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  1. - Top - End - #181
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    • A 1995 BMC Mini is a vehicle, not a "two-handed weapon" for a 350-point SM+2 dragon.
    • Stop successfully sneak-attacking Magneto with said Mini!!
    • Do not make a character solely for the purpose of breaking the combat mechanics. Your character Runs on combat mechanics, so guess what breaks first?
    • Don't build a DMPC around a single funny line you heard on an Abridged Anime.
    • Don't build a DMPC faerie dragon named "Reggie" to your campaign. It's 2-0 for causing your players to Rage-Quit your campaign.
    • Not allowed to play a Cleric of Improvising, Imagination, or Invention dogmas. No one will understand it and the GM assumes it's some joke on Scientology.
    • Not allowed to play a heroic character in a Super Hero genre campaign if my base racial trait is "equine".
    • If a player pays the points of an unusual background in order to play a spellcaster in your modern GURPS Super campaign, don't having that player constantly meet spellcasters in every town she travels to.
    • Do not joke about running a "Star Trek My Little Pony Zombie Apocalypse" campaign. You might just get taken seriously.
    Digo Dragon - Artist

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    "For your astounding work in the field of punnery, you have been awarded one (1) internet." -Lix Lorn
    "Truly, there is nothing more terrifying than a DM with a sense of humour." -The Succubus
    "No pretty sure he thinks he's Digo Dragon." -Pinkie Pie
    "Digo, you're a liar and a scoundrel." -NeroGrimm


    Custom Avatar by me - My OC Changeling, Zeeps!

  2. - Top - End - #182
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Sith_Happens's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    * If I planar bind an elder evil for any reason, I deserve anything and everything that happens to me and/or the Material Plane as a whole.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  3. - Top - End - #183
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    toapat's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    *Likewise, not to make dungeons off "Something I saw in a W.o.W raid once."
    ** Even if the monk could totally take Ragnaros on in a fight. I mean, how many hitdie does he have, anyway?
    ***if we do it accurately, Ragnaros as converted to 3.5 would have Hit Dice in the low 100s, and somewhere around 10k hp
    ****No, the Mailman would not help, as Ragnaros has the property that all fire elementals should have, "Healed by Fire"
    *****Lava is both Fire and Crushing damage
    ******This does not mean that WoW raids would make bad dungeons.
    *******WoW has, excluding Cataclysm, very good raids and dungeons.


    My Homebrew: found here.
    When you Absolutely, Positively, Gotta Drop some Huge rocks, Accept NO Substitutes

    PM Me if you would like a table from my homebrew reconstructed.

    I use Red when I'm angry, I use blue when I'm excited.
    Drow avatar @ myself

  4. - Top - End - #184
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Arcanist's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Sith_Happens View Post
    * If I planar bind an elder evil for any reason, I deserve anything and everything that happens to me and/or the Material Plane as a whole.
    **If I ever I do manage to gate in an Elder Evil, it will never willingly wonder through the Gate.
    ***Not even if I shake a hunk of cheese on the entrance.
    ****Unless it is Monterey Jack (the best kind of cheese).

  5. - Top - End - #185
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Doxkid's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by toapat View Post
    ***if we do it accurately, Ragnaros as converted to 3.5 would have Hit Dice in the low 100s, and somewhere around 10k hp
    ****No, the Mailman would not help, as Ragnaros has the property that all fire elementals should have, "Healed by Fire"
    *When meta-game estimating how much hp a target has, it is in bad taste to describe that number in Magic Missiles.
    **In character estimations with Magic Missiles are right out.
    ***If the only damage a bosss-monster takes is from my Magic Missiles, expect a witch-burning IRL.
    A pickle shifts uneasily under the bun.

  6. - Top - End - #186
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Techwarrior's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    I may under no circumstances research the spell [character name's] Superior Magic Missiles.
    It is not a 9th level spell dealing 1d4+1 per missile, 1 missile per caster level with no caster level cap.
    Its range of effect is not Long (400 +40 feet per caster level).
    It does not bypass spells that normally prevent Magic Missiles.
    I may not take Arcane Thesis ([character name's] Superior Magic Missiles).
    Rolling 4s on every single d4 of my Sudden Empowered Sudden Maximized [character name's] Superior Magic Missiles is just rude.
    Adding Warmage's Edge on top of that will get books thrown at me.

  7. - Top - End - #187
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    *Just because my opponent has an open wound does not mean I have LoS with his circulatory system
    ** I may not cast purify food and drink to turn his blood into water
    *** Nor may I summon a swarm of ants inside his circulatory system to clog up his veins.
    **** I may not be a caster
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 Internet(s) and 2 Win(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  8. - Top - End - #188
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ElfRogueGirl

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Techwarrior View Post
    I may under no circumstances research the spell [character name's] Superior Magic Missiles.
    It is not a 9th level spell dealing 1d4+1 per missile, 1 missile per caster level with no caster level cap.
    Its range of effect is not Long (400 +40 feet per caster level).
    It does not bypass spells that normally prevent Magic Missiles.
    I may not take Arcane Thesis ([character name's] Superior Magic Missiles).
    Rolling 4s on every single d4 of my Sudden Empowered Sudden Maximized [character name's] Superior Magic Missiles is just rude.
    Adding Warmage's Edge on top of that will get books thrown at me.
    *You may not give the player of an arcane caster with deity aspirations interesting ideas.

  9. - Top - End - #189
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Riverdance's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    * I am never to base a character on V.
    **No, not even if he is the ultimate rogue.
    ***I can't get away with this by masking it with other letters.
    ****"W" the masked rogue will be vetoed on sight, no matter how good his backstory is.
    Many thanks to Ceika for my Avatar

  10. - Top - End - #190
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Riverdance View Post
    * I am never to base a character on V.
    **No, not even if he is the ultimate rogue.
    ***I can't get away with this by masking it with other letters.
    ****"W" the masked rogue will be vetoed on sight, no matter how good his backstory is.
    ***** DEFINITELY can't have a Rogue/Swashbuckler, Rogue/Ranger, or straight Rogue named Z, incorporating elements of V and Zorro.
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 Internet(s) and 2 Win(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  11. - Top - End - #191
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Riverdance's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Ksheep View Post
    ***** DEFINITELY can't have a Rogue/Swashbuckler, Rogue/Ranger, or straight Rogue named Z, incorporating elements of V and Zorro.
    ******"T" the Warforged with an Austrian accent will be quickly terminated.
    *******No, he will not be back.
    Last edited by Riverdance; 2012-10-19 at 10:23 PM.
    Many thanks to Ceika for my Avatar

  12. - Top - End - #192
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Razanir's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Riverdance View Post
    * I am never to base a character on V.
    On a side note, I thought this meant at first
    Avatar from anythingcomic.com

    Quote Originally Posted by Razanir View Post
    Everyone knows frying pans are actually weapons that people repurpose for cooking
    I am an 11/11/12/15/12/14 LG Wiz 1/Clr 1

    I have invented a new pronoun. is to be referred to as V/vim/vis/vis/vimself instead of he/him/his/his/himself or she/her/her/hers/herself

  13. - Top - End - #193
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    EvilClericGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    *I may not cary a portal ring so my companion may make point blank range crossbow shots from 3 miles away
    **chain lightning is right out
    ***as is eldrich glave
    ****No I may not apply sneak attack damage to such a balista shot because "he defiantly did not see that one coming"
    *****No ballistas
    **Nor may I use a catapult to lob a portal ring over the city wall to brake the siege from the inside
    ***I may definatley not toss the other ring into the sea to flood the city out.
    ****A volcano is not an acceptable alternative
    *****No more portal rings for me
    My Home brew setting:

    Concentric circles
    Necrotheism

    Quote Originally Posted by JusticeZero View Post
    How very Machiavellian, professor Doom.
    Clever, effective, and anyone who agrees with it is a grade A global supervillain.

  14. - Top - End - #194
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Riverdance's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Elimu Marimech View Post
    On a side note, I thought this meant at first
    I knew I was forgetting something!
    Many thanks to Ceika for my Avatar

  15. - Top - End - #195
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    * When the players say they'd like to do one more quick thing before the end of the session, don't have them hear rumors that there is a vampire in the next town over.
    ** ESPECIALLY when the party has a cleric and a Radiant Servant of Pelor
    *** Don't have all the townsfolk cheerfully inform the party that the rumors are true as soon as they arrive
    **** Pointing them straight into the ominous castle overlooking the town is frowned upon
    ***** When the party enters the castle, don't have the vampire sitting right there, amicably chatting with them
    ****** It really confuses the party when they realize that said vampire is not evil (or at least, is not being detected as evil)
    *x7 When, in the course of the conversation, the vampire agrees to help the neighboring town (which consists solely of elves) by providing them with food, it's ill advised for me to snigger at the fact that the vampire agreed to send pork… to the town full of nature-loving elves…
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 Internet(s) and 2 Win(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  16. - Top - End - #196
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    toapat's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Ksheep View Post
    ** ESPECIALLY when the party has a cleric and a Radiant Servant of Pelor
    ***Not to point out the irony of Pelor's Disdain of his own clergy more then his written disdain of the undead


    My Homebrew: found here.
    When you Absolutely, Positively, Gotta Drop some Huge rocks, Accept NO Substitutes

    PM Me if you would like a table from my homebrew reconstructed.

    I use Red when I'm angry, I use blue when I'm excited.
    Drow avatar @ myself

  17. - Top - End - #197
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    enderlord99's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by toapat View Post
    ***Not to point out the irony of Pelor's Disdain of his own clergy more then his written disdain of the undead
    ****If this argument keeps popping up, people will probably start hating each other.
    *****At that point, everything would start burning.
    ******As has surely been mentioned already, not allowed to make that happen.
    *******Neither are you.
    A sufficiently poorly-written vampire will, when exposed to the sun's rays, turn into a purple unicorn.
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  18. - Top - End - #198
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Oh, almost forgot for the above:
    *x8 This entire scenario is ESPECIALLY true immediately after said Favored Soul lost enough sanity to make him question the gods and his place in life (even if he had restored his sanity)
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 Internet(s) and 2 Win(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  19. - Top - End - #199
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    toapat's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Pokemon-freak89 View Post
    *******Neither are you.
    ********I do not acknowledge this Pelor you speak of, only Sunny, god of Sunshine, Lolipops, and Rainbows
    *********Who has a NG alignment, and Domains of Sun, Knowledge, Good, and Bunnies
    **********And does not have an evil side


    My Homebrew: found here.
    When you Absolutely, Positively, Gotta Drop some Huge rocks, Accept NO Substitutes

    PM Me if you would like a table from my homebrew reconstructed.

    I use Red when I'm angry, I use blue when I'm excited.
    Drow avatar @ myself

  20. - Top - End - #200
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by toapat View Post
    ********I do not acknowledge this Pelor you speak of, only Sunny, god of Sunshine, Lolipops, and Rainbows
    *********Who has a NG alignment, and Domains of Sun, Knowledge, Good, and Bunnies
    **********And does not have an evil side
    *********** And who does NOT have a favored weapon of either Axe or Flamethrower
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 Internet(s) and 2 Win(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  21. - Top - End - #201
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Arbane's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Ksheep View Post
    *********** And who does NOT have a favored weapon of either Axe or Flamethrower
    * Not allowed to base any characters on the cast of Team Fortress 2.
    ** Especially not the Pyro.
    * Not allowed to base any characters on the cast of Homestuck.
    ** Especially not Vriska.
    Last edited by Arbane; 2012-10-21 at 12:31 AM.
    Imagine if all real-world conversations were like internet D&D conversations...
    Protip: DnD is an incredibly social game played by some of the most socially inept people on the planet - Lev

  22. - Top - End - #202
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    toapat's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Ksheep View Post
    *********** And who does NOT have a favored weapon of either Axe or Flamethrower
    ************His favored weapon is Tindersticks
    *************yes, the Alchemical item
    **************that is used to light fires
    ***************It is not a club
    ****************using them as such will set yourself on fire
    Last edited by toapat; 2012-10-21 at 12:42 AM.


    My Homebrew: found here.
    When you Absolutely, Positively, Gotta Drop some Huge rocks, Accept NO Substitutes

    PM Me if you would like a table from my homebrew reconstructed.

    I use Red when I'm angry, I use blue when I'm excited.
    Drow avatar @ myself

  23. - Top - End - #203
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Devil

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    * May not use a portable hole as a pit trap.
    ** May not use a portable hole for prisoner storage.
    *** May not use a portable hole as a hiding place for anyone sapient, myself included.
    **** May not use a portable hole to contain ammunition heavier than I could normally carry.
    ***** May not use a portable hole as part of a Disable Device or Open Lock check.
    ****** May not place a portable hole on my shield.
    ******* May not use said portable-hole-on-a-shield to catch fireballs, magic missiles, disintegration beams, breath weapons, or anything similar.
    ******** A portable hole may not be hurled like a Frisbee, and in any event is not vorpal.
    ********* May not use a portable hole as part of a disarm action.
    ********** May not invent a sport in which a portable hole is either a goal or a course hazard.
    *********** When the enemy stares long enough into the portable hole, the portable hole does not stare back into them.
    ************ May not use a portable hole as part of a bluff check to file a disability claim.
    ************* May not use a portable hole to win a drinking contest.
    ************** I may not use portable holes. And I'm on probation where bags of holding are concerned.
    * May not use portable holes to swallow all previous rulings, including the one banning it, and their associated asterisks.
    Alstroemeria in Thrair's War of the Final Whisper.
    GM of A Thin Blue Line.

    Me: How crazy it gets depends on how much expertise, adroitness, and finesse you navigate the current craziness. Stick the landing and the whole thing could be wrapped up in a bow tomorrow.
    Player: In other words... we're pretty much doomed, right?
    Me: You're not entirely doomed yet. Now I'll just be sitting back in the corner here, cackling at your next few decisions.

    I'm not an evil GM! Honest!

  24. - Top - End - #204
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Deepbluediver's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Jane_Smith View Post
    * Players are no longer allowed to cast color spray at allies.
    ** Or animal companions.
    *** Or rationalize catching a building on fire with this spell by some paradox of events.
    **** ESPECIALLY when allies and animal companion are inside said building.
    ***** And persuading the dm to let it happen.
    ****** Only to find out there was barrels of gunpowder inside the building and the dm is now cackling in glee.
    ******* They are also not allowed to blame the gun slinger in the party for placing those barrels there earlier when they helped him place said barrels that same morning.
    ******** Or just use color spray again at all.
    Some of these "rules" are very specific, and seem like maybe they would do better in the Funny Stories thread.
    "A man is known by the company he organizes." -Ambrose Bierce

    Homebrew Extended Signature!

    Progress in my Core rebalance project: 9 of 11 classes complete
    Druid, Fighter, Cleric, Rogue, Ranger, Wizard, Sorcerer, Monk & Paladin

    Magic Fix: spell rewrites paused; rules under revision


    Non-core stuff I want to take a crack at rewriting: Healer, Warlock, Ninja, Samurai, Artificer, Soulborn Incarnum, psionics, bloodlines, and the item-crafting system

  25. - Top - End - #205
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    toapat's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    *I am not to tame a Phase Spider
    **I am then not to have it reside in a portable hole
    ***I am then not to feed it and use its webbing to make more portable holes
    ****I am not to build my Mage tower inside the portable holes
    *****Having a Portable Phase Spider dungeon is also disallowed


    My Homebrew: found here.
    When you Absolutely, Positively, Gotta Drop some Huge rocks, Accept NO Substitutes

    PM Me if you would like a table from my homebrew reconstructed.

    I use Red when I'm angry, I use blue when I'm excited.
    Drow avatar @ myself

  26. - Top - End - #206
    Titan in the Playground
     
    GreenSorcererElf

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    *I may not bluff the paladin that my CE spellthief is the paragon of good.
    **Especially if this causes him to fall, and he is bluffed into believing that he did not emulate me enough.
    Spoiler: Current Character List:
    Show

    Aria, Vertiron
    Elena, Classics
    Bluebell, Good
    Violet, The Lucifer
    Liriel, Shadows
    Aster, Space
    Elizabeth, Chamar
    James, School
    Damien, Sun
    Tulip, Deal
    Aeris, Overrated

  27. - Top - End - #207
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Voyd211's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    * It doesn't matter if your ratfolk's name is Martin, your sword is not indestructible and grant instant swordsmastery.
    ** Nor does it if your ratfolk's name is Dandin, Matthias, Mattimeo or Luke.

  28. - Top - End - #208
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Riverdance's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    It's a little early but I thought of a name for the next thread:
    Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: Make Any Mention Of Pelor Or His Alignment. Ever.

    Quote Originally Posted by Voyd211 View Post
    * It doesn't matter if your ratfolk's name is Martin, your sword is not indestructible and grant instant swordsmastery.
    ** Nor does it if your ratfolk's name is Dandin, Matthias, Mattimeo or Luke.
    *** If my badgerfolk's war cry is "Eulalia" I'm getting sued for copyright infringement.
    ****No he does not live in an inactive volcano.
    *****I may no longer play badgerfolk
    ******Badgerfolk no longer exist.
    Many thanks to Ceika for my Avatar

  29. - Top - End - #209
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Craft (Cheese)'s Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Not allowed to play a Cleric of Improvising, Imagination, or Invention dogmas. No one will understand it and the GM assumes it's some joke on Scientology.
    ** Totally ARE allowed to play a Cleric//Artificer gestalt who worships the Becoming God.

  30. - Top - End - #210
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Arcanist's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by Riverdance View Post
    *** If my badgerfolk's war cry is "Eulalia" I'm getting sued for copyright infringement.
    ****No he does not live in an inactive volcano.
    *****I may no longer play badgerfolk
    *Badgerfolk automatically have a 100ft aura of empathy
    **Badgerfolk may not be be True Neutral
    ***Eating snakes automatically poisons you with Godsblood
    ****You can never make the save
    Last edited by Arcanist; 2012-10-21 at 08:54 PM.

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