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    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Have you ever done NaNoWriMo? 50,000 words in a month. One of the things they do is a "Word war" - set an amount of time (15 minutes), and try to write as many words as possible. The one who writes the most wins. Very good for writer's block.

    Maybe if you could find someone who's also having to do a paper, you could attempt a similar thing? Might help you get the start you need to finish the paper.
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  2. - Top - End - #212
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    Quote Originally Posted by Castaras View Post
    Have you ever done NaNoWriMo? 50,000 words in a month. One of the things they do is a "Word war" - set an amount of time (15 minutes), and try to write as many words as possible. The one who writes the most wins. Very good for writer's block.

    Maybe if you could find someone who's also having to do a paper, you could attempt a similar thing? Might help you get the start you need to finish the paper.
    I can put random words on the page, but...I keep writing ideas and then having to throw them out because I can't get them into a decent shape. And this has to be a good paper, I can't afford to get below an A on anything.
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  3. - Top - End - #213
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    ...I just found out that my grandmother died this morning.

    And all my mother is doing is blabbering about 'oh we've expected this so long blah blah blah' and not even caring.

    Curse words. Just... Curse words. Frak.
    Every time you spell Corellon wrong, Gruumsh gets excited and kills a kitten. Please, think of the kittens.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nai_Calus View Post
    ...I just found out that my grandmother died this morning.

    And all my mother is doing is blabbering about 'oh we've expected this so long blah blah blah' and not even caring.

    Curse words. Just... Curse words. Frak.
    *hugs* I'm sorry.

    Just a word of advice...some people (myself included) have a sort of delayed reaction to grief. In my experience, my immediate reaction is "get everyone through this" and I can actually be extremely calm. Your mother may be one of the people that reacts that way. It doesn't indicate a lack of caring, just a different sort of response.
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  5. - Top - End - #215
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Nai_Calus View Post
    ...I just found out that my grandmother died this morning.

    And all my mother is doing is blabbering about 'oh we've expected this so long blah blah blah' and not even caring.

    Curse words. Just... Curse words. Frak.
    Everyone reacts differently to grief. Everyone copes in their own way. Just because she is not reacting in the same way you or certain other people do, does not mean that she doesn't care.

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    Unfortunately, given my experience with my mother, she really doesn't. All she's done the last several years is complain about my grandma and her reaction is more 'Oh well, now I won't have to hear about it from my sister anymore time to get the will figured out'. She has a near-complete lack of empathy and doesn't form any sort of real attachment to anything, which is something everyone in the family but her has noticed and can't stand in her. *sigh* She's kind of a mild psychopath. Mental health issues run in this family like crazy, sadly.
    Every time you spell Corellon wrong, Gruumsh gets excited and kills a kitten. Please, think of the kittens.
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  7. - Top - End - #217
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nai_Calus View Post
    Mental health issues run in this family like crazy
    Last edited by dehro; 2012-06-26 at 07:27 AM.
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Masked Mage thanks to smuchmuch!

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    I'm confused.
    Every time you spell Corellon wrong, Gruumsh gets excited and kills a kitten. Please, think of the kittens.
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    Trying to do a paper. On feminist ethics. As the only woman in the class. Yeah.
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Ouch. Good luck.
    Every time you spell Corellon wrong, Gruumsh gets excited and kills a kitten. Please, think of the kittens.
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    smile Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Nai Calus:
    I am sorry for your loss.
    Let me emphasize the last two words: your loss.

    What your mother's loss might be, I cannot say. It is likely, as others have pointed out, that her grief might not surface right away, and might not look like grief when it does.

    But your loss is what you should concern yourself with. It sounds to me like you feel your feelings are being diminished by your mom's words. You might need to find a place, away from your mom, so you can express your feelings for your grandmother without having to hear someone say, "but we expected it" as if that makes everything okay.

    When I need to grieve, I like to go be by the ocean for a while. Maybe you have a place where you like to go. Where might that be? Is there a friend who can take you there, if only for a few hours?

    I'd like to hear more about your grandmother, if you would like to share that information here. It sounds to me that this has been a long, difficult process for your family, and for you.


    Warkitty:

    Wow ... feminist ethics! I am impressed: both at the subject and at your guts in undertaking that subject as the sole woman in class.

    I get your point with the link. As a woman, and a writer, I have dealt with this myself. I don't have answers, but I do have tactics.

    Every writer has an internal audience. When one is a student, part of the audience in the mind is occupied by the people who grade us, and our classmates who judge us. This is not necessarily a useful audience to have.

    In your case, allowing these people into your internal audience is detrimental, because they are a critical audience. Even if in real life they might be more sympathetic than you think, this is not relevant because they have become the embodiment of your writer's block.

    Last winter I had to write a paper for someone I will call Dr Mean. Dr Mean gave cruel feedback, and I found myself not only unable to write, but wondering why I was in the program. But then I realized my professor from the previous semester, Dr Worthy, had been encouraging. I went and dug out all my papers for her class and re-read them, along with her comments.

    Then I returned to my essay for Dr Mean's class .... and I pretended I was writing for Dr Worthy. Whenever I wondered what Dr Mean would think, I redirected my thoughts to Dr Worthy. I imagined her smile, her serious look when I asked a question, her tone of voice. I had imaginary conversations with her about the paper whever I got stuck. Having an "audience" I respected and felt respected me made a huge difference. It was not easy to write that paper ... but imagining a positive and supportive audience (embodied by Dr Worthy)made it possible.

    And I got an "A".

    I don't know if this will work for you, but it can't hurt to try.


    I will add that your topic is worthy and important.


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  13. - Top - End - #223
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nai_Calus View Post
    ...I just found out that my grandmother died this morning.

    And all my mother is doing is blabbering about 'oh we've expected this so long blah blah blah' and not even caring.

    Curse words. Just... Curse words. Frak.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nai_Calus View Post
    Unfortunately, given my experience with my mother, she really doesn't. All she's done the last several years is complain about my grandma and her reaction is more 'Oh well, now I won't have to hear about it from my sister anymore time to get the will figured out'. She has a near-complete lack of empathy and doesn't form any sort of real attachment to anything, which is something everyone in the family but her has noticed and can't stand in her. *sigh* She's kind of a mild psychopath. Mental health issues run in this family like crazy, sadly.
    I'm going to respond to a fair amount of what I think you're saying here, but it may be somewhat rambling, so bear with me.

    3.5 years ago, I dealt with a similar loss. My grandfather passed away, and my dad (it was his father who died) told me about it at about 10 at night. I cried myself to sleep that night. (Crying is very rare for me - I can't remember the last time I cried aside from that night). It wasn't entirely surprising; he'd been diagnosed with Parkinson's 20-25 years earlier, and had spent the last 5 years or so almost completely debilitated by it, to the point that he required a wheelchair and a full-time 'assistant' to help him with everything he wanted or had to do. And a year before he passed, I (with my family) had visited him in Israel (where he and my grandmother have lived since before I was born). While we were there, he stopped eating, got incredibly dehydrated/malnourished, and wound up with fairly severe hypothermia while in the hospital for the other issues. No one (us, other family, doctors, my grandmother...) thought he was going to leave the hospital. As I suggested, however, he recovered, returned home, and then passed away semi-unexpectedly (no lead-up that I was aware of, at the least) a year afterwards. Unfortunately, I had an exam the next night, which I couldn't move. What got me out of being depressed was a stupid, completely unrelated text from my best friend (who had no idea what I was going through, since I hadn't told anyone).

    My point is this: do what you have to in order to keep yourself functioning, at least enough to take care of yourself. Something will snap you out of it. Whether you'll end up with that being as soon after the fact as mine was (~24 hours) or not, I obviously can't say. It was a stupid coincidence that helped me. But make yourself your priority, and try to do things that will put you in a good mood. If that means taking a break from talking with your mom, then do that. If it means spending a few days by yourself at home, then do that. And if it means going out and having drinks with friends, whether specifically for this purpose or not, then do that.

    As to the "well, he'd been sick, and at least it's over now" approach that your mother is taking, I have second-hand experience in dealing with that, through a friend and coworker of mine. Her grandfather (also overseas, for whatever that means or doesn't) has been in and out of the hospital repeatedly, with various different ailments, and has been told that he's unlikely to leave the hospital on at least 3 occasions. My friend has traveled to Germany (3 days of flying, round trip) in order to be there when he passed, only to have him not get better or worse while she was there, and then recover once she returned. (We're in grad school, so vacations are sharply limited.) Her mother (along with the other children) began hoping that he'd pass away so that the yo-yo effect could just end after the second hospital stay, while it took until the 3rd for my friend to join them. My point is this: depending on how hard the lead-up has been on her, your mother's cynical reaction to your grandmother's passing may be entirely understandable. A "we knew it was coming" death can hit different people differently, depending on how the "it's coming" phase affected each person.

    tl;dr: If your mother's response is causing you stress, limit your contact with her. And do things for yourself to help you cope; you know best what those might be.

    If you think it might help, and you're comfortable sharing here, feel free to share more about your grandmother. If you're not comfortable sharing publicly, my inbox is open. Or just write a letter to no one about your grandmother if that's all you're comfortable doing.
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  14. - Top - End - #224
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    I'm not really looking for advice but just a place to whine self-indulgently for a second.

    Do you ever worry that you're going to be alone when you're older? My two closest friends are moving away soon to other countries, my twin sister has already gotten married and is expecting a kid in September and my older brother is due to get married next year.

    And then there's me. A 30 year old guy that's split up with his first and only gf of 2 years (who, additionally, has barely said two words to me since we broke up), a guy whose social circle is pretty much entirely work colleagues now (most of whom are 20 years older than me and not particularly good company outside of work) and the only current ray of sunshine in my personal life is the infrequent meet-ups with other UK Playgrounders. It also seems like most of the women in my life are either married/expecting kids or not interested in anything further.

    I know how to fix all this stuff - sign up with a dating website, try evening classes with stuff I find interesting, etc. It's just....a little depressing at the moment, coming back to an empty flat each evening alone. I've done it for the past 12 years, so there's no risk of me doing anything really stupid but.....

    I'm sure it'll pass though. I usually try to find a way to keep myself distracted.
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Succubus View Post
    I'm not really looking for advice but just a place to whine self-indulgently for a second.

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    Do you ever worry that you're going to be alone when you're older? My two closest friends are moving away soon to other countries, my twin sister has already gotten married and is expecting a kid in September and my older brother is due to get married next year.

    And then there's me. A 30 year old guy that's split up with his first and only gf of 2 years (who, additionally, has barely said two words to me since we broke up), a guy whose social circle is pretty much entirely work colleagues now (most of whom are 20 years older than me and not particularly good company outside of work) and the only current ray of sunshine in my personal life is the infrequent meet-ups with other UK Playgrounders. It also seems like most of the women in my life are either married/expecting kids or not interested in anything further.

    I know how to fix all this stuff - sign up with a dating website, try evening classes with stuff I find interesting, etc. It's just....a little depressing at the moment, coming back to an empty flat each evening alone. I've done it for the past 12 years, so there's no risk of me doing anything really stupid but.....


    I'm sure it'll pass though. I usually try to find a way to keep myself distracted.
    I'm pretty much where you're at now.
    and I'm 33.. 34 in less than a month

    moved a few times, even abroad for 3 years that now feel wasted, despite the friends made, fun had and things learned... started over a few times workwise, with the added disadvantage that my profession doesn't really allow for the creation of a social life. My best friend is 2 years younger and getting married, my younger sister has a husband and a child (the other siblings are younger still and not quite there yet).
    Haven't had a steady girlfriend in..too long to mention without souring my good mood..(think double digits) and I have no prospect of having a girlfriend any time soon...
    in fact, I haven't had any kind of relationship with a girl in the last 12 months... which is even more depressing.. a man can only watch so much porn before it gets boring

    I call myself lucky if I go out with friends once or twice a month..despite, or maybe partially because, of traveling a lot for work.
    worse still.. I see very little prospect for improvement right now, on the social front.. money. living quarters, time, all being factors playing against me at this juncture.
    it's annoying to think that I always thought I'd have achieved a few things by the time I turned 35..and I'm lightyears away from all of those things.

    my father had me (the oldest of his 4 kids) when he turned 36..and he's done pretty well for himself since..so I'm not really desperate.. but it is disheartening to think that by the time I will turn 36 I will probably still be in the current rut I'm in now.

    so..yeah..I know what you mean
    Last edited by dehro; 2012-06-27 at 09:46 AM.
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  16. - Top - End - #226
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    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    Trying to do a paper. On feminist ethics. As the only woman in the class. Yeah.
    If you have to present an argument to the class this is difficult, if it is for professor's eyes only, you shouldn't worry. If in fact it is shot down by the guys, or refuted and feels threatening, it easily enforces most of the research you should be doing, whether in opposition or congruence. Following scientific notation (I'm unfamiliar with social sciences, I have my degree in computer science) you should be able to cite sources in-line, which will help genuinely. Most scientific papers are all about research, whether social or not, and factual development, e.g. plenty of examples and past arguments for the same subject should help considerably. I used to go over most paper maximums by about a third and had to cut down based on this method, and it is much easier to edit than directly construct.

    If you're exhausted, I suggest coffee. No, not caffeine, coffee specifically, unless you don't drink it in general.
    Low sugar diet right now will help you, as will low fat. You will need to be able to stay still, and if your body is trying to burn energy, you won't be in good shape to concentrate. Some people recommend energy drinks, this is decent for studying, not for active memory recall. I also suggest disabling the internet and closing yourself off to the world if you need to remove distractions.
    Last edited by roguemetal; 2012-06-27 at 11:33 AM.

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    So yeah.......

    Today. Today seem a little bit too heavy.

    Not sure I want to actually start, since it is still "today". venting here might make me feel a little better, but it's not going to address the fact that I am drowning in work and such.

    Just wanted to come by and say "today sucks"... and I feel that should mean a lot since a) I don't frequently post here and b) I am a therapist, and should be helping other people with these feelings...

    Alrighty, back to it. Maybe more details later.
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    smile Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Succubus:

    Yes, I worry about being alone when I get older.

    Right now I am content to be single because my marriage was so wretchedly lonely for so long that being authentically alone feels good by comparison. But I am also in a state of transition: I don't live near any of my close friends, and am still making new friends in my new home. Most of the time I am fine, but now and then the effort to find a friend to just kick back with is frustrating.

    Knowing this is a state of transition helps. But it does get old, doesn't it?


    Smellie Hippie:

    I'm sorry you have to deal with heavy issues today. I know what you mean .... It's hard to ask for help when one is a Helper by nature and training. An additional issue I have had is that even when I can bring myself to switch roles and to ask for help, often it goes unacknowledged. It's not that people are uncaring ... it's just that even if I am very clear that I need support or sympathy from others, because they aren't used to hearing that from me ... they don't hear it. Does that ever happen to you?

    I hope things ease up. And I hope you'll share what happened. As you say, it's good to have a place to vent. Also, in case it's escaped your notice, you're well-loved on this forum, and people are interested in what happens in your life. So don't keep us all in suspense, okay?

    -Monkey



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    Last edited by MonkeyBusiness; 2012-06-27 at 05:11 PM.
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  19. - Top - End - #229
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    Quote Originally Posted by roguemetal View Post
    If you have to present an argument to the class this is difficult, if it is for professor's eyes only, you shouldn't worry. If in fact it is shot down by the guys, or refuted and feels threatening, it easily enforces most of the research you should be doing, whether in opposition or congruence. Following scientific notation (I'm unfamiliar with social sciences, I have my degree in computer science) you should be able to cite sources in-line, which will help genuinely. Most scientific papers are all about research, whether social or not, and factual development, e.g. plenty of examples and past arguments for the same subject should help considerably. I used to go over most paper maximums by about a third and had to cut down based on this method, and it is much easier to edit than directly construct.

    If you're exhausted, I suggest coffee. No, not caffeine, coffee specifically, unless you don't drink it in general.
    Low sugar diet right now will help you, as will low fat. You will need to be able to stay still, and if your body is trying to burn energy, you won't be in good shape to concentrate. Some people recommend energy drinks, this is decent for studying, not for active memory recall. I also suggest disabling the internet and closing yourself off to the world if you need to remove distractions.
    First, forgive me for snickering, but...low fat? low sugar? For work? You obviously do not have my metabolism...

    Unfortunately I'm in philosophy, which means there's little "hard facts" that I can present. And almost all the past research and arguments are against me - that's the cost of doing feminist anything in an old discipline. The frustration is more that I'm in an area that still has a lot of the mentality that feminine and academic are opposed. They won't hold to the view that being female is less academic, but a lot of traditionally feminine characteristics are devalued - especially when it comes to how emotions and relationships are handled. I'm basically challenging the way ethics has traditionally been done as fetishizing a notion of objectivity that privileges both a more traditionally masculine approach, and an approach that reinforces the position of those in power as "neutral" or "unbiased."
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  20. - Top - End - #230
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Oh no! Sounds like my Hippie is in need of emergency hugs! If you can hold on for 16 hours we'll come over and give you some.

    Or, if nothing else, we can sit around tomorrow and complain at each other about how overwhelming our jobs have become. Sound like a plan?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nai_Calus View Post
    And all my mother is doing is blabbering about 'oh we've expected this so long blah blah blah' and not even caring.
    ...I've been going through some-thing kind of similar lately. So please accept my sympathies.

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Succubus View Post
    Do you ever worry that you're going to be alone when you're older?
    A little. As you get older it becomes more difficult to meet people and make friends. Right now I have a small circle of friends and family and a slightly wider circle of acquaintances. As time goes on, more and more friends are moving away, getting married, having kids, getting new jobs. I'm single, have been for a few years, and have only even dated one woman in the intervening time. And it's not like I have any prospects or even interest at the moment. Maybe worst of all, I feel that it isn't going to get any better. I'm 31, and it's not like I'm going to get any more attractive as I get older.

    Quote Originally Posted by Counting Crows
    At 17 had a better dream
    Now i'm 33 and it isn't me
    But i'd think of something better if i could
    All my friends and lovers leave me behind
    I'm still looking for a girl

  23. - Top - End - #233
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    MonkeyBusiness's Avatar

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    yuk Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Come join my pity party.

    I am supposed to be on vacation. Took time off work and made plans to visit my pals and friends between DC & Boston. Was going to bring the dog. Lake swimming and family reunions, and beer were on the agenda. Fun times.

    Am I on vacation. No. I am not. I got sick. I am at home.

    But wait, there is more.

    Last night a huge storm hit. I wrangled all the pets, and we went and sat in the basement for a while. This morning, there is a tree down (missed thehouse by about two feet) and zero power. It's already getting hot and muggy.

    I am a grumpy monkey. It could be worse, I admit. The toilets still flush (some counties have a water restriction on top of everything else) and the house and pets are fine.

    But this is not the vacation I envisioned.

    *pouts*


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    Happy Summertime Monkey Avatar by Trog!

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  24. - Top - End - #234
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    WarKitty's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by MonkeyBusiness View Post
    Come join my pity party.

    I am supposed to be on vacation. Took time off work and made plans to visit my pals and friends between DC & Boston. Was going to bring the dog. Lake swimming and family reunions, and beer were on the agenda. Fun times.

    Am I on vacation. No. I am not. I got sick. I am at home.

    But wait, there is more.

    Last night a huge storm hit. I wrangled all the pets, and we went and sat in the basement for a while. This morning, there is a tree down (missed thehouse by about two feet) and zero power. It's already getting hot and muggy.

    I am a grumpy monkey. It could be worse, I admit. The toilets still flush (some counties have a water restriction on top of everything else) and the house and pets are fine.

    But this is not the vacation I envisioned.

    *pouts*


    .
    Wow that sucks. I don't have anything really brilliant to say, so here's a picture of a kitten petting a monkey:

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    Masked Mage thanks to smuchmuch!

    Hail to the Lord of Death and Destruction!
    CATNIP FOR THE CAT GOD! YARN FOR THE YARN THRONE! MILK FOR THE MILK BOWL!

  25. - Top - End - #235
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by MonkeyBusiness View Post
    Come join my pity party.

    I am supposed to be on vacation. Took time off work and made plans to visit my pals and friends between DC & Boston. Was going to bring the dog. Lake swimming and family reunions, and beer were on the agenda. Fun times.

    Am I on vacation. No. I am not. I got sick. I am at home.

    But wait, there is more.

    Last night a huge storm hit. I wrangled all the pets, and we went and sat in the basement for a while. This morning, there is a tree down (missed thehouse by about two feet) and zero power. It's already getting hot and muggy.

    I am a grumpy monkey. It could be worse, I admit. The toilets still flush (some counties have a water restriction on top of everything else) and the house and pets are fine.

    But this is not the vacation I envisioned.

    *pouts*


    .
    *cuddles* Hope you get better soon hun.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dallas-Dakota View Post
    Succubus gets grongratulatory cookies from me. You have stepped into the realm of puns that only the likes of Death, Your Friend the Reaper have seen.

    Posting schedule likely to be erratic for the next few weeks - sorting out some personal stuff.

  26. - Top - End - #236
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    blackfox's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Quote Originally Posted by MonkeyBusiness View Post
    *evilweather*
    Yuck! Sounds like this is the same storm that hit my family (central Virginia). Dunno what to do about the bluhs and the boreds, but I'll tell you the same thing I told my mother about the heat: Go to whatever grocery store still has power and ice. Get one of those big bags of ice, and get a five-gallon bucket. Put the bag of ice in the bucket, and put it in a smallish room with you. Water has a ridiculously high specific heat (it takes a lot of energy to increase its temperature) so a largish volume of ice will actually cool a room significantly.

    I'm assuming you're only miserable-sick, and not bedridden-sick, since you posted this from somewhere, and there's no power at your house.

    Although come to think of it most people have smartphones. Dunno, man.

    Feel better soon, and best of luck.
    The Feud continues!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gorbash Kazdar View Post
    - Feud, the: The 'secret' plot to do something to BlackFox for some reason no one seems to really recall. Accusations of a government cover-up concerning the Feud remain unsubstantiated.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hoseki View Post
    Hoseki looks between Blackfox and El Jaspero. "...I think the Elemental Plane of Fire has frozen over."

  27. - Top - End - #237
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    ClericGirl

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    This is day two of a sudden heatwave. We jumped from temps in the low eighties to 110. I got heat exhaustion today and lost all three of my chickens. I'm beating myself up with "what ifs..." What if I'd tried this or that, or come home a few hours early or or or.

  28. - Top - End - #238
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    yuk Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Thanks for all the warm fuzzies, people. Warkitty's warm fuzzy picture made me smile out loud, so that helped.

    Thanks also for the get-well wishes, Succubus. I too wish I might get well soon ... and stay that way. This is the third time this year I have cancelled travel plans at the last minute due to illness. I know exactly why I keep getting sick: I work with kids in a swimming pool. I knew when I accepted this job that it would take a while for my immune system to adjust ....but it seems harder than it has been in the past. Is that because I am older, and more vulnerable? Is it because working in a swimming pool makes a whole new soupy environment for infection? Or some other reason? Or some combination? At any rate, I have been thinking of looking for new work, in spite of enjoying this job, which also pays well and allows me a huge amount of time for working on my writing.

    My writing also suffers when I get sick. I do my best to keep up with the schedule I have imposed on myself (six hours a day, plus two of intensive reading) but when one is blowing her nose or coughing her head off, it is hard to do.

    Blackfox, thanks for the good advice about ice. What is funny is I knew that trick: in fact, I've used it in the past when I had a frail, elderly pet in an unairconditioned house during a heat wave. He was a very old bunny, and I filled empty plastic soda bottles (the big liter-sized one) with water and froze 'em, then put Old Bunny and the bottles together in the bathroom, along with an electric fan. He was the happiest person in the house that week!

    I wish there was someone who could take care of me the way I take care of my pets.

    The electricity here came on in the afternoon, then went off again for no appearant reason, then just now came back on. Perhaps it has PMS. Who knows? So I was not without power all day, and probably won't have to throw the entire contents of the freezer away. (Although I did eat about a pint of tropical fruit sorbet this morning ... one of the perks of an outage, I guess.)

    I did take myself out this morning, to try to find coffee and to get a connection on my cell phone, and that was when I made my first post. The local caffè had no power, but the intrepid owner set up a camp stove, ground coffee beans with a rolling pin, and served coffee from the hand press. Good stuff. It was nice to sit in the shade, with a breeze, and enjoy the "postapocalyptic bonhomie" of a neighborhood that's had an inconvenient (but not disabling or deadly) brush with an angry Mother Nature. But I did have to go home, and the day has been a bit lonely ... especially when I think about my cousins at the family reunion (happening right now). I try not to think about that.

    [/whining] Thanks for letting me get it off my chest, people.

    -Monkey






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    Happy Summertime Monkey Avatar by Trog!

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  29. - Top - End - #239
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    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    I've had a messed up week going on here, could use a little support; I feel like I'm a little tapped out atm. I found out one of my oldest friends is having debilitating panic attacks from stuff that happened to her as a kid, and learned a coworker tried to kill herself last night.

    On top of (or superseded by) all of that, my b/f and I decided to take time apart due to not getting along well for a number of reasons. I'm feeling a bit tapped out for support, and that I don't have much more to give, let alone deal with my own stuff.

  30. - Top - End - #240
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    frown Re: Personal Woes and Advice 2

    Thaco, I just saw your post. I am so sorry to hear about your chickies! It is so hard to lose a pet, but there is no pain that cannot be made worse by wondering ... @was it my fault? Did I miss something?"

    We do the best we can to care for our pets. Sometimes our best isn't enough. That you yourself suffered from heat stroke tells me there really wasn't anything you could have done differently.

    My deepest condolences to you. How terrible to lose all three of your pets. Please take care of yourself. Let us know how you are doing, okay?

    Sparky, It sounds to me that you really do have quite a lot to cope with ... not only your relationship on hiatus, but the effort of caring for others who are also going through a tough time.

    You have my sympathy, friend. I suggest that in times like this, a good tactic is to go to the movies.

    I recommend the movies because it is a way of being with a friend without having to give too much sympathy. Also, if you are in the heat wave with the rest of us, movie theaters are blessedly cool. You and your friend can have the mutal support of each others' company, without having to say much. And movies offer a little escape .... which is not a bad thing at a time of stress.

    You can combine the movie with a chat, if you are up to it. But I recommend that that happen before the movie, so it is limited, and that you have an "appointment" to keep after the movie, so you are not expected to linger indefinitely.


    -Monkey.
    Last edited by MonkeyBusiness; 2012-06-30 at 06:56 PM.
    Happy Summertime Monkey Avatar by Trog!

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