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  1. - Top - End - #1231
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    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Grytorm View Post
    No particularly good reason. Stupid video games. I do have emotional but I think that it is likely an outcome of my difficulty in school and not the source.

    One thing I want to say is that I think I post here so I can just talk a little about it less that I am looking for advice. I know I have serious problems and but they are not complex ones.

    Also on the matter of friends I wasn't very good at making them in high school, a few people that I shared hobbies with could qualify as friends but I didn't think of them really as friends. My biggest problem I think with friends (stupid i before e) is that I don't know how to keep in contact with people after meeting them, I make a good to weird first impression then I don't really know what to do after.

    Edit: Also on the matter of kittens if you see my cat could you send her back home? I know we have a new dog and it is summer but it would be nice to see her in a few days.
    If it's addiction or borderline, even if it's not fully developed or anything, hashing things out with a professional is worth considering, since it has had this much of an effect upon you. Sometimes we can't even fully grok our own issues until we've gotten them all out on the table. Sometimes we can't fully grok them until after someone else picks up a piece off of the table that we'd never noticed before.

    Sometimes the simplest things can give us the most trouble because we feel so embarrassed that something which seems simple on the surface is more complex than we want to admit, or at lest more difficult to get rid of than it was to get or describe.

    Say hi if you see them online, drop 'em a line on facebook, shoot 'em a text message asking what's up, that sort of thing. Following up on their following up on it and doing it more and more should lead to some level of organic growth there.

    Hope your cat comes home soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Haluesen View Post
    Do I get to join in the kitten-fest/group hug? *cute eyes*

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  2. - Top - End - #1232
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Grytorm, your situation sounds a ton like my final years of college. I would spend hours doing anything but schoolwork and then feel horrible about not getting anything done. I also started performing terribly on tests and other material. The only thing I found to help was to have someone around to keep me on task. Whether to do the homework with or just a friend to make sure you actually stay doing your work.

    On my own end, I've ended up moving back in with my parents, hopefully while I get things together with my life. Unfortunately, I've also moved away from what friends I have. Any advice on being completely friendless and unable to really go anywhere?

    Also, am I too late for the group hug or free kittens?
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  3. - Top - End - #1233
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    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Got the soy sauce here. Always got it near.

    As far as I know kittens and hugs are still abundant.

    And Grytorm, it is good to get online a bit and just talk about what you are thinking and feeling. I hope all this is helping a bit, at least with the stress. I was having quite a few issues with college too. Kinda still am. I am taking online classes and actually was kicked out of one school for not doing my work. That's when I decided that I couldn't take those kind of consequences again and started doing harder. Knowledge of the price of messing up, that I got first hand, is what spurs me to keep working hard. I still have a tough time sometimes. In my last class, Drawing, I had a hard time of it. It was just very hard to get into. But they are just one more little obstacle in the way. ...I do hope I'm not just yammering on and that this is worth something.
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  4. - Top - End - #1234
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    OldWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Oh God. . . I feel like crap.
    Tomorrow I want to talk. If you guys think you may have time for now. . .
    I'm exhausted. . . please IM me before half an hour from now, if anyone feels like it.

  5. - Top - End - #1235
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    DrowGirl

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    So. House searching.

    Me and my boyfriend had found a place, looked at it, got the price for it, and then went to get the application form today. Estate Agent is at the other side of town, so had to get a taxi there. Was also pouring with rain.

    Find out that this place is on "hold" and we can't apply for it until the 24th.

    We have to move out of our current places 29th/30th.

    So now, because of this, we're back to square one. And it's unlikely we'll have a place sorted before we have to move out, no matter what we do.

    So we spent about £15 on taxi fares, and got soaking wet in the rain, all to get told "nope, come back another day".

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  6. - Top - End - #1236
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Castaras View Post
    So. House searching.

    Me and my boyfriend had found a place, looked at it, got the price for it, and then went to get the application form today. Estate Agent is at the other side of town, so had to get a taxi there. Was also pouring with rain.

    Find out that this place is on "hold" and we can't apply for it until the 24th.

    We have to move out of our current places 29th/30th.

    So now, because of this, we're back to square one. And it's unlikely we'll have a place sorted before we have to move out, no matter what we do.

    So we spent about £15 on taxi fares, and got soaking wet in the rain, all to get told "nope, come back another day".

    rajgkglhadgkghgjlkagdlkjgfaopijadfgoij.
    I know that feel.

    What I ended up doing (and keep in mind I'm single and with very little in the way of belongings) was rent a temporary, fully furnished flat with a little higher rent while I was in limbo between flats. Dunno if you have the means or opportunity for that option, but it's probably something to keep on the lookout for.

    (Sidenote: I'm still in limbo. Maybe if I wasn't such a lazy bugger...)
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    Also, this is the internet. We're all borderline insane for simply being here.
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  7. - Top - End - #1237
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    PirateGirl

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    smile Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Castaras View Post
    So. House searching.
    You had me at "house searching". How stressful, in and of itself.

    And how infuriating, when you do all the right things, to abruptly discover there is the real estate equivalent of "the secret cow level" through which you must first pass. And I'll bet you received no apology or sympathy, just, "Moo, moo, moo, moo-moo-moo-moo, on hold, moo, moo."

    It's absurd, and unfair.

    I don't know how things work in the UK, but in the US one can (for a fee) hire a rental agent to do all that searching for you. In fact in some cities it is almost impossible to get a good place without an agent. Here they usually charge a percentage of the first month's rent, which on top of all the other fees, deposits, and moving costs can make things difficult ... But it might, in the long run, be gentler on your budget to hire an agent than shelling out money for cabs that lead (effectively) nowhere.

    I was initially outraged at the thought of hiring an agent. However, I have come to view it as an investment in my own sanity.

    You have my sincere best wishes for finding a place, and for staying sane in the face of that task. Best of luck.

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  8. - Top - End - #1238
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Urgent! Help would be appreciated!

    My friend and I just went to a restaurant. We had some problems with the staff who were making a mess, and when we got out of the restaurant I felt bad about it and, also, that I had eaten a bit too much and I felt like resting for a moment.

    My friend said that she wanted to sit on the beach for a while, but I requested that we go home since I wanted to lie down. She didn't like that idea, so I complied with her without any drama or resistance and we sat there on a bench at the beach.

    Then we got to her apartment and she got really angry at me. She said that I was being very rude when I had sat there looking grim and I had had my arms crossed. I tried to calm her down and explain that I wasn't feeling all right at the moment. I didn't explain that I have some personal worries too, which I was thinking while we were sitting.
    I added that she wanted us to sit on a bench so we sat, now I'm able to rest, and that's all. She didn't like that much and now she's furious.

    What to do? I have about one hour to make her calm. Should I apologize that I was so grim while we sat? The thing is that sometimes I sit quietly and I barely say yes or no. She's familiar with my passive episodes since she has known me for years. In my opinion there wasn't anything unusual today...
    Last edited by Jon_Dahl; 2013-06-19 at 03:25 PM. Reason: Typo

  9. - Top - End - #1239
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    The Succubus's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Jon_Dahl View Post
    Urgent! Help would be appreciated!

    My friend and I just went to a restaurant. We had some problems with the staff who were making a mess, and when we got out of the restaurant I felt bad about it and, also, that I had eaten a bit too much and I felt like resting for a moment.

    My friend said that she wanted to sit on the beach for a while, but I requested that we go home since I wanted to lie down. She didn't like that idea, so I complied with her without any drama or resistance and we sat there on a bench at the beach.

    Then we got at her apartment and she got really angry at me. She said that I was being very rude when I had sat there looking grim and I had had my arms crossed. I tried to calm her down and explain that I wasn't feeling all right at the moment. I didn't explain that I have some personal worries too, which I was thinking while we were sitting.
    I added that she wanted us to sit on a bench so we sat, now I'm able to rest, and that's all. She didn't like that much and now she's furious.

    What to do? I have about one hour to make her calm. Should I apologize that I was so grim while we sat? The thing is that sometimes I sit quietly and I barely say yes or no. She's familiar with my passive episodes since she has known me for years. In my opinion there wasn't anything unusual today...
    Okies, let's look at it carefully.

    Your friend is annoyed. She's annoyed because of the restaurant and the poor service there, so that's part of the reason she's stressed. She then wants to relax on the beach for a bit but you're not comfortable with the idea, which makes her feel like she's badgering you into something you don't want to do.

    When you do go to the beach, you're very quiet. Now she could read this as being one of your quiet episodes or she could also see it (perhaps incorrectly) as you sulking the whole time, marring the enjoyment she was getting, in what could be perceived as an act of spite. In short, I can see why she might be annoyed at being frozen out.



    The best thing you could do right now is open up to her. While it's noble for you to not want to trouble her with your issues, she is your friend. Explain why you've been so distant this evening. Apologies are good but people like reasons and explanations as well. Ask her for some advice as well and maybe have another evening together when you're feeling up to it.

    Good luck.
    Last edited by The Succubus; 2013-06-19 at 03:22 PM.

  10. - Top - End - #1240
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Thank you Succubus. I did tell her everything, but to no avail. She is fed up with me.
    Btw she just misused my account to send a profanity here, which I just promptly deleted. Sorry about that, it won't happen again.

  11. - Top - End - #1241
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    HalfTangible's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    I'm working a sales job right now. Over the last two weeks, I've worked... roughly 8 hours in demos. In that time, i've made roughly $270 on commission alone. I should be thrilled. Instead I feel like I've been cheated, manipulated and lied to every step of the way.

    This job... it's not so much that the job is difficult when I'm actually doing it, it's actually pretty fun to cut up a pineapple. But the whole time, I'm being pushed and pushed by my bosses to do more. Those 8 hours above are the times I'm making money... but I'm also called in to the office over and over (often for just short chats that could very easily be done over the phone) so that I've also been at the office for 20-30 hours a week. And that stuff ain't paid. Which was okay when I started since most of it was training, but it's starting to piss me off.

    I feel lied to because I was told we could set our own hours, and that things have simultaneously been mandatory and had a requirement (da fug?!). I feel manipulated because I am unsure (on purpose, i'm beginning to suspect) what's required and what isn't. And i feel cheated because most of my time on this job has been spent either talking to my manager on the phone or just sitting at the office, learning how to sell stuff or celebrating the sales we've made.

    And most of all I feel awful that I feel this way because I've made so much money so quickly and shouldn't be whining about it being hard
    Last edited by HalfTangible; 2013-06-20 at 08:09 PM.
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  12. - Top - End - #1242
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by HalfTangible View Post
    I'm working a sales job right now. Over the last two weeks, I've worked... roughly 8 hours in demos. In that time, i've made roughly $270 on commission alone. I should be thrilled. Instead I feel like I've been cheated, manipulated and lied to every step of the way.
    You're working in sales. Persuasion, in its many forms, is the aim of the game. Is it really so surprising that your superiors have the same skill set?
    Last edited by Grinner; 2013-06-20 at 09:06 PM.

  13. - Top - End - #1243
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    HalfTangible's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Grinner View Post
    You're working in sales. Persuasion, in its many forms, is the aim of the game. Is it really so surprising that your superiors have the same skill set?
    It's surprising that they're apparently bad enough at it that I don't trust them anymore.
    Last edited by HalfTangible; 2013-06-20 at 09:31 PM.
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  14. - Top - End - #1244
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Howdy y'all, I'm fairly certain that this will get lost in this thread since it's over 40 pages already. I've been trying for about a decade now to figure out what my trouble really is, and as far as I can tell I am lonely and I don't deal well with loneliness. It started when my mom died when I was twelve, that pretty much tore my entire world apart. Two years later my grandfather died, the year after that my cousin. Not much later another family member attempted suicide and failed, and within a year of that a childhood friend attempted suicide and succeeded.
    I am very much an introvert and have the superhuman ability to stare at a wall for hours at a time simply because I just want the time to pass. The more time I am here the less I want to be here and the less I see for me and my future here. I think I need to go away soon, possibly north, or west.
    Anyway, sometimes I just need someone to talk to, other times I need someone to talk to me; in either respect, it doesn't really matter what about, I just need a little interaction. So I guess I'm wondering if anyone wants to talk sometimes, I can't promise how reliable or interesting I will be, but we are all here together under the Giant, and so we must all be kindred spirits of some kind.
    Last edited by Wafflecart; 2013-06-20 at 09:49 PM.
    Let all who look upon me and scoff be damned.

  15. - Top - End - #1245
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    TaiLiu's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Wafflecart View Post
    Howdy y'all, I'm fairly certain that this will get lost in this thread since it's over 40 pages already. I've been trying for about a decade now to figure out what my trouble really is, and as far as I can tell I am lonely and I don't deal well with loneliness. It started when my mom died when I was twelve, that pretty much tore my entire world apart. Two years later my grandfather died, the year after that my cousin. Not much later another family member attempted suicide and failed, and within a year of that a childhood friend attempted suicide and succeeded.
    I am very much an introvert and have the superhuman ability to stare at a wall for hours at a time simply because I just want the time to pass. The more time I am here the less I want to be here and the less I see for me and my future here. I think I need to go away soon, possibly north, or west.
    Anyway, sometimes I just need someone to talk to, other times I need someone to talk to me; in either respect, it doesn't really matter what about, I just need a little interaction. So I guess I'm wondering if anyone wants to talk sometimes, I can't promise how reliable or interesting I will be, but we are all here together under the Giant, and so we must all be kindred spirits of some kind.
    My condolences, Comrade. I'm willing to talk, but I can be slow at responding at times...

  16. - Top - End - #1246
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    @Wafflecart: You may PM anytime.

  17. - Top - End - #1247
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Wafflecart View Post
    Anyway, sometimes I just need someone to talk to, other times I need someone to talk to me; in either respect, it doesn't really matter what about, I just need a little interaction. So I guess I'm wondering if anyone wants to talk sometimes, I can't promise how reliable or interesting I will be, but we are all here together under the Giant, and so we must all be kindred spirits of some kind.
    First, ((hugs))

    Second, can I suggest looking for not-internet socialization? As someone who's struggled with depression (and I don't say that to try to compare to what you've been through; it doesn't begin) I found that talking to a real, physical person face-to-face, however briefly, helped me much more than talking on the internet.

    Of course, online has its place; it's especially good for talking about things which are too personal to discuss face-to-face, if you don't have anyone to confide in. And it might be different for you since you're an introvert (although I thought I was an introvert until I got my depression under control, and then realized I was a total extrovert). Plus it's just hard to work up to talking in person when you're feeling lost and depressed.

    But if you think you can manage it - even if it's just chatting with someone at the bus stop, or exchanging a few extra words with a receptionist - please do try. Internet is a poor substitute.

  18. - Top - End - #1248
    Halfling in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Thank you, I'm horrible at socializing in any way :) I don't drink and hate drunk people so I can't go out to bars. And parties just result in me standing in a corner for a couple hours being awkward. More and more of my friends are moving away and I don't know where to find gamer-ish people.
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  19. - Top - End - #1249
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Wafflecart View Post
    Thank you, I'm horrible at socializing in any way :) I don't drink and hate drunk people so I can't go out to bars. And parties just result in me standing in a corner for a couple hours being awkward. More and more of my friends are moving away and I don't know where to find gamer-ish people.
    Go on a road trip with someone you don't know. At the end of the trip, you'll either become acquaintances, or hate each other with the passion of a dragon's breath.

  20. - Top - End - #1250
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Note: another problem with going outside to socialize is that I live in one of the drug capitols of the USA About a decade ago meth labs used to blow up every couple months to a year. I don't like recognizing the meth heads asking me for quarters and they don't recognize me anymore.
    Let all who look upon me and scoff be damned.

  21. - Top - End - #1251
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Wafflecart View Post
    Note: another problem with going outside to socialize is that I live in one of the drug capitols of the USA About a decade ago meth labs used to blow up every couple months to a year. I don't like recognizing the meth heads asking me for quarters and they don't recognize me anymore.
    Well! I suppose I can see why interaction has been limited for you.

  22. - Top - End - #1252
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Wafflecart View Post
    Note: another problem with going outside to socialize is that I live in one of the drug capitols of the USA About a decade ago meth labs used to blow up every couple months to a year. I don't like recognizing the meth heads asking me for quarters and they don't recognize me anymore.
    Curious, if I may, which are drug capitals? I live in a major US city, and I certainly would like to know if I'm in one of them.
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  23. - Top - End - #1253
    Halfling in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    It's never just some meth head. It's a person, who made one bad decision a while ago, and now they are screwed for the rest of their lives. You or I or anyone else is just a single bad choice or twist of fate from being in their shoes...also at what point does this become a ramble? People everywhere all have their battles to fight, be it vs. the world, vs. themselves, or even vs. fear itself, I wish everyone might and strength of will to conquer that which makes them sad or scared. Know that none may slay their fears with head down and hood drawn. Only when you stand tall and proud of who you are can you slay the beast that stands in your path to happiness.

    Also yes I know it's easier said than done, but I need to do my best, as do we all.
    Let all who look upon me and scoff be damned.

  24. - Top - End - #1254
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by TheWombatOfDoom View Post
    Curious, if I may, which are drug capitals? I live in a major US city, and I certainly would like to know if I'm in one of them.
    Where I am from is known worldwide for it's main export, in truth it is a county of three that are the real capitol, there are multiple max security prisons that have bus drop off points in my town for cons when they get out and have nowhere to go. If you didn't know things like this about your town around your teen years then luckily, you may not be in such a place. And thankfully I was ridiculously sheltered until those teen years, so I didn't see it til then.
    Let all who look upon me and scoff be damned.

  25. - Top - End - #1255
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    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Wafflecart View Post
    Howdy y'all, I'm fairly certain that this will get lost in this thread since it's over 40 pages already. I've been trying for about a decade now to figure out what my trouble really is, and as far as I can tell I am lonely and I don't deal well with loneliness. It started when my mom died when I was twelve, that pretty much tore my entire world apart. Two years later my grandfather died, the year after that my cousin. Not much later another family member attempted suicide and failed, and within a year of that a childhood friend attempted suicide and succeeded.
    I am very much an introvert and have the superhuman ability to stare at a wall for hours at a time simply because I just want the time to pass. The more time I am here the less I want to be here and the less I see for me and my future here. I think I need to go away soon, possibly north, or west.
    Anyway, sometimes I just need someone to talk to, other times I need someone to talk to me; in either respect, it doesn't really matter what about, I just need a little interaction. So I guess I'm wondering if anyone wants to talk sometimes, I can't promise how reliable or interesting I will be, but we are all here together under the Giant, and so we must all be kindred spirits of some kind.
    I'm deeply sorry for all the losses you have suffered. I hope heading out elsewhere helps you in some way, any way. I have mentioned it once before on this thread but I will say it again, if anyone wants to talk for just little friendly banter, or whatever, I am on these forums almost all the time. I go to a friend's on the weekends, and I can get online only a handful of times a day. Throughout the middle of the week I am on consistently and available. It's just what I do.

    Hope everyone else has a pleasant day or night, whichever is the case.
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  26. - Top - End - #1256
    Retired Mod in the Playground Retired Moderator
     
    DrowGirl

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Hello again PWaA. Seems like I'm only ranting here nowadays rather than offering assistance.

    Sadness below:

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    I expected to fail. And I did. Didn't expect to fail as badly as I did - if hadn't sent in information on my anxiety, I'd have failed 50% of my first year rather than 25%. As it is, I have 2 resits in september and 2 passes that are only there because I'm ill in the head.

    Can't drown my sorrows as much as I'd like to either, due to physical illness stuff. Arrgh.

    Gonna go for these resits.

    But if I fail, what the hell do I do then?

    I can't face more failure.

    There's a few things that could happen.
    - I do the resits. I pass, and am into second year. Then I have to deal with second year, and if I fail that too, I'm going to be in some serious issues, what with 3 years down the drain instead of the 2 currently.
    - I do the resits. I fail / panic / both, and switch subject. I go into a different subject (I know the exact one I'd go for), and I end up panicking in those exams because I've failed 2 years already.
    - I don't do the resits. I switch straight to a new subject, have less panic over the summer, but never know what would have happened. And still have the panic going on.
    - I drop out of university. I flip academia off, go get a job in the real world for a couple of years until I get my anxiety under control, and find a motivation to do something at university, rather than my current "Degree Get! Job in vague area Get!".

    The last option is an extreme one. I want a degree. I just don't know (still) whether I'm doing the right one.

    I wish I could see before hand what will end up happening. I hate unknown constants. I don't know what I want to do, I don't know if the current subject is the right one for me, or whether I should have stayed with maths or moved to a different one than this one.

    I just want things to be simple and clear cut. So that I can go "Yes, this is the path that's right!".

    Life ain't like that though.


    Now please excuse me, I have a bottle to go introduce myself to. And to chuck out all the anxiety meds that did nothing for me.
    "I'm just going on motive and opportunity here and the fact that if the earth got swallowed by a black hole, I'd look suspiciously in your direction first."
    ~ Timberwolf

    "I blame Castaras. You know... In general."
    ~ KuReshtin

    "Castaras - An absolutely adorable facade that hides a truly ruthless streak."
    ~ The Succubus

  27. - Top - End - #1257
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Cassie - I'm going to be on Steam from about 17:30 onwards this evening. I'd like to talk with you if you're around.

  28. - Top - End - #1258
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Wafflecart View Post
    The more time I am here the less I want to be here and the less I see for me and my future here. I think I need to go away soon, possibly north, or west.
    Go for it, bro. Moving isn't easy, but from what you're describing it couldn't be worse. If you have friends or family elsewhere, move somewhere near them so that you have a connection and a way to socialize sometimes. Otherwise, just pick somewhere you like and go!
    Settings: Weird West
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  29. - Top - End - #1259
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Just when I thought our downstairs roommate couldn't get any weirder...apparently she managed to RECORD how often we were using the bathroom.
    Hail to the Lord of Death and Destruction!
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  30. - Top - End - #1260
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    Just when I thought our downstairs roommate couldn't get any weirder...apparently she managed to RECORD how often we were using the bathroom.
    Wow Kitty, you know the strangest people. I'm morbidly impressed.

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