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  1. - Top - End - #751
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Chen View Post
    Depression is going to exacerbate things here. Clearly trying to find treatment for that should be a priority.
    Trust me, I have been. It's not really working. And I'm afraid people are trying to stay away and out of contact with me simply because I am depressed. Which makes me more depressed because now I'm depressed and alone with no one to talk to about it. Because apparently friends are only there to enjoy your company, not help you through hard times, and if you're not being enjoyable you might as well not exist.

    In terms of hanging out with people, have you tried initiating things yourself? Just waiting to get invited hasn't been working. If you're more introverted its possible you're just being overlooked. Organize a movie thing or something and directly invite people. Other activities (sports or other clubs) are good places to meet people, as is school (if you're still in school).
    Yes, and almost every time I try initiating I get the same answer. They're busy. And then they go spend tons of time with other friends and I hear about it later. I sent out an invite to a movie to anyone who saw my post on Facebook. A free movie. In the theater. No one said anything. I set up a game night thing, and someone else basically took it over and away from me and now they're the one associated with it and its success.
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  2. - Top - End - #752
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    OrcBarbarianGuy

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    frown Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    So i don't really post here that much even though i should because everything on this board as a whole fits me. My current situation is that i just have had a long and tiring year it started with my grandmother passing away 5 days before my birthday, in janurary. Then everything was ok for a while.
    I found a weekly gaming group and was meeting a lot of people that i was becoming friends with. Except now i moved recently from Michigan too north carolina too live with someone I've known for a few years and friends with but not super close. I did this mainly to just get some change in my life and to try living elsewhere.....
    So far it hasnt been anything good. One main thing is that once i moved down here my roommate doesnt really treat me too friendly. I get invited to places which are about a ten minute drive into town, which wouldnt be a problem except i dont drive. There is bussing so its okay during the week just not sundays.
    So like today she was here this morning and told me im more then welcome to hang out but says ill have to find my own ride there knowing my predicament. She then proceeds to leave at ten am.l and not return, this is another common thing that happens. Mainly i just miss family and all my old friends and im starting to get mopey and i have no idea what do to... sorry for the rant and thanks for reading. Im its sure is an eyesore.

  3. - Top - End - #753
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Sholos View Post
    Trust me, I have been. It's not really working. And I'm afraid people are trying to stay away and out of contact with me simply because I am depressed. Which makes me more depressed because now I'm depressed and alone with no one to talk to about it. Because apparently friends are only there to enjoy your company, not help you through hard times, and if you're not being enjoyable you might as well not exist.
    Clinical depression is certainly going to taint your view and perspective on things. But you've already said you're working on that so I'll leave it be.

    As for friends helping you through hard times, its not something most people will immediately jump to if not asked. Even very good friends may expect you to ask for help rather than just give it. If you're acting depressed they may assume you simply want time alone. And this is assuming very close friends. I have a number of people I call friends, but whom I would not turn to if I needed serious help. There's a much smaller number of people that I would confide in with regards to how I am feeling, and almost all of these are friends I've had for 10+ years. People I've met more recently at work and the like just don't fall into the category. This level of friend IS the type I'd expect to only hang out with so that we can mutually enjoy each other's company.

    Yes, and almost every time I try initiating I get the same answer. They're busy. And then they go spend tons of time with other friends and I hear about it later. I sent out an invite to a movie to anyone who saw my post on Facebook. A free movie. In the theater. No one said anything. I set up a game night thing, and someone else basically took it over and away from me and now they're the one associated with it and its success.
    Again check for confirmation bias here, but if you are constantly asking people to do things and they always make excuses, perhaps they are not actually friends. However, you mention a game night that I assume you and people did end up going to, so does it really matter who's associated with its inception and its success? Were people willing to come to said game night when you made in the invite to begin with?

  4. - Top - End - #754
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Chen View Post
    Clinical depression is certainly going to taint your view and perspective on things. But you've already said you're working on that so I'll leave it be.

    As for friends helping you through hard times, its not something most people will immediately jump to if not asked. Even very good friends may expect you to ask for help rather than just give it. If you're acting depressed they may assume you simply want time alone. And this is assuming very close friends. I have a number of people I call friends, but whom I would not turn to if I needed serious help. There's a much smaller number of people that I would confide in with regards to how I am feeling, and almost all of these are friends I've had for 10+ years. People I've met more recently at work and the like just don't fall into the category. This level of friend IS the type I'd expect to only hang out with so that we can mutually enjoy each other's company.
    Hmm, maybe that's my problem. The longest I've ever known anyone is 4 years, not counting family. A military upbringing led my childhood to basically being friendless due to moving every two years and never figuring out how to quickly make friends. In fact, I've now lived in my college town longer than anywhere else and known the people around me longer than anyone except a single friend from middle school.

    Again check for confirmation bias here, but if you are constantly asking people to do things and they always make excuses, perhaps they are not actually friends. However, you mention a game night that I assume you and people did end up going to, so does it really matter who's associated with its inception and its success? Were people willing to come to said game night when you made in the invite to begin with?
    When it started out, yeah. I'm actually going to try to start it back up here in a little bit and see what happens. My chaotic work schedule doesn't really help, but I'm not getting out of that any time soon so I'm just going to have to work around it.
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  5. - Top - End - #755
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Sholos View Post
    Hmm, maybe that's my problem. The longest I've ever known anyone is 4 years, not counting family. A military upbringing led my childhood to basically being friendless due to moving every two years and never figuring out how to quickly make friends. In fact, I've now lived in my college town longer than anywhere else and known the people around me longer than anyone except a single friend from middle school.
    Well 4 years is still a decent amount of time. Still it takes people time to get close to other people. Aside from knowing someone for just a plain long time, things like being roommates for a while or otherwise being constantly around them is the type of friend who'll likely be more comfortable with helping you out. Even then more often than not, it requires ASKING for help, rather than people just volunteering it.

    When it started out, yeah. I'm actually going to try to start it back up here in a little bit and see what happens. My chaotic work schedule doesn't really help, but I'm not getting out of that any time soon so I'm just going to have to work around it.
    Yeah even with hectic work and school, I found I would do worse at both if I didn't put aside enough time to relax/socialize. After Christmas is probably a good time to start something too when everyone's fresh for a new year.

  6. - Top - End - #756
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Some days my job sucks.

    Trying to help students and teachers cope with the loss of a student and possibly another from a "drunken teen fight" that turned into a stabbing.

    I love being a therapist... but not at times like these.
    Unofficial Brew-Meister in the playground. Just ask!


  7. - Top - End - #757
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Just sent my parents the email telling them that I'm taking some time off. And I have to go home in a week.

    I hate my life right now.
    Hail to the Lord of Death and Destruction!
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  8. - Top - End - #758
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Good fortune to both of you, although the phrase "Luck" does not seem to offer much in the way of expressing my sincere intent that things work out and some modicum of peace becomes available.

  9. - Top - End - #759
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    DrowGirl

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by smellie_hippie View Post
    Some days my job sucks.

    Trying to help students and teachers cope with the loss of a student and possibly another from a "drunken teen fight" that turned into a stabbing.

    I love being a therapist... but not at times like these.
    You're doing your best to help people through a terrible thing, hard as it is. And you will help, and at least some people will be able to cope better thanks to you.

    When in doubt, remember the people you're helping, not what you're helping them cope with.
    "I'm just going on motive and opportunity here and the fact that if the earth got swallowed by a black hole, I'd look suspiciously in your direction first."
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  10. - Top - End - #760
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Castaras View Post
    You're doing your best to help people through a terrible thing, hard as it is. And you will help, and at least some people will be able to cope better thanks to you.

    When in doubt, remember the people you're helping, not what you're helping them cope with.
    That was probably the best piece of advice I have heard all day.

    Thank you. *hug*
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  11. - Top - End - #761
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    DrowGirl

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    *hugs* Glad I could help even slightly.
    "I'm just going on motive and opportunity here and the fact that if the earth got swallowed by a black hole, I'd look suspiciously in your direction first."
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  12. - Top - End - #762
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    drive, commitment, motivation... where can I get some?

    spoilerised rant
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    I'm in a broody mood today. I guess it comes with having cold toes (apparently my new shoes are great at keeping my feet dry in the snow, not so great at also keeping them warm).
    anyway, I'm sat here at age 34, doing a job that potentially could earn me a tidy income and then some.. but for a score of reasons, I'm barely getting by, and that's only because the rent I pay is a pittance.
    I'm not in a position to be able to change profession, and if I were, I would probably not do it because I actually like my job.
    I used to like martial arts a lot.. on some level I still do, but I can't bring myself to do anything about it, and I realise that I am now some 5-6 kg over my ideal weight. (intensely disliking running and cycling doesn't help, I reckon).
    I used to read a lot.. now, except for webcomics, a number of forums and handful of selected authors I seem to only re-read.
    I used to write a lot and also did last year's nanowrimo (had to skip it this year).. except I had to quit halfway through whilst being at 37k words,.. so, well ahead of schedule.
    I wake up with plenty of ideas for things to write in my spare time, and go to bed without having done anything about it.
    I wake up also with a list of things to do for my job (I'm in sales), and when I get up from my desk (or back from visiting customers) it turns out that I've left a few of them out for no acceptable or discernible reason.
    things pile up for no reason.
    I used to want to learn how to play the blues harmonica (I once knew how to play the guitar).. I've got the harmonica, somewhere... I've never gotten around trying it.
    I used to have a handful of friends..
    now there's a couple left over whom I mostly am in touch with online because either they have moved abroad or I have moved back to Italy and left them behind in the UK..
    and then there's one friend who is still my best friend but let's face it..the man has other stuff to think about now that he's married.
    I've been single for longer than I care to admit and am growing bored with it..but not bored enough to actually want to do something about it, so I make up excuses.
    the main ones being that I'm not very social/outgoing and dislike the classic "pub scene/half-drunken approach". I actually can't afford right now to spend money on anything that isn't work related, so I tend to stay home, browse the web and do **** all else.
    the net result is that I haven't had a girlfriend or even a shot at having one in..it's becoming years now..
    I know all the things one could do that aren't expensive and might put me in a place to meet people and make new friends. (to be fair, most of them still require some investment and I am really strapped for cash, lately).
    most of these things have no interest to me.. the others that might interest me don't interest me enough for me to get of my butt.. not even with the remote allure of being a gateway to meeting people and potential sexy times (that's also becoming a distant memory but I shall refrain from expounding on that so as not to corrupt the younger readers with my perverted ways).
    I'm developing, nurturing even, a dangerous penchant for never getting around finishing stuff that I start and that I know would be beneficial to me.

    all considered, there's a growing list of things I could be doing, a second list, also growing, of things I should be doing, and then there's me, dangling by a rope above a bottomless pit of cantbearsedness.

    In other words, I'm totally deprived of drive
    Despite knowing how to push someone else and being considered as a well rounded and sensible individual (I even get told that, when I give it, my advice is well thought out, relevant and helpful).. despite knowing my situation and being able to list all the things I could be doing that would make my life simpler and my job more profitable, I just cannot find it in me to actually do any of those things.


    P.S. all of the above is making me feel stupid because I know that I could actually be good at a few things, if I put my mind to them.
    Last edited by dehro; 2012-12-18 at 03:44 PM.
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  13. - Top - End - #763
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Still no word back from my parents.

    Why am I so scared of this, exactly?
    Hail to the Lord of Death and Destruction!
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  14. - Top - End - #764
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    Still no word back from my parents.

    Why am I so scared of this, exactly?
    Because your parents are some of the most important and significant people in your life. Think about it. They've been around since (probably) you were born. You've been around them far, far more than anyone else. So their opinion carries a lot of weight.
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  15. - Top - End - #765
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Sholos View Post
    Because your parents are some of the most important and significant people in your life. Think about it. They've been around since (probably) you were born. You've been around them far, far more than anyone else. So their opinion carries a lot of weight.
    The strange thing is that I know, rationally, that their opinion of my life is 99% crap. I mean, I'm really happy to not be around my mother and having to deal with whatever made-up problem she has with me this time. But I'm just outright afraid of her, and I don't know why.
    Hail to the Lord of Death and Destruction!
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  16. - Top - End - #766
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    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    The strange thing is that I know, rationally, that their opinion of my life is 99% crap. I mean, I'm really happy to not be around my mother and having to deal with whatever made-up problem she has with me this time. But I'm just outright afraid of her, and I don't know why.
    This is all about assumptions and all, but she always sounded rather erratic and prone to making sweeping pronouncements/getting set on a course of action or opinion that is to your detriment from what you've mentioned of her in the past.

    People whose behavior isn't consistent are naturally unnerving and draining to be around for any real length of time from what I've gathered and experienced. People with some amount of power over one's self who are inconstant, well...

    On the other hand, half of a parent's job is traumatizing their children in a variety of ways, I'm theoretically a grown man and I can still feel echoes of the visceral terror I had felt the few times I saw my father truly angered when I was a boy if I'm given cause.
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  17. - Top - End - #767
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    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    So....Finally seems like I'm in need of a change in my major. I'm stuck between two majors:

    • In Major A, I'm pretty confident that I can do well in it and get my bachelor's degree in four years. However, it would not offer up much in the job department.
    • In Major B, I could probably get a good job with it, perhaps even have a decent chance of a government job and sounds interesting, but I'm not as sure I can do well in it, plus I would have to face an extra semester or two, most likely without most of my current friend group, as they all plan to leave with just a bachelor's degree.


    In addition, the stress of having to make this decision is leaving me with a major headache, in addition to my chest sometimes feeling tight and some other stuff, leaving me feeling sort of just like **** in general. Does anyone have advice on this, whether which major sounds better in the long run, or on how to handle the stress this is causing?
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  18. - Top - End - #768
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    DrowGirl

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by dehro View Post
    drive, commitment, motivation... where can I get some?

    spoilerised rant

    P.S. all of the above is making me feel stupid because I know that I could actually be good at a few things, if I put my mind to them.
    Drive, Commitment and Motivation are bloody difficult to motivate yourself to get.

    With regards to the girlfriend issue - have you tried online dating? It's not too shabby for finding people to at least hang out with and meet up with - and some sites you can just say that you're looking for people to hang out with rather than bang.

    Otherwise... Motivation is a thing where you just have to do it. You could maybe start up something online like a blog which forces you to do stuff so you can update it (might or might not work).
    "I'm just going on motive and opportunity here and the fact that if the earth got swallowed by a black hole, I'd look suspiciously in your direction first."
    ~ Timberwolf

    "I blame Castaras. You know... In general."
    ~ KuReshtin

    "Castaras - An absolutely adorable facade that hides a truly ruthless streak."
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  19. - Top - End - #769
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    dehro's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Castaras View Post
    Drive, Commitment and Motivation are bloody difficult to motivate yourself to get.

    With regards to the girlfriend issue - have you tried online dating? It's not too shabby for finding people to at least hang out with and meet up with - and some sites you can just say that you're looking for people to hang out with rather than bang.

    Otherwise... Motivation is a thing where you just have to do it. You could maybe start up something online like a blog which forces you to do stuff so you can update it (might or might not work).
    on online dating.
    In England I've gone down that path and with some success.. made some good friends, had fun with a few that I later parted ways with.. then I moved back to Italy and everything came to a screeching halt
    Online dating in Italy isn't quite as mainstream as it is in the english speaking world.. (it carries quite a stygma, actually, not that I'm bothered by that) .. 99% of the "girls" you bump into online are either dudes mailing from bulgaria or nigeria aiming to swindle you out of money or divert you towards other pay-sites, or prostitutes looking for customers. The numbers on online dating are already massively tilted (something like 20 guys for every girl, including the fake ones) if you add that to the picture, it turns out that anywhere near where I live there are maybe 3-5 (not kidding) genuine girls.. who are drowned by emails and contacts in such a way that I'd have to be a winged billionare with a massive tonker to be noticed in the crowd.

    that said, I've actually met 2 girls that way.. with one it didn't work out, the other was more promising, but then she found a job and had to move 400-500 km away not long after our first date. Ironically, that falls into a pattern I've grown used to.
    Whenever I find a girl that I have any romantic inclination towards and who isn't too repulsed by the idea, either I move away, or she moves away. The last one I had feelings for moved all the way to Kabul..

    On the plus side (well.. for them) apparently dating me is a springboard for fate propelling women towards the man of their life. The number of girls I've dated who have found their soulmate very soon after us meeting (and liking each other well enough) is depressing. Not that I begrudge them for it.. I'm actually happy for them, what with some of them still being internet-friends.

    I tried the blog thing years ago, when it first got called blogging, and got bored with it. The number of notebooks I've bought over the course of my life with the intention of starting a diary is embarassing.
    Right now, I just don't have enough stuff going on in my life to want to write about it.. there are only so many ways one can dress "so, I worked today, and then watched some stuff on youtube, and then I went to bed" to keep it fresh... and to keep it from boring myself with it.
    also, my writing has always been rather personal to me, except for when I was involved in online gaming a lot more and used to do a lot of worldbuilding. (something that almost cost me a job on account of my mind being on that and not on the job)..
    hell.. even now I should be calling customers instead of prattling on the web.
    I'd probably better go back to doing that.

    anyway, thank you for the attention.. and yes.. giving oneself motivation seems a task of sisyphean proportions
    Last edited by dehro; 2012-12-20 at 06:37 AM.
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  20. - Top - End - #770
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pyromancer999 View Post
    So....Finally seems like I'm in need of a change in my major. I'm stuck between two majors:

    • In Major A, I'm pretty confident that I can do well in it and get my bachelor's degree in four years. However, it would not offer up much in the job department.
    • In Major B, I could probably get a good job with it, perhaps even have a decent chance of a government job and sounds interesting, but I'm not as sure I can do well in it, plus I would have to face an extra semester or two, most likely without most of my current friend group, as they all plan to leave with just a bachelor's degree.


    In addition, the stress of having to make this decision is leaving me with a major headache, in addition to my chest sometimes feeling tight and some other stuff, leaving me feeling sort of just like **** in general. Does anyone have advice on this, whether which major sounds better in the long run, or on how to handle the stress this is causing?
    Just getting any degree is starting to become more and more commonplace nowadays. People feel like they "have" to go to college so they go in and get some degree that is pretty useless in the general business world. More and more people are doing this and it is devaluing these types of degrees. This means competition for the generalized jobs will be higher too. A more specialized degree will almost always be better for job prospects.

    If your goal in going to college was to get a good job, the path is obvious. Major B is much better in this regard. Not to mention if you cannot handle it, you can fall back to Major A (clearly with a cost, but it can still be done). Aiming high and failing (as long as the failing doesn't have severe consequences) is generally better than just striving to be mediocre.

  21. - Top - End - #771
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    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Chen View Post
    Just getting any degree is starting to become more and more commonplace nowadays. People feel like they "have" to go to college so they go in and get some degree that is pretty useless in the general business world. More and more people are doing this and it is devaluing these types of degrees. This means competition for the generalized jobs will be higher too. A more specialized degree will almost always be better for job prospects.

    If your goal in going to college was to get a good job, the path is obvious. Major B is much better in this regard. Not to mention if you cannot handle it, you can fall back to Major A (clearly with a cost, but it can still be done). Aiming high and failing (as long as the failing doesn't have severe consequences) is generally better than just striving to be mediocre.
    I suppose that would work, although also, I would have to do well in Major B in order to get a job in it. Also forgot to mention that I could also back up my degree with business courses for Major A.

    Another thing that's really complicating this decision is that I don't even know what I want to do for a living. None of my hobbies(essentially just reading and gaming) can really be turned into a job, and I really have not displayed any particular strengths in anything except maybe the depths of my imagination, much to the displeasure of my parents. All this just makes me really anxious, and I hate that, because when I'm anxious, I need to think clearly, which requires sleep I haven't been getting because I'm so anxious, I'm kept awake worrying until I pretty much pass out, and don't even get much sleep then.

    *sigh* Life. Ain't it wonderful?
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    DrowGirl

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    *raises hand* I'm another who's main interests are hobbies which I can't make a job out of. Best thing to do, if you can't decide on what to do is to go for the one that'll make the most money AND have the best hours (9-5 without out of hours work is good). Work hard at it, keeping in mind the job is going to be able to fund you for all your fun things you want to do.
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  23. - Top - End - #773
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    Quote Originally Posted by Castaras View Post
    *raises hand* I'm another who's main interests are hobbies which I can't make a job out of. Best thing to do, if you can't decide on what to do is to go for the one that'll make the most money AND have the best hours (9-5 without out of hours work is good). Work hard at it, keeping in mind the job is going to be able to fund you for all your fun things you want to do.
    ah.. yeah.. I'd love to be able to make earn a living by writing.. but I'm not good enough for it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Castaras View Post
    *raises hand* I'm another who's main interests are hobbies which I can't make a job out of. Best thing to do, if you can't decide on what to do is to go for the one that'll make the most money AND have the best hours (9-5 without out of hours work is good). Work hard at it, keeping in mind the job is going to be able to fund you for all your fun things you want to do.
    Well, the one that offers a better salary would also most likely end up having more hours, while the major that might offer a lesser salary would most likely have shorter hours. Also, I usually don't spend money on my hobbies. For tabletop gaming, I usually use the SRD or other legally free stuff for my game content, and I haven't bought a new video game since before high school. When it comes to books, I usually just wait for them to come out in libraries if there's something new I want to read. So, more worrying about making a good salary for a good standard of living than anything.


    Quote Originally Posted by dehro View Post
    ah.. yeah.. I'd love to be able to make earn a living by writing.. but I'm not good enough for it.
    Similarly, I once toyed with the idea of becoming an editor, but even though it offers a good salary, the jobs in that are really few, wasn't entirely sure if I'd make the cut, so pretty much gave up on that.
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  25. - Top - End - #775
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Ugh. Still absolutely nothing back from my parents. What should I do? I don't want to go visit without hearing back on this first - what if they didn't get it and I'm actually there when mom finds out? But what if they did and I send another email?
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    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    Ugh. Still absolutely nothing back from my parents. What should I do? I don't want to go visit without hearing back on this first - what if they didn't get it and I'm actually there when mom finds out? But what if they did and I send another email?
    What if you were to call? Might stave of the anxiety of not knowing...
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  27. - Top - End - #777
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheWombatOfDoom View Post
    What if you were to call? Might stave of the anxiety of not knowing...
    I've specifically been trying to keep it to email so I don't have to actually talk to my mother until she's calmed down...I absolutely have to look calm and in control for her so she doesn't try to push me around more, and I don't think I could do it over the phone.
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  28. - Top - End - #778
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    TheWombatOfDoom's Avatar

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    You could do a - Have you recieved my email? If yes, then you can talk about it. If no, refer them to email?
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  29. - Top - End - #779
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheWombatOfDoom View Post
    You could do a - Have you recieved my email? If yes, then you can talk about it. If no, refer them to email?
    Somehow I just can't see that working. I'm not sure I actually want to talk about it right now, and if they haven't gotten the email mom's going to demand that I tell her right then over the phone. I'm really trying my hardest to both take care of myself and not do anything that she'd consider "disrespectful" or "irresponsible" so she doesn't get mad...but I feel like it's turning out to be an impossible task.
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    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    Somehow I just can't see that working. I'm not sure I actually want to talk about it right now, and if they haven't gotten the email mom's going to demand that I tell her right then over the phone. I'm really trying my hardest to both take care of myself and not do anything that she'd consider "disrespectful" or "irresponsible" so she doesn't get mad...but I feel like it's turning out to be an impossible task.
    I can certainly understand that. Are you aware of how often they check their email?
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