Kneenibble's Knack for Knightly Knickers: a Knell for Random Banter #184

[Kneenibble]

Skill in the weapon is nothing without banter, for that sets it a-work; and learning a mere hoard of gold kept by a devil, till banter commences it and sets it in act and use.

Hereof comes it that the Playground is valiant; for the cold blood we did naturally inherit of our fathers, we have, like lean, sterile and bare land, manured, husbanded and tilled with excellent endeavour of speaking good and good store of fertile banter, that we are become very hot and valiant.

If I had a thousand sons, the first humane principle I would teach them should be, to foreswear thin discourse and addict themselves to banter.


The Previous Random Banter can be found here:
Mynxae's Maliciously Magnificent Random Banter #183


The Not-So-Random Rules of Random Banter:
A hot temper leaps over a cold decree

Spoiler

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1. Spam. For the purposes of RB, one word posts are generally considered spam. Likewise, posts that are nothing but *actions like this* are also be considered spam. Remember that the quality of the post's content is much better than the speed of your response.

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Unto the Last Syllable of Recorded Banter:

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Amotis' Random Banter #1
Dhavaer's Random Banter #2
PhoeKun's Random Banter #3
Rei Jin's Random Banter #4
Toxic Avenger's Random Banter #5
Jibar's Random Banter #6
Ego Slayer's Surrogate Random Banter #7
Sneak's Random Barroom Brawl #8
Sophistemon's Solemnly Random Banter #9
Vaynor's Very Random Banter #10
Bookman's Blathering Random Banter #11
Gralamin's Glorious Random Banter #12
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The Zerglings Utterly And Geeky Random Banter #15
jaqueses Truthfully Randomly Fireside Banter # 16
Jack Squat’s Jubilantly Quixotic Random Banter #17
Cardel's Banter of Cookie Jubilation #18
Archonic's Chaotically Random Banter of Rods #19
The Rod's Inanimate Temple of RANDOM banter #20
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Deckmaster's Divinely Delightful Random Banter #22
Saithis' Soliloquy of Random Banter #23
Loveable Lianae's Ludicrous Lampooning Lottery #24
NEO|Phyte's Neolithic Nest of Weasel Banter #25
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The Logic Vampire's Rational Random Banter #41
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Death's delightfully morbid surrogate random banter #50
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var Lord_Magtok = Random(Banter*62) + Surrogate
Jibar's Retro Random Banter #63
Malina's Random Spanish Banter #64 of morphical annoyance
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Scorpina's Random Banter #70
Raistlin1040's Super Special Awesome Random Banter #71(Now with 20% more tacos)
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Lucky’s Random Banter #73
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D'anna Biers RB #75
Zeb The Troll's RB#76
Egdpollard's RB #77
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Random Banter #79 In Loving Memory of Hexa_Regina
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Vespe's Random Banter #81 of singing dolphins and mostly harmless planets.
CSK's Giant in the Playground Forums Addicted Anonymous, Random Banter #82
Iames's Ramblingly Erratic Belldandy-Charged Random Banter #83
Serpentine's Scintillating Sensually and Sinuously Seductive Stochastic Satire #84
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Bushranger's Bodaciously Buffed Random Banter-y Rooster #93
Haruki's Historically Hilarious Honey-covered Random Banter #94
North's Maple Syrup Flavored Non-Alliterative Random Banter #95 Eh?
Wadledo's Weirdly Warbling Watercress Watching Washing Machine Only Random Banter #96
SMEE's Random Banter #97 of gender bending and closet bursting
Raiser's Rambunctiously Rambling Random Banter #98
Dr. Bath's Random Banter, dripping with daring deeds of dastardly deipnosophists #99
VOTE, the Democracy Demon's Devilishly Devious and Decidedly Diabolical Desultory Derision (Random Banter) #100
Jack Squat's Justlessly Juxtaposed Random Banter #101
Dallas-Dakota's Dundering Dandelion's Devilish Damsel's Distress Random Banter #102
Destro Yersul's Dangerously Distracting and Doubtlessly Disturbing Random Banter #103
Aziraphiles Actually Alliterative and Awesomely Affluent Random Banter #104
Cristo's Consistently Confusing and Constantly Casual Random Banter #105
Dish's Delightfully Deranged and Deliciously Deliquent Random Banter # 106
Slayer's Seemingly Sweet and Socially Silly Random Banter # 107
Zero's ambrosial and aberrantly adventitious, abstemiously erudite Random Banter #108
Coplantor's Completely Creative Cautious and Contemplative Random Banter #109
Rutskarn's Roly-Poly Rebellious and Rejected Random Banter #110
TwoBitWriter's Tubular Tracts of Thought-Talking Random Banter #111
Phase's Phully Phormed, Phalangeal, and Phantasmagorical Random Banter #112
Wolfbane's Wonderfully Wacky and Wildly Wandom Random Banter #113
The Kiwi's Kinkily Knotted and Kookily Kickass Random Banter #114
Jude's Judgmental Jugular Jab and Jibber Jabbery Random Banter #115
The Throne of Thufir's Thoroughly Theoretical and Therapeutic Random Banter #116
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Dragonprime's Dynamically Dangerous Dextrous and Destructive Random Banter #118
Farmer Felix's Fantastic FRandom FBanter #119 (may contain traces of fnuts)
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Groundhog's Random Banter of Weather Prediction and Anti-Gopherness (part two)
Mrmud's Mixed-Up and Minimally Mechanized Random Banter #121
Dogmantra's Dastardly, Despotic and Dangerous Random Banter #122
Alteran's Amazingly Anachronistic, Altruistic, and Antagonistic Random Banter #123
Admiral Euphoria's Random Banter Thread of Delusional Grandeur #124
Fred's Flying Fishy, Fighting, Fiery, Fantastic Face Off Random Banter #125
Cyrano’s Non-Alliterative Inaugurational Random Banter #126 To Usher In The Future
Thanatos's Tharmturges Present: Tropical, Tipsy, and Typically Random Banter #127
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Shadow's Shady Shop of Sharks, Shingles, Shammies, Shiny and Random Banter #129
KataraAltinaII's Premature Not So Short & To-The-Point Random Banter #130
Supagoof's Supa-Sensational Silly Symphonies Set Sizzingly On Fire Random Banter #131
Pyrian's Pyrotechnic Pyre of Pyrrhic Pyros with Pyrotic Pythics Random Banter #132!
Perenelle's Pleasantly Playful and Passionately Peculiar Random Banter #133
Rpgsr4me's Ravenous, Roaring, Raging Rampage of Random Banter #134
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Jibar's Random Banter #137: Return of the Cat-muffin
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Deth Muncher's Destructive and Meandering Random Banter #141
A Thread in Which Banter Most Random is Expulsed Into Existence, By Ravens_cry #142
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Banjo’s Bodacious & Boosted Bumper Bulletproof Box of Banter Most Random #145
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KuReshtin's Vociferously Ruminating Harbinger of Random Banter - #147
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Skeppio's Splendidly Strange & Superbly Scintillating Random Banter - #149
Teddy's Turbulent and Topicless Random Banter #150
Fifty-Eyed Fred's Ferociously Fanatical and Fabulously Fascinating Random Banter #151
Rae's Really Rascally and Ridiculously Rowdy Random Banter #152
Haruki's Hot n' Holy Random Banter #153
MoonCat's Magnificently Mythopoeic Random Banter #154
Eadin's Exchange of Extraterrestrial Excuses AKA Random Banter #155
Happy HalfTangible's Horrific Hail of Random Banter #156
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LaLa’s Laughably Silly Random Banter Thread – RB #158
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Eruantion's Euphoric, Elephant-filled Elevated Epoch of Eurhythmic Random Banter #163
ATW's Awesome Androgynous Avaricious Azure Ardent Adamant Alluvial Random Banter #164
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Thufir's Thupremely Thatithfying Thecond Random Banter With a Lithp #170
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Castaras' Random Banter #173: Bringing back your nostalgic Great Old Ones
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Dark Elf Bard's Random Banter #175:Playin' Underdark Jazz since the Drow went dark.
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"Your Angel of Banter Awaits." ThePhantasm Presents Random Banter #179
Serpentine's Secretly Sapphic Salacious Sacrarium of Random Banter #180
Dimonite's Decidedly Draconic Devious Discussions: Random Banter #181
Mercenary Pen's Meticulously Planned Machine of Prose Random Banter #182
Mynxae's Maliciously Magnificent Random Banter #183

[Mynxae]

A most excellent name, Sir Nibbles. Would you like a serving of honey for your budgies? *posh voice*

[LaZodiac]

Woohoo, new thread.

Now I believe you had a question to answer unto the Pink Haired August fellow, yes? *posh voice*

[Heliomance]

I merely pray it not be a death knell.

[The Succubus]

Or a deaf knell. I'd hate having to type everything IN CAPS.

[Dimonite]

A new thread? Woah Knellie! ACK! PUN POLICE ARE HERE TO ARREST ME NOOOOOOOOASDVAODFVNA'ERNWENGWJ

[Cobra_Ikari]

*reads thread title, wonders if this means traditional boogie is to be performed in one's undergarments*

*shrugs, boogies*

...because it's fun teasing Kneen. =3

[Socratov]

*reads thread title, wonders if this means traditional boogie is to be performed in one's undergarments*

*shrugs, boogies*

...because it's fun teasing Kneen. =3

*inhales* hmmm... New thread smell...

Anyway, this quote makes me think of shin chan. What a great show that was...

*drifts off into a nostalgic mood*

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

I hope putting the top hat in the wash wasn't a terrible idea, because it REALLY need cleaning, and that's the quickest way to go about it...

[Miscast_Mage]

I hope putting the top hat in the wash wasn't a terrible idea, because it REALLY need cleaning, and that's the quickest way to go about it...

Unfortunately, methinks that shall get you a floppy toppy. On the bright side though, you get a floppy toppy.

[AtlanteanTroll]

You had the most excellent opportunity to put the name of our ship into the thread title and you did not. For that I am grateful.'

[wadledo]

Aw man, I actually get to post on the first page of a random banter?
How wonderful.

Does anyone have any suggestions for movies along the lines of Push/the Borne series?

[Sir Reingo]

Delightful, I get to see a new day dawn on the dias of deadly dictation.

[WarKitty]

*reads thread title, wonders if this means traditional boogie is to be performed in one's undergarments*

*shrugs, boogies*

...because it's fun teasing Kneen. =3

What sorts of undergarments do snakes wear anyway?

[Kneenibble]

A most excellent name, Sir Nibbles. Would you like a serving of honey for your budgies? *posh voice*

Yes, but don’t forget some honey for papa bird! Lay it on me, minxy.

Shady gardens are the best. They always seem to promote cooling breezes. But unfortunately, there's only about three metres of space between the back stairs and the fence line. Though I am jealous of the neighbours' palms, which incidentally provide the aforementioned shade.
As for bleeding heart, I think we have that under the back stairs... My Mum pulled it out because she wanted to get rid of it because it was untidy, and I take cruel satisfaction in knowing that it survived her attempts.
Oh... And I've heard things about foxglove. Do be careful with them.

They are, root to leaf, fantastically poisonous, aren’t they? I shall be careful with them, certaignly. But on the other hand they are so, so beautiful, and I have a perfect spot for them to unfurl their stalks of fingertip blooms.

Not only are shade gardens cooling and refreshing, but the garden plants that thrive in shade are usually very pretty and unusual. A thriving hosta with its graceful probisces of pale purple flowers; the bunched blue-green fronds of a bleeding heart, with its arched boughs of candy-like blossoms; dainty lacy ferns; others more exotic whose name I know not.

As to bleeding hearts, are we talking about the same plant? For some reason I thought it was a pretty exclusively cold-weather perennial which would not be able to grow in your kind of climate. This? --

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Umm... I'm going to have to say no to Mabel going any closer to my eyes than my eye brows. You know, for psychological reasons.

Elemental, you will hurt her feelings… you must let her preen you wherever she wishes, even be it the very edge of your eyelid

... Good lord are you ever scrawny.

He is like a man made after supper of a cheese-paring: when he is naked, he is, for all the world, like a forked radish, with a head fantastically carved upon it with a knife: he is so forlorn, that his dimensions to any thick sight are invincible: he is the very genius of famine; yet lecherous as a monkey, and the whores called him mandrake.

Not "The French" but French. The language is as obtuse as you can get for no real benefit. It's rules are lacking mind bogglingly unconnected to what is spoken, dictation in French is pretty much exclusively an exercise in having memorized what you are going to be dictated. The speaking itself is an annoyance, an exercise in producing ridiculous sounds which are better explained as "try to sound like a Frenchmen"; I am not required to sound like an English or an American when speaking English. I do not use "sh" instead of "s", do not make nasal sounds, abuse the particle "che" or go high pitched at the end of every word when it is expected of me to speak proper Spanish. My hands are not expected to convulse at every second as much as I am not expected to sound like a stereotypical Italian every time I speak Italian.

Their Acadëmie can rot with its "Immortals", which by now are more akin to "Zombies", for all I care; at least the RAE acknowledges that words such as "blue jean" are in the parlance of the people and include it, even if in insane ways like "bluyin" (yes, that's how you are supposed to write "blue jean" in Spanish, academic works prefer to keep the quotation marks to stave the ridiculous, but at least the RAE tried).

French is the Latin bastard son which thinks higher of himself than it should. I'm complacent in understanding most of it and caring not for speaking it ever as long as my tongue is on my mouth, I suffice with Spanish and Italian, and am more than willing to become learned in Latin and Portuguese; French, maybe I'll teach my new birdie pet that.

Though I myself endeavour to improve my French constantly, so that I might one day be fluent, I am not offended by your strong opinion – rather it tickles me wonderfully. How delightfully worded!

I understand your viewpoint will be very different from mine, as a descendent of Latin culture rather than Anglo. For me the feeling of French in my mouth is elusively delicious and comprises a part of my cultural heritage as a Canadian. Though knowing that Spanish is spelt pretty much phonetically, I respect your position about French’s preposterously inefficient orthography.

ION: In a fit of mood swinging which I decided to stabilise, my personal garden has grown by two species and I have acquired a small green chested bird which I have yet to ornithologise properly. In my traditional fashion of having every lifeform available to me eventually become able of consuming animals I have decided to experiment on feeding my small bird cooked meat, however I do not wish to see him dead; is this is a reasonable endeavour?

Cuuuuuuute! Many parrot species in the wild supplement their seed diet with larvae and insects, and can therefore digest animal proteins well: budgies, for example, can safely eat small amounts of cooked lean meat or eggs [emphasis on small]. But you should identify what kind of bird it is [pictures so we can help/squee? :D] first, just to be safe.

[Cobra_Ikari]

What sorts of undergarments do snakes wear anyway?

Well, I suppose the same ones you do, Kitty.

*snuggles*

[Kneenibble]

I ask forgiveness for posting twice in a row: I thought it better to make two indecently long posts, rather than a single post so long as to be obscene.

Woohoo, new thread.

Now I believe you had a question to answer unto the Pink Haired August fellow, yes? *posh voice*

And has thou any questions for me this day? For I have seen thy face from afar, and the fairness woven therein; and wish to impart some boon upon one whom fortune has favoured with formliness.

*reads thread title, wonders if this means traditional boogie is to be performed in one's undergarments*

*shrugs, boogies*

...because it's fun teasing Kneen. =3

You're going to give me anaemia, dammit. I need to lie down again.

You had the most excellent opportunity to put the name of our ship into the thread title and you did not. For that I am grateful.'

Our impassioned avian lust, to an onlooker so like a shrilly bursting cottonball, has disgraced the institution of your marriage enough. And, quite frankly, the pain of its revelation is too raw and tender for me to make jokes.

I merely pray it not be a death knell.

Or a deaf knell. I'd hate having to type everything IN CAPS.

Nay indeed: it summons us to Heaven, not to Hell.

However I think you will find that deaf people are quite able to read.

Delightful, I get to see a new day dawn on the dias of deadly dictation.

Be welcome to our discourse, mi squale nobilis ferens barba super os.

[Dimonite]

He is like a man made after supper of a cheese-paring: when he is naked, he is, for all the world, like a forked radish, with a head fantastically carved upon it with a knife: he is so forlorn, that his dimensions to any thick sight are invincible: he is the very genius of famine; yet lecherous as a monkey, and the whores called him mandrake.

He is like a man made after supper of a cheese-paring: when he is naked, he is, for all the world, like a forked radish, with a head fantastically carved upon it with a knife: he is so forlorn, that his dimensions to any thick sight are invincible: he is the very genius of famine; yet lecherous as a monkey, and the whores called him mandrake.

You said that twice.

ION: I managed to get out of pun police lockup. In interrogation, they said they'd been after me for years, and I didn't help my case by saying "But my hearing's bad enough as it is!" They were going let me out on bail, but changed their minds when I dumped a bucketful of water on their floors instead of giving them money. I only managed to escape by threatening to tell my kayak pun if they didn't let me out. They'll be coming for me again soon, this time to kill.

[AtlanteanTroll]

Our impassioned avian lust, to an onlooker so like a shrilly bursting cottonball, has disgraced the institution of your marriage enough. And, quite frankly, the pain of its revelation is too raw and tender for me to make jokes.

I want you now more than ever before.

[Teddy]

My sympathies. I'm hopeful that this is a recoverable evaluation, even if at a later point in time.

Yes, I'll be able to retake the exam in January without any penalties or drawbacks (but I might lose my four bonus points I've earned together during the course). I'll just have to make sure that I don't forget everything until then.

[Qwertystop]

You said that twice.

ION: I managed to get out of pun police lockup. In interrogation, they said they'd been after me for years, and I didn't help my case by saying "But my hearing's bad enough as it is!" They were going let me out on bail, but changed their minds when I dumped a bucketful of water on their floors instead of giving them money. I only managed to escape by threatening to tell my kayak pun if they didn't let me out. They'll be coming for me again soon, this time to kill.

Ummmm......

[LaZodiac]

I ask forgiveness for posting twice in a row: I thought it better to make two indecently long posts, rather than a single post so long as to be obscene.

And has thou any questions for me this day? For I have seen thy face from afar, and the fairness woven therein; and wish to impart some boon upon one whom fortune has favoured with formliness.

As ever, Cobra managed to sneak between you and get a post in before you double posted.

What are your opinion on the Shrike bird, more commonly known as the Butcher Bird. I'm curious since you're the resident bird guy.

Yes, I'll be able to retake the exam in January without any penalties or drawbacks (but I might lose my four bonus points I've earned together during the course). I'll just have to make sure that I don't forget everything until then.

Good luck Teddy!

[Dimonite]

Ummmm......

I see a reference to my earlier post is in order:

A new thread? Woah Knellie! ACK! PUN POLICE ARE HERE TO ARREST ME NOOOOOOOOASDVAODFVNA'ERNWENGWJ

[Amidus Drexel]

Gotta love that new thread smell...

ION: I'm helping out with a local Halloween/haunted trail this weekend and next weekend. Hooray for scaring little kids!

[Kneenibble]

You said that twice.

ION: I managed to get out of pun police lockup. In interrogation, they said they'd been after me for years, and I didn't help my case by saying "But my hearing's bad enough as it is!" They were going let me out on bail, but changed their minds when I dumped a bucketful of water on their floors instead of giving them money. I only managed to escape by threatening to tell my kayak pun if they didn't let me out. They'll be coming for me again soon, this time to kill.

No I didn't

This will not march, Dimonitus. This is my thread, and here we have not pun police, but pun gestapo; paronomasia is known to be curable by electroshock therapy.

I want you now more than ever before.

Don't you start teasing me now. There is only so much my little birdy heart can endure.

As ever, Cobra managed to sneak between you and get a post in before you double posted.

What are your opinion on the Shrike bird, more commonly known as the Butcher Bird. I'm curious since you're the resident bird guy.

I did not know of this bird, and having Googled, I must say I am partly disturbed and partly enthralled. How curiously and delightfully brutal.

Do you have this bird where you live?

Also

As ever, Cobra managed to sneak between you and get a post in before you double posted.

Cobra managed to sneak between you

sneak between you

*dies*

He is a tricksy snake, isn't he

[Dimonite]

No I didn't

This will not march, Dimonitus. This is my thread, and here we have not pun police, but pun gestapo; paronomasia is known to be curable by electroshock therapy.

Down with the pun gestapo! Pun bomb, go!

There was once an eskimo paddling his boat down a river. He got very cold, and decided to light a fire in his boat. Naturally, the boat sank, proving that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

[Qwertystop]

Down with the pun gestapo! Pun bomb, go!

There was once an eskimo paddling his boat down a river. He got very cold, and decided to light a fire in his boat. Naturally, the boat sank, proving that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Kayak is pronounced nothing like cake.

[LaZodiac]

I did not know of this bird, and having Googled, I must say I am partly disturbed and partly enthralled. How curiously and delightfully brutal.

Do you have this bird where you live?

Also

*dies*

He is a tricksy snake, isn't he

None that I'm aware, it's just a thing I recently learned about as well.

Yes, yes he is

[Tragic_Comedian]

I hope putting the top hat in the wash wasn't a terrible idea, because it REALLY need cleaning, and that's the quickest way to go about it...

You should have took it to a hat cleaner and got it cleaned and blocked. It's probably gonna be out of shape when it dries.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Update, the hat's perfectly fine. Because it's so damn cheap.