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Thread: Silly Optimization
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2012-10-12, 06:50 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2011
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- Minneapolis, MN
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Silly Optimization
Hey, all!
I just had an idea. Seeing as how I love to optimize absurd concepts, I want to enlist the playground to help me by throwing the most convoluted, ridiculous, and downright silly character ideas at me for me to try my hand at.
Other optimizers are welcome to post their takes on any concepts they see here, and hopefully this will spiral into a goofy amalgamation of T-Rex Bards and
Multiheaded Chimeric Gelatinous Skeleton Tauric Symbiotic Saint Weretiger Pseudonatural Half-Troll Toad+Anthropomorphic Toad/Giant Toads
TO DO
Axe Cop
Half Giant Stealth/Caster
Gollum the Panty Snatcher
Anthro Squid of Annoyance
Rocky and Bullwinkle
Bowser
Sandwich Monk
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2012-10-12, 07:18 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
Re: Silly Optimization
Mimic one class, of your choice, from Kingdom of Loathing.
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2012-10-12, 07:56 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2010
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Re: Silly Optimization
Characters I have toyed with myself...
Pathfinder:
Rage Prophet (Prc needing Barbarian and Oracle)
El-Kabong (Bard build that hits people with summoned instruments - mine was Half-Orc)
3.5e
Mecha-Godzilla (Warforged Artificer / Juggernaut and my signature character )
Tinkerbell (Fey Mystic Theurge)
Twilight Sparkle (Unicorn Mage)Current Character: Pathfinder Tiefling Sorcerer (Abyssal Sorcerer 5, Souleater 1)
Previous Favorite Characters:
D&D1e: Elven Mage 15/Thief ??
D&D2e: Saurian Necromancer 12
D&D3e: Warforged Juggernaut 5/ Artificer 5/ Acolyte of the Skin 4
D&D4e: Drow Swarm(?) Druid 3
OWoD: Daughter of Cacophony
NWoD: Galatea Promethean
DH: Hiveborn Assassin 3
Rifts: Nanobot Swarm / Airborne Computer Virus
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2012-10-12, 08:56 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
- Location
- Minneapolis, MN
- Gender
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2012-10-12, 09:29 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
- Location
- Seattle, WA
- Gender
Re: Silly Optimization
Fiendish Phrenic Half-Dragon Dungeonbred Sentry Ooze Gelatinous Cube (of DOOM!).
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2012-10-12, 09:45 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2004
- Location
- I wish I knew...
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Re: Silly Optimization
Jumplomancer probably qualifies... everyone worships you because of your ability to jump legendary distances. Red shirt and hat and blue coveralls appear to be mandatory, although a white/brown color scheme also works for the upgraded version with three levels in Pyrokeneticist. Either way, ranks in Profession (Plumber) are also apparently mandatory.
And of course, the Half Dragon Anthro Turtle whom is his nemesis.Last edited by ShneekeyTheLost; 2012-10-12 at 09:49 AM.
SpoilerQuite possibly, the best rebuttal I have ever witnessed.
Joker Bard - the DM's solution to the Batman Wizard.
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2012-10-12, 09:47 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2005
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Re: Silly Optimization
While Bearington Bearman the Bearbearian is meant more as an example of how optimizing =/= cheese/munchkinry, it is also an extremely silly build when you look at it objectively.
NOW COMPLETE: Let's Play Starcraft II Trilogy:
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My Life For Aiur? I Barely Know 'Er: Legacy of the Void
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2012-10-12, 09:47 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Dec 2011
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Re: Silly Optimization
An optimized build that mimics Axe-Cop! would be awesome!
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2012-10-12, 09:51 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
Re: Silly Optimization
I was working on a Telflammar Shadowlord. He was going to be an Arcanist (Wizards, Mystic Ranger, or Duskblade w/out Extra Spell earrata), and Twin Repeat Spell Celerity and have Daze Immunity, and then use a Wand of Dimension Hop to convert the Standard actions into full attacks.
I'm still fiddling with several build figuring this one out.Avatar of Rudisplork Avatar of PC-dom and Slayer of the Internet. Extended sig
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2012-10-12, 10:27 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2012
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- Menasha, WI
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Re: Silly Optimization
Bard/Emissary of Barachiel/Evangelist diplomancer cheese. Convert whole villages, towns, even cities.
“No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife between the shoulder blades will seriously cramp his style.” ― Steven Brust
"In God we trust. All others we investigate." - United States Army Military Police Corps
My thanks to Komodo for the excellent Avatar.
Check out BSR's Improved Sorcerer project.
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2012-10-12, 10:40 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2008
- Location
- Nowhere around
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2012-10-12, 11:52 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
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Re: Silly Optimization
I have a challenge for you. Can you build a character angrier than this one?
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2012-10-12, 12:05 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
Re: Silly Optimization
Avatar of Rudisplork Avatar of PC-dom and Slayer of the Internet. Extended sig
GitP Regulars as: Vestiges Spells Weapons Races Deities Feats Soulmelds/Veils
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2012-10-12, 02:39 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2004
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- I wish I knew...
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Re: Silly Optimization
Eh, my version of Bruce Banner was a Strongheart Halfling Monk2/Stoneblessed3/Barbarian1/Warhulk10/Hulking Hurler2/Frenzied Berserker
I forgot what the spare level was. Might've been Warblade or Crusader or something like that.
He took the Mountainous Rage ACF, so that he went from Small to Large size. Ended up going from a Strength of 6 to 40 something when he raged. Also Spirit Lion totem.
The traditional Hulking hurler with Cancer Mage + Festering Anger was quite an angry fellow...SpoilerQuite possibly, the best rebuttal I have ever witnessed.
Joker Bard - the DM's solution to the Batman Wizard.
Takahashi no Onisan - The scariest Samurai alive
Incarnum and YOU: a reference guide
Soulmelds, by class and slot: Another Incarnum reference
Multiclassing for Newbies: A reference guide for the rest of us
My homebrew world in progress: Falcora
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2012-10-13, 02:01 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
- Gender
Re: Silly Optimization
I'm going to go with: the Trouserfang Dwarf. If you can fill this out something viable,(poison-focused would be cool,) I will love you forever.
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2012-10-13, 05:09 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
Re: Silly Optimization
A half-giant stealth/caster was pretty jokes, but one that's really cool is marshal /factotum/beguiler on a mongrelfolk. An ugly little creature charming everyone left and right. Its Gollum the panty snatcher (cue mental image)
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2012-10-13, 05:20 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- Elsewhen
- Gender
Re: Silly Optimization
Anything involving an Anthropomorphic Giant Squid who runs around slapping people with his 8 tentacle natural attacks. If there is a way to get nonlethal sneak attacks in there, then that would be amazing.
Last edited by HunterOfJello; 2012-10-13 at 05:21 AM.
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2012-10-13, 03:00 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
- Location
- Minneapolis, MN
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Re: Silly Optimization
I assume that the jumplomancer has already been made somewhere else, but has Bowser?
My To-Do list:
-Axe Cop
-Fleshed out trouserfang dwarf
-Harmless anthro-squid
Are any of the others here incomplete? I don't have them on the list because it seems like they're already finished.
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2012-10-13, 03:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
Re: Silly Optimization
Would that be any different than a Dragon Turtle?
How About...
The Thing:
Troll-blooded Hengeyokai Champion of the Wild Ranger 4/Savage Ghost 4/Warshaper 4/Primeval (Giant Octopus) 8
Possess creatures with Malevolence, get all Warshaper's immunities, turn arbitrary appendages into natural weapons, only be destroyed by fire, moan to freak out huskies, and when things get crazy, make the possessed creature erupt a mass of flailing tentacles.Last edited by eggs; 2012-10-13 at 04:35 PM.
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2012-10-13, 10:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
- Location
- Minneapolis, MN
- Gender
Re: Silly Optimization
This is my take on the trouserfang dwarf. It uses a modified version of the "can't touch this" build by Person_Man
It's a natural attack charger/tank. The crusader level is for the Leading the Charge stance and effective DR/5
SpoilerThe Guardian of Evermeadow
In the hidden forest of Whisperwind, at the base of Mount Tall, lies the villiage of Evermeadow. It is a place where no evil creature dares enter, for not a single one has come back to tell the tale in over a century.
It all started during the battle of nights, where every able-bodied man for miles around was enlisted by King Longbeard IV to assist in his crusade against the Meanlings. One such man went by the name of Darvil Metalweapon. He was of kind heart and brave soul, so became a field medic. He was a man of science and had discovered a way to reverse-engineer toxins found in a certain snake to heal wounds rather than cause them. With his medical expertise, he won the battle of nights and returned to his hometown of Evermeadow.
Upon his arrival, a voice called down to him from the heavens, telling him that he had been chosen by the great dragon Bahamut to fight in the endless battle against Tiamat. He was remade in Bahamut’s image, and never seen again.
Ever since that day, it’s been as if a silent protector has watched over the town of Evermeadow, and even the meanlings have dissapeared from within mount tall, leaving the villiagers free to harvest it’s precious Rarium
SpoilerNAME:Darvil Metalweapon
ALIGNMENT:Chaotic Good
STR:22(16 base+6 VoP)
DEX:6 (8 base-2 race)
CON:35(18 base+4 race+5 levels+8 VoP)
INT:8
WIS:16(12 base+4 VoP)
CHA:6(8 base+2 VoP-2 Race-2 Flaw)
CLASS:Ranger, Totemist, Crusader, Monk, Fist of the Forest, Deepwarden
RACE:Dragonborn Dwarf, Heart Aspect
LANGUAGES:Common, Dwarven
ANIMAL COMPANION: Tiny Viper
BOOKS USED:Core, Magic of Incarnum(Totemist), Book of Exalted Deeds(Vow of poverty), Unearthed Arcana(Flaws), Fiendish Codex 1, Tome of Battle(Crusader),Races of the Dragon (Dragonborn, Dragon Tail), Races of Stone(Deepwarden), Complete Champion(Fist of the Forest)
FLAWS:Shaky, Pathetic(CHA)
THE BUILD
SpoilerDarvil Metalweapon
{table=head]Level|Class|Base Attack Bonus|Fort Save|Ref Save|Will Save|Skills|Feats|Class Features
1st|Ranger 1 |+1|+2|+2|+0|Climb 4, Heal 4, Jump 4, Knowledge(Dungeoneering) 4, Survival 4|Great Fortitude, Sacred Vow, Dragon Tail, Track|Favored Enemy:Animals, Track bonus feat, Wild Empathy
2nd|Totemist 1 |+1|+4|+4|+0|Handle Animal 2, Survival 5|None|None
3rd|Totemist 2 |+2|+5|+5|+0|Handle Animal 4, Survival 6|Poison Healer|Totem Chakra Bind (+1 Capacity)
4th|Crusader 1 |+3|+7|+5|+0|Handle Animal 6, Survival 7|None|Fortuitous Counterstrike, Steely Resolve 5
5th|Ranger 2 |+4|+8|+6|+0|Climb 5, Heal 5, Jump 5, Knowledge(Dungeoneering) 5, Survival 8|Two Weapon Fighting|Two Weapon Combat Style
6th|Ranger 3 |+5|+8|+6|+1|Handle Animal 9, Survival 9, Tumble 1|Power Attack, Endurance|Endurance Bonus Feat
7th|Monk 1 |+5|+10|+8|+3|Tumble 4|Stunning Fist, Improved Unarmed Strike|Stunning Fist Bonus Feat, Flurry of Blows, Unarmed Strike, Monk AC Bonus, Unarmed Damage 1d6
8th|Monk 2 |+6|+11|+9|+4|Tumble 7|Combat Reflexes|Combat Reflexes Bonus Feat, Evasion
9th|Fist of the Forest 1 |+7|+13|+11|+4|Survival 11|Vow of Poverty|AC Bonus, Fast Movement, Feral Trance 1/day, Primal Living
10th|Deepwarden 1|+8|+15|+11|+6|Handle Animal 10, Survival 13|Touch of Golden Ice|Trap Sense +1
11th|Deepwarden 2 |+9|+16|+11|+7|Handle Animal 14, Survival 14|None|Stone Warden
12th|Totemist 3 |+10|+16|+11|+8|Handle Animal 15, Knowledge(Nature) 2, Survival 15|Sanctify Natural Attack, Multiattack|Totem’s Protection
13th|Totemist 4 |+11|+17|+12|+8|Handle Animal 16, Knowledge(Nature) 3, Survival 16|None|None
14th|Totemist 5 |+11|+17|+12|+8|Handle Animal 17, Knowledge(Nature) 5, Survival 17|Nymph’s Kiss|Chakra Binds (Crown, Feet, Hands)
15th|Totemist 6 |+12|+18|+13|+9|Handle Animal 18, Knowledge(Nature) 7, Survival 18|Cobalt Charge|Totem Chakra Bind (+1 Meldshaper level)
16th|Totemist 7 |+13|+18|+13|+9|Handle Animal 19, Knowledge(Nature) 9, Survival 19|Nemesis|None
17th|Totemist 8 |+14|+19|+14|+9|Handle Animal 20, Knowledge(Nature) 10, Survival 20|None|Rebind Totem SOulmeld 1/day
18th|Totemist 9 |+14|+19|+14|+10|Handle Animal 21, Knowledge(Nature) 12, Survival 21|Improved Multiattack, Favored of the Companions|Chakra Binds(Arms, Brow, Shoulders)
19th|Totemist 10 |+15|+20|+15|+10|Handle Animal 22, Knowledge(Nature) 14, Survival 22|None|None
20th|Totemist 11 |+16|+20|+15|+10|Handle Animal 23, Knowledge(Nature) 16, Survival 23|Nimbus of Light|Totem Chakra Bind(Double BInd)[/table]
SOULMELDS
Spoiler
Girallon Arms: Totem, +5 essentia
Sphynx Talons: Hands
Urskan Greaves: Feet, +4 essentia
Blink Shirt: Unbound
Phoenix Belt: Unbound
Manticore Belt: Unbound
MANEUVERS/STANCES
Spoiler
Maneuvers
Crusader’s Strike
Vanguard Strike
Charging Minotaur
Stone Bones
Leading the Attack
Stance
Leading the Charge
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2012-10-13, 11:13 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2011
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2012-10-13, 11:17 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2008
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- USA
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Re: Silly Optimization
Last edited by Siosilvar; 2012-10-13 at 11:18 PM.
ze/zir | she/her
Omnia Vincit Amor
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2012-10-14, 10:01 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
Re: Silly Optimization
Ok, here's a crazy probably rules impossible idea but I'll throw it out here anyway.
Make a Fine Sized character that isn't hampered by mobility problems, and is also an amazing Tripper, Grappler, and Bullsrusher.
Another Silly one, I want to see a Half Minotaur that has good face to face combat ability, but is also crazy stealthy. Just because awesome."I Burn!"
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2012-10-14, 10:13 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2007
- Location
- Sydnah, Australia
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Re: Silly Optimization
Sandwich monk
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2012-10-14, 10:27 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
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Re: Silly Optimization
The barbarian who thinks he is a wizard.
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2012-10-14, 11:39 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
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- ⚣
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Re: Silly Optimization
Voila. http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=132294
The Human Heritage feat qualifies it.Last edited by Rubik; 2012-10-14 at 11:40 AM.
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2012-10-14, 12:29 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
Re: Silly Optimization
anyone using the Silverhair Knight PrC
a Pure paladin Landshark Magehunter (Mystic Fire Knight and Underdark Knight substitutions. Swim through rock)My Homebrew: found here.
When you Absolutely, Positively, Gotta Drop some Huge rocks, Accept NO Substitutes
PM Me if you would like a table from my homebrew reconstructed.
Drow avatar @ myself
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2012-10-14, 02:12 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2011
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- Minneapolis, MN
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2012-10-14, 04:31 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
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2012-10-14, 05:14 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
Re: Silly Optimization
How about
Mothra (and annoying fairy sidekicks):
Good-aligned Dvati Shaman 20 with vermin companion; Hero, Trickery and Spell Domains; Feats for Ocular spell, Alternate Spell Source and DMM: Persist.
For a companion, grab a Gargantuan Monstrous Spider with webs and the Wingstorm feat (feats are only available at level 20, but a smaller spider could keep the build together at lower levels); persist Giant Size, Righteous Might, Divine Power, Divine Favor and Celestial Aspect [Wings of the Astral Deva] on it, and persist Reduce Persons on the Shaman (through Ocular+Alternate Spell Source+Greater Anyspell shenanigans). And since we're talking a high enough level build for a colossal flying spider and Nightsticks are cheap, let's also persist Disguise Self on the companion (to look like a big white moth) and some more shenaniganed Celestial Aspect wings on the fairies.
Proceed to have annoying fairies sneak around, talk in synch and drop some weird magical action as a giant moth flies through metropolitan areas biting, wind-gusting and spraying web at things.