[Oddness] Uptown Rumble OOC

[Julian84]

Oddness - Invitation Only. Public Opening TBA.

MRMM

“Here we are, sit down, take a load off, relax now. This’ll only take a minute, but you might feel a bit of a pinch. Kidding, kidding, only kidding. Now, if I was twenty years younger I might be able to tell whether if yours is a familiar face or not, but these days they all blend together, blurring the lines, kinda like a Monet, y’know what I’m saying? Now, you wanted to- Oh, right, you want the downlow, the skinny, I gotcha.

What’s to know? This is the big city, the big apple, the crown of the empire state, jewel of the Hudson, New York, Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx, Manhattan, where people are made and broken every day without a pause or hint of hesitation. ‘Course, this here is the Heights, small name in a big place, supposed ta’ be quiet or somethin’, but don’t let anyone fool you, this place has its own share of weirdness! Sure ya got your normal stuff, gangs from outta Harlem, two-bit crooks trying to make their way in a dog eats dog world, busy bees trading the pollen of who’s doing what to whom for how much? Eh, who knows? But believe you me, weird stuff has been going down here in uptown, people just don’t want to fess up to it, and it all started when that crazy cat Xander set up shop down by the fancy school, his whatshamacallit, ah, the M.R.R.? I dunno, man, but he’s got his finger in all sorts of pies and the people just dig it, y’know what I’m sayin’? Then you got weirdness like witches and covens and kids wearing too much dark clothing, like that one fella who hangs out in churches and whatnot, whatshisname, ah, Vince? Vinnie? Wears a skull ring, keeps to himself. Bad news, my friend, best to just steer clear. Then, get this, some fella, got a weird vibe to him, an energy, like crystals, y’know? Anyhow, this guy, he’s searching the city… Looking for a gal in a white gown, but doesn’t know her name… You can find this guy in Xander’s sometimes, just looking at the art like its gonna bring him some sorta clue… I dunno man.

So there ya have it, welcome to uptown, little name in a big city! We’ve got all sorts of kooks and crazies… But we call this place home. And what a place it is, too… Every day, you never know what’s going to turn up, though you might not even believe your eyes – Vampires, psychics, magicians from the orient!

…All sorts of oddness.”

Setting: Manhattan: Hudson Heights, Harlem; Lower Bronx - Modern Day

Features:

Before creating your character, roll a d8 once. The result will correspond to one of the four features listed below. These features exist to provide some guidance in what sort of character you create – some will be from myth and legend, others will have supernatural or superhuman power, some will have some form of influence over everyone else, and others will just be connected to these events, observers in the grand scheme of things… Though with their own plans and agendas. A character can be anyone or do anything, and so long as it fits within the constraints, or lack thereof, in their feature, it will be perfectly acceptable to use.

(Note: Forum Dice Roller not appearing to work here. Redirect to wizards of the coast online dice roller or any other of your preference and report rolls to either Julian or Valik)

Mythical 1
You are a creature of myth and legend, either disguised or trapped in a human form to live in secret amongst humans. Perhaps you are trying to regain your old form, or are trying to forsake your inhumanity for a normal life. Perhaps you are young for your kind, living in secrecy, or perhaps you are centuries, even millennia, old, and are simply trying to make a contented existence for yourself.

(Note: Mythologies used are limited to Romanic-Christian and Medieval legend. Any other must be approved by Mods first.)

Powerful 2-3
You were born different from everyone else… You were born special, with a power that no one else possesses, a power you discovered in your childhood. Perhaps you had immense strength, or could not be harmed, or could control fire with your mind… This power may be a source of dread for you, a sign of your inhumanity that others will reject… Or it may not bother you at all, even bringing you great joy.

Influential 4-5
Through your own cunning and brilliance you have secured yourself a position of influence and power… Or perhaps it was through your own blind luck and hard effort. In either case, you hold sway over many, with information not all could possess, a charismatic attitude that commands loyalty and respect… From some, at least. Your arrogant manner may have gained you a few enemies, or your power has attracted predators waiting to devour you. You are a known entity, or a shadowy figure, but your ability to move and shake the world around you with but a phone call is very, very real.

Connected 6-7-8
You do not possess great heritage, or superpowers, or influence… No, you are the common man, the cog in the machine, the ant in the colony… But you are inexplicably connected to the events at hand, in ways you don’t always fully understand. Someway or somehow, you know someone of great power, or witnessed events of great import. You are everpresent, but unseen… And in time, you may find yourself with the skills necessary to play a very important part. You are not insignificant. You are not unimportant. You are a thread in a tapestry, and your loss could destroy the whole tableau.

Character Sheet:

The sheet is lovingly borrowed from other campaigns. All players can create a maximum of two characters each. These characters must be reviewed by the moderators before being given approval for play. We encourage players to swap backstories and create characters whose pasts are tied to one another. If another PC raises significant questions or doubts about a character, a review session may be called to deal with the issue.

Example Character Sheet

Spoiler

Show

Age: Timeless.
Gender: Male
Height: Average.
Weight: Average.
Side: ???.
Feature:

Appearance

Spoiler

Show

The most generic of everymen.

Background

Spoiler

Show

The character’s history.

Personality:

Spoiler

Show

As generic as generic can get.

Abilities:

Spoiler

Show

Write a bunch of stuff your character can do here. The more specific the better!

Notes on Discretion and Devious Behavior

One of the most important aspects of a game like this is the potential for secrecy, plotting, twists, and surprises. With so many characters from so many walks of life, and various connecting backgrounds, there is no single over-arcing plot. It is a random and volatile mesh of plotlines all thrown together. Anything can happen, to anyone, at anytime. And not knowing who did what, how, when, and where makes it all the more fun.
However, as a Freeform, Play-By-Post game, the element of secrecy can be a hard one to keep a hold on. Here are a couple ideas that are highly encouraged, to allow for a more sneaky, devious, and wonderfully surprising game:

1. When posting your character sheet for all to see, please feel free to omit ANY and all details that you see fit. If you want, you can reduce your character down to nothing but a description. Whatever you need to hide things you want to keep as surprises for later. -However, you still need to fill out a full, detailed sheet, and PM it to the Moderators, Valik Sparks and Julian84. We do have to approve it, after all.

2. Please feel free, at any time, to privately contact another player, and roleplay out a mini session in which you might do something like... Offer them a job. Ask them for information. Give them information. Make an appeal. Or even blackmail them. This will allow for, say, an Influential character to hire an Connected or even Powerful or Mythical character to do something to another character, and the target won't even see it coming! -This will also mean that during public posts, discretion would have to be used when describing your characters thoughts. Replacing specific names or information with vague titles like, "The man who hired me" or "The job I'm working". -NOTE: You do not need Moderator approval to initiate a contact of this nature with another player. You don't even have to tell us you did it. Yes, that means you can even get the drop on your Mods.

Hopefully this will allow for some great surprises and fun story elements. Happy plotting everyone!

Important Links:

IC Thread - Play the game here, sillies.

Character Registry - Post finished character sheets here.

Player Registry:

{table=head]#|Player|Character|Activity
1|Julian84 (Moderator)|Lorena Lee|Ragnarok fangirl bait
2|Valik Sparks (Moderator)|Anton Briar|Don’t look in his basement
3|Babel_Matrix|Seung Kim|Running down a dream
4|Jellyfish|Alexander Mifferly|A minor in interior decorating
5|Reverend1124|Vincent Price|The crows knows
6|LordDeathKeeper|Rory Hunter|Now that's a spicy meatball
7|Cgrela|Sergei Zmeya|Say my name
8|Demented_Dragon|???|???
9|LadyMarinette|Elizabeth Sparks|Eat your heart out, Haley Joel Osment
10|McGrowly725|Isaac Dolan|A mountain of references
11|Jade_Tarem|Nora Blaise|A hymnbook in all but name
[/table]


Notable Places and Faces (Under Constant Construction):

Spoiler

Show

10 Wood Academy

Located in Morningside Heights, Manhattan, 10 Wood is a moderately priced private school for the generally well-to-do of the city. Sporting a small class enrollment, though, it has only three hundred students, all packed into a four story renovated studio apartment. Here, the academy teaches all the basics, focusing on a very relaxed and open style of teaching to allow students to grow into themselves with some semblance of peace. Older students are allowed a pass to leave during their free periods, and local hang-outs for the kids include shops, diners, and small courtyards.

The school is led by Miss Hetty Edmund as the principal, with Geoffrey Arcade the director of the school board. They are a little short-staffed, and a few of the teachers have to pull double-duty to ensure that all subjects are taught properly.

The North Coven

Established in the late fifties, the North Coven is a quiet little organization of wiccans, witches, and all others who believe they practice magic… Whether they really do or not. Over the decades, their numbers have waxed and waned, coming down to only a couple dozen in the modern era. The coven is led by Sarah Taft, a young witch with no real power, who erroneously believes that the cloisters, a nearby abbey built on the Washington Heights are the source of the coven’s power… When in reality it is simply an art museum. The coven itself is relatively close by to the cloisters, located across the Harlem River in Kingsbridge.

The M.R.R. and Alexander Mifferly

Mifferly Reductionist Retailer (M.R.R.) is a department store in Hudson Heights, selling everything from shoes to groceries to electric singing towels. It’s about the size of a Staples, but with two upper stories. There’s a café where people can meet and chat, lovely floors to lie on and watch the movies on the ceiling, mazes you can navigate to find the products you’re looking for, and a perfectly charming wackjob in charge of it all.

Alexander Mifferly (Xander for short) owns the place; he’s something of a celebrity within the store, and rather well-known outside as well. The random nonsensical nature of his ideas make any kind of practical shopping impossible, but it’s more of a recreational experience anyway, so people are willing to overlook the fact that nothing ever makes sense and it takes twice as long to find what you’re looking for. There’s never a boring day at M.R.R., which makes it a popular teen hangout, as well as a magnet for all sorts of strange happenings.

Gangs of Harlem and the Five Families

Born from a century of unscrupulous practices, the gangs of Harlem are the street crews associated with the five families, the powerful Italian mafia which controls crime within the big city… And beyond. These gangs engage in racketeering, money laundering, theft, murder, and whatever else pleases them… But they have a code of honor enforced by the upper echelons of the organization, where the mixed gangs will not cause violence against each other… Or risk starting a turf war. Harlem is controlled by the Genovese family officially, but representatives of the Gambinos, Lucchese, Colombo, and Bonanno families are active there as well…

The officers and enforcers are easily identified by their finer clothing and sense of dress. Smaller crews are determined by various smaller markers, such as colors, gang signs, or style of dress. There are some smaller gangs not affiliated at all with the five families, independent crews usually based off of ethnic or class divisions. These gangs are erratic, temperamental, and very dangerous. Those affiliated with the five families can sometimes be relied upon for protection from these dangerous elements and others… For the right price, of course.

PAIRO
The Psychic Anomaly Investigation and Research Operations division. As far as you're concerned, they don't exist. But as long as we're talking about them anyways... They're a government sect. Like the FBI, only smaller, more specialized, and heck of a lot more classified. There are strange things out there in the big bad world. Strange people too. People who can do things that defy logic and explanation. Nothing like the comic books. They can't topple buildings with their mind, fly to the moon, or turn Miami into the newest Ice Age Expose'. But that doesn't necessarily mean they're not terrifying in their own ways.
A Pyro can conjure a handful of fire out of thin air. A TK can pick your pocket from the other side of the block. A REMI -that's REM-Inducer- can make you start to dream while you're taking your morning coffee at work; and geez, what if you were on the road? The list goes on. Psychics. They're out there. Not in mass, but enough to catch the eye of Uncle Sam. It's not just rumors and stories anymore. It's a viable threat. And PAIRO is dedicated to dealing with any and all Psychic-related events.

It is PAIRO's job to gather intelligence, intervene for Psychic-related crimes and misdemeanors, and most importantly, to guard the thin veil of secrecy that still manages to hide Psychic presence from the general public. PAIRO is not above kidnapping, or even killing Psychics if they deem it 'necessary' to further their goals and protect the nation as a whole. Agents of PAIRO are well-trained, warned of every known Psychic ability and tactic, and on rare occasion, PAIRO even employs Psychics themselves. Why a Psychic would work with an organization like PAIRO is up to them. It varies from being born into the company, to just doing it as a way to spare oneself from dissection, to perhaps even more twisted and convoluted thought processes.

[Deathkeeper]

MRR

Wacky Theme Music!

The air is chilly and overcast on the streets of Hudson Heights. Cars race by without a pause past the rows of buildings, each looking virtually the same as the last.
And then, looming out of the gray, a large white structure appears, three-stories-high, mounted with an enormous glowing logo that reads, "M.R.R." Children rush through the entrance squealing in delight, teenagers mill about chatting with one another. Upon further inspection, the windows appear to be covered in ads and drawings and, for some reason, banana peels. A sign next to the door reads, "M.R.R. is a smoke-free zone; if you wish to burst into flames, please do so in the office across the street."
Then a sign in the door catches the eye; a giant piece of orange paper reading, "MINIONS NEEDED! A new ingenious development in M.R.R.'s customer service has caused us to require more man-power! Job requirements: Not boring. =("

So, been a long time, hasn't it, Roran? Nice to see you, hope you liked school and all that. Did I mention your whole life is a lie?
"stupid. Really is. Stupid planning if nothing else." mutters Rory, hands in his pockets as he makes his way downtown. Since his player can't remember the time of year we'll keep his wardrobe ambiguous for now, save for saying it isn't overly messy or anything.
But now wasn't exactly the time to be mentally yelling at family and their terrible ways of breaking life-changing news to you. No, because keeping your head and eyes down in the city is a great way to miss the object you're about to walk head-first into. It's a great way to not notice that pickpocket coming. It's a great way-
It's a great way to almost miss that sort-of Help Wanted sign in the window. You know, one of those things you've been looking to find, Rory? What were your exact words, now? "I don't care if it's a lady's hair salon, I'm getting a job?" Yes, I believe that's what you said. So, have at it, yes?
Rory does his best to look chipper as he opens the door.

He's met by... possibly one of the oddest scenes he's ever seen in his life. A giant wombat constructed out of graham crackers stands on a podium by the door, with speakers that encourage customers to lick him as they walk past. A series of crisscrossing paths are painted on the ground, with various labels on them, such as, "Song-powered elevators over there", "Unicorn stables and inspiration wall that-a-way", "The place where stuff happens down this road", and, "Rocket-powered bumpercar ride... *sigh* not this way." There are far too many paths to keep track of, especially since they seem to be mapping out absolutely everything in the store.
A rather stressed looking young woman in a rainbow tutu and fairy wings comes rushing by, muttering to herself, "Gonna kill that man. How hard can it be to find a man in a *white business suit*, for crying out loud..."

Rory actually chuckles. Batsh- insane job, decided not to take it, went home, decided to go out and ask for job at....equally batsh- insane place, just in a different kind of insane. Still, no sense in walking away now, he's gotten too curious.
"Um, you need a hand there, miss?"

She instantly whirls around with a grin on her face. "Hello, welcome to Mrr! My name is Connie and I'm here to help you have a magical day!" She pauses. "Erm... wait... what? No, I'm... Can I help *you*?"

"Well, I was going to ask about the Hiring sign in the window, but it looks like you're erm, a little bit busy."
There isn't a hint of condescension in his voice. Rory would never laugh at another person's job. That is, unless they really, really deserved it. Or he had it just as bad.

Connie looks at him for a second, then her expression seems to settle into one of thorough irritation. "Busy. Yes, of course I'm busy. I'm always busy chasing that LUNATIC XANDER AROUND THE STORE." She sighs in exasperation. "But I suppose that's a lost cause anyway, he'll probably turn up doing something outrageous the second I stop looking for him. You looking for a job here?"

"Well, yes, essentially." Rory says simply.

"May god have mercy on your soul," she breathes. She straightens. "Well, *normally* I'd be able to help you, but since he hasn't breathed a word about this 'new development' to me and he insists on handling all hiring matters personally, I guess we're both going to have to wait until he turns up an-"
"BEGONE, SPARKLY CREATURE!" A splash of water suddenly drenches both of them, though Connie takes the brunt of it.
A young man stands in front of them, holding a dripping plastic bucket, handsome blue eyes blinking behind his rectangular spectacles. "Oh. You're not a beetle."
Connie splutters, the water dripping down into a puddle at her feet. "YA THINK?"
"Indeed I do! My apologies. That was an utter waste of water." He tosses the bucket aside. "Mop that up, please?" He grins, then begins to walk away.
"What the- XANDER!" Connie almost slips on the puddle, then hurries after the man.
"People are complaining about the secret level, the singing elevators are the third most impractical things you've ever thought of, and there's a young man here looking for a job!" she exclaims.
Xander pauses, then looks over his shoulder, seeming to see Rory for the first time.

Rory gives a cheerful wave, mostly wet but his hair already looks dry.
(This isn't anything supernatural, my hair has a tendency to look dry unless I totally submerge my whole head.)

Xander walks over, scruitinizing the young man with new interest. He looks him up and down, seeming to be thinking long and hard. He strokes his chin, then takes a few steps back, straightens, and comes to a conclusion.
"You're all wet."

Rory leans back and folds his hands behind his head.
"Yes. That happened but moments ago. I do believe you had something to do with that." he says nonchalantly.
Connie stands behind Xander, her face an unamused testament this was so.
Xander just nods. "Ah! I see."
He examines the boy a second more, then exclaims, "You're hired!" and walks away.
Connie stands in shock for a moment. "Wait... WHAT? Xan- GET BACK HERE!" She literally drags the man back, pulling on his arm while he gasps out indignant protests. "Hey, watch the suit! You're dripping on it! YOU'RE DRIPPING ON IT!"
Connie ignores him and settles him firmly in front of Rory. "Ahem," she says. "Don't you think it would be a good idea to... interview him first?" she says through a contrived grin.
Xander stares at her as though she'd just said something in Vulcan.
"You know. Ask him questions. Learn about his background, his skills, other jobs he's worked at..."
"Why would I care what other jobs he's worked at?" Xander asks. "I like him. So he's hired."
"How do you know you like him? He just said like, two sentences!" Connie says.
He shakes his head sadly. "Oh, my dear, misinformed, simple-minded minion. You know nothing of how a company works. Now go, don't let me keep you from your work. You looked like you had something very important to attend to."
He offers her a cheerful smile, which she returns with a look of such utter indignation. Then she glances at Rory, shakes her head, and storms off. "Hello, welcome to Mrr! My name is Connie and I'm here to help you have a magical day!" she yells at a group of five-year-olds entering the store.
"Ah, my benevolant crew," Xander says affectionately, watching her go. "What would I do without them."
Seeming to remember Rory, he turns back to the lad. "And I hear tell you're looking to join our ranks?"

Rory shrugs, "Truth be told sir, as long as my outfit stays just a tad more sane (or at least more masculine) than hers, I think I'll be fine. "
Xander's face freezes at the word "sane", though the disaster seems to be mediated by the following words, and he relaxes into his regular grin. "Excellent!" he exclaims, throwing up his hands. "Welcome to Mrr! You shall be knighted in the morning!"
Sarah: For about the twentieth time he turns to leave, then, as usual, comes right back over. He drums his fingers together. "Oh. Yes. The interview. I suppose that's a technicality that my associates..." -he sighs- "still haven't allowed me to dispose of. Along with about a dozen health laws... ANYMONKEY! We shall set up a date for your interrogation! All you have to do is call this number!" He hands him a businesscard, but all that's written on it is a big black "9".
Xander leans in close and murmurs, "Just a tip; you might want to say it loud. It's ridiculously hard to hear sometimes."

Rory nods. "Show up tomorrow, yell 'Nine.' Got it. "

Xander claps the boy on the shoulder. "I like you already! And it's not even because your shoelace is untied! Now if you would excuse me, I'm a *very* busy man with a ridiculously tight schedule. FAREWELL, MY MINION IN THE MAKING!" He skips away, instantly adopting a random customer into his attention and linking arms, exclaiming in a friendly voice, "I'm bored! Where are you going?"

Rory watches him go, about seventeen D&D jokes coming to his head regarding himself being referred to as a 'minion.' Ah, well. Still beats the office offered to him.

/scene

[Jellyfish]

Isaac and Xander's first encounter

AJ's lovely intro: Xander has called an emergency employee conference meeting! He must tell his employees of his new ideas, and how the store is to be...reorganized..

They're at the Mifferly Conference Hall in the Manhattan business sector, in a skyscraper. And there's a dude washing the window, looking placid and bored..

That window washer.. is Isaac. And he can hear just well enough to make out what people are saying.. not that it matters to a lowly window washer.



The business associates sit stiffly at the table, the air tense with anticipation. Many of them glance at the clock with dissatisfied frowns, others at the empty chair at the head of the table.

Then the clock strikes 9:03, and the door bursts open with... a flurry of confetti?

Alexander Mifferly strides through the door, hurling the colored paper all over the room, heavily armed with a leaf blower and trash bags full of the stuff. "MY FRIENDS!" he roars over the sound as he blows a mass of it over the table. "THERE IS TO BE A CHANGE IN THE WAY THINGS ARE RUN AROUND HERE!"

Observing the perplexed faces, Alexander switches the leaf blower off, and silence settles over the room. He strides to the head of the table, shoes clicking loudly with every step. With a dramatic flick, he spins the cushioned chair and drops into it, facing away from the bussinessmen.

To the right of Mifferly's chair sits Edmond Snarche, chief advisor to Mifferly Senior, and now passed down like an old business jacket to the newest Mifferly CEO. Ed holds his face in his hand mournfully.

The young man pauses for a moment, his smile cast in shadows, the back of his chair looming at the edge of the table.

"Did you at least prepare a legible PowerPoint..?" Ed says.

"Power point..." A chuckle rises through the silence. "My friends, I'll tell you what our 'power point' is."

The chair whirls around, and Alexander's face grins out at the businessmen, a pair of glasses perched on his nose --rather usual, most of his father's associates thought. They couldn't recall the boy ever needing them before.

"IMAGIFANTASTICIVITY!" he announces. He slams a binder down on the table, and a couple more shreds of confetti for good measure.

".....Alexa--Mr. Mifferly.." Ed says. "You still haven't allowed me to brief you on the diagrams for growth and development developed by your father and I back when the business first got on its feet. I really don't think you should make any rash decisions before at least -considering- what your father developed, and planned, and envisioned for the future of this...."

"FROM THIS DAY FORTH!" The young man leaps up onto the table. "From this day forth, I am to be known as Xander!" he says.

"Ohhhh geez.." Ed mutters.

"Not Mr. Mifferly. Not Alexander. There are two different kinds of rules, my minions! Those that are made to be slashed into more interesting shapes, and those that are made as tools to do it."

Many looks of confusion..

"The way which you refer to me is rule number one. Rule number two... there will be ABSOLUTELY NO BORING THINGS FROM THIS DAY FORTH!"

"Sir--err--Xan..der..." Ed says. "I don't think 'boring' or 'not boring' is really a priority for a retail business, it's just..."

"It is to be our TOP priority!" Xander exclaims. He stoops down on one knee, placing one hand on the table and using the other to brush confetti out of Ed's hair. "Don't you see? The difference between 'boring' and 'not boring' is like the difference between life and death, cherry pie and apple! It's LIFE-CHANGING!" He rises and strides to the center of the table. "I am your new king, and you, my friends, are to be my knights! I hereby command you to take up your arms and ride with me against the horrendous injustice that suffocates our land! There are people out there... poor, mistreated, deprived people... Living under a merciless shadow of darkness and the laws of physics..."

Ed peers down his nose at the confetti, muttering, "I don't think the choice between a cherry or an apple pie is life changing.."

"And it is the duty," Xander continues, "of every last man, of every last child, woman, and soulless marketing agent, to help one another just to survive the terrible reign of normality. But not us! We are to rise above mere survival! We sell FAX MACHINES, for crying out loud! AND LET ME TELL YOU I'M SICK OF IT! There will be no more of this nonsense as long as I'm a Mifferly! We special few have a gift. We have a COMPANY. And spinny office chairs. And lots and lots of money. Don't you feel as though destiny has entrusted us with these gifts that we may reach out to our suffering people and smite the blades of normality? I'm BORED, DANG IT! AND IT'S TIME TO BRING AN END TO IT!"

"Um, ..Xander," Ed says. "You do know, it, it wasn't destiny.. it was your father and I's work.. it was.. it was the store, the.. fax machines.. that got us where we are.. and if you like having all this money you'd do well not to.. change.. anything.."

Xander stands still for a moment. Then he turns. Pushes his glasses up. "Don't change... anything? My dear Edruminer. I thought you and my father thrived off of common sense and conforming to your perceptions of what's technically possible."

Xander walks back to the edge of the table and drops off, stepping into his chair and then sitting down. "As you all know, George Mifferly moved away. I, Xander Mifferly is now the head of the company. Wouldn't you say that rather a lot has changed, and that adjustments to our new set of circumstances must therefore follow?"

"...Well... What.. -exactly-.. are we talking about..? As far as.. adjustments.."

Xander breaks out in a wide grin. "So glad you asked!" he says in an instantly more friendly tone. He flips open the binder and slides it over to Ed. "Number one: We build a giant talking wombat out of graham crackers and place it at the front of the store. Products are nothing without presentation, and we must be able to reach our guests in a unique and engaging way the second they walk through the door. Plus the added sense of taste will give an extra dimension to the store and they'll be more likely to have lasting memories."

Ed..looks... catatonic.

"Second, and slightly less important. We begin selling more... interesting products. Anything that's fun, unique, and has nothing to do with office supplies."

"But.. but..." the words can't seem to form as he stares incredulously at the binder.

"Reginald, I put you in charge of pulling something together." He points to the head of accounting, who opens his mouth, then looks around. "NEXT! Our employees are too nondescript. Shoppers don't feel like they can relate to them. They just seem too..." he strokes his chin, "norrrrmal. Gary, I put you in charge of costumes. Try literally everything you can think of. Any questions?"

Ed..snaps. He slams his hands on the table, bolting upright. "ALEXANDER. The
Mifferly Reductionist Retailer is NOT your plaything! This not a child's -sandbox- this a corporation for goodness sake! Years of hard work and sacrifice was put into this business and I won't see you throw it all to the gutters!" He breathes, looking around, swallows hard. "I-I... Look, it's, what you're saying.. It won't work! It can't! What you're talking about you.. You haven't even stopped to consider your limitations! The demographics, contracts, royalties, taxes, licensing, you can't just turn an office supply store into a funhouse! You just -can't- make it work!!"

Can't make it work.. it echoes.. softly.. distorted slightly through the windows.. into the ears of the man.. Who can make anything work.

Isaac knocks on the window

Xander opens his mouth, then stops. He looks at the window.

Ed quirks an eyebrow. "Good grief, since when were such low-lives this audacious?"

Isaac focuses his stare on Ed for a moment, but finds him lacking and looks at Xander.

Xander offers Ed a smile. "You gonna get that?" He tilts his head at the window.

"...Ex..cuse me? That's the -window washer-. He has no right to interrupt our meeting, he's probably trying to trick us and rob us or something!"

Xander holds Ed's gaze. "If he did, those would be highly entertaining circumstances." His smile widens, his mind wondering at the experience of intrigue these circumstances generate and if he could possibly recreate them.

Isaac is now tapping his foot impatiently, arms crossed, his gaze still fixed on Xander.

"You... you're.... seriously?" With a half sigh, half growl, Ed gets up, takes out his wallet, and a nice pen, and shoves them off to an asociate. He grumbles something incoherent, then marches to the window, struggling with the latches until he figures it out, and the glass pane slides open..

Without hesitation Isaac steps through the window, not even giving Ed a glance. "I can make it work."

Xander glances at the window washer, then at the binder, then at Ed. "Reeeeeeally? Did you hear that, Edjmesund?" He laces his fingers together, then leans on the table, peering at the man with curious blue eyes over his
fingertips. "Please, enlighten us."

Isaac looks around the room.

Ed blinks.. staring.. "He's dirtying the carpet.."

"First off...my name is Isaac. Secondly... They aren't required here." He walks over to the binder on the table and picks it up. "They really don't have the vision, but you'll need them later."

The book is filled with sketches that look like they've been scanned out of a sketchbook, along with random scribbles and notes

Xander peers at Isaac, then at Ed, and grins. "See? THIS is a man who knows what he's talking about!" He blinks through his glasses. "Wait... what doesn't have the vision?"

Without even looking up from the binder he waves his hand at the others in the room. "All of them."

"Oh. But you suggest I keep them around?"

"They will serve a purpose."

"Oh. You hear that? You get to keep your jobs! Yaaaay!" He throws a handful of celebratory confetti at some of the closest board members, then stands and leans over Isaac's shoulder. "So what about these sketches?"

"Some of these...will take time. I'm not sure what this one is."

Xander squints at it, then takes off his glasses to get a better look. "Oh. That's me in a dragon-shaped golf cart chariot, can't you tell?"

"I... Yeah that'll work."

"YOU'RE HIRED!"

"Um.. um.. Alexander..? ALEXANDER!" Ed says. "This.. this man is a WINDOW CLEANER!"

"Just a job in passing."

"He doesn't know what he's talking about! He, why are you so willing to listen to HIM??"

"I own a suit, which is about all the qualifications you have."

Ed chokes on that.

"Because he knows what I'M talking about," Xander says. "And that's all that really matters! And besides, I like the way he thinks." He claps Isaac on the shoulder and grins proudly out at the board members.

Isaac looks over them darkly

Xander nudges him slightly. Still grinning, he leans over and murmurs, "Smile. I have reason to suspect they're cannibals."

"You'll need a bigger building."

"Done."

"And... We need to start immediately."

Ed slumps into his chair woefully. "This is the end.."

"Oh no," Xander says, picking up a trash bag and striding to the window. He dumps the confetti out to blow down onto the sidewalk below, a wild smile distorting his features. "This is the brownie."

He pauses.

"...Beginning."