Results 271 to 300 of 1484
-
2012-08-29, 02:00 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Bottom of a well
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
There is only one type of sane personality. Fortunately, it's been mathematically proven to be impossible for sentient beings to achieve.
Hmm... Okay, I hope this won't be too offensive, but I'm going to go ahead and comment why I have some of the reactions I do to asexuals and aromantics.
SpoilerI know it may be a failing of mine, but I will admit I can't imagine a life free of romantic entanglement. I fell head over heels for a girl in my daycare center before age 3, and she makes up about 2/3 of my earliest memories. I've gotten gooey eyed over other people fairly consistently since then. So people who can't or don't feel that kind of emotional connection come off as alien and disturbing to me. More so than normal humans, because that's one of the few connections I feel with other people's emotions. So many of the things humanity does feel alien and horrific to me, ranging from decorative full body clothing, to drinking fizzy beverages and intoxicants, to collecting pay and theft (yes, the two concepts are closely linked in my mind).
Removing such a key touchstone where I feel I actually have something in common with most people leaves me grasping at straws. I get confused, and I get upset, and I get a little xenophobic thrill of fear. I don't push the person away, mind. I usually try to dig deeper in an attempt to understand the person, which extremely awkwardly has twice led to me falling head over heels for someone with absolutely zero interest in me beyond my ability to swap stupid sci-fi jokes over lunch and discuss books. And I'm left sitting there with perfect clarity that they will never, ever love me back, and still with zero clarity on why, and with this big confusing muddle of emotions including many negatives, many internally directed.
I hope that doesn't make me a worse person.
-
2012-08-29, 02:19 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
- Location
- QLD, Australia
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Just found out from a friend on WoW that apparently I don't 'sound' gay (voice chat). I've always thought I have that slightly feminine sounding voice, and liked it... But to hear that I sound very straight (her words) is just very odd to me. And she knew that I like stereotypically gay things as well, such as Pop music, musicals (only a few), and fashion.
What is wrong with the world.. -_-
-
2012-08-29, 02:20 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
How do 'gays' sound?
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
-
2012-08-29, 02:25 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
- Location
- QLD, Australia
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
I'm just going by stereotypes here.. But the slightly feminine/slight pitch increase that means that you can spot a feminine gay guy easily? I don't know.. I just assumed I sound like that, because my roommates have said it. Yet online in voice chat, I apparently sound manly. *confused face*
(not meaning to offend anyone)
-
2012-08-29, 03:17 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
- Location
- Malsheem, Nessus
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
I agree, and sympathize with your situation. Back in middle school there was one girl in the class who was convinced I was lying when I said I didn't "like like" any girls in the class, and would ask me literally every day which girl I liked. During high school, my mom all but jumped for joy when I spent time with any girls whatsoever. I almost wish they'd accused me of being gay, since that would have let me get over the whole coming out thing faster. On the plus side, neither of my folks is clamoring for me to get "fixed" by getting into a relationship now.
While I'm obviously not asexual/aromantic myself, I can sympathize with their position.
SpoilerI've always had mostly male friends, meeting almost a hundred new boys every 1-2 years as I moved around and switched schools, sports teams, and such. The combination of (A) knowing that most of my Catholic-school classmates either didn't approve of teh gays or had family members who didn't approve of them, (B) not wanting to fall for straight guys and be disappointed, and (C) feeling the need to control myself when I was in swimming lessons and Boy Scout camps and surrounded by guys in, ahem, compromising positions meant that I sort of clamped down on all my romantic and sexual feelings, hard (no innuendo intended).
I ran into plenty of guys who I'd have loved to do very naughty things with, or just spend a while gazing into their eyes or [insert romantic cliché here], but my train of thought when meeting them was something along the lines of "Well, hello, there! Doesn't he have a nice--no! No! Bad emotions! Bad id! Id, you go sit in the back of the subconscious while Ego and Superego carry on the conversation!" I even tried to avoid thinking about relationships or anything related to them. Thus, until fairly recently, I went through life without letting romantic or sexual feelings impact my life. Nowadays, of course, I look back at some of my high school friends and think Dammit, why didn't I jump him when I had a chance!? or look around at the lovely view without worrying that one of the guys in said view is going to pound me into the pavement if he catches me looking at him (thank Pelor for West Coast sensibilities!).
So really, the perspective isn't as alien (to other humans, at least, Mr. Non-Homo sapiens*) as you might think. I can't say I'd want to experience that lack of romantic and/or sexual feelings full-time, but then the feeling is obviously reversed on the part of asexuals/aromantics...and I don't know if I'd actually mind that situation that much if I didn't have to work at it and those (lack of) feelings just came naturally. Life's a mystery.
*I now have the strange urge to start calling non-Homo sapiens species Hetero sapiens for giggles, even though I realize it's completely incorrect, etymologically speaking.
From a technical perspective, microphones tend to fail to pick up (or pick up and then discard) the higher and lower frequencies in peoples' voices for compression and fidelity purposes; it's part of the reason why your voice generally sounds different when you're speaking from when you're hearing a recording of yourself. So since RL friends are detecting it but online friends aren't, it's entirely possible that the frequencies in your voice that signal "gay voice" simply aren't being transmitted. You could try recording your voice with the same mic and playing it back to see if your roommates notice a difference.
From a social perspective, for all that the "gay voice" stereotype is played up, you'd think it would be easier for people to pick out, wouldn't you? When I hit the "dropping increasingly-blatant hints and/or being stereotypical to amuse myself and see who figures it out" phase of my coming-out process, I would occasionally greet people with a slightly higher-pitched, more musical "Hellooo there" or answer the phone with a drawn-out Hello~. No one noticed a thing. However, the slightly feminine guy in one of my classes last year had a slight lisp that was mostly gone after years of speech therapy, and whenever something he said had the thlightest hint of a lithp, people started making gay jokes.
Some people can watch Glee, wear rainbow clothing, have the high voice and limp wrist, talk about fashion, and exclaim over how much you like Lady Gaga, Adele, and [some third 'gay icon' that I'm not gay enough to know about ], yet not set off peoples' gaydar, while other otherwise-"normal" people can hum two bars from [insert name of popular musical] and have gay jokes follow them for months. It just depends on context and your friends' perceptiveness. Maybe you just blend in with the straight stereotype too much (a quality one of my friends refers to as "homoflage") in terms of speech mannerisms for your WoW friends to notice your voice without any physical or other cues to correlate them with.
-
2012-08-29, 03:53 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Location
- Somewhere south of Hell
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Well, personally? I've found that if you're male, and a female friend says you sound manly, odds are good she is in to you.
Although Po'DL has the better explanation.
Golentan, I understand what you mean. It's all good. I think the only thing most people want out of those situations is for you to understand that it's your reception and they aren't the lesser for it. I have my own handups, as well. Don't sweat it if you have a choice.
-
2012-08-29, 05:54 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
- Location
- Ashes...
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
I've never been homosexual (says the person wearing the "female" icon who likes girls), but I would assume that this is one of the hardest parts (aside from the irrational hatred and bigotry, of course). Straight folk have 45% of the population that could, potentially, at least, be a partner for them, and they are perfectly able to look at the other 5% they're attracted to without much fear of retribution. Homosexuals, on the other hand, only have about 5% of the population that could potentially be a partner, and being caught looking at someone who's not in that small percentage could very well be a very bad thing, either because the person doesn't like it, or others in the vicinity don't. Plus, because of the unfortunately rampant homophobia in America, the small percentage of people you could love and could love you back are likely to be unwilling to identify themselves. That seems rough.
So, I've got my first consultation with a therapist today, and another tomorrow. I'm very nervous and jittery, and I didn't sleep too well. I have no idea what kind of questions they're going to ask, or whether I'll be able to answer (I have a very hard time talking out loud). Hopefully everything goes well, and I can find someone who can help me."It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale." --Iroh
LGBTAitP! If you want to talk, learn, or have some fun, stop by!
Avatar by the lovely Lycunadari!
-
2012-08-29, 05:57 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
-
2012-08-29, 06:01 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
No offence (agh I've been reading too many British things lately and now my P-Chem prof is British and says 'schedule' the British way and I'll never be able to say it properly again) taken at all. I wouldn't even call it a failing of yours, just a different way of being.
And here's the why: some neurological connections got "crossed", or didn't form, or formed differently, or whatever. According to current theory anyway I guess. Unless you're House in which case we all probably have prostate cancer.
I think you're having trouble getting the "how" more than the "why".
I'm the complete opposite of you. I have no idea how humans feel sexual and romantic attraction. (Or at least so easily, because I have felt it before, but even remembering that feels like I'm looking at someone else because it's not there anymore and I can hardly imagine how it felt.) It's the fourth day of school, sixth for new students with orientation, and I'm seeing so many couples, and I'm just like, whoa, slow down, how do you people do that?
Well, I'm sure some people just completely miss it. Or it got lost between your mic and her headphones/speakers and ears.
I used to be able to talk with a perfect "gay half-lisp". I don't remember why and I can't do it anymore.Last edited by noparlpf; 2012-08-29 at 02:58 PM.
Jude P.
-
2012-08-29, 07:10 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
-
2012-08-29, 07:29 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
- Location
- QLD, Australia
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
/chuckles She's engaged, so she's not into me. Thank you both though :)
Also.. Am I the only person who likes feeling out to -everyone-? I mean, I can't even talk to many people (mostly online) for long without saying something about my sexuality, because I feel weird, like I'm hiding it from them. And I just feel plain wrong.. Does anyone else feel like this?
-
2012-08-29, 07:55 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
- Location
- Ashes...
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Thanks. There's hoping!
I'm going to be meeting with at least three different therapists first, so I can try to get a feel for which one will fit best. And I'm not so much nervous about them as I am about what I'll discover about myself. I have a very good, very effective technique for self discovery, but I've been steadfastly avoiding using it for the past couple of years because I knew there were some things I wasn't ready for yet. This will basically someone else doing the same thing."It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale." --Iroh
LGBTAitP! If you want to talk, learn, or have some fun, stop by!
Avatar by the lovely Lycunadari!
-
2012-08-29, 08:30 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
- Location
- Duitsland
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
This. Personally, the constantly changing relationship dynamics that people had in my school seemed more unusual - really, not a day went by without someone breaking up or un-breaking up or finding someone new.
The concept of being in a relationship with someone, then ending it and starting a new one all inside of one month is totally foreign to me. In fact, just sort of starting something with someone seems strange to me.
I often have trouble understanding the mindset of people who do certain things until I do so myself (recent example: paying money for alternate character art in a game that's otherwise free), so it might just be that.
-
2012-08-29, 08:55 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
I feel like that occasionally. Usually when a girl is flirting with me or when a guy is talking about boobs.
Good luck!
Re: "not being in a relationship = bad"
This is something I hate about where our society is going. Women are finally heading towards equal rights and equal social standing, and yet our girl children are still being raised (especially by the media) to believe that they're worthless unless they're in a relationship, and that their value is in their ovaries. Likewise, male children are raised to believe that masculinity is the most important thing and that masculinity means bedding as many women as possible.
So there's an LGBTA+ picnic today. I think I'll go for free food (I hope) and also because it's a way to meet people.Jude P.
-
2012-08-29, 10:19 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
- Location
- Legend
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Last edited by Saposhiente; 2012-08-29 at 10:20 AM.
Technical Admin of the Minecraft server. Whitelist is here; put your name there and post it in the thread.
The overly long monstrosity that is my extended signature lies here.
Avatar by Akrim.elf
-
2012-08-29, 10:26 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
- Location
- In the Final Frontier
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Co-Founder of LUTAS.
For all you lesser superheroes out there.
Custom STO avatar by Durkoala.
A novella about a wizard and a rock star, cross-dimensional travel, and healing wounds neither knew were there.
Spoiler: Online stuffsLentrax has a Deviantart now, check it out!
Streaming Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 11CST on Twitch.
Follow me on Twitter!
-
2012-08-29, 11:11 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- North
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
It makes you no worse at all. That you are trying to understand people so different from you makes you many times better than most. ^_^
I am not sure it helps, but I understand sexual people by thinking of it as eating liquorice. Gross and not interesting to me, but just a difference in taste. I quite enjoy friendships and chocolate, for instance, so I see how romance and liquorice would be fun.
Like either\ˈgās\ or /geɪs/? :3
Hope it goes superbly. Therapy can be quite tough, but I am sure it will lead to much good. ^_^Treasured Quotes
-
2012-08-29, 11:32 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
-
2012-08-29, 11:48 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
- Location
- Malsheem, Nessus
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
I kind of feel like that. I always wait until it's relevant to the topic (e.g. significant others, politics and gay marriage, etc.) so it doesn't sound like "Hi, I'm [Dice], did I mention I'm gay?" so I sometimes have to resign myself to not mentioning it for a while...though occasionally I've found myself steering a conversation towards a relevant topic just so I can get it over with.
I like the way you think.
-
2012-08-29, 12:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2011
- Location
- Below sea level
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Oh my, so many troubled peole, I think not even chocolate on it's own can fix it...
So, without further ado: Hugs for those in need of them, and some mouthfulls of what's in the spoiler for those in need of comfort and a pick me up.
Spoiler
for those wondering what eldritch abomination this is, it is my own take on someone else's take on the combination of cake and tiramisu, it's a massively comforting and stomach filling combination of cake, tiramisu and chocolate. Be warned, it may have some rum and coffee liquer in it. (recipies can be given on request through PM)Warlock Poetry?
Or ways to use me in game?
Better grab a drink...
Currently ruining Strahd's day - Avatar by the Outstanding Smuchsmuch
First Ordained Jr. Tormlet by LoyalPaladin
-
2012-08-29, 12:27 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2007
- Location
- SE Idaho
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
No, you aren't. I feel weird talking to people who don't know I'm lesbian. I can never find a smooth way to bring it up in conversation, though.
Back when I wasn't out as trans to everyone, I felt the same way (but more so) talking to anyone who didn't know I was a girl.
Probably something to do with what identities are important to us."Any technology, no matter how primitive, is magic to those who don't understand it" - Florence Ambrose
LGBTAitp
-
2012-08-29, 12:43 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
*sigh*
Why are people so fixated on whether sexual orientation is genetic, environmental or chosen?
It doesn't matter. There's nothing wrong with having a specific sexual orientation. Who cares? Why can't people understand that?
It might be interesting because it tells us how the brain represents things like these but apart from that? Mind your own business.Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
-
2012-08-29, 01:11 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
- Gender
-
2012-08-29, 01:32 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
... I came to appreciate that mountains make poor receptacles for dreams.
-
2012-08-29, 01:58 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Ok.
Why are cats always on the wrong side of a closed door?Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
-
2012-08-29, 02:02 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Usaki City, Syona
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Because a cat defines 'wrong side' as 'side I am on'.
(paws at Asta's ankle, mews)Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
-
2012-08-29, 02:11 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
*scratch behind ear*
*pats rump*Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
-
2012-08-29, 02:12 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Bottom of a well
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Shame. SHAME! Civilization is a move towards collaborative building and functional empathy beyond the instinctive ties and bonds of genetics. Other side effects (which I do not acknowledge that quote as having hit upon) are just that: side effects. Usually memetic, sometimes genetic side effects. Some of which are cool, some of which are horrendous.
Asta, people care about the origin of sexuality because, due to cultural evolution, sexuality is seen as a matter for social commentary by so many. Basically, due to cultural evolution leading to a stigmatization of some sexual orientations for reasons that are probably beyond ability to speculate accurately on, cultural weft and baggage has clung to sexual identity. People judge sexuality through the lens of that old vision, and are forced to take a stand on the accuracy of the old ways vs. the actions of the individual. Part of it is the assignation of blame: by accepting something as an inborn trait (and thus endorsed by nature or god or whatever else you care to invoke) over which someone else has no control, many if not most thinkers along those lines remove sexuality from the realm of moral commentary as a way of dodging the issue. Basically, the question of "born this way" matters to people unwilling to shed cultural inhibitions in favor of other standards. Better than the alternative, still a crutch.
-
2012-08-29, 02:23 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Maybe we could reserve the political philosophy for another forum.
Yes, I know. I know that people care about these things. It's just that sometimes I get so sad because people are so stupid.
Meh. Rant over.Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
-
2012-08-29, 02:45 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Xin-Shalast
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
I always found it to be an offensive and nonsensical stereotype and so I thought for the longest time that it was a bit of gay-bashing that had been coopted by camp performers and so was never used in a serious, identifying way but rather to either mock gays or to mock bigots by playing the role of a fabulous person in a specific social setting or work of fiction. So my mind more goes to homophobia and poking fun at it more than anything else when I hear someone use that voice.
...When I don't want to stop up my ears because most people can't do the voice right...