Wereoctopus

[Milo v3]

snrk..... Bwah ha ha ha...... Were-octopus, walks into a japanese place and sees takoyaki, tako nigiri, and any of a half-dozen other octopus based foods, then faints from shock........ ROFLMAO.

What if the Were-Octopus's favourite food was Takoyaki. Only found out about his curse afterward.......Fridge Horror.

[TuggyNE]

What if the Were-Octopus's favourite food was Takoyaki. Only found out about his curse afterward.......Fridge Horror.

"I just have this affinity for the stuff! I don't know why, it's always intrigued me though."

[MikolasTheAngry]

Wait, I've got it. Decanter of Endless Water.

Jam it in your siphon hole.

Bam! You can now Jet on land.

[Dusk Eclipse]

Wait, I've got it. Decanter of Endless Water.

Jam it in your siphon hole.

Bam! You can now Jet on land.

That sounds painful....

[ThiagoMartell]

Wait, I've got it. Decanter of Endless Water.

Jam it in your siphon hole.

Bam! You can now Jet on land.

This thread just keeps climbing the Weirdness Ladder like there is no tomorrow

[Menteith]

That sounds painful....

You know what they say; you can't make an omelet without jamming a fire-hose into your rectum.

[Amidus Drexel]

This thread just keeps climbing the Weirdness Ladder like there is no tomorrow

I think someone has probably set the weirdness ladder on fire, and the were-octopus is now climbing so that it won't burn to death.

[MikolasTheAngry]

That sounds painful....

No pain, no 200-foot water rocket!

[Madara]

I think someone has probably set the weirdness ladder on fire, and the were-octopus is now climbing so that it won't burn to death.

It doesn't need to climb when it can jet 200ft. straight up

[MikolasTheAngry]

It doesn't need to climb when it can jet 200ft. straight up

And it even puts out the fire behind it!

EDIT: I had another thought. Assuming you CAN do this, by handwavium or RAW or whatever--Feather Fall. Are there rules for lateral acceleration? I mean, if you're up in the air and falling slowly, you aren't just going to lose all that momentum the moment the jet turns off... How fast can you end up moving with Feather Fall on and jetting every chance you get?

Does this create a supersonic cephalopod?

[Amidus Drexel]

And it even puts out the fire behind it!

Eh, that's debatable. Nowhere in the description of jet does it say that octopi push water out behind them.

[Kelb_Panthera]

That sounds painful....

People seem to forget that the DoEW has two other settings. It doesn't have to be a firehose, and I wouldn't expect the wereoctopus to use that setting, after carefully inserting the device into the appropriate orifice.

....... huh, never thought I'd use the phrase "carefully inserting the device into the appropriate orifice" on this board.

[MikolasTheAngry]

... I wouldn't expect the wereoctopus to use that setting after carefully inserting the device into the appropriate orifice.

Can I sig this?

[Madara]

This has to be one of the oddest threads I have ever read.

[ThiagoMartell]

This has to be one of the oddest threads I have ever read.

It's all your fault, don't act nonchalant about it

[Kelb_Panthera]

Can I sig this?

By all means, do.

[Eldan]

There's no rules for jamming Decanters into your body.

So, I suggest:
Warforged.
Make a decanter of endless water as a warforged component.
Incarnate construct.
Become wereoctopus
???
Profit.

[Eldan]

There's no rules for jamming Decanters into your body.

So, I suggest:
Warforged.
Make a decanter of endless water as a warforged component.
Incarnate construct.
Become wereoctopus
???
Profit.

[Madara]

Does a warforged component go away if you become an incarnate construct?

[Kelb_Panthera]

Does a warforged component go away if you become an incarnate construct?

It doesn't go away, but I am reasonably certain that it becomes detached.

[MikolasTheAngry]

Honestly at this point, are we just trying to RAW the organic jetpack?

[ThiagoMartell]

There's no rules for jamming Decanters into your body.

So, I suggest:
Warforged.
Make a decanter of endless water as a warforged component.
Incarnate construct.
Become wereoctopus
???
Profit.

Are there rules for that?

Does a warforged component go away if you become an incarnate construct?

By RAW, it stays.

[Madara]

By RAW, it stays.

Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful!

There's no rules for jamming Decanters into your body.

For some reason, I just want to see some player say this to their DM.
That'd be priceless.

[QuidEst]

EDIT: I had another thought. Assuming you CAN do this, by handwavium or RAW or whatever--Feather Fall. Are there rules for lateral acceleration? I mean, if you're up in the air and falling slowly, you aren't just going to lose all that momentum the moment the jet turns off... How fast can you end up moving with Feather Fall on and jetting every chance you get?

Does this create a supersonic cephalopod?

Certainly not by RAW. Jet lets you move 200 ft. in any direction in a round, and that's that.

Now of course, that's boring, so we'll go with handwavium!

Warning: small catgirl-killing math section.

Spoiler

Show

Alas, having done the math, as impressive as being able to move 200 ft. in any direction six seconds (22mph) is, that's only 1.7 m/s^2, which is the same as going down a 10° slope with no friction. On the plus side, you can break the sound barrier in roughly three minutes, twenty second if you don't lose any speed!
Rounding errors ahoy, but it was pretty minor most of the way.

The real question is: How large of a bonus do you get on intimidate checks for being a warforged wereoctopus flying through the air at 22mph towards the target with a geyser trailing behind? And is that doubled if they think you're Cthulhu?

[Madara]

Certainly not by RAW. Jet lets you move 200 ft. in any direction in a round, and that's that.

Now of course, that's boring, so we'll go with handwavium!

Warning: small catgirl-killing math section.

Spoiler

Show

Alas, having done the math, as impressive as being able to move 200 ft. in any direction six seconds (22mph) is, that's only 1.7 m/s^2, which is the same as going down a 10° slope with no friction. On the plus side, you can break the sound barrier in roughly three minutes, twenty second if you don't lose any speed!
Rounding errors ahoy, but it was pretty minor most of the way.

The real question is: How large of a bonus do you get on intimidate checks for being a warforged wereoctopus flying through the air at 22mph towards the target with a geyser trailing behind? And is that doubled if they think you're Cthullu?

Ctullupus?

[Amidus Drexel]

Everything is at least doubled if they think you are Cthulhu.

[QuidEst]

Ctullupus?

I mean… it's that or Davy Jones. Possibly somewhere between.

Everything is at least doubled if they think you are Cthulhu.

I figured. And really, why else would you be playing a wereoctopus?

[Deth Muncher]

Okay kids, it was fun, but I'm out of here. There's nowhere good left for this thread to go.

I guess I'm just gonna have to...



...jet.

[Madara]

Okay kids, it was fun, but I'm out of here. There's nowhere good left for this thread to go.

I guess I'm just gonna have to...



...jet.

Ahhh it burns. I have at least 3.5rd degree burns!

[Kelb_Panthera]

Okay kids, it was fun, but I'm out of here. There's nowhere good left for this thread to go.

I guess I'm just gonna have to...



...jet.

This thread got me sigged for the first time. I hope it sticks around for a while yet.

Also..... ARGH! The pun-ness! My Eyes!