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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Balmas's Avatar

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    Default Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Okay boys, confession time: I'm a munchkin. I enjoy imagining weird character ideas and then making them absurdly powerful. However, I do occasionally draw a line in the sand that I'll never cross. For example, Pun-Pun will never see the light of day.

    But, that's not very fun, is it? What about those times that you want to make your DM suffer? Or perhaps you merely want to make those uppity PCs pay for splitting up.

    All you need to do is pull this simple gourd from your bag of holding, point it at the target and say the command word for a torrent of endless hair-pulling, insanity-inducing bad ideas!

    This is the fourth chamber for the decanter, the other three having overflowed. As we swam in the morass of crazy, we voted on a new location, and here we are!

    [Any] Things I may no longer do while playing.
    Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
    Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero


    Note: if you're going to use numbers, please keep the numbering in order. This means:
    1) don't add sub-rules to previous numbers--people will think that number is the current one
    2) look to make sure that the last post isn't a sub-rule to a previous number

    I suggest using asterisks, though, as the first thread did.
    "Yeah, I might have overreacted I suppose, shooting him, but it wasn't his spoon! I stole ammo, fine, but what was with the spoon?

    "...When did I get a spoon, anyway?" ~Gopher

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Riverdance's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    *When the DM pulls a mind swap on the entire party my wizard-in-a-fighter's body may not be more effective than the original fighter.

    *If my rogue-in-a-paladin's body is more ethical than the paladin something is wrong.
    Last edited by Riverdance; 2012-10-09 at 09:44 AM.
    Many thanks to Ceika for my Avatar

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    * I am not allowed to optimize the entire party
    ** If I do so, I cannot make everyone halflings
    *** We do NOT represent the Lollipop guild
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 Internet(s) and 2 Win(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

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    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Malak'ai's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Ksheep View Post
    * I am not allowed to optimize the entire party
    ** If I do so, I cannot make everyone halflings
    *** We do NOT represent the Lollipop guild
    ****The BBEG Sorceress is NOT the Wicked Witch of the West.
    *****She will NOT melt if I cast 'create water' above her head.
    ******The Druid's animal companion taking a wizz on her leg is right out.
    *******And NO, I cannot 'ride the flying monkeys'.
    Last edited by Malak'ai; 2012-10-09 at 10:23 AM.


    Peeking Druid and Sleepy Kitty Avatar by Kurien and Awesome Party banner by Akrim.elf .

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Silverbit's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    *Gunpowder and fire elementals do not mix.
    **Neither does sodium and water elementals.

    *There is no NHS in this world.
    **You may not found it.
    I'm also on the Bay12 Games forums under the same username.

    Quote by Zale, on Dwarf Fortress Dwarves:
    An Int BONUS?
    I've seen them walk off waterfalls.

    The awesome Ceika made my avatar! All hail!

    Catgirl Slayers apply herein.

    Check out this Cthulhu Mythos homebrew setting. It has Mechas.

    1 cookie from Amphetryon, for identifying a Norse myth. HUZZAH!

    Currently playing the dwarven nation of Razdis in EMPIRE!, run by Morph Bark.

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Jane_Smith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    * Players are no longer allowed to cast color spray at allies.
    ** Or animal companions.
    *** Or rationalize catching a building on fire with this spell by some paradox of events.
    **** ESPECIALLY when allies and animal companion are inside said building.
    ***** And persuading the dm to let it happen.
    ****** Only to find out there was barrels of gunpowder inside the building and the dm is now cackling in glee.
    ******* They are also not allowed to blame the gun slinger in the party for placing those barrels there earlier when they helped him place said barrels that same morning.
    ******** Or just use color spray again at all.



    * Players are not allowed to play half-centaur, half-golem, half-fiend halfling swashbuckling dread pirates.
    ** They are also not allowed to take underfoot fighting as a feat.
    *** Or apply a permanent reduce person to themselves.
    **** Or customize a rowboat to be a tiny sailing ship so it gets a size bonus to ac.
    ***** Then raid, and successfully plunger, an entire pirate cove.
    Last edited by Jane_Smith; 2012-10-09 at 11:12 AM.

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    Pixie in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Things I will never make the mistake of letting my players to do again.

    *I will never again let the battlemind wear a suit made of pillows to a royal wedding.

    *I will never make super optimized characters for half my players.

    *I will never again allow any members of the party to date Thayan witches.
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    Lothar. "Hey Frostclaw, since im a werewolf now and can't control myself, you can lure me into Senri's bedroom so I can kill him and his girlfriend in their sleep!"

    Frostclaw. "Sweet! I'll get some meat to lure you with!"

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    Troll in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Malak'ai View Post
    *******And NO, I cannot 'ride the flying monkeys'.
    ******** I cannot literally ride the flying monkeys either.
    * My character may not successfully explain how the main quest-giver is actually the evil one and the BBEG just an innocent(-ish) victim if this was not meant to be the case.
    ** Knowledge(Psychology), Knowledge(Plot Holes), and Knowledge(Basic Understanding of Cause and Effect) are now all forbidden to me, as are their equivalents in other systems.

    Quote Originally Posted by Palegreenpants View Post
    *I will never again allow any members of the party to date Thayan witches.
    ** Circle magic can "enhance" spells, and only spells.
    *** No, just no.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

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    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Arcanist's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    *I may no longer cast Epic Spells with a DC of 0
    ** Yes, even if that Epic spell conjures cupcakes

    *Knowledge (System Mastery) never a class skill for me.
    **Even if I am a Wizard.
    ***Especially if I am a Wizard.
    Last edited by Arcanist; 2012-10-09 at 12:51 PM.

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    Troll in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Arcanist View Post
    *I may no longer cast Epic Spells with a DC of 0
    ** Yes, even if that Epic spell conjures cupcakes
    *** Even if the cupcakes are harmless.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Sith_Happens View Post
    *** Even if the cupcakes are harmless.
    **** Especially if it creates more then 13 cupcakes.
    ***** the cupcakes can be no larger then tiny in size
    Last edited by toapat; 2012-10-09 at 01:17 PM.


    My Homebrew: found here.
    When you Absolutely, Positively, Gotta Drop some Huge rocks, Accept NO Substitutes

    PM Me if you would like a table from my homebrew reconstructed.

    I use Red when I'm angry, I use blue when I'm excited.
    Drow avatar @ myself

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    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by toapat View Post
    **** Especially if it creates more then 13 cupcakes.
    ***** the cupcakes can be no larger then tiny in size
    ****** Not even when the party rogue keeps stealing all my sweetrolls

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    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    MidgetMarine's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    *I may not convince a phasm to accompany the party
    **Or convince that phasm to regularly transform into a fire giant
    ***OR use the fire giant/phasm as a mount
    ****OR Tie up said fire giant at local stables
    *****OR sell said fire giant as bodyguard service.
    ******OR retire upon the profits of this business.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    EvilClericGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    ****** Not even when the party rogue keeps stealing all my sweetrolls
    *******May not wright an exploding rune on said sweetroll in icing.
    Last edited by Blightedmarsh; 2012-10-09 at 02:32 PM.

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    toapat's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Blightedmarsh View Post
    *******May not wright an exploding rune on said sweetroll in icing.
    ********I will however bake the spell into the cake.
    *********Eating said cake is highly advised, as explosive runes will not detonate on ingestion


    *A manual of Bodily Health is to be read, not eaten
    **Even if biting through it would be enough to increase your constitution
    ***Expecially if im a Barbarian and Illiterate


    My Homebrew: found here.
    When you Absolutely, Positively, Gotta Drop some Huge rocks, Accept NO Substitutes

    PM Me if you would like a table from my homebrew reconstructed.

    I use Red when I'm angry, I use blue when I'm excited.
    Drow avatar @ myself

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    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Rockphed's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    **** If I do attempt to gain the benefits of a manual of health by eating it, I am not to force the party to accompany me on a quest for the perfect sauce.
    ***** The warm blood of my enemies is not the best sauce for eating my books.
    Dragontar by Serpentine.

    Now offering unsolicited advice.

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    Troll in the Playground
     
    Sith_Happens's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by MrLemon View Post
    ****** Not even when the party rogue keeps stealing all my sweetrolls
    * I may not research the spell [Character name]'s Knee-Seeking Acid Arrow.
    ** The target of this spell does not have to make a fortitude save vs. becoming a town guard.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Dr Bwaa's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by toapat View Post
    ********I will however bake the spell into the cake.
    *********Eating said cake is highly advised, as explosive runes will not detonate on ingestion
    **********I will not donate my entrails for use in divinations after eating this cake, however.

    *I will not convince the GM to let me buy a Decanter of Endless Flour.
    **Not even though we're in the marketplace in the City of Brass and all the salespeople are Eefreeti.
    ***Not even if the NG cleric gets to buy a slave.
    ****Just no.

    *If I am a NG cleric, I do not get to buy a slave at "fair market price" from an Eefreet "because I'm pretty".
    Last edited by Dr Bwaa; 2012-10-09 at 05:38 PM.
    Bored? Come for our stories; stay to share yours.

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    Awesome banner/avatar by El_Frenchie!

    Play chess? Look me up! (bwaa)


    Formerly known as lordhenry4000

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    Halfling in the Playground
     
    DruidGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    * I cannot exclusively drink the blood of my enemies
    **Strawberry Yoo-Hoos are also not alowed
    ***A Bloody Mary doesn't contain actual blood
    Last edited by saxavarius; 2012-10-09 at 10:07 PM.

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    Ogre in the Playground
     
    toapat's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by saxavarius View Post
    * I cannot exclusively drink the blood of my enemies
    **Strawberry Yoo-Hoos are also not aloud
    ***A Bloody Mary doesn't contain actual blood
    ****Alevera rubbed on the neck is not treatment for getting shot in the foot


    My Homebrew: found here.
    When you Absolutely, Positively, Gotta Drop some Huge rocks, Accept NO Substitutes

    PM Me if you would like a table from my homebrew reconstructed.

    I use Red when I'm angry, I use blue when I'm excited.
    Drow avatar @ myself

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Doxkid's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    *It should not contain Mary either.

    **There are no recreational uses for Flesh to Stone.

    ***Do NOT steal the necromancer's horse.

    ****Weaponized fruit is a privilege, not a right.

    *****The Healer who wields bananas should not do more damage per round than the rest of the party combined.

    ******I lose my right to have bananas (IRL and In game) if any character I play has any resemblance to Soraka.

    *******A banana that throws healers is right out.

    ********The DM trusted me to not build pink haired wild-men who can swallow enemies whole. I shouldn't abuse that trust.
    A pickle shifts uneasily under the bun.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Jane_Smith View Post
    ***** Then raid, and successfully plunger, an entire pirate cove.
    *Not to ask how one can PLUNGER a pirate cove.

    Have a deviantart!

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    And a Pbp: Going to hell and loving it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

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    Ogre in the Playground
     
    toapat's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Sith_Happens View Post
    * I may not research the spell [Character name]'s Knee-Seeking Acid Arrow.
    ** The target of this spell does not have to make a fortitude save vs. becoming a town guard.
    ***There is no fortitude save against becoming a town guard
    ****Anyone struck with Knee Seeking Arrow gains it as an at will Spell Like Ability


    My Homebrew: found here.
    When you Absolutely, Positively, Gotta Drop some Huge rocks, Accept NO Substitutes

    PM Me if you would like a table from my homebrew reconstructed.

    I use Red when I'm angry, I use blue when I'm excited.
    Drow avatar @ myself

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    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    The Second's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    If, while my bard is 'entertaining' the dukes consort, the duke enters the room, he WILL autofail all of his diplomacy checks.

    The duke also gets a +20 circumstance bonus to his will saves versus my Suggestions.

    I WILL accept the fact that I am royally screwed, pun intended.

    1782. I will remember we're playing 4th edition and stop using my imagination.
    - From 1975 things MR. Welch is no longer allowed to do in an RPG.

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Riverdance's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Doxkid View Post
    *snip*

    ****Weaponized fruit is a privilege, not a right.

    *****The Healer who wields bananas should not do more damage per round than the rest of the party combined.

    ******I lose my right to have bananas (IRL and In game) if any character I play has any resemblance to Soraka.

    *******A banana that throws healers is right out.


    *snip*
    *****Even if it would be something completely different.
    ******I am not to complain when the person I run at with a banana pulls out a pistol and shoots me.
    *******All NPCs are now trained in how to defend against being attacked with fruit.

    Monty Python anyone?
    Last edited by Riverdance; 2012-10-09 at 07:04 PM.
    Many thanks to Ceika for my Avatar

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    Orc in the Playground
     
    newBlazingAngel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    *I am to stop basing my characters off of...
    The sound of music
    Disney films
    Music videos
    "This one anime I saw"
    The 90's in general.
    "This one fanfiction I read"
    Any of my own, personal heroes
    Batman
    Andre the Giant
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    No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.

    I just started playing D&D, and love the game

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    First level paladin.
    STR:14
    DEX: 8
    CON: 10
    INT:13
    WIS: 12
    CHA: 16

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    enderlord99's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Sith_Happens View Post
    * I may not research the spell [Character name]'s Knee-Seeking Acid Arrow.
    ** The target of this spell does not have to make a fortitude save vs. becoming a town guard.
    ***If the spell existed, which it doesn't, the save would be will... not fortitude.

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    toapat's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Pokemon-freak89 View Post
    ***If the spell existed, which it doesn't, the save would be will... not fortitude.
    ****That assumes there would be a save, and not a propagation effect


    My Homebrew: found here.
    When you Absolutely, Positively, Gotta Drop some Huge rocks, Accept NO Substitutes

    PM Me if you would like a table from my homebrew reconstructed.

    I use Red when I'm angry, I use blue when I'm excited.
    Drow avatar @ myself

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Orc in the Playground
     
    OldWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    *The paladin in obvious holy armor may not attempt to bluff his way through the guards guarding the demon summoning
    SSBitP
    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "Creativity is the art of knowing how to hide one's sources." - Original quote, DO NOT STEAL.

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    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Arcanist's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by toapat View Post
    ****That assumes there would be a save, and not a propagation effect
    *****Assuming that there is a save, whenever the spell is casted on me I automatically fail the save and Die.
    ******Upon such death all contingencies fail
    *******Yes, even that one
    ********Especially that one
    Last edited by Arcanist; 2012-10-09 at 10:29 PM.

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