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  1. - Top - End - #361
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    *I cannot have flaw: speechimpediment(Haiku). Neither is it a complusion.
    *I may not make a character wihting 3 hours of seeing Phineas and Ferb
    **I may not do anyting tabletop RPG related withing 3 hours of seeing Phineas and Ferb
    *No, to the BBEG, the wightocalypse is not like playing plague inc., infection or any other kind of game.
    **Put down the tablet and smartphone
    ***laptop too
    Warlock Poetry?
    Or ways to use me in game?
    Better grab a drink...

    Currently ruining Strahd's day - Avatar by the Outstanding Smuchsmuch

    First Ordained Jr. Tormlet by LoyalPaladin

  2. - Top - End - #362
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Socratov View Post
    *I cannot have flaw: speechimpediment(Haiku). Neither is it a complusion.
    Would be better if it were:

    I cannot have flaw: Speech Impediment (Haiku). Nor A Compulsion.

    • I will not create flow charts that catagorize the GM's NPCs.
    • I will not fix those flow charts so that all NPCs end up in the catagory "Mary Sue"
    • I will not encourage the party to form a line and make choo-choo noises when we think that the GM is railroading us back to the important plot point.
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    D&D 5e Homebrew: My Little Pony Races

  3. - Top - End - #363
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    *My characters name does in fact not contain numbers. I am to be reminded of this every now and then.
    **My character may not be introduced as "[character's name] Starring as ..."
    *No moving vehicles will be used as a place of introduction.
    **Except for carts towards the chopping block
    *There is no such thing as a minion, crafted form whatever, turning out to be the reception committee, welcoming you by giving you equipment.
    *No you are not helped by some form of deva, archon or other angelic creature helping you form above by sending you visions. You are not that special a snowflake.
    Warlock Poetry?
    Or ways to use me in game?
    Better grab a drink...

    Currently ruining Strahd's day - Avatar by the Outstanding Smuchsmuch

    First Ordained Jr. Tormlet by LoyalPaladin

  4. - Top - End - #364
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Techwarrior's Avatar

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    Apr 2012

    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    As DM, my puzzles may not involve haiku, particularly if the answer is the only three lines that aren't actually a haiku.
    My answers to divinations may not involve limericks.
    Just because the spell description says I can give a 'cryptic response' doesn't mean I should.
    Particularly if the response is a poem.
    I am to ask someone else to write my poems answers to divinations and puzzles. Mine are "too hard."
    Avatar courtesy of Ceika.

  5. - Top - End - #365
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Techwarrior View Post
    My answers to divinations may not involve limericks.
    Limericks are bad/Although haiku is just fine/Even when cryptic
    Avatar by Venetian Mask. It's of an NPC from a campaign I may yet run (possibly in PbP) who became a favorite of mine while planning.

    Quote Originally Posted by Razanir View Post
    Everyone knows frying pans are actually weapons that people repurpose for cooking
    I am a 10/14/11/15/12/14 LG Clr 2

  6. - Top - End - #366
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    * I may not make a character that speaks solely in iambic pentameter
    ** He is not allowed to soliloquize more than once a session
    *** Said soliloquies must be shorter than one minute in length
    **** You know what, no soliloquies at all
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 0.99 2.00 Internet(s), 2 Win(s), and 3000 Brownie Point(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  7. - Top - End - #367
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Socratov View Post
    *No moving vehicles will be used as a place of introduction.
    **Except for carts towards the chopping block
    ***Expecially carts moving towards chopping blocks
    ****you will not be saved by a dragon attempting to kill you
    *****you do not have Forceful hand as a once/1d4 rounds SLA
    My Homebrew: found here.
    When you Absolutely, Positively, Gotta Drop some Huge rocks, Accept NO Substitutes

    PM Me if you would like a table from my homebrew reconstructed.

    Drow avatar @ myself

  8. - Top - End - #368
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Adoendithas's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    * I am not allowed to filibuster a session.
    Awesome avatar by I♥P&P!

  9. - Top - End - #369
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Adoendithas View Post
    * I am not allowed to filibuster a session.
    **Reading the phone book to filibuster a session is right out.
    ***And will result in any/all objects in the near vicinity being given momentum in my general direction.

  10. - Top - End - #370
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Wookieetank View Post
    **Reading the phone book to filibuster a session is right out.
    ***And will result in any/all objects in the near vicinity being given momentum in my general direction.
    **** This does not mean I gain telekinesis.

  11. - Top - End - #371
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Balmas's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Wookieetank View Post
    **Reading the phone book to filibuster a session is right out.
    ***And will result in any/all objects in the near vicinity being given momentum in my general direction.
    ****Me, not my character.
    I run a Let's Play channel! Check it out!
    Currently, we're playing through New Vegas as Gabriel de la Cruz, merchant and mercenary extraordinaire!

  12. - Top - End - #372
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Black Mage's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    * When playing a Gunslinger, all of my attacks cannot be called-shots to the enemies knees.
    ** I may not name my character "The Kneecapper"
    *** I may not play a Tauric creature Spellweaver/riding dog
    **** I may not play a Quickling with the Quickling template.
    ***** My character cannot hijack someones Wish from a genie to wish for a mountain of cocaine.
    ****** While playing 4th Edition, characters cannot snort Residium and call it magic dust.
    Member of the Belkar Fanclub


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    Quote Originally Posted by TimeWizard View Post
    Jade Phoenix Mages have the coolest capstone ability ever. They explode. Low on health? explode. Surrounded? expolde. Outsiders? explode. Explode? explode. Come back a few rounds later with all your hp.
    Avatar by: Rex Idiotarum


    R.I.P. Gary Gygax

  13. - Top - End - #373
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Nyes the Dark's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    *I may not play Neo from The Matrix
    **Smith is right out
    ***No Oracle either
    ****No Matrix characters

    *My character's Verbal components for spells may not include any of the following:
    -Spoilers from popular fiction
    --Ice Cream Koans
    ---Feigned accents, good or bad
    ----Poetry or music (only applies when not a Bard)
    *----Bardic songs may not include references to the latest pop songs
    **----Nor may they include references to any pop songs
    ***----No Bards
    Thanks to flumphy for the avatar

  14. - Top - End - #374
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Rockphed's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Black Mage View Post
    * While playing 4th Edition, characters cannot snort Residium and call it magic dust.
    This gives me evil ideas for divination rituals. Lots and lots of evil ideas.
    Quote Originally Posted by Wardog View Post
    Rockphed said it well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sam Starfall
    When your pants are full of crickets, you don't need mnemonics.
    Dragontar by Serpentine.

    Now offering unsolicited advice.

  15. - Top - End - #375
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Black Mage's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    * I may not base characters off of any movie I have seen.
    ** Especially if the character is based solely on a single line of dialog.
    *** ESPECIALLY if that line of dialog is about shoving a mans head up another mans ass.
    **** I may no longer run games using Immortals Handbook. This is for my own sanity.
    ***** Throw Anything does not give me proficiency in Halfings.
    ****** Especially if I'm a gnome.
    Member of the Belkar Fanclub


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    Quote Originally Posted by TimeWizard View Post
    Jade Phoenix Mages have the coolest capstone ability ever. They explode. Low on health? explode. Surrounded? expolde. Outsiders? explode. Explode? explode. Come back a few rounds later with all your hp.
    Avatar by: Rex Idiotarum


    R.I.P. Gary Gygax

  16. - Top - End - #376
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    *A building with a sign on it that says STAY OUT in big red letters should not be the party's first point of interest in a populated area.
    **Make that any area.
    ***Not even if the party needs a place to live.
    ****Not even if it has a fish tank for our pet eel.
    *****Checking the secret hidden basement is especially not recommended.
    ******Claiming a place by right of conquest does not make you any less of a squatter if you don't own the place.

  17. - Top - End - #377
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Geigan View Post
    *A building with a sign on it that says STAY OUT in big red letters should not be the party's first point of interest in a populated area.
    **Make that any area.
    ***Not even if the party needs a place to live.
    ****Not even if it has a fish tank for our pet eel.
    *****Checking the secret hidden basement is especially not recommended.
    ******Claiming a place by right of conquest does not make you any less of a squatter if you don't own the place.
    ... You do realise that is adventure code for "Please kick our door in and take all our delectable lootable stuff", right?
    Can't write. Can't plan. Can draw a little.
    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

  18. - Top - End - #378
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Amidus Drexel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    ... You do realise that is adventure code for "Please kick our door in and take all our delectable lootable stuff", right?
    *I may not make a sign with "Please kick our door in and take all our delectable lootable stuff"
    **Not even if it is meant as a trap.
    ***Especially if it is not meant as a trap.
    Avatar by FinnLassie
    A few odds and ends.

  19. - Top - End - #379
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    AssassinGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    * I cannot convince the DM that I have "Heavy Armor Optimization" on the basis "that's what I'm doing!"
    Edit: ** Neither do I have "Extraordinary Spell Aim" on the basis "I have Dexterity 20; I'm just that good!"
    Last edited by rockdeworld; 2012-11-07 at 12:10 AM.

  20. - Top - End - #380
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Kelb_Panthera's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    ... You do realise that is adventure code for "Please kick our door in and take all our delectable lootable stuff", right?
    You realize that if enough of the doors so captioned are vigorously trapped and lead to very bad things (which may or may not include little-to-no loot) that the pavlov effect will eventually take hold.

    It can be tricky to breed just the right ammount of paranoia in players, but if you can manage not to go overboard it's well worth the effort
    I am not seaweed. That's a B.

    Praise I've received
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThiagoMartell View Post
    Kelb, recently it looks like you're the Avatar of Reason in these forums, man.
    Quote Originally Posted by LTwerewolf View Post
    [...] bringing Kelb in on your side in a rules fight is like bringing Mike Tyson in on your side to fight a toddler. You can, but it's such massive overkill.
    A quick outline on building a homebrew campaign

    Avatar by Tiffanie Lirle

  21. - Top - End - #381
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Black Mage's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Kelb_Panthera View Post
    You realize that if enough of the doors so captioned are vigorously trapped and lead to very bad things (which may or may not include little-to-no loot) that the pavlov effect will eventually take hold.

    It can be tricky to breed just the right ammount of paranoia in players, but if you can manage not to go overboard it's well worth the effort
    Truth. My players have an unnatural fear of pillars and all things pillar-y.
    Member of the Belkar Fanclub


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    Quote Originally Posted by TimeWizard View Post
    Jade Phoenix Mages have the coolest capstone ability ever. They explode. Low on health? explode. Surrounded? expolde. Outsiders? explode. Explode? explode. Come back a few rounds later with all your hp.
    Avatar by: Rex Idiotarum


    R.I.P. Gary Gygax

  22. - Top - End - #382
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Black Mage's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    * I should not urinate on a statue of a chaotic evil god that is crackling with red lightning.
    ** Even if I swear the DM said there was red LIGHTING, not lightning. It's still a bad idea.
    *** I deserve everything I get if I manage to blow up the BBEG just before he starts his monologue.

    This is for one of my players.
    * Not allowed to own a sap.
    ** Not allowed to take the Sap Mastery feats in Pathfinder.
    *** Not allowed to craft a throwing/returning human bane sap from a humans nether regions.
    **** Not allowed to run around throwing said sap at people while laughing maniacly.
    Member of the Belkar Fanclub


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    Quote Originally Posted by TimeWizard View Post
    Jade Phoenix Mages have the coolest capstone ability ever. They explode. Low on health? explode. Surrounded? expolde. Outsiders? explode. Explode? explode. Come back a few rounds later with all your hp.
    Avatar by: Rex Idiotarum


    R.I.P. Gary Gygax

  23. - Top - End - #383
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ElfWarriorGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    * I may not use 'charm' 'dominate' or the likes to control the BBEG's entire fort's garrison
    ** I should not be surprised when the DM gives him an ability that kills them all
    *** I'm not allowed to use this as justification to have a plan to kill the entire party
    **** Even if it fits with my Lawful Evil douche of a character
    I'M NOT CRAZY!!

    I just find sanity a rather dull affair

  24. - Top - End - #384
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Adoendithas's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Wookieetank View Post
    **Reading the phone book to filibuster a session is right out.
    ***And will result in any/all objects in the near vicinity being given momentum in my general direction.
    ****Despite its apparent appropriateness, the same goes for the Player's Handbook, Dungeon Master's Guide, Monster Manual, or Rules Compendium.
    Awesome avatar by I♥P&P!

  25. - Top - End - #385
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Adoendithas View Post
    ****Despite its apparent appropriateness, the same goes for the Player's Handbook, Dungeon Master's Guide, Monster Manual, or Rules Compendium.
    *****This is not the accepted way to introduce new players to the rules.
    ******However I can take full credit for everyone's improved understanding of the rules after said reading.

  26. - Top - End - #386
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Arctic Elves do not get a +4 bonus on Craft (Toymaking) checks.
    LGBTitp

  27. - Top - End - #387
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Dire Moose View Post
    Arctic Elves do not get a +4 bonus on Craft (Toymaking) checks.
    ** There is not an Island of Misfit toys, and defective Warforged are not sent there.
    ***Convincing the party's Warforge of the above though is bloody hilarious.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rockphed View Post
    Dwarf Fortress would like to have a word with you. The word is decorated with bands of microcline and meanaces with spikes of rose gold. On the word is an image of the word in cinnabar.
    Quote Originally Posted by kpenguin View Post
    This is an image of Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses engraved in sandstone. Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses is leaving Trotknives. Trotknives is on fire and full of goblins. This image refers to the destruction of Trotknives in late winter of 109 by Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses.

  28. - Top - End - #388
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Doxkid's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    *Singing a cheery song in/out of character in various characters and party roles is slightly odd.
    **Singing them in foreign languages is even odder.
    ***I will quietly leave when my group finds out I have been chanting oaths of bloodshed and ruin to the tune of "Tomorrow" for the past year, and I will not expect to be invited back.
    ****There is nothing 'conversational' about the Egyptian I know.
    *****Stop picking up girls with "sweet phrases about their eyes".
    ******If everyone glances at me when a IRL crime is shown on the news, I may not pretend to be indignant.

  29. - Top - End - #389
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Nov 2011

    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    For those of you who know 40k

    *I may not strap a lasgun to my bolter for use as a "laser sight"
    **I may not claim that it is still underpowered even for that role

    *I may not hit on the Sisters of Battle
    **If I do they will probably hit me, through a wall

    *I may not deploy my guardsmen in a defensive position complete with fortifications and interlocking fields of fire then complain when the deamons just decide to possess all of them

    *I may not lose on turn one without rolling any dice
    **this happening may not cause me to seek a new gaming system

    *I may not do terminator impressions for the necron

    *I may not keep a pet carnifex "cause he's sooo cute!"

    *I may not debate the fine points of body armor with the dark eldar

    *I may not utter the words "Boom, Headshot" when the vindicare takes down yet another helmetless space marine

    *I may not memorize several imperial prayers and repeat them during the game
    **I may not recite the Litany of Hate. its just creepy
    Warning!! This poster makes frequent use of Sarcasm, Jokes, and Exaggeration. He intends no offense.

  30. - Top - End - #390
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Adoendithas's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Doxkid View Post
    *Singing a cheery song in/out of character in various characters and party roles is slightly odd.
    **Singing them in foreign languages is even odder.
    ***I will quietly leave when my group finds out I have been chanting oaths of bloodshed and ruin to the tune of "Tomorrow" for the past year, and I will not expect to be invited back.
    ****There is nothing 'conversational' about the Egyptian I know.
    *****Stop picking up girls with "sweet phrases about their eyes".
    ******If everyone glances at me when a IRL crime is shown on the news, I may not pretend to be indignant.
    ******* Conversely, if the evil wizard's ritual involves chanting "Mica, Mica, Parva Stella! Miror Quaenam Sis Tam Bella! Splendens Eminus In Illo! Alba Velut Gamma Caelo! (etc.)" the players have the right to throw books.
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    For those who don't speak Latin, this translates roughly to "Twinkle, twinkle little star! How I wonder what you are! Up above the world so high! Like a diamond in the sky!
    Awesome avatar by I♥P&P!

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