Bullying autistic kids

[pendell]

So this article showed up on Yahoo

A father of an autistic kid had a number of complaints about his son in school. This seemed very strange, because the kid hadn't demonstrated any of this behavior at home and it didn't happen when the father visited the school.

So he wired his kid. The recordings were ... eye-opening.

The recordings are raw and intense. Angry adults yell at kids to "shut up," "shut your mouth," and "knock it off." Adults have inappropriate personal conversations in front of the children, discussing how drunk they were the night before, complaining about their husbands, and talking in detail about adult issues. More than once, an adult goads Akian to the point of tears -- and then laughs at him.

"Go ahead and scream," one adult hisses menacingly at Akian. "Because guess what? You're going to get nothing… until your mouth is shut."

And later: "Oh, Akian, you are a bastard."

Related: Why autistic children are bullied more -- and bully in return

"The six and a half hours of audio I had proved that my son wasn't hitting the teacher because there was something wrong with him -- he was lashing out because he was being mocked, mistreated and humiliated," Chaifetz writes on his website, No More Teacher/Bully. "His outbursts were his way of expressing that he was being emotionally hurt at school."

Chaifetz gave the entire six-and-a-half-hour recording to the Cherry Hill School district (you can hear more of the clips here). One aide, Jodi Sgouros, was fired. Another aide and the teacher, whom the Collingswood Patch identifies as Kelly Altenburg, were reassigned but not fired.

The youtube video linked in the article has a 3 minute introduction and 14 minutes of the audio recording.

I'm wondering how common this is? *I* was a special needs student in elementary school. My teachers were professional. The other kids made my life a living hell. And while the *teachers* were professional, guidance counselors/school psychologists/psychiatrists made things quite terrible with bad diagnoses, drug prescriptions et al.

Did anyone else go through this or something like this? Any other former "special needs" students out there?

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[Castaras]

As a former special needs kid, stuff like this never happened to me from adults.

Kids, sure, because partly due to my Aspergers I came off as "different", and kids in general can be pretty harsh when it comes to other less "normal" children. I'd expect this behaviour from kids but not from the adults.

Though to be fair - the two schools I went to were very good ones. Primary school was 120ish kids "normal" school and I had one learning support assistant for my entire primary life. Secondary School had a dedicated learning support group of people who were the nicest people you could ever meet, and I can think of *one* time where one support assistant ended up ruling in favour of the girls who teasing me and a friend of mine - and karma kicked those girls further down the line.

Good that the father found this out. Awful that some of the kids had to go through all that though.

[Karoht]

I'm wondering how common this is? *I* was a special needs student in elementary school. My teachers were professional. The other kids made my life a living hell. And while the *teachers* were professional, guidance counselors/school psychologists/psychiatrists made things quite terrible with bad diagnoses, drug prescriptions et al.

Did anyone else go through this or something like this? Any other former "special needs" students out there?

When I was in elementary, I was bullied. Hard. And despite the fact that I never actually threw a single punch back, I was put in anger management, the kids who beat the tar out of me (in front of a few teachers on a smoke break at one point) who had a very clear issue with their anger, were not put in anger management. Bad diagnosis? Heck yeah.

Though maybe it was for the best. I mean, after I was constantly being suspended for doing nothing more than being beaten up, I was probably bound to snap at some point on someone. After being suspended because a kid hit me in the back of the head with a chair? Yeah, perhaps it was a good thing they taught me how to acceptably handle my anger. Maybe the teachers feared that I would retaliate against them or their precious porches, as it was clear to anyone with half a brain cell that they were a serious part of the problem at the time.

Do I believe that some special needs teachers reached a breaking point and dealt with it extremely poorly? Yes.
Do I believe that some special needs teachers secretly do this sort of thing all the time behind closed doors? Yes.
Do I believe that administrations know it is happening and do nothing until a parent makes an issue of it? Yes.


That is about the long and short of my opinion of educators. And given that their job has only got harder, not easier, the likelihood of educators taking their frustrations out on children or just not giving a darn, seems higher rather than lower.

[Ravens_cry]

I've never seen adult's at a school act anything like this, ever.

[Adlan]

My school put every 'special kid' in one place, be it Dyslexia (me), Aspergers, Other Learning Difficulties, Anger Issues or just being a little prick. I never saw anything like this from teachers, but I did see issues mishandled rather than open a can of worms, a Racist Bullying problem treated as an ordinary fight in the playground. I was punished more because I was considered a 'good' kid and those I had to write a letter of apology to those I had confronted. And I had to see them every day in the Sack (what we called the special needs department).

I'm saddened, but I wish I could say I was shocked. People made toddlers fight for their own pleasure and video taped it themselves. I wish I was shocked, but I'm not.

[Ravens_cry]

*sigh* Apelings.
They are like some drunk who was your best friend growing up, and damn, you still love them today, and when capable of coherent thought capable of so much, but they are such a mess.

[truemane]

Both of my children are/were Special Needs and it's been a mixed bag. I've never gotten wind of anything THAT bad, but I've had some bad, bad, bad educators over my years wrangling with a system whose Prime Directive is closer to incarceration than it is education.

[noparlpf]

So this article showed up on Yahoo

A father of an autistic kid had a number of complaints about his son in school. This seemed very strange, because the kid hadn't demonstrated any of this behavior at home and it didn't happen when the father visited the school.

So he wired his kid. The recordings were ... eye-opening.



The youtube video linked in the article has a 3 minute introduction and 14 minutes of the audio recording.

I'm wondering how common this is? *I* was a special needs student in elementary school. My teachers were professional. The other kids made my life a living hell. And while the *teachers* were professional, guidance counselors/school psychologists/psychiatrists made things quite terrible with bad diagnoses, drug prescriptions et al.

Did anyone else go through this or something like this? Any other former "special needs" students out there?

Respectfully,

Brian P.

What the f--
What...what.
What.
These people should be fired. Possibly jailed for abusing children.


My experiences:

Spoiler

Show

I have an Asperger's diagnosis. I went to a public school for two and a half years from second grade until I dropped out midway through fourth grade. It was hell. I didn't have an official diagnosis until a year or two later, so I didn't interact with the special needs system there. But I was bullied because I was a bit weird and because I was a year younger than my classmates. (I should have been two years younger, because I started school early, but the public school people were butts about it and it took my mum a lot of fighting to even get me into second grade for a second time, despite my having completed second grade standardised tests.)
I went to a pretty cool private school until tenth grade, and I did get some accommodations (not that I needed them) there. That was Danbury High School in Connecticut. I did see the special needs system there, and it was pretty good, I thought. It wasn't the kind of stuff I needed, but it was good for the kids who did need it, and the teachers and aides were very good.

[Karoht]

What the f--
What...what.
What.
These people should be fired. Possibly jailed for abusing children.

Possibly?
It's a very clear cut case of mental abuse, aggrivated by the fact that these kids already have a sensitive mental condition. In some cases it could even be considered child endangerment. If it were a parent with a normal child treating the child this way, social services would be calling for jail time.
Yes, jail time should be happening here.

[Emperor Ing]

What the f--
What...what.
What.
These people should be fired. Possibly jailed for abusing children.

If I could possibly QFT this any harder I would. Believe me.

[Draconi Redfir]

As a fellow aspie who was bullied all throughout middleschool, left public school around grade seven, and continued the rest of my education in a special-needs private school where i was still bullied, i can safely say that i am going to take one thing away from this.


If my child tells me they are being bullied at school, by ANYBODY, then i am going to do the same thing this man did, i'll wire the kid, listen to the recording when they get home, and show every evil voice i hear on their a peace of my mind the very next day.


And then i'll take the kid to learn kickboxing

[Drolyt]

This is... horrible. Just horrible. I mean, I remember having teachers that nobody liked, but I've never even heard of a teacher like this. I wouldn't think someone like that would want to be a teacher, much less that they would actually be allowed.

As for my own experiences, I was diagnosed with Autism, but I spent most of my time in the regular classroom because the special needs classroom wouldn't have challenged me academically. The teachers were mostly great. The kids could be mean and teased me, but on reflection I don't think most of them really understood what they were doing, and they could be perfectly nice to me much of the time. I never had actual bullies who beat me up or anything, but that might of had to do with my anger management problems at the time.

[Crimmy]

I've found, both by personal experience, and by seeing many other with a case like mine, that sometimes the "special needs" issue is just a way for teachers and/or parents to excuse themselves for not being responsible when teaching/parenting.

The meds? Another thing used merely for easing the responsibility.

In my case, it was the teachers. With two of my friends, it was their parents. It was all an excuse to keep us shut, drugged, and of course, docile. They didn't like it when I asked about something, so they decided "Hey, this kid's got a learning disability or something like that".

Later on, my mom started studying a Masters in Math Education. She learned some things about Psychology, and realized that the "learning disability" was indeed all a ruse.

I'm not saying that applies to all, but in some cases, it happens. And the point is to make a note that sometimes, teachers are not just all kindhearted, they are sometimes looking for an easy exit.

[The_Admiral]

My primary school had a special needs class. Nobody bullied them though the students of that class do not attend teachers day for obvious reasons (The annual Teachers VS Students water balloon war). No one bullied them or insulted them. Though the school was quite small. Graduating year of sixty when I was there. No bullies, just some idiots attempting to recreate counterstrike in real life. We got into trouble for that.(I smelled like fish after that)

[pendell]

So if I can sum up the thread so far, everyone who's been through the special ed system hated it, myself included. Getting trash from other kids is a given, the overall bureaucracy is a pain, but as a rule the teachers et al are professionals. Occasionally the people here have encountered a bad apple or two, but nothing like the lack of professionalism seen in the OP.

Fair?

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[Castaras]

I liked the special needs system. They were people I could talk to.

I was at a normal school, just went through the special needs people when I needed it.

The kids were bastards but they would have been anyway. I was happy when it came to the actual special needs system, and ..."enjoyed" isn't the right word, but the only one that comes to mind at the moment.

[noparlpf]

So if I can sum up the thread so far, everyone who's been through the special ed system hated it, myself included. Getting trash from other kids is a given, the overall bureaucracy is a pain, but as a rule the teachers et al are professionals. Occasionally the people here have encountered a bad apple or two, but nothing like the lack of professionalism seen in the OP.

Fair?

Respectfully,

Brian P.

Nah, the special ed system at my high school seemed pretty good for the kids who needed it. I was just always lumped into that group because of my diagnosis, despite being in the top twenty in a class of over six hundred kids two years older than I.

[Temotei]

The high school I was at was pretty good minus one questionable aide, but I don't think anyone is mistreated there. The elementary school, on the other hand, is pretty bad. Kids don't get cold water or food when they want it--they have to do things the teachers want before they can get that.

Source: Little brother has autism.

[Sodalite]

Apparently, I've been rather fortunate. I've been diagnosed with asperger's as well, and am in ninth grade as of this post. I was diagnosed in the summer between fifth and sixth grade, after which my school experience progressed consistently every year. Of my nine years schooling, I've only been bullied during the first two, and have since had a somewhat amicable relationship with m former bullies. My experience with the special needs system has been minimal, limited to an assistant teacher who would be called if I too strongly resisting class or homework. I have experienced lesser symptoms in terms social skills, which has helped me build and maintain friendships, as well as more effectively communicate with those who've tried to help me. In addition to my less-impaired social skills, I have a large build and have passed through a large portion of puberty already, which has given me a somewhat imposing appearance, which has also probably helped lessen bullying directed towards me. While I do hope that what has happened to you, and is happening to this boy and others like him, I cannot truthfully say that I've experienced anything nearing what has been described here.

[horngeek]

I've been pretty fortunate as well, it seems. As a (high-functioning, but still) Aspie, I've never had teacher bullying problems, and the one time student bullying got really bad (even then, never got physical, just verbal) the wrath of the teacher dropped directly on the offenders as soon as she knew.

[No brains]

I've had these problems or perhaps imagined I've had these problems, but people telling me that I imagine my problems is a real problem I had.

I always felt out of place and threatened by children and adults.

My difficulties were so bad I had to change schools several times.

Kindergarten and Elementary school were the worst for me, nobody cared to know what my problem was, just that I had one. So they just pushed me between horribly incompetent programs which were less likely to help me and more likely to just keep me out of others hair.

For that matter, my parents didn't care much for me either. They both have said that I ruined their lives. Then I got kicked around foster care like a hackey sack.

I'm starting to cry remembering this.

[pendell]

:Gives no brains a friendly pat on the shoulder:

I think everyone on this thread has been there one time or the other.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[Mina Kobold]

*Hugs No brains*

That sounds very sad, I wish I could help. ;_;

Re: The story. That is horrible, I can barely believe that anyone could do that, but a teacher? That, that's depressing ;_;

As for me, I was diagnosed Asperger's around fourteen, but it is not something I mention nor something I believe the Danish school system would consider special needs. Having a hearing impairment was a bigger issue back then. ^_^'

I was bullied in the first few years of school, but that got much better when the school initiated an anti-bullying campaign. I honestly suspect it was primarily a disconnect between what my bullies could shrug off and what I could shrug off.
Other than that, what little I have seen of Asperger's specific Gymnasier (~High Schools) and the Special Needs class were quite positive, if not something my (rebellious!) Early Teens self wanted.

[super dark33]

Here in israel, autistic and other special-needs kids go to special schools.

Then there are those who need retalin, who study in normal schools, these kids also have bonuses like more time in tests, ignore mistakes in spelling, a writer that writes the answeres for you and explains the quoestions you dont get, etc.


Then there are the rich kids who buy more time in tests.

Then there are the normal and/or not-that-rich kids who wont buy more time in tests.

I aint got no MTIT but i still manage to do well.

NB, there was a series of programs on the main israeli entertainmet/news channel called "The story".
It was about bullied/beaten/Forsaken kids.
The most powerfull moments in this show were when the B/B/F kids who are now adults came to visit their bullies, parents, teachers and told them "You Bullied me at school".

You should send letters anonymosly to your parents. Then when you are ready , visit them and confront your past head-on.

May the force be with you NB.

[pendell]

For No brains: I don't know if this image will show up but I'm going to try anyway.

Spoiler

Show

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[Story Time]

The following story is entirely true.


Once upon a time, I had the privilege of serving as a staff member for a group of abused children. These were the cases that...you never want to read about. Drugged, all manners of mis-diagnoses and mis-treatment from both the system and their parents. ...the kind of abuses that are against the forum rules to talk about...

Before I had volunteered for the position one of my acquaintances had related to me some news of her personal experiences with autistic individuals, both adults and children. And so that was in my mind at the time. She had mentioned that when exposed to quality music, the autistic patient tended to appear more cogent.

As it happened while I staffed, one of the children in my group was severely autistic. He spoke...thirteen times that I can recall. Not to me, but in my presence. Total.

One particular day I happened to catch him trying to make a pop-sickle stick craft and appearing very frustrated. ...the kind of face-projecting hate that only comes from wounds that...I'd rather not imagine. So...I sat with him and held the pop-sickle sticks. And I hummed. I didn't sing, but kept a slow and predictably rhythmic tune.

...and that after-noon was the most peaceful and productive one that I think he experienced while there.


To all those who have been the victims of some injustice, I send you my sympathies.

[Castaras]

One particular day I happened to catch him trying to make a pop-sickle stick craft and appearing very frustrated. ...the kind of face-projecting hate that only comes from wounds that...I'd rather not imagine. So...I sat with him and held the pop-sickle sticks. And I hummed. I didn't sing, but kept a slow and predictably rhythmic tune.

...and that after-noon was the most peaceful and productive one that I think he experienced while there.

Not at all surprised. Music is very often useful for autism. For me, I can't live without my music. And I love it because of it's logic - which results in me hating a lot of the modern classical stuff that did some illogical stuff deliberately.

[Traab]

I dont have aspergers but I do have pretty severe ADHD and got diagnosed in like, kindergarten I think. I must have dodged a dozen bullets as I was always able to stay out of special ed. My biggest issue was anger control, and even under heavy medication I would still randomly snap under provocation and start swinging. I used to get suspended as many as 4 times a year for fighting. (This was back before zero tolerance, 10 days suspension with maybe 10 in school on top of it) It probably wouldnt have been as big of an issue if I didnt move every year and go to a new school where the wannabe bullies hadnt learned to back off yet.

Worst I ever had to deal with was snotty teachers who knew my triggers and insisted on grinding away at them then complaining when fights broke out. As an example, probably the easiest way to make me hurt you is to call me a liar. Some smartass teacher decided something was my fault without any proof then insisted on punishing me in front of the whole class while telling me im a liar, not letting me leave the room even though I knew an eruption was coming, (despite having been told by the principal, nurse and my mother that that was the way to handle these things) then had the gall to act upset with me when I finally lost it on him. Yeah dumbass, you keep poking the lion with a stick and its going to maul you. Makes no sense to get upset with the lion when it tears your arm off. He got chewed out in the end and I got no punishment since the entire class backed me up on what happened and how I tried to leave to defuse it but the nimrod wouldnt let me.

So again, despite some rare rough spots, I generally was treated ok by the staff. Students? Meh, I was on Ritalin, which suppressed my appetite for years. I was skinny, short, and a total nerd, so of course I got picked on. Hence fights every year. It usually took 2-3 for the kids to learn to leave me alone, but then I would go to a new school next year and have to repeat the process.

Probably the main reason I never went to special ed was a combination of things. I tended to ace all my tests, and i never started fights, it was pretty much always self defense or under heavy provocation. Worst teacher ever was non special ed related, but she was a nasty piece of work. Always insulting and nasty to everyone, but she seemed to have a special hatred for me. She would say things like, "Ok, now do any intelligent people know the answer to this question?" Id raise my hand and get a sneer and reply of, "I said intelligent people."

[Squark]

Wow. I had no idea how lucky I'd gotten. I mean, sure, it hasn't all been smooth sailing, but after I transfered out of that mess that was my first elementary school (Real problem was it was just a bad neighborhood, frankly. Mix of jerks, people with family issues, and a couple of kids who really needed a lot more help than a single counselor could provide). The next school was fantastic (I will never understand why that of all schools was made into a STEM school. It was a fantastic group of teachers and a wonderful principle). 6th grade finally had me diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Middle School wasn't too bad, although with horomones running high and me still not having found the right crowd of friends, things weren't perfect. But the special ed teachers were really helpful, and pulling me out of that Chaotic mess they called a lunchroom saved me an immense ammount of anguish both there and in high school.

High School... Reading about some of the horror stories here, I have to say I was incredibly fortunate. Teachers were excellent (although a few probably should have been teaching a more advanced class. I really don't know what the problem with my Chemistry class was. To my knowledge, I was just parroting what the teacher had taught us, but for some reason when it was me saying it, the other students understood it much better), and my Case Manager, affectionate jibes from some of the other students not withstanding, was a fantastic guy, and I probably wouldn't be the person I am without his influence.

I've seen both ends of the medicine debate. I was taken off one medication during the period following my diagnosis because It made me so incredibly passive (Or so I've been told. I hadn't noticed a difference, but both my parents and my teachers noticed it, and the teachers hadn't even been told about the medication). On the other hand, the medication I'm still on really does help me control my anxiety and my temper.

If I had to make a generalization from this thread, it's that Disabilties Services programs tend to vary wildly in quality and the ammount of support they can provide. And that there are some people in those programs who really should never have been given a teaching license.

[GFawkes]

Looking at all these stories, I consider myself extremely lucky. I was diagnosed with Asperger's at 14, midway through freshman year in high school. I had gone to a private school for elementary through middle school where each student chose 1 thing to study at the beginning of the year and stuck with it until mid-February, then they'd switch to something else until school got out in June.

In high school, the worst that happened to me was that I wasn't picked on, or really spoken to at all. I think I only had 10 conversations total outside of class where the topic wasn't what we'd just been over in class.

The worst blow to me came when I tried to start a relationship with someone. I'll just say that it didn't go well and leave it at that.

Now that I've given my story, there is one question I have:

Would this story have gained the same attention if the kid wasn't autistic?