LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax

[Lentrax]

Thank you. They found what is probably a benign tumor on my cat's left front paw. Luckily it's dry and doesn't appear to hurt (he bit me when I examined it, but not in a way to suggest pain). You all know how much my cat means to me - I've talked enough about him over my time here. But like I said, it's probably nothing.

Oh noes! Hopefully it is benign and nothing bad happens.

[noparlpf]

In retrospect, yeah, it's just the mixture of misogyny and transphobia directly, and as such, transmen wouldn't really experience it in the same way or at all depending upon the people.

Remember, to misogynists, wanting to be female and "giving up being male" is worse than "a woman wanting to be a man" because of the hierarchy of value that misogyny is predicated upon.

But you can't just make a portmanteau of any two words and retain the meaning the meant it to have.

Honestly, I figured that it must be a vastly different school system than any of the ones in the U.S. I've encountered to have a 12th grade gym class, and so my own experiences of what grades people take gym wouldn't apply, because in all the states I've lived in, you're required to take it as as an underclassman.

There were a few seniors in gym classes in my high school. Either because they were taking it for fun/to keep in shape, or because they had failed it every year previously.

It's the specific intersection between transphobia and misogyny. It comes down to, basically there's two forms of sexism. There's oppositional sexism; which is the one that is all "act like your assigned gender, stay in your box" and where a decent amount of transphobia comes from. Then there's the traditional form of sexism that states that 'maleness' is better than 'femaleness' (this does not mean that men don't suffer from the restrictiveness of gender roles and stereotypes). So, while someone transmasculine is 'breaking the roles' cause they're doing something they shouldn't cause of their assigned gender, they are moving to a 'better position' cause male is 'better' than female. So it at least 'makes sense'. But for transfeminine people it's the whole "why would a 'man' degrade themselves by wanting to be a woman?'. And that adds in a whole extra ton of bigotry.

Natalie wrote a good article about it.

Oh, that stuff again. I keep forgetting I shouldn't expect people to make sense.

I saw that. I'm not even properly able to get angry about it, I just feel kind of sick and scared. I want to say "The worst part is ... !" but I can't figure out which bit is the worst part, so I'll just say apparently the school authorities are taking it as an isolated incident, even though there have been plenty of sexual assaults on campus.

Yeah, they didn't even tell anybody outside of that dorm until people started finding out in the news.

I'm having a really hard time at the moment. I'm still in limbo, I don't know if/when I can start my Masters, I have no apartment, no therapist, I'm in medical-expenses limbo. I'm so stressed I'm getting near-constant stomach pains, and I've been having terrible thoughts. I'm going to need a holiday to recover from all of this not-working! >,<

:< Stress sucks and not knowing what's happening also sucks. Hope things work out soon. Could you take a holiday in the meantime?

This seems fairly indicative of the attitude towards allies. I hate it.

Well at least the tumblr URL is honest...

...Is it bad that my first thought when I saw the recipe wasn't "That's terrible!" but rather "Baseless pride...charcoal...well, at least those cookies won't be too acidic"?

Hehe. Not bad.

Re: Miami University. 27 rapes over a three year period. That's nine a year, in a school with 16,000 students. Doing some lazy math, that's one per eight thousand girls. At some point, you realize that you're never going to wipe out violent crime completely, and that all you're doing is wasting resources while causing outrage fatigue to set in.

My bigger worry is that the focus on what's the taste equivalent of a dead baby joke will distract from decent partner etiquette. There are plenty of ways to be a ****ty partner without violently assaulting anybody else. Some branching out could help instead of trying to fit as many things as possible under the rape umbrella.

That number is way, way too low, because so few rapes are actually reported, and victim-blaming shuts down many more. And giving up and letting it slide is not a solution. That would just make things worse. They have to crack down further (or rather at all, as quite a few administrations are pretty lax).

I'd really like it if there were no doctors, who lack an empathetic attitude and trivialize instead of understand gender issues, treating transsexual people.

I don't feel like being categorized separetely and cast aside from what my gynecologist calls 'women', obviously not referring to me. Nor do I feel like being the target of assumptions that my female health needs and my desire for motherhood are somehow less valid than other women's.

It's painful for my ears to listen to them talk about chromosomes and biological sexes, only to undermine my identity and prospects for wishes associated with a female life, when they really don't even know a whole lot about what chromosomes and biological sex keep within themselves.

Sorry to hear that you have to deal with that kind of crap.

Edit:

Thank you. They found what is probably a benign tumor on my cat's left front paw. Luckily it's dry and doesn't appear to hurt (he bit me when I examined it, but not in a way to suggest pain). You all know how much my cat means to me - I've talked enough about him over my time here. But like I said, it's probably nothing.

Ah geez. Hope things turn out okay.

[Astrella]

Thank you. They found what is probably a benign tumor on my cat's left front paw. Luckily it's dry and doesn't appear to hurt (he bit me when I examined it, but not in a way to suggest pain). You all know how much my cat means to me - I've talked enough about him over my time here. But like I said, it's probably nothing.

Oh no. I hope he's okay!

But you can't just make a portmanteau of any two words and retain the meaning the meant it to have.

It specifically refers to the unique kind of bigotry you get due to the intersection of misogyny and transphobia. (Also, grrr, transphobia is a word, Chrome!)

[noparlpf]

It specifically refers to the unique kind of bigotry you get due to the intersection of misogyny and transphobia. (Also, grrr, transphobia is a word, Chrome!)

Yeah, that's clear now, but it took a little figuring out.
(Don't worry, Firefox also misses all kinds of words. It's a constant battle.)

[Lady Serpentine]

It specifically refers to the unique kind of bigotry you get due to the intersection of misogyny and transphobia. (Also, grrr, transphobia is a word, Chrome!)

Don't bother getting mad at it, Lena (that is you, right? ). This is the same browser that recognizes 'telepathy' but not 'telepath', and 'cannibalistic' but not 'animalistic'.

[Lentrax]

There were a few seniors in gym classes in my high school. Either because they were taking it for fun/to keep in shape, or because they had failed it every year previously.

Yeah, I was one of those, I ended up taking a weight-lifting course my senior year, just so I could graduate. Silly people, I am a nerd, we aren't supposed to be physically fit. We can only run on the adrenaline rush from being chased down by wedgie-giving jocks.

[Selpharia]

There were a few seniors in gym classes in my high school. Either because they were taking it for fun/to keep in shape, or because they had failed it every year previously.

Gym was mandatory for all four years at my high school. You could get out of some of it with lab classes for the sciences, but everyone had to take it.

Hope things get better for you, Kender. I know limbo like that sucks (I spent a while in a similar spot) What helped me was finding something (like a ling but not too difficult project) I liked to do and treating doing that as progress, which was nice when nothing else felt like it was going forward. Helped to keep my mind off of everything else and not stewing in my own juices

The thing about reading Natalie's articles is that I get into a kind of wiki-hopping problem. Which is a problem when the individual articles are as lengthy as hers.

I hope your kitty is OK, Asta. As one of the two animal types I can stand, cats hold a special place in my heart.

~Laura

[Lycunadari]

I guess my partner liked it enough to put a ring on it.

I type this from the strange state of being that is being married.

Late congratulations to you!

I'm having a really hard time at the moment. I'm still in limbo, I don't know if/when I can start my Masters, I have no apartment, no therapist, I'm in medical-expenses limbo. I'm so stressed I'm getting near-constant stomach pains, and I've been having terrible thoughts. I'm going to need a holiday to recover from all of this not-working! >,<

*hugs* I hope it will get better soon!

Eep!

Please do not destroy us! We-uhm, wait. I am a Kobold...


But please do not destroy humans anyway! >_<

Why do I have the feeling that a lot of people here lied when they answered that registration question about being human?

Thank you. They found what is probably a benign tumor on my cat's left front paw. Luckily it's dry and doesn't appear to hurt (he bit me when I examined it, but not in a way to suggest pain). You all know how much my cat means to me - I've talked enough about him over my time here. But like I said, it's probably nothing.

*hugs to your cat and you* Hopefully he will be alright!

[Asta Kask]

Oh noes! Hopefully it is benign and nothing bad happens.

Edit:

Ah geez. Hope things turn out okay.

Oh no. I hope he's okay!

I hope your kitty is OK, Asta. As one of the two animal types I can stand, cats hold a special place in my heart.

~Laura

*hugs to your cat and you* Hopefully he will be alright!

He moves normally and he climbs normally so there's no pain. Mum, who had a short stint as a dermatologist, thought it was a cutaenous horn. He only bit me to remind me of the proper power relationships around here...

Given that it grows very slowly, I have no doubt he will have the time to die of something else - he is 13-ish after all.

On a side note, I wonder how many stories of demon possession stemmed from cutaneous horns. Imagine living in a medieval city and suddenly get a horn-like growth on your face...

[noparlpf]

He moves normally and he climbs normally so there's no pain. Mum, who had a short stint as a dermatologist, thought it was a cutaenous horn. He only bit me to remind me of the proper power relationships around here...

Given that it grows very slowly, I have no doubt he will have the time to die of something else - he is 13-ish after all.

On a side note, I wonder how many stories of demon possession stemmed from cutaneous horns. Imagine living in a medieval city and suddenly get a horn-like growth on your face...

Weird.
Depending on the culture and time period, I might be more worried about checking up on my mate's sexual practices.

[Triscuitable]

It specifically refers to the unique kind of bigotry you get due to the intersection of misogyny and transphobia. (Also, grrr, transphobia is a word, Chrome!)

It's sadly not officially recognized as a word in the English language. It's merely been introduced by the same logic behind the (word-word) homophobia.

[Coidzor]

But you can't just make a portmanteau of any two words and retain the meaning the meant it to have.

I don't make up the neologisms and harness enough belief to make them into proto-words and eventually words, I just have hazy recollections of being bludgeoned by a Natalie Reed blog post.

There were a few seniors in gym classes in my high school. Either because they were taking it for fun/to keep in shape, or because they had failed it every year previously.

Same here, though I don't think anyone did it save for transfers and those who had otherwise slipped through the cracks due to things like JROTC. Never were enough to make up an entire class, though classes were in the 30-50 range depending upon how the hours broke down, they were large enough that they actually broke them further down into two sub-classes each with one of the coaches, though they'd come back together for certain games/square dancing.

Due to the city we're in, they actually managed to get some pretty good square dance people to come in for that for a good while, though I think that era had passed before I went through.

[noparlpf]

Same here, though I don't think anyone did it save for transfers and those who had otherwise slipped through the cracks due to things like JROTC. Never were enough to make up an entire class, though classes were in the 30-50 range depending upon how the hours broke down, they were large enough that they actually broke them further down into two sub-classes each with one of the coaches, though they'd come back together for certain games/square dancing.

Due to the city we're in, they actually managed to get some pretty good square dance people to come in for that for a good while, though I think that era had passed before I went through.

My high school required two semesters, and just dumped upperclassmen in the same gym classes as the freshmen, and we were put in classes of about 20-30 students. I ended up taking it in tenth grade because I transferred schools.

[Lentrax]

He moves normally and he climbs normally so there's no pain. Mum, who had a short stint as a dermatologist, thought it was a cutaenous horn. He only bit me to remind me of the proper power relationships around here...

Given that it grows very slowly, I have no doubt he will have the time to die of something else - he is 13-ish after all.

On a side note, I wonder how many stories of demon possession stemmed from cutaneous horns. Imagine living in a medieval city and suddenly get a horn-like growth on your face...

You would probably get burned at the stake after the local church was unable to 'cleanse' you of your possession.

Though I'd give them a time of it, goring folks with my unicornish face.

[KenderWizard]

This seems fairly indicative of the attitude towards allies. I hate it.

What. Jeez, some people need a right slap.

*Hugs*

I hope you will soon get to start your Masters, that all sounds very very stressful. Hopefully it will be much less stressing once you begin.

Oh dear. *hugs* Don't explode - exploded kender are nowhere near as nice as living ones. Err... I usually listen to music to calm me down. Check out Alice Cooper.

Sorry to hear about that. Stress is hard to manage, especially when so much other stuff is happening around and to you. But we're all here for you, and I know you'll get that Masters!

Aww.

Be sure to take enough time to relax! And I hope everything sorts out really fast. *offers all of the hugs and sympathies*

:< Stress sucks and not knowing what's happening also sucks. Hope things work out soon. Could you take a holiday in the meantime?

Hope things get better for you, Kender. I know limbo like that sucks (I spent a while in a similar spot) What helped me was finding something (like a ling but not too difficult project) I liked to do and treating doing that as progress, which was nice when nothing else felt like it was going forward. Helped to keep my mind off of everything else and not stewing in my own juices

*hugs* I hope it will get better soon!

Ye are all amazing! Hopefully things will work out soon. I am working on a few little projects, mostly drawing, which I've started to get back into. I even did some life-drawing. Well, sketching people from photos, but that counts as life-drawing. It's hard to take a holiday or relax, cause even though I'm not doing anything, I don't know when I'll hear, so I need to keep checking my email and keeping in touch with my supervisor and stuff, so I can't really just stop thinking about it, you know? Still, hopefully it'll come right soon.

[Reluctance]

Wait, are you actually seriously suggesting that because of a few angry douchebags, we should stop fighting for LGBT rights? That they get to ruin it for the rest of us? Because that's almost as uncool as their attitude.

{scrubbed}

That number is way, way too low, because so few rapes are actually reported, and victim-blaming shuts down many more. And giving up and letting it slide is not a solution. That would just make things worse. They have to crack down further (or rather at all, as quite a few administrations are pretty lax).

{scrubbed}

[Lord Raziere]

No Reluctance you don't understand. Its because those people exist that such rights have to be fought for! Its to prove those idiots wrong, to change peoples perceptions despite those idiots! Staying silent and not fighting accomplishes nothing, it only produces apathy, lethargy, inaction. This train ain't stopping just because a few jerks are standing in the way. Rather, its because of those jerks that the train should be sped up, should go faster, stronger, louder towards it destination.

this exploitation of such terms is exactly what one should be calling out against, exactly should be fought against, and exactly the kind of ignorance and stupidity that should be dispelled. hiding and hoping it will all die down will accomplish nothing, and people will continue to use it for shock value.

It is only when through great, repeated concerted effort that such terms become familiar and lose such shock value, and thus depower the troll.

[Astrella]

Zinia Jones wrote a post about her name and I know it's only tangentially related but I think or at least hope it would make some people here smile in the same way as it did me.

[Socratov]

First things first: Asta, good luck with your kitty, I hope it's nothing serious so you and your kitty can have many more good times.

KenderWizard, I hope you be able to get started but in the meantime have a few care- and stressfree days to calm down

@dead baby jokes: different people have different senses of humor. Some people's definition of humor are broader then others'. Personally, I think dead baby jokes are disgusting and I can't seem to find the fun in it. However, I dont think that liking a dead baby joke makes a person more likely to be a rapist or murderer. Publishing a pamphlet (I guess i can call it that way) on dodging a rape conviction makes you a suspect at the very least. On the rape math, I'd like to see a calculation since I seem to be missing the origin of a few numbers. On the eradication of rape and inability to completely abolish a certain crime, it's true, but that doesn't mean you can just declare a tolerance number. the fact remains that rape is very bad (Mkay) and should not exist. And unless there is absolutely no rape, there's still work to do.

[ScionoftheVoid]

I'm fairly sure the background to that lgbtlaughs post was that the person running the blog got a huge amount of complaints after posting some humorous stuff about ridiculous things that some supposed allies had actually said (up to and including questions about why there wasn't more content for allies, or if they knew of any support spaces for allies...). I can understand the aggression there, and while it could be clearer that they're talking about the kind of ally that still uses "gay" as a pejorative that's apparently the kind they're most used to.

Anyway, congratulations on the wedding, SaintRidley, I hope your cat is okay, Asta, I hope everything turns out all right for you, Astrella, and generally just wish everyone well (apologies to anyone I've forgotten).

[SiuiS]

Stars above, I needed that checked article. Thanks.

I'd really like it if there were no doctors, who lack an empathetic attitude and trivialize instead of understand gender issues, treating transsexual people.

I don't feel like being categorized separetely and cast aside from what my gynecologist calls 'women', obviously not referring to me. Nor do I feel like being the target of assumptions that my female health needs and my desire for motherhood are somehow less valid than other women's.

It's painful for my ears to listen to them talk about chromosomes and biological sexes, only to undermine my identity and prospects for wishes associated with a female life, when they really don't even know a whole lot about what chromosomes and biological sex keep within themselves.

I'm fully with you, there. It's weird to think of a doctor's assumptions and attitude really making a difference. Medicine is a cold, sterile science, an equation applied by human variables to achieve a result. And then you're on the wrong end, and now I can't perform my job because a doctor thought I was a violent assault offender and didn't bother to correctly set a bone. All it took was a split second judgement on his part, shoddy advice on follow up care, and now my AS is functionally a $25k waste of several years' time.

Because the only way to get a boxer's break is to be a gangbanger and wifebeater, everyone knows that.

That's... Not the right way to go about it at all. Don't they understand? We're all of us a representative of our group. If one of us is mean or hurtful for no reason, then those who encounter them are going to think that's how we all react.

Especially when they're trying to help!

Even though Reluctance seems to have contradicted this himself, I'm going to step up and say; maybe he meant instead of dot support LGBTA folk, don't support the ones that bite the hand that feeds them? There's a difference between charity and being a chump. I've helped homeless folks, bought them food, rented a room so the bloke could shower and shave, have one my bike. He got a job, last I saw he was doing the same, helping his fellow transients. I've also had a homeless guy ask for money for gas, and refuse to let me buy him gas because he just wanted my money.

These people are like the second guy. They don't want help. They probably don't even care that they are [minority] at all. They want to trick you into funding them and call you names the whole time. If its not "oh I'm gay, nobody likes me" it's something else. A lot of people use activism as a way of belonging, and drag it off the rails of righting wrongs. They're psychic vampires. And yes, the beat way to deal with such a mental drain is to dislodge their proboscis, unhook their chitinous legs, and maybe set off a bug bomb while you're out shopping.

Unfortunately, this diminishes the amount of energy you put Ito that particular charity, but it means you should have that many more resources saved when you finally feel you will make progress.

In other news, I've been getting a really weird (not unpleasant, just weird) feeling lately. It's like I'm a old photograph that's been double-exposed, and one of the images is my surrent male body, and the other is a potential, to-be female body. It crops up every now and then for a few moments. I'm always surprised, but excited to feel it come, and sad to see it go.

Anyone else ever get anything like that? I'm curious.

~Phoenix~

Yes! It wa my big step from 'maybe gender queer' to 'definitely trans woman'. That body awareness of a body you don't currently have is nice. It leaving is my biggest source of dysphoria. I am lucky to already have a nice womanly body, thankfully. Just need to work on softness and curves~

Thank you. They found what is probably a benign tumor on my cat's left front paw. Luckily it's dry and doesn't appear to hurt (he bit me when I examined it, but not in a way to suggest pain). You all know how much my cat means to me - I've talked enough about him over my time here. But like I said, it's probably nothing.

Good luck friend. Let us know what's up, yeah? I'm worded about your kitty too, now.

Yeah, I was one of those, I ended up taking a weight-lifting course my senior year, just so I could graduate. Silly people, I am a nerd, we aren't supposed to be physically fit. We can only run on the adrenaline rush from being chased down by wedgie-giving jocks.

They took away archery due to cuts, so my second year of PE was fitness walking. I got an entire class period to do what I did on my breaks - walk around and talk to myself. Or my friend, who was also present.

Why do I have the feeling that a lot of people here lied when they answered that registration question about being human?

We knew what the Giant meant, so it's cool he wasn't just asking if we were sentient, free willed organic creatures. I view it in the same light as say, a dwarf having a since of humanity. Inhumane has connotations.

Also, love your new look~!

Second, you don't understand troll psychology at all. Campus-wide meetings and increased police presence because someone photocopied a tasteless joke? The student responsible should absolutely be found and disciplined,and campus cops should be made aware, but this much hubub is just rewarding whoever did this. Again, shock humor for reactions.

(If you want to talk about the statistics part, PM me. As much as bad math irks me, I'd rather not derail this thread for another page or so. Kender and Asta's cat need attention more right now.)

There's a big difference between a tasteless joke and what borders on a crime - and I'm not even certain 'border' is the right of it. "How to commit a felony" is pretty clearly premeditation, whether the person meant it in jest or no. As such, the measures seem appropriate. I am all for ruthless punishment of people who think its all fun and games, if only to make that culture die.

Zinia Jones wrote a post about her name and I know it's only tangentially related but I think or at least hope it would make some people here smile in the same way as it did me.

will read when it loads. Thanks.

[Asta Kask]

@dead baby jokes: different people have different senses of humor. Some people's definition of humor are broader then others'. Personally, I think dead baby jokes are disgusting and I can't seem to find the fun in it. However, I dont think that liking a dead baby joke makes a person more likely to be a rapist or murderer.

I make rape jokes from time to time. It's a coping mechanism, showing that you still have the energy to laugh. But. I wouldn't do it in a public setting where there are people who may have rape as a trigger. I do it in secluded company where I'm reasonably sure people will be able to take it as a joke.

[SiuiS]

I make rape jokes from time to time. It's a coping mechanism, showing that you still have the energy to laugh. But. I wouldn't do it in a public setting where there are people who may have rape as a trigger. I do it in secluded company where I'm reasonably sure people will be able to take it as a joke.

I'm going to say I honestly don't know what a rape joke is. I know what a dead baby joke is, I just never understood the humor involved. I guess I was young enough hen I first heard it, since all I can think I is a mass of generic grey baby dolls. They've got pallid ghoulish skin, stark white diapers, a single curly hair, a mass of uniformity and were never alive to begin with...



So. I went through that 6 life affirming moments or whatnot article, and at the bottom was a link to5 ways men are trained to hate women. Or be misogynists. Or something. Except my first clue to it being biased should have been use of "we" instead of "men" in the title. Although maybe I'm imagining that part. Closed the tab a while ago.

Anyway! This came up.

#3. We Think You're Conspiring With Our Boners to Ruin Us


... aka, Why Do You Think the Garden of Eden Story Has a Snake?
First, you need to understand something about the unique love/hate relationship men have with their penises.
Do you remember that story about police having to free a guy who got his **** stuck while humping a pool filter? Or that other guy who got stuck humping a park bench, or the other guy who got stuck humping a picnic table? Or that judge who got caught jerking off while on the bench listening to testimony?

You see this type of story come up a lot -- check your local police blotter. And they all have something in common: They're all guys.
Seriously, do a Google search for "masturbating in public library." Notice something in common with all of those stories? They're all dudes. Obviously I'm not saying women don't pleasure themselves (every single study would prove me a liar); I'm saying that men are far, far more likely to engage in extremely high-risk masturbation in public. They're more likely to do it at work, and they're more likely to do it in situations where they could go to jail.
No, it's not some rare, weird exhibitionist fetish, either. It's that they can't even wait the couple of hours it'd take to do it safely at home.
It makes absolutely no sense. All calculation of risk goes out the window. Why?
It's because, in males more so than females, the sex drive is completely detached from the rest of the personality. The part of the male brain that worries about job security or money or social reputation or legal consequences has almost no veto power over the sex drive. You've heard guys say they were "thinking with their ****" or "I was thinking with the little brain" or "I took an order from Captain Bonerhelmet." That's what they're referring to.
Science doesn't seem to totally understand why the "base urges" part of the brain reacts differently in men. Maybe it's just a matter of having 10 times as much testosterone in their system, or maybe society has trained us to be like this, or maybe we're all spoiled children. My theory is that evolution needs males who will stay horny even in times of crisis or distress, and thus cuts off the brain's ability to tamp down those urges. Whatever -- nailing down the cause isn't the point. The point is that a man can be giving the eulogy at his own grandmother's funeral, and if there is a girl in the front row showing cleavage, he will be imagining himself pressing those boobs in his face, with his own dead grandmother not five feet away.

Is this for real? There are men here, so I'll ask. Is it honestly hard to avoid acting inappropriately in public? I had an instance like that once. I was 13, I thought about saying something inappropriate, realized people wouldn't react well, and chastised myself for almost losing my cool. I am supposed to be biologically male, I guess, so I must fall under the sample group for 'male brain development' right?

Except maybe not. Maybe my not being ruled by my 'little brain' () is a sign of being less 'male' than otherwise?

I'm now interested in looking at any science behind brain difference between men an women, including transwomen and cismen. I am unfortunately on a phone, and my monitor is kaput. And I need to wake up in 2 hours so should probably get to sleep... And honestly, I get more out of dialogue than reading articles and such. So does anyone here have information on said topic?

[PairO'Dice Lost]

Is this for real? There are men here, so I'll ask. Is it honestly hard to avoid acting inappropriately in public?

I'm sure it's true for some men that their sex drive controls them rather than the reverse and they can't help but do and say inappropriate things in public, but I'm not one of them and I haven't met any myself. The closest to that I've seen was one friend of mine in college who loved to make innuendo-laden comments about what he was doing with his girlfriend that weekend, but (A) that was less crude humor and more friendly ribbing along the lines of "I'm the only one of the 12 of us nerds who managed to get a girlfriend!" and (B) he only said that stuff when he was hanging around with us, never in public. Then again, I'm probably not a representative sample given that I've mostly gone to smaller, nerdier schools and didn't really have many friends of the sort that would stereotypically do that sort of thing; yay shy introverts!

I would guess, though, that this particular thread would give you a skewed sample regarding sexual behavior or crude humor in public in any case. A straight guy surrounded by straight guys is probably going to be more comfortable saying something like "Dude, check out the [insert derogatory slang for breasts] on that [insert derogatory slang for woman]!" or getting drunk and doing something stupid or whatever (though obviously masturbating in public would be an outlier even then) because he's just fooling around with the guys and boys will be boys and all that.

Meanwhile, in most circumstances a gay guy/male-leaning bi guy/transwoman/etc. wouldn't get a good reception for saying "Dude, check out the ass on that guy!", wouldn't want his buddies to find out he has a copy of Playgirl instead of Playboy under his mattress, etc. Even once they're adults and in a (theoretically) less homophobic environment than high school or college, after spending so many years watching their behavior to avoid giving anything away (if they were in the closet most of their life) or at least thinking about how other people would take their comments and such (if they were mostly out in a not-so-nice area) I'd guess that most of them would avoid doing stupid stuff like that in public outside of gay bars or Pride or whatever.

Take that with a grain of salt, not a registered sociologist, etc.

[Socratov]

well, to be honest, I think it's slightly hyperbolic. I mean I'm not a total slave to my libido, however, if I see a hot girl in front of me showing cleavage, my concentration might be somewhat harder to maintain, if only in thought. This is especially the reason why I love the fact that people can't do telepathy, I wouldn't be able to be anywhere.

though I think most sexually interested people get struck with such an effect when seeing someone or images considered eyecandy The better the eye-candy, the stronger the effects.

also, I'd like to leave this here: slightly sarcastic, but nonetheless also slightly true song

also applicable, though in a slightly lesser degree: this (and the next)

the most common effect iswhen a couple of guys are talking, unpon seeing a hot girl completely stopping the conversation and upon losing line of sight of said hot girl continuing like nothing happened.

[Asta Kask]

I'm going to say I honestly don't know what a rape joke is. I know what a dead baby joke is, I just never understood the humor involved. I guess I was young enough hen I first heard it, since all I can think I is a mass of generic grey baby dolls. They've got pallid ghoulish skin, stark white diapers, a single curly hair, a mass of uniformity and were never alive to begin with...

I can PM you one. Although that would probably violate forum rules, so never mind. Google it. Bear in mind, they're not particularly funny.

Is this for real? There are men here, so I'll ask. Is it honestly hard to avoid acting inappropriately in public? I had an instance like that once. I was 13, I thought about saying something inappropriate, realized people wouldn't react well, and chastised myself for almost losing my cool. I am supposed to be biologically male, I guess, so I must fall under the sample group for 'male brain development' right?

Female genitalia are mostly internal, so them rubbing away wouldn't eh... stand out out as much. But I've never been tempted to masturbate publicly. Or have sex publicly, for that matter. I just don't see what it would add to the experience.

[AuroraF]

I'm fully with you, there. It's weird to think of a doctor's assumptions and attitude really making a difference. Medicine is a cold, sterile science, an equation applied by human variables to achieve a result. And then you're on the wrong end, and now I can't perform my job because a doctor thought I was a violent assault offender and didn't bother to correctly set a bone. All it took was a split second judgement on his part, shoddy advice on follow up care, and now my AS is functionally a $25k waste of several years' time.

Because the only way to get a boxer's break is to be a gangbanger and wifebeater, everyone knows that.

What about the doctor, any consequences for him? Have you talked to him?

[Asta Kask]

CNN anchor throws American Family Association spokesman off show

Yes!

[SiuiS]

I'm sure it's true for some men that their sex drive controls them rather than the reverse and they can't help but do and say inappropriate things in public, but I'm not one of them and I haven't met any myself. The closest to that I've seen was one friend of mine in college who loved to make innuendo-laden comments about what he was doing with his girlfriend that weekend, but (A) that was less crude humor and more friendly ribbing along the lines of "I'm the only one of the 12 of us nerds who managed to get a girlfriend!" and (B) he only said that stuff when he was hanging around with us, never in public. Then again, I'm probably not a representative sample given that I've mostly gone to smaller, nerdier schools and didn't really have many friends of the sort that would stereotypically do that sort of thing; yay shy introverts!

I would guess, though, that this particular thread would give you a skewed sample regarding sexual behavior or crude humor in public in any case. A straight guy surrounded by straight guys is probably going to be more comfortable saying something like "Dude, check out the [insert derogatory slang for breasts] on that [insert derogatory slang for woman]!" or getting drunk and doing something stupid or whatever (though obviously masturbating in public would be an outlier even then) because he's just fooling around with the guys and boys will be boys and all that.

Meanwhile, in most circumstances a gay guy/male-leaning bi guy/transwoman/etc. wouldn't get a good reception for saying "Dude, check out the ass on that guy!", wouldn't want his buddies to find out he has a copy of Playgirl instead of Playboy under his mattress, etc. Even once they're adults and in a (theoretically) less homophobic environment than high school or college, after spending so many years watching their behavior to avoid giving anything away (if they were in the closet most of their life) or at least thinking about how other people would take their comments and such (if they were mostly out in a not-so-nice area) I'd guess that most of them would avoid doing stupid stuff like that in public outside of gay bars or Pride or whatever.

Take that with a grain of salt, not a registered sociologist, etc.

No, I don't mean willfully choosing to indulge in
Baseness. I mean the implication that for some men restraint is a
Physical impossibility - that there are wires that do not connect, and that sex will override other more 'important' processes. That saying "I couldn't help myself" is an honest to Luna excuse. It boggles me to think they are stating there is a medical reason for being crude... And that most men have it.

What about the doctor, any consequences for him? Have you talked to him?

not at all. He technically didn't do anything wrong. The bare minimum of care was delivered, he had a legitimate reason to deny the splinting I requested, and told me to see an orthopedic surgeon. If I "misheard" and thought he meant after two weeks and not before, that's on me. And who would have thought I'd be one of the rare cases of a boxer's break that wouldn't heal properly?

I'm very bitter about it. I explained I work with my hands, I need them more or less symmetrical, I'd like him to set the bone, and I woul prefer the X-rays come in and get looked at before they begin splinting. But none of that is necessary, and none of my requests had to be honored.

[Socratov]

[QUOTE=SiuiS;14063984]No, I don't mean willfully choosing to indulge in
Baseness. I mean the implication that for some men restraint is a
Physical impossibility - that there are wires that do not connect, and that sex will override other more 'important' processes. That saying "I couldn't help myself" is an honest to Luna excuse. It boggles me to think they are stating there is a medical reason for being crude... And that most men have it.



snipQUOTE]

while a man's libido (as far as I know and generally speaking) is a bit more uncontrolled then a woman's, I think a hard override is not present. I think a lot of those things happen because of peer pressure, inebriation, or, in the case of the judge, boredom and/or addiction (to wanking that is). I also think that the excuse "I couldn't help myself" would indicate a huge problem, beyond the testosteronebased programming.

On another note, maybe you haven't, but I have heard gay men utter phrases like "check the cheeks on that one" and similar inuendoes on multiple occasions, outside of a gaybar or pride (have never been to either one of them except when the gaybar was leased for a private gala for my student's sportsclub, at which point it was just a well dressed room to walk around in white tie). Just like not all men use innuendoes while a woman walks by (with or without derogatory terms)