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  1. - Top - End - #211
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Esprit15's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *May not question why the game universe works as it does, in character or not.
    Awesome avatar by Cuthalion

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    By Ceika, Ceika, Linklel (Except for one that appears to be lost to time)

  2. - Top - End - #212
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I am never, ever allowed the use of the spells Grease and Animate Rope, in combination or otherwise, ever again. Ever.
    *In an associated and perfectly justified ruling, bosses are not to be defeated by sapping their will to live and then removing their organs from their still-weeping husk.
    *In an associated, perfectly justified and pre-emptive ruling, this also goes for mooks of all kinds, NPCs in general, and, look, just anything that it would be possible to defeat in such a manner.
    *And anything that it isn't possible to defeat in such a manner, just in case.

    *If the DM introduces a powerful NPC who is going to stop us from being killed by the hordes of ravenous demons we've drawn to ourselves, we are not to turn them to stone.
    *We are certainly not to use the resulting statue to fight off the demons anyway.
    * "We didn't know it was going to be turned to stone when we activated the Rod of Wonder" is a condemnation, not a legitimate excuse.

    *Animal Husbandry checks are not the solution to every problem, even if I am playing a character based on 8-Bit Theatre's Red Mage.
    *While they are, factually speaking, the beginning of every problem for our enemies, this is no more acceptable.
    *Animal Husbandry isn't even a skill.
    *No, you cannot refluff your Bardic Knowledge checks like that.
    *Nor your Dark Knowledge checks.
    *Animal Husbandry is banned in all forms, for the sake of the DM's mental well-being.

  3. - Top - End - #213
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    Randomguy's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *As a DM, I am not to make a game that starts with the characters in a dungeon with nothing but a set of ring gates, at the mercy of an insane intelligent trap that spans the entire dungeon.

    Portal, anyone?

  4. - Top - End - #214
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    Blisstake's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I may not continuously swing my sword at atoms until I roll a natural 20 and create a nuclear explosion.
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    Tarok and Kamo, level 6 half-orc ranger, bunyip-slayer, and all around badass.

    I like half-orcs

    Retired:

    Aldrin Cress, level 10 human sorcerer. Hero of Korvosa.
    Tireas Slate, level 4 tiefling ninja. Eternally scheming.

    DMing: Dragon's Demand

  5. - Top - End - #215
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Randomguy View Post
    *As a DM, I am not to make a game that starts with the characters in a dungeon with nothing but a set of ring gates, at the mercy of an insane intelligent trap that spans the entire dungeon.
    Of course not! They should have to make it through several rooms worth of puzzles and traps before they find the ring gates.
    Hurray for Portal.

  6. - Top - End - #216
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I am not allowed to make a level one character that carries an entire party full of level fives.
    *I won't fend off an entire strike force of orcs with one non-damaging spell again.
    *The party does not appreciate my paladin leading them into a death trap simply by virtue of being too LG.

  7. - Top - End - #217
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Blisstake View Post
    *I may not continuously swing my sword at atoms until I roll a natural 20 and create a nuclear explosion.
    Unless you're level is very high or your weapon has the fission quality, you won't do any damage. The strong nuclear force gives them a high D.R

    *Cannot wield a natural weapon that isn't attached to me.
    *No, duct tape will not let me do that.
    *Cannot make a mecha out of the monster's bisected corpses without relevant ranks in nechrotech.
    *Cannot rocket jump using a fireball.
    *Cannot sticky jump using a delayed-blast fireball.
    * Cannot wield 3 swords in each hand and one in my mouth.
    *this dos not mean I can weild 6 swords in one hand and three in my mouth.
    *Jotengrip be dammed, this still applies to battleaxes and all other weapons.

    * I will be rewarded for having the character quirk "draws his sword at the first sign of trouble" in Mousguard, but I should not expect similar results if I try this in shadowrun.
    *Especially if I do this in respone to a troublesome letter.
    *Cannot perform a single-stroke battle with an owl.
    * Not to scream out CRAAAAAAAAAB! if we are just encountering a normally-sized one.
    *Even if we're mice and so it's 5 times our size and ravenous.
    * If we enter a tunnel system, and come to a fork in the path, we cannot use the markings from our pathfinder session to find the right way.
    *This also means we cannot end up in a crossover with them.
    *Especially not as the slime rats from the last session that were kicked and exploded.
    * If the young hotblooded mouse charges into the light, he cannot blame me when he end out sailing through the air into the ocean.
    *It is not in the Nature of a mouse to be able to bisect a serpent in one strike, redwall be damned.
    *Cannot play as a mice who was cursed by a war god to have a fit of rage that killed his family.
    *Perticually if this same mouse is white-furred with read streaks going over his eye, and who wields two fish-hooks in battle.
    *…for frik’s sake, YOU CANNOT BE MOUSE KRATOS!
    *The mousguard rules state it takes 20000 mice to succeed in killing one black bear. This does not mean I can achieve the same thing using 2000000 ravenous tadpoles.
    *It is beyond the ability of mouse society to develop a nuclear bomb for the purpose of killing bearthulhu.
    *not to refer to bears as bearthulhu.
    *Even if one is capable of eating the entire mouselands and dark rituals are held in order to plactate them.
    * No matter what the scale rules indicate, cannot fit a mouse fortress on the back of a moose.
    Can't write. Can't plan. Can draw a little.
    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

  8. - Top - End - #218
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    *…for frik’s sake, YOU CANNOT BE MOUSE KRATOS!
    ...want...

  9. - Top - End - #219
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    BlueKnightGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * No matter what the scale rules indicate, cannot fit a mouse fortress on the back of a moose.
    * Nor onto a camel
    * or Bearthulu

  10. - Top - End - #220
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    Metahuman1's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackestOfMages View Post
    * Nor onto a camel
    * or Bearthulu
    *Taming Bearthulu to be my mount is right out.
    "I Burn!"

  11. - Top - End - #221
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Blisstake's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    Unless you're level is very high or your weapon has the fission quality, you won't do any damage. The strong nuclear force gives them a high D.R
    *If I know something I'm attempting isn't possible, I am now required to tell my DM.
    Avatar by A Rainy Knight

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    Tarok and Kamo, level 6 half-orc ranger, bunyip-slayer, and all around badass.

    I like half-orcs

    Retired:

    Aldrin Cress, level 10 human sorcerer. Hero of Korvosa.
    Tireas Slate, level 4 tiefling ninja. Eternally scheming.

    DMing: Dragon's Demand

  12. - Top - End - #222
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Blisstake View Post
    *If I know something I'm attempting isn't possible, I am now required to tell my DM.
    *I can't bring up this rule when ayone is using magic
    *also cannot bring it up when we fight undead
    *or any monsters

    *conversly, being a smart*** and saying that anything is possible at a quantum level, doesn't help my case
    Going out of town, of you don't hear from me by 11/20 send me a poke

  13. - Top - End - #223
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Chilingsworth's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Blisstake View Post
    *I may not continuously swing my sword at atoms until I roll a natural 20 and create a nuclear explosion.
    *As objects, atoms aren't subject to crits.

    *also, the spliting of single atoms wouldn't release much energy, anyway.
    Thanks to Pesimismrocks for my awesome avatar, and Gaiyamato for the game that inspired it!
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    Thanks to Kymme

    Nicest thing said of me:
    Quote Originally Posted by 'Able' Xanthis View Post
    This is what a properly motivated caster is like, people. Concussive explosions able to rip the front end of a hummer in twain and Chilling is using them to filter out those who don't make the cut. Those unworthy of his true magistic might.

  14. - Top - End - #224
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Blisstake's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    *As objects, atoms aren't subject to crits.

    *also, the spliting of single atoms wouldn't release much energy, anyway.
    Quote Originally Posted by Blisstake View Post
    *If I know something I'm attempting isn't possible, I am now required to tell my DM.
    (Also nat 20's still auto hit)
    Avatar by A Rainy Knight

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    Tarok and Kamo, level 6 half-orc ranger, bunyip-slayer, and all around badass.

    I like half-orcs

    Retired:

    Aldrin Cress, level 10 human sorcerer. Hero of Korvosa.
    Tireas Slate, level 4 tiefling ninja. Eternally scheming.

    DMing: Dragon's Demand

  15. - Top - End - #225
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Blisstake View Post
    *I may not continuously swing my sword at atoms until I roll a natural 20 and create a nuclear explosion.
    Well, of course not! Atoms come in swarms, so they're immune to weapon damage anyway.

    On the other hand...

    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    *also, the spliting of single atoms wouldn't release much energy, anyway.
    So, you'd also need Whirlwind Attack or Supreme Cleave. :D
    Last edited by Arbane; 2012-02-09 at 04:20 PM.
    Imagine if all real-world conversations were like internet D&D conversations...
    Protip: DnD is an incredibly social game played by some of the most socially inept people on the planet - Lev
    I read this somewhere and I stick to it: "I would rather play a bad system with my friends than a great system with nobody". - Trevlac
    Quote Originally Posted by Kelb_Panthera View Post
    That said, trolling is entirely counterproductive (yes, even when it's hilarious).

  16. - Top - End - #226
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Alabenson's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I am forbidden from playing a bard based on Roy Wood from Wizzard.
    *I am forbidden from playing any character based on Roy Wood from Wizzard.
    *I may no longer attempt to seduce Elder Evils.
    *Even if there is a chance I may succeed.
    *Especially if there is a chance I may succeed.
    If brute force isn't working, that just means you're not using enough of it.

    When in doubt, set something on fire. If not in doubt, set something on fire anyway.

    My Homebrew

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  17. - Top - End - #227
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Morcleon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I may not use the Stronghold Builder's Guide and the fact that enhancements are based off of size to create nigh-invincible starfighters for less than 100k.

    *I may not use the Ardent's Dominant Ideal to infinitely stack Empower Power.

    *I may not use Rope Trick and Transdimensional Spell to attack without chance of harm.

    *I may not play Spellblade Tennis with Transmute Mud to Lava to turn the world into Mustafar.

    *I may not build mythals for the purpose of granting myself infinate Wish, Miracle and/or Reality Revision.

    *I may not build mythals to get constant Timeless Body.

    *I may not build mythals period.
    Avatar of Furude Setsuna, by Telasi.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mephit View Post
    Don't worry, I like my characters the way I like my coffee: Strong, but with no cheese in it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Akagi
    Don't hesitate to tell the people you care about the feelings you have for them, because they may not be there tomorrow.

  18. - Top - End - #228
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Randomguy's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Metahuman1 View Post
    *Taming Bearthulu to be my mount is right out.
    *Am not even to consider training Bearthulu to ride a mouse into battle.


    *Warforged don't dream of metallic sheep.
    *Sheering metallic sheep doesn't get you steel wool.
    *Am not to make a fortune in the steel wool market by putting warforged to sleep.

    *Am not to play a crazy cat lady druid.

  19. - Top - End - #229
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Just wanted to include this thread in this game:

    *Cannot be Mao Zedong in a Robot Suit.
    Can't write. Can't plan. Can draw a little.
    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

  20. - Top - End - #230
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    Alabenson's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    Just wanted to include this thread in this game:

    *Cannot be Mao Zedong in a Robot Suit.
    *Cannont be Stalin, Lenin, or any other Communist leader in a Robot Suit either.
    If brute force isn't working, that just means you're not using enough of it.

    When in doubt, set something on fire. If not in doubt, set something on fire anyway.

    My Homebrew

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  21. - Top - End - #231
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    Forrestfire's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *Just because a rat swarm is technically a Tiny Animal, does not mean my halfling can be a lycanthrope of it.

  22. - Top - End - #232
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Sinfonian's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * There is no God of Bacon, even if his portfolio is delicious.
    *If there is such a deity, he is not to be described as Omn-nom-nipotent.
    Fair warning: I edit my posts fairly continuously, sometimes adding substantial amounts in the period immediately after I post originally. I blame grad school instilling a constant need to revise.

  23. - Top - End - #233
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Sinfonian View Post
    * There is no God of Bacon, even if his portfolio is delicious.
    *If there is such a deity, he is not to be described as Omn-nom-nipotent.
    *I would say that's because it's ceiling cat's domain, but frankly you can't worship him or his fellow lolgods either.
    Last edited by Doorhandle; 2012-02-10 at 07:19 PM.
    Can't write. Can't plan. Can draw a little.
    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

  24. - Top - End - #234
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * Even if the Summoner is both female and Small sized, she can't make her Eidolon a My Little Pony.
    ** ESPECIALLY not Pinkie Pie.
    Imagine if all real-world conversations were like internet D&D conversations...
    Protip: DnD is an incredibly social game played by some of the most socially inept people on the planet - Lev
    I read this somewhere and I stick to it: "I would rather play a bad system with my friends than a great system with nobody". - Trevlac
    Quote Originally Posted by Kelb_Panthera View Post
    That said, trolling is entirely counterproductive (yes, even when it's hilarious).

  25. - Top - End - #235
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I cannot threaten players making "arrow in the knee" jokes with an arrow to the knee.
    **Especially if I happen to have a 65 lb longbow and two dozen arrows on hand.
    *I´m forbidden from discovering periodic table of elements in The Last Airbender universe.
    **No, Avatar doesn´t have to master 118 styles of bending.
    **There is no such thing as plutonium bender.
    *If I am in a three-person party, I´m forbidden from introducing us as the good, the bad and the ugly.
    **If I do, I am to assume I´m automatically the ugly.
    That which does not kill you made a tactical error.

  26. - Top - End - #236
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Arbane View Post
    * Even if the Summoner is both female and Small sized, she can't make her Eidolon a My Little Pony.
    ** ESPECIALLY not Pinkie Pie.
    *No, a rainbow-colored pegasus does not give a 20% bonus on charisma based checks
    *No, not even in 2 rounds
    Warlock Poetry?
    Or ways to use me in game?
    Better grab a drink...

    Currently ruining Strahd's day - Avatar by the Outstanding Smuchsmuch

    First Ordained Jr. Tormlet by LoyalPaladin

  27. - Top - End - #237
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Sith_Happens's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I must remind the Storyteller of my fire-based contracts before she decides to incorporate vampires into the game.
    *I may not scare the pants off the Queen of Autumn.
    *(Irony) is not a legitimate Craft specialty, nor does is justify breaking the above rule.
    *Just because a contract's catch is trivially easy to fulfil does not mean I can keep spamming said contract until it works.
    **Especially not Fleeting Autumn 1.
    ***Especially not when the target is the Queen of Autumn.
    *If the Storyteller informs me of various rumors my character has heard about an important NPC, the intent is for me to be impressed by said rumors, not to exploit them until the NPC is question is eating out of my hand.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  28. - Top - End - #238
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Lonely Tylenol's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * Summon Monster II cannot be used to summon a Human Centipede, no matter how fiendish or monstrous it may be.
    Homebrew!
    5e: Expanded Inspiration Uses

    Spoiler: 3.5/P Stuff. Warning: OLD
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  29. - Top - End - #239
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    RogueGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * May not use epic magic to permasummon spellcasters just to make my rituals stronger.

    * May not colossal wild shape and dragon wild shape to turn into a great wyrm prismatic dragon at level 24. PS, no primal elementals at level 23 either.

    * May not use permanent skill boosting epic magic to buff spellcraft.

    * May not use epic magic to origin of species a rapidly breeding creature loyal only to me to take over the world.

    * May not play epic-level characters.

  30. - Top - End - #240
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * I may not allow this thread to drop off the first page.

    * Flamethrowers are weapons, not cooking supplies.
    Last edited by Sith_Happens; 2012-02-17 at 03:50 AM.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

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