Serpentine's Secretly Sapphic Salacious Sacrarium of Random Banter #180

[Maxios]

I once saw Watchmen in the Children's Section (in the library I go to, the CS is for kids 4-7) because after all, the average five year old loves a book filled with violence, sex, glowing blue ding-a-lings, and a giant (fake) eldritch abomination that kills over half of New York. And the thing is, there is a section for Graphic Novels there and Watchmen is usually there, so someone who works at the library must suffer from the delusion that all comics are for kids and for some reason decided it would better fit there then the actual section it belongs to. Or someone just made a simple mistake.

[Cobra_Ikari]

See, the thing is...I can get behind this. Have the module on the book be called "how not to write abook". Have discussion of the implications of the book, ie pedophilia, necrophilia, domination, stalkerism, and the like. Twilight is one of those terrible books where you can get so much out of it by discussing intelligently about it. The contents of the book are garbage, but they can provide stepping stones TO inteligent discussion.

I was gonna say "And then they could follow up with the 50 Shades series, to teach kids how terrible it is to write bad fanfiction about bad novels without ever researching or understanding the topic they're writing on", but it's not really school appropriate. Perhaps save that for a college writing class. >.>



On mis-shelved books: I have a picture from the time I ran across a Transformers Coloring book shelved in the Children's Religion section. I'm not a religious person, but if someone ever founds the First Church of Optimus Prime, I'd probably end up in their congregation.

[AsteriskAmp]

...We;re SIBLINGS, dimwit!

TARGARYEN!

I'm sorry, did you forget I took your soul when I named you?

You can't take what has already been sold.

B- B- BlueZodiac? Scandal!

And that kids is how pairings are born. Both sadly unmake BlueMoon/MoonGhost/BlueCat? so Nay!

Bring her to Old England! We have a lot more history and stuff.

I endorse this, and I'm willing to finance any project involved in the absolutely and totally voluntary removal of LaZ and her relocation to Old England.

[The Succubus]

Naw, the worst book I've seen in the children's section is Elfen Lied and Twilight.

Oo.

That could give impressionable children some very interesting ideas about how reproduction works.

[AsteriskAmp]

Oo.

That could give impressionable children some very interesting ideas about how reproduction works.

And what happens when girls get mad? And on how to maintain healthy relationships with your cousins? And on Disociative Identity Disorder?

[wadledo]

And what happens when girls get mad? And on how to maintain healthy relationships with your cousins? And on Disociative Identity Disorder?

At least it gives an accurate depiction of how women act when they wear horns.

[Serpentine]

But be careful, not all books are out of copyright in all countries.

Yeah, guess that's why there's a Project Gutenberg for different countries. Well, I know there's one for Australia and the US... I assume there's some for other places. But what if I'm from Australia and I save a book that's on the Australian Project Gutenberg while I'm in Australia and then I go to the UK and take my book with me am I breaking the law?! :O
(Yeah, I know, banned topics. I'm not actually seriously asking )

I once saw Watchmen in the Children's Section

I found Kickass in the kid's section once. To be fair, though, it wasn't meant to be there.

[Heliomance]

You latch onto that and note Moonie or Dragonprime or Cobra. Clearly you're biased. Also Teddy

It's scandalous because Blue Ghost already belongs to MoonCat, so if he's after you he's clearly cheating on you.
BlueMoon OTP

I assume you're relatively in the middle of the game, so my only real advice is this. Continue onward.

As an aside, I beat a Nuzlocke without any deaths. I feel so lucky

Just beat Fuchsia Gym, was headed west to go up the cycling path to Celadon, and lost her to a random Bird Trainer :(
I want to make him pay, but I can't think how. Obviously I beat him, but that's no worse than I do to every other trainer that challenges me.

In other news, who here likes cake? I like cake? I like food in general. Too bad I don't have any right now XP

I made cake today! It is nummy.

[Cobra_Ikari]

It's scandalous because Blue Ghost already belongs to MoonCat, so if he's after you he's clearly cheating on you.
BlueMoon OTP

BlueMoon can't be my OTP because I already ship Felixander. Which would be even MORE scandalous. =3

[AtlanteanTroll]

Why oh why is Urban Dictionary blocked at school. How else am I suppose to learn what "da hui" is when I'm in Study Hall.

[Tragic_Comedian]

It's so hard to survive with no one to borrow money from. I have a total of 17 dollars to my name right now. I needed at least 19 to get this thing that I'm supposed to have for class. At least I'm going home tomorrow so I can bring my debit card back with me next week.

[MoonCat]

Oh dear that is QUITE hilarious. Hope things work out well in THAT situation.

It's going to turn out like that one Good Omens fanfic about Aziraphale getting Internet, except without the twist ending. <headdesk>

Stand back, I'm a quasi medical professional. Give her a link to TVTropes and Cracked and then run.

NO

This is a woman who considers her computers things that get in the way of contacting her family because they do not work as well as a real life conversation. In Belgium, we had a little test for her when she first got the laptop. She's have to do a list of tasks, and then she'd be done. She's be able to IM us to ask for help, because we were locked in another room and would not give her hints with body language or just tell her what to do. After an hour, she didn't complete the first task, because she was trying to send us an IM saying "i need help'. The reason she never sent it to us? She never pressed enter.

We gave her an iPad this summer, and she could not handle writing emails. She only uses the internet for IMing us, and email.

She wouldn't be able to scroll down a tvtropes page without accidentally clicking a link and freaking out. Cracked, with all its links in odd places (to her), would be a nightmare. Not mention the fact that she wouldn't be able to tell when something is an ad or not.

And that's not even getting started on the content. At BEST, she'll start acting like my mother, who decided that in order to seem with it, calls everything in the world a trope, at WORST, she'll consider me a heathen who should be sent off to a farm to learn sewing and remove my modern life tendencies, which she would inevitably jump to the conclusion that I was after seeing those websites.

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I don't get it. Thor was a Norse god? Is that the joke?

You'd rather have MoonZodiac?

<grumbles> Every time I mention I like black hair, she tells me she has black hair. Up until* when I told her my real age, she would try and kiss me over IM. NO MORE OF THIS!

*turns out she doesn't like old ladies

This made me laugh. Mostly because my grandmother (mother's mother, because as a Swede, I like to make a distinction) has thrown herself into the computer world with great enthusiasm (surprisingly great enthusiasm for someone that's ~80 years old, actually), and it should be only a matter of time before she does the same.

Well, if she's being deeply enthusiastic, maybe you can avoid it. My grandmother deeply resents the computer (and the second one) and the iPad, and this is her desperately trying to prove that she isn't a total technophobe to my father. And he's encouraging it because he thinks it's hilarious to see his mother talk like a ten year old minus the swearing.

Ahahahahahahahaha.

I mean, erh, good luck with that. You have our support.

*snicker*

Thank you. I'm sure nothing good shall come of this.

Twilight should be make into one of those books you study in school.
Because no one likes the books they are forced to read and no one wants anything to do with them again after they have had to write novel long essays on small sections of the book.

Yes. Not just because of the terrible writing, but because of the horrible messages it sends to people. They should use condensed scenarios from the book in those DV classes the first year high-schoolers get.

TARGARYEN!
You can't take what has already been sold.

And that kids is how pairings are born. Both sadly unmake BlueMoon/MoonGhost/BlueCat? so Nay!
I endorse this, and I'm willing to finance any project involved in the absolutely and totally voluntary removal of LaZ and her relocation to Old England.

You hadn't sold it when I named you, that was almost one of my first posts on the forum.

WHYYYY

Sure, LaLa can go to England once I'm done with her. <licks lips>

[Tragic_Comedian]

I don't get it. Thor was a Norse god? Is that the joke?

Thor is also a superhero, and he's on a team with Iron Man, Captain America, and the Hulk, among others. They're called the Avengers.

[Cobra_Ikari]

<grumbles> Every time I mention I like black hair, she tells me she has black hair. Up until* when I told her my real age, she would try and kiss me over IM. NO MORE OF THIS!

*turns out she doesn't like old ladies

Sure, LaLa can go to England once I'm done with her. <licks lips>

You know, for someone who complains about being affectioned on, that lip licking sends a very different message.

Also, it blows my mind if you're telling me you're older than Zodi. Next thing I know, you'll tell me you're older than me! >.<

Torn between thinking "hawt" and wanting to steal Zodi for myself. >.>

[Rockphed]

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This made my day.

Really? I've never heard that before. It seems a bit counterintuitive .The distinction between the Med and the Atlantic is easier to make than that between the Arctic and Atlantic, or Arctic and Pacific, or the Indian Ocean and the Atlantic, or the Southern Ocean and pretty much anything else.

Well, the Bering strait works as an effective boundary between Pacific and Arctic oceans. Pretty much every other oceanic boundary is jumbled and not really a boundary.

Twilight should be make into one of those books you study in school.
Because no one likes the books they are forced to read and no one wants anything to do with them again after they have had to write novel long essays on small sections of the book.

Quick question: How many of the people here bashing on Twilight have actually read any of it?

On mis-shelved books: I have a picture from the time I ran across a Transformers Coloring book shelved in the Children's Religion section. I'm not a religious person, but if someone ever founds the First Church of Optimus Prime, I'd probably end up in their congregation.

Why would we be worshiping Optimus Prime? Surely we would be worshipping whoever created Cybertron.

Why oh why is Urban Dictionary blocked at school. How else am I suppose to learn what "da hui" is when I'm in Study Hall.

Because it is a place of filth and stupidity that you should not be checking ever anyway. Some things that schools block make no sense. Urban dictionary is not one of them.

[Cobra_Ikari]

Why would we be worshiping Optimus Prime? Surely we would be worshipping whoever created Cybertron.

I believe that would be Primus? And I think Optimus Prime has some sort of Jesus analogy going on, or something. I don't really know. Ask Zodi, if anyone was made to be a missionary of the Autobots, it's her.

[AtlanteanTroll]

<grumbles> Every time I mention I like black hair, she tells me she has black hair. Up until* when I told her my real age, she would try and kiss me over IM. NO MORE OF THIS!

*turns out she doesn't like old

How the Hell is it you're over 19? Staying up past 11 was a special event for you last year.

EDIT: And as far as I can gather you aren't ready to go to College yet and still live at home.

What.

Because it is a place of filth and stupidity that you should not be checking ever anyway. Some things that schools block make no sense. Urban dictionary is not one of them.

It's a place of filth and stupidity if you're looking up insults. Otherwise it's alright. It's actually really good for getting to know slang. Which "da hui" happens to be. And I know it isn't an insult. I just want to know what it is that the Offspring are singing about, darn it.

[factotum]

Or low-sodium soy sauce, since soy sauce is just water, food coloring, soy and salt anyway.

Er...you know normal salt is sodium chloride, right? Low-sodium soy presumably contains a salt which isn't sodium chloride, as part of the modern drive to reduce general sodium content in food (while sodium is required in small amounts, we eat far too much of it these days, mostly in the form of salt).

[Cobra_Ikari]

It's a place of filth and stupidity if you're looking up insults. Otherwise it's alright. It's actually really good for getting to know slang. Which "da hui" happens to be. And I know it isn't an insult. I just want to know what it is that the Offspring are singing about, darn it.

Wikipedia contains this information, though. =P

It's a local Hawaiian surf gang, or something.

[inky13112]

It's so hard to survive with no one to borrow money from. I have a total of 17 dollars to my name right now. I needed at least 19 to get this thing that I'm supposed to have for class. At least I'm going home tomorrow so I can bring my debit card back with me next week.

Check the trash of restaurants right after they close, there is frequently still perfectly good food in there. Large parks and close to public hospitals are good places to sleep. College campuses are also good if you can blend in. If there are unguarded refrigerators on campus and you are hungry enough to be unethical, you can grab other people's food also. Check vending machines, especially out of order ones, sometimes they get stuck but with a little persuasion you can "fix" them and collect your reward. If police bother you apologize and tell them as soon as possible that you will move on with no trouble. That said, there is strength in numbers and your less likely to be harassed if you're around alot of other people. Cigarettes are also a good way to make it seem like you have a legitimate reason to be where you are, but since they cost money this is rarely helpful.

You did say survive.

[Tragic_Comedian]

Check the trash of restaurants right after they close, there is frequently still perfectly good food in there. Large parks and close to public hospitals are good places to sleep. College campuses are also good if you can blend in. If there are unguarded refrigerators on campus and you are hungry enough to be unethical, you can grab other people's food also. Check vending machines, especially out of order ones, sometimes they get stuck but with a little persuasion you can "fix" them and collect your reward. If police bother you apologize and tell them as soon as possible that you will move on with no trouble. That said, there is strength in numbers and your less likely to be harassed if you're around alot of other people. Cigarettes are also a good way to make it seem like you have a legitimate reason to be where you are, but since they cost money this is rarely helpful.

You did say survive.

That is excellent advice, friend Inky. That said, I'm actually currently living on a college campus.

[AtlanteanTroll]

It's a local Hawaiian surf gang, or something.

Not in depth enough. Urban did a much better job of explaining, actually.

Check vending machines, especially out of order ones, sometimes they get stuck but with a little persuasion you can "fix" them and collect your reward.

If this means "shake down" that's actually a pretty good way to end up in the morgue.

[MoonCat]

You know, for someone who complains about being affectioned on, that lip licking sends a very different message.

Also, it blows my mind if you're telling me you're older than Zodi. Next thing I know, you'll tell me you're older than me! >.<

Torn between thinking "hawt" and wanting to steal Zodi for myself. >.>

In all honesty, I typed "after I'm done with her" without thinking, and after that it was just too epic of a line to not add the action to go with it.

LaLa is mine.

How the Hell is it you're over 19? Staying up past 11 was a special event for you last year.

EDIT: And as far as I can gather you aren't ready to go to College yet and still live at home.

What.

Time. Goddess. And as I recall, the 11 thing was more because I tend to just fall asleep naturally before that.

Seriously, do I have to spell it out? I am not the various ages I claim I am, and I am still in high school.

[AtlanteanTroll]

Seriously, do I have to spell it out? I am not the various ages I claim I am, and I am still in high school.

Sort of, the time goddess thing got confusing and old a while ago. It's fine to not want people to know something about you, but constantly flaunting it is annoying.

[Tragic_Comedian]

If this means "shake down" that's actually a pretty good way to end up in the morgue.

A person has to take some chances or life'll never come to anything.

[Cobra_Ikari]

In all honesty, I typed "after I'm done with her" without thinking, and after that it was just too epic of a line to not add the action to go with it.

LaLa is mine.

Mhmm. Sure you didn't mean it. Clearly, your subconscious is trying to tell you things. =P

It's completely understandable, though, Zodi's very swoonworthy. =3

Sort of, the time goddess thing got confusing and old a while ago. It's fine to not want people to know something about you, but constantly flaunting it is annoying.

I dunno, I think it's kind of fun trying to puzzle out the things people hint at but refuse to explicitly say. I tease people by doing that to them all the time.

Although I suppose if Moonie's really uncomfortable with anyone knowing the truth, it might be a bad choice on her part.

[AtlanteanTroll]

A person has to take some chances or life'll never come to anything.

A surprising amount of people are killed by vending machines every year. It's sort of ridiculous.

I dunno, I think it's kind of fun trying to puzzle out the things people hint at but refuse to explicitly say. I tease people by doing that to them all the time.

It's not when you purposefully post contradictory things that are entirely plausible.

[Heliomance]

Sort of, the time goddess thing got confusing and old a while ago. It's fine to not want people to know something about you, but constantly flaunting it is annoying.

It's a running gag. I find it amusing.

My money's on 15, FWIW. Maybe 16 by now, but I don't think so.

[Mutant Sheep]

It's not when you purposefully post contradictory things that are entirely plausible.

BWHAHAHAHA. /cackles at knowing the Lunar Feline's true age.

IRN:I guess we gave up on chat after using it for one day?

[Tragic_Comedian]

BWHAHAHAHA. /cackles at knowing the Lunar Feline's true age.

IRN:I guess we gave up on chat after using it for one day?

I keep checking it and no one's ever there.