Page 13 of 50 FirstFirst ... 3456789101112131415161718192021222338 ... LastLast
Results 361 to 390 of 1500
  1. - Top - End - #361
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2009

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Skeppio View Post
    (Can you believe I spent the entire day trying to write this?)
    I can believe it. How do you put something like that into words? Just exactly how do you describe the emptiness inside? You can't call it a chasm or a yawning pit of darkness... because that would then become something significant.

    How do you get across to the world that there is just nothing there? It's damn near impossible. There are no words to describe what true emptiness feels like. You either turn it into a devouring monster, which it isn't, or you devalue its impact and are faced with a backlash of what people call 'real problems'.

    You attribute your dysphoria to your body issues, but that at least is a longing. That at least is something you can point towards and say 'Here! This is where I begin!'

    Is it? Will the transition you're talking about give you the life which will lead to at least the desire for more? Right now, it sounds like you want nothing. Will accomplishing this goal clear the way for a truly motivated life?

    If so, then make that your priority. Make that happen. Look at the years it will take to accomplish and then know that each year after that will be where you can actually start living.

    But, if the emptiness you feel is an illusion, then think a little more deeply about what you want. Don't create for those around you. Create for yourself. Find your own desires and make them a reality. If sharing them with others is important, then find some place to live where others will share them.

    Always keep in mind that the death of desire can be just as maddening as any other tragedy. If do have a desire, if there is something you want, find a way to make it happen. Find people to share that with. Go to them rather than suffer the presence of those who refuse to understand.
    Quote Originally Posted by Scowling Dragon View Post
    How did you have that image on standby......

  2. - Top - End - #362
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Cobra_Ikari's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Mmm. So, failed out of med school. Not really certain why I was here in the first place. Feel very...strained. Unsure of how to explain this to my parents. Especially because the last thing I got before I left was the "I'm dying, I need you to not **** this up like you usually do" speech from my father, so...yeah.

    Find myself consumed by the fear that everyone who cares about me, not just family, but friends, too, also only values me based on academic achievements and will suddenly shun me because I couldn't make it through med school. Don't know that it's justified, but...don't want to end up alone.
    Cobra Avatar by the lovely Miss Nobody. *hugs*

    Spoiler
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Hephaestus View Post
    Whenever I see a post by Cobra I think of the kitten sitting on a pillow that hugs everyone... everyone
    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow of the Sun View Post
    Zergling Ikari rush! I'm in ur base, hugging ur doods!

    Playground God of Hugs and Other Physical Affections. *snuggles*

  3. - Top - End - #363
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Draconi Redfir's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Gobbotopia
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    So guys, i have a question for you.

    What do you do when you hate somebody so much, with such a passion, that every second that you do not spend being distracted by something else is spent thinking about them and how they have wronged you and how much you hate them?

    Seriously my brain will just not let it go and get over it, almost every second of my life is focused on someone i despise and it's driving me insane!

    I mean for crying out loud we're not even fighting anymore! i just stopped going to the website i know them from because i'm tired of putting up with his bull!
    Elsee Spiriteye by Cofeee

    Normal Avy by Thormag

    Spoiler
    Show


    Some homebrew i need help with.Fin stuf
    Hear it, love it, live it.

  4. - Top - End - #364
    Troll in the Playground
     
    dehro's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Draconi Redfir View Post
    So guys, i have a question for you.

    What do you do when you hate somebody so much, with such a passion, that every second that you do not spend being distracted by something else is spent thinking about them and how they have wronged you and how much you hate them?

    Seriously my brain will just not let it go and get over it, almost every second of my life is focused on someone i despise and it's driving me insane!

    I mean for crying out loud we're not even fighting anymore! i just stopped going to the website i know them from because i'm tired of putting up with his bull!
    you do realize that this reads like you're getting into a tiff because someone is wrong on the internet, right?
    If you think it can help, I could mock you relentlessly for it.
    get over it/yourself/the argument... also
    spend being distracted by something else
    there's your answer.. there are several dozen things that can be more relevant than an argument on the net, no matter how close you got to the person on the other end of the internet cable. find stuff to distract yourself.
    Last edited by dehro; 2012-07-31 at 03:33 AM.
    a triple cheer for Wojiz, for making me my very own Avatar...
    Quote Originally Posted by kpenguin View Post
    Cursed zombies are more realistic.
    Proud founder of the Vetinari Fanclub
    Spoiler
    Show

    with many thanks to Avi for the siggatar

  5. - Top - End - #365
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    The Succubus's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    UK
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Draconi Redfir View Post
    So guys, i have a question for you.

    What do you do when you hate somebody so much, with such a passion, that every second that you do not spend being distracted by something else is spent thinking about them and how they have wronged you and how much you hate them?

    Seriously my brain will just not let it go and get over it, almost every second of my life is focused on someone i despise and it's driving me insane!

    I mean for crying out loud we're not even fighting anymore! i just stopped going to the website i know them from because i'm tired of putting up with his bull!
    What exactly did this person do that made you hate them so much?
    Quote Originally Posted by Dallas-Dakota View Post
    Succubus gets grongratulatory cookies from me. You have stepped into the realm of puns that only the likes of Death, Your Friend the Reaper have seen.

    Posting schedule likely to be erratic for the next few weeks - sorting out some personal stuff.

  6. - Top - End - #366
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Castaras's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Leicester, UK
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Cobra_Ikari View Post
    Mmm. So, failed out of med school. Not really certain why I was here in the first place. Feel very...strained. Unsure of how to explain this to my parents. Especially because the last thing I got before I left was the "I'm dying, I need you to not **** this up like you usually do" speech from my father, so...yeah.

    Find myself consumed by the fear that everyone who cares about me, not just family, but friends, too, also only values me based on academic achievements and will suddenly shun me because I couldn't make it through med school. Don't know that it's justified, but...don't want to end up alone.
    First of all, mister Hugsmaster, you're getting hugs.

    Now. There are so many more things to you than your academic achievements. People love you because you're an awesome person, not because you get an A grade for reticulating splines.

    You've failed med school. Think of it as a lesson and work out what you want to do now. Do you want to try education again? Do you want to go into the world of work and work your way up through that? Don't think "I've failed, I can't do anything else now.", but force yourself to pick yourself up and get busy again. Keeping yourself doing things is the best thing you can do for yourself at the moment.
    "I'm just going on motive and opportunity here and the fact that if the earth got swallowed by a black hole, I'd look suspiciously in your direction first."
    ~ Timberwolf

    "After the first day we universally agreed that she was banned from fire thereafter. The second day she ended up with the power to create 5 extra copies of herself."
    ~ Heliomance

    "You're like Pinkie Pie powered by a nuclear reactor."
    ~ Lix Lorn


  7. - Top - End - #367
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    MonkeyBusiness's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Sea Monkey paradise
    Gender
    Female

    smile Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Cobra,
    For starters, I had no idea you were in med school, and I liked you just fine then. I like you the same amount now. Yes, yes, I know that's not exactly what you meant. But you take my point, too, I hope.

    *hugs tight* Failing always feels bad, and one of the things that makes it worse it worrying about what others will think of you as a result. The other thing that makes it worse is not knowing what you will do next, because med school was a big piece of your time, mental focus, and identity.

    Let's talk about the second one first, because it is more important. I get the idea that med school was ... not entirely your choice? Is that right?

    As Castaras wisely points out, you are now free to do what you want, to try something new. What will that be? What will *you* choose?

    Follow your passion, whether that means going back to school, or joining the Peace Corps, or working as a cocktail waiter in Vegas. Do what you want. I know that is harder than it sounds (I am myself doing What I Want, and it is not easy to acchieve, or even always fun) but do what you can and kkeep looking for the next opportunity.

    As for your dad. Well. Monkey knows you love him, and I am sure he loves you and is a good person. But may I say that Monkey also is Not Impressed by people who try to do that whole deathbed emotional manipulation thing. My mother tried this on me and my sisters when she was dying of pancreatic cancer, and I really wish she had overcome that temptation because it really left me with some angry memories.

    My suggestion, if you can do this (and boy is it hard, so I won't blame you one smidgeon if you leave this gaunlet on the ground) my suggestion, I say, is to first verify that what you *heard* your dad say is what he *intended* to say. I don't know your relationship with him, or how well you two communicate.

    If you did indeed accurately receive that rather unsupportive message, then it might be good to point out to dad that (1) you will follow your heart and define "success" for yourself, (2) his death does not put you on any kind of a schedule for "success", and (3) while you understand that he wants to know you'll be all right when he is gone, *your* concern is that you'll have loving memories when he is gone, and his comments don't really help that goal.

    "Success", even when we define it for ourselves, is so elusive we are never really certain we've caught it. So the best thing to do is take care of yourself and love your life -- and the people in it -- as much as possible. In this Monkey's opinion, that is a good way too live, and the only way to avoid most regrets.

    Can I ask you to go re-read the second point? And maybe write it on your hand? You are not under any kind of schedule to "prove" yourself or "succeed". I'm sorry your dad is dying, I truly am. That does not put you under any obligation. Or schedule. It does mean that this is your chance to try to form a positive bond before he goes. If that turns out to be impossible, it is your chance to tell yourself to do what is right for *you*. That is really, really hard to do, but essential.

    Take care, dear one, and keep us posted.


    Draconi,

    Oh dear, that sounds unpleasant. Yes, distraction willl help, but one cannot be distracted all the time.

    One thing that helps me is to purge the emotion. Listening to loud angry music, jumping around and yelling (make sure no-one else is home), or working out can all help.

    Once you've managed to exhaust some of your anger physically, make yourself change focus when you start to dwell obsessively on it. Tell yourself to stop, and redirect your thoughts. This is different from distracting yourself with people. It's not easy, but with practice it works.

    I was this angry at someone who wronged me, so I feel for you. Anger of that magnitude is like chronic pain: awful to experience, overwhelming, and even debilitating. It fill the whole world, and blocks out everything else. It is exhausting. That's why it is essential not to let it control your life.

    Easier said than done, right? For me, a piece of conquering the cognitive loop of anger was to figure out how I felt wronged. Since I lost my job due to this person's manipulation (and nepotism in the workplace that shielded her) part of my hate and anger came from my fear and grief from losing work that mattered to me, at a time when I was financially and emotionally vulnerable to begin with. Finding another (better) job in the same field helped that tremendously.

    Another thing that made me feel bad was knowing I could not fight back. (I had zero financial and emotional resources for legal action. I made the right choice to let that go, but it made me feel as if I was "letting her walk all over me". That's a bad feeling.

    Sadly, for me, that just took time to resolve. I got lots of practice, meanwhile, at intentionally letting go of my anger. I had to remind myself the anger would hurt me, not her. I bring it up because when an altercation or betrayal happens on the internet, the only way to deal with it is to walk away, and that can feel like "defeat" or "giving in". It is not, but it feels that way.

    Weird thing about anger: we feel as if we hang onto it, righteously, somehow it will burn the object of our hate. That has yet to work for me, and I doubt it works for anyone else.

    Where was I? Oh yeah ... Anger can also be nudged out by other emotions. This is a subtle difference from distracting yourself with activities and people. For example, if you use angry music to purge some of the anger you feel, don't stop there. play more music that will make you feel calm or happy or silly ... you decide. When you get rid of anger, it is essential to replace it with some other feeling. I find humor helps me more than anything. The songs of Weird Al and Tom Lehrer keep me in a good mood. Stand-up comedians and The Muppets keep my anger at bay.

    Whew! Hope that wasn't too much advice! And hope some of it is useful.









    ...
    Last edited by MonkeyBusiness; 2012-07-31 at 10:49 AM.
    Happy Summertime Monkey Avatar by Trog!

    "I don't swear just for the hell of it." -Henry Drummond, Inherit the Wind


    .

  8. - Top - End - #368
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Skeppio's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Gender
    Male2Female

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Spoiler
    Show
    Another thing I loathe is how invisible I apparently am. No-one drops me a line to say hello. When I join a conversation, it goes silent like I'm an intruder no matter how public the conversation is. I'm never greeted like all the fancy popular people (Conversations always stop in their tracks to accommodate them. What's so great about them that gives them the right to look down upon me like I'm some kind of leper?!). I'm only talked to when someone wants me to do something for them, or when they want to punish me (even if I'm innocent).

    People wonder why I bottle up my feelings, and why I'm so distrustful. Yet when I'm finally convinced to be open, I'm ignored or judged! What's the point in opening up when its obvious people want me to stay closed (yet they'll still get pissy when I refuse to open up).

    And of course, if I point it out, I'm a whiner and a selfish attention-whore. Because its all so black and white apparently. Merely wanting to be acknowledged and accepted as one of the group and not a hated outcast is such a selfish move, I know.

    I know, I probably sound like a passive-aggressive jerk. I'm not that great at saying what I'm feeling. Especially not when I'm feeling cast aside, judged and ridiculed and feeling like no-one cares... :( I'm just not feeling okay right now.
    Last edited by Skeppio; 2012-07-31 at 01:21 PM.
    Sister of Rowsen. Adopted 'lil' sis' of Lady Moreta.
    Christmas Skeppio avatar made by me.
    My DeviantART My Homebrew
    My little drawing project: Homonculii (Updated: 25/06/2012)
    A very good point.
    R.I.P. Cloak, Dagger and Snowy, my three amazing rats.

  9. - Top - End - #369
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Draconi Redfir's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Gobbotopia
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by The Succubus View Post
    What exactly did this person do that made you hate them so much?
    Oh not too much, mostly just treated me like garbage the moment i tried to join the community, insulted me, insulted my writing, insulted my country, insulted people already a part of that community that i care about, lied about me multiple times, attacked me multiple times after i made a personal oath not to speak to or about them, and in general prevented me from speaking to anyone in the community whatsoever.

    How the people on that website put up with him i do not know.
    Elsee Spiriteye by Cofeee

    Normal Avy by Thormag

    Spoiler
    Show


    Some homebrew i need help with.Fin stuf
    Hear it, love it, live it.

  10. - Top - End - #370
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    The Succubus's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    UK
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by MonkeyBusiness View Post
    Draconi,

    Oh dear, that sounds unpleasant. Yes, distraction willl help, but one cannot be distracted all the time.

    One thing that helps me is to purge the emotion. Listening to loud angry music, jumping around and yelling (make sure no-one else is home), or working out can all help.

    Once you've managed to exhaust some of your anger physically, make yourself change focus when you start to dwell obsessively on it. Tell yourself to stop, and redirect your thoughts. This is different from distracting yourself with people. It's not easy, but with practice it works.

    I was this angry at someone who wronged me, so I feel for you. Anger of that magnitude is like chronic pain: awful to experience, overwhelming, and even debilitating. It fill the whole world, and blocks out everything else. It is exhausting. That's why it is essential not to let it control your life.

    Easier said than done, right? For me, a piece of conquering the cognitive loop of anger was to figure out how I felt wronged. Since I lost my job due to this person's manipulation (and nepotism in the workplace that shielded her) part of my hate and anger came from my fear and grief from losing work that mattered to me, at a time when I was financially and emotionally vulnerable to begin with. Finding another (better) job in the same field helped that tremendously.

    Another thing that made me feel bad was knowing I could not fight back. (I had zero financial and emotional resources for legal action. I made the right choice to let that go, but it made me feel as if I was "letting her walk all over me". That's a bad feeling.

    Sadly, for me, that just took time to resolve. I got lots of practice, meanwhile, at intentionally letting go of my anger. I had to remind myself the anger would hurt me, not her. I bring it up because when an altercation or betrayal happens on the internet, the only way to deal with it is to walk away, and that can feel like "defeat" or "giving in". It is not, but it feels that way.

    Weird thing about anger: we feel as if we hang onto it, righteously, somehow it will burn the object of our hate. That has yet to work for me, and I doubt it works for anyone else.

    Where was I? Oh yeah ... Anger can also be nudged out by other emotions. This is a subtle difference from distracting yourself with activities and people. For example, if you use angry music to purge some of the anger you feel, don't stop there. play more music that will make you feel calm or happy or silly ... you decide. When you get rid of anger, it is essential to replace it with some other feeling. I find humor helps me more than anything. The songs of Weird Al and Tom Lehrer keep me in a good mood. Stand-up comedians and The Muppets keep my anger at bay.

    Whew! Hope that wasn't too much advice! And hope some of it is useful.


    ...
    Even though I'm not having anger issues myself at the moment, there is a lot here that I can understand.

    Especially the bit about letting go - the only way you can stop yourself being angry is through a force of self-will. It's something that takes a lot of practice but eventually you will be able to feel yourself disengage from your anger. It'll still be there but once you've let go of it it's easier to turn your thoughts and emotions elsewhere.

    Good luck Draconi.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dallas-Dakota View Post
    Succubus gets grongratulatory cookies from me. You have stepped into the realm of puns that only the likes of Death, Your Friend the Reaper have seen.

    Posting schedule likely to be erratic for the next few weeks - sorting out some personal stuff.

  11. - Top - End - #371
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    MonkeyBusiness's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Sea Monkey paradise
    Gender
    Female

    smile Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Skeppio,

    This is terribly irreverent, but I just imagined you hollering "I rolled a four!!!" *hugs*

    It seems to me your focus on conversation is on back-to-front. You are worried about if others are listening enough. What you ought to concern yourself with is how well *you* are listening.

    I think the first thing you need to decide is whether you really want to talk to these folks. If not, there's nothing wrong with that. Only be clear with yourself.

    If you do want them in your life, then focus on being a good listener. In time, this will get you the response you are looking for.

    May I also gently observe that you attribute the exact same response -silence- to two entirely different reactions. The people you perceive as popular enter a conversation and it gets quiet. You attribute this to reverence.

    Then when you pop into a conversation, you get ... silence. The same response. But you attribute this to a lack of respect.

    Based on what you wrote, it sounds that you are assigning responses to others which they might not actually have.

    I recall that you were one of the first people to welcome me to the forum. I've never forgotten that, and how it warmed my heart. It made me want to hang around more. You, Cobra, and Moreta were the three that helped me feel at home here with my very first post. I have always thought of you as one of my friends here.

    Reach out with warmth. Some people will reject that, because some people are jerks. When this happens, count yourself lucky that jerk-detection is that easy. But most people welcome warmth. It takes a little time. It does come back around. Give it -- and yourself -- a chance.

    -Monkey


    .
    Last edited by MonkeyBusiness; 2012-07-31 at 04:06 PM. Reason: gigantic white space
    Happy Summertime Monkey Avatar by Trog!

    "I don't swear just for the hell of it." -Henry Drummond, Inherit the Wind


    .

  12. - Top - End - #372
    Troll in the Playground
     
    WarKitty's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2010

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Skeppio

    *hugs* I know we've talked about some stuff before, so I won't repeat too much here. A lot of us really do care about you.

    Cobra

    *pounces* That sucks. You're not stupid. I know you better than that.


    Minor personal worry: Does anyone know how one would go about getting generally acceptable documentation for medical issues? I'm finding some of my stuff comes up too often in random nitpicky spots where there's no "official" channels to work with.
    Masked Mage thanks to smuchmuch!

    Hail to the Lord of Death and Destruction!
    CATNIP FOR THE CAT GOD! YARN FOR THE YARN THRONE! MILK FOR THE MILK BOWL!

  13. - Top - End - #373
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Castaras's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Leicester, UK
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post

    Minor personal worry: Does anyone know how one would go about getting generally acceptable documentation for medical issues? I'm finding some of my stuff comes up too often in random nitpicky spots where there's no "official" channels to work with.
    Do you have the money to go to a doctor or nurse to ask for official documentation? Round here, we'd get an appointment, explain the situation, and ask for documentation. Doc would perform a few tests then give you the documentation as required.
    "I'm just going on motive and opportunity here and the fact that if the earth got swallowed by a black hole, I'd look suspiciously in your direction first."
    ~ Timberwolf

    "After the first day we universally agreed that she was banned from fire thereafter. The second day she ended up with the power to create 5 extra copies of herself."
    ~ Heliomance

    "You're like Pinkie Pie powered by a nuclear reactor."
    ~ Lix Lorn


  14. - Top - End - #374
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Cobra_Ikari's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    Skeppio

    *hugs* I know we've talked about some stuff before, so I won't repeat too much here. A lot of us really do care about you.

    Cobra

    *pounces* That sucks. You're not stupid. I know you better than that.


    Minor personal worry: Does anyone know how one would go about getting generally acceptable documentation for medical issues? I'm finding some of my stuff comes up too often in random nitpicky spots where there's no "official" channels to work with.
    I didn't say anything about feeling stupid, but it's weird that you said that, because I do. I don't learn or retain new information much at all anymore, and I find myself struggling with things I used to find so simple. I feel like...a lot of the time, I can't convince my brain to engage, the same way I can't convince my body to get up and move and do the things I know I need to.

    It's also really frustrating/worrying because my sister got through all these classes fine, and I know my parents think she's dumber than I am (which, I mean...that seems like a really cruel thing, to let your kids know you rank them by intelligence, but...), so...I...don't know, I know their reaction's gonna be...more unpleasant to deal with. *sighs*

    On your question: I'm not entirely sure, but I think you can request to have a copy of all your medical documentation, except maaaaybe mental health stuff, depending on your doctor's choices. For example, I know they won't let you have copies of your records from any time you were institutionalized. It's not something I really know a lot about, my family's all in medicine, so access to those kinds of things is a bit simpler for me, sorry. *hugs*
    Cobra Avatar by the lovely Miss Nobody. *hugs*

    Spoiler
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Hephaestus View Post
    Whenever I see a post by Cobra I think of the kitten sitting on a pillow that hugs everyone... everyone
    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow of the Sun View Post
    Zergling Ikari rush! I'm in ur base, hugging ur doods!

    Playground God of Hugs and Other Physical Affections. *snuggles*

  15. - Top - End - #375
    Troll in the Playground
     
    WarKitty's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2010

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Castaras View Post
    Do you have the money to go to a doctor or nurse to ask for official documentation? Round here, we'd get an appointment, explain the situation, and ask for documentation. Doc would perform a few tests then give you the documentation as required.
    The medical conditions are well established; the problem is I have no idea what counts as "acceptable documentation."

    For an example situation:
    I have difficulty going for long hours without food. I need to eat once every 2-3 hours. Typically this is not a problem - I keep some granola or something handy, stuff a few bars into my bag if I'm going to be out, that sort of thing.
    I show up, first day, at my new workplace. Turns out the first day involves an all-day training session, with only a very short lunch break in the middle. Food is absolutely not allowed in the training room. I can't do this, but I don't have any way to prove it.

    Another one:
    I'm on the bus. It's crowded. Someone comes on smelling strongly of cologne. Something I can't be around. I need to get another spot, but I can't get through without making people move, and I don't want to attract the driver's attention for causing trouble.
    Masked Mage thanks to smuchmuch!

    Hail to the Lord of Death and Destruction!
    CATNIP FOR THE CAT GOD! YARN FOR THE YARN THRONE! MILK FOR THE MILK BOWL!

  16. - Top - End - #376
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    SamuraiGuy

    Join Date
    May 2012

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    While not as... immediate as some other problems here, I've been thinking about how much school is going to cost, and the viable careers in my chosen field of study, Creative Writing. It's a bit difficult to face that even if I do go to college and even if I do major in Creative Writing, I could be left with no career. Does anybody know if there are any good, stable, LIKELY careers in the Creative Writing field?

  17. - Top - End - #377
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    MonkeyBusiness's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Sea Monkey paradise
    Gender
    Female

    smile Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Kitty

    Documentation is not necessary for either of these situations.

    For the first, you announce, "I need to go to the bathroom. Now." Then you go to the bathroom, where you quietly eat your granola. They cannot legally prevent you from going to the bathroom, nor are they likely to desire to do so. In fact, others might follow you.

    For the second, you announce, "I feel ill. I need air." Say it loudly, and place your hand on your brow. People will get out of your way fast. Move where you need to go.

    But documentation might be good to have in the future. Just use Kitty wisdom in flashing it, because many people feel that documentation is a sort of threat. Sometimes that's good, but if you can resolve it otherwise, that's best.


    Daemonhawk

    Are you getting your BA or MFA?

    I think you can go far with a creative writing major. But you need to know what you like to do, and how to combine that with your writing abilities and degree.

    For example, advertising looks for creative writers, and that is a highly lucrative field. Political writing also is in high demand. You'll need to study rhetoric, maybe other things too.if this is appealling, plan ahead and do a related internship.

    Many writers teach, at the university level, or in public schools, or independently as tutors (you can make a bundle doing this). There is a whole process for learning to teach writing.

    Those are only three suggestions. Talk to an advisor, or take a test at the career counselling center. That will set your mind at ease and give you some options.

    Another thing ... develop a sideline. Example ... Good at languages? Minor in one you like. A writer who can translate is a hot commodity.

    -Monkey
    Last edited by MonkeyBusiness; 2012-07-31 at 07:33 PM.
    Happy Summertime Monkey Avatar by Trog!

    "I don't swear just for the hell of it." -Henry Drummond, Inherit the Wind


    .

  18. - Top - End - #378
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    SamuraiGuy

    Join Date
    May 2012

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Monkey

    I'll be getting BA first, and then think about getting a MFA.
    Thanks for those suggestions, and I'll do some more research into the field. I wouldn't mind teaching...
    Mostly, I've been wanting to become a novelist.

    I've been wanting to become a novelist, but I realize that there is a rather small chance of that being successful, so I was looking for alternative careers/ ways to bring in da dolla dolla beelz.
    Last edited by Daemonhawk; 2012-07-31 at 07:46 PM. Reason: I accidentally the post button.

  19. - Top - End - #379
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Crow's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Daemonhawk View Post
    Monkey

    I'll be getting BA first, and then think about getting a MFA.
    Thanks for those suggestions, and I'll do some more research into the field. I wouldn't mind teaching...
    Mostly, I've been wanting to become a novelist.

    I've been wanting to become a novelist, but I realize that there is a rather small chance of that being successful, so I was looking for alternative careers/ ways to bring in da dolla dolla beelz.
    Well a lot of novelists had to work 'regular' jobs while writing their first 20-30 rejected novels before they got one published.

    What do you like to write about? Maybe while you might not find a job writing, you may be able to find a job (or jobs) that will give you some kickass experience to draw from when you start writing about related subjects.
    Exercise programs
    Lif­u Hetjulega

    GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup - Off-Season

    Styx Rivermen
    Seasons 1 and 2: 16-3-4 Two-Time Division-A Champs!, Cup Champions!, Cup Semi-Finalists

    Selene's Seductive Strut
    Season 3: 7-4-2 Cup Quarter-Finalists

    Feets Reloaded
    Season 4: 5-5-2 Cup Runners-Up

  20. - Top - End - #380
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    IonDragon's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Central California, USA
    Gender
    Male

    Default Just a quick complaint

    Not looking for any response, just venting.
    Spoiler
    Show
    The other day I was supposed to drive an hour and a half to see my mom, who has been paying my cellphone bill for years and with whom I have no problems.

    At about 5 AM that day I wake up with severe abdominal pain. I try to go to the bathroom which does not alleviate the pain at all. After another 15 min of writhing around, I call the advice nurse. He says that I have to see a medical professional within the next hour. That's it. I go to the ER, get a bunch of pain medication, pass my kidney stone (that's all it was) am discharged and my dad drives me home (my cousin who drove me called him to let him know I was there, I hadn't planned on telling him). Needless to say I miss the meeting with my mom.

    We reschedule for the next day. I'm off my pain meds, I drive up to see her. A block away from her house I'm in the middle of a 3 point turn and my car stops moving. The engine revs, but it won't move. Nothing. I call her and her boyfriend helps me move the car to her place. I hang out, have lunch and then the tow truck gets there (so much for my visit). I tow the car home (almost 80 miles) the towtruck driver thinks I'm a girl for the whole thing and I don't correct him because I don't care. It's not the first time someone has mistaken me for the wrong gender (I'm cismale and hetero if it matters).

    My mechanic takes a look at it, and lets me know the right front axle is broken. Why? No clue. It's just broken. $300. Awesome.

    Last night my mom asks if one of her dogs can some stay with me. I live in a small house and already have my own German Shepherd mix and my roommate's Pit bull mix (who isn't even on the lease, so no, he can't).

    Blugh.

    EDIT:RE:Kidney stones: My doctor said "That's basically what giving birth feels like, at least if you drink enough water it won't ever happen again."

    DOUBLE EDIT: The bill came for my treatment. It was not $100 like I expected with my insurance, but rather $2000 (which I completely do not have). For what? No idea. I requested an itemized receipt sent to me, but they sent it to my dad instead. Did they mention the cost before preforming treatment? No, at no point did they mention the cost. Medicine is the only profession where they are actually PROHIBITED from telling you how much your treatment will cost for fear that it is SO FREAKING EXPENSIVE you would rather go home.
    Last edited by IonDragon; 2012-08-01 at 04:44 AM.
    My games:
    Have you ever wondered How to Succeed in Evil?

    Thanks licoot for the awesome Pip avatar!

  21. - Top - End - #381
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Skeppio's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Gender
    Male2Female

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Sorry if I sounded aggressive, passive-aggressive or just plain rude earlier. My previous posts were written at about 3am, and I was having trouble sleeping in addition to the frustrations I was feeling at the time.

    Quote Originally Posted by MonkeyBusiness View Post
    Skeppio,

    This is terribly irreverent, but I just imagined you hollering "I rolled a four!!!" *hugs*

    It seems to me your focus on conversation is on back-to-front. You are worried about if others are listening enough. What you ought to concern yourself with is how well *you* are listening.

    I think the first thing you need to decide is whether you really want to talk to these folks. If not, there's nothing wrong with that. Only be clear with yourself.

    If you do want them in your life, then focus on being a good listener. In time, this will get you the response you are looking for.

    May I also gently observe that you attribute the exact same response -silence- to two entirely different reactions. The people you perceive as popular enter a conversation and it gets quiet. You attribute this to reverence.

    Then when you pop into a conversation, you get ... silence. The same response. But you attribute this to a lack of respect.

    Based on what you wrote, it sounds that you are assigning responses to others which they might not actually have.

    I recall that you were one of the first people to welcome me to the forum. I've never forgotten that, and how it warmed my heart. It made me want to hang around more. You, Cobra, and Moreta were the three that helped me feel at home here with my very first post. I have always thought of you as one of my friends here.

    Reach out with warmth. Some people will reject that, because some people are jerks. When this happens, count yourself lucky that jerk-detection is that easy. But most people welcome warmth. It takes a little time. It does come back around. Give it -- and yourself -- a chance.

    -Monkey


    .
    Thanks for the advice Monkey. I know, I tend to get the wrong impression from people a lot of the time. I just don't feel like I'm part of the group a lot of the time. Like I'm some sort of odd end. I dunno, maybe I'm just trying to fit in to the wrong topic.
    A problem is, while I feel ignored, I also feel like I'm being judged or shunned. I'm sorta trying to make some sort of art thing, maybe a comic or something. Hopefully people will like it. Last time I tried, it didn't generate much interest and I lost interest in it. But what I fear is being mocked and judged for whatever it is I make. Not sure why I even feel that way, I really shouldn't. :/

    But I'm rather flattered you remember me welcoming you when you were new.

    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    Skeppio

    *hugs* I know we've talked about some stuff before, so I won't repeat too much here. A lot of us really do care about you.
    *hugs* Thanks Kitty.
    Sister of Rowsen. Adopted 'lil' sis' of Lady Moreta.
    Christmas Skeppio avatar made by me.
    My DeviantART My Homebrew
    My little drawing project: Homonculii (Updated: 25/06/2012)
    A very good point.
    R.I.P. Cloak, Dagger and Snowy, my three amazing rats.

  22. - Top - End - #382
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    INoKnowNames's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Not in a Ga Hospital.
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    I don't have much time this year before I'm finished with pretty much the last set of classes I can possibly take for college. I'm in a semi-genericish program, trying to get all of my electives and basics out of the way before I make a decision on what I want to do with myself, be it finish at the college I'm at or transfer over to a different one.

    To fix this, I need to decide what I want to do with my life.... a decision I've been wrestling with (amoung other issues) for the past 5 years at least.

    What do you guys suggest, or what did you use, if anything, to find your purpose in life? I've been trying to find online tests and such to help figure things out, but I've not been too successful in my search.

  23. - Top - End - #383
    Troll in the Playground
     
    WarKitty's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2010

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by INoKnowNames View Post
    I don't have much time this year before I'm finished with pretty much the last set of classes I can possibly take for college. I'm in a semi-genericish program, trying to get all of my electives and basics out of the way before I make a decision on what I want to do with myself, be it finish at the college I'm at or transfer over to a different one.

    To fix this, I need to decide what I want to do with my life.... a decision I've been wrestling with (amoung other issues) for the past 5 years at least.

    What do you guys suggest, or what did you use, if anything, to find your purpose in life? I've been trying to find online tests and such to help figure things out, but I've not been too successful in my search.
    Online tests are generally stupid. Does your school have a counseling center? They're often trained to do this type of stuff.
    Masked Mage thanks to smuchmuch!

    Hail to the Lord of Death and Destruction!
    CATNIP FOR THE CAT GOD! YARN FOR THE YARN THRONE! MILK FOR THE MILK BOWL!

  24. - Top - End - #384
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    INoKnowNames's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Not in a Ga Hospital.
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    Online tests are generally stupid. Does your school have a counseling center? They're often trained to do this type of stuff.
    It does, but most of them have recommended online testing....

  25. - Top - End - #385
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Yora's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Germany

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Oh, what an awful week.

    (death in the family)
    Spoiler
    Show
    Yesterday my dad called me to tell me that 16 year old cousin got herself killed in a moment of self-endangering mood after some stupid fight with her boyfriend on the phone. I assume by accident, but I think I'd rather stay with that assumption than learn nore of the details. Hadn't she been alone out jogging, everything would probably have been fine an hour later.

    On the one hand, it came completely out of the blue, and it probably isn't anyones fault and nobody could have done anything different. That's some consolation.
    And on the other hand, it was completely unneccessary. No drunk driver, no gass leak, no depressions.

    Damn, why not a box of chocolate ice cream?

    I'm doing alright, I guess. But this is the first time since an old great-grandmother and aunt I barely knew died over 20 years ago. You know at some point it will happen with all your grandparents going strong on 80, but nobody expects something like this!
    And now I keep dealing with it mostly by observing my own reactions. Which are actually quite interesting. But that's not what is supposed to happen! And that's somehow the weirdest part about it. My dad seemed quite composed and then it was just like "Oh damn, that's sad. Well, thanks for telling me". Didn't even feel akward. But I guess my mom and my grandparents are probably having it quite rough and I can't really imagine about the immediate family, of course! Since I'm living on the far side of the country, I hadn't really had much contact with them for quite some time, but at least my mom is going to call in the next days, and I have no idea how I am going to handle that. But that should really be the least problem right now!
    All really strange...

    On the "plus side", if you want to call it that, half an hour later my brother, who still lives back in our home town and never calls anyone for conversation, gave a short call to check how I was doing and just mention that I have his number in case I wouldn't want to bother our parents right now. I'm not even sure he knew I've alredy been informed. That was really unexpected and might even have made a real difference. That was really nice.
    Last edited by Yora; 2012-08-07 at 08:16 AM.

  26. - Top - End - #386
    Troll in the Playground
     
    dehro's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    there's not much I can say to help..except.. embrace the positives and let them help you get through this.
    a triple cheer for Wojiz, for making me my very own Avatar...
    Quote Originally Posted by kpenguin View Post
    Cursed zombies are more realistic.
    Proud founder of the Vetinari Fanclub
    Spoiler
    Show

    with many thanks to Avi for the siggatar

  27. - Top - End - #387
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Yora's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Germany

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    I think I can handle myself quite well. It's just everything else about the situation that's frightening.
    I am terribly uncomfortable around emotional people when it's just about minor things and usually just manage to weasel myself out quick and quietly. I think everyone will be fine with it when I keep out of sight right now, but eventually I have to face it. And I really don't have any idea what to expect and what to do.
    When your 87 year old grandmother dies, that is sad and it would have been nice if it hadn't happen, but such is the nature of things and we all know it and accept it. That's something you can remind each other of and take some comfort from it. But things like these aren't supposed to happen! Everything you can say either reminds everyone how awful it is, or belittles their grief. And if they want you to say something and you don't, it appears you're not really bothered. So far I managed myself suprisingly well, with a stiff upper lip. That's how we deal with things. But if someone would want to talk about it, I don't know. I'm at a total loss.

  28. - Top - End - #388
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    The Succubus's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    UK
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    *hugs*

    Sometimes when someone wants to talk, all you really need to do is listen. And maybe hug them afterwards.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dallas-Dakota View Post
    Succubus gets grongratulatory cookies from me. You have stepped into the realm of puns that only the likes of Death, Your Friend the Reaper have seen.

    Posting schedule likely to be erratic for the next few weeks - sorting out some personal stuff.

  29. - Top - End - #389
    Troll in the Playground
     
    WarKitty's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2010

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    So I finally started the process of filing for disability accommodations at my school. So nervous...especially since when I did this undergrad, it was basically a giant headache for absolutely nothing. Hopefully a bigger university will solve that problem - my undergrad basically offered me their standard list (which was tailored entirely to learning disabilities) and then said they couldn't do anything that wasn't there.

    Edit:
    So I got a response to my email asking about accommodations that didn't involve testing that assured me that they have accommodations for testing. I don't see how that's helpful?
    Last edited by WarKitty; 2012-08-07 at 03:50 PM.
    Masked Mage thanks to smuchmuch!

    Hail to the Lord of Death and Destruction!
    CATNIP FOR THE CAT GOD! YARN FOR THE YARN THRONE! MILK FOR THE MILK BOWL!

  30. - Top - End - #390
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Yora's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Germany

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by The Succubus View Post
    *hugs*

    Sometimes when someone wants to talk, all you really need to do is listen. And maybe hug them afterwards.
    Well, it turned out better than I expected. Talked a bit with my mom who had been taking care of the brothers today and the older one had been talking to my dad who had been almost through the same thing at a similar age. Just a brief recap that everyone is doing reasonably well. Everyone is taken care of and looking after each other, and I'll guess we'll just manage. I think this actually takes quite a load off me.

    And now that seems all way too simple! :/

    This all seems to go inappropriately well. Aren't we supposed to freak out a lot more?
    Well, I guess we all do in some way... But there's probably no sense in trying to figure it out and make sense of it, or solve anything. Nothing else left to do than letting it settle, until we find our ways to have it be a part of our lifes we're comfortable with.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •