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  1. - Top - End - #241
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Sith_Happens View Post
    * I may not allow this thread to drop off the first page.

    * Flamethrowers are weapons, not cooking supplies.
    *This also applies to katanas, ankle grinders, chainsaws, explosives, and small bears.
    *Cannot play Saxton HAAAAAAAAAAAALE!
    *Or Saxton whale.
    *And especially not Hatston Sale, even if it approximates valve's interests.
    * A wand of magic missile is not a missile launcher.
    *A wand of delayed blast fireball is not a Stickybomb launcher.
    *Cannot use staff mastery to dual-wield staves as a staff magus.
    * The hammer is not my paladin’s peinis.

    Meanwhile, in mouseguard:
    *If I am making a sailor mouse, hook, eyepatch and all, must actually have skills relevant to sailing.
    *Cannot lash together the bodies of fallen crewmembers to make a raft, boatcrafting or no.
    *If the G.M retroactively gives a character the ‘paranoid’ trait and the instinct ‘suspect EVERYONE,’ that is an indicator for the player to tone it down.
    *No longer allowed to talk if I have to go over my speech 3 times in order not so say too much.
    *If I am borrowing a ship, I am expected to bring it back in one piece, particularly if the captain owning it was a drinking buddy.
    *Not to tell a predator of our species if we can avoid it.
    * If we are like 5 seconds from being torn apart by zealous ferrets, not to let the injured party member squeak in pain.
    *If we haven’t been seen by the ferret isles for 1000 years, this dose not make us mythical figures, it makes us mythical lunch.
    Have a deviantart!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

  2. - Top - End - #242
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Lonely Tylenol's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * I may not equip six weapons in two hands if their names are "shortsword", "shortsword", "bo bortsword", "bananafana fo fortsword", "me mi mo mortsword", "shortsword".
    Homebrewiness!
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  3. - Top - End - #243
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    Sith_Happens's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    *This also applies to katanas, ankle grinders, chainsaws, explosives, and small bears.
    *Cannot play Saxton HAAAAAAAAAAAALE!
    *Or Saxton whale.
    *And especially not Hatston Sale, even if it approximates valve's interests.
    * Even if Saxton Hale does fight with his bare hands, and in a loincloth, a Vow of Poverty Monk is a poor representation of his abilities.
    * I may not introduce my character to the party by randomly bursting through a wall and yelling "Property damage!"
    ** If the party has been through enough weird stuff that they find this not-startling by comparison, I may not take offense.
    * The Druid is not a hippie.
    * I may not take Perform (One-liner) as an excuse to spout off poorly-adapted Saxtone Hale quotes at every opportunity.
    * The party Sorceress is inexplicably immune to my manly charms.
    * Even if it's what Saxton Hale would do, I may not confront every situation by recklessly charging head-on.
    ** Especially if that's what Saxton Hale would do.
    * Even if Saxton Hale would never, ever back away from a fight, I may still run from the stone giant barbarian who would have TPKed the party during his first appearance had he not been dealing nonlethal damage.
    ** If I choose not to run, I am not to complain when the rest of the party still does.
    ** I definitely may not then expect my character to survive the fight.

    ...In case you're wondering, a guy I know did in fact play Saxton Hale for his first ever D&D character. All of the above things actually happened.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  4. - Top - End - #244
    Titan in the Playground
     
    TuggyNE's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Lonely Tylenol View Post
    * I may not equip six weapons in two hands if their names are "shortsword", "shortsword", "bo bortsword", "bananafana fo fortsword", "me mi mo mortsword", "shortsword".
    WUT.

    I... I don't even.
    Quote Originally Posted by Water_Bear View Post
    That's RAW for you; 100% Rules-Legal, 110% silly.
    Quote Originally Posted by hamishspence View Post
    "Common sense" and "RAW" are not exactly on speaking terms
    Projects: Homebrew, Gentlemen's Agreement, DMPCs, Forbidden Knowledge safety, and Top Ten Worst. Also, Quotes and RACSD are good.

    Anyone knows blue is for sarcas'ing in · "Take 10 SAN damage from Dark Orchid" · Use of gray may indicate nitpicking · Green is sincerity

  5. - Top - End - #245
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Maquise's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *The Chief Librarian of my DIY Space Marine chapter is not named Crepusculum Mico.

    (Lets see how long it takes someone to get that)
    Quote Originally Posted by Stu42 View Post
    I used to like called shots. Then I took an arrow to the knee.
    Arvak Avatar by Dirtytabs

  6. - Top - End - #246
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    Beowulf DW's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I may not abuse the Craft skill to make a pressure washer.
    *I may not then get the Cleric to Bless the water in said pressure washer.
    *Under no circumstances am I to use this now holy pressure washer to approximate a holy water "flamethrower" to clear out the vampire lair.
    Avatar by the incomparable Herpestidae.

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickerdart View Post
    Fortunately, a Monk 1/Warblade 19 uses Iron Heart Surge to end the Monk character class, and the day is saved.

  7. - Top - End - #247
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    Metahuman1's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I may not have the Cleric cast plane shift, moving the entire encounter to the elemental plane of water, only to cast bless water.

    *Even if the things were fighting aren't hurt by holy water.
    "I Burn!"

  8. - Top - End - #248
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    Arbane's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Arbane View Post
    * Even if the Summoner is both female and Small sized, she can't make her Eidolon a My Little Pony.
    ** ESPECIALLY not Pinkie Pie.
    *** Pinkie Piedolon is not allowed to have the Swallow Whole mutation.
    **** If Pinkie Piedolon does have Swallow Whole, she is not retroactively the reason goblins are deathly afraid of horses.
    Imagine if all real-world conversations were like internet D&D conversations...
    Protip: DnD is an incredibly social game played by some of the most socially inept people on the planet - Lev

  9. - Top - End - #249
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Lea Plath's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *If we find an NPC, we are not allowed to stick them in a papoose and take them with us.
    *We are not allowed to use wolves as drug dealers
    *Or give them pimp hats

  10. - Top - End - #250
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Osiris_Shadowblade's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *It's considered to be in extremely bad taste to hide in the recently constructed funeral pyre during an ambush just because the ambient fire damage can't overcome my fire resistance.
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  11. - Top - End - #251
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ElfRogueGirl

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I am not allowed to watch MacGyver right before or during character creation
    *Especially not if my character has any craft skills.
    *Craft (Any) is not a valid craft skill.
    *This goes double if I plan on taking any class in any game that has a knowledge or technological orientation.

    *Same goes for Doctor Who
    *And Doc from back to the future
    *Double for any engineer from any star trek show ever, triple for Scotty.

    *You know what? If it has craft as a class skill I can't have it.
    *I'm still on probation when it comes to classes with knowledge skills on their class skill list.

  12. - Top - End - #252
    Troll in the Playground
     
    The-Mage-King's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *I may NOT play a dwarven artificer who's motto is "Enchantment?"
    Avatar by Ceika.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord_Gareth View Post
    The Next Round: Hundreds of the Guardians of Time show up and one of them screams out, "THIS IS AN UNSANCTIONED VIOLATION OF SPACE-TIME."

    Order the solars to attack and run like hell.
    Steam account. Add me to argue about philosophy whatever!
    Advertized Homebrew: Fire Emblem 4's Holy Blood as Bloodlines
    Extended Signature.
    Using a different color of text for sarcasm is so original.

  13. - Top - End - #253
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *May not diffuse a tense situation between the party and a tribe of lizardfolk with a 30 diplo roll.
    **Especially at 2nd level.
    ***Even if all you did was make it so you wouldn't have to give them your prisoners of an enemy tribe of lizardfolk.

    *Shouldn't be surprised when the town guard whom you turn the hostile lizardfolk over to decide to burn them alive.
    **Shouldn't be surprised later when said guards attack the friendly lizardfolk tribe just because you were rather vague when saying "don't attack our friends", ie. not telling the guards that said lizardfolk are the friends in question.
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 Internet(s) and 2 Win(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  14. - Top - End - #254
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    Chilingsworth's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * I may not act on my urges to kill the idiotic NPC's that killed my character's friends/allies.
    Thanks to Pesimismrocks for my awesome avatar, and Gaiyamato for the game that inspired it!
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    Quote Originally Posted by 'Able' Xanthis View Post
    This is what a properly motivated caster is like, people. Concussive explosions able to rip the front end of a hummer in twain and Chilling is using them to filter out those who don't make the cut. Those unworthy of his true magistic might.

  15. - Top - End - #255
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    Mystify's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * May not play an awakened zombie incarnate construct warforged ninja with the dread pirate prestige class
    * said character is not a ninja pirate robot zombie

  16. - Top - End - #256
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    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *While Legend is one of the few systems that could possibly run it, not to make a campaign based on "How To Kill A Mockingbird."
    *In the same vein, lightsaber gun-swords only exist in that flash movie.
    * Not to make a Gestalt ninja/druid.
    *Cannot literally make a character a murderhobo.
    Have a deviantart!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

  17. - Top - End - #257
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    Lea Plath's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *When looking to blow something up, I should not ask the GM will it burn aswell.

  18. - Top - End - #258
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    BlueKnightGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    *Cannot literally make a character a murderhobo.
    Homocidal Transients, my freind. The name should say it all

    * May not wield bags of holding as a melee weapon
    * Nor as a thrown weapon
    *The portable Hole Discus does not work
    * I am only allowed extradimesnional space to store inanimate objects
    * Turned of goldems do not count, nor do yet to be animated corpses

    * Bags of holding are not red and white plastic balls
    * If, in any way, I do encapture an enemy in a bag of holding, letting them out will not make them loyal to me and fight for me
    * Even with magic
    * My sorceror is not now, nor will he ever be, a pokemon master

    * Duct tape cannot be used to make new monsters on the fly in the middle of combat
    * No matter how hard I try
    love of mine, someday you will die,
    and I'll be close behind
    to follow you into the dark


    death cab for cutie - I will follow you into the dark

    Bleach D20 classes project - come, we wants all your brians!
    BleachD20 source book

  19. - Top - End - #259
    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    * I cannot force the Druid's animal companion to walk ahead of the party to set off traps.

    * Nor NPCs

    * Kidnapping children from the market for the purpose is right out.

  20. - Top - End - #260
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    boomwolf's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *A favored soul of the goddess of nature should not be investing in gnome technology so they would make this a grenade launcher.

    *said grenade launcher shooting "only" alchemical flasks does not improve the situation.

    *lunching alchemist fire at animals that -might- have been hostile in the forest is enough to make the goddess take away my magic.


    Quote Originally Posted by Cormag81 View Post
    2117: No matter how good a debater I am out of character there is no way to logically get out of falling after your paladin kills his patron god.

  21. - Top - End - #261
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    Lonely Tylenol's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by tuggyne View Post
    WUT.

    I... I don't even.
    Context!

    * I may not use "talking is a free action" to justify having elaborate, minutes-long negotiations with the enemy NPC during my round in the initiative without losing my move or standard.
    Homebrewiness!
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  22. - Top - End - #262
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    Arbane's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackestOfMages View Post
    * My sorceror is not now, nor will he ever be, a pokemon master
    Of course not! That's the Summoner's job.


    Quote Originally Posted by ClothedInVelvet View Post
    * I cannot force the Druid's animal companion to walk ahead of the party to set off traps.

    * Nor NPCs

    * Kidnapping children from the market for the purpose is right out.
    Well, duh. That's why mules only cost 8 GP!
    Imagine if all real-world conversations were like internet D&D conversations...
    Protip: DnD is an incredibly social game played by some of the most socially inept people on the planet - Lev

  23. - Top - End - #263
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ElfRogueGirl

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackestOfMages View Post
    * Duct tape cannot be used to make new monsters on the fly in the middle of combat
    * No matter how hard I try
    Obviously you need a paperclip and possibly a chewing gum to make that possible. For Large and above you may want to substitute "paperclip" with "coat hanger"

    *And there goes my necromancer rights too.

  24. - Top - End - #264
    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *No matter how powerful my archivist or factotum is, I may not build a sonic screwdriver and refer to myself as "the Doctor."

  25. - Top - End - #265
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by ClothedInVelvet View Post
    *No matter how powerful my archivist or factotum is, I may not build a sonic screwdriver and refer to myself as "the Doctor."
    **Even if I have ranks in profession (Doctor).

  26. - Top - End - #266
    Troll in the Playground
     
    jindra34's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Randomguy View Post
    **Even if I have ranks in profession (Doctor).
    Well duh. He has profession (The Doctor) and (Being Mysterious).
    avatar by Three Shades
    Official Founder of the Defenders of the Kitsune, Nekomata, Tengu, Tanookie and Mujina. Please leave the Real World at the door.

  27. - Top - End - #267
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    Beowulf DW's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *never again may I make a dual-wielding scimitar+kukri-using fighter
    *If I am scoring critical hits about once every two rounds, the DM is going to be very cross with me.
    *If I am able to use critical feats to make the BBEG blind, deaf and dumb all in the same round, the DM will go into that corner and cry until we get him a pizza.
    Avatar by the incomparable Herpestidae.

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickerdart View Post
    Fortunately, a Monk 1/Warblade 19 uses Iron Heart Surge to end the Monk character class, and the day is saved.

  28. - Top - End - #268
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf DW View Post
    *never again may I make a dual-wielding scimitar+kukri-using fighter
    *If I am scoring critical hits about once every two rounds, the DM is going to be very cross with me.
    *If I am able to use critical feats to make the BBEG blind, deaf and dumb all in the same round, the DM will go into that corner and cry until we get him a pizza.
    *If all our foes from now on have elemental body, ARE elementals or oozes, or are otherwise immume to crits, I can blame no-one but myself.
    Have a deviantart!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

  29. - Top - End - #269
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    blackjack217's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    *If I get fragged by the groups rogue I still have no one else to blame


    Countdown to the zombie Apocalypse: braaaaaaains.

  30. - Top - End - #270
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    Morithias's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero

    "If I am the only character who took profession (cooking) as a class skill, I am not allowed to slip potions of gender bending into the party's food."

    "I am going to turn them back to men, even if I think they look better as women."

    "If another PC is going to get romantically involved with my female PC at anytime I am to warn them in advance if she has been "experimenting" on her own body."

    "I am not allowed to play D&D for at least 1 week after downloading a new X-change game."

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