[FO:E] The Northern Wasteland of Equestria 1

[TheAmishPirate]

[Well it's certainly not a seagull, that's for sure]

Fleetwing's eyes widened; he'd scavenged too many buildings to not know what made that sound. "GET DOWN!" he shouted back as he wasted precious moments scrambling to his hooves. Turns out while crawling was great for not being seen, it wasn't so great for when you had to get up and away in a hurry. But once the pegasus was up, he was off like a shot. He hadn't earned his running cutie mark for nothing.

(The powergamer in me is telling me I kinda deserved this. Fleetwing must become MORE PARANOID.)

[Lycan 01]

Ravine

~Boom~

Two landmines nestled in amongst the rocks explode in conjunction. The doors to the back of the truck are scorched and dented, but they're heavy and strong enough to avoid serious damage, likely protecting the content of the truck.

Fleetwing manages to avoid the blasts themselves. However, the shrapnel is still a serious danger to him and Violetta...

[Rebonack]

[Manehatten - MoM Hub]

Foxtrot manages to bump the chair, nearly knock over the skeleton, and shove the statue out of the corpse's hooves. Geeze, that's really smooth. When he turns to ask his question the stallion bumps the chair again with his flank, causing it to go skidding out from under the skeleton at a pace that's flatly impossible.

For a few seconds Pinkie's charred bones hang in mid-air before dropping to the floor and exploding in a spray of colorful streamers, balloons, and confetti. The remains are sent bouncing off floor and wall and ceiling, each impact resulting in another burst of garishly colored paper. Finally all the bones land in a neat little pile in a wagon that had been sitting in the corner of the office for some inexplicable reason.

Everypony (and robot) are now sporting conical party hats. It isn't clear where they came from. Should Foxtrot remove his he'll find the Twilight statue under it.

Pinkie's PipBuck rolls to a halt near Scoop's back hoof. The audio message appears to be password protected.

"What was that noise?" PV-4 asks, sounding concerned. "Is everything alright?"

[Chaotic Bob]

Spoiler

Show

[Manehatten - Stable 29]

"Ha!," Corn laughs. "Yer over-thinkin' this. Here, watch. Hey Scratch!"

The foalbot turns her attention to Swiss, her skin-suit bunching up around her neck.

"We came here from the wide and awesome world beyond the stable," the huge pony begins begins.

"But... Friend Computer says-"

Corn waves a dismissive hoof. "Friend Computer thinks yer too much of a foal to handle all the adventure and danger out there in the mysterious and magical Wastelands of Equestria. She's probably right, too."

"W-what?" Vinyl stammers indignantly. "I'm a big filly! And I can take care of myself! Friend Computer doesn't know what she's talking about!"

Corn crosses his legs and gives Vinyl an appraising look. "You sure, kiddo? Gee, I dunno 'bout that. Just a moment ago you were talkin' 'bout askin' Friend Computer's permission like she's yer mama or somethin'..."

Vinyl stomps one of her legs on the floor. "Don't call me kiddo! And I'm plenty big! We'll find your friend and then I'll show you how to sneak out so Friend Computer won't know we left!"

Corn glances over at Down and flashes a loopy grin. "Well ah guess that's settled right and proper, then. Once this game is over we'll find Sour and then skedaddle."

If they could see past her mask, Down is pursing her lips something awful.

That was incredibly manipulative and if this foalbot had been a proper foal...that would have been morally questionable.
As it is, technically he just manipulated a horrible abomination. Probably not as bad.

The pegasus chooses to simply shake her head and taps a hoof on the ground irritably.
"When this backfires, I foresee myself picking up the pieces."

[MCerberus]

Manehatten - Miss Pie's Office

Pip-Buck? What Pip-buck? Oh right, that thing that Scoops currently has tucked away in her pack *shifty eye*. "Well... She seemed to have a final party planned... for what's left of her." That's not at all creepy, and considering the ministry they're in, hopefully no mind-control serum in the hats.

Anyhoof, "PV, how long do we have until the alicorns get to this floor?"

[Lycan 01]

[Manehatten - MoM Hub]

"Don't worry, Miss PV. It's just Miss Pie bein' Miss Pie. We're all fine. And covered in confetti," Sergeant Sprinkles deadpans.

He then hovers over towards the wagon. "Well, not sure 'bout a dirt nap sorta burial, but I can cremate her properly. Then we could then toss the remains out a window, so that she spreads out over the city, carried upon the wind, perhaps bringing some semblance of joy and laughter to this war-marred wasteland wherever her ashes choose to fall."

The robot pauses for a moment after that deep and poignant observation.

"Uh... some bozo thought it'd be funny to download a bunch of poetry into my databanks..." he mutters furtively.

[PurityIcekiller]

[We've Been Trucked!]

"Wha- YAH!" Violetta dove for safety and managed to avoid the blasts as well, but was pelted with sharp bits of rock. "...Ouch."

[Rebonack]

[Manehatten - Stable 29]

Bah!

What's the point of having [Speech] skilled if you can't use it to smooth talk ponies into doing what you want? "That's quite the rain cloud ya got yer head stuck in, Miss Down. Don't you worry none. We've been doin' stuff like this long enough ta know the risks and rewards."

How many killer robots has Down worked with?

Zero?

And what about TRSG!? Probably more than zero.

Vinyl fidgets a bit, glancing over at the armored pegasus uncertainly. Ever since they got to her room that lady in black has been acting extra weird. "Did... did I do something wrong?" she asks of Down. "Are you mad at me?"

[Benson]

Manehatten Ruins-Horseshoe Tower-Ministry of Morale-32th Floor- Pinkie Pie's Office- 11:24 am

Fox Trot


"Waaah....! Jeebus..." Lately, lame sounds have been coming out of my mouth, oy....Anyways, I was naturally startled, my eyes wide in durr the whole time. And then a party hat or something appeared on my head, followed by a small weight on my head. That was weird.

I took off my new hat, which I'll totally keep, it was a little unique if silly on me, but still. I sat down on my haunches and held the figure of a purple unicorn mare between my hooves. She was kinda cute in that bookwormish librarian way. Mmm...hot librarians...I..uh..I mean....bad Fox Trot! Not right now. Cough.

"Yea...she's fine, but I may have to second Sprinkles idea about cremation.."

[Rebonack]

[Manehatten - MoM Hub]

...who the hay is Jeebus?

*cough*

Regardless.

As soon as the statue is in Fox's hooves he'll feel a strange sense of mental clarity. Understanding. Following lines of reasoning. Reaching clever solutions. Everything just becomes so obvious. Heck! He could probably recite the square roots of prime numbers till he's blue in the face right now!

Be Smart!

Surprise Party remains silent for a time before giving a small laugh. "Ah... yeah... that sounds like Pinkie Pie. And I think she would like that. One last chance to spread some smiles..."

And then questions!

"Umm... they're coming up pretty fast. But Pinkie should have a hidden elevator in her office. Y'know. In case of elevator emergencies."

About this time Sven returns!

He just kind of... blinks at the various party decorations strewn around the room. And the hats on everypony. "Do I want to know...?"

[TheAmishPirate]

[It's a truck!]

Fleetwing, being closer to the truck, didn't quite fare so well. His light barding staved off some of the glancing hits, but a few chunks tore straight through, getting lodged in his legs and sides. Not to mention the multitude of painful cuts. "Augh...gahhh...who booby-traps a truck?!" the pegasus whined as he writhed in pain. Healing potions, oh by the sisters, he hoped he had enough healing potions. Unfortunately, even after tearing through both saddlebags, all he could come up with was one, measly potion. And the label was starting to peel off too. Ugh, probably stale, but anything to make the pain stop.

He started to gnaw and twist at the cork. Not only was it old and grody, the darn stopper was stuck.

(I'd say healing potions were one of the things he explained to Violetta)

[Tag: Purity]

[Lycan 01]

[Manehatten - MoM Hub]

"Nope," Sergeant Sprinkles flatly replies to Sven. There is a loud ~fwoosh~ as his flamethrower unleashes a gout of flame onto the wagon carrying Pinkie's bones. The light of the roaring pyre flickers and casts dancing shadows across Sprinkles' battle-scarred and confetti-plastered armor. The robot lowers all but one of his mechanical arms; he the remaining limb to give a salute, which he holds in place as he watches Pinkie Pie, Minster of Morale and Element of Laughter, burn away to ash. "Ya don't."

[Benson]

Manehatten Ruins-Horseshoe Tower-Ministry of Morale-32th Floor- Pinkie Pie's Office- 11:26 am

Fox Trot


I won't lie, that was a very weird and cool feeling that rushed into me. I smiled and looked at the statuette of the purple unicorn librarian. It became clear that I should take this. The Ministry Mare of Morale had a little party favor just for me. I'll take care of this, carry her memory as well. Hmm...memories......I closed my eyes for a moment and sent out a little prayer as off to the side Sprinkles cremated the boney remains.

After that.

I searched for that emergency elevator until I eventually came upon it.

[PurityIcekiller]

[The Trapped Truck]

Violetta seemed to be taking bleeding from all over her body amazingly well. "Who knows? Ponies put traps in the strangest places."

She checked her pack, but it was empty. "Now that's inconvenient. The least... whoever left me with this stuff is... could have done was leave me with supplies too. Augh."

And now here we are, stuck at the bottom of a crevice, in no condition to fight, all because of a petty little trap. Aren't I supposed to be a sorceress or something? I don't think sorceresses typically have to deal with this...

[Chaotic Bob]

"We'll see."
Down continues to not be a master tactician or planner, so perhaps she is missing some part of this that TRSG! isn't...

Which is precisely why she doesn't argue further. Or comment about that rain-cloud bit.

Instead, she turns her head towards Vinylbot and clicks her voice back into a friendlier one.
"I am not mad at you, don't worry.
Just concerned about some friends."

[MCerberus]

Manehatten - Miss Pie's Office

Well... their business... is complete then? Pinkie Pie is cremated, some of the potentially most valuable information possible is secured, and now it's time to get out of here. Whadda will help Fox look for the access elevator, after making sure the terminal didn't have any relevant data accessible.

[TheAmishPirate]

[Trucks and Stuff]

Fleetwing finally managed to get the stopper out, and promptly guzzled down most of their last healing potion. He winced as little chunks of shrapnel popped out of coat and fell to the ground. Ugh, you never got used to that part. He passed the last few sips to Violetta. "Here; I'm no mage, but maybe just a sip'll take the edge off." With delicious, delicious magic flowing through him, he felt almost ready to tackle this thing again. Almost. "Alright, so maybe this ain't gonna be so easy. Maybe if we circle around from the other side, and I try hovering so as not to set off any more of those things?" He scanned the desolate ravine, the echoes of the explosion still ringing in his ears. "I wonder if there is anything out here; critters should've come running with that much noise, but there ain't hardly a peep."

[Lycan 01]

Ravine

Not a peep at all.

Dead silence.

Other than the groan of heat-warped metal and the truck settling in the dirt. A few clinks and tinks can be heard from inside the truck, like bottles rolling around or bumping against things.

[Rebonack]

[Manehatten - Stable 29]

"Oh! Good... I thought you were mad at me! That would be awful to make some new friends and then upset them," the foalbot replies brightly. And then uses her manipulator cables to smooth out her skin-suit. It was getting bunched up again. Sure is a good thing she isn't upsetting them with anything she's doing or wearing.

"Alright then. We just need to find some way to figure out where Sour is," Swiss comments with a nod to the others. "The PipBucks are out. So what options do we have?"

"Well... We knew approximately were she was before the signal got scrambled. We can use that as somewhere to start," Rye reasons. "Once we find her she can teleport everypony straight up without too much trouble to get us all out of here. But getting to her is the problem."

[Manehatten - MoM Hub]

The remains burn until all that's left is a heap of ash sitting in an old wagon. The wagon has seen better days, that's for sure. But scattering it out the window at the point shouldn't be too difficult.

The console displays only the recorded audio file. It seems to be locked there for whatever reason.

Fox notes that given the layout of the room and the disposition Pinkie has displayed thus far when it comes to absurd hidden surprises the most likely location for the elevator would be behind that potted fern.

Should he search there that's exactly where it will be. How in Celestia's name did he figure that out so easily? Be Smart!

"Well, we best be going before those alicorns arrive," the griffon comments, nodding toward the door. "I have the information we were payed to retrieve."

[Lycan 01]

[Manehatten - MoM Hub]

Sprinkles picks up the wagon. He hovers over to the nearest window, smashes it out with his buzz-saw, and then dumps the contents out into the windy skies of Manehatten. "Rest in peace, Miss Pie."

He then chunks the wagon and the remaining ashes out the window, before turning to hover wordlessly over towards the elevator.

[Chaotic Bob]

[Manehatten - Stable 29]

Oh look at that, Down is already looking away from Vinylbot again, in a hurry.
Trying not to be sick.
Or shoot her.

Stare at the ceiling, but participate...
"If she could teleport us out when we find her, why could she not teleport out by herself?"
An interesting question, as she seemed to be alright earlier...

Although there is undoubtedly an explanation.
Probably something silly like "wanting to investigate the stable".

[Benson]

Manehatten Ruins-Horseshoe Tower-Ministry of Morale-32th Floor- Pinkie Pie's Office- 11:27 am

Fox Trot

I felt a little a proud, I couldn't help but smile at my deducting where the elevator was. I stepped inside the hidden elevator and this time tried to maneuver myself so I wasn't getting stabbed by a robot arm.

[Rebonack]

[Manehatten - Stable 29]

"Ah was still in iffy condition 'n Miss Sour wanted ta know what those mantacores were up to. No way they coulda taken her unless she let 'em," Corn drawls. "Probably been hoofin' it 'round tryin' ta take stock of the sitcheation here. Decidin' what needs ta be done."

Yep.

Something silly like wanting to investigate the Stable.

Cut them some slack! They're part time scavengers and full time do-gooders. And this Stable is totally a great chance to do both!

Then comes a voice over the speaker!

"Oli oli oxenfree, my little ponies. If you have not been found then you win! There will be victory cake served in the arboretum."

[MCerberus]

Manehatten - Miss Pie's Office

Scoops, still carrying the important cargo in her saddlebags, heads over to the elevator. This whole thing was weird, but ends on a positive note. Some of the embers of the old world were saved from destruction or misuse... plus this pretty much means she's getting rewarded too. Unfortunately, there's still Alicorns.

Time to leave.

[Rebonack]

[Manehatten - MoM Hub]

And so Pinkie Pie is scattered, dust on the wind. Ashes carried by a gentle breeze. And if one listens carefully they might be able to pick out the faintest sound of a giggle that drives away fear.

"Good bye, Pinkie. Your parties always were the best..." comes the forlorn voice of PV-4. As our heroes board the elevator the not-AI begins to muse. "You know. I don't think Pinkie would want us to be all sad on her behalf. She would want to be remembered joyously. I just wished those alicorns hadn't trashed the party rooms down on the first floor..."

That really IS too bad...

Eventually the elevator reaches the ground floor revealing walls blown out, turrets obliterated, and tiles covered in lightning burn marks. Like PV said, they really thrashed the place.

"Mister Sprinkles? There isn't much we can do here at the Ministry of Morale anymore to keep ponies happy and safe. Without Pinkie this building is nothing but an empty shell slowly crumbling to dust. So I want you to continue your mission on the outside. To go with these ponies to spread smiles and safety and good cheer wherever you go. Consider these my final orders for you."

[Lycan 01]

[Manehatten - MoM Hub]

Sprinkles hovers in silence for a long moment. "But... what about you, Miss PV?" he eventually asks, his mechanical voice tinged with trepidation and concern.

[MCerberus]

Manehatten - Leaving Morale Behind

There is one thing about this situation that has been bugging Scoops. Surprise has been kind of fatal and depressed, and now there's nothing for her to do. "Surprise, if we could get you out of stasis... I mean the wasteland needs everypony that has any knowledge of the pre-war world. You'd be able to stretch your hoofs and everything."

[Chaotic Bob]

[Manehatten - Stable 29]

Actually, that brings up a point that Down had forgotten about.
"The manticores...are they like the others too?"
Robots? Or did the robots somehow persuade the nasty monsters into helping them?

And then the intercom goes off!
"Well, there we are. Time for the next step of this glorious rescue mission."
Was that a touch of sarcasm, or actual humor?
Probably the former, since the pegasus has seemed a little twitchy in these past few minutes.
"Is there another way out?"

A conundrum! If there's only the slide, the more ground-bound of their group may have issues getting out, without Swiss and Down helping them.

[TheAmishPirate]

Ravine

Not a peep at all.

Dead silence.

Other than the groan of heat-warped metal and the truck settling in the dirt. A few clinks and tinks can be heard from inside the truck, like bottles rolling around or bumping against things.

Creepy. Seemed like wherever you went in the Wasteland, there was always something out to get you. Fleetwing almost wished he could hear something skittering towards them. At least then he'd know for sure he was about to get eaten; getting left in the dark about that sort of thing tends to be disconcerting.

After digging out a few last bits of shrapnel, the pegasus forced himself into a low hover, his poor wings crying out in protest just as soon as he left the ground. "Nghh, alright; try number two, let's not get blown up this time." He led Violetta along towards the front end of the truck, keeping his eyes to the ground for any more booby traps.

[Tag: Purity]

[Benson]

Manehatten Ruins-Horseshoe Tower-Ministry of Morale-Elevator- 11:30 am

Fox Trot

"Exactly Miss Surprise Party....what will happen to you?" There was just a sadness being all left alone in this death trap. I couldn't be able to take the solitude and haunting memories, I'd crack easily.