Magic Missile Pun

[Lord Tyger]

With proper set-up...

"Look up."
"What? Hey, what's that?"
"Mistletoe."
*cast*

[hobbitkniver]

Here's a bad one

MAGIC NEVER-MISS-ILE

I like this one. I realize it's terrible yet somehow made me laugh even when things I recognize as funny don't.

[Ornithologist]

you could start by naming your character The Son of John...

Combine with hip thrusts and lame, uh "richard" jokes as needed.

Also: Now this Son of John has the magic touch!

Im gonna go and wash my self now... those were horrible

[Calzone]

I would like to apologize in advance for what follows.

----------

*points finger-gun at enemy and mimes pulling the trigger*
"Boom! Headshot!"

----------

*Blow up an enemy with a magic missile*
"More like a magic mist-ile!"

----------

"Duck, duck, duck, ... MAGIC MISSILE!"

----------

"Bow before the terror of my MAGIC MISS-"
*turns around and casts spell in the wrong direction*
"...-ILE!"
*as the spell loops around and hits the intended target*

----------

"When I was a young mage I could only cast a single magic missile. Now I'm powerful enough to cast magic Mrs. -iles; Magic Mr.-iles too, on a good day."

----------

*When playing with a cheating gambler*
"I call a MAGIC MISDEAL!"
*cue magic missile to cheater's face*

----------

*While someone scrying or casting a sending*
"Whoops! Looks like it was a MAGIC MISDIAL!"

----------

"I learned this one from an old voo-doo master -- BLACK MAGIC MISSILE!"

----------

*When shot at by an enchanted projectile*
"Looks like you bought a MAGIC MISSILE of returning!"

----------

"I know you're thinking 'Oh gee, another magic missile...' Well, here's something new -- PHANTASMAL PROJECTILE!"
.. .. ..
"Ok, it WAS another magic missile."

----------

"I wanted to be a cleric, but I could never get the hang of 'Cure Light Wounds'...I always ended up casting MAGIC MISHEAL!"

----------

"Were you expecting a fireball? I'm sorry I missle-d you."

----------

"No I don't have a crossbow, I only stock fire-and-forget weapons in my arsenal."

----------

"Sorry guys, I didn't mean to rocket the boat."

----------

"I hope you won't missile that <ear or other body part>!"

----------

You: "I'm glad you responded to my casting call."
Them: "What casting call?"
You: "Magic Missile!"

----------

"It's time for another wonderful episode of 'Casterpiece Theatre'."

----------

"As lawful types, my friends really want to take you to the king to be tried for your crimes against the kingdom. Unfortunately, we'll be missing a crucial piece of evidence - your body. MAGIC MISTRIAL!"

----------

"M-A-G-I-C M-I-S-S-I-L-E!"
*spell magic missile*

----------


OK, I'll stop now.

[underpowered]

I would like to apologize in advance for what follows.

----------

*points finger-gun at enemy and mimes pulling the trigger*
"Boom! Headshot!"

----------

*Blow up an enemy with a magic missile*
"More like a magic mist-ile!"

----------

"Duck, duck, duck, ... MAGIC MISSILE!"

----------

"Bow before the terror of my MAGIC MISS-"
*turns around and casts spell in the wrong direction*
"...-ILE!"
*as the spell loops around and hits the intended target*

----------

"When I was a young mage I could only cast a single magic missile. Now I'm powerful enough to cast magic Mrs. -iles; Magic Mr.-iles too, on a good day."

----------

*When playing with a cheating gambler*
"I call a MAGIC MISDEAL!"
*cue magic missile to cheater's face*

----------

*While someone scrying or casting a sending*
"Whoops! Looks like it was a MAGIC MISDIAL!"

----------

"I learned this one from an old voo-doo master -- BLACK MAGIC MISSILE!"

----------

*When shot at by an enchanted projectile*
"Looks like you bought a MAGIC MISSILE of returning!"

----------

"I know you're thinking 'Oh gee, another magic missile...' Well, here's something new -- PHANTASMAL PROJECTILE!"
.. .. ..
"Ok, it WAS another magic missile."

----------

"I wanted to be a cleric, but I could never get the hang of 'Cure Light Wounds'...I always ended up casting MAGIC MISHEAL!"

----------

"Were you expecting a fireball? I'm sorry I missle-d you."

----------

"No I don't have a crossbow, I only stock fire-and-forget weapons in my arsenal."

----------

"Sorry guys, I didn't mean to rocket the boat."

----------

"I hope you won't missile that <ear or other body part>!"

----------

You: "I'm glad you responded to my casting call."
Them: "What casting call?"
You: "Magic Missile!"

----------

"It's time for another wonderful episode of 'Casterpiece Theatre'."

----------

"As lawful types, my friends really want to take you to the king to be tried for your crimes against the kingdom. Unfortunately, we'll be missing a crucial piece of evidence - your body. MAGIC MISTRIAL!"

----------

"M-A-G-I-C M-I-S-S-I-L-E!"
*spell magic missile*

----------


OK, I'll stop now.

This list is going to be so very useful for my next character

[Icewraith]

"Magic missile is soooo mainstream. I use Bergabad's Unerring Force Projectiles instead."

"I prophesy that in the next six seconds you will be attacked by a mystical innerrant destructive force."
*Magic Missile*
"The prophecy has been fulfilled!"

Edit: ><

[nedz]

"Did you cast Shield today ? I guess we'll find out now then"

Also, thread necromancy.

[Jarawara]

Also, thread necromancy.

No, no, no... Magic Missile is an *Evocation*.

So it's thread evocation!


(And you can bet the moderators NEVER miss...)

[Aberrant17]

"Can you feel the magic?"

"You just got ar-caned!"

"You shoulda got out of dodge. Oh wait..."

"You shall/shan't be miss-iled."

"Crazy? CRAZY!? I'm a manic/maniac missile!"


Also, try looking up words with the mis- prefix. You'll have no shortage of material for your atrocious puns. :)

[Mexikorn]

I hope you like cheesy puns:

"Friendship is magic, my missiles are to;
look at yourself, theres a hole inside you!"

[Doorhandle]

Wand of magic missiles: It's a magic missle launcher.

"They're magically delicious! Also painful."

"Hitting you with these is like finding an old man in a brothel; Not hard."

Point the spell directly at your face and watch the missiles arc away from you into them.

"Magic missile: apply directly to orc!"

"There are problems that can't be solved with this spell. Haven't found any yet."

[deuxhero]

Give an expendable item of "Magic Missile". It actually functions like Magic Weapon, but can be used on only a single piece of ammo (or "missile")

[Guizonde]

"i love projectiles. something magic about these missiles"

*throws gamer's caltrops/ d4's on the table* "and now for the magical ones!" (slightly meta)

"you know what blows? you, vertically speaking"

"i remember a wise old man who once said: if you think violence isn't the answer to everything, it's that you don't know how to cast magic missile"

"know what's better than magic missile? explosive runes, but since all i've got is 1st level spells..."

[The Grue]

Someone please gas this thread.