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  1. - Top - End - #1081
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PirateGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    As a female halfling dragoon fighter...

    *I may not out-intimidate the half orc samurai. It hurts his feelings
    *I may not team up with a Tengu dragonrider solely to gain free use of a mount and free rides places.
    *I may not tell the male members of the party to "grow a set" when approached by an overpowering force.

    *I may not use the Leaping Lance feature to make a leaping charge from over 600 feet in the air on top of my target.
    *adding in a long length of chain and have the aforementioned dragonrider effectively "slingshot" me in is right out.
    *crunching out the mounted charge damage and the added impact damage, plus the dragon's damage for technically also throwing me, will result in lost lunches and requests for soda money.
    *Realizing that this move effectively combines the "throw the halfling" and "orbital strike" tactics discussed in theory all the time does not make it okay. Only awesome.

  2. - Top - End - #1082
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Esprit15's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I may not ask the BBEG to stop being mean.
    ** Even if I can pass the DC.
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  3. - Top - End - #1083
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    Techwarrior's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Techwarrior View Post
    If the fresh level 1 party looks at what has just happened and the resulting 'obvious explanation' involves more than a dozen double crosses, four triple crosses, and someone they aren't even sure how many times that guy has betrayed people, my DM license will be revoked.
    From the same game:
    If the first spell that the PC's research is Discern Lies, Greater the custom spell that works like Discern Lies, but isn't fooled by things that allow you to lie while under its effects. My DM license will be revoked again, although under the table DM'ing is encouraged by the same group.

    PC: You are disgusting, keep doing this.
    Avatar courtesy of Ceika. Posting is currently infrequent due to internet provider issues.


  4. - Top - End - #1084
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    Details about your campaign. Please.
    Well, we're currently in the capitol city of [insert the DM's made-up country here >.>] doing infinite time loops as an excuse not to fight the BBEG as level 4 characters.

    Bonus points for guessing which of the four characters I am.

  5. - Top - End - #1085
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Lord_Gareth's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I am no longer allowed to arrange for the execution of one of my motley mates by submitting evidence to the Crown that he is in a romantic relationship with a Fetch.
    ** I am also not allowed to complain when it turns out I was right and aforementioned Fetch comes after me for it.
    *** Really, not expecting her father to shoot me after I killed his daughter and her boyfriend is a bit much.


    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
    My extended homebrew sig

  6. - Top - End - #1086
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    boomwolf's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I may not use a dragon as an improvised weapon.
    **Even if I do possess the strength to fling him around.
    ***Double so if I am currently riding him.


    Quote Originally Posted by Cormag81 View Post
    2117: No matter how good a debater I am out of character there is no way to logically get out of falling after your paladin kills his patron god.

  7. - Top - End - #1087
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    Techwarrior's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    If I take Improvised Weapon Proficiency, I must now select what Improvised Weapon I am proficient with, I am not proficient in all of them.
    Avatar courtesy of Ceika. Posting is currently infrequent due to internet provider issues.


  8. - Top - End - #1088
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by byaku rai View Post
    Well, we're currently in the capitol city of [insert the DM's made-up country here >.>] doing infinite time loops as an excuse not to fight the BBEG as level 4 characters.

    Bonus points for guessing which of the four characters I am.
    ...It was a homestuck reference, wasn't it, Strider.
    Have a deviantart!
    Can't write. Can't plan. Can draw a little.
    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

  9. - Top - End - #1089
    Orc in the Playground
     
    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *My characters motivation is not to be to 'test the limits of a Dungeon Master's sanity
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

  10. - Top - End - #1090
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    Techwarrior's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Nor may it be to test the party's sanity.
    Last edited by Techwarrior; 2012-07-28 at 09:01 PM.
    Avatar courtesy of Ceika. Posting is currently infrequent due to internet provider issues.


  11. - Top - End - #1091
    Orc in the Playground
     
    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Nor my own
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

  12. - Top - End - #1092
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Sith_Happens's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by byaku rai View Post
    Well, we're currently in the capitol city of [insert the DM's made-up country here >.>] doing infinite time loops as an excuse not to fight the BBEG as level 4 characters.

    Bonus points for guessing which of the four characters I am.
    Link, obviously. You know, because you basically just described the premise of Majora's Mask.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  13. - Top - End - #1093
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Planetar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by newBlazingAngel View Post
    *Nor my own
    * Unless it is a Call of Cthulhu game.
    ** When playing a CoC game, SAN is not shorthand for "sanitary" and I am not permitted to record the phrase 'napkins' at this entry.

    * The BBEG does not have, and does not need, my permission to die.

  14. - Top - End - #1094
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * The BBEG may NOT be Discord
    ** Nor may he be Q
    *** Q and Q are also not allowed
    **** No, the BBEG is NOT a member of the Q continuum

    Oh, and here's one of my player's reactions when I suggested that first one.
    Last edited by Ksheep; 2012-07-29 at 11:16 AM.
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 0.99 Internet(s), 2 Win(s), and 3000 Brownie Point(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  15. - Top - End - #1095
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Emperordaniel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Ksheep View Post
    * The BBEG may NOT be Discord
    ** Nor may he be Q
    *** Q and Q are also not allowed
    **** No, the BBEG is NOT a member of the Q continuum

    Oh, and here's one of my player's reactions when I suggested that first one.
    ***** If the DM turns unspeakably evil, I am not allowed to blame it on Discord.
    group hug!
    Hold person.
    ...

    Quote Originally Posted by The Giant View Post
    You forgot that the half-orc cleric who researched it is Redcloak's niece.
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    Awesome elf cleric avatar made by Kurien. Many thanks!

  16. - Top - End - #1096
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Marillion's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Before I am allowed to challenge someone to "split their lungs with blood and thunder", I must first have maxed out the Whaler skill.
    Quote Originally Posted by Xefas View Post
    I like my women like I like my coffee; 10 feet tall, incomprehensible to the human psyche, and capable of ending life as a triviality.

  17. - Top - End - #1097
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Socratov's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    Y'know, I have ALLWAYS wanted to send a group of players to the elemental plane of candy. I mean, there's enough precedent for it in video-games....
    *If I play an awakened unicorn named charlie, I will have to expect this, as well as beďng crowned king and having an aquatic adventure. I will have to take deformities (willin gor otherwise) to further the plot

    Baubles for Blackwing!

    “The game, Viktor, is on!” - Avatar by the Outstanding Oneris

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    Original by Grinner



    Original Tyrion by Smuchmuch:



    Pony Tyrion by Elemental:


  18. - Top - End - #1098
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Man on Fire's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Ksheep View Post
    * The BBEG may NOT be Discord
    * If other players make characters based on MLP cast and are expecting me to do Pinkie Pie, I can make Kratos just to piss them off. I'm however, not allowed to complain to the DM about the beating I'm going to suffer.
    ** After party tries to kill my character and force me to make pinkie pie, I cannot channel my inner munchkin and create guy clearly based on Asura just to kill everybody.
    *** Cannot turn the game into murderous arms race with me and other guys constantly killing each other with more and more optimized characters.
    **** Even if DM isn't a fan of MLP, Driving Fluttershyish-character to suicide with my tiny-veiled Spider Jerusalem is corssing the line.
    ***** Destroying everybody's love for the show by having their Ponylikes hunted and tortured to death by my pseudo-Piramidhead wil lget me kicked out of the game.
    Last edited by Man on Fire; 2012-07-29 at 05:29 PM.

  19. - Top - End - #1099
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Craft (Cheese)'s Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Man on Fire View Post
    * If other players making characters based on MLP cast and are expecting me to do Pinkie Pie, I can make Kratos just to piss them off. I'm however, not allowed to complain to the DM about the beating I'm going to suffer.
    Just say you're Pinkamena and everyone will be okay with this.

  20. - Top - End - #1100
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    BlueKnightGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * I am not to point out flaws or weakpoints in my players plans/supposedly-optimized builds by using the version without them against them and smiling whilst doing so
    * I am not to "help" my players upgrade their build to take the BBEG in single combat
    * If My players live under the impression that killing the BBEG in early encounters equals an early win, I am not allowed to react to my players defeating the BBEG earlier than the final confrontation with glee and smiling, before shuffling through paper work and slowly pulling out a new sheet with the words "if only" written on the back
    * I may not make my players to worried to act in a room with three doors for fear that one of them will kill them if all three are entierly untrapped and in fact lead to special fun stuff
    * I may not use the dwarf fortress version of the term special fun stuff
    * Psychology is important in games, but I am no longer allowed to use it.
    love of mine, someday you will die,
    and I'll be close behind
    to follow you into the dark


    death cab for cutie - I will follow you into the dark

    Bleach D20 classes project - come, we wants all your brians!
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  21. - Top - End - #1101
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Planetar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * May not use a credit card for Ubercharger builds.
    * The Cheater of Mystra does not involve loaded d20s.
    * Jack B. Quick does not require a candlestick as part of his equipment.
    * May not name my kobold character Pom-Pom.
    ** And he cannot take levels in bard, or Profession (Cheerleader).
    * May not use an elixir of love to try and make the paladin fall.

  22. - Top - End - #1102
    Orc in the Playground
     
    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *As a dungeon master I am to stop testing my poker face with these games.
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

  23. - Top - End - #1103
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *May not make a 9th level version of prestidigation for the sole purpose of cleaning an entire city.
    **May not use it to set everything flammable in the city on fire, either.

    *If I ever get the ability to make artifacts, may not make the first one a portal gun.
    **An unbeatable wand, a stone of True Resurrection and a cloak that makes me completely undetectable are also out of the question.

    *The far realms are not my playground.
    **There's a difference between going outside to play and going Outside to play.

    *If I become a thrallheard and repeatedly kill off my followers for the raw materials, I can expect to depopulate the surrounding area very quickly.

    *May not planar bind Succubi or Lillitu to make an entire group of paladins fall, just because I'm bored.

    *This isn't sparta.
    **Not to ask how the bottomless pit got there.
    ***Not to begin an exploration mission to the centre of the earth through said pit.
    ****Not to use it as a waste disposal.
    *****Not to try filling it with water.
    ******Not to trick the party members into thinking I succeeded.

    *There's a time and a place for tactical nukes. Hand to hand combat is not one of those times or places.
    **No, not even then.

    *As DM, may not base campaigns on Eversion.

    *The bad end may not have the lines "and they lived happily ever after" in it.
    **The good end may not end with billions of people dying.

  24. - Top - End - #1104
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Techwarrior's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    The BBEG's plan may not involve Decanters of Endless Water in any way.
    No, especially not if the plan also involves bunnies.
    The BBEG may not create the custom item Decanter of Endless Lava.
    I am not allowed to use Decanters of Endless anythings.
    No, not even Decanters of Endless Fluffy Bunnies, nor Decan'ters of Endless Pizza.
    Especially if I can't get the evil grin off of my face when I say it, due to the evil plan I have for it.
    Avatar courtesy of Ceika. Posting is currently infrequent due to internet provider issues.


  25. - Top - End - #1105
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Esprit15's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *No matter how in character, I may not start the game by killing half the PC's and most NPC's in the area.

    *If I am not the party face, I may not speak to important NPC's.
    **I must have a bonus to CHA if I am the party face.
    ***I may not have a bonus to CHA.

    *'Nice' when dealing with NPC's may not be "Well I didn't electrocute them."
    Utsuho Reiuji avatar by linklele

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  26. - Top - End - #1106
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Man on Fire's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *The bad end may not have the lines "and they lived happily ever after" in it.
    **The good end may not end with billions of people dying.
    Even if entire party is composed of Chaotic Evil characters based on iconic Disney vilians?

    Hmm...


    * Cannot base the plot on Epic Mickey.

  27. - Top - End - #1107
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Devil

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * No longer allowed to decoy my players into false preparations through use of puns.

    ((1st level PCs fight a bunch of goblins and overhear them talking about "hobbies" up ahead. They charge ahead and fight a bunch of hobgoblins, and learn that there are multiple "buggies" in the building ahead. They buff for bugbear, charge in, and find a coach house.))

    * No longer allowed to decoy my DM (different campaign) through use of puns.
    ** .... actually, NEVER WAS allowed to do this.
    *** No puns. Period.
    **** Why am I asking if they cramp my DM's style?
    Alstroemeria in Thrair's War of the Final Whisper.
    GM of A Thin Blue Line.

    Me: How crazy it gets depends on how much expertise, adroitness, and finesse you navigate the current craziness. Stick the landing and the whole thing could be wrapped up in a bow tomorrow.
    Player: In other words... we're pretty much doomed, right?
    Me: You're not entirely doomed yet. Now I'll just be sitting back in the corner here, cackling at your next few decisions.

    I'm not an evil GM! Honest!

  28. - Top - End - #1108
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *You may not use Tenser's Floating Disk, portable holes, and several thousand Alchemist's Flask to carpet-bomb an enemy army. Or the BBEG. Or cities. In general really.
    The Dungeon Master on Facebook: http://tinyurl.com/cczy9vg

    You'd probably be best to take everything I say with a grain of salt. Unless we're arguing about alignment. In which case, you're wrong.

  29. - Top - End - #1109
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by BootStrapTommy View Post
    *You may not use Tenser's Floating Disk, portable holes, and several thousand Alchemist's Flask to carpet-bomb an enemy army. Or the BBEG. Or cities. In general really.
    ** May not use ring gates and Overland Flight either.
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 0.99 Internet(s), 2 Win(s), and 3000 Brownie Point(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  30. - Top - End - #1110
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Randomguy View Post
    *May not make a 9th level version of prestidigation for the sole purpose of cleaning an entire city.
    **May not use it to set everything flammable in the city on fire, either.

    *If I ever get the ability to make artifacts, may not make the first one a portal gun.
    **An unbeatable wand, a stone of True Resurrection and a cloak that makes me completely undetectable are also out of the question.

    *The far realms are not my playground.
    **There's a difference between going outside to play and going Outside to play.

    *If I become a thrallheard and repeatedly kill off my followers for the raw materials, I can expect to depopulate the surrounding area very quickly.

    *May not planar bind Succubi or Lillitu to make an entire group of paladins fall, just because I'm bored.

    *This isn't sparta.
    **Not to ask how the bottomless pit got there.
    ***Not to begin an exploration mission to the centre of the earth through said pit.
    ****Not to use it as a waste disposal.
    *****Not to try filling it with water.
    ******Not to trick the party members into thinking I succeeded.

    *There's a time and a place for tactical nukes. Hand to hand combat is not one of those times or places.
    **No, not even then.
    *Not to use nukes while within visual range.

    *Not to empty out the entire plane of water using the bottomless pit.
    *not to then traverse that plane, coop-de-grasing all the washed-up survivors and eating their meats.
    *Not to empty out the plane of water into the plane of fire to destory them both.
    *Paritucalry not to turn the plane of water into a cooking-pot.

    **May not Use a few helms of change alignment to make an entirely new group of palladins out of planar-bound Succubi or Lillitu ethier.

    ** May not use ring gates and Overland Flight either.
    *Using a dragon cohort for the same purposes is also banned.
    **using a lindworm and casting fly on it first is similarly disliked.
    Have a deviantart!
    Can't write. Can't plan. Can draw a little.
    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

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