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[rorikdude12]

The lock yields quickly under Paul's cloven-hooved skill. Inside are three items:

a purple-red potion
a scroll labelled ELBIB YLOH
a scroll labelled GARVEN DEH

Barston copies down the symbols on the scrolls into his spellbook. (2d6)[4]

"Well, now we know. Let's be off."

[Gaius]

Paul plucks out the potion, frowning slightly. Well, it's edible, but he was hoping for something more... robust, he supposes. Still, the flavor could make up for it and that sets his little curly tail to wagging. He proceeds to snuffle at it, drinking in the aroma, alongside all the important traits -- smell, likely flavor, texture, component ingredients and their preparations... Maybe even what it does. (Optimistic Pig-boy (2d6)[4])

It should be abundantly clear what Paul will probably be doing with the potion if nobody takes action.

[sonofzeal]

Iglam quietly pockets the scrolls after Barston is done with them. If that ELBIB YLOH was what he though it was, it might be useful. He peers at the twisting runes to decifer its true meaning and power.

Spoiler

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Conjurer Wizard (4d6)[12]
And Conjurer Wizard (4d6)[9] for deciphering GARVEN DEH too.

[Mordae]

Paul suddenly feels new energy and can run at twice his normal speed!

Iglam can't quite discern what the scrolls are for. He pockets them and hopes for a better time to study them in detail.

The door swings open easily, and the troupe proceeds into a narrow, musty stone corridor lit only by Iglam's torch. It weaves and winds for quite some ways before coming to another faintly illuminated chamber. This room has three doorways, all open arches with no wood; one leads north, another east, and another (through which the party entered) west. A small fountain in one corner bubbles and froths merrily, the only decoration in the space. There is a also discarded mace lying near the east door.

[rorikdude12]

Barston, feeling INCREDIBLY thirsty, drinks from the fountain.

[Mordae]

The cool draught of water is incredibly refreshing for the thirsty communist.

Somewhere in the distance, an odd sound carries through the old stone corridor. It sounds like a hawker advertising his wares...

[sonofzeal]

Iglam strains his ears to the north and east exists, hoping for a hint of where the sound might be coming from. Greed and corruption always rang in the clattering of coins, and it was a sound he was especially sensitive too.

(Eeeeeevil Human (2d6)[6])

[rorikdude12]

Barston tries to detect the noise... He must KILL the capitalist...

(2d6)[8]

[Mordae]

By best guess, the sound seems to be coming from the east doorway.

[rorikdude12]

Barston sprints up to the eastern doorway and tries to open the eastern door.

[sonofzeal]

Iglam follows Barston, hoping to forstall the inevitable carnage. Giant flaming demons of the abyss didn't intimidate Iglam, but he'd learned not to underestimate shopkeepers.....

[Gaius]

Paul looks up with a grunt from lapping at the bottle's interior, and then follows his companions toward the merchant. Possibly making him the first to arrive, fleet of hoof as he suddenly is. The swine has high expectations: merchants in the depths of a dungeon always have impressive stuff or are otherwise worthy of note.

[Mordae]

Potion-aided Paul is the first one to rush through the eastern doorway and along the dark passage to the next room. Suddenly, the pig-boy pulls up short. The chamber ahead is not a shop--in fact, it's crawling with walking corpses! The beasts appear to have once been short, scaly kobolds, but now they are soulless abominations. "Brainsssss," they hiss as one, reaching out for the flesh of the living...

Ragged tapestries drape the south and east walls. Additionally, there is a wooden chest sitting near the southeast corner of the room.

o-------+--o
|         Z|
-BI    Z   |
|CP     (Z |
|      Z   |
o----------o

Spoiler

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B Barston
I Iglam
P Paul
C Isaiah Christmas

Z Kobold zombie

( Chest

Initiative goes to the players.

[rorikdude12]

Barston stabs a mzombie through its eyeafter vaulting over Iglam.

"Capitalist Ambush!"

(4d6)[12]

[Gaius]

((Sorry for the delays))

Paul squeals in surprise at the adversaries. Arms flail to keep his balance as little hooves skid on the stone floor; the little porker nearly falls flat on his snout. Still, zombie kobolds sound menacing, which means they've found their way into many a story. In which they've had a surprisingly common (and specific) frailty. "Left knee!" he shouts to his companions, weaving around one of the undead kobolds to stab his knife at the described locale.
(Trope-spotting Story Lover (3d6)[5][3][6](14)

[sonofzeal]

Iglam

Iglam stretches his bony fingers wide, crimson cloak billowing behind hi in an unseen breeze. "Ahaha! Fellow creatures of darkness and corruption, heed my call!"

Spoiler

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Eeeeevil Human, (1d6)[5]/(1d6)[5]/(1d6)[1], trying to gain control of the necromantic forces animating one of them. Preferably one that hasn't been kneecap'd already.

[Mordae]

Paul and Barston rush into combat, striking clean blows against their enemies and sending zombie parts splattering across the dusty stone floor. Iglam tries in vain to slow his allies' assault, which clearly has a deleterious effect on his attempt to win over one of the living dead to his side. The two remaining ones shamble toward him, not to serve but to be served dinner.

"Not so fast, our brains are not in the cards for tonight" Isaiah Christmas quips as he sends a razor-sharp playing card spinning through the air. It neatly bisects the left knee of one of the revenants, reducing it to an easily dispatchable heap on the floor.

All good--except for the remaining zombie stretching out for Iglam's tasty grey matter...

"Bargain prices!" calls the unseen shopkeeper from a distance.

Spoiler

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IC's card attack: (4d6)[6][6][2][1](15)

Zombie defenses:
vs Barston: (2d6)[3][6](9)
vs Iglam: (2d6)[1][6](7)
vs Paul: (2d6)[1][4](5)
vs IC: [rollv]2d6[/rollv

Rolling a few times to try and get a 4d6=12 for Barston's individual dice rolls:
(4d6)[2][2][6][5](15)
(4d6)[5][2][3][4](14)
(4d6)[1][4][2][6](13)
(4d6)[5][6][4][1](16)
(4d6)[3][2][4][4](13)
(4d6)[6][1][2][6](15)
(4d6)[3][6][1][4](14)
(4d6)[1][3][6][3](13)
(4d6)[6][1][1][5](13)
(4d6)[5][1][3][5](14)

Close enough.

[rorikdude12]

Barston leaps in front of Iglam and prepares to parry the blows of his undead foes!

"Summon something, silly mage!"

(4d6)[15]

[Gaius]

Paul's aspirations of heroism mean his face lights up with glee, and a hint of adulation, at Isaiah's display and remark. "So cool..." he says absently.

Still, their trials aren't over, so Paul's fanboying will have to wait. Should the communist turn out to need the help, the potion-powered porker bolts forward to turn his knife on The People's Zombie. Afterward (or instead), it's onto The People's Chest.

Spoiler

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Cute Innocent Rogue: (4d6)[2][5][3][4](14) for the zombie, or the chest if it's bitten the dust
(4d6)[6][2][3][6](17) for the chest, if the zombie's knee remained intact

[Mordae]

Barston heroically stands in front of Iglam, blocking a couple of clumsy swings from the zombie. Paul then darts in from behind, neatly bisecting the zombie's left knee and ending the threat.

The chest yields quickly to the pig-faced rogue's skill. Within are three food rations and an effervescent potion.

[rorikdude12]

Barston grabs the potion and continues towards the shopkeeper.

[Mordae]

Barston leads the way through the door to the north as hungry Paul presumably picks up the food rations that had teased his nose from upstairs. Paul's sudden burst of speed from the potion appears to have worn off.

The foursome pick their way through the dusty stone-walled passages, only to arrive at another chamber that is definitely not a shop. This small room is inhabited by strange varicolored mushrooms (one yellow, one red, one purple), the last of which emits an ear-piercing shriek as the heroes approach! Aside from the threatening fungi, there is a set of stone stairs leading down into darkness...

o----o
|FF >|
|   F|
o-B--o
  IC
   P

F yellow, red, purple mushrooms (from left to right)
B Barston
I Iglam
C Isaiah Christmas
P Paul

Party action.

[rorikdude12]

Barston leaps forth to skewer a purple mushroom!

(4d6)[11]

[Gaius]

Paul does indeed collect the rations with a grunt of good cheer. Still, much as he'd like to introduce the food to his snout, he decides to restrain himself for now. Mostly to prove he can, though he offers some to anyone who's hungry. He supposes practice seems wise, as it's something he'd have to get good at if he wants to be a hero. Much as such thoughts make him wonder if that is what he wants.

Restraint can only be pushed so far, though. The mushroom's scream is followed by a squeal from Paul, who brings a hand to a floppy ear. Fortunately, mushroom sounds like just the thing to cheer him up -- no need to root for them, even. He charges the fungi with a vaguely fearsome squeal, and pigs out on whichever one smells tastiest (or, failing that, least deadly).

(Optimistic Pig-boy: (2d6)[4][3](7))

[sonofzeal]

Iglam turns up his nose. Fungus! How demeaning! With a snap of his wrists he conjures some fungicide to dispense with whichever one the other two have thus far left unmolested.

Spoiler

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Conjurer Wizard (1d6)[5](1d6)[1](1d6)[2](1d6)[1]

[Mordae]

Barston slices through the purple mushroom with his blade, leaving both halves dead. The pathetic fungus lets out a bit of a shriek as it plops to the ground.

Paul bites into the red mushroom but finds it has a bite of its own! The poor pig-boy's mouth seems to catch flames as the heat from the strange fungus sears his muscled tongue. (Lose one die from Optimistic Pig-Boy cliche)

A sickly-sweet cloud envelops the yellow mushroom, which seems to wilt a bit under the assault but doesn't go entirely to ground. It seems even the diabolic forces of Iglam's magic cannot overcome the common sense laws that limit overapplication of pesticides.

Spoiler

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Rerolling for Barston--need to remember to use rollv! (4d6)[4][2][6][4](16)
Yellow mushroom spory goodness (2d6)[2][2](4)
Red mushroom capsaicin (2d6)[5][3](8)
Purple mushroom natural rubberiness (1d6)[1](1)
Purple mushroom shriek (2d6)[1][2](3)

[Maeglin_Dubh]

Isaiah brings his hands up, a card in each, and heads over to the staircase to head off anything that might be coming up in response to the sounds of the struggle.

[Gaius]

Paul looses a blending of squeal and scream as he jerks his snout back. He opens his mouth to let the injured tongue loll out. The subterranean air likely helps, if only psychologically.

Tears well up at the corners of Paul's eyes, but fury begins to shine through the centers. He gives an aggressive snort, not unlike a wild boar, and readies his blades. There may not be a recipe calling for it, but he's eager to mince some mushrooms.
Cute Innocent Rogue: (4d6)[1][4][1][4](10)

[sonofzeal]

Iglam, foiled in his previous attempt, resorts to harsher methods. Speaking some of the darkest words of power in all creation and uncreation, he attempted to ignite the shrooms with unholy fire....

Spoiler

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IIRC I took damage to Eeeeevil Human before, and that means I roll one less die there, right?

(1d6)[6](1d6)[5]

If I'm mistaken, here's the third: (1d6)[6]

[rorikdude12]

Barston turns, and slices through both the freakish fungi!

(4d6)[4][5][5][4](18)