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  1. - Top - End - #91
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Balmas's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by NikitaDarkstar View Post
    * I am not allowed to play natural lychantropes anymore.
    * I am not allowed to play barbarians anymore.
    * I am most certainly not allowed to play werewolf barbarians anymore.
    ** Especially not with the Lesser Animal Totem rage power.
    *** Soloing a CR 4 encounter as an ECL 3 character is just bad form.
    ****Soloing the tarrasque at level eighteen is just showing off.
    ****I shall remember that while my barbarian can deal out the damage like nobody's business, he can't take what he gives.
    *****The DM can minmax too.
    The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. ~ Terry Pratchett

    People don't *live* on the Disc anymore than, in less hand-crafted parts of the multiverse, they live on balls. Oh, planets may be the place where their body eats its tea, but they *live* elsewhere, in worlds of their own which orbit very handily around the center of their heads. ~Terry Pratchett again

  2. - Top - End - #92
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    toapat's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Balmas View Post
    ****Soloing the tarrasque at level eighteen is just showing off.
    *****Soloing the Tarrasque at anything over third level is considered polite to the DM
    ******I will not respond immediately with a Half-Platnium Vow of Poverty Paragon Pseudonatural Tarrasque


    My Homebrew: found here.
    When you Absolutely, Positively, Gotta Drop some Huge rocks, Accept NO Substitutes

    PM Me if you would like a table from my homebrew reconstructed.

    I use Red when I'm angry, I use blue when I'm excited.
    Drow avatar @ myself

  3. - Top - End - #93
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    Doxkid's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    * "If I can catch it, I can kill it" should neither be accurate nor easy. Please consider the DM when you prove you can indeed catch and kill anything; he has feelings too and I'm sure he put a lot of work into that monster with more templates than you have character levels.
    Last edited by Doxkid; 2012-10-12 at 10:57 PM.
    A pickle shifts uneasily under the bun.

    My birthday is April 18th. Don't trust anything I say around then since I wont be very sober that day.

  4. - Top - End - #94
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ElfRogueGirl

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Balmas View Post
    ****I shall remember that while my barbarian can deal out the damage like nobody's business, he can't take what he gives.
    ***** Unless we're playing pathfinder and archetypes are in play, some of them are very, very scary.


    * "If I can catch it, I can kill it" should neither be accurate nor easy. Please consider the DM when you prove you can indeed catch and kill anything; he has feelings too and I'm sure he put a lot of work into that monster with more templates than you have character levels.
    ** Killing it without actually catching it is rude.
    *** Yes, even if you are a wizard.
    **** Especially if you are a wizard.

  5. - Top - End - #95
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    toapat's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Doxkid View Post
    * "If I can catch it, I can kill it" should neither be accurate nor easy. Please consider the DM when you prove you can indeed catch and kill anything; he has feelings too and I'm sure he put a lot of work into that monster with more templates than you have character levels.
    just a quick note: Half-Platnium, Paragon, (MotP) Pseudonatural Tarrasque is simply fixing most of his weaknesses. the topic that came from has him getting 15ish templates along with Vow of Poverty, giving him enough power to trounce most printed enemies


    My Homebrew: found here.
    When you Absolutely, Positively, Gotta Drop some Huge rocks, Accept NO Substitutes

    PM Me if you would like a table from my homebrew reconstructed.

    I use Red when I'm angry, I use blue when I'm excited.
    Drow avatar @ myself

  6. - Top - End - #96
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Riverdance's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Techwarrior View Post
    How do you manage a Paranoia game that survives an entire session? Hell we play Paranoia planning to only go one night at this point.
    *If I choose to run any length paranoia-based game it is to be played in broad daylight and all players are to be presented with a lollipop and a teddy bear before they go home.
    **Prank calling that night will get me kicked out of the group.
    ***Even if I am the DM.
    Many thanks to Ceika for my Avatar

  7. - Top - End - #97
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    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Rockphed View Post
    Dare I ask about the story behind this?
    It was one of my players who did this, and its really pretty much what it says. The ranger, in an attempt to get on an airship, tried to convince the tengu that the military had ordered him to give them his vulture. Who, as a running gag, is gay.


    78% of all DM's start their first campaign in a tavern. If you're among the 22% who didn't, copy and paste this into your signature and tell us where you DID begin.

    The party wakes up underground, in a massive library, with no clue where they are or how they got there.

  8. - Top - End - #98
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    *My character's life-goal needs to be slightly more developed than "irrepressible desire to to consume the gods with barbecue sauce"
    Have a deviantart!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Craft (Cheese) View Post
    "In his free time, he gates in Balors just so he can kill and eat them later!"

  9. - Top - End - #99
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    *My character's life-goal needs to be slightly more developed than "irrepressible desire to to consume the gods with barbecue sauce"
    **Declaring, after doing so, that there "Puny" in terms of there "God Flavor." is not more developed.
    "I Burn!"

  10. - Top - End - #100
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ElfRogueGirl

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Metahuman1 View Post
    **Declaring, after doing so, that there "Puny" in terms of there "God Flavor." is not more developed.
    *** Neither is asking for ketchup.

  11. - Top - End - #101
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by NikitaDarkstar View Post
    *** Neither is asking for ketchup.
    ****If the Color Green is related at all to the character's concept, armor, or anything, then a shield shall zoom out of stage right and perform a lobotomy on the character


    My Homebrew: found here.
    When you Absolutely, Positively, Gotta Drop some Huge rocks, Accept NO Substitutes

    PM Me if you would like a table from my homebrew reconstructed.

    I use Red when I'm angry, I use blue when I'm excited.
    Drow avatar @ myself

  12. - Top - End - #102
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    Dimers's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Rockphed View Post
    **** If I do attempt to gain the benefits of a manual of health by eating it, I am not to force the party to accompany me on a quest for the perfect sauce.
    ***** The warm blood of my enemies is not the best sauce for eating my books.
    ****** Nor is green slime, nor quintessence. Nectar of the gods will be considered on a case-by-case basis.
    ******* Unless the gods in the campaign setting are all evil, in which case NO.
    Avatar by Meltheim: Eveve, dwarven battlemind, 4e Dark Sun

  13. - Top - End - #103
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    * The verbal component for Time Stop is not "Chaos control!"
    ** It is not "Za warudo!" either.
    ** Unless I'm playing a Sublime Chord, it is not the Reverse Song of Time either.
    ** "TIID KLO UL!" is right out.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  14. - Top - End - #104
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Devil

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    * I may no longer provide the following snacks at a Paranoia game: MnMs, Skittles, Starbursts, Jolly Ranchers, Jelly Beans, or multi-colored jawbreakers.
    ** Any writing materials or dice provided must be some mixture of gray, red, or black.
    *** If I break either of the above rules, I may not then tattle to Friend Computer about my "teammates'" color violations.


    * Even if I AM on Friend-Computer-prescribed hallucinogenics, I cannot taste magenta, and when asked how I know what magenta is, I need a better answer than "It's red... AND violet.... AT THE SAME TIME! Whooooooooaaah."
    ** I am not to attempt to taste what a faulty (er, sabotaged-by-traitors) device taste likes.
    *** If my drugged antics result in my "teammates" spending so much time trying to save me from myself that they stop trying to kill me, I'm playing the game wrong. (Or maybe very, very right.)
    **** Hallucinogenics do not make me sing.
    ***** I never had, and never will have, the clearance to sing "I'm blue, da-ba-dee da-ba-dye."
    ****** Ditto for "It's not easy being green."
    ******* Apparently, I AM coming up on infrared.
    ******** My clearance level is no longer color-coded.
    ********* No, I do not get to make up the name my new clearance level.
    ********** Henceforth, all hallucinogenics are beyond my clearance level.
    Alstroemeria in Thrair's War of the Final Whisper.
    GM of A Thin Blue Line.

    Me: How crazy it gets depends on how much expertise, adroitness, and finesse you navigate the current craziness. Stick the landing and the whole thing could be wrapped up in a bow tomorrow.
    Player: In other words... we're pretty much doomed, right?
    Me: You're not entirely doomed yet. Now I'll just be sitting back in the corner here, cackling at your next few decisions.

    I'm not an evil GM! Honest!

  15. - Top - End - #105
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Devil

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Addendum:

    * Evidence that I have embraced a meta-strategy of making all negative status ailments and debuffs applied to me so irritating via role-playing that the GM declines to apply them to me in the future, will result in instant character death.
    ** No, I do NOT get last words.
    Alstroemeria in Thrair's War of the Final Whisper.
    GM of A Thin Blue Line.

    Me: How crazy it gets depends on how much expertise, adroitness, and finesse you navigate the current craziness. Stick the landing and the whole thing could be wrapped up in a bow tomorrow.
    Player: In other words... we're pretty much doomed, right?
    Me: You're not entirely doomed yet. Now I'll just be sitting back in the corner here, cackling at your next few decisions.

    I'm not an evil GM! Honest!

  16. - Top - End - #106
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    Kurald Galain's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Sith_Happens View Post
    * The verbal component for Time Stop is not "Chaos control!"
    ** It is not "Za warudo!" either.
    ** Unless I'm playing a Sublime Chord, it is not the Reverse Song of Time either.
    ** "TIID KLO UL!" is right out.
    How about An Tym?
    Crystal Shard Studios - classy freeware games!

    Utility Belt wizard (Batman 4E-style) * Chocolate!

  17. - Top - End - #107
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    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by toapat View Post
    *****Soloing the Tarrasque at anything over third level is considered polite to the DM
    ******I will not respond immediately with a Half-Platnium Vow of Poverty Paragon Pseudonatural Tarrasque
    ******Or simply a Phase-Tarrasque, who disappears only to return much later fully healed to catch the party flat footed.
    "Two elves walked into a bar. There's now a Bar Elf sub-race." -The Dungeon Master on Facebook: http://tinyurl.com/cczy9vg

    You'd probably be best to take everything I say with a grain of salt. Unless we're arguing about alignment. In which case, you're wrong.

  18. - Top - End - #108
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DrowGirl

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    *I will never again remind the DM he has been unable to do me any damage in the current dungeon.*

  19. - Top - End - #109
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    toapat's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by BootStrapTommy View Post
    ******Or simply a Phase-Tarrasque, who disappears only to return much later fully healed to catch the party flat footed.
    *******except that doesnt fix anything.
    ********It also lacks the storytelling potential of a Colonydrop via God-Tarrasque


    My Homebrew: found here.
    When you Absolutely, Positively, Gotta Drop some Huge rocks, Accept NO Substitutes

    PM Me if you would like a table from my homebrew reconstructed.

    I use Red when I'm angry, I use blue when I'm excited.
    Drow avatar @ myself

  20. - Top - End - #110
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    *Any and all references to any video game, anime, and/or miscellaneous work of fiction are punishable by immolation.
    **This goes double for anime that is not Dragon Ball Z, Bleach, or Naruto, because apparently other series don't exist.
    ***Triple for One Piece.
    ****Elder Scrolls is exempt due to pissing me off.

  21. - Top - End - #111
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by vasharanpaladin View Post
    *Any and all references to any video game, anime, and/or miscellaneous work of fiction are punishable by immolation.
    **This goes double for anime that is not Dragon Ball Z, Bleach, or Naruto, because apparently other series don't exist.
    ***Triple for One Piece.
    ****Elder Scrolls is exempt due to pissing me off.
    ****Because not everyone likes Anime, and some people find it impossible to watch because of the animation

    *****Play Skyrim, it has good (ignoring the terrible pacing) writing, and gameplay that flows. people have compiled Thousand+ page tomes of the ingame books.


    My Homebrew: found here.
    When you Absolutely, Positively, Gotta Drop some Huge rocks, Accept NO Substitutes

    PM Me if you would like a table from my homebrew reconstructed.

    I use Red when I'm angry, I use blue when I'm excited.
    Drow avatar @ myself

  22. - Top - End - #112
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    GreataxeFighterGirl

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by toapat View Post
    *****Soloing the Tarrasque at anything over third level is considered polite to the DM
    ******I will not respond immediately with a Half-Platnium Vow of Poverty Paragon Pseudonatural Tarrasque
    If I am ever faced with a Half-Platinum Vow of Poverty Paragon Pseudonatural Tarrasque, I will not use my Diplomacy skill to turn it into an ally by making the point that, because it is now strongly Good-aligned, it would naturally prefer not to kill my Paladin character and her Good-aligned buddies and would at the very least stop and negotiate before biting us in half.

    Also, when offering large amounts of livestock to the Tarrasque, it is necessary to actually own the livestock in question.
    Last edited by Callista; 2012-10-14 at 12:36 PM.

  23. - Top - End - #113
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    LordDeathkeeper's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Guran View Post
    *I will never again remind the DM he has been unable to do me any damage in the current dungeon.*
    *I will never again remind the DM that neither the Paladin nor her polar bear mount have taken damage the entire session
    Spako Highclaws by Ceika.

    [Sorry Boss, but as always, I get the last word.]

  24. - Top - End - #114
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    enderlord99's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    *I may not contradict people.
    **This includes myself.
    ***No it doesn't!


  25. - Top - End - #115
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    Techwarrior's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    I may no longer point out to the DM that my character, the last one standing, has taken no damage the entire campaign.

    Him responding with a spell that offers a Will save, which I have not managed to succeed at any of during the entire campaign, is to be expected.

    Turning the failed Will save versus Charm Person into a party win, and getting the BBEG to raise the entire party, got my PC license revoked.
    Last edited by Techwarrior; 2012-10-14 at 01:57 PM.

  26. - Top - End - #116
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    Sith_Happens's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Techwarrior View Post
    Turning the failed Will save versus Charm Person into a party win, and getting the BBEG to raise the entire party, got my PC license revoked.
    * I may not exploit my character's strict adherence to friendship tropes to either (a) loophole my way out of a Charm spell or (b) irritate the caster so much that they deliberately break the charm.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  27. - Top - End - #117
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ElfRogueGirl

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Sith_Happens View Post
    * I may not exploit my character's strict adherence to friendship tropes to either (a) loophole my way out of a Charm spell or (b) irritate the caster so much that they deliberately break the charm.
    ** Friendship is NOT magic.

  28. - Top - End - #118
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by toapat View Post
    ****Because not everyone likes Anime, and some people find it impossible to watch because of the animation

    *****Play Skyrim, it has good (ignoring the terrible pacing) writing, and gameplay that flows. people have compiled Thousand+ page tomes of the ingame books.
    Oh, no, it's not the "not everyone likes anime" card, I, specifically am not allowed to make anything in reference or homage to anything. Originality is encouraged, unless you're not me, and especially unless you're cribbing from the Elder Scrolls, which I loathe utterly and without measure.

    Because, apparently, this group simply could not wrap their heads around the idea that someone might know and like something outside of their relatively meager pool of experience. Son Goku is not just anime, dammit!

  29. - Top - End - #119
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    Metahuman1's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by vasharanpaladin View Post
    Oh, no, it's not the "not everyone likes anime" card, I, specifically am not allowed to make anything in reference or homage to anything. Originality is encouraged, unless you're not me, and especially unless you're cribbing from the Elder Scrolls, which I loathe utterly and without measure.

    Because, apparently, this group simply could not wrap their heads around the idea that someone might know and like something outside of their relatively meager pool of experience. Son Goku is not just anime, dammit!
    My answer to that would be to bring some of the mythological sorces of these things to a session and drop them on the table and tell everyone to have a look and get off your back.
    "I Burn!"

  30. - Top - End - #120
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Metahuman1 View Post
    My answer to that would be to bring some of the mythological sorces of these things to a session and drop them on the table and tell everyone to have a look and get off your back.
    Moot point now, that group finally stopped being so passive-aggressive about it sometime around when I actually pointed out the hypocrisy. Still a good font for a few lists of my own, when I find old campaign notes and suchlike.

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