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  1. - Top - End - #181
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheAmishPirate View Post
    The little stallion shrunk back, shielding his eyes from the bright lights. A hoof to the back shoved him forward in less of a strut, and more of an ungainly stumble-fall.

    Sandy's legs flailed about as he fell, eventually landing *plop* in the middle of a happening club full of faceless ponies. He sheepishly waved to the lot of them, only to have them turn up their muzzles and keep dancing. The stallion rested his head on the bar, the barkeep (wiping a glass, of course) shook his head at the hapless fellow. "This just doesn't feel like me~ If only I were some other pony~" Out on the dance floor, a muscular, tall, suave-looking version of himself gave a dazzling smile, sending all the fillies a-fainting and leaving him sitting alone. "I'm short, I'm meek, I can't compare~ With all them other lads out there~ Why should any filly look my way?~ The stallion took a breath, leaving just enough time for somepony to jump in mid-rhyme.
    At this point, Night Jewel made her reapperance. "Now, now, Sandy, no need to mope~ To your charms, most wouldn't say 'nope'~" She patted his head, then leapt through a mysteriously-appearing portal and came out on the other side of him with a pair of mares in tow. "All right, girls, time to do your duty!~"

    "Aw, just look at the adorable colt!~" sang one mare, nuzzling him.

    "I have to admit he's quite a cutie~ Even if he's kind of a dolt~" sang the other. After a moment, she nuzzled him as well.

    Night Jewel then vanished again to get more candidates. She had little idea what was going on, but knew it was fun.
    When in doubt, use cute little dragons.

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  2. - Top - End - #182
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    Default Re: [FiM] Bridle Shores Commercial: Bits or Credit 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Benson View Post
    Spark's House- South of Bridle Shores

    The colt tilted his head in the direction of the door. "Huh...maybe they're back?" He wondered aloud to himself as he walked over to the door. He opened the door and blinked in surprise seeing Pyrite.

    "Oh...heya Pyrite, what brings you here?"
    Well, he didn't seem that broken up...Maybe he had gotten over it already?

    "Well, I was bored...And wanting to see how you were holding up. I mean, it's not the worst you've endured, other fish, etc..."

    Oh, comedy of errors.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Herpestidae View Post
    I... wow. I feel like I'm in the presence of royalty. The LP Goddess herself has graced this thread with her presence. I just... what...

  3. - Top - End - #183
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deme View Post
    Well, he didn't seem that broken up...Maybe he had gotten over it already?

    "Well, I was bored...And wanting to see how you were holding up. I mean, it's not the worst you've endured, other fish, etc..."

    Oh, comedy of errors.
    Spark looked at him quizzically and like glanced around to see if there were others abound. "Uh, yea, I'm "holding up" I guess?....You want to come inside? Seems Miss Tinker took Cloud with her to her farm for an errand and stuff."

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    Default Re: [FiM] Bridle Shores Commercial: Bits or Credit 2

    "Yeah, alright. Sounds good...What've you up to?"

    He asked, trotting inside. This is the first time on-screen he's been in their house, but let's assume he's hung out while Spark was grounded.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Herpestidae View Post
    I... wow. I feel like I'm in the presence of royalty. The LP Goddess herself has graced this thread with her presence. I just... what...

  5. - Top - End - #185
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deme View Post
    "Yeah, alright. Sounds good...What've you up to?"

    He asked, trotting inside. This is the first time on-screen he's been in their house, but let's assume he's hung out while Spark was grounded.

    "Hauh, well, me and Smoothie cancelled our exercise workout and grabbed lunch together at ah that Grills Restaurant and Spa, we chatted and stuff,"
    There were the makings of a goofy smile on his face as he bobbed his head.

  6. - Top - End - #186
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    Quote Originally Posted by PurityIcekiller View Post
    At this point, Night Jewel made her reapperance. "Now, now, Sandy, no need to mope~ To your charms, most wouldn't say 'nope'~" She patted his head, then leapt through a mysteriously-appearing portal and came out on the other side of him with a pair of mares in tow. "All right, girls, time to do your duty!~"

    "Aw, just look at the adorable colt!~" sang one mare, nuzzling him.

    "I have to admit he's quite a cutie~ Even if he's kind of a dolt~" sang the other. After a moment, she nuzzled him as well.

    Night Jewel then vanished again to get more candidates. She had little idea what was going on, but knew it was fun.
    The colt sat stock-straight and blushed furiously at the sudden onslaught of affections. Is this real, or just another lie?~ Could I really catch a sane mare's eye?~ The two mares looked at him expectantly; he just grinned like a doofus and chuckled sheepishly. "I-I think y'both are m-mighty fine~ U-uh..." He looked around the "bar" for a familiar face. "C-could somepony tell me my next line?~" he awkwardly talk-sung.
    Last edited by TheAmishPirate; 2012-08-24 at 07:58 PM.
    I'm developing a game. Let's see what happens! Complex.

  7. - Top - End - #187
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheAmishPirate View Post
    The colt sat stock-straight and blushed furiously at the sudden onslaught of affections. Is this real, or just another lie?~ Could I really catch a sane mare's eye?~ The two mares looked at him expectantly; he just grinned like a doofus and chuckled sheepishly. "I-I think y'both are m-mighty fine~ U-uh..." He looked around the "bar" for a familiar face. "C-could somepony tell me my next line?~" he awkwardly talk-sung.

    A click and a snap, this is far from a wrap~ "Use that dolt colt charm, with that smile you'll disarm~ Have the ladies all over you, so many hearts you'll subdue~"

    "And maybe get that HPK,"
    Gearstride said as an aside, hoof to the side of her mouth to camera before wagging her brows as the scene wiped to the left.

    "Come now Sandy let's see what you got~!"
    Musical interlude go!
    Last edited by Benson; 2012-08-24 at 08:34 PM.

  8. - Top - End - #188
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benson View Post
    A click and a snap, this is far from a wrap~ "Use that dolt colt charm, with that smile you'll disarm~ Have the ladies all over you, so many hearts you'll subdue~"

    "And maybe get that HPK,"
    Gearstride said as an aside, hoof to the side of her mouth to camera before wagging her brows as the scene wiped to the left.

    "Come now Sandy let's see what you got~!"
    Musical interlude go!

    And so the music played on with an upbeat tune as the barkeep brought the three of them a variety of wild-colored drinks. A toast, they all sip, and Sandy's eyes bug out as a jet of flame erupts from his mouth.

    The scene changed to Sandy trotting out with mares in tow. A carriage pulled up for them, and the stallion opened the door for them. Only to have the carriage zoom off, spinning him 'round like a top before he fell muzzle-first into a puddle.

    Cut to them trotting along an open-air market. Sandy leaves the two of them ooh-ing over some pastries while he makes for a flower stand. He picks up a bouquet of roses, forgetting he no longer has a horn to carry them. He tries to carry them in his mouth, but accidentally bites through the paper, getting a face-full of thorns and broken stems for his trouble. He tries to spit them out, struggles to get them together again, and by the time he gets back to the mares, all he's got is a pair of roses for the two of them, which he offers meekly.

    Then suddenly they're on a dance floor, surging with trippy lights. Sandy is nervous, but one of the mares gently pushes him out onto the dance floor. He starts slowly, but at their encouragement, gets more and more into the music. He starts to add some flips and twirls to his moves, and it's looking like he's finally getting into the groove of things. He jumps so high he leaves the picture, then the mares look confused as he doesn't come back down. A few seconds later, he falls to the floor, his head stuck in a disco ball. Little birdies and stars swirl around his head before he comically flops onto his back.

    The music picks up again, this time with the spotlight focused on Sandy. "I know I said I'd like some company~ But who'd really want somepony so clumsy?~ I guess that it's not meant to be~ The single life's the life for meeeeeee~" He sighed and hung his head, everything beyond the spotlight seemed all dark and lonely.
    I'm developing a game. Let's see what happens! Complex.

  9. - Top - End - #189
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    Default Re: [FiM] Bridle Shores Commercial: Bits or Credit 2

    And then in a flash the darkness brightened back up into something more colorful and the tune more upbeat. Gearstride appeared with her hoof out and picking him up with a big smile on her face. "Oooh, ya don't have to be a downer here, come on with me your old pal Gear~ Who.will.show.that.ya.got.nothin' to feeeeeeeeeeeeear!`~waahwoo!

  10. - Top - End - #190
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benson View Post
    And then in a flash the darkness brightened back up into something more colorful and the tune more upbeat. Gearstride appeared with her hoof out and picking him up with a big smile on her face. "Oooh, ya don't have to be a downer here, come on with me your old pal Gear~ Who.will.show.that.ya.got.nothin' to feeeeeeeeeeeeear!`~waahwoo!
    Sandy let himself get picked up and dragged out of the spotlight of self-pity, an unconvinced look upon his face. "An' how d'you plan t'do that?" he said in a flat, spoken aside. Splashes of color and upbeat key changes weren't enough, bigger guns would be needed here.
    Last edited by TheAmishPirate; 2012-08-25 at 05:52 AM.
    I'm developing a game. Let's see what happens! Complex.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Benson View Post

    "Hauh, well, me and Smoothie cancelled our exercise workout and grabbed lunch together at ah that Grills Restaurant and Spa, we chatted and stuff,"
    There were the makings of a goofy smile on his face as he bobbed his head.
    "...What?"

    This did not add up. He could see that goofy smile. That was, from Pyrite's understanding, not the correct facial expression.

    "That...Doesn't make sense...Why would she do that?"
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    Quote Originally Posted by Herpestidae View Post
    I... wow. I feel like I'm in the presence of royalty. The LP Goddess herself has graced this thread with her presence. I just... what...

  12. - Top - End - #192
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheAmishPirate View Post
    Sandy let himself get picked up and dragged out of the spotlight of self-pity, an unconvinced look upon his face. "An' how d'you plan t'do that?" he said in a flat, spoken aside. Splashes of color and upbeat key changes weren't enough, bigger guns would be needed here.

    "Gonna make you better~than you were before~ Just follow to mah every letter~To its very core~
    And then for some reason he was balancing books on his head. Maybe for poise.

    [I think this is where their back and forth thing can begin]



    Quote Originally Posted by Deme View Post
    "...What?"

    This did not add up. He could see that goofy smile. That was, from Pyrite's understanding, not the correct facial expression.

    "That...Doesn't make sense...Why would she do that?"

    "Because she digs me and is my friend?"
    And maybe something more Spark had himself an after thought.

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    "No, I mean...I sort of wanted to check her intentions, just a bit, since you're my buddy....And she said she was going to clear things up...Because you misunderstood..."

    These facial expressions were not matching up with Pyrite's understanding increasingly, and the normal streak of cowardice and scheming in Pyrite's heart was flaring up.

    "It doesn't sound like that's what happened."
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    Quote Originally Posted by Herpestidae View Post
    I... wow. I feel like I'm in the presence of royalty. The LP Goddess herself has graced this thread with her presence. I just... what...

  14. - Top - End - #194
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deme View Post
    "No, I mean...I sort of wanted to check her intentions, just a bit, since you're my buddy....And she said she was going to clear things up...Because you misunderstood..."

    These facial expressions were not matching up with Pyrite's understanding increasingly, and the normal streak of cowardice and scheming in Pyrite's heart was flaring up.

    "It doesn't sound like that's what happened."


    Spark furrowed his brow looking a bit angry. "You talked to her about this?? I told you not to tell her about this, there was a promise-swear and everything, bro, not cool."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Benson View Post

    "Gonna make you better~than you were before~ Just follow to mah every letter~To its very core~
    And then for some reason he was balancing books on his head. Maybe for poise.

    [I think this is where their back and forth thing can begin]
    Sandy stuck out one leg, then another, then hopped back and forth, switching out his legs, all without dropping the books. "Figured you'd be an expert on this stuff~ So maybe you could tell me if I'll ever measure up~ Say it straight, do y'think I even got a chance?~"

    [let it begin!]
    I'm developing a game. Let's see what happens! Complex.

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    Sandy stuck out one leg, then another, then hopped back and forth, switching out his legs, all without dropping the books. "Figured you'd be an expert on this stuff~ So maybe you could tell me if I'll ever measure up~ Say it straight, do y'think I even got a chance?~"


    "Absolutely, of course, I say, now let's work on that stance!~ "Back straight. Chin down. Brow cocked. Show me your smirk~"


    Sandy stood with his back straight, dropped his chin to his chest, raised his eyebrow, and gave a toothy, doofy smiirk.

    "I think I might be gettin' it, this maybe might just work~

    Though it's hard to walk like this, I can't see a thing~"


    The stallion trotted in a wavering line as he had to strain his eyes to see forward.

    "Eh...you'll eventually get into the swing~"
    Gearstride replied in a talk-sing manner. And suddenly a small rock appears to cause Sandy to trip and all, the books falling off his head. "We'll work on that." More talk-sing aside stuff.

    "Gooooootta just walk, like ya got some swag'~


    Sandy picks himself up and starts strutting his stuff. By which I mean he starts silly-walking around in what he believes to be a "cool" trot. Before long, he's looking back at himself self-consciously.

    "Seein' that just makes me wanna gag~"

    "Though perhaps it's all in the knees?~"


    He starts walking with super exaggerated steps, sticking his knees up high with each trot.

    Gearstride held in a snicker as she swag' walked with him, making him look kinda lame in comparison. "You got' the idea, but it ain't still a breeeeze~"

    The mare then stutted up ahead of him, trotting with a confident poise, smirk in place, there seemed to be a rhythm to each step. "Watch my steps, and you'll learn yet, the awesome swag in yoooou~"

    Sandy's goose-steps slowed to match Gear's natural rythm. And then slowed further as he adjusted to his own natural gait. The slower speed forced his knees lower into something resembling a normal trot. As he found himself bouncing along next to her, a small grin turned into a confident little smile. The floor turned into a long red carpet, phantom flashbulbs going off all around them. "Hey Gear, lookit! I think it's comin' through!~"

    He started to hover, keeping up a swag-trot in mid-air. [COLOR="sandybrown"]"I feel like a million, like I'm walkin' on air!~"

    "By Sandy. You got it! And you couldn't look anymore,- Debonaire~!"
    All kinds of colorful but featureless shaped fillies appeared walking at his sides dressed to the nines as he himself had a bow tie on him. A set of double doors appeared before with a warm golden glowing light coming from them. Gearstride was there as the doorfilly and opened it up for him. "We've been awaaaatin', you, Mister Saaandy~"

    Sandy grinned as the light engulfed them, revealing a massive ball, in a hall to rival those in Canterlot Castle. As he and his cadre of fillies entered, the band struck up a triumphant entry fanfare. "And I feeeeeeeel as happy as a foal in a candyyyyyyyyyyyyyy~!"

    "...shop!"

    --------------------


    [Alrighty, Grif, PurityIcekiller, feel free to insert yerselves if ye want, if not, let it be known in OOC so there's no accidental waiting of many days, waiting, for ya to post.]
    Last edited by Benson; 2012-08-26 at 07:13 AM.

  17. - Top - End - #197
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benson View Post
    Spark furrowed his brow looking a bit angry. "You talked to her about this?? I told you not to tell her about this, there was a promise-swear and everything, bro, not cool."
    "I was just looking out for you!...I didn't want you getting hurt, and I wanted to make sure she was on the level with you. I didn't say too much -- just asked what she felt..."

    He shrunk down nervously, trying to spin this and be -- gasp -- honest.

    "And she said she wasn't, and we agreed to clear things up when one of us saw you next...I... I thought for sure I could tell if she was lying to me..."

    He was pretty sure he could; Smoothie wasn't the sort who was made for dishonesty, he felt. Maybe inner dishonesty, but outer? Smoothie? Of course, that in and of itself could be a trap.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Herpestidae View Post
    I... wow. I feel like I'm in the presence of royalty. The LP Goddess herself has graced this thread with her presence. I just... what...

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    Spark lightly snorted and kept his glower at Pyrite which soon softened into a confused expression. He was now just plum confused. He slumped down on the ground like a sad puppy.

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    "Something isn't right...But I don't know where it's wrong..."

    He looked at Spark and huddled beside him, his own look of confusion and sadness on his face.

    "I'm sorry I asked her. But... Someone's getting played."
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    Quote Originally Posted by Herpestidae View Post
    I... wow. I feel like I'm in the presence of royalty. The LP Goddess herself has graced this thread with her presence. I just... what...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Deme View Post
    "Something isn't right...But I don't know where it's wrong..."

    He looked at Spark and huddled beside him, his own look of confusion and sadness on his face.

    "I'm sorry I asked her. But... Someone's getting played."

    "I don't believe you....I think you're making stuff up now,"
    Oh yea, Spark went the cliche route. He had a look of angry hurt and confusion and turned his head towards Pyrite.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Benson View Post

    "Ah, I don't think so, but ah thanks,"
    Fox said as he returned to sipping his fancy beverage. He glanced at Greif and wanly smiled. "Well, its a small town, folks still out working, little things like that."
    Greif's Cafe

    Greif leans forward against the bar, folding his jacket-sleeved talons over each other. "Eh, guess you're right," he muses. "What sorta work are they doin'? Any other important businesses or stores I ought to know about? Other than the baker and that restaurant down the road. Think a guy named Grill owns it. Heh. Ironic," the griffin smirks.
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
    Greif's Cafe

    Greif leans forward against the bar, folding his jacket-sleeved talons over each other. "Eh, guess you're right," he muses. "What sorta work are they doin'? Any other important businesses or stores I ought to know about? Other than the baker and that restaurant down the road. Think a guy named Grill owns it. Heh. Ironic," the griffin smirks.

    "Well, there's still rebuilding in some places when the town got attacked by a bad guy in armor, but that's been a week or so. Anyways, yea, Grills', he's my friend, the one I'm going to Filly with. But uh....there used to be a soda bar, run by my friend....but ah....I got a note from her....that she was in the process moving away....I haven't even gone to see her yet, kinda...well...acting cowardly about that, she was a good friend."

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    Default Re: [FiM] Bridle Shores Commercial: Bits or Credit 2

    Greif's Cafe

    Greif shrugs. "Guy in armor, huh? Man, I got great timing or what? Heh heh. Anyway, sorry to hear about your friend. But why be cowardly about it? I mean, everyone's run from their problems at least once. Some folks make a bad habit out of it. But putting off seeing her won't postpone her leaving. It just gives you less time to say goodbye," the griffin sigh.

    After a few seconds, Greif smirks. "Hey, I'm gettin' kinda good at this 'wise bartender' role, wouldn't you say? Hah hah..."
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

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    Default Re: [FiM] Bridle Shores Commercial: Bits or Credit 2

    "I know, I know...I just don't like the finality of it," Fox sighed and busied himself with his drink. He really was a coward. Running away from his dreams because he was hurt by a mare but couldn't let go. Running away from confronting his issues that he knew had hurt Icy, even if she was putting on such a strong front. Running away from telling her about the letter yesterday. Just avoiding, putting it on the backburner and trying to pretend things were fine.

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    Sandy strode down the steps and into the thick of fancy party. With a spring in his step to match the lively music, he seemed a stallion ready to take the world by the horns. A lovely waiter brought over hors d'oeuvres for him and his posse of fillies. "I feel better already, maybe this is good for th' health!~" They all laughed along, and a lime green filly eased her way next to him. "So, Mister Shores, tell us about yourself?~"

    Instantly, the music, the chatter, it all came to a grinding halt. The color drained out of Sandy from head to hoof, leaving him ghostly white. The collar around his neck suddenly tightened, and sweat poured down his face. He opened his mouth to answer the expecting crowd, but all that came out was awkward stuttering. They pressed in closer, waiting for his answer, but all the dolt colt could do was try and back away, until stopped by a buffet table. He held his hooves up, trying to defend his head from the conversation-hungry mob...
    I'm developing a game. Let's see what happens! Complex.

  26. - Top - End - #206
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    Default Re: [FiM] Bridle Shores Commercial: Bits or Credit 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Benson View Post

    "I don't believe you....I think you're making stuff up now,"
    Oh yea, Spark went the cliche route. He had a look of angry hurt and confusion and turned his head towards Pyrite.
    "I'm not!"

    Pyrite said, his voice rising, but his expression more desperate than angry. He paused, gave what he was saying some thought.

    "Why would I do that? Well, OK, that's a dumb thing, since *someone's* doing *something* without my knowing why -- But you know me, Spark! Where's the payoff in lying here?"
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    Quote Originally Posted by Herpestidae View Post
    I... wow. I feel like I'm in the presence of royalty. The LP Goddess herself has graced this thread with her presence. I just... what...

  27. - Top - End - #207
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    Default Re: [FiM] Bridle Shores Commercial: Bits or Credit 2

    Quote Originally Posted by TheAmishPirate View Post
    Sandy strode down the steps and into the thick of fancy party. With a spring in his step to match the lively music, he seemed a stallion ready to take the world by the horns. A lovely waiter brought over hors d'oeuvres for him and his posse of fillies. "I feel better already, maybe this is good for th' health!~" They all laughed along, and a lime green filly eased her way next to him. "So, Mister Shores, tell us about yourself?~"

    Instantly, the music, the chatter, it all came to a grinding halt. The color drained out of Sandy from head to hoof, leaving him ghostly white. The collar around his neck suddenly tightened, and sweat poured down his face. He opened his mouth to answer the expecting crowd, but all that came out was awkward stuttering. They pressed in closer, waiting for his answer, but all the dolt colt could do was try and back away, until stopped by a buffet table. He held his hooves up, trying to defend his head from the conversation-hungry mob...
    And one big white out. Sandy would find himself at a small table set up outside the Clunker with a large open umbrella. Sitting in front of him was one of the mares that musicalnumberNight Jewel had brought in for Sandy. Gearstride was dressed in a waitress uniform with a tray of cookies and set it down before the two. Sandy would probably just be having an out of it moment, confused by the disney acid sequence and what appeared to be reality.

    Gearstride returned over to the Clunker and set down the tray and stood near her stallion. "Yikes....he doesn't seem to be doing very well.."

    [if no one's okay with this, I could change it so the musical number is still going]


    Quote Originally Posted by Deme View Post
    "I'm not!"

    Pyrite said, his voice rising, but his expression more desperate than angry. He paused, gave what he was saying some thought.

    "Why would I do that? Well, OK, that's a dumb thing, since *someone's* doing *something* without my knowing why -- But you know me, Spark! Where's the payoff in lying here?"

    "I don't know, maybe you secretly fancy her yourself,"
    Spark nickered and shuffled away.

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    Default Re: [FiM] Bridle Shores Commercial: Bits or Credit 2

    "Well, I don't. I'm not looking for a fillyftiend until I'm established."

    He looked away awkwardly before looking after him pleadingly, his heart surging with bromance,

    "Haven't I usually worked hard with only minimal profit margins to help you?"
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    Quote Originally Posted by Herpestidae View Post
    I... wow. I feel like I'm in the presence of royalty. The LP Goddess herself has graced this thread with her presence. I just... what...

  29. - Top - End - #209
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    Default Re: [FiM] Bridle Shores Commercial: Bits or Credit 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Deme View Post
    "Well, I don't. I'm not looking for a fillyftiend until I'm established."

    He looked away awkwardly before looking after him pleadingly, his heart surging with bromance.

    "Haven't I usually worked hard with only minimal profit margins to help you?"

    "I guess....."
    He regretted looking at those pleading eyes of his friend. "But.......you're wrong though...about Smoothie, she does like me and I just end up having my firstest fillyfriend."

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    Default Re: [FiM] Bridle Shores Commercial: Bits or Credit 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Benson View Post
    "I know, I know...I just don't like the finality of it," Fox sighed and busied himself with his drink. He really was a coward. Running away from his dreams because he was hurt by a mare but couldn't let go. Running away from confronting his issues that he knew had hurt Icy, even if she was putting on such a strong front. Running away from telling her about the letter yesterday. Just avoiding, putting it on the backburner and trying to pretend things were fine.
    Greif's Cafe

    Greif gives a small flap of his wings, and tilts his head thoughtfully. "Well, does it really have to be final? What's stopping her from coming back to visit, or you going to visit her?" he inquires in a friendly rather than accusatory manner. "It ain't final, unless you let it be."
    Last edited by Lycan 01; 2012-08-28 at 01:16 AM.
    Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.

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