19. - Top - End - #919
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    Morithias's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Deleted due to warning
    Last edited by Morithias; 2012-07-13 at 02:39 PM. Reason: recieved warning.

  20. - Top - End - #920
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Morithias View Post
    * Not allowed to assassinate the big bad by hiding a vial of poison in my vagina.

    (Not kidding, after I did it, the group literally told me "never do that again")
    It's the GM's fault, really, s/he failed to remember Evil Overlord item #26:

    No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me.

  21. - Top - End - #921
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    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Morithias View Post
    * Not allowed to assassinate the big bad by hiding a vial of poison in my vagina.

    (Not kidding, after I did it, the group literally told me "never do that again")

    ** Not allowed to assassinate the big bad via energy drain due to my succubus/thrall of the succubus queen (I can't spell her name to save my life) levels.

    *** Not allowed to use sex as a weapon unless it does NOT involve the perform (sex) skill. I.e Flirting with the guard to get him to let us through.
    ****Smothering a guard with my Heaving Bosom/Chiseled Pecs is more acceptable, but still not encouraged.
    Can't write. Can't plan. Can draw a little.
    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

  22. - Top - End - #922
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    Goblin

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * Not allowed to assassinate the big bad by hiding a vial of poison in my vagina.
    * If big bad is a woman I have to remind the DM that I can use Smite Evil on anything, before she attempts to rape me.

    (I heard of a guy who did this once).

    * If male character is trying o buy their freedom by offering BBEG night with female character, I can reveal BBEG is gay and have him drag said male character to his bedchambers. However, making this face while doing so is crossing the line.
    ** So is quoting that picture.
    Last edited by Man on Fire; 2012-07-13 at 07:49 AM.

  23. - Top - End - #923
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Man on Fire View Post
    * If big bad is a woman I have to remind the DM that I can use Smite Evil on anything, before she attempts to rape me.

    (I heard of a guy who did this once).
    I once tried to deal with this by houseruling that Smite Evil can only be used with weapons capable of drawing blood.

    And it... well... you can probably already guess how that turned out.

  24. - Top - End - #924
    Orc in the Playground
     
    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I am to stop insulting my players in foreign languages.
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

    Spoiler
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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

  25. - Top - End - #925
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by newBlazingAngel View Post
    *I am to stop insulting my players in foreign languages.
    ** I am to stop using normal phrases in fictitious languages that sound menacing.

    I had decided that the language of the Orcs in my campaign is Klingon (since I had a Klingon-English dictionary lying around. Don't ask.) They managed to capture an orc and started questioning him. He spat out answers in his guttural language. They thought he was threatening them, until one cast "Comprehend Languages" and found out he was simply asking where the bathroom was…
    Last edited by Ksheep; 2012-07-13 at 11:46 AM.
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 0.99 2.00 Internet(s), 2 Win(s), and 3000 Brownie Point(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  26. - Top - End - #926
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Flame of Anor's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    I once tried to deal with this by houseruling that Smite Evil can only be used with weapons capable of drawing blood.

    And it... well... you can probably already guess how that turned out.
    **Smite Evil can only be used with weapons which are capable of drawing blood from people other than female virgins.
    Quote Originally Posted by Honest Tiefling View Post
    Attempting to use Iron Heart Surge can often lead to the player removing the 'not being beaten upside the head' condition.
    avatar by me. Extended sig here.

  27. - Top - End - #927
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Lord_Gareth's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Using Smite Evil with a whip while crying out, "Kneel before your master!" is not acceptable behavior for a paladin.


    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
    My extended homebrew sig

  28. - Top - End - #928
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Morithias View Post
    ** Not allowed to assassinate the big bad via energy drain due to my succubus/thrall of the succubus queen (I can't spell her name to save my life) levels.
    I'm confused. Isn't that basically what that class is FOR?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord_Gareth View Post
    *Using Smite Evil with a whip while crying out, "Kneel before your master!" is not acceptable behavior for a paladin.
    ** No, not even for a Grey Guard
    ----

    * I may not try to kill off annoying NPCs by setting them up with my character's psycho ex from their backstory.
    Last edited by Arbane; 2012-07-13 at 12:36 PM.
    Imagine if all real-world conversations were like internet D&D conversations...
    Protip: DnD is an incredibly social game played by some of the most socially inept people on the planet - Lev
    I read this somewhere and I stick to it: "I would rather play a bad system with my friends than a great system with nobody". - Trevlac
    Quote Originally Posted by Kelb_Panthera View Post
    That said, trolling is entirely counterproductive (yes, even when it's hilarious).

  29. - Top - End - #929
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Flame of Anor View Post
    **Smite Evil can only be used with weapons which are capable of drawing blood from people other than female virgins.
    It was a pit fiend of all things, actually.

  30. - Top - End - #930
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    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I am only allowed one character at a time.

    **Controlling a platoon of level 2 warriors does not equal a level twenty fighter.

    ***Trampling only does a d1 of damage.
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

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