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    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    I've lived in Canada all my life and, until this morning, I had no idea that we had the world's largest maple syrup reserve.

    Or that you could apparently steal it.

    Somewhere in the world, there is a group of thieves with apparently millions of litres of maple syrup, no doubt planning the most ambitious pancake breakfast of all time.
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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    Epic Meal Time has gone too far!
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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    In related news: Mrs. Butterworth was seen as quote: Laughing manically with long time partner Aunt Jemimah. More on this story as it develops. Now back to the newsroom.

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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    Quote Originally Posted by Candle Jack View Post
    I've lived in Canada all my life and, until this morning, I had no idea that we had the world's largest maple syrup reserve.
    If not us, then who else?
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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    In completely unrelated news, I have very recently developed type 2 diabetes.


    ...completely unrelated, mind you.
    Only an animal does useful things. An animal gets food, finds a place to sleep, tries to keep comfortable. But I wanted to do something that was not useful, not like an animal at all. Something only a human being would do.
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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickerdart View Post
    If not us, then who else?
    Isn't the fact that there are maple syrup reserves in the first place is a bit of a shocker?
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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    RIP Canadian economy

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    Quote Originally Posted by LaZodiac View Post
    Epic Meal Time has gone too far!
    my first thought too...

    *places bet this will be in next weeks's feeddump*
    Last edited by Archonic Energy; 2012-08-31 at 03:18 PM.
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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    It gets better: the official name of the reserve is the "Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve".

    STRATEGIC.

    The Canadian route to domination begins with control over the maple syrup, than all the comedians, then THE WORLD
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll View Post
    It gets better: the official name of the reserve is the "Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve".
    How did I miss that?

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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    Quote Originally Posted by Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll View Post
    It gets better: the official name of the reserve is the "Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve".

    STRATEGIC.
    This is literally the greatest thing I have ever heard.
    Only an animal does useful things. An animal gets food, finds a place to sleep, tries to keep comfortable. But I wanted to do something that was not useful, not like an animal at all. Something only a human being would do.
    - Gerard d’Aboville

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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    Screw Ocean's Somenumber, I want a movie of that heist.

    If we go with the Strategic Reserve angle the thieves may well make a decent Bond villain too.
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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    I had to google it in French to understand what the heck this could mean !

    In fact, this has nothing to do with national defence or anything of the kind. The reserve is strategic from the maple syrup industry's perspective. They use it to protect themselves against price peaks and crashes, do of which can be very damaging to their business.

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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    If we go with the Strategic Reserve angle the thieves may well make a decent Bond villain too.
    The villain plans to poison the syrup, and the movie will end with a dramatic fight over bioling tanks of maple syrup, in which Bond will throw the villain.

    "He's got a pretty sweet deal"
    Si non confectus, non reficiat.

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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    Quote Originally Posted by GolemsVoice View Post
    The villain plans to poison the syrup, and the movie will end with a dramatic fight over bioling tanks of maple syrup, in which Bond will throw the villain.

    "He's got a pretty sweet deal"
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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    Quote Originally Posted by Gwynfrid View Post
    I had to google it in French to understand what the heck this could mean !

    In fact, this has nothing to do with national defence or anything of the kind. The reserve is strategic from the maple syrup industry's perspective. They use it to protect themselves against price peaks and crashes, do of which can be very damaging to their business.
    That's just what SMSR want you to think.

    SMeRSh.

    Think about it. It's just flipped around!

    Wait a minute. SMSR. USSR. Gah!
    Last edited by JCarter426; 2012-09-01 at 11:43 AM.

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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    The joke possibilities, they are endless.



    What really, really, puzzles me is: HOW DID THEY DO IT? I mean, we're talking MILLIONS of gallons. Did they drive an oil tanker through the wall?

    "Hey, we wanted to park this here, and, uh, leave a suspicious hose attatched to it, which also just happens to be attached to your gigantic oil maple syrup reserve..."
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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    it's canada... they drove up and said that they were stealing some syrup and the guards said "ok, did you need to take my car too?".
    Last edited by Archonic Energy; 2012-09-01 at 12:10 PM.
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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    Quote Originally Posted by SamBurke View Post
    What really, really, puzzles me is: HOW DID THEY DO IT? I mean, we're talking MILLIONS of gallons. Did they drive an oil tanker through the wall?

    "Hey, we wanted to park this here, and, uh, leave a suspicious hose attatched to it, which also just happens to be attached to your gigantic oil maple syrup reserve..."
    I saw it on TV, but it was with methylamine.

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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    Oh, but it was all insured, so the owners won't lose out financially. On the other hand, the company that was collecting premiums off of maple syrup insurance are doubtlessly kicking themselves at this unthinkable travesty.

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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    Quote Originally Posted by GolemsVoice View Post
    The villain plans to poison the syrup, and the movie will end with a dramatic fight over bioling tanks of maple syrup, in which Bond will throw the villain.

    "He's got a pretty sweet deal"
    This is brilliant and you are brilliant

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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    I am pretty sure it would be the number two guy that goes into the vat. Spoken by the snarky sidekick: "You know 007, you always do manage to land everyone else in a sticky situation."

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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    And there was a great putting on of sunglasses. I wonder how many sexual puns Bond could make to his girl of the week? Likely named Debora Honeypotts or something like that.


    M.A.P.L.E. Middle-and-North-American People's League of Evil. A communist cell implanted in the US and Canada during the height of the Cold War, with the intent of holding the capitalist, decadent west hostage by taking away it's access to sweet syrup, and thus to pancakes, and demanding a ransom, or else the degenerate capitalist consumers will lose trust in it's government and revolt. Because what's more American than pancakes for breakfast? And what's more Canadian than Maple Syrup? Nothing, that's what. They could just as well have stolen the Statue of Liberty and whatever Canada is famous for!

    But seriously, SamBurke asked a pretty good question, how did it work? Inquiring minds got to know!
    Si non confectus, non reficiat.

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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    Quote Originally Posted by willpell View Post
    Oh, but it was all insured, so the owners won't lose out financially. On the other hand, the company that was collecting premiums off of maple syrup insurance are doubtlessly kicking themselves at this unthinkable travesty.
    My guess is that the barrels were empty to begin with, and that this is all an insurance fraud scheme.
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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    Quote Originally Posted by SDF View Post
    RIP Canadian economy
    well it WAS insured...
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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    Quote Originally Posted by GolemsVoice View Post
    And there was a great putting on of sunglasses. I wonder how many sexual puns Bond could make to his girl of the week? Likely named Debora Honeypotts or something like that.


    M.A.P.L.E. Middle-and-North-American People's League of Evil. A communist cell implanted in the US and Canada during the height of the Cold War, with the intent of holding the capitalist, decadent west hostage by taking away it's access to sweet syrup, and thus to pancakes, and demanding a ransom, or else the degenerate capitalist consumers will lose trust in it's government and revolt. Because what's more American than pancakes for breakfast? And what's more Canadian than Maple Syrup? Nothing, that's what. They could just as well have stolen the Statue of Liberty and whatever Canada is famous for!

    But seriously, SamBurke asked a pretty good question, how did it work? Inquiring minds got to know!
    Deborah Honeypotts : "Oh James, what are you doing?"
    James Bond "My dear Miss Honeypotts, I seem to have developed a sweet tooth." /goes back under the covers.
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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    Quote Originally Posted by GolemsVoice View Post
    They could just as well have stolen the Statue of Liberty and whatever Canada is famous for!
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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    Quote Originally Posted by Candle Jack View Post
    I've lived in Canada all my life and, until this morning, I had no idea that we had the world's largest maple syrup reserve.

    Or that you could apparently steal it.

    Somewhere in the world, there is a group of thieves with apparently millions of litres of maple syrup, no doubt planning the most ambitious pancake breakfast of all time.
    I don't even know how to react. Is this a real thing? There are maple syrup reserves? In case of what? How do you steal thirty million liters of syrup? What the heck do you transport that in? Where do you hide it?

    Only in Canada.
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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    What kind of magic ritual would demand a million liters of maple syrup as material component?
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    Default Re: The Great Maple Syrup Heist

    Quote Originally Posted by Asta Kask View Post
    What kind of magic ritual would demand a million liters of maple syrup as material component?
    Summon Syrup Monolith?
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