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  1. - Top - End - #1261
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Techwarrior's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    If I am playing the Barbarian, I may never solve any of the puzzles set by the DM.
    I especially cannot solve ALL of the puzzles.
    This extends to any character with a Wisdom that is less than 10.

    From now on I must play Wisdom based characters.
    Avatar courtesy of Ceika. Posting is currently infrequent due to internet provider issues.


  2. - Top - End - #1262
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Daemon

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by eulmanis12 View Post
    -Awesome stuff-
    I want to play in a campaign with you...
    Quote Originally Posted by SSGoW View Post
    95% of martial problems can be solved by Tome of Battle...

  3. - Top - End - #1263
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by byaku rai View Post

    *Decanters of endless [x], where x is any substance associated with a given elemental or demi-elemental plane of the D&D planescape, are frowned upon in general.
    **Special consideration goes into the frowning upon of Decanters of Endless Gasoline, Whiskey, Oil, Grease, Lube, Gunpowder, Tiny Shards of Glass, Bees, Spiders, Scorpions, Dragons, Sewer Water, Urine, Lasers, and/or Gold.
    Shut up and take my decanter of endless money!

    ** I may not play 50 bards that are useless to the party.
    *** Becoming a pile of corpses large enough to grant total cover does not count as being useful.
    * The starting level of a campaign is in class-levels and not C.R. Therefore, I must play 1 lv 20 druid, and not 20 druids at lv1
    ** Having them pool their respective companions into 1 lv 20 companion is just rude.
    Last edited by Doorhandle; 2012-09-07 at 11:54 PM.
    Have a deviantart!
    Can't write. Can't plan. Can draw a little.
    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

  4. - Top - End - #1264
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Socratov's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by eulmanis12 View Post
    *When the DM claims that something is physicaly and magically impossible, I may not take this as a challenge

    *likewise I may not consider any statement along the lines of "this is the craziest plan i've ever heard" when not refering to one of my plans as a challenge

    *if my character drives cthullu insane, I have done something horribly horribly wrong (read as right)

    *as a barbarian with an int of 5, I may not come up with plans involving multivariable calculus in any way (with the exception of using a multivariable calculus textbook as an improvised weapon)
    **As a barbarian with an int of 5 I should not be intelegent enough to come up with a plan in the first place
    ***in fact that character should not know what the word plan means
    ****I may not have characters with an int of less than 10



    *if I am not a wizard or artificer, actually even if I am a wizard or artificer, my plan may not involve nuclear fusion

    *If the entire list of equipment for my plan to defeat the BBEG calls for a paperclip, two ball bearings, a rubber band, sovereign glue, duct tape, an axe handle, three sewing needles, and a fork. And it works. I will be beated relentlessly with the DMG.


    * I may not use magic Items to approximate walkie talkies
    **I may never again use the line "This is Sierra Echo Alpha Lima Six reporting Bravo Bravo Echo Golf and 20 Tangos in grid square, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Requesting Foxtrot India Romeo Echo Bravo Alpha Lima Lima. Over." in a D&D session. Even if it makes sense with the "walkie talkies"
    ***I must stop assuming anyone else in my group understands the Military Alphabet
    *A multivariable calculus textbook is not to be used as a weapon
    **No, i just cant have a weapon of mass destruction
    ***are you sure you want a demonstration of the power of said textbook? Hold onto your head then
    ****DERP

    Baubles for Blackwing!

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  5. - Top - End - #1265
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Arbane's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    ** Having them pool their respective companions into 1 lv 20 companion is just rude.
    *** Their combined companion is NOT Captain Planet.
    Imagine if all real-world conversations were like internet D&D conversations...
    Protip: DnD is an incredibly social game played by some of the most socially inept people on the planet - Lev

  6. - Top - End - #1266
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Marillion's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *While subverting the Vestenmannavanjar stereotype of big, clever, fierce berserkers is fun and even encouraged, may not subvert all of them at once.
    *May not speak with an outrageously faux-Norwegian accent.
    *Especially not if this causes the other players to accidentally slip into the accent.
    *Everythings am NOT hards for Marilli- oh DAMMIT!
    *If the Bearsark advantage is purchased, the party must be informed, and it must be used more than once in the campaign in a situation BESIDES brutally murdering a random rude civilian.
    *I gets it, you made an expy! Whats do you want, a be-able-to-makes-expy's awards!?
    *Chickens am nots a candy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Xefas View Post
    I like my women like I like my coffee; 10 feet tall, incomprehensible to the human psyche, and capable of ending life as a triviality.

  7. - Top - End - #1267
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    BlackDragon

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    -The verbal component for the spell "Hideous Laughter" is not "So a ranger, a wizard and a barbarian walk into a bar..."

  8. - Top - End - #1268
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Socratov's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by PaperMustache View Post
    -The verbal component for the spell "Hideous Laughter" is not "So a ranger, a wizard and a barbarian walk into a bar..."
    **it's range is close range but no touch attack is needed, so no, you don't have to tickle the guy with the tiny feather...
    Last edited by Socratov; 2012-09-11 at 08:08 AM.

    Baubles for Blackwing!

    “The game, Viktor, is on!” - Avatar by the Outstanding Oneris

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  9. - Top - End - #1269
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    Man on Fire's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * Cannot ban Unarmed Swordsage just because I think the name's f@#$ing stupid.
    * If I change the name of every single maneuver to something I can say with straight face I must write both names down.

  10. - Top - End - #1270
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Sith_Happens's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Man on Fire View Post
    * Cannot ban Unarmed Swordsage just because I think the name's f@#$ing stupid.
    * If I change the name of every single maneuver to something I can say with straight face I must write both names down.
    * I may not consistently "forget" that FIVE SHADOW CREEPING ICE ENERVATION STRIKE is called something else now.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  11. - Top - End - #1271
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    Kazyan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *If, after explaining a character concept, the DM doesn't say anything within three seconds (laughter is not speech), I don't get to play it.

  12. - Top - End - #1272
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Devil

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Objections to my most recent character, a level 1 archery-based fighter:

    * The best place for a meatshield is NOT at the exact boundary of the point-blank shot feat.
    ** If the rest of the party almost dies by the end of the module, and I don't take a single HP of damage ever, something is wrong.
    ** Rogues are entitled to a flanker of they whine loud enough.
    ** No longer allowed to have rapid shot AND precise shot at 1st level (may have mentioned this already).
    *** Not allowed to use this to one-shot (well, two-shot) a DR 5/slashing, 8 HP monster, without at least critting. It makes the DM cry.
    ** I am required to lose initiative at least once, even if it is to a party member.

    * I am to stop arguing and admit that my character is paranoid already.
    ** I am not to automatically assume that The Enemy is the kindly priest that hired us to retrieve the religious artifact.
    ** My skillset should be broader than "killing things". Also, my employment history. Yes, people count as things.
    *** The Enemy does not have my money, and I am never again to say that -- or anything else -- with the same measure of wide-eyed lunacy.
    **** No, wait, the priest DOES have my money, and he IS planning to pay us, he just isn't the enemy!
    ***** PUT YOUR WEAPON DOWN DAMMIT!
    ****** The intimidate skill does NOT work on party members, and I DO have to roll a die to use it, regardless of how this particular episode seems to have played out.
    Alstroemeria in Thrair's War of the Final Whisper.
    GM of A Thin Blue Line.

    Me: How crazy it gets depends on how much expertise, adroitness, and finesse you navigate the current craziness. Stick the landing and the whole thing could be wrapped up in a bow tomorrow.
    Player: In other words... we're pretty much doomed, right?
    Me: You're not entirely doomed yet. Now I'll just be sitting back in the corner here, cackling at your next few decisions.

    I'm not an evil GM! Honest!

  13. - Top - End - #1273
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dimers's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Kazyan View Post
    *If, after explaining a character concept, the DM doesn't say anything within three seconds (laughter is not speech), I don't get to play it.
    ** I also don't get to play it if the DM says "No", even if she does so within three seconds.
    Avatar by Meltheim: Eveve, dwarven battlemind, 4e Dark Sun

  14. - Top - End - #1274
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Techwarrior's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    I am restricted from playing characters that the DM responds with "Yes. Do it."

    Ever. No matter how awesome It is.
    Avatar courtesy of Ceika. Posting is currently infrequent due to internet provider issues.


  15. - Top - End - #1275
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Qwertystop's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    What? But I want to play a Major Glamerkin Soulcrafter!
    Quote Originally Posted by jamieth View Post
    ...though Talla does her best to sound objective and impartial, it doesn't cover stuff like "ask a 9-year-old to tank for the party."
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  16. - Top - End - #1276
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    When I play a Monk, I cannot crack open my Exalted sourcebook and just pick names at random for his attacks.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tychris1 View Post
    Pokonic look what you have done! You fool, you`ve doomed us all!
    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    Oh Pokonic, never change. And never become my D.M.
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  17. - Top - End - #1277
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Techwarrior's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    No character of mine may shout "FALCON PUNCH!!!" for any reason.

    Even a desert wind focused unarmed swordsage with the fiery fists feat.
    Avatar courtesy of Ceika. Posting is currently infrequent due to internet provider issues.


  18. - Top - End - #1278
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Arbane's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Pokonic View Post
    When I play a Monk, I cannot crack open my Exalted sourcebook and just pick names at random for his attacks.
    ** Especially not if it's MoEP: Alchemicals.
    *** ESPECIALLY not if the one you pick is Thousandfold Courtesan Calculation.
    Imagine if all real-world conversations were like internet D&D conversations...
    Protip: DnD is an incredibly social game played by some of the most socially inept people on the planet - Lev

  19. - Top - End - #1279
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    Rockphed's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Reltzik View Post
    ** My skillset should be broader than "killing things". Also, my employment history. Yes, people count as things.
    ***Time is also a thing.
    **** So are ideas. Actually, if you managed to kill an Idea, you should probably list it.
    ***** Creating evil gods is not something you want on your employment history if you are trying to get good people to hire you.
    Dragontar by Serpentine.

    Now offering unsolicited advice.

  20. - Top - End - #1280
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Rockphed View Post
    ***Time is also a thing.
    **** So are ideas. Actually, if you managed to kill an Idea, you should probably list it.
    ***** Creating evil gods is not something you want on your employment history if you are trying to get good people to hire you.
    ****** Killing evil gods might help. Killing gods indiscriminately will not
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 0.99 Internet(s), 2 Win(s), and 3000 Brownie Point(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  21. - Top - End - #1281
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * I may not ask the other PCs perfectly innocent questions that nonetheless require their players to invent backstory details on the spot.
    ** Especially not if said questions also expose holes in the opening premise of the campaign.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  22. - Top - End - #1282
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Riverdance's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Sith_Happens View Post
    * I may not ask the other PCs perfectly innocent questions that nonetheless require their players to invent backstory details on the spot.
    ** Especially not if said questions also expose holes in the opening premise of the campaign.
    ***When making up backstory on the spot I may not intentionally expose holes in the opening of the campaign.

    *I may not make "invented gunpowder" a part of my backstory just so I can use gunpowder.
    **This goes double for nukes
    ***"Invented bacon" does not make me a god.
    Many thanks to Ceika for my Avatar

  23. - Top - End - #1283
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    McDouggal's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    ****But it should.

    *I may no longer outdamage the party rogue... as a 4th edition Wizard.
    CLG in Season FIVE I Believe!


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  24. - Top - End - #1284
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Afool's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * When the DM hints heavily that stepping on the obviously marked staircase will lead to death, may not go and pick up a copper my gnome bard tossed on it to check for traps.
    *May not proceed to roll up an Elf Swashbuckler just to do it again.

    (Haven't yet, but Jim Jones will be avenged )
    Thanks to Teutonic Knight for letting me adopt my Pikeman Avatar.


  25. - Top - End - #1285
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Wraith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Ksheep View Post
    ****** Killing evil gods might help. Killing gods indiscriminately will not
    * I may not invent Gods and found autonomous cults to worship them solely for the purpose of later hunting down and killing said Gods.
    ** No, not even Evil ones.

    * If the GM is reciting a riddle that we must find the answer to in order to progress in the plot, at the very least I am to let him finish the question before giving the correct answer.
    ** The plot will not progress if the GM asks a riddle and I give an answer that is correct in every detail EXCEPT that it was not the specific one that the GM was expecting.
    ** ESPECIALLY if my answer was more sensible, in character or genre appropriate than the actual answer.
    Head Coach of The Ironbeards
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    Krungil Axebeardaxe (Went crowd-surfing, and never came back.)
    Lokir Axebeardaxeson (Bounced off an Elf. Bounced hard.)

  26. - Top - End - #1286
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Dimers's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Wraith View Post
    * I may not invent Gods and found autonomous cults to worship them solely for the purpose of later hunting down and killing said Gods.
    ** No, not even Evil ones.
    Wow. Now that one had never occurred to me. I mean, I don't generally play on the killing-and/or-becoming-gods level of play, but ... yeah, that's a brilliant idea that absolutely should not be done.
    Avatar by Meltheim: Eveve, dwarven battlemind, 4e Dark Sun

  27. - Top - End - #1287
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I Am not Allowed to enter Giantitp.com/forums and any of its under sections.
    **Even through web sites that allow me to do so without doing so.
    ***Asking others is assumed as to be disallowed.
    ****My internet conection has been unplugged and all cords stolen.
    *****As Have been the Computer.
    ******The Next attempt will result in a city wide EMP attack to prevent me from using ANY computer.

  28. - Top - End - #1288
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *May not point out the possibility of defending against EMP attacks.
    Status: Recovering. ETA: 3 days

  29. - Top - End - #1289
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Devil

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Wraith View Post
    * I may not invent Gods and found autonomous cults to worship them solely for the purpose of later hunting down and killing said Gods.
    ** No, not even Evil ones.
    *** Under no conditions, ever, may I make a deity with the portfolio of deific inconsistency, impossibility, and paradox.
    **** This rule applies retroactively to the beginning of time.
    ***** My not being able to create it, ever, does NOT mean that I thus automatically create it. Why? BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE A LOGICAL PARA-... dammit.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wraith View Post
    * If the GM is reciting a riddle that we must find the answer to in order to progress in the plot, at the very least I am to let him finish the question before giving the correct answer.
    ** The plot will not progress if the GM asks a riddle and I give an answer that is correct in every detail EXCEPT that it was not the specific one that the GM was expecting.
    ** ESPECIALLY if my answer was more sensible, in character or genre appropriate than the actual answer.
    *** Neither as DM nor as PC am I allowed to set up a series of traps with riddle keys, where the "correct" answer to the riddle is counted as incorrect, and the actual response that bypasses the trap is something gibberish like "Heeby Jeebies".
    **** Even if this is the smart way to do it for a character with good memory and my wizard has 21 int by this point.
    Alstroemeria in Thrair's War of the Final Whisper.
    GM of A Thin Blue Line.

    Me: How crazy it gets depends on how much expertise, adroitness, and finesse you navigate the current craziness. Stick the landing and the whole thing could be wrapped up in a bow tomorrow.
    Player: In other words... we're pretty much doomed, right?
    Me: You're not entirely doomed yet. Now I'll just be sitting back in the corner here, cackling at your next few decisions.

    I'm not an evil GM! Honest!

  30. - Top - End - #1290
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Rockphed's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Reltzik View Post
    *** Neither as DM nor as PC am I allowed to set up a series of traps with riddle keys, where the "correct" answer to the riddle is counted as incorrect, and the actual response that bypasses the trap is something gibberish like "Heeby Jeebies".
    **** Even if this is the smart way to do it for a character with good memory and my wizard has 21 int by this point.
    ***** A random string of characters is right out.
    ****** Using my players' actual passwords to anything is a good way to learn just how annoyed my players can get.
    ******* Key loggers are not toys. I am not to install them on other people's machines.

    * Basing a character on Teddy Roosevelt is okay. Basing a character on cousin Teddy from "Arsenic and Old Lace" is not.
    Dragontar by Serpentine.

    Now offering unsolicited advice.

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