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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Daemon

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    The Netherlands
    Gender
    Male

    Default Homebrew Monsters - Critique Needed

    Bulster
    Medium Fey (Once Demon)
    Hit Dice: 7d6+10 (34 hp)
    Initiative: +2
    Speed: 45 ft. (9 squares)
    Armor Class: 14 (+1 Dex, +3 natural), touch 11, flat-footed 13
    Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+3
    Attack: Head butt +3 Melee (1d6+2)
    Full Attack: Head butt +3 Melee (1d6+2)
    Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
    Special Attacks:
    Special Qualities:
    Saves:
    Abilities:
    Skills:
    Feats:
    Environment: Cold Forests
    Organization: Band (3-5)
    Challenge Rating:
    Treasure: Standard
    Alignment: Usually Chaotic Neutral
    Advancement: By Character Class (Usually Rogue)
    Level Adjustment: ---
    A bulster's fur ranges from Dark-Brown to White. The horns and hooves are tan-coloured. A bulster is about as tall and heavy as an elf.
    Bulsters mostly speak common due to their enslavement in the past, and rarely Abyssal, their original language.

    The Bulsters were once Demon scouts of the Abyssal god Donjames. They roamed the realm in bands. They were a Lawful Evil race, with literally no exceptions. When their patron god was defeated, the bulsters (Save for their brethren who were in the Abyss at the moment) lost all connection with the Abbys. The Abyssal language was the only thing they retained. After a few decades of the race spreading throughout the cold forests, they were discovered by humankind. They were treated as slaves. As of now, most bulsters were liberated somehow, and have resumed roaming the cold forests.

    During their enslavement, they have picked up the Common language, as well as some classes (Predominantly Rogue).

    ---

    This is my first Homebrew element. Critique regarding the balance and suggestions regarding the empty fields would be appreciated. I plan to post more Homebrew Monsters if this one works out well.
    Last edited by L.A.T.; 2012-10-07 at 11:20 AM. Reason: Added description; minor fixes

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Seharvepernfan's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Cydonia

    Default Re: Homebrew Monsters - Critique Needed

    I think it would be best if you described a bulster to us in detail, along with their origins and society. Fey (once demon) is a unique type...could you explain that to us?

    Are they always encountered as part of a group totaling 3-5?

    Cold forests, not frosty forests.

    If the initiative is +2, why is the dex bonus to armor class only +1?

    Where is the +10 hit points coming from?

    It looks like their str is 14-15, and their dex 12-15.

    Generally, you start with ability scores, then fill in the other statistics.
    Spoiler: Ironcage Keep
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    Initiative:

    - Leo
    - Enemies
    - Frith (Light, 92 rounds), Obergrym (rage 5 rounds, 14/17 hp), Melrik - CURRENT
    - Enemies
    - Jade
    - Enemies

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Orc in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2010

    Default Re: Homebrew Monsters - Critique Needed

    I calculate the Hit Points to be 34, but that's the only listed error I can spot.

    I don't see anything to really make this stand out as interesting, as it doesn't offer anything fun to play with. No unique abilities or combinations (none at all, as a matter of fact), no history or culture to fascinate me, noting to even suggest a direction outside of them being "once demons" (which means what?). This is very bare bones, and doesn't yet offer a direction to build from.

    Which would be my first suggestion. Start with something you find interesting (even if its horribly out of balance), and then add & subtract based around the concept.
    Last edited by Adamantrue; 2012-10-07 at 10:57 AM.

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Daemon

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    The Netherlands
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Homebrew Monsters - Critique Needed

    Quote Originally Posted by Seharvepernfan View Post
    Are they always encountered as part of a group totaling 3-5?
    It is possible for them to be encountered in a smaller or bigger group, but this would require a special occasion, like fighting an exiled bulster or when a group of bulsters is trying to take over a city.

    Quote Originally Posted by Seharvepernfan View Post
    If the initiative is +2, why is the dex bonus to armor class only +1?
    I did not know that the initiative and the dex bonus were directly related.

    Quote Originally Posted by Seharvepernfan View Post
    Where is the +10 hit points coming from?
    Am I supposed to specify that?

    I also fixed and added some things.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateGirl

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Elemental Plane of Purple
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Homebrew Monsters - Critique Needed

    Quote Originally Posted by L.A.T. View Post
    Bulster
    Without a complete stat block, it's hard to critique. A creature that is now a fey but used to be a demon might have the Augmented Outsider subtype. Does it have an traits from it's demonic heritage?

    I recommend finishing the stat block first. It needs ability scores and feats.

    You really need to describe this a bit fuller. What do they look like? Giving them a head butt makes it sound like they are quadrupeds. Since you mention that they have hooves, it's not clear if they can use them as weapons.

    Debby
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
    my creations in homebrew signature thread

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