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  1. - Top - End - #1141
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 22: In Which Two Problems Prevent Each Others' Solut

    Gotta admit, I laughed at that picture.


    So, what does everyone think about the impact of social media on relationships these days? Positive? Negative? Does it make them feel too quick-and-easy, marginilized? (Or whatever that'd be called.)

    My relationship with my ex was mainly long-distance for most of its course. We talked daily via forums, MSN, AIM or facebook. Due to that and her not going to school or seeing any friends besides her roommate (who disappeared a few months after I visited her) and her old best friend occassionally visiting (and in the end not even that anymore), though no doubt also due in part to her personality, she became quite clingy to me, which was one of the reasons that led to me breaking up with her in the end.

    However, this also made me a little averse to talking online a lot to girls I've met in person and have taken a liking to, fearing that if we'd talk daily either they'd end up like my ex or I'd come across as weak for being in contact a lot or online a lot or something like that. I'm beginning to get that same feeling with this girl I've been seeing over the past three weekends and have talked with online on multiple occassions. It's much less worse than the previous time (which wasn't with my ex, but a different girl who surprisingly enough bears the same first name as this new girl), but still there, making me kind of worried.

    I'm probably talking crazy, but telling myself that has never worked in the past in any situation to resolve it.
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  2. - Top - End - #1142
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 22: In Which Two Problems Prevent Each Others' Solut

    @Morph Bark

    I think the long distance part of the relationship was the main factor in your relationship not working out, not the fault of social media.

    Her clingy attitude towards you was probably a result of her perceived notion of not spending enough quality time with you. And that is most likely due to the long distance problem.

    I like social media, I really do. It lets me keep in contact with people at a long distance much more frequently that I would otherwise be able to do (there are only so many hours in the day, and I have plenty of long distance friends that I want to keep up with the goings on in their lives.)

    However, I deliberately have never started a relationship online and via social media because I can't handle well a long distance relationship for an extended period of time (I have been deployed for up to 4 months away from my girlfriend at the time, and that wasn't an issue.)

    If you want to pursue a relationship with someone, and long distance or social media are obstacles to overcome, then they are just that. Obstacles. It doesn't mean that the relationship will fail because of them, it just means its another wrench in the gears you have to sort out.

    I hope this helps.
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  3. - Top - End - #1143
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 22: In Which Two Problems Prevent Each Others' Solut

    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark View Post
    Gotta admit, I laughed at that picture.


    So, what does everyone think about the impact of social media on relationships these days? Positive? Negative? Does it make them feel too quick-and-easy, marginilized? (Or whatever that'd be called.)

    My relationship with my ex was mainly long-distance for most of its course. We talked daily via forums, MSN, AIM or facebook. Due to that and her not going to school or seeing any friends besides her roommate (who disappeared a few months after I visited her) and her old best friend occassionally visiting (and in the end not even that anymore), though no doubt also due in part to her personality, she became quite clingy to me, which was one of the reasons that led to me breaking up with her in the end.

    However, this also made me a little averse to talking online a lot to girls I've met in person and have taken a liking to, fearing that if we'd talk daily either they'd end up like my ex or I'd come across as weak for being in contact a lot or online a lot or something like that. I'm beginning to get that same feeling with this girl I've been seeing over the past three weekends and have talked with online on multiple occassions. It's much less worse than the previous time (which wasn't with my ex, but a different girl who surprisingly enough bears the same first name as this new girl), but still there, making me kind of worried.

    I'm probably talking crazy, but telling myself that has never worked in the past in any situation to resolve it.
    I actually feel that while it can be harmful, it can also be good for long-distance relationships, so long as said relationship was serious. A hazard that does come with interacting solely through social media is that it can make someone into a sort of tackboard for the other person's inner desires(not sure of a better way to put it), causing someone to view another person as more of an ideal than a person.

    However, on the whole, it's not good or bad. It sounds like the stuff with your exes were mainly circumstantial, so no worries about that.

    Edit: Also, Ninjask'd!

    Quote Originally Posted by noparlpf View Post
    My version of flirting is apparently just acting normally. Then for some reason girls fall for me. It's annoying.
    Trust me that I speak for myself and all guys like me, when I say this in response to that statement:

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  4. - Top - End - #1144
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 22: In Which Two Problems Prevent Each Others' Solut

    once I know someone IRL, I avoid facebook and similars like the plague in dealing with our relationship..friendly or otherwise.
    I may use skype or msn for practical reasons when distance is an issue, but that's it.
    I have however been known to get to know someone I met online through long chats via msn.. if nothing else to avoid jumping head first into something with the wrong person...but once we meet, the phone is the only acceptable inbetween for anything relationshippy.. random banter doesn't count and can occur via msn.. but I'd never "define our status" on facebook or any other such idiocy without prior verbal comunication..preferably face to face.
    a relationship I'm in is for me and her to live, enjoy and know about. I have no wish to plaster it all over the web for any quasi-stranger to lurk over.
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  5. - Top - End - #1145
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 22: In Which Two Problems Prevent Each Others' Solut

    With a few exceptions (I asked a friend out via fb because she was still in Europe at the time, and I wanted to ask before I lost the balls to do it) I don't ask out/break up with girls over any form of textual communications, or even by phone if possible. It's just not something you should do without having the ability to communicate fully - with voice inflection, body language, etc at your disposal (which, I suppose, could make skype or similar video chats viable as well) to insure that your both on the same page - important discussions like that need to be protected against miss communications, in my opinion.

    Then again, my relationship history doesn't really paint me as the best guy to listen too. My roommate can get any chick he wants and does most of his relationshipping through texts.
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  6. - Top - End - #1146
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 22: In Which Two Problems Prevent Each Others' Solut

    So, depending on how busy she is, I may or may not have a date on Friday with a girl I just met... owO;;

  7. - Top - End - #1147
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 22: In Which Two Problems Prevent Each Others' Solut

    Quote Originally Posted by Adrian Korvedzk View Post
    So, depending on how busy she is, I may or may not have a date on Friday with a girl I just met... owO;;
    Is that some sort of emoticon I am not familiar with, or are you just excitedly hitting random keys on the keyboard?
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  8. - Top - End - #1148
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 22: In Which Two Problems Prevent Each Others' Solut

    Quote Originally Posted by noparlpf View Post
    My version of flirting is apparently just acting normally. Then for some reason girls fall for me. It's annoying.
    I wish this was the reaction I got. Apparently I get the "Oh my god he's hitting on me!" reaction...

    Edit: This conversation ended a bit back, but I saw this today:
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    Of course, you can get accused of being a Nice Guy even if you are genuinely interested in them as a person if you even so much as let it slip that you might be interested in them while being nice. =\
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  9. - Top - End - #1149
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    Quote Originally Posted by Logic View Post
    Is that some sort of emoticon I am not familiar with, or are you just excitedly hitting random keys on the keyboard?
    The former. It comes from darker places of the interwebs, but is effectively 'shocked'. You can capitalize either 'o'.

  10. - Top - End - #1150
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    Quote Originally Posted by Logic View Post
    @Morph Bark

    I think the long distance part of the relationship was the main factor in your relationship not working out, not the fault of social media.

    Her clingy attitude towards you was probably a result of her perceived notion of not spending enough quality time with you. And that is most likely due to the long distance problem.

    I like social media, I really do. It lets me keep in contact with people at a long distance much more frequently that I would otherwise be able to do (there are only so many hours in the day, and I have plenty of long distance friends that I want to keep up with the goings on in their lives.)

    However, I deliberately have never started a relationship online and via social media because I can't handle well a long distance relationship for an extended period of time (I have been deployed for up to 4 months away from my girlfriend at the time, and that wasn't an issue.)

    If you want to pursue a relationship with someone, and long distance or social media are obstacles to overcome, then they are just that. Obstacles. It doesn't mean that the relationship will fail because of them, it just means its another wrench in the gears you have to sort out.

    I hope this helps.
    It does, thanks. Mainly for how I'm feeling, rather than on a rational level, but still.

    Little rant on that relationship's end anyhow:
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    That relationship ended nearly a year ago (last November), and I broke it off because I didn't think the long-distance thing was going to work out, especially considering she lived in Washington and I lived in Europe, so across a country plus an ocean plus a sea and then some. I didn't speak to her for a while, because I didn't want her depression to rub off on me (I'm a little sensitive for that, especially during exam times), but in the end we stayed in touch and remained really good friends (she even calls me her "Dutchie BFF"). Lately we haven't been in touch as much, mainly because she's been going to college again (finally, she kept holding off on it until she could move to Europe for me, which I always told her was a bad idea) and has been moving around during the holidays with her new boyfriend (a guy she also met online, before me even, who never showed interest in her until I broke up with her). Before they even really got into a relationship they had already decided that he'd move in with her and her mom (something which they had told me I could do on many occassions), got a job with a contractor (a family friend of theirs) working with their house, then later quit the job because the contractor got fired due to inappropriate comments (something I don't really get, as apparently they'd all been making such jokes a lot before) and then her mom hired him to do it instead.

    Oh yeah, I prolly should've prefaced that by saying that their house is technically not allowed to be lived in due to it nearly falling apart and having some kind of deadly mold growing under some of the walls, as well as possibly a termite problem and definitely a rat or mouse problem. The only room unaffected was my ex's. Also, her mom is a hoarder, so until a few months ago the house was packed with stuff until they forced her to sell stuff and dump other things with the garbage. I doubt the house is much liveable even for their five cats.


    So yeah, there were more things wrong with the whole thing, so I'm glad that now everything is much more okay for everyone. (Well, except for the fact that she delayed going to college and I ended up flunking all subjects in the semester that I went to see her during a weeklong vacation and my study advisor then told me I shouldn't quit but keep going, even when just last year I still had so many subjects still to go they could fill two years and in the fifth year the costs for studies TRIPLE. So yeah. That's also one relationship I broke out of. )

    Quote Originally Posted by Pyromancer999 View Post
    Edit: Also, Ninjask'd!
    Don't worry about getting ninja'd here. I like to here more opinions than that of one person, so I got a bigger base to draw from. Plus, I value others' opinions on these matters (mainly in an advisory position of course and nothing more)

    Trust me that I speak for myself and all guys like me, when I say this in response to that statement:

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    Picture made me chuckle.

    But erm...

    *flutters eyelashes innocently*

    That's kind of the way it went with all the girls who were interested in me these past couple years? I mean, it doesn't happen exactly often, but that's how it goes yeah.

    Quote Originally Posted by ForzaFiori View Post
    With a few exceptions (I asked a friend out via fb because she was still in Europe at the time, and I wanted to ask before I lost the balls to do it) I don't ask out/break up with girls over any form of textual communications, or even by phone if possible. It's just not something you should do without having the ability to communicate fully - with voice inflection, body language, etc at your disposal (which, I suppose, could make skype or similar video chats viable as well) to insure that your both on the same page - important discussions like that need to be protected against miss communications, in my opinion.
    Well, the main reason I asked about what y'all think about the impact of social media on a relationship is because of this one girl I'm starting to take a liking to, but I am unable to see her during the week as she then is in her room near the campus, in a city quite a bit away from me, and I'm also currently looking for a job to fill my weekdays, so I couldn't exactly visit her easily during the week. All the times we've spent together in the past weeks have been set up over Facebook, though I did try calling her once about the last time, which was the only date-like situation out of all those times. Thing is, unless I go out of my way to see her (even on weekends when she's back at her parents' house she's still one town away), I won't see her face-to-face, so I couldn't ask her out that way.

    She has recently mentioned I could come over to watch Doctor Who with her (and her brother and father, who are also fans). I'm contemplating it. One of the things holding me back is that... I was unable to see the first episode of the new season. ;_;
    Last edited by Morph Bark; 2012-09-06 at 02:38 AM.
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  11. - Top - End - #1151
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 22: In Which Two Problems Prevent Each Others' Solut

    oh.. flirting

    yeah... I suck at it.
    might as well vent a little on the subject:
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    there's this thing where a small (as in, way too small) number of women just naturally falls for me...and falls hard. On these occasions I may remain oblivious to it until it's too late. this has happened a few times, especially so when I was younger.
    Alternatively something kinda cute happens... by which I mean that I occasionally am in the position of wrapping them around my finger.. which empowers wildly.. but also, to misquote spiderman, gives me wild responsabilities..so.. I try to be careful and respectful*..which occasionally may still lose me the girl.

    *that's actually how I am with everybody 99% of the time anyway.. so it's not like I have to try real hard

    most other girls (almost everybody) usually look right through me..
    imagine, if you would, a hypotetical girl being asked "which of these guys would you go on a date with/hang out with/ask for anything/do anything with?"... her figuratively looking at a pack of guys..with me standing right at the front of said pack. You'd expect her to look at all alternatives on offer and consider them independently.
    Well.. in 99% of the cases, she'll simply overlook me completely. Whether I stand there naked, dressed as a clown, wildly flailing my arms around or sitting on a horse does not make a single difference.. I'll look in her eyes and she'll barely register my presence..if at all... I might as well be invisible. actually this happens across the board..with men as well..but since I have no particular inclination towards them, that bugs me a lot less.
    (as a matter of fact, I have actively used my "unremarkableness" a couple of times.. to go about my business unnnoticed and thus undisturbed.. but it's not exactly a superpower.. maybe I should consider a change in career and become a pickpocket)

    it's annoying.. and it kind of takes the wind out of any desire on my part to invest much energy in flirting and getting to know girls I like but who on the whole will most likely barely hear me talk, let alone show any interest.
    so, at 34, I go through life still putting myself out there in the hope of bumping into one of those select few that really dig me... but with very little hopes to find one, and for the one I find to be on the same page as me, relationship wise (most women I've hit it off with one way or the other were either done with having long term, had children, were looking for something different than I was at the time)
    This usually means I am mostly alone.. and that casual flings to at least quench the basest of urges are hard to come by too.
    Usually said women are rather assertive, intelligent and independent (yay.. I wouldn't want them any other way).. but also hard to be with..for a number of reasons.. although I guess that's true for everybody..including me.
    Anyway, all of the above makes it rather hard to follow my default disposition: that of a nice individual (didn't want to reboot the whole "nice guy" thing again.. I KNOW for a fact that I can't claim to be one..I just try to do the right thing for the right reasons).. with a positive and optimistic outlook on life and the world in general.
    it's hard to stay cheerful and not become embittered.
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  12. - Top - End - #1152
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 22: In Which Two Problems Prevent Each Others' Solut

    Maybe you should try actually going out naked/dressed as a clown/flailing your arms while at a place you'd go to looking to meet women. I'm specifically saying women here mainly because you mentioned that you're 34 and I'd say past the college stage I would no longer really refer to a female as a girl. Or are you finding yourself mainly attracted to women much younger than you? I hope I'm not misinterpreting that.

    I have to admit, I've found that when I meet girls a lot younger than me (like, 18 or younger, so some are borderline acceptable), they are MUCH more readily attracted to me. I once went to an exposition about human bodies and such with my brother and mother, and there I met a girl who was there with her grandparents. She was apparently very much attracted to me, until I started talking about some biology stuff after finding out she was studying to become a nurse. Turns out her level of education was much lower than mine and it was my intelligence that was the turn off for her. I've also occassionally met girls at bus stops or train stations and begun a conversation during which they seemed attracted to me, but it got a little awkward for me after finding out that they were younger than my brother (one of them was actually in the same year as him at his school).

    This is especially awkward to me since I always figured I was into older women. Turns out I'm just into mature girls.

    This includes physically mature. [/TOMATOFACE]
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pyromancer999 View Post
    Trust me that I speak for myself and all guys like me, when I say this in response to that statement:

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sholos View Post
    I wish this was the reaction I got. Apparently I get the "Oh my god he's hitting on me!" reaction...
    I mean, it doesn't happen every day, or even all that often. But when it does it's annoying.
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 22: In Which Two Problems Prevent Each Others' Solut

    RE: Social media.

    Social Media works if you work at it, just like with any relationship. There is the very real problem of making someone you met online an ideal rather than a person (guilty as charged with that for my second relationship...). It's damn useful for chatting with people though for cheaper. You just have to be careful with it, just like with anything.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark View Post
    Maybe you should try actually going out naked/dressed as a clown/flailing your arms while at a place you'd go to looking to meet women. I'm specifically saying women here mainly because you mentioned that you're 34 and I'd say past the college stage I would no longer really refer to a female as a girl. Or are you finding yourself mainly attracted to women much younger than you? I hope I'm not misinterpreting that. [/TOMATOFACE][/SIZE]
    ha!..no, I tend to use the term girl, when referring to women I date or have dated..kind of endearing-wise, if you like.. it doesn't matter if they're 20 or 44.. I'll still call them girls..or women..indifferently (only discriminating by way of context, when I remember to do so).
    the ages I listed, 20 and 44 aren't random.. those were the "extremes", age-wise, of the women I've been involved with (to various degrees), over the last 5 years... well.. during my years in England, where apparently being mostly Italian singled me out positively, for some reason.
    Oddly enough this doesn't seem to impress anyone here in Italy.
    Maturity and intelligence are pretty high on the list of things I look for in a woman..and age excludes nor guarantees either of the two... so yeah..I've met a few very smart and mature younger girls..and a really funny and happy slightly older woman.. (I used to call her an old bint, which made her laugh.. I'm weird, so I attract weird women, I guess).
    in the end, the women I'm most confortable with tend to be around my age or maybe just a couple of years older..mostly because we have more in common and a common ground of things to talk about.
    I find it very hard to relate to girls who squee when they see Justin Bieber, who don't know who Freddie Mercury was and who consider a man of 40 "like really old, like my father or so".
    Of course there are plenty of young women who aren't that immature despite not being able to order a beer in an english pub...hence, my "lower age limit"...which however was one of a kind.
    P.S. naked I could try..although I'd land in jail real quick.. dressed up as a clown however...*shudders*... I wouldn't know where to put my face.. the shame! I never liked dressing up much, not even as a kid
    Last edited by dehro; 2012-09-06 at 07:26 AM.
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 22: In Which Two Problems Prevent Each Others' Solut

    My new gf told me something when we first started dating and it struck me as true. From reading some of the recent posts on this thread I figured posting it here might do some good

    Online relationships lead to a false sense of intimacy.

    Looking back on my own experience supports her theory at least. Meeting people online is all well and good but I think the healthiest relationships will move beyond that into physically spending time together. It is a lot easier to type things to a screen than say them with someone looking into your eyes and when you find yourself opening up because you feel safer online, you feel closer than you really are.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sturmcrow View Post
    My new gf told me something when we first started dating and it struck me as true. From reading some of the recent posts on this thread I figured posting it here might do some good

    Online relationships lead to a false sense of intimacy.

    Looking back on my own experience supports her theory at least. Meeting people online is all well and good but I think the healthiest relationships will move beyond that into physically spending time together. It is a lot easier to type things to a screen than say them with someone looking into your eyes and when you find yourself opening up because you feel safer online, you feel closer than you really are.
    Oddly, despite it being much harder to say things, I preferred meeting in person to talk about problems. Does that make any sense?
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 22: In Which Two Problems Prevent Each Others' Solut

    Quote Originally Posted by noparlpf View Post
    Oddly, despite it being much harder to say things, I preferred meeting in person to talk about problems. Does that make any sense?
    It does. I agree it's much harder though, which might explain why this one girl I got involved with ended up wanting to talk things out entirely through instant messaging services, despite us having met in person and attending classes together and studying together. Obviously, that did not work out.

    Strangely enough, she cited as one of her reasons for breaking things off with me was that "[you] were acting too much like a boyfriend".
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark View Post
    Strangely enough, she cited as one of her reasons for breaking things off with me was that "[you] were acting too much like a boyfriend".
    How is that a bad thing? I'd love it if someone told me that. Mainly because I don't have a girlfriend but.......T.T

    Still, doesn't seem like a bad thing. There's usually a more masculine and more feminine person in a relationship, regardless of the genders of those involved in that relationship. So.... does not really seem like a thing to break up over.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark View Post
    It does. I agree it's much harder though, which might explain why this one girl I got involved with ended up wanting to talk things out entirely through instant messaging services, despite us having met in person and attending classes together and studying together. Obviously, that did not work out.

    Strangely enough, she cited as one of her reasons for breaking things off with me was that "[you] were acting too much like a boyfriend".
    Sounds like a bad excuse to me.
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 22: In Which Two Problems Prevent Each Others' Solut

    Quote Originally Posted by noparlpf View Post
    Oddly, despite it being much harder to say things, I preferred meeting in person to talk about problems. Does that make any sense?
    Yes. Loads. I am the sort of person who stays up waaaaaaaay to late on Facebook talking to friends who live far away and we just sort of complain to each other and try to help one another out. But whenever I can I always meet up with these people and walk around waaaaaaaay into the night doing pretty much the exact same thing. Almost always feel much better after the walks.
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  22. - Top - End - #1162
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 22: In Which Two Problems Prevent Each Others' Solut

    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark View Post
    It does. I agree it's much harder though, which might explain why this one girl I got involved with ended up wanting to talk things out entirely through instant messaging services, despite us having met in person and attending classes together and studying together. Obviously, that did not work out.

    Strangely enough, she cited as one of her reasons for breaking things off with me was that "[you] were acting too much like a boyfriend".
    That... just sounds completely bonkers.

    I can definitely sympathize though. I "dated" a girl for like, two weeks, and despite being in clubs together and going to the same school, after our first date and "officially" becoming an item she suddenly decided to completely drop out of my life and demanded that I constantly call her in order to catch up, which I found patently ridiculous, demeaning, and wrong and made no bones about telling her this.
    Last edited by Coidzor; 2012-09-07 at 06:44 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark View Post
    It does. I agree it's much harder though, which might explain why this one girl I got involved with ended up wanting to talk things out entirely through instant messaging services, despite us having met in person and attending classes together and studying together. Obviously, that did not work out.

    Strangely enough, she cited as one of her reasons for breaking things off with me was that "[you] were acting too much like a boyfriend".
    Meh. I used to have to talk things out via AIM type stuff. I was just that unused to having serious conversations that having them in person was terrifying. Fortunately, my guy was able to work through it with me and we've been happily married for half a decade.

  24. - Top - End - #1164
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pyromancer999 View Post
    How is that a bad thing? I'd love it if someone told me that. Mainly because I don't have a girlfriend but.......T.T

    Still, doesn't seem like a bad thing. There's usually a more masculine and more feminine person in a relationship, regardless of the genders of those involved in that relationship. So.... does not really seem like a thing to break up over.
    We weren't actually in a relationship in that point. When I met her she was in a relationship, but broke up a week after New Year's. Then got back together two weeks later, just two days after telling me that she "no longer saw [you] that way".

    They broke up again two weeks after that.

    During those two weeks she was single she told me "[your] chances are rising very high" and even took me into a lingerie store after going bookshopping in a city near my hometown after our classes (basically, she lives two hours travel away from campus to the west, I live two hours ravel to the east).

    While most of her humour was enjoyable, her taste in music educating and her love for games and physical contact unifying points, ultimately her vagueness and tendency to fall back into depression easily and prefer things not to change, even if for something really good, that led to me not wanting to try and win her back or something nutty like that.

    Oh, and I spent that Christmas in agony because my ex was staying over at my place (my parents being unaware of the relationship), and the new girl and her apparently were both convinced I was screwing the other behind their back, while new girl was actually doing that with her boyfriend, whom she had admitted to having come to love less and less over six months time due to lies and emotional abuse, allegedly.

    I haven't spoken her face-to-face since a year now. I feel much better for it.

    Quote Originally Posted by THAC0 View Post
    Meh. I used to have to talk things out via AIM type stuff. I was just that unused to having serious conversations that having them in person was terrifying. Fortunately, my guy was able to work through it with me and we've been happily married for half a decade.
    Admittably, this did work out with my ex, but sadly other, more vital parts did not. We're still really good friends as a result.
    Last edited by Morph Bark; 2012-09-07 at 07:00 PM.
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    In self-indulgent news, I hate mixed messages.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
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  26. - Top - End - #1166
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morph Bark View Post
    Strangely enough, she cited as one of her reasons for breaking things off with me was that "[you] were acting too much like a boyfriend".
    About stupid excuses for dumping people, they come up I think because of a few things. Sometimes feelings die, and people aren't exactly where or how along the line it happened. It's a lot easier for them to say ''it's cause of X thing'' true or otherwise, than to admit they just lost the spark. Alternatively, often, they'll feel ashamed of the real reason for ending a relationship and will make something else so that they're not judged (by themselves or others) about it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Coidzor View Post
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    I know the feeling. Feel like sharing?
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  27. - Top - End - #1167
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Loss View Post
    I know the feeling. Feel like sharing?
    Coworker starts acting really into me, goes out of her way to talk to me and starts texting me outside of work. Starts trying to tease me by hanging it over my head that she knows that someone at work has a crush on me. I pointed out that I'm quite single and not the kind of person who flips their top over being the one who is approached.

    General flirting, rescued a baby squirrel from my cats and because she'd rescued one before successfully I asked her for some guidance and she kept pausing like she was going to try to steal a kiss but never really followed up on it. Squirrel died and she got quiet and sad from that for about a week and was worn out with a move besides, week later we're both tired from a hectic day and she tells me that I'm doing something the wrong way and I express annoyance at how I keep getting told a different way to do it by everyone when it is a very, very basic task and that perhaps we need to get everyone on the same page.

    She flips her lid about that like I've personally scorned her, and after a couple of conversations later in the day when things have calmed down and via text message, she stops replying to texts. Don't see her for over a week due to scheduling issues. As soon as I do it's basically right back to the low-level flirting in about every other interaction and acting interested in me, with her doing the equivalent of a 5 year old boy pulling on the pigtails of the girl he likes to me and bringing up optical illusions and mind tricks that would be considered.... suggestive.

    Thankfully she hasn't tried actually yanking off my beard.

    I'm torn between stepping up the flirting so she'll get scared off and leave me alone and trying to have a frank conversation and having that blow up in my face. While wishing that I could think of a better way to deal with it.

    She clearly doesn't care two figs about me or she'd have at least tried to learn more about me but the fact that she keeps flirting with me means that I can't really ignore her existence completely beyond doing my job because it annoys the **** out of me, especially because she keeps couching it in teaching me new things at work.
    Last edited by Coidzor; 2012-09-08 at 10:53 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
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  28. - Top - End - #1168
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    Default Re: Relationship Woes and Advice 22: In Which Two Problems Prevent Each Others' Solut

    Perhaps she was just having a bad day, or you caught her at the wrong... ''time''. If it only happened the one time and apart from that she's been flirtatious and whatnot, I'd step up the flirting or try and score a proper date.

    I don't quite understand where you're coming from with your idea that she doesn't care about you, but it's certainly possible. A lot of people flirt with guys or girls they're not into at all, not out of malice or to lead them on but because they enjoy said interaction and assume the sentiment is reciprocated without any more serious connotations.
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  29. - Top - End - #1169
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    Is it simply because I know them well, or is it just bad luck that everyone I really care about is royally ****ed up in some form or another?
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    Quote Originally Posted by AtlanteanTroll View Post
    Is it simply because I know them well, or is it just bad luck that everyone I really care about is royally ****ed up in some form or another?
    I find that when you dig down, everyone is royally messed up somehow. Just most people know how to hide it in public.
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