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  1. - Top - End - #1321
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    PsychoBear's Avatar

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    Default Re: More Funny D&D Stories

    Actually, I have another story I remember that was pretty good at the time. Might as well put that here, too, for chuckles. This one is Pathfinder.

    The party:
    Human Alchemist, Rowan Strayts: (Me) Dresses as a Plague Doctor, incredible modifier to Heal. Focuses on non-magical healing, as well as Alchemy
    Undine Sorcerer, Radid O'Physh: Sorcerer who wears nothing but a loincloth and has enough strength that his tendency to want to punch people more valid than you might think. Also has an obsession with Fire spells
    Human? Psychic, Anny G'Ma: Empathy focused psychic of some kind. A really nice person, but looks exactly like Megamind, but not blue.
    Human? Oracle?, Monica: Basically looked like a little girl. I'm assuming she was an Oracle with that one curse/mystery which makes you appear as a child. Really dark kid.

    The premise of the campaign was that we were all students in a magical academy, hence all players being some kind of caster class. We were near graduating, and had to set out on an adventure to research our thesis topic and write it.

    The part was traveling down a road in a forest, and noticed through perception checks that each of them was missing a personal belonging. They see ahead of them a gnome retreating, carrying a large sack. The party gave chase, following him to a meadow full of flowers. Being a gnome, he was well hidden among the plants. Our sorcerer decides to use Burning Hands to set fire to the field to burn him out, with encouragement from my character. After burning away a section of the meadow, we see a hole in the ground that he must've retreated into.

    While deciding what to do, a centaur ran up to us, brandishing a weapon, asking what was going on and why we set fire to this holy place (this meadow held religious significance and we were unaware). I rolled bluff and said, essentially, that we chased a thieving gnome here, who set fire to the meadow to cover his escape. OOC there was a lot of laughter had and the sorcerer backed up my bluff, corroborating with my story. The centaur believed us and allowed us to continue our chase, which involved us diving into the hole in the ground.

    From then on, whenever we lied about something we did, it was a running joke that we blamed it on a gnome.
    Last edited by PsychoBear; 2017-09-26 at 09:23 AM.

  2. - Top - End - #1322
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    dehro's Avatar

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    This happened last Friday.
    We're playing epic characters, putting together an interplanar alliance to defeat the BBEG and her allies.
    To gain Clangeddin's trust and his armies, we have vowed to clear out a sacred temple of his that has been invaded by common ennemies.
    To fix things we must reach the holiest shrine, an artifact that has been corrupted, and purify it/stop the bad guys from using it.
    After a few sessions of struggles, most of us reach the floor where the room is that we've been looking for.
    We wander around until we stumble upon some kind of weird Stone/Earth dragon. Since we've spent most of our energies and spells trying to get there and not getting any rest, we're having quite a hard time. Also, a series of unfortunate events makes it so that we've lost a lot of equipment and are having to make do with lower quality stuff.
    I myself am mostly spent, but since I'm a high ranking cleric of Bahamut I am duty bound to do all I can to defeat the dragon.
    I have 0 chance to tackle him in melee and survive, and most of my spells have been spent, so I decide to pull out all the stops and cast Portal to summon an ally.
    Not having time to bargain with a random and more powerful entity, I decide to summon a Dragon from Celestia, on the pretense that I've been fighting alongside them for ages so they'll just jump in the fray as soon as I summon them. Exept that by the time the summoning is completed, the Stone dragon has taken enough hits for him to decide to call it a day and melt away in the stone.
    So here I am, standing around and having to explain to my ally why I called him to attack an empty hallway. This cost me 1000xp and one of my few 9th slot spells.

    Some more wandering later, we finally reach the place we've been looking for, the shrine where the artifact is housed.
    Gearing up for what we assume to be the final battle of this particular dungeon, I spend my last buffing spells and port ourselves beyond the sealed doors to the room.
    Here we find ourselves facing not only a Red Great Wyrm and some kind of Earth/Stone Dragon, but also her boss, the BBEG herself.

    Some trashtalking later, the battle begins and I find myself with very little chance to do anything, countered by a moral imperative to destroy the Great Wyrm. (also, I expect the other dragon is bound to join the battle in a few rounds)-
    Unable to do much else, I come up with what I assume is a clever plan to possibly end the campaign without having to actually mobilize the entire multiverse. I rapid cast dimensional anchor on the BBEG, followed by expending a miracle to cast Portal again (at the cost of 5000 more xp on account of how I'm not supposed to be able to replicate 9th level spells), this time applying the other effect of the spell.
    I cross the portal to Celestia, landing at the gate of Bahamut's castle, followed by a handful of evil mooks.
    I quickly explain the situation to the wardens of the gate, who engage in battle with the mooks and then prepare to follow me.
    In the meantime, in the room the BBEG and the Great Wyrm are taking some damage but seem to shrug off most of it.
    My party members all think I've done a runner but are coping fairly well in the battle, despite their primary healer not being around anymore.
    At one point the BBEG implodes, revealing that she's nothing but an illusion.
    The next illusion manages to dispell my portal... so there I am, standing at the other end of a vanished portal.
    I find myself obliged to cast yet another miracle to recreate the portal.
    By the time I and my allies cross this portal however, the BBEG, this time not an illusion, casts a spell that allows her to manipulate time... so when I get in the room followed by 3 badass dragons, once again, the BBEG AND the Great Wyrm have vanished (my dimensional anchor was cast upon an illusion so it didn't take on the actual BBEG).

    So, yes, we completed our mission, but twice in a row, I mobilised some very powerful allies only for them to land in an empty room.
    Adding insult to injury, this cost me a total of 11.000xp, not a great deal at these levels, but still enough to see everybody else in the party level up except myself.
    I fully expect that should I try this again, my fellow dragons will accuse me of crying wolf and leave me hanging.

    Tl;Dr I spend a crapton of XP to summon allies to fight empty rooms, look like a fool and can't even level up
    Last edited by dehro; 2017-09-17 at 02:27 PM.
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  3. - Top - End - #1323
    Pixie in the Playground
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    I previously posted the story in which I gained the nickname "The pancake paladin". For those unfamiliar:
    Spoiler: Pancake paladin I
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    We were travelling along when we encountered a Shepard searching for his lost sheep. With my wisdom of 5, I ask Vax to throw me and the halfling into the air repeatedly, to search for sheep.

    All of our healing spells later, the halfling and I are below half when Vax launches himself up into the air with a roll somewhere north of 20.

    Unfortunately, as a paladin with a strict code, I had to do everything in my power to help my party. Which included trying to catch him. A minotaur falling from 30 feet up. When I was level 1. With less than half my hit points left.

    A large amount of 1's on the DM's 10d6 damage and 2 failed death saving throws later, Vax stabilised the Pancake Paladin.


    And now to the stories:

    Spoiler: Pancake Paladin II
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    We were dungeon crawlin' and or minotaur had gotten caught in some wires. My character draw his blade to free his ally...
    DM: You successfully cut through the wire. However, you then hear a rumbling sound as a boulder comes rushing towards-
    Me: I CHARGE!

    And yet, after 27 damage, I still had more hit points than anyone else in the party (We're level five)

    Spoiler: Knock, knock
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    Our cleric has found limitless uses for spiritual weapon (door).
    Enemies: door slam
    Pit trap: door bridge
    Locked door: summon the door on an adjacent wall
    Boulder crushes paladin and is quickly rolling toward you: just... door

  4. - Top - End - #1324
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Three stories today:

    #1: when the gunslinger was introduced, our halfling ranger said, "Hey, why don't you sell those guns? We could make a fortune, even create a country. And we shall call this land America". Our ranger failed the persuasion DC by one.

    #2: the necronomicon is a book that drives the reader mad. Our warlock of Cthulhu found it, and instead of burning it, replaced the cover and gave it to the cleric. My paladin rolled perception to notice this.
    And got a -2. (Tip: don't have a 5 wisdom if you're also not proficient in perception). Now my character think's that he's a duck.

    #3: Our warlock had found a key (to Cthulhu's cell, but we didn't know that yet). The warlock asked the DM what the key unlocked, and before DM could answer, the ranger said, "It's the key to my heart..."

    Summary: tried to found America, got an insane paladin, and the key to Cthulhu's cell is also the key to our ranger's heart

  5. - Top - End - #1325
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    BlackDragon

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    So not a true funny story but a funny outcome.
    In the grand melee I ran it had, for a tournament 2 Major NPC's, 7 Nameless NPC's, and 4 PC's in it this huge fight that went on for well over 10 rounds as it was in part a free for all between all these various characters the higher up the ranks the better your prize and loot.
    At the end of it all the winner was the one character without a melee weapon in the Brawler type character using gauntlets.
    The duelist, PC lost
    The pirate, PC with a large bastard sword lost
    The NPC with a tower shield and heavy armour lost
    The 2 nameless knights in full plate lost
    The 2 nameless knights with spears with breastplate and shields lost
    The NPC with a greatsword and berserker stuff lost
    The duelist/mage, PC lost(no magic in the melee really helped with that), but they still made it to the final 6
    No of all these badass characters wielding dangerous weapons or a non-lethal version of them and all of that, just added up and the person who won is the brawler. Yeah I know this huge collection of stuff and it was a fantastic fight and end too it. The only sad thing was the duelist being salty about losing and only getting 3rd(they could have gotten second but because they glory hounded they did not)
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    Rogue vs. Dog. (The new Cat vs. Commoner, only not amusing!)
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    You are making the assumption of rational planning. After 37 years of dungeon crawling, I still have zero evidence that the average dungeon was designed by the sane.
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  6. - Top - End - #1326
    Pixie in the Playground
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    I DMed for the first time on a one-shot that was just me and one player. The player was playing a rakshasa sorcerer 1/cleric 4/true necromancer 8 named I Don't Know.
    Spoiler
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    I had thought that I Don't Know would spend quite a while asking questions to discover the clichéd dungeon villain's lair, have a battle with the guards, and lose a heap of health to the traps. However, that's not at all what happened. The player managed to find the location of the dungeons within 10 minutes and bluffed past the first set of guards. I figured that the traps would not be so easy... but they were. Mechanical traps: extended fly means that none of the pressure plates were touched. Magic traps: detect magic saw them coming a mile away. Heavy steel door with a riddle: dimension door. The monster's didn't fare much better. The warrior-types were all melee, so I Don't Know just flew up to the ceiling and battered them the spells. The casters were even worse, as I Don't Know had spell resistance 35. Finally, instead of arriving at the final room battered, bruised and out of healing spells, I Don't Know arrived at the final room with a heap of loot, two skeletal servants and down only one cure moderate wounds and five potions.
    Then the BBEG and the goon squad (BBEG+2 humans+2 iced devils) arrived, and it was in fact revealed that I Don't Know had been tricked into activating all of traps, and lead them right to-
    Mass hold person. Saving throws of seven, five and three paralysed the BBEG and half of the minions. The BBEG was slaughtered in two rounds, one of the ice devils never hit once, the two minions that were paralysed couldn't break free, and the last ice devil tried using cone of cold to blast I Don't Know but only overcame spell resistance once, on a nat 20... then it turned out I Don't Know had cast protection from cold. So I Don't Know his two skeletal minions ripped the boss battle apart

    Spoiler: Or did they...
    Show
    It should be noted that there had been an imp that kept on bugging I Don't Know. It had never done any damage, but it kept on teleporting away until I Don't Know locked it down with a dimensional anchor spell. With the BBEG dead, it negotiated for it's freedom... then went over the centre over the room and grabbed a hidden staff. THE IMP WAS THE BBEG ALL ALONG, AND NOW IT HAS AN ARTEFACT, THE STAFF OF METOER SWARMS! BWAHAHAHAHA! I also gave the staff a caster level of thirty to overcome that darn spell resistance of thirty five that I Don't Know had. On three out of four rounds of ensuing combat, meteor swarm to the face! was actually rolling a 34 against spell resistance 35. On the one round that I did overcome spell resistance, I rolled... 25, 22, nat 1 and 25 against touch AC 26. While the imp's level 30 meteor swarms kept on bouncing off of the Face of Steel, I Don't Know just piled on the disintegrates and quickened inflict light wounds until the devil was dead

    TL;DR: single player breezes past all puzzles, avoids all traps and books, annihilates the BBEG, then the real BBEG shoots meteor swarms at his face for 4 rounds and does no damage. At all. The dice have betrayed me. The BBEG never rolled above six. Not once.

  7. - Top - End - #1327
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Griffon

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    Default Re: More Funny D&D Stories

    So I'm DMing a Steampunk, floating island, type game. On the second meet I created these pills that have you roll on a d100 table of random effects (Some are from "Totally Random Magic Effects Table - Angelfire.") What happened next was absolute chaos. Everyone in the party(except for the cleric who was the designated driver for obvious reasons) would take the pills basically every other second. There were good things that happened (ie, being granted a wish,) or there were bad things that happened (ie, only being able to see the color green for 3 days,) but things eventually took a turn for the worse. What happened first was Death coming to claim someone. So the character challenged Death that if he couldn't answer a riddle. Death agreed. The character's riddle was "What will happen when i eat this pill?" So Death guessed and the character ate the pill. Now you need to remember. There was a 1/100 chance that he would roll what he did. 24. Fireball. You cast Fireball centered on yourself. So there they were. On a wooden airship. With the Grimm reaper. Everyone barely alive. With the ship on fire. I ended up having a fire elemental put out the fire and give them a talk about non recreational use of fire as the Grimm reaper disappeared assuming that they were going to die soon anyway. Now you'd think that after something like that happening they would stop taking these pills. No. 51. Resurrection? The nearest dead thing becomes resurrected in it’s current form (eg. a bear skin rug would become a live bearskin rug) food doesn’t count. I couldn't stop laughing when one of the characters got in a fight with their leather pants.

  8. - Top - End - #1328
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    PsychoBear's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lavranzo View Post
    The Evil Bard: "This battle will be my masterpiece. The horrors of battle shall be accompanied by the ringing of warbells, the songs of dying screams, the drumming of blades upon shield and the thunder of thousandfold arrows whistling through the air, letting out a thump as they penetrate the bloodied armours of couragous men. I shall accompany this death's sonata, this requiem of life, possibly as my last action, and I shall be thrilled with every deathly moment of it. Now, friends, comes the day of the red harpers final piece."
    It may not be a funny story, but that is a really awesome speech.

  9. - Top - End - #1329
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Beholder

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    Default Re: More Funny D&D Stories

    Ever seen a mushroom kill itself?
    That happened.
    It was a sad day for fungus kind.
    DM's law; Don't tell them how stupid their idea is until it is already too late to reverse it.
    Generation 20. Every time you see a generation, copy it into your Sig and add one. This is a social experiment.

  10. - Top - End - #1330
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    dehro's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by TrT8r View Post
    Ever seen a mushroom kill itself?
    That happened.
    It was a sad day for fungus kind.
    I bet whoever came up with that plot twist was a fungi..

    I'll go hide under the table, now...
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    the Badass Monkby Avi. Aktarus by Chd. Dehro by Wojiz


  11. - Top - End - #1331
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Beholder

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    My stepsister was confused when the violet mushrooms (that I described as fungi) weren't actually 'fun guys'.
    Last edited by TrT8r; 2017-10-12 at 08:00 PM.
    DM's law; Don't tell them how stupid their idea is until it is already too late to reverse it.
    Generation 20. Every time you see a generation, copy it into your Sig and add one. This is a social experiment.

  12. - Top - End - #1332
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    BlackDragon

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    Spoiler: Not a D&D story but a fun one more or less
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    Not a D&D story but I'm incorporating the idea into the next time I run Pathfinder or D&D.

    So my gf has been playing the new Shadow of Mordor video game, and well here is the story of 'The Machine'. This takes place over multiple play sessions of the game
    And I think it would be perfect for a game where the players are either immortal or semi-immortal what have you.

    His actual name is Tarak and he is an orc that has done a lot.
    In her first encounter she killed 'The Machine' by cutting off his right arm.
    Probably an hour later he returned angry and biting for vengeance this time she during the battle throws him off a ledge for the 'kill'.
    So we both has a laugh and she continued too play.
    Probably between 2 and 5 hours later he returns now with a piece of metal strapped to his jaw and a new immunity to arrows. Another hard fought battle that ends in her victory over him(cutting off the same arm) but then her death to a underling continues the game.
    So now she is a little skittish because we are not sure what can or will kill him, besides removing his head.
    Going into it we are making jokes about the machine only for during a mission him to ambush her at which point she explodes him 'killing' him for the 4th time, so I say that he should hopefully stay down this time and we talk about me playing the game too hunt and kill him for her.
    So then we are are moving right along when 'The Machine' ambushes her with a new eye-patch on and scares the crude out of her and they do battle this time he kills her as he's gained 'No Last Chance' and wrecks her day, the poor thing.
    So now the machine has started too even up the score, with 1 kill by his hand and being directly involved in another.
    Now then her goal becomes track down and get revenge and she does it cutting him in half so we both assume that will work like beheading... nope probably and hour or 2 later he shows up as a unknown captain and has gotten himself a Dire Caragor, joy and fortune for him. Tracking him she attacks and finds out he rages from any injury now, yeah well this time thankfully he was not on his steed too bad though as he still proceeds too kill her with a thrown dagger.
    He's making up for lost ground now, with 2 Direct, and 1 Indirect : Meanwhile she has killed him 5 different times.
    So they come up again as she's doing a mission and she triggers his one fear and he's gone as well he's riding a Caragor and she can't keep up. So no victory for either side and things are a toss up as the orc with her on the mission turns traitor during it.
    With how much of a thorn he's been she goes too hunt him down again killing his Caragor and with timely assistance from a archer she cuts him open again along the gut.
    Your thinking it yeah he's down? Nope he's back during the next mission she does not 20 or 30 minutes later with a huge gash thing along his chest. They square up she has beaten him more times but is shivering a bit poor thing and they do battle sadly though this time 'The Machine' prevails more closely evening the score. But more then that it does the time lapse of for events and 'The Machine' proceeds too kill the Warchief becoming the new master of the fortress for the area we are currently in.
    This causes her to have a brief panic attack and after some comforting we closed out the game for the day.
    So now its all almost all evened up 6 to 4 and the thing is if she does not recruit him here he's gone because as a Warchief if he dies he stays dead and cannot return.
    Now the plan is tomorrow for her too try her hands at him.


    So my idea from that for D&D for a fun story is too have a Orc show up periodically through the campaign to do battle with the players. As the orc has gotten contingency raise dead on himself, now then throughout the campaign the party is gonna encounter, fight with or against him throughout it and no matter what the goal is his death too re-appear each time just as a side things nothing major.

    Though it also reinvigorated my want too run a game where the players are semi-immortal like highlanders for that added interest too what one could do with it.
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    Rogue vs. Dog. (The new Cat vs. Commoner, only not amusing!)
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    You are making the assumption of rational planning. After 37 years of dungeon crawling, I still have zero evidence that the average dungeon was designed by the sane.
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  13. - Top - End - #1333
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    HalflingPirate

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    Now this was an intentionally short 2-3 hour campaign. As such, rules were, well, flexible. Beginning with character creation, this was pathfinder by the way, we could choose any class, level 2. But the GM chose the race. I ended up as Versio Benanichi, the halfling barbarian. My friend, the only other player, was Ulgroth Effinbeard, the dwarf ranger. We began working out stats, choosing skills, all that, when the GM tells us, oh yeah, you have 4 minutes left to make your character, anything not written down you don't get. Neither of us had feats of items, including armor and weapons.

    We started in a mercenary guild and we had to go to a town two days away to meet the requester. Our first course of action was to get some armor and weapons, as luckily we wrote down our gold. We go to the blacksmith and the GM rolled to see if he was open which he was. Ulgroth asked for a great crossbow and a chain shirt. The smith said that'll be 185 gp. Now I know he's getting ripped off, but he takes it without a second thought. When I ask for a chain coat and greatsword I try to bargain, he crit fails counter diplomacy, I get it all free.

    We then look for food and the general store is closed. The inn is closed. In fact, it was apparently a miracle the smith was open as the town was on holiday. In fact, the smith immediately closes. So we had to go two days, and neither of us had food. So I suggested we try to hunt around town. We see a wood in the bushes and I know right then, if there's one wolf, there is more than one wolf. So I tell our ranger to shoot it. One problem. He forgot it buy bolts for his crossbow. Still not wanting to approach directly and get ambushed, we throw rocks at it. Ulgroth misses, I hit, and three wolves come charging at us. Or rather, Ulgroth. He could only use his crossbow like a club. He dies, I get out fine.

    And thus appears Ulgroth Effinbeard the Second. We meet and wonder who this imposter who just died was before quickly dismissing it and heading to the next town with our wolf meet, completely unperturbed by this. Unfortunately our first encounter is a troll who wants us to pay the troll toll, so we give him our meet, but now we have no food. This leads into our second encounter. Something approaches from behind and we turn around to find... an unassuming fox.

    Now, knowing our GM I knew immediately that he would pull some bull**** on us if we attacked it, but we needed food so we attack it anyway. And miss. And miss again. Ulgroth hits it with his crossbow, not with any bolts, and the fox reveals itself to be a kitsune whose honor has been insulted by the blow. They begin fighting, but I'm left out of it. I just shout encouraging things like, "Just don't kill each other." To which the kitsune replies "This is a battle of honor, not death." So I sit out just fine, when the kitsune crits, instantly killing Ulgroth on accident, apologizing, looting the body, and leaving.

    Then down the path appears who else but Ulgroth Effinbeard the Third. Again wondering for little more than a moment why there are so many Ulgroth imposters, we carry on. Now we still had no food so we try foraging and come up with barely enough to feed one. Ulgroth lets me have it, takes the starving penalty. The next day we carry on.

    We encounter, one at a time, three and people in tattered rags who apparently had their homes burned down by bandits. I have them a good each and Steve, John, and Jacob moved on. Then an officer of the law appeared, asking if we'd seen three criminals, Alexander, Michael, and Stevenson, which I mentioned the previous trio. But he's sure it's not them, the names are wrong. But he's suddenly suspicious of us. Eventually he attacks me, we fight, and it ends when the three men I gave coins two come back, kill him, and as they're leaving wink, saying, "We're all criminals now, right?"

    I panic, we hide the body leaving his 15-20 crit range rapier, called Raccard's rapier, since it could be identified in town. We do take the food though. We head into town, I tell the guard that three criminals killed an officer of the law and find out... he was just a performer, and the guards don't care. At all.

    Ulgroth goes to a blacksmith to get bolts, which that blacksmith didn't have, but he did get a free dagger, though he continues to use his crossbow as an improvised weapon anyways. I go to the mercenary guild to find out who our employer is. It's some performer named Raccard. He's well connected though, comes from a wealthy family. We panic a bit, but decide to fulfill his request to find his sister whose been kidnapped anyways.

    We take the request from the parents, and a guard of the house tells us to check her room first. We do. I rolled perception high enough to see that the room was disheveled. "Alright, search this room for some evidence as to who might have taken her!" Ulgroth who got a nat 20 grabs my head and points it towards the gaping hole in the wall. "Excellent my dear Watson!"

    I look outside to discover a trail of destroyed trees through the forest leading away from the manor. We cautiously begin to explore. And from behind appears... Anna! The girl we were looking for. There's just one problem. She's a huge raging hulk right now. We try diplomacy, which fails. I get hit. I know I can take maybe two more hits, so I decide to flee despite the fact that less than a minute before I had explained why fleeing was an bad idea. Ulgroth flees after me. We both have the same movement speed, both get hit when she catches up immediately. I have 8 HP left, Ulgroth has 3. I make the best call I can. I push Ulgroth into the raging hulk and book it. I look back and say, "I'll give my regards to Ulgroth the Fourth!" and watch as a single tear runs down his face, before his head is squashed like a grape.

    I get a head start, and eventually hide, before successfully sneaking back to the manor. I inform them of the situation (aside from Ulgroth's) and they decide the only course of action is for 6 wizards to burn the forest to the ground. I get payed 100 gold, and return to the mercenary guild.

    But there's an air of unease. Raccard's body had been found with greatsword wounds matching my own bloodstained weapon. They ask me if I did it. Knowing I had no way to bluff I admit it, expecting the GM to give me karma for my betrayal. But before I can finish my excuse I'm bought drinks and given a free carriage ride back to town, since apparently he was molesting orphans and no one could do anything since he was backed up by his family.

    I returned home lauded as a hero as Ulgroth's ashes lay in the forest. And that is the tale of Ulgroth Effinbeard the Unlucky and Versio Benanichi the Betrayer.

  14. - Top - End - #1334
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DwarfClericGuy

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    Adventures in a 10ft wide corridor. One side is a wall and the other is an approaching gelatinous cube.

    The cube swallows the gnome. The barbarian swings into the cube and accidentally kills the gnome.

  15. - Top - End - #1335
    Halfling in the Playground
     
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    Never try to attack a tenth level wizard in his own office... especially when you're a level one Warlock.
    DM's law; Don't tell them how stupid their idea is until it is already too late to reverse it.
    Generation 20. Every time you see a generation, copy it into your Sig and add one. This is a social experiment.

  16. - Top - End - #1336
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    new campaign in a dragonlance setting- Iìm playing a noble character, one I'm actually building with levels in the noble class.
    for background reasons I spent almost every GP that was given in my budget, so when the adventure started I was in dire need of finding a well paid job. One other character was also something of a noble, at least by background, but saved most of that character creation coin.. the other 2 characters either don't have much to spend on or reach the extreme of not having much of a concept of money and therefore try to pay for everything in rabbits they hunt for that purpose, whilst carrying around those strange pieces of metal people keep giving them.
    I'm honour bound to not take advantage of them.
    so when we found a well paid little adventure/task, I thought things were looking up... except of course the job revealed itself to be a bust.
    Never fear, the guy who recruited us (only to frame us as accomplices in a murder plot) still decided to pay us the agreed upon sum.. only for the other noble to throw that money back at him and proudly declare we wouldn't take his ill-gotten reward.
    My character was less than happy about that move, but couldn't disagree with it.
    This is all the more galling when the personal mission my character is on is to restore the family fortune... at this pace, I'll starve to death... or be forced to start hunting rabbits myself.
    Huzza! for Linkele, for drawing the bestest avatar ever!
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  17. - Top - End - #1337
    Halfling in the Playground
     
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    We were invading a party (Me, rogue/warlock 1, and B, rogue 2), and we were tasked with assassinating this one guy, plus whoever else at the party, with an waterborne pathogen. We decide that smoke bombs would do the trick, along with the 'scroll method'. The way that that worked was, I would lower a silk line into the guys drink and poor the pathogen down the line. But first, we had to get in. B pretended to be a dancer, using his cloak of displacement to add effect. I just used slippers of spider climb and walked up a wall, into a window. When I get in there, people start coming in, so I hide atop a bookshelf. I roll a crit fail for stealth, and I am spotted. One guy starts yelling for his secretary, Percy, to alert the guards. I ran outside the door and killed Percy, imitating his voice well enough to pass bluff. I bury his body under floor boards. I roll to put them back with disadvantage. Guess what I roll? A CRITICAL AND A CRITICAL FAILURE. Of course, the other guy sees me, and I kill him too. Meanwhile, B is being interrogated by an undercover guard. She rolled at LEAST 3 Nat 20s during the interrogation, not to mention various 17s, 18s, and 19s. With a few EXTREMELY luck rolls, B gets out O.K., abeit with a broken nose. Fast forward, I find scaffolding and an access to the dining hall. B is up in performing. He passes his checks with Flying colors, only rolling less than ten twice. I lower the line and get the poison in, he detonates the smoke bombs, and runs out. I was proud of myself.
    Then, the giant spiders came.
    A lot of spiders.
    DM's law; Don't tell them how stupid their idea is until it is already too late to reverse it.
    Generation 20. Every time you see a generation, copy it into your Sig and add one. This is a social experiment.

  18. - Top - End - #1338
    Orc in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGirl

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    Yesterday's session, my party walked into an inn, and saw 2 dwarves playing a drinking game. I looked at my druidess' CON score of 12, and i was like, yeah whatever, i will challenge those dwarves to a drinking contest. A few other NPCs joined in too, including a barbarian. Everyone chipped in 10 gp to the pot, and it was at 60 gp in total. I only had 17 gp, and I thought to myself, what was I thinking? Beating dwarves and barbarians at drinking, when they have massive CON scores compared to mine? But I was in the mood for doing something stupid, so I went ahead with it.

    In the end, I won due to the 3.5e alcohol and intoxication rules. It works like this: Every round we roll a CON check (DC11 because common ale), if fail, take 1d2 damage to DEX and WIS scores. Whichever score reach 0 first, you are out. The DC goes up every round after the 1st. Sure my CON was mediocre, I failed it almost every round. But I had plenty of DEX and WIS (16 and 19 respectively), so I was able to tank the ability score damage until all of them passed out. It was hilarious to see a young savage girl who grew up in the wilds outdrinking burly men haha.
    Last edited by Jerrykhor; 2017-11-10 at 01:04 AM.

  19. - Top - End - #1339
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    RedWizardGuy

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    I once climbed inside a giant frog an cast thunderwave. It blew up. Moral of the story? When ever you're fighting giant frogs or toads, make sure you have a spell that expels a great force. If you do, climb inside it and blow it up.
    I'm tired.

    Yar! I'm a signature virus, copy me into your signature!

  20. - Top - End - #1340
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    Quote Originally Posted by Darokar View Post
    I once climbed inside a giant frog an cast thunderwave. It blew up. Moral of the story? When ever you're fighting giant frogs or toads, make sure you have a spell that expels a great force. If you do, climb inside it and blow it up.
    This is why the "Chews Food Thoroughly Before Swallowing" ability is far more powerful than the "Swallows Whole" ability.
    Thri-Kreen Ranger/Psionicist by me, based off of Rich's A Monster for Every Season

  21. - Top - End - #1341
    Pixie in the Playground
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    We were doing a level 20 5e one-shot set in lord of the rings during the first war against Sauron. So after a few hours we found Sauron and stabbed him until he died, then stabbed him until he died again. So the rogue/paladin decide to take the ring, but was immediately dominated, so I knocked him out. Out of character, I was warned, "Don't grab the ring, I'll dominate you", to which I replied cheerfully, "Don't worry, I have an AWESOME wisdom save!"
    Natural one.
    So then Elrond through us both into the lava. (We survived and became very annoyed)

    A while later, I decided to run a one-shot of my own. 3.5, level 14. At the beginning, one of the players asked whether he could have knowledge (physics) as a skill. It ended killing cultists on the moon and chatting with Bigby.

  22. - Top - End - #1342
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    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Just last night, some friends and I were starting a new campaign at level one. After doing some service for the town, we were asked to investigate an old barrow. It had the usual supernatural shenanigans going on, strange noises, unearthly light, blah blah blah. So we decided it was ghosts pretty much instantly, but we had no way magic weapons to hit them. Suddenly, the gnome ranger got an idea. He reasoned that while the ghosts might attack us, there was no way they would attack other ghosts! So he stole some sheets and disguised the party by draping the sheets over them, Charlie Brown style. None of us thought it would work, until he got a nat 20 on his persuasion check and made some convincing ghost noises. The other ghosts believed we were ghosts as well, and let us stroll right through the barrow until we found the artifact that had haunted the place and removed it.

  23. - Top - End - #1343
    Halfling in the Playground
     
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    I need an answer ASAP
    How do I prevent a tamed rust monster from rusting everything that gets near it? Would an enchanted cloaked work?
    I am seriously doing this.
    Xaar will have his pet.
    DM's law; Don't tell them how stupid their idea is until it is already too late to reverse it.
    Generation 20. Every time you see a generation, copy it into your Sig and add one. This is a social experiment.

  24. - Top - End - #1344
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Randuir's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by TrT8r View Post
    I need an answer ASAP
    How do I prevent a tamed rust monster from rusting everything that gets near it? Would an enchanted cloaked work?
    I am seriously doing this.
    Xaar will have his pet.
    They rust stuff to eat it, so maybe keep it properly fed? Also, maybe make a seperate thread for this?
    Jasnah avatar by Zea Mays

  25. - Top - End - #1345
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Quote Originally Posted by TrT8r View Post
    I need an answer ASAP
    How do I prevent a tamed rust monster from rusting everything that gets near it? Would an enchanted cloaked work?
    I am seriously doing this.
    Xaar will have his pet.
    Kill it, stuff it, mount it on the wall.
    Dream of the Endless avatar by linklele.
    I have an extended signature now. God knows why.

  26. - Top - End - #1346
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    TeChameleon's Avatar

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    It depends on your DM- with a quick check of RAW (for 5e, at least), blindfolding it would work, since it apparently needs to see what it's rusting, or... encasing its antenna-ends in blocks of wood, maybe? Or at least restraining them somehow? Not sure that's a great option for a pet, but it would prolly keep your metal doodads safe-ish...

  27. - Top - End - #1347
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    Quote Originally Posted by TrT8r View Post
    I need an answer ASAP
    How do I prevent a tamed rust monster from rusting everything that gets near it? Would an enchanted cloaked work?
    I am seriously doing this.
    Xaar will have his pet.
    Something like this.
    Thri-Kreen Ranger/Psionicist by me, based off of Rich's A Monster for Every Season

  28. - Top - End - #1348
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    NinjaGuy

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    Last week we were wrapping up our 1876-Colorado-Hateful-Eight knock-off game when I finally got to shine. I was playing an alcoholic prospector named Bastion that was traveling the road to California post Gold Rush. We were all stopped at this roadhouse due to a storm and OOC it was pretty clear that the "proprietors" weren't the rightful owners. A lot of stuff went down and this isn't a total recap but the gist is this: I basically sat on the sideline for most of the game being cheerfully drunk and useless.

    During the final session, while about half of the PCs were saving the horses in the barn from a wolf attack, the "Proprietors" slipped their bonds and came back downstairs. They ambushed the crippled kid, another PC, and took his rifle. At this point, Bastion rouses himself and seeing the situation, pulls his pickaxe and a stick of dynamite, threatening to blow them away if they hurt the boy. They back away towards the door but keep the rifle trained on him. They demand the cash box from my side of the counter and I failed the Bluff roll to say it was already stolen. They ready the gun and he gives in.

    He sets the pickaxe on the counter and bends down to the cash box. Some whispering with the GM later and he trots out from around the counter and hands it over. Of course, the GM asks for a Luck roll, which I failed. The woman gets a horrified look on her face and runs off while the man with the rifle stares dumbfounded. Bastion tosses him the cash box and ducks behind the table.

    At this point, one of the players that was outside of the room turns to me with a look of realization on his face and says, "You Looney-Tunes MotherF-----r!" And then the GM proceeds to describe how, from outside, there's a roaring boom in the still night, as a corner of the Roadhouse explodes in shrapnel and debris. Inside, the other players find the man with the rifle has been thoroughly gibbed, there's a small fire where the stove was, and while Bastion had a silver dollar punch through the table and bruise his chest, he and the kid were fine. Honestly, it was a damn good payoff to a game full of other people's drama.
    Last edited by MintyNinja; 2017-11-27 at 07:39 PM.
    Games GMed
    The Vanstermen: OOC - IC

  29. - Top - End - #1349
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    dehro's Avatar

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    I'm playing a down on his luck noble who is striving to restore his House's finances (and failing miserably, so far)... My idea is to try and be understated, possibly anonymous, unnoticed and so on, as I go about completing tasks and quests with my companions.
    It turns out that when you travel with a Solamnic knight, an elf, a half-elf and a dark robed wizard, it's kinda hard to keep anonymity.
    Everywhere I go I seem to get recognized by the very people I'm trying to shy away from.
    Huzza! for Linkele, for drawing the bestest avatar ever!
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    Quote Originally Posted by kpenguin View Post
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  30. - Top - End - #1350
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Beholder

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    Quote Originally Posted by TeChameleon View Post
    It depends on your DM- with a quick check of RAW (for 5e, at least), blindfolding it would work, since it apparently needs to see what it's rusting, or... encasing its antenna-ends in blocks of wood, maybe? Or at least restraining them somehow? Not sure that's a great option for a pet, but it would prolly keep your metal doodads safe-ish...
    I successfully tamed it, and it has already saved my life. Me and my partner were fighting a gelatinous cube, which then proceeded to knock me out with a pseudopod. I was quickly dragged out by My rust monster (creatively named rusty), who got me to safety. I lost my arm due to acid, and, with a lot of DM intervention, I survived. Oh yeah, and I am going to sell it's juices as a cleaning agent, as it only dissolves biological matter.
    On a side not, I intimidated an owlbear and made it retreat to some cave, instead of fighting it. Also, we found a displacer beast, which my partner is trying to "Tame".
    At any rate, Aside from losing my arm, I had a great time!
    PS. I worship an archdevil, but I need my arm back. I have a hat of disguise and lots of charisma, could I convince/trick a priest into restoring my arm?
    EDIT: Chose the name on a whim, it is not based off of anything.
    Last edited by TrT8r; 2017-12-06 at 10:33 PM.
    DM's law; Don't tell them how stupid their idea is until it is already too late to reverse it.
    Generation 20. Every time you see a generation, copy it into your Sig and add one. This is a social experiment.

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