Mercenary Pen's Meticulously Planned Machine of Prose Random Banter #182

[AsteriskAmp]

I think I said something about time and commitment, and I think the flight back and forth would eat cost me any gain in terms of time and money...

The reason is not in the goal but in the process. Flying across the Atlantic on your own is just that much better than simply going Air Canada.

Also, I have standards. Not to make assumptions about a system I know nothing about, it's just that I trust our system more. I'd rather commit myself and fail because I'm not ready than slack and succeed just to end up as a fine red spatter on some random mountain side half a week later.

If you can fly 10 hours solo I think it's reasonable to assume you won't end up as a splatter.

I would prefer not having to make a stopover on Greenland. Also, a plane that I won't have to push to the limit. Also I'm an engineer, a plane without excessive amounts of gadgets is a bad plane. Like a coffee cooker (I'll have to develope some kind of brewing procedure for a high-caffeine tea as well, seeing as I don't like the taste of coffee), autopilot, satellite internet, 230V power outlets for the standard european plug, refrigerator, central computer, missile countermeassures...

But Greenland is so... ironic?... still, bragging rights to having flown there and most of the routes across the Atlantic on private planes will have to pass through it.

Nothing prevents you from adding gadgets to it. Though it seems what you really want is a Ford Explorer with wings on it... and missile countermeassures, not that I'd see the need for one of those, much less on a plane which I think should actually be looking into weather countermeassures before that.

Yeah, I suppose I could do that to hone Lindberg's Swedish ancestry...

And on the upside, since you are stealing it anyway you don't need a license to fly it.

My French makes me sound like a Spaniard.

I have yet to get confirmation as to whether that would get me more or less hate than sounding like an American.

How can that even happen?

Spaniards use sh instead of s. French use u instead of o and é instead of e. The accidents don't match at all.

[Teddy]

The reason is not in the goal but in the process. Flying across the Atlantic on your own is just that much better than simply going Air Canada.

Yes, but having to go Air Peru twice seems like a bit of a detour from the process as well to me.

If you can fly 10 hours solo I think it's reasonable to assume you won't end up as a splatter.

That depends. Some of the best pilots come from either Schweiz or Norway, just because flying among mountains poses so much more of a challenge than flying in open terrain. Taken from the other end, I wouldn't trust an inexperienced pilot with neither Schweitz nor Norway, nor the shortest route from here to LaLaLand (which, for the record, takes me straight over Norway).

But Greenland is so... ironic?... still, bragging rights to having flown there and most of the routes across the Atlantic on private planes will have to pass through it.

I know, I just don't want to go down for a landing.

Nothing prevents you from adding gadgets to it. Though it seems what you really want is a Ford Explorer with wings on it... and missile countermeassures, not that I'd see the need for one of those, much less on a plane which I think should actually be looking into weather countermeassures before that.

The load limit does. And you never know when you might find good use for missile countermeassures. And I thought weather countermeassures were a given, just like NBC protection and EMP shielding.

[Cobra_Ikari]

I can only speak english, and even then I'm not exactly the best at it

Same here. If I'm really excited and happy and talking to fast, expect a lot of gibberish babbling while I try to say eight different words at the same time. Then me going "Bleh, ENGLISH!", because, for some reason, that's what it takes to fix it. =P

[HalfTangible]

Lazodiac was hopping' around
The forum known as the playground
When suddenly MoonCat burst from the shade
And hit Zodi with a cat grenade
Zodiac got pissed and...

... Forget it, can't do this from my phone... The only thing about this idea that I'm sure of is fredaintdead is gonna 'pop out of his grave'

[Kneenibble]

The thing is, due to the British Empire and later America, English has become the lingua franca of the world. It's the language of politics and science. It makes sense for everyone to learn English, because English is so important. But for those of us who have English as our first language, there isn't another language that's as universally valuable to learn - we already know the lingua franca.

I have tried and tried to convince my friends to learn Latin, in order that we native English speakers in this cosmopolitan nation might have a secret language of our own. But nulla alea.

[AtlanteanTroll]

So today, I heard that this was a popular joke in Europe:

Spoiler

Show

If someone knows two languages, they're bilingual. If someone knows three languages, they're trilingual. So what do you call someone who only knows one language? American.

... It hurts because it's true.

It's only true and upsetting if you let it be.

[LaZodiac]

Atlantean I know I've said this a couple of times before but man, your avatar is Red Xing all over the place.

[Amidus Drexel]

So today, I heard that this was a popular joke in Europe:

Spoiler

Show

If someone knows two languages, they're bilingual. If someone knows three languages, they're trilingual. So what do you call someone who only knows one language? American.

Too funny!

[AsteriskAmp]

Yes, but having to go Air Peru twice seems like a bit of a detour from the process as well to me.

There is no such thing as Air Peru...

You could get the license down here and pick up your Cessna from Missouri on the way back up and fly the last leg to northern Canada, and then get back through... Greenland.

That depends. Some of the best pilots come from either Schweiz or Norway, just because flying among mountains poses so much more of a challenge than flying in open terrain. Taken from the other end, I wouldn't trust an inexperienced pilot with neither Schweitz nor Norway, nor the shortest route from here to LaLaLand (which, for the record, takes me straight over Norway).

Peru has mountains as well, many many more, and our planes are also less technologically advanced meaning they have to do more with less. Better cheap flight quality training on QUALITY planes.

The load limit does. And you never know when you might find good use for missile countermeassures. And I thought weather countermeassures were a given, just like NBC protection and EMP shielding.

It's got EMP shielding by virtue of having most of its functioning be mechanical rather than computer based. NBC protection comes from the gas mask you take along and missile countermeassures come mainly from being too insignificant to be missiled.

[AtlanteanTroll]

Atlantean I know I've said this a couple of times before but man, your avatar is Red Xing all over the place.

Red Xing or just not showing up?

[Coidzor]

Spaniards use sh instead of s. French use u instead of o and é instead of e. The accidents don't match at all.

I'm not sure, exactly. I think part of it is having half a year of French in 5th grade, then a whole year of Spanish every year from 8th grade to 11th grade, which is when the observation was made, after an intense refresher course on French and Spanish prior to going to Europe as part of a school trip. It's also mildly amusing because somehow I'm a throwback as well, so I look more Celtiberian than I really should for someone who only has ties to Spain if one takes the long way through Ireland.

[LaZodiac]

Red Xing or just not showing up?

I said Red Xing, so I mean Red Xing. It's a red x. I right click and press Show Picture and nothing happens. I can screen cap if it pleases you.

[Coidzor]

Red Xing sounds like a great name for a tea. Or perhaps some kind of red chili asian fusion cuisine dish.

[Qwertystop]

Red Xing or just not showing up?

For me it's not showing up.

[Teddy]

There is no such thing as Air Peru...

That's beside the point.

You could get the license down here and pick up your Cessna from Missouri on the way back up and fly the last leg to northern Canada, and then get back through... Greenland.

Nah, too complicated.

Peru has mountains as well, many many more, and our planes are also less technologically advanced meaning they have to do more with less. Better cheap flight quality training on QUALITY planes.

True, but scratch cheap. Even a one-week trip to Peru would probably cost me more than getting my flight certificate here in Sweden would to start with. I'll save the world for my post-certificate world trip.

It's got EMP shielding by virtue of having most of its functioning be mechanical rather than computer based. NBC protection comes from the gas mask you take along and missile countermeassures come mainly from being too insignificant to be missiled.

But the central computer needs to be shielded if I am to run my algorithms for world domination. And missiles, you're never too insignificant to be missiled, you just haven't realised your potential value as a target yet.

[MoonCat]

Lazodiac was hopping' around
The forum known as the playground
When suddenly MoonCat burst from the shade
And hit Zodi with a cat grenade
Zodiac got pissed and...

... Forget it, can't do this from my phone... The only thing about this idea that I'm sure of is fredaintdead is gonna 'pop out of his grave'

**** YES I AM BATMAN

Although, may I suggest, if you're keeping the original rhymes, have LaLa be Shaq, as she is probably the only person who will rhyme and fit (with some syllable-squeezing)

Perhaps

Once HalfTan was hopping around
The forum known as The Playground
When suddenly MoonCat burst from the shade
Hit HalfTan with a cat grenade
HalfTan got pissed and began to attack
But didn't expect to blocked by Zodiac
Who proceeded to open up a can of zodiac-fu
When Mercenary Pen came out of the blue..

Then he started beating up LaLa-Zodiac,
When they both were flattened by the car of the Cat's
But before she could make it back to the Catcave
fredaintdead leaped right out of his grave
Took an AK-47 out from under his hat
And blew MoonCat away with a rat-a-tat-tat
But he ran out of bullets and he ran away
Because Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll came to save the day...

Those are the first two verses. Too tired now for anything else.

ION: So, I got called a 'creepy bisexual midget' today. New level of win for me?

[LaZodiac]

I approve of this level of win! Though I disagree with the creepy part, I personaly find you very awesome

[Mutant Sheep]

So today, I heard that this was a popular joke in Europe:

Spoiler

Show

If someone knows two languages, they're bilingual. If someone knows three languages, they're trilingual. So what do you call someone who only knows one language? American.

... It hurts because it's true.

I'm sorry, I'm busy giggling at the legitly silly joke. Taking offense at the one attempt Europeans have got at humor isn't very nice.

[Mercenary Pen]

I'm sorry, I'm busy giggling at the legitly silly joke. Taking offense at the one attempt Europeans have got at humor isn't very nice.

Yes, because we used up most of our humour allowance before your country even existed

[MoonCat]

I approve of this level of win! Though I disagree with the creepy part, I personaly find you very awesome

I wasn't even bi! I was just trying to describe that one elf chick from LotR, and I couldn't remember her name, so I was calling her 'the hot elf chick, not Arwen, the hot one.' >.<

[HalfTangible]

**** YES I AM BATMAN

Although, may I suggest, if you're keeping the original rhymes, have LaLa be Shaq, as she is probably the only person who will rhyme and fit (with some syllable-squeezing)

Perhaps

Once HalfTan was hopping around
The forum known as The Playground
When suddenly MoonCat burst from the shade
Hit HalfTan with a cat grenade
HalfTan got pissed and began to attack
But didn't expect to blocked by Zodiac
Who proceeded to open up a can of zodiac-fu
When Mercenary Pen came out of the blue..

Then he started beating up LaLa-Zodiac,
When they both were flattened by the car of the Cat's
But before she could make it back to the Catcave
fredaintdead leaped right out of his grave
Took an AK-47 out from under his hat
And blew MoonCat away with a rat-a-tat-tat
But he ran out of bullets and he ran away
Because Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll came to save the day...

Those are the first two verses. Too tired now for anything else.

ION: So, I got called a 'creepy bisexual midget' today. New level of win for me?

Some (questionably) witty come-backs:

"Worst. Pick-up line. Ever!!"
"And yet I'm not desperate enough to hook up with you. What's that tell ya?"
"That's nice."
"You really wanna make this about size?" (wish I'd thought of this years ago)
"At least the voices love me... Isn't that right, [forumer name]?"
"Hey, I was a lesbian before I did your mom"

[Mercenary Pen]

I wasn't even bi! I was just trying to describe that one elf chick from LotR, and I couldn't remember her name, so I was calling her 'the hot elf chick, not Arwen, the hot one.' >.<

Wouldn't be Galadriel would it?

[Cobra_Ikari]

**** YES I AM BATMAN

Although, may I suggest, if you're keeping the original rhymes, have LaLa be Shaq, as she is probably the only person who will rhyme and fit (with some syllable-squeezing)

Perhaps

Once HalfTan was hopping around
The forum known as The Playground
When suddenly MoonCat burst from the shade
Hit HalfTan with a cat grenade
HalfTan got pissed and began to attack
But didn't expect to blocked by Zodiac
Who proceeded to open up a can of zodiac-fu
When Mercenary Pen came out of the blue..

Then he started beating up LaLa-Zodiac,
When they both were flattened by the car of the Cat's
But before she could make it back to the Catcave
fredaintdead leaped right out of his grave
Took an AK-47 out from under his hat
And blew MoonCat away with a rat-a-tat-tat
But he ran out of bullets and he ran away
Because Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll came to save the day...

Those are the first two verses. Too tired now for anything else.

ION: So, I got called a 'creepy bisexual midget' today. New level of win for me?

Maybe they meant "kinky bisexual midget"? That'd make much more sense. Though you aren't THAT small. *cuddles*

Also, I wanna be in the song! Maybe as Chuck Norris. Then you can be crushed by my cuddles instead of between someone's thighs. >.>

EDIT: Galadriel?

And I thought you WERE bi. Are you just saying you weren't saying anything that would out you?

[MoonCat]

Wouldn't be Galadriel would it?

Yeah, that one!

Maybe they meant "kinky bisexual midget"? That'd make much more sense. Though you aren't THAT small. *cuddles*

Also, I wanna be in the song! Maybe as Chuck Norris. Then you can be crushed by my cuddles instead of between someone's thighs. >.>

EDIT: Galadriel?

And I thought you WERE bi. Are you just saying you weren't saying anything that would out you?

They said creepy. And I really am, for my age. Short, I mean. Fortunately, my latest growth spurt might have knocked my into teensy average.

Not badass enough.

Yeah.

I am reasonably certain I am not. I just don't care enough that I constantly joke about it.

Which reminds me, epic news! Crush is kinda in my Wednesday extracurricular. <teh happys>

[Maxios]

My brother is a jackass.

[LaZodiac]

Which reminds me, epic news! Crush is kinda in my Wednesday extracurricular. <teh happys>

Enjoy, and tell me about it, I don't have to have girly girl talk much

[Cobra_Ikari]

They said creepy. And I really am, for my age. Short, I mean. Fortunately, my latest growth spurt might have knocked my into teensy average.

Not badass enough.

Yeah.

I am reasonably certain I am not. I just don't care enough that I constantly joke about it.

Which reminds me, epic news! Crush is kinda in my Wednesday extracurricular. <teh happys>

Well, I know what they said, I'm just saying kinky would have been more accurate. Should I make out with a hot boy to prove it?

Hmm, I don't remember how tall you are, but I thought you were in the 5' range...

What. Not badass enough? Why don't you step over here and say that to my face?
We'll see who's badass when my D&D character kicks your D&D character's ass!

Ah, fair enough, my mistake. *snuggles*...so now I don't have to worry about you seducing all the pretty girls away from me? Just the pretty boys?

Aww, grats! I'm expecting much adorable crushy swoony Moonie updates, mkay? =3

[MoonCat]

My brother is a jackass.

Aww, what happened man?

Enjoy, and tell me about it, I don't have to have girly girl talk much

When I'm done projecting.

Well, I know what they said, I'm just saying kinky would have been more accurate. Should I make out with a hot boy to prove it?

Hmm, I don't remember how tall you are, but I thought you were in the 5' range...

What. Not badass enough? Why don't you step over here and say that to my face?
We'll see who's badass when my D&D character kicks your D&D character's ass!

Ah, fair enough, my mistake. *snuggles*...so now I don't have to worry about you seducing all the pretty girls away from me? Just the pretty boys?

Aww, grats! I'm expecting much adorable crushy swoony Moonie updates, mkay? =3

Nope. We needs two hot boys for that. I nominates Teddy and Nameless.

<mumbles something about 5'0'' - 5'2''range is hardly average for my age.

Yup. Not badass enough. And my character and your character will likely be friends. Or she'll be too depressed to care.

Oh yes you damn well do. I pull 'em all in without even trying!
Look at LaLa. You think I ever flirted with her? (LaLa, say nothing.)

Ugh. I don't do swoony.

I may have drawn a bunch of hearts in my history notebook and then made them red with my English correcting pen. And then made a bullet-pointed list of reasons why he was awesome. But I swear, it was just because I was bored!

[HalfTangible]

My brother is a jackass.

Aren't they all?

[LaZodiac]

For some reason the quote button isn'tworking on Moonie's post.

Anyway, that thing with the notebook sounds hilarious

Also, "nothing"