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  1. - Top - End - #901
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    TMI

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    My medications makes it difficult for me to climax. I can still enjoy sex.
    Damn, I am getting a blood test at wednesday to see if if we should try medication to get my attention problems under control. Now I have to look side effects of ADD medications...
    We are not standing on the shoulders of giants, but on very tall tower of other dwarves.

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  2. - Top - End - #902
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    smile Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by Triscuitable View Post
    What the hell is wrong with some people these days?
    Cultures are clashing in war, hatred and ignorance come face-to-face with idealism and expectations, priviledge still reigns supreme to empathy, the media perpetuates ideas that risk trivialised murder and reality television is on the rise. It almost looks like every step up is followed by an avalance back to the mountain's root.

    But, while the world is a gloomy and dark place, we are still moving forward. Slavery is disappearing, voting rights are more equal than ever and freethinking is growing in the public eye. So no matter how cruel and miserable the world can look, it does not have to be hopeless.

    ... Wow, sorry for suddently getting that dark. I seem to be quite poor at being cheery when comparing pros and cons. ._.

    I will just leave my image of Queerkitty here and stop before I end up depressing myself. ^_^'
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    Quote Originally Posted by SiuiS View Post

    At first, it was the smiley faces and the mannerisms. Then, it was the infernal magpie. It struck a chord. A cutely fiendish, macabre chord.

    An then I saw Keveak in the sorting hat and you are just the cutest thing when you want to be. My gosh look at that. It's squee-inducing.

  3. - Top - End - #903
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Trust me, that was the tip of the iceberg.

    16 years old, upper middle class lifestyle, hormones, leniant parents and the school suddenly going from single sex to mixed. Those were a...fun few years...
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    Leaves your head in a whirl
    She can swing from a web
    And then she will bite your leg
    Watch out, it's Lea The Spider Girl

  4. - Top - End - #904
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by H Birchgrove View Post
    How You Know You're An Ally:

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    ¤ One of the reasons you don’t go to the doctor to check up your depression is that your friends have it worse, so you think your depression can’t be that bad. However, when voiceing that, your friends tell you that your depression is still an issue, and you get courage to seek professional help.
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    I don't understand this one. Is it the guilt that you've got it too good to dare ask for better that makes you an ally?

    Quote Originally Posted by H Birchgrove View Post
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    ¤ You’re considering to make peace with a trans activist you’ve fallen out with, and plan to send a message about “burying the hatchet”. Then you realise that the cliché phrase might be offensive to Native Americans/First Nations. Even if you consider making a convulated explanation about Vikings having lived in North America as a Native American tribe.
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    This is completely tangential, but "burying the hatchet" is one of those phrases, like "tar baby," that sounds racist but isn't. "Indian giver" would've been a better example. I cringe every time I hear that. And if the Viking are Native Americans, so are the Quakers.
    ... I came to appreciate that mountains make poor receptacles for dreams.

  5. - Top - End - #905
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by The Succubus View Post
    As a slight aside and I hope I'm not offending anyone by asking this but do trans folks get to lose their virginity twice?
    I guess so?

    Quote Originally Posted by noparlpf View Post
    Overtired people amuse me. Last night I watched a friend procrastinating/dreaming out loud.
    I love being overtired. It's WAY more fun than being tired or awake.
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  6. - Top - End - #906
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Tired and high on choclate. Very entertaining.

    So my friends told me.
    We are not standing on the shoulders of giants, but on very tall tower of other dwarves.

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  7. - Top - End - #907
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    @Asta TMI
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    I'm hoping when I manage to get off all my medicine I'll have better sexytimes. That would include the Pill, though, so it'll have to be when it wouldn't mess things up if I had accident!baby. (I would still be careful, but condoms plus charting ovulation isn't quite as reliable. Plus I bet I'd mess up charting ovulation!)


    Quote Originally Posted by Trilby View Post
    Yeah, sex, the media and the young minds are...a bit messed up.

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    I had to put up with a guy in my class fingering a heart and saying it felt like a girl.
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    Weeeeeird. I mean, I suppose flesh is flesh, but ... it'd be cold.


    Quote Originally Posted by Serpentine View Post
    That's nothin'. In my school biology class where we dissected rats, one girl took some intestines and wore them as a necklace
    (also the inside of sheeps' eyes is quite pretty)
    Also weeeeeird. That's at the very least unhygienic.

    That said, I did love dissections. I didn't think sheep had pretty eye-insides, but I did like finding out the different textures. I found a little vein in the heart that my teacher wasn't able to! I was sad when I had to choose which sciences to do; Physics and Chemistry won, but I missed the dissections in Biology.

    Quote Originally Posted by Keveak View Post
    I will just leave my image of Queerkitty here and stop before I end up depressing myself. ^_^'
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    AWWWWW!!!!

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  8. - Top - End - #908
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by H Birchgrove View Post
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    ¤ One of the reasons you don’t go to the doctor to check up your depression is that your friends have it worse, so you think your depression can’t be that bad. However, when voiceing that, your friends tell you that your depression is still an issue, and you get courage to seek professional help.
    In complete honesty, that's not being an ally, that's just neglecting your own health for wrong reasons.
    If you don't think your friends have it worse than you, you'll have little trouble finding someone else you think does.
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    ¤ Your wish fulfillment Author Avatar/Marty Stu is a friend and/or lover to several characters belonging to minority groups, and your character is making what hir can do to not be offensive to them, but some times slips up. Since it’s wish fulfillment, the friends and lovers are patient and forgives hir.
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    That's a weird sort of wish-fulfillment fantasy there
    On the other hand, I guess it's your fantasy, and the point of a fantasy is that it's personal and rarely rational. *shrugs*
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  9. - Top - End - #909
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Man, I've dissected SO many animals...

    ...

    Some of which may have been queer of some sort? <.<

  10. - Top - End - #910
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by KenderWizard View Post
    @Asta TMI
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    I'm hoping when I manage to get off all my medicine I'll have better sexytimes. That would include the Pill, though, so it'll have to be when it wouldn't mess things up if I had accident!baby. (I would still be careful, but condoms plus charting ovulation isn't quite as reliable. Plus I bet I'd mess up charting ovulation!)
    Well there are dozens of different (not just pills) types of birth control that could work better for you. A couple of my female friends swear by the injection one (once every 3 months, hard to mess that one up) and say there are very little side effects compared to the pill.
    "Elephant trunks should be used for elephant things only. Nothing else."

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  11. - Top - End - #911
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by Serpentine View Post
    Man, I've dissected SO many animals...

    ...

    Some of which may have been queer of some sort? <.<
    WeLL, SomE oF us WIlL Be FOrCEd tO pUT aWAy MOrALs IN tHe NamE oF SCIencE.

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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by Musashi View Post
    In complete honesty, that's not being an ally, that's just neglecting your own health for wrong reasons.
    If you don't think your friends have it worse than you, you'll have little trouble finding someone else you think does.
    Feelings of guilt because you think you should not complain because you don't have problems observable by outsiders are normal. Or rather say, common.

    It's feeling that all you really need to do is pulling yourself together and the problems are gone, as there are no outside factors that would hold you back. Complaining that you need help even though there seems nothing wrong with you would make you look whiny and disrespectful about people with actual problems. It's like you're just too lazy to solve your problems and want someone else to do it for you instead.

    Been there, like lots of other people.
    But that's not how it works and any specialist you might see about it understands that. They won't tell you that you're fine and are just wasting their time. If you feel bad about your situation and it does not go away, you have something, even if it's completely irrational. And most often it can be treated, but it's not a matter of willpower. It needs treatment.
    We are not standing on the shoulders of giants, but on very tall tower of other dwarves.

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  13. - Top - End - #913
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by Triscuitable View Post
    WeLL, SomE oF us WIlL Be FOrCEd tO pUT aWAy MOrALs IN tHe NamE oF SCIencE.

    YoU MOnsTEr.
    honk

    HONK

    ;o)

    ~

  14. - Top - End - #914
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by Astrella View Post
    I'm not following anymore. >.>
    Well, the conversation went something like... (TMI)
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    Amanda: 'But how do you know you're bi if you're a virgin?'

    Me: '... Why wouldn't I be able to tell?'

    Her: 'But, you can't know you like guys until you've been with one...'

    I ended up having to ask if a certain act 'qualified' one to be gay (or, in this case, bi)... And, well;

    Me: "...I can kinda do that by myself... >.>"

    She freaked out pretty hilariously at that point. It was also the last time she challenged me about it.


    So, yeah... Pretty much depends on how important someone else is.


    Quote Originally Posted by Trilby View Post
    Yeah, sex, the media and the young minds are...a bit messed up.

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    I had to put up with a guy in my class fingering a heart and saying it felt like a girl.
    x.@ Everything about that is seriously messed up. *Hugs*

    Quote Originally Posted by Triscuitable View Post
    WeLL, SomE oF us WIlL Be FOrCEd tO pUT aWAy MOrALs IN tHe NamE oF SCIencE.

    YoU MOnsTEr.
    BIOLOGICAL LIFE IS MERELY RAW MATERIAL TO BE HARVESTED FOR THE COLLECTIVE. *_*
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  15. - Top - End - #915
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by Arachu View Post
    Well, the conversation went something like... (TMI)
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    Amanda: 'But how do you know you're bi if you're a virgin?'

    Me: '... Why wouldn't I be able to tell?'

    Her: 'But, you can't know you like guys until you've been with one...'

    I ended up having to ask if a certain act 'qualified' one to be gay (or, in this case, bi)... And, well;

    Me: "...I can kinda do that by myself... >.>"

    She freaked out pretty hilariously at that point. It was also the last time she challenged me about it.


    So, yeah... Pretty much depends on how important someone else is.
    Ah, gotcha.
    (Your sister thinks only gay folks do that? That's seems very naive. Also, pegging~)

    I need to be careful because I can get very talky about sexytimes despite having never done them. I just like reading about stuff. >.>
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  16. - Top - End - #916
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    I even dissected a protected species, and ate another one :3

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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    That's kind of an odd thing about me. I feel very comfortable about the subject of sex and my own sexuality.
    But I pretty much never talk about it to anyone. I feel like I don't know where the socially agreed border between kinky and pervert is, so I usually stick to "no comment" to every question. And yes, when then the fact comes up that you've never been in a sexual relationship, you're just a creepy pervert. I think of it as "not starting a relationship for purely sexual reasons" and there's nothing wrong for not having found the right person at my age. But in a world that makes 19 year old virgins appear as slightly messed up, I am not comfortable about discussing that subject.
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  18. - Top - End - #918
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by Yora View Post
    That's kind of an odd thing about me. I feel very comfortable about the subject of sex and my own sexuality.
    But I pretty much never talk about it to anyone. I feel like I don't know where the socially agreed border between kinky and pervert is, so I usually stick to "no comment" to every question. And yes, when then the fact comes up that you've never been in a sexual relationship, you're just a creepy pervert. I think of it as "not starting a relationship for purely sexual reasons" and there's nothing wrong for not having found the right person at my age. But in a world that makes 19 year old virgins appear as slightly messed up, I am not comfortable about discussing that subject.
    Yeah... A lot of societal attitudes seems really focused on keeping people ignorant on matters sex. Guess it's just one way of keeping people quiet...

    I'm not really wanting to have sexytimes with people who I'm not out to anyway. (out to about being a girl I mean.) And even then, I wouldn't really want to before I've at least started HRT... >.>
    Last edited by Astrella; 2012-04-02 at 05:10 PM.
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  19. - Top - End - #919
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    I like talking about sex but it makes me blush and sometimes people *cough*Asstrella*cough* tease me ~///~

    But I like teasing so it's fun :D

    ~

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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by Yora View Post
    Feelings of guilt because you think you should not complain because you don't have problems observable by outsiders are normal. Or rather say, common.

    It's feeling that all you really need to do is pulling yourself together and the problems are gone, as there are no outside factors that would hold you back. Complaining that you need help even though there seems nothing wrong with you would make you look whiny and disrespectful about people with actual problems. It's like you're just too lazy to solve your problems and want someone else to do it for you instead.

    Been there, like lots of other people.
    But that's not how it works and any specialist you might see about it understands that. They won't tell you that you're fine and are just wasting their time. If you feel bad about your situation and it does not go away, you have something, even if it's completely irrational. And most often it can be treated, but it's not a matter of willpower. It needs treatment.
    Trust me, I've been there as well.
    Comparing one's suffering to another person's is only a demonstration of pity, or sympathy at best, though. It still doesn't make one an ally of the cause. My mother constantly undermines her own pain or problems, sometimes mentioning kids starving in Africa, but that doesn't make her non-racist. (She's the ignorant kind of racist, not the hateful kind.)
    Quote Originally Posted by Yora View Post
    But in a world that makes 19 year old virgins appear as slightly messed up, I am not comfortable about discussing that subject.
    Ah, that stereotype that seriously made me think I was a freak, or that I wouldn't find anyone who would respect my lack of libido.
    I still don't like talking about my own sexuality either. Heck, just mentioning I do have one (being demisexual and not strictly asexual) is a weird thing for me.
    Otherwise, I don't speak about it because I think it's a very private and intimate thing. It's like bodily fluids, personal fantasies, fears and weaknesses. Now, I admit it's not a healthy attitude for everybody; I'm just quite the prude. I know and promote sexual liberty, but I'm just not practicing it myself, for reasons that I ignore. I feel just fine not sharing that part of my life, so why should I fight against it?
    Quote Originally Posted by on Dwarf Fortress succession games
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  21. - Top - End - #921
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Okay, that's an aditional layer of complication.

    Here's one thing that I often notice in american media: Characters make a huge fuss about saying they love each other, even after being boyfriend and girlfriend for weeks or months. It's treated as almost the same thing as proposing marriage. Is that just for drama or really how things are in America?
    I know about a study done in World War 2 with american soldiers and British women to find out why there are some complications when the two met. Turned out that the american soldiers asking for a kiss regarded it as one of the very first steps to signal their affection. The british women treated a kiss as signaling that the relationship has reached the stage where it will get to sex very soon. As a result the americans were regarded as extremely pushy, because they want to go streight to sex. The british women were regarded as extremely easy to get, because once you got them to kiss you, they immediately wanted to take you to bed.

    So it might be that the american phrase "I love you" means something entirely different then the german phrase "Ich liebe dich". As said, I am not an expert on typical German relationships, but my assumtption always was that "Ich liebe dich" signals that you have passed from the stage of interest to the stage where you are really serious about it and have the intention to start the first steps to a long-term relationship. Obviously that doesn't apply to people who have sex just for fun, but I would consider that the "conservative" course of action for people who only have sex as part of commited relationships. In such a relationship, even kissing before saying "I love you" seems highly inappropriate to me. Or you have to say it immediately after.

    Thoughts?
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    I don´t really get why people get so hung up about sex. I mean it's fun to do but it's not something sacred or magical or deviant or you get my point. It's just sex and two or more people should not be any more shy or afraid of discussing it than anything else you do with your body.

    What is even worse is when you have to drag out of someone you are either already in bed with or have slept with with what they do or don't like. I'm not a bloody mind reader. Sure body language and all that jazz but that only goes so far.
    "Elephant trunks should be used for elephant things only. Nothing else."

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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by pffh View Post
    It's just sex and two or more people should not be any more shy or afraid of discussing it than anything else you do with your body.
    Hah! Here's the thing! I don't really discuss whatever else I do with my body. I don't even like showing my legs. At least, that makes the stance on my sexuality coherent with the one on my body.
    Quote Originally Posted by on Dwarf Fortress succession games
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by Yora View Post
    Here's one thing that I often notice in american media: Characters make a huge fuss about saying they love each other, even after being boyfriend and girlfriend for weeks or months. It's treated as almost the same thing as proposing marriage. Is that just for drama or really how things are in America?
    ...
    So it might be that the american phrase "I love you" means something entirely different then the german phrase "Ich liebe dich". As said, I am not an expert on typical German relationships, but my assumtption always was that "Ich liebe dich" signals that you have passed from the stage of interest to the stage where you are really serious about it and have the intention to start the first steps to a long-term relationship. ... In such a relationship, even kissing before saying "I love you" seems highly inappropriate to me. Or you have to say it immediately after.
    You make the "American" style sound very similar to the "German" one, to me
    I've only ever been in love with one person. And yeah, it was a pretty big deal when I told him I loved him. It even carried over into other aspects of my life - before then, I didn't really tell anyone that I loved them. When the topic of love came up with my then-boyfriend (yeah, we had a full-blown discussion on the matter), he was shocked and saddened: he told his family and even his friends that he loved them all the time. He sort of "convinced" me to tell my family (and very, very rarely, my friends) that I love them frequently, and that's carried over even though we've long since split up. I'm still funny about it in the Relationship context, though...

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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by Astrella View Post
    Ah, gotcha.
    (Your sister thinks only gay folks do that? That's seems very naive. Also, pegging~)

    I need to be careful because I can get very talky about sexytimes despite having never done them. I just like reading about stuff. >.>
    Oh, that wasn't my sister - Amanda was a friend of mine in high school. We actually had a bit of a crush on each other, but I was too... Well, too much the way I was in high school to talk much about it. We constantly joked about that sort of thing, though (unless she thought I'd explain that response - she usually hit me in advance to make sure I wouldn't ).

    I'm not certain whether she knew about that(~ ) or not, but I figured it was probably a good angle to approach from - she did stop arguing with me.

    I should probably slow down too - I'm a total perv once I get started talking about things.


    Quote Originally Posted by Qaera View Post
    I like talking about sex but it makes me blush and sometimes people *cough*Asstrella*cough* tease me ~///~

    But I like teasing so it's fun :D

    ~
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by Serpentine View Post
    I even dissected a protected species, and ate another one :3
    Eating a Manatee is not okay. Even if it was wearing a condom.

    I think the L word (not lesibans) is a bit of a thorny issue, generally seen (particularly now, when sexual intimacy is more common) as another relationship step-up. You care about a person, they make you happy, etc etc. But it's also a phrase that is both over- and under-used, in a sort of bizzare case of situational linguistic irony. People saying it after a couple of weeks or months are generally seen as saying it too quickly, where others still won't use it having moved in together etc etc. It's an odd thing, and I think partially down to personal view, though I imagine the media approach to it being quite so important is probably a contributing factor.

    And on Serp's point - I tell my freinds and family that I love them quite a lot, but not ever really done it to a boyfreind. Then again, current sample of those is just the one, and it's new. Definitely smitten, though. It appears that I'm not actually some sort of gay robot and have emotions after all. Damn.
    Everything I say is 100% TRUTH*
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by Lyesmith View Post
    Eating a Manatee is not okay. Even if it was wearing a condom.
    You sir, are a master of alternative word interpretation.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lyesmith View Post
    I think the L word (not lesibans) is a bit of a thorny issue,
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by Serpentine View Post
    You make the "American" style sound very similar to the "German" one, to me
    I've only ever been in love with one person. And yeah, it was a pretty big deal when I told him I loved him. It even carried over into other aspects of my life - before then, I didn't really tell anyone that I loved them. When the topic of love came up with my then-boyfriend (yeah, we had a full-blown discussion on the matter), he was shocked and saddened: he told his family and even his friends that he loved them all the time. He sort of "convinced" me to tell my family (and very, very rarely, my friends) that I love them frequently, and that's carried over even though we've long since split up. I'm still funny about it in the Relationship context, though...
    I find the "L" word hard to say as well. I don't think I've ever used it with my family because truthfully, I get embarassed and feel horribly vunerable when I do use it. I remember once in junior school when I was about 6 or 7, there was a girl that I sent a couple of really badly drawn cards saying "I love you". Needless to say I was mocked pitilessly for doing so and that put me off saying it again. The thing was, I wasn't even really attracted to this girl - I was 6 for heaven's sake - but she was handicapped and had trouble walking and my little mind didn't have the right word for my feelings, such as "hope you get well soon", "sympathy" and "empathy".

    I think I have a better grasp on my vocabularly now but there's still that stigma about telling someone I love them.


    ....that little ghost has haunted me for quite a few years; it's the first time I've told anyone that story. Funny what falls onto a keyboard at the stroke of midnight...

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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by Arachu View Post
    I should probably slow down too - I'm a total perv once I get started talking about things.
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    Default Re: LGBTAitP - Part 22: The Best There Is

    Quote Originally Posted by Lyesmith View Post
    Eating a Manatee is not okay. Even if it was wearing a condom.
    ...
    Wow, that was seriously bad wording on my part. Let me rephrase:
    One of my dissection subjects was a protected species, and another was delicious.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lyesmith View Post
    And on Serp's point - I tell my freinds and family that I love them quite a lot, but not ever really done it to a boyfreind. Then again, current sample of those is just the one, and it's new. Definitely smitten, though. It appears that I'm not actually some sort of gay robot and have emotions after all. Damn.
    I get infatuated easily, but rarely fall in love. Before that boyfriend, I didn't think I was capable of falling in love. Now years afterwards, I'm not sure I'm capable of loving anyone else...
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    It's true, but mostly I'm saying it for the poetic melodrama

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