[Nexus] LORD MAGTOK'S BOOT CAMP FOR WANNABE SUPERVILLAINS

[happyturtle]

Registration Office

"One would think so," Salixtra agrees, putting away her phone. As Ashradovrasiss moves, the air carries Alan Miller's scent to her. She addresses Mr Stinky directly. "Excuse me, can you wait outside? Or go find the showers? Nobody wants to share your funk."

[Mindfreak]

Registration Office
Alan looks up at Salixtra.
"No ma'am, I'm afraid I cannot." he says leaving it at that.
Least he already has one of the rules to be evil down: Don't care about others.

[Lord Magtok]

Registration Office

After some time, the bored-looking Magbot picks its head up and away from the forms and documents and whatnot, stacks them all together in a neat little pile, and then holds them all up in the air, as if to pass it along to some invisible paper-delivery Magbot.

"The cadet paperwork, sir."

"Thank you, 68b-6345."

Wait, what? Was that Magtok's voice? When did he get here? Just a moment ago, there wasn't a single clone on the premises for miles, but now here he is, wearing a green beret, fatigues, and the most severe look on his face I've ever seen before. A telewarp portal seals itself closed behind him, and he skims through the paperwork swiftly, giving each form only the briefest of glances before moving onto the next. He does the same with the cadets, taking silent guesses as to which form goes with which wannabe villain.

"Cadets, fall in. It means to form up and come to attention, for those who haven't seen your war movies. Remember it now, you're going to be hearing it a lot these coming weeks."

Strange, Magtok's order is unusually soft and gentle, as casual as such a command could be. No shouting, no hollering, nothing save for that look of contempt on his face could possibly suggest any sort of consequence for simply ignoring him and resuming conversation with the other cadets. Also, there is, of course, the matter of those still engaging in shenanigans outside, or those who have yet to arrive, with neither paperwork nor ears that could hear Magtok from so far away, but they can be dealt with soon enough.

[VampireRot]

[Registration Office]

Devi, like a good little Magtern, stands at attention when Magtok enters through the teleportal. She grins slyly, no doubt amusing herself with some thought about how he's not actually wearing a dress for once. Though she'd never say such a thing out loud. Er, while a Magtok is listening.

Anyway, the strange thermomage falls in as per Magtoks instructions. Whatever that means. She's excited, though her red eyes are hidden behind a pair of sunglasses so it's hard to tell.

[blackouttwo]

It's right about this time Salixtra's phone goes off.

With a rather interesting ringtone.

((Godmod permission granted.))

[happyturtle]

Registration Office

Salixtra falls in as instructed, like a good cadet.

And then instead of being embarrassed and turning off her ringtone, she answers the phone, her sneer from before turning into a genuine smile, because it's her boyfriend Arthur calling.

"Hey, babe. I just got to uni. Whatcha doin?"

[OrchestraHc]

Dr. Titanium Hollywood Harrierjet (no, I will never get tired of typing that) look the card over. He then pulls out another he believes to be the same as the one he was given. The chimp turns away from the woman and put the two together as temporal sparks begin to fly from the contact. Yep, definitely the same ones.

When G.I. Mag enters the scene, he realizes he has a lot to do in a short amount of time. He yanks on his tie and with a PFOOF and a puff of smoke his head is covered by a ninja mask, though his sunglasses and the bulb on his helmet will go covered. Pulling out a business card- No, wait, he just fanned them out. He actually has multiple. He throws the business cards like a ninja and each one should fly towards it's intended recipient.

To the Sargeant Miller:

Dr. Titanium Hollywood Harrierjet

Soap is not your enemy.

To the other unnamed woman who just walked in (and hopefully interrupting her charge):

Dr. Titanium Hollywood Harrierjet

Causality officially owes me one.

To Phity Plat:

Dr. Titanium Hollywood Harrierjet

I have no beef with you, carry on.

And that should be that. As he falls in he'll yank on his tie and his ninja mask will be gone. In one final act he'll pull out one more card and offer it to Devi. He puts on his best smirk as he shows it to her.

Dr. Titanium Hollywood Harrierjet

Is your dad a carpenter? Because you have a nice rack.

[blackouttwo]

"Oh, the usual. Borderline Chernobyl disaster in the lab averted this morning. Trying to keep your dad from finding out."

There's the sound of loud electrical sparks in the background. This can be heard from the phone all throughout Willow's immediate vicinity. "Trying to keep the crazy old lady from finding out too, but you know how she gets."

There's a loud 'bang' as something in the background hits the floor. "How's uni? Making new friends?"

[Darklord Bright]

[Registration Office]

Starfish stands up to fall in with the others, still grinning. Leaning over to Salixtra's phone conversation without so much as a sidelong glance, she puts a hand to her mouth and utters a slightly muffled "Ooh, I love the way you do that." It's pretty obvious she is attempting to throw off either the caller or Salixtra herself. She doesn't even give her so much as a glance throughout this, either. How rude, saying suggestive things when someone is on the phone.

[Hyozo]

[registration-oh who cares Everybody is there at the moment]

'Ashradosvoriss' falls in immediately upon Magtok's order, standing silently at attention. Best to make a good first impression on such an occasion as this, at least for now.

[usourselves&we]

Registration Office

The woman in designer clothes, that will shortly be known as Berserker, falls in line with the others. A small smile crosses her face as she hears what is happening

Just outside

Out here Berserker is wearing standard Biker-gear and holding a sharp piece of twisted metal . . . and yeah she is still charging guy that 'almost killed her' with his ‘stunt’. And then a business card flies by her eyes, quickly plucking it from the air she stops to see where it came from, seeing Doc and a version of herself (who just winks at her) a little more enraged but apparently content to let the fight wait “You have five hours to live worm.” She vanishes, probably to five hours from now.

[Halae]

[Registration Office]

Ozy indeed falls in, taking a moment to eye Salixtra before turning his attention back to Magtok. The whole while, he still has that grin on his face, and it shows no signs of letting up.

[UncleWolf]

Registration Office

Plat is about to say something else to Willow, probably something about how he'd like to be beneath her (or vice versa), but stops when Magtok arrives. Recognizing the man as one of the Judges from his competition in BDD, he scowls and goes to line up where indicated, looking at him.

Pat arrives through the same portal as Magtok, using a hand to catch her skirt to keep it from being lopped off by the portal closing. For those who don't know, Pat is an Ant-Woman. She's using her modified Humanoid body, made mostly for physical appeal, but still useful. Her skin is a deep gray, almost black, but lacking the chitinous plates that would be expected of it. She's about 5'6" tall with long legs and slender arms. Her face is nearly human, with soft features and a beautiful smile. Of course, that's if you ignore the small pair of pincer-mandibles set along her jaw, the pair of short antennae and the multifaceted eyes that reside within her head. Other than that, she has absolutely no hair, and even lacks ears.

Her clothing is obviously of highest quality silk. From the long white stockings that reach up her legs, to the tasteful plum skirt and blouse she's wearing. Those that pay special attention will see the hint of a garter belt just under the skirt. Oddly enough, unlike her usual apparel, she's wearing heels that had to be made specifically for her feet.

She peeks over the rim of the glasses she's wearing for effect and scans over all the recruits as she writes something on a clipboard. She clicks her pen and sticks it on the collar of her blouse before the smile drops from her face, waiting for Magtok to continue.

[happyturtle]

Registration Office

"I can always phone dad if you need a diversion, but Mei Li always finds out.... Let's just say I'm meeting some very distinctive people..." Salixtra says, with an eyeroll. Then Starfish interrupts.

"Excuse me. Riff-raff." Salixtra turns away from the intruder, and then casually brings up her arm so that the back of her fist smacks Starfish in the face - or at least that's the intention. She's an ordinary human who has had a few martial arts classes. The punch could possibly break a nose, assuming it hits in exactly the right way, and assuming a nose no tougher than a normal human nose, but it's not the most likely outcome.

[Darklord Bright]

[Registration Office]

Starfish, being not entirely focused on the woman she's heckling, barely manages to have her reflexes kick in fast enough to divert the blow to her cheek instead of squarely into her face. She reels off balance for a moment, looking surprised!

Then the grin reappears again as she rebalances herself.

"Temper, temper." she chides.

[blackouttwo]

"Well, if she always finds out, not much point to trying to hide it from her." Arthur sighs on the other end. "I'll...I dunno, clean up here." There's another dull 'bang' as something else, probably hollow, lands on the floor. "...Hmm...maybe if I shift design scheme...Talk to you later, babe, I gotta go."

There's a 'click' as Arthur hangs up.

[happyturtle]

Registration Office

"See you this weekend." Salixtra says cheerfully. Dropping the phone back in her designer handbag, she turns her attention back to Magtok and Pat.

[Mindfreak]

Registration Office
As soon as Magtok had entered the room, Sergeant Alan Miller had stood immediately to attention.
And then he fell in.
Gun at the ready, he awaits orders.
However, he's so fixated on Magtok that the business card thrown at him bounces off.
And then flits down to the ground.

[Lord Magtok]

Registration Office

Magtok strides over to Phity-Plat, his hands tucked behind his back as he does so.

"Our resident rap warrior and dance-fighter, I presume? Color me impressed. Figured you were no more ambitious than the common gutter snake, and half as bright. Most elves are."

He reaches out from behind his back, revealing a textbook, which he attempts to hand over to Phity. The Comprehensive Villain-ization And Stuff Handbook, by Lord Magtok. Simple purple cover, the title in bold, and no particularly interesting pictures on the first few pages. All in all a rather drab tome, where Mag's usual wacky nonsense and shenanigans seems oddly absent.

He moves on to 'Salixtra', and hands over the same book. Devi, Starfish, Ashradosvoriss, Dr. Titanium Hollywood Harrier Jet, Ozzy, Inyu's Motorcycle Guy, and Berserker, too. They all get the same speech.

"Arrogance, pride, confidence, hubris. The lot of you have got it in spades. Not necessarily a bad thing, but when you're in my camp, your safety net is as good as gone, kids. Daddy's money can only protect you from so much, your stupid idiot business cards will only impress so many, and an entrance is only good as that which follows it. I will poke holes in the defenses you have been led to believe are entirely air-tight, and when I do, I expect everyone else to leap upon those vulnerabilities like the wretched pack of vultures that you are. Which brings me to my next point-"

He finally gets to poor Sgt. Alan Miller, who gets his book last. As soon as the book leaves Magtok's hands, he tries to grab the soldier by both arms, and ram his knee right into that unlucky wretch's crotch. He doesn't stop there, either. In a flash, he tries to kick the man's gun away to the floor, and press a shiny pale blue-ish revolver right up against the bottom of that unfortunate soul's chin.

"MILLER! IN MY ACADEMY WE TRAIN VILLAINS! VILLAINS! PRESENTATION IS ALMOST EVERY GODDAMN THING! IF I EVER SEE YOU LOOKING HALF THIS DISGUSTING EVER AGAIN I WILL PUT A FUDGING BULLET IN YOUR HEAD! I HAVE HALF A MIND RIGHT NOW, RIGHT GODDAMN NOW, TO DO EXACTLY THAT, AND MAKE AN EXAMPLE OF YOU TO THE OTHER CADETS!

GIVE ME ONE REASON, ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULDN'T SHOOT OFF YOUR FACE, SPIT DOWN YOUR THROAT, AND USE YOUR BLOOD TO CREATE AN ARMY OF CLONES TO SERVE AS TARGET PRACTICE FOR THE LESS SLOVENLY CADETS! ONE REASON NOT TO DROP YOU SHIRTLESS INTO A PIT OF HUNGRY NIPPLE-SNAKES AND OPEN A BETTING POOL ON WHICH ONE CARVES ITS WAY INTO YOUR CHEST FIRST!"

[InyutheBeatIs]

((Huh...that was a rather underwhelming reaction to the gigantic explosion.))

CD was stammering in response to Berserker's ranting about him and his stunt. The instant Salixtra mentioned something about laboratory equipment, yet another sound of an explosion is heard. They may also hear some other voice, one that is currently taking Berserker's place in the "yell at CD" position. This voice sounds deeper, more growl-y than any of the others.

"DAMMIT MONTANA! Why did you do that?!"

"I know, man, I know! I didn't intend to do- awww man, they broke again."

"Of course not! You idio-...nevermind! Get in there right now! They're forming up!"

"Okay, okay! Sheesh!"

When Berserker leaves, CD follows suit.

Everyone will see what looks to be a young man in slightly garish street clothing. Except for his feet, strangely. He appears to just be wearing socks for some odd reason. His bright purple, bug-eye shaped goggles clash with his blue-highlighted blonde hair. Over his shoulder is what appears to be a purple and yellow ball of ethereal lightning in the shape of a panther's face, possessing a look of long suffering.

As they file in, CD gives a sheepish look to everyone, and a small wave. "Um, hi guys. Uh, is anyone gonna go clean up out there? I think I saw some fire heading this way...normally when this sorta thing happens, there's, like, guys in yellow suits that take care of thi-"

"Monty, shut up." Says the ball of lightning.

"Okay, fine."

[Darklord Bright]

[Registration Office]

Starfish's grin is replaced by a look of surprise once again, this time at this display from Magtok. It's not every day a scrawny bald cyborg manages to be intimidating, let alone this scrawny bald cyborg. It's kind of impressive, really.

The alien will just stand back and watch the display. Maybe this whole thing will be more fun than she thought!

[happyturtle]

Registration Office

Salixtra is about to ask if this is available in ebook form, when suddenly Magtok goes all drill sergeant.

And she decides it's a good idea to be quiet, both for her own safety, and because she also wants Mr Stinky to take a damn shower.

[usourselves&we]

Registration Office

Berserker would have started to thumb through the book (by which is meant read it at high speeds), but already did just that when one of her elders presented her with it a moment ago in the relative past.

And it would be disrespectful to do that at the moment anyway, what with a beat down happening and all. She will stand at attention watching the events unfold in her peripheral vision.

[Mindfreak]

Recruitment Office
Odd...the man doesn't react to being kicked in the crotch...
As for the rifle being kicked away, that doesn't work out too well, as its strap is around Alan's shoulder.
And when the revolver is pressed underneath his chin he doesn't really freak out either.
"Because then you won't get the money I'm using to pay for this, sir?"
"But if that's not a good enough reason, then go ahead and shoot me, sir."

[Halae]

[Registration Office]

Ozzy nods. The man was tough, that was for sure, but he still was lacking any sort of presentation. Magtok had made clear that was the biggest thing, so what exactly was he doing here? talking quietly, saying "Sir". It didn't really add up to supervillain.

[OrchestraHc]

Registration Office

My, my, my. The doc certainly wasn't expecting those kind of cajones on the soldier. He expected the dirty man to come pre-broken in. He's also betting Half Metal Jackass won't do it.

Having nothing more pressing to do at the moment, he'll begin speed reading through the first chapter of the book he was given.

[InyutheBeatIs]

CD was pretty impressed at the display from the soldier. The other guy kinda made him twitch a bit, but that wasn't the most pressing matter. The most pressing matter was that the soldier said something about paying something. As in, money.

"W-wait a minute, I have to pay to be here?"

The ball of lightning near his shoulder...face-claw-palms? Yeah, let's go with that. It face-claw-palms in response to CD's moment of stupidity. "Ugh...you didn't read the flyer, did you?" It says through what sounds like gritted teeth.

CD turns his head to face the ball of lightning. "I kinda did! I just saw the words "Villain Boot Camp", hopped into the nearest vehicle I could find and headed straight here. I didn't know I had to payfor this!"

"That's generally how this sort of thing works, Monty. How do you think they could afford this otherwise?"

CD suddenly grows a little bit pale, as he starts to wonder just how he's going to pay for all of this, and more importantly, what else is he going to have to pay for.

[VampireRot]

[Registration Office]

Devi gets a card! She stares at it dumbly for a few seconds, before raising her sunglasses with one hand and peering closely at it with her red eyes. It looks like she's having trouble reading it, for some reason.

She might have been able to do it, had not Magtok started the drill sergeant routine. She puts her sunglasses back into place and takes the book with interest. It doesn't look nearly flashy enough, but books really don't have to be. She also listens to Magtok's speech with interest. Devi doesn't pay attention to the safety net thing, believing that since he didn't single her out, she actually has the safety net of being his employee/intern.

Devi looks pretty surprised when he starts the yelling. The Magtern wasn't expecting that, and resolves not to get on Magtok's bad side, in the boot camp at least. She also shoots the chatty man and lightning what would probably be a dirty look if it wasn't, again, covered by her sunglasses. Devi thinks they're talking too much!

[Lord Magtok]

Recruitment Office

"You really are no fun at all, aren't you?"

The cyborg keeps the gun against Miller's head for the longest time, before finally lowering the sidearm, and tucking it away with a disgusted sigh. He just barely manages to squelch the desire to give that soldier one last parting gift, a slap across the face with his gun. He figures that the zombie-man would barely even register the blow anyway.

"I'll save your execution for some other offense you'll undoubtedly be committing later on. Don't much feel like getting plastered with skull fragments right now."

There's not much to the first chapter. It's a rather simple overview of villainy as a whole, going over the central tenets and whatnot. Examples are provided, a strangely large number of which seem to come from Disney films. Darth Vader, Ernst Blofeld, Sauron, and a number of others are described as well, with each placed into a variety of categories, depending on goals, methods, themes, and resources.

"Now, while I'm certain you all already know who I am, seeing as you came all the way here and have most likely have spent more than five minutes in the Nexus, there are good odds you might not quite be familiar with Pat yet."

He turns slightly, gesturing towards the Ant-Woman who followed in after him.

"She's MagCorp's leading biotech expert, among other things, and the first of the Assistant Educators we'll have here. You're to respect her as you would me, as she's just as capable of making the rest of your time here a living hell if you don't. We'll likely acquire a few more educators over time, so keep an eye out for when we do so. Now, with all of that out of the way, it's time for a tour of the campus. Single-file line behind me, if you will."

Magtok heads out the door, waiting for the other to follow. He figures that with Devi in the crowd, he doesn't really need to go into any further details. The smelly thermometer witch is bound to gossip to everyone all about his less-than-entirely-professional relationship with Pat as soon as his back is turned. Besides, any attempt at declaring her off-limits to the cadets would just be seen as a challenge.

[Halae]

[Recruitment Office]

Ozzy's eyebrows go up but the grin doesn't leave his face when Magtok mentions "Among other things". Seems the dragon boy has already figured it out for himself as he moves into line

He'll attempt to whisper to Magtok, "Nice lady, boss dude. She's hawt."